Nobody Wants This

[watcher in night†]

Meera thought Rosemary's question was a valid one. While they'd made their preparations and could depart immediately, it felt wrong to leave Joey and Becca's bodies to rot here. They deserved better. Meera thought it was only right they did something, somehow. If it were her lying there rotting on the ground, she would have wanted someone to do the same for her.

But at the same time, Paulo was right. They didn't have shovels, and they did need to leave this place, soon. Meera was getting restless already, thinking of the potential killers who had heard the sound of the collars exploding.

"I don't think we have the tools, yeah. Maybe...we could do something else for them?"

Meera had no idea what that would be, but she looked to Rosemary and Paulo for ideas.

Thinking of Paulo made Meera wonder what his plans were. She'd assumed he planned to come with them, at least before Joey's collar blew. She hoped he planned to stick around.

"Paulo. You with us now?" she asked him.

[MrMissMrs Random†]

Rosemary bit her lip. It was stupid of her to think they would have time to give Becca and Joey a funeral. But the thought of all the terrorists or people watching them would see or remember about them was the bodies made her feel sick.

Wait. Rosemary began to walk towards the record store. She wanted to look away from the bodies, but knew that doing that would be just saving herself more pain. I caused this. So it's my duty to try and make it so this won't be what the people remember. I can't avert my eyes away from the truth.

Holding tightly onto her knife, she made her way through the store, careful not to step on blood or gore that marked the floor, until she saw it. Up in the corner closest to the counter was a camera. A red light blinking from the lens made it clear that it was on. Doing this, she walked back out to Meera and Paulo, who were talking.

"I found where the camera is in the shop. I was thinking that we could say a few words about Becca and- and Joey before we go, since we can't give them a proper burial."

Looking down, she saw her knife. It was still covered in blood, and a chill went through her looking at it. She bent down to wipe it on the side of her leg clean, before putting the handle back as she talked.

"Y-you guys don't have to, but this is something I need to do. If I don't make it off this island, I need to pay my respects to their families."

Her hands tightened on the now sheathed weapon, hoping that the two would understand why she had to talk.

[Outfoxd]

Paulo almost wanted to say "Fuck y'all, I got shit to do and people to find." But in light of everything, he couldn't find his voice. At least not that one.

"Yeah." Is what he settled for. Being alone didn't seem to be in his best interest. And maybe he could give this whole helping other people out a second try. God knew he fucked up with Becca.

Then the other girl was coming back with a camera, acting like she wanted to give a eulogy. That was something he knew he couldn't do, not the way he was now.

"You go ahead, then." He said. He didn't want to bring up that none of them would probably make it o...

Fuck that.

[watcher in night†]

Meera didn't know what she could say to the camera. She wasn't exactly the most elegant speaker, and right now she was feeling shocked and angry. But she needed to honor their friend, who had helped hold their group together this far. This would be her last chance, after all. No one could know how long they themselves would last on this island now that their plan had utterly failed.

"I'm in," she said to Rosemary. "Let's do this."

There would, she thought, be time to consider their options later.

[MrMissMrs Random†]

Paulo said no, Meera said yes. The girl took another breath.

"Okay. We'll be quick." She replied, before turning around and walking back into the record store. When Ryan died, she wasn't allowed to go to the actual burial; and she barely remembered the Memorial service they had. This was completely different from that. Rosemary had seen both bodies, could say without a doubt they were dead. She used to hate not being able to see her brother one last time before he died, or even afterwards. Now she wondered if it was better that way, not knowing how people looked when they weren't people anymore with Becca and Joey.

What do I even say? She questioned, but her mind didn't give her a response, only the foreboding feeling of that it had to be done.

She looked straight up at the camera, letting out some air from her nose before starting.

"Becca Everett is the name of the girl who died in this room. She was an amazing basketball player, and driven to succeed in everything she did." Rosemary got out, trying to make sense of the snippets she remembered of the girl, trying to think up something worthwhile to say. "Becca was always friendly, and loved music as well; She-"

Rosemary paused. She couldn't think of anything else to say about the girl. They weren't close, and being in sports was the only factor they had in common, until the only way she could think of how to end it smoothly was to say what people already knew. "She was shot, and wouldn't have been if she hadn't been taken here. And because of this her life was cut short."

She paused for a bit, turning to look just outside where Joey's remains were. "And outside is my friend, Joey Caputo. Even though I only got to talk to him at school through tutoring him, he would have a smile on his face whenever I saw him and a big laugh to accompany it soon after. He helped us get through these days with the same enthusiasm he showed at school. Even when..."

Rosemary's lips formed a tight line as she tried to stop shaking. She had to finish what she said. She needed to let Joey's family know.

"When we first tried to get the collars off with Becca after she died and it f-failed, Joey said he would do it. And-a-and when we knew we weren't going to get the collar off him he told us not to give up. He believed even up until the last moment that there's a way to get out of here. And-"

Tears had started to come out as a lump formed in her throat. "And it's my fault that he's gone, when he should still be alive! And I'm so, so sorry..."

She couldn't say anymore without bawling again, and she didn't want to do that. It was enough, and she didn't want to give any terrorists who were watching the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

[Outfoxd]

Paulo figured it best to stay outside of the record store while Rosemary did her thing, following the old advice that if you didn't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. He regretted now not remember much about Becca other than she was attractive, and she actually wanted his company.

