The Mind of Angelic Ones

A Peek into Serenity's Mind

Being a coastal town, a long strip of beach occupies Highland Beach's western shoreline. Lifeguard towers are set up at various locations to keep the oceans safe for all to swim in. The terrain varies by location, ranging from miles and miles of flat sand to jagged rock formations. There's a boardwalk along parts of the beach with many tourist shops. After all, how else would they rake in the cash?
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Mitsuko2†
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The Mind of Angelic Ones

#1

Post by Mitsuko2† »

((Continued from Friday Night by Candlelight))

I used to think I could live forever....

She stared up at the endless black sky with miserable, hopeless eyes; deep blue orbs brimming with hot tears that glisten and sparkle in the dull glow emanating from the full moon. Each salty teardrop slowly makes its way down her despondent face, leaving behind it a damp trail of liquid pain, blending in with the seemingly thousands before it. They also were unintentional; she was not prepared for them either.

She pulled her shaky knees up to her chest and she wraped her thin, trembling arms around them in an attempt to make herself feel protected, secure.

But, of course, it didn't work.

She simply buried her heavy head in her knees. Feeling the nausea slowly ebbing away. Feeling the beating pulse of the excruciating pain fade into a dull, annoying pang of less-than-demanding existence. It does not command her full attention anymore, so she is free to think. She is free to wish to rid herself of the sick taste in her mouth, free to wish that she wasn't in an enormous amount of pain, and free to feel vindictive anger racing through her veins with such a speed that she fears she might explode.

She wished desperately that she could hide away from the world forever. Hide away from their adoring, hopeful eyes. Away from their fictitious stares.

From everything.

But she couldn't.

When the dark night, with it's calming cool breeze and starry sky, ends and she is forced to go back inside, to her own personal hell once again, the fight begins. And she always loses.

Always priding herself on being strong, untouchable, unbreakable, she fears the latest string of events, if it is repeated, will eventually break her to an unrepairable extent. She tries to promise herself that it will never happen, but nothing in her life is ever certain. She knows she will never be the same, and yet she yearns to return to the time when she was strong, when it wasn't necessary to put up a disgustingly fake facade of smiles and hollow laughs to fool them.

Fooling them to think that the depression, the sadness and the resentful, malevolent anger is not ever present, dominating her world.

No one seems to notice. Either she's just that great an actress, or they're just that dumb.

She really didn't care either way. This life has not broken her. It has made her stronger. She no longer cares what they think of her, but she cares what she thinks of herself and she most certainly cares for all of the missing pieces that she can never put back together. She doesn't understand life. She doesn't understand why everything hurts. She doesn't understand why... She doesn't understand anything.

She can remember once, from a long, long time ago, as if from another distant lifetime, that she came out here with her mother, hand in hand. She can remember how safe and protected and content she felt, as if it had only been yesterday. A far-off, distant, longing-for-the-past kind of yesterday. And yet it is so vivid in her mind's eye.

She can vaguely call up to memory that one blissful time when she comfortably sat in her mother's lap, listening to her gently hum the beautiful song of a lullaby that now, seems to have slipped her mind. But she can faintly hear the lost music being carried through the breeze, taunting her unintentionally, riding high above the wind, then disappearing without a trace.

It can stay in the dark, unknown crevices of her mind, mocking her, but it will never come back out into the open. She knows she cannot ever get it back.

From somewhere beside her, somewhere inside the now dark, unforgiving woods where she used to play as a child, under the multicolored canopy of trees with the bright sun dappling down, she hears an indistinct sound. She looks up through wide, bright eyes. Her long lashes sweep down, and she glances in the general vicinity of the noise. Then it comes again and the colorful leaves rustle softly, as if giving her a warning. Time to leave. Time to save herself. It is the slightest sound, but she knows something is there, and she can almost guarantee that it knows she is there, too.

The leaves rustle again, and a twig snaps.

Did she really hear a growl, or was that her imagination?

She can feel fear flood through her veins all at once, and the panic nearly makes her head swim, but she stays.

Go ahead, come and kill me, She thinks audaciously, her eyes narrowing with unconcealed, vindictive fury. Go right ahead.

