((Vanessa Stone continued from We're Here Because We're Here))
Productive mornings did not always make for productive days, it turned out.
Vanessa had spent the better part of her time looking for her friend, but to no avail. She'd been moving around the island relatively fast, but inevitably had to slow down to rest or catch a bite to eat, or occasionally just to freeze up a little bit when the sounds of danger hit. It had been eerily quiet, otherwise, but that was probably due to the lack of company that Jae had accustomed her to. Hopefully he was doing alright with his buds.
She hadn't expected to find Trav and Cass still up on the roof, and that wasn't why she'd come back up here, but it wouldn't have hurt. She'd have liked to have apologised for freaking out on them yesterday, if she got the chance, but it would've been pretty weird for them to have stayed in this one place for a whole twenty-four hours.
Mostly she'd just come up here because she thought it might get her a better look, and because it was familiar.
It was pretty cool, having the whole roof to herself to watch the sun going down over the horizon. It painted the sea that stretched out from Asylum Island a killer orange, the sort of thing you'd see on postcards but a hundred times better. Cams would really dig it; Vanessa would have to bring her up here when they finally found each other.
She let out a long sigh, lying into the sloping roof as she tucked her arms behind her head and stared up at the sky.
"Christ, Cams, way to make this hard."
Sunset Boulevard
Private; sorry!
((Alessio Rigano continued from Early Morning in the Garden of Good and Evil))
And Alessio found no direction. He wandered. No direction where to go. No direction where to stay. Alessio was breathing, but his breathing was not making him feel happy. He had hunger. He felt lonely. He was sleepy.
He had missed his chance. He had cowarded out of the group of Noah. Back then he felt scared. Now he felt scared. Back then there was Blair. Now he felt alone.
Wandering through the asylum, he discovered a stair, that led to. Beauty.
And the sun sinking. And Vanessa. The view. It was so beautiful.
His heartbeat. Al could not judge if it was a good heartbeat or a bad one. Did he feel good or bad? He could not tell.
His heart beats. Heartbeats. The song by Jose Gonzales. It was so romantic, yet so quiet, yet so beautiful. Al's heart beat. How did the tabs go? Al could not recall. He had learned them sometimes, it was such a beautiful song. He wanted to recall the tabs of them. Any tabs. He wanted his guitar. He wanted to sing her every song he could play. He wanted to play her all embarrassing songs he had written for her. He wanted to release his soul from it, before the death will take away his songs with him.
Heartbeats.
He knew the song from Scrubs. The song was touching. The scene was touching. Scrubs was great. Was that fitting because they were in an asylum? He wished, it would have been like Scrubs. Hah. Comedy. Let's laugh.
But sometimes it also was about dying. Like now. Like this week. This situation. He was scared, afraid of losing everything.
He should not be scared. He should man up. Talk to V. But couldn't. Say. A. Word.
Having these kind of songs in his head. Al wanted to cry. But he looked at the beauty instead.
And when she looked back, Al...uh.
And Alessio found no direction. He wandered. No direction where to go. No direction where to stay. Alessio was breathing, but his breathing was not making him feel happy. He had hunger. He felt lonely. He was sleepy.
He had missed his chance. He had cowarded out of the group of Noah. Back then he felt scared. Now he felt scared. Back then there was Blair. Now he felt alone.
Wandering through the asylum, he discovered a stair, that led to. Beauty.
And the sun sinking. And Vanessa. The view. It was so beautiful.
His heartbeat. Al could not judge if it was a good heartbeat or a bad one. Did he feel good or bad? He could not tell.
His heart beats. Heartbeats. The song by Jose Gonzales. It was so romantic, yet so quiet, yet so beautiful. Al's heart beat. How did the tabs go? Al could not recall. He had learned them sometimes, it was such a beautiful song. He wanted to recall the tabs of them. Any tabs. He wanted his guitar. He wanted to sing her every song he could play. He wanted to play her all embarrassing songs he had written for her. He wanted to release his soul from it, before the death will take away his songs with him.
Heartbeats.
He knew the song from Scrubs. The song was touching. The scene was touching. Scrubs was great. Was that fitting because they were in an asylum? He wished, it would have been like Scrubs. Hah. Comedy. Let's laugh.