Come to think of it, that was something in himself. Other putas didn't seem to want to have anything to do with him. Felt like a load of bullshit, really.

He waited a little while after Rosemary went in before he looked at Meera.

"You think it's your turn yet?"

[watcher in night†]

Meera took a deep breath before answering Paulo.

"Yeah. My turn," she said, then followed Rosemary inside. Her friend had finished speaking and exited the building, leaving Meera alone with the bodies. She had no idea what she planned to say to the camera, alone in the dark, where no one else could hear. No idea what she could say to make it better.

She stood silent for a time, thinking.

There was nothing. Even if she'd been the most skilled orator, nothing could make up for the loss of Becca and Joey's lives. She hadn't really known either of them long, but no human being deserved to die a pointless death on the island like this. Becca had been shot needlessly, and Joey had died in a futile escape attempt.

It was pointless, thought Meera bitterly. Their entire plan, the idea they could subvert the system somehow, was pointless. Escape was impossible, and the collars couldn't be removed. To try again would be suicidal. There was no way their small group could beat the terrorists at their game, and it would accomplish nothing but a pile of bodies.

She realized her heart had sped up, and was hammering against her chest. She felt like a cornered animal, trapped in on all sides by the players of this deadly game.

I'm not going to survive.

Meera's hand moved to her pocket, and she drew Joey's curved knife. It gleamed with silver and deadly light. She turned and looked directly into the camera, wondering even if she should say anything at all. She wondered if the terrorists, or people back home, were watching her right now.

She felt as though Joey had been telling her to survive with his last breath. Telling all of them to live. If she died now, then his death was all in vain.

But there's no way to escape, she thought. The terrorists are too good, we're just a bunch of highschoolers. We never had a chance. It's play by their rules, or die.

She didn't want to play by their rules. She didn't want to die.

Find another way, Joey had said.

"There is no other way," Meera said, quietly.

The camera stared back at her, and she felt in that moment its lens was peering into her soul. Almost like it knew what she would do.

"Guys, I'm sorry," said Meera, speaking, for what it was worth, to Becca and Joey. "We couldn't get to Becca in time, so she died. And Joey lost his life in a hopeless escape plan. We were trying to beat the system, and it didn't work like we thought it would. Even if I didn't cut the collar, I'm just as guilty for not interfering. I killed him by saying nothing.

"But I'm not going to die. You died for us and because of our plan, Joey, and told us to find another way to live. And for what it's worth, I'm going to find one, or die trying. No matter what it takes."

Meera wanted to leave it at that, before she got too annoyed with herself for turning what was meant to be a eulogy for Joey and Becca into some kind of declaration for herself. But she felt she had to add one more thing before she left, since for all she knew this would be her last chance to speak to the camera directly.

"Mom, Dad, Amir, Brian, Mel, I'm sorry. For what I've done, and what I'm going to do. If I don't survive this, then I went down fighting. I love you all."

Meera waited for a time there in silence. It felt appropriate, to give one final honor to the dead. The crushing guilt she felt at the way their plan had failed threatened to overwhelm her as she thought of Joey, but she quickly turned away from the camera. She wasn't going to let them see her cry. She had to look strong. Stronger then she felt.

Making sure she was dry-eyed, Meera took several deep breaths. Then she walked out of the building, to where Paulo and Rosemary were waiting.

"Ready," she said.

[MrMissMrs Random†]

Rosemary nodded, picking up her bag and taking one last look at the record store. She would probably never come back here, if she died. Right now, she was okay with that. If she wallowed among the dead too long she would get closer and closer to becoming one of them.

Remember what Joey said. She thought to herself. Keep it in your memory for as long as you live.

She could never screw up like she had here again.

"Let's get moving; see who and what we can find." She said to Meera and Paulo.

((Rosemary Michaels continued to Tender Is the Night))

[Outfoxd]

The course of action decided, Paulo shouldered his pack and grabbed his weapon. He briefly reconsidered heading back in there himself and paying some kind of respect to Becca; short time knowing her or not, she had been kind of cool. He kept his eyes ahead, anyway. He told himself it was because it wouldn't look good for him to get all emotional and shit. He knew anyway it was because he didn't want to face what he'd been trying to not think about for the past length of time.

"Long as it's better than whatever we fucking found here," he said, some of the faux-Brazilian accent creeping back into his words. This time, however, it was half-hearted.

Paulo followed on Rosemary's heels.

((Paulo Abbate continued elsewhere))

[watcher in night†]

Meera had to agree with Paulo, she was up for anything as long as it was better than what they'd found today. Whatever happened, though, she was sure she'd never come back to this place again. Too many fresh wounds, too many things she'd rather forget.

Still, she felt strangely regretful that they were leaving. Once they left Joey behind, it made his death irrevocable. Even now Meera still expected him to come running out of the building after them, telling them this was all some kind of sick joke. But once they left him behind he'd be truly gone forever.

They were clearly ready to get going. Resolutely, Meera turned away from the building for the final time, then walked away.

She did not look back.

((Meera Stele continued elsewhere))