She is silently daring it to come, daring it to prove to her that she really doesn't care either way, if she lives another day or not.
Or maybe by some chance she's just waiting for something to nearly kill her, to nearly catch her; make her think differently about life. Make her value it. Think of what she'll be missing if she's permanently erased from the face of the earth.

She waits and nothing happens.

"Fuck you," She hisses angrily, instantly getting to her feet, her long, raven black hair whipping harshly around her angry face from the wind. It hurts to walk, as if she is a massive ball of pain that might fall apart at any given second, but she pushes through it without a second thought. What other choice is there? What else has she ever done?

She goes slowly, deliberately back to her beach sanctuary, as if to prove to herself, that she is fully capable of still walking. Though her entire body is unbearably and dizzyingly sore, she will not falter. She hates being weak. Vulnerability is a luxury she cannot afford.
Never again.

She relishes the feeling of blatant, unrestrained fear as she waits for something unknown to pounce on her from behind. The feeling of apprehension almost makes her turn around to check her back.

Almost.

And when she makes it to the beach unscathed, she turns back and stares out into the night, her eyes sparkling with hatred towards something in particular, wishing desperately that she could slowly ebb into nothingness and disappear forever, with nothing left to tie her down to the nightmare she calls her life.

But things are never just that easy, are they?

She steps onto the sands noiselessly, feeling unsettled and fatigued, both physically and emotionally. She longs for the silent, comforting sound of nothingness. Melodious nothingness.

Serenity Halos felt herself fall onto the sands softly, the scars under her sleeves pounding with seething agony. She knew the feeling of pain wouldn't disappear, and yet that made her slightly happy.

It lets me know I'm alive...

Now I find myself waiting for the sky to crack...



((Open to anyone))
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Namira
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#2

Post by Namira »

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Rhythmical beats, not musical and you wouldn't expect them to be either. If anybody reached the right conclusion, it would be that someone was running along at a steady; though rather fast pace. Somebody near at hand might also hear the runner's measured breathing, with no trace of tiredness in it. He might have been asleep, that was just how steady it was.

Bobby Jacks usually enjoyed his nighttime runs along the stretch of beach. They gave him time to think away from the hustle and bustle of other people. The fitness benefits were kept in mind too, although for somebody who spent as much time in the gym as Bobby, those were almost negligible.

Nevertheless, the time it took for Bobby to complete his run was marked down as his much cherished thinking time. Unfortunately, he'd had a lot on his mind lately, so he wasn't finding these runs as much fun (insomuch as they were fun) as usual. For one thing, he had been trying to secure a renewal of his boxing contract, and the agent his father had insisted on hiring was demanding more money. He thought Bobby was 'worth more than that,'. Bobby couldn't care less about the cash, he just wanted to box. The net result of these factors was that the society was delaying on a decision and Bobby's relationship with both his agent and his father were quite strained.

Not only that, but for some reason Bobby just couldn't get the night of the bonfire out of his head. Had Darnell not intervened, Bobby could have been in serious trouble right now. It wasn't exactly likely that the victor of Bobby vs. Tyson and Troy 'Mac' would have been the latter two. Bobby could pick Tyson up with one hand, and had done so previously, and Troy wasn't exactly a muscle-bound tough guy. Still, he had to admit, Troy had guts, but he suspected that his involvement in the incident hadn't been entirely accidentally.

So preoccupied was Bobby in his brooding that he didn't see Serenity until he was almost on top of her. By chance he happened to look down just at the right moment. Oh damn. Bobby jumped akwardly, leaping over the girl lying on the sand and falling heavily the other side of her. Ouch. Well... at least I didn't stamp on her, that would have been embarassing.

Bobby hesitated, unsure of what to do. Talking to another person was a little alien to him; that was just how long he'd isolated himself for. However, it was clear to him something was up with Serenity, he was sure there were tears on her face.

"Serenity," Bobby said quietly. "Are you alright?"
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Mitsuko2†
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#3

Post by Mitsuko2† »

Serenity didn't realize that there was someone on the beach with her until he jumped over her prone body. She shot up in fear and looked for the intruder of her nighttime paradise. Her eyes fell upon the well muscled and sweaty form of Bobby Jacks. She stared at him for a while, and he stared back, both felling quite awkward about the situation.

It wasn't that she didn't like Bobby, she spoke with him from time to time, it was just the fact that no one ever really saw her when she was this way.