But sometimes it also was about dying. Like now. Like this week. This situation. He was scared, afraid of losing everything.
He should not be scared. He should man up. Talk to V. But couldn't. Say. A. Word.
Having these kind of songs in his head. Al wanted to cry. But he looked at the beauty instead.
And when she looked back, Al...uh.
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The roof had a nice view and all, but it didn't make for either the most comfortable or safest place to spend the night. Vanessa roused herself from her state and stretched out, ready to head out again and see if she didn't have more luck searching in the twilight. Maybe Cams would've bunkered down somewhere to sleep, which would mean she wasn't a moving target.
Up on her feet, she turned around and headed- JESUS HOW LONG HAD HE BEEN THERE?
Vanessa almost fell off the roof to an untimely demise when she saw Alessia standing near the doorway, staring right at her. She was able to catch herself, fortunately, but the startled look stayed on her face.
"Christ dude, fucking say something next time!"
Vanessa didn't really recognise Alessio off the top of her head, that awkward locker conversation a distant, trivial memory at this point, and that did nothing to relax her. After all, what kind of fucking creep stood there watching you sprawled out, trying to sneak up on you and all that shit?
Oh, right. That whole terrorist mass murder thing.
She grabbed her impromptu club of a chair leg that had been poking out of her bag, standing her uneven ground as she gave Alessio a cautionary look, like a rattlesnake asking you to kindly not screw around with it. She wasn't going to let him try anything if that had been his plan, but it would be fan-fuckin'-tastic if that wasn't the case.
Up on her feet, she turned around and headed- JESUS HOW LONG HAD HE BEEN THERE?
Vanessa almost fell off the roof to an untimely demise when she saw Alessia standing near the doorway, staring right at her. She was able to catch herself, fortunately, but the startled look stayed on her face.
"Christ dude, fucking say something next time!"
Vanessa didn't really recognise Alessio off the top of her head, that awkward locker conversation a distant, trivial memory at this point, and that did nothing to relax her. After all, what kind of fucking creep stood there watching you sprawled out, trying to sneak up on you and all that shit?
Oh, right. That whole terrorist mass murder thing.
She grabbed her impromptu club of a chair leg that had been poking out of her bag, standing her uneven ground as she gave Alessio a cautionary look, like a rattlesnake asking you to kindly not screw around with it. She wasn't going to let him try anything if that had been his plan, but it would be fan-fuckin'-tastic if that wasn't the case.
Uh.
...
Van's eyes. They were so beautiful, but so scary to look at. Looking at the sun was much more comfortable for him. He stared into the sunset while replying. But it was not helping to think clearly.
"I."
What were even the chances to meet Vanessa out of all the people on the island? Was it luck? Desti-no. He got what he wanted. But did he ever express to want to meet her? On this island, probably not. Perhaps, yeah. Last night he felt lonely, all he wanted to have company. He wanted to talk to Vanessa.
"Uhm, if."
A break. Her stare. She was angry at him. Hate him? No. But still, not friendly. In this situation. Yes. People are mistrusting people. When hearing about people killing people were announced this morning. Yes.
He scared her.
"Sorry."
She was threatening him with a chair leg...oh. The chair in the room with Serena. He recalled. Vanessa was as smart as he always believed.
He was not dangerous, a misunderstanding. He would not hurt or attack Vanessa. No, if there was a way to protect her from the people who did, he would do that. Even if he was not strong.
Arms up.
"Unarmed. Not dangerous."
How does speaking work again? He needed to talk, wanted to talk his heart out to Vanessa. But he had no clue what to say. Blackout. What topic?
He finally looked at Vanessa again. Then at the floor next to her. She looked so scared, so scared of death. Just like he was. She could relate. But.
To think of her dying is even more terrifying than thinking about himself dying. Van was worth more than 100 lives.
"..."
Alessio was speechless what to say.
In the ideal trip he also would have spent the trip talking with her. He also wanted to talk her on the bus, but the sits next to her already were taken. So he had to sit next to someone else. Al assumed even if they had not been abducted, he would have not talked with her. In the museum, he would have hung out with Alvaro or Mia, instead of talking with Vanessa and Cam and the other people she hung out with.
He could have socialised more. Spent more time with Vanessa before she graduated. Now, he felt loneliness. SOTF happened and made him sad. His past were a string of bad decisions of not talking to her.
But even now, he would not have been able to properly speak to Vanessa about anything. Topic. Death? Cats? Band?
"Peyote. Uh, Coyote is great. Are...the other band members alright? Now? Uh."
His hands shook. Conversations were hard. He'd prefer just looking, no speaking. Why did he even say that?
...
Van's eyes. They were so beautiful, but so scary to look at. Looking at the sun was much more comfortable for him. He stared into the sunset while replying. But it was not helping to think clearly.
"I."
What were even the chances to meet Vanessa out of all the people on the island? Was it luck? Desti-no. He got what he wanted. But did he ever express to want to meet her? On this island, probably not. Perhaps, yeah. Last night he felt lonely, all he wanted to have company. He wanted to talk to Vanessa.
"Uhm, if."
A break. Her stare. She was angry at him. Hate him? No. But still, not friendly. In this situation. Yes. People are mistrusting people. When hearing about people killing people were announced this morning. Yes.
He scared her.
"Sorry."
She was threatening him with a chair leg...oh. The chair in the room with Serena. He recalled. Vanessa was as smart as he always believed.
He was not dangerous, a misunderstanding. He would not hurt or attack Vanessa. No, if there was a way to protect her from the people who did, he would do that. Even if he was not strong.
Arms up.
"Unarmed. Not dangerous."
How does speaking work again? He needed to talk, wanted to talk his heart out to Vanessa. But he had no clue what to say. Blackout. What topic?
He finally looked at Vanessa again. Then at the floor next to her. She looked so scared, so scared of death. Just like he was. She could relate. But.
To think of her dying is even more terrifying than thinking about himself dying. Van was worth more than 100 lives.
"..."
Alessio was speechless what to say.
In the ideal trip he also would have spent the trip talking with her. He also wanted to talk her on the bus, but the sits next to her already were taken. So he had to sit next to someone else. Al assumed even if they had not been abducted, he would have not talked with her. In the museum, he would have hung out with Alvaro or Mia, instead of talking with Vanessa and Cam and the other people she hung out with.
He could have socialised more. Spent more time with Vanessa before she graduated. Now, he felt loneliness. SOTF happened and made him sad. His past were a string of bad decisions of not talking to her.
But even now, he would not have been able to properly speak to Vanessa about anything. Topic. Death? Cats? Band?
"Peyote. Uh, Coyote is great. Are...the other band members alright? Now? Uh."
His hands shook. Conversations were hard. He'd prefer just looking, no speaking. Why did he even say that?
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Vanessa relaxed just a little when Alessio raised his arms. Ok, so he wasn't about to try anything funny, that was peachy. She still wished he'd spoken up sooner rather than sending her heart beating a mile a minute with his silent watching, but whatever.
She also wished he'd hurry up and spit out whatever he'd come up to say, folding her arms to display her impatience. Ok sure, this wasn't the most casual setting and yeah people were freaked out, but get to the fucking point out already. She wasn't really in the mood to start entertaining someone who'd been spying on her for fuck knew how long and then couldn't put together a few words.
When he brought up Peyote Coyote, a light flicked on in her brain as she finally remembered who Alessio was.
He wasn't really someone she'd given any second thought to, since he was just some random, if cooky, fan from in front of her locker, but here she was face to face with him on an asylum rooftop. Kind of an awkward position, not helped by his awkward choice of conversation.
"Two of them are safe at home, I haven't found Cams yet." She replied in as direct a manner she could; Alessio was an expert at making entrances that put Vanessa on edge.
"Have you seen her?"
She also wished he'd hurry up and spit out whatever he'd come up to say, folding her arms to display her impatience. Ok sure, this wasn't the most casual setting and yeah people were freaked out, but get to the fucking point out already. She wasn't really in the mood to start entertaining someone who'd been spying on her for fuck knew how long and then couldn't put together a few words.
When he brought up Peyote Coyote, a light flicked on in her brain as she finally remembered who Alessio was.
He wasn't really someone she'd given any second thought to, since he was just some random, if cooky, fan from in front of her locker, but here she was face to face with him on an asylum rooftop. Kind of an awkward position, not helped by his awkward choice of conversation.
"Two of them are safe at home, I haven't found Cams yet." She replied in as direct a manner she could; Alessio was an expert at making entrances that put Vanessa on edge.
"Have you seen her?"
"No, I have not seen her yet."
Yeah, Vanessa did not want to speak with him. At all. She crossed her arms and looked like his presence was...unwelcome.
"..."
He looked at the ground. He had no clue what to say.
"I'm sorry."
Al did not know what he apologised for. Conversation. Something. He pulled out his rubik's cube from his hoodie pocket.
"Uh, I brought this with me."
He wanted to talk to her, spend time with her. Perhaps talk with her about himself, about the rubik's cube. Talk about her. Just anything. The time he currently had was probably heaven in comparison to what he had experienced earlier and will experience in the future of his short life. This was heaven, even if it was an awkward heaven. It felt good being with her.
Yeah, Vanessa did not want to speak with him. At all. She crossed her arms and looked like his presence was...unwelcome.
"..."
He looked at the ground. He had no clue what to say.
"I'm sorry."
Al did not know what he apologised for. Conversation. Something. He pulled out his rubik's cube from his hoodie pocket.
"Uh, I brought this with me."
He wanted to talk to her, spend time with her. Perhaps talk with her about himself, about the rubik's cube. Talk about her. Just anything. The time he currently had was probably heaven in comparison to what he had experienced earlier and will experience in the future of his short life. This was heaven, even if it was an awkward heaven. It felt good being with her.
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She let out a quiet groan. Of course Alessio hadn't seen her, that'd be far too easy. He didn't have to apologise for it, though, and perhaps she'd been a bit too blunt. It wasn't exactly an easy situation for anyone she'd met, after all, and it didn't take a genius to see that Alessio was not exactly Mr. Charismatic.
She was about to tell him not to sweat it when he interrupted her, whipping out his Rubik's Cube as if the colourful puzzle would mean just about anything to her. Her apologetic expression quickly devolved into a confused one. "Uuuh...ok?" was all she could think to say. She didn't remember him that well, but she was pretty sure there were nothing like this involved when they had last met.
She was starting to feel just a little bit exasperated, she realised. It had been a long enough day trekking across the island whilst dealing with the frustration of both not being able to find her good pal and the grim reminders that people were out for blood, and the hints of exhaustion had started to creep in when she'd settled down to rest. Now she was having to entertain Alessio, who's train of thought was pretty much a big question mark to her? Ugh.
"Well, I still need to go find Cams, sooo...." she trailed whilst starting to approach the roof's doorway, Alessio still standing between her and it. She had every plan to just shimmy past and be on her merry way; sorry for not being friendlier, dude, but time's a wasting and you're kind of really freaking awkward.
She was about to tell him not to sweat it when he interrupted her, whipping out his Rubik's Cube as if the colourful puzzle would mean just about anything to her. Her apologetic expression quickly devolved into a confused one. "Uuuh...ok?" was all she could think to say. She didn't remember him that well, but she was pretty sure there were nothing like this involved when they had last met.
She was starting to feel just a little bit exasperated, she realised. It had been a long enough day trekking across the island whilst dealing with the frustration of both not being able to find her good pal and the grim reminders that people were out for blood, and the hints of exhaustion had started to creep in when she'd settled down to rest. Now she was having to entertain Alessio, who's train of thought was pretty much a big question mark to her? Ugh.
"Well, I still need to go find Cams, sooo...." she trailed whilst starting to approach the roof's doorway, Alessio still standing between her and it. She had every plan to just shimmy past and be on her merry way; sorry for not being friendlier, dude, but time's a wasting and you're kind of really freaking awkward.
The cube. It was not working. It was confusing her, it was making him more awkward than he already was.
"Wait."
His cube. He showed the cube to her.
"It is good for staying sane, keep being busy. You can have it, too, if you want."
But then he put the cube back into his pocket, looking at the floor. Why would she even be interested in such a thing? She was searching for Cam, not searching for passing time.
"Wait."
He wanted to cry. He tried to get tears out. Something, to not let her leave yet. Attention.
He thought of his thoughts he had, repressed. But nothing came out.
Vanessa should not leave him here all by himself. That would be terrible. But Al knew that was going to happen. Like always. Al would do nothing and Van leaves and then he won't see her again. Ever.
Now, it was the moment. Now or never.
Either he will get destroyed, or he will be the happiest person in the world.
Let's make this not more dramatic than it should be.
Be strong, be daring, be brave, couragous. Now or never. Never. Literally never.
He took a deep breath to get rid of the weird feeling he had. It did not work, he still felt cold, his stomache hurt.
Alessio was feeling weird. He wanted to cry, he really wanted to. But he couldn't.
"I never had the chance to be friends with you."
Or with anyone else. He sounded as if he'd cry, his voice was not stable.
"I wasted it. I wasted the chance."
But not a single tear was shed. He felt really scared.
"I wasted the time."
Ah, there were the first tears.
"I wasted my life."
Eye contact. Eye contact. Eye contact failed.
"I love..."
What now?
"Please don't leave. Me. Alone. Stay, please. I want to be. With. You."
Stay...
"Wait."
His cube. He showed the cube to her.
"It is good for staying sane, keep being busy. You can have it, too, if you want."
But then he put the cube back into his pocket, looking at the floor. Why would she even be interested in such a thing? She was searching for Cam, not searching for passing time.
"Wait."
He wanted to cry. He tried to get tears out. Something, to not let her leave yet. Attention.
He thought of his thoughts he had, repressed. But nothing came out.
Vanessa should not leave him here all by himself. That would be terrible. But Al knew that was going to happen. Like always. Al would do nothing and Van leaves and then he won't see her again. Ever.
Now, it was the moment. Now or never.
Either he will get destroyed, or he will be the happiest person in the world.
Let's make this not more dramatic than it should be.
Be strong, be daring, be brave, couragous. Now or never. Never. Literally never.
He took a deep breath to get rid of the weird feeling he had. It did not work, he still felt cold, his stomache hurt.
Alessio was feeling weird. He wanted to cry, he really wanted to. But he couldn't.
"I never had the chance to be friends with you."
Or with anyone else. He sounded as if he'd cry, his voice was not stable.
"I wasted it. I wasted the chance."
But not a single tear was shed. He felt really scared.
"I wasted the time."
Ah, there were the first tears.
"I wasted my life."
Eye contact. Eye contact. Eye contact failed.
"I love..."
What now?
"Please don't leave. Me. Alone. Stay, please. I want to be. With. You."
Stay...
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Ok, Vanessa had gone from confused to borderline freaked out. Like, if he was just scared and didn't know what to do and just wanted to be around someone, she could get that. She wasn't about to stick around, but she could get that. But this sudden confession out of thin fuckin' air?
"Dude, seriously." Now it was her turn to be tongue tied. She had to pause for just a moment to gather her own thoughts, though not her composure.
"I don't freaking know your name, man, ok? I don't know you, you don't know me; we just go to school together."
She wanted to keep going, but she wasn't inexperienced with breaking it off with people, and was aware that it did require just a little bit of carefulness. Usually though she was breaking up with people she had actually, you know, dated, so she was stretching to find the words here.
"I mean, it's great that you're a fan of PC and all and I'm flattered, and it was nice of you to offer me your Rubik's cube, I guess?"
Yup. Stretching.
"But seriously, this is so not the time or the place. Like, I'm sure you're a great guy and all, but maybe some other time when we're not trying to not die?"
Ok? Were they cool? Cause at this point, there was nothing more appealing to Vanessa than a speedy exit from awkward city.
"Dude, seriously." Now it was her turn to be tongue tied. She had to pause for just a moment to gather her own thoughts, though not her composure.
"I don't freaking know your name, man, ok? I don't know you, you don't know me; we just go to school together."
She wanted to keep going, but she wasn't inexperienced with breaking it off with people, and was aware that it did require just a little bit of carefulness. Usually though she was breaking up with people she had actually, you know, dated, so she was stretching to find the words here.
"I mean, it's great that you're a fan of PC and all and I'm flattered, and it was nice of you to offer me your Rubik's cube, I guess?"
Yup. Stretching.
"But seriously, this is so not the time or the place. Like, I'm sure you're a great guy and all, but maybe some other time when we're not trying to not die?"
Ok? Were they cool? Cause at this point, there was nothing more appealing to Vanessa than a speedy exit from awkward city.
Vanessa did not stay. Did not want to stay. Wanted to leave him alone.
She could not even recall his name. She did not know him. Even though Al sometimes...had spoken to her. Or, at least...tried. She knew him, though. Al knew that she at least knew him, met him, at school, eye contact happened, rarely.
And she wants to go. Until some other time. Huh. Whatever that meant. It...meant nothing good for Al.
"okay."
Heartache. He wanted a hug. He wanted to listen to glass being broken.
What was worse? The tears? The running nose? The weird feeling in his stomach? The fact that she did not even recall his name?
No, the worst was that Al had called her a bitch in his head. He would never do that. The Alessio from yesterday would have killed him for doing such a terrible thing, but yet, 'bitch' was all that he could think of. The anger was the worst.
He could not stare at her anymore, so his eyes focussed on the sunset, ignoring the beauty. Hands in pockets, tears on the ground.
She could not even recall his name. She did not know him. Even though Al sometimes...had spoken to her. Or, at least...tried. She knew him, though. Al knew that she at least knew him, met him, at school, eye contact happened, rarely.
And she wants to go. Until some other time. Huh. Whatever that meant. It...meant nothing good for Al.
"okay."
Heartache. He wanted a hug. He wanted to listen to glass being broken.
What was worse? The tears? The running nose? The weird feeling in his stomach? The fact that she did not even recall his name?
No, the worst was that Al had called her a bitch in his head. He would never do that. The Alessio from yesterday would have killed him for doing such a terrible thing, but yet, 'bitch' was all that he could think of. The anger was the worst.
He could not stare at her anymore, so his eyes focussed on the sunset, ignoring the beauty. Hands in pockets, tears on the ground.
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Phew. It was indeed ok and they were in fact cool. Hunky dory. They could move on with their lives, however short they might be.
At least, that would be great if Vanessa had actually believed Alessio, whose pain was plastered on his face about as subtly as a flashing neon heartbreak sign. It wasn't an unfamiliar face, and often it was followed by some new rumours springing up around her about school. That was always just freaking great, but at least she didn't have to worry about that out here, she supposed.
"Hey, did you hear about Vanessa dumping that guy? Man, what a fuckin' tease! Oh sorry, I was supposed to be shooting you in the face, wasn't I?"
Yeah, not what people were going to care about right now.
She could've stayed a little longer and tried to make Alessio feel a bit better, but it had been hard enough to find the right words to let him down gently; how was she supposed to pick him back up again? More importantly, it wasn't exactly her responsibility. She felt bad that it had turned out awkward like this, really, but it wasn't as if she'd led on the guy who's name she still didn't actually know.
She could've asked for that, she supposed, but it was easier to instead make her exit whilst averting eye contact as much as possible. The sooner this was behind her, the better.
((Vanessa Stone continued in Shock Me))
At least, that would be great if Vanessa had actually believed Alessio, whose pain was plastered on his face about as subtly as a flashing neon heartbreak sign. It wasn't an unfamiliar face, and often it was followed by some new rumours springing up around her about school. That was always just freaking great, but at least she didn't have to worry about that out here, she supposed.
"Hey, did you hear about Vanessa dumping that guy? Man, what a fuckin' tease! Oh sorry, I was supposed to be shooting you in the face, wasn't I?"
Yeah, not what people were going to care about right now.
She could've stayed a little longer and tried to make Alessio feel a bit better, but it had been hard enough to find the right words to let him down gently; how was she supposed to pick him back up again? More importantly, it wasn't exactly her responsibility. She felt bad that it had turned out awkward like this, really, but it wasn't as if she'd led on the guy who's name she still didn't actually know.
She could've asked for that, she supposed, but it was easier to instead make her exit whilst averting eye contact as much as possible. The sooner this was behind her, the better.
((Vanessa Stone continued in Shock Me))
And Vanessa left. And Al saw her leaving. And he heard her leaving. And he will never see her again. He might hear her again, in the announcements. That was depressing.
Arrivederci.
And he used his hoodie to wipe his tears and the running nose. And he sat down. And layed down.
Alessio did not hum Wonderwall.
((Alessio Rigano continued in Start Your Day With A Smile))
Arrivederci.
And he used his hoodie to wipe his tears and the running nose. And he sat down. And layed down.
Alessio did not hum Wonderwall.
((Alessio Rigano continued in Start Your Day With A Smile))
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