The awkward silence continued for a short while more, before Bobby decided to speak up. He asked her if she was okay. She heard the sincerity in his voice, but that too could just be another fictitious feeling. None of them ever really cared... she was sure of that much.

"Oh... Yes, I'm fine! Sorry if I tripped you there Bobby." She said a bit too cheerily. She didn't really want to talk to someone right now, but it wasn't as if she really had a choice. She pulled on her sleeves slightly, making sure they were covering the scars that only she and her family had seen.

After all, she had to keep up her Sweet innocent girl image... It was the only thing she'd ever done.
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#4

Post by Namira »

It sure had been an awkward situation, and even after Bobby broke the silence it didn't seem to get any less so. Even more strangely, neither did her reply. There was something about it that didn't quite ring true, it sounded... false somehow, and Bobby was almost certain Serenity had been crying. Eyes a little wet, and a little red too. Well if she said she was fine then Bobby wasn't going to pry.

Pausing for just a moment too long after Serenity spoke, Bobby shrugged and made his own apology, deciding after a moment or two to sit down beside her.

"It's alright. My fault really, I didn't think there'd be anybody out here so I wasn't looking where I was going. No harm done I guess," Bobby wasn't so sure that was true. He knew he hadn't touched her, and falling onto your knee on a beach didn't hurt much. But the way she'd bolted upright like that... Inwardly Bobby shook himself, he was reading waay too much into things. He needed to be more social, he supposed that now would be a good time to start.

Bobby absently brushed a little sand off of his knee beneath the leg of his running shorts ((English sense)) and wondered whether his vague suspicion had been correct. In all honestly despite the glimmer in her eyes, Serenity seemed quite composed, although you had to wonder at her being out on the beach at this time of night. Bobby smiled to himself; he was out too, it wasn't all that odd.
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#5

Post by Mitsuko2† »

Serenity grimaced inwardly when Bobby sat beside her. She really didn't want to talk at the moment. Then again, Bobby hardly talked, so maybe they could just sit in comfortable silence for a while. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. She really loved being out here in the darkness of the night. You didn't have to be fake. You could just be you. That was something she longed for in the abusive light of the day.

She peered through the corners of her eyes at her companion. He seemed to be lost in thought. Better for her really. She wasn't so much up for having a deep conversation right now.

"Y'know... the night always makes me feel calm... always like I can't be touched..." She felt herself saying before she could stop herself.
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#6

Post by Namira »

Bobby gave Serenity a curious glance, his expression unreadable, not quite blank, but not enough of a suggestion to discern what he was thinking. At least, that was what Bobby hoped. It threw him to think that people might be as good at reading others as he was. He considered that to be one of his best skills, picked up from many hours of playing the observer.

Bobby wasn't entirely sure what to make of what Serenity said, for some reason it seemed as if she was almost saying it to herself. Nevertheless Bobby felt obliged to say something, but every response that came to mind he dismissed as somehow innane. Bobby paused for a few moments longer.

"If that makes you feel calm... well then... are you hiding from something?" Yourself? Bobby added silently, though he considered that to be a little too deep. And rather depressing at that.
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#7

Post by Mitsuko2† »

Serenity shot a bemused glance in his direction. She turned her head to look out at the crashing waves. Hiding? Was she indeed Hiding from something? No, she was Hiding from someone... she was Hiding from that person who made her feel this way.

"Hiding? Maybe.... The real question is... how do you stop?" She chuckled slightly and flopped back onto the sand. She allowed herself to be vulnerable, for just that one instant. It was something that would never happen again, but for now, that was alright.

"How do you stop Hiding from yourself?" She felt a single tear drip from her left eye and she closed them slowly. If only this was her entire world. Right here, right now, on this beach, forever.

She could live like that.
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#8

Post by Namira »

"Good question," Bobby said softly, regarding Serenity for second or two, then joining her in looking back out to sea. In a way, wasn't he hiding too? Certainly he was reclusive but so far as hiding? This little beach run had given him far more food for thought than he would otherwise have considered.

Bobby glanced over at Serenity again. Although he felt awkward in most social situations; this one included, he felt it might not be the best idea to bring up why she was crying. It risked further upsetting her. Or did it? Bobby frowned, this was most vexing, he hated indecision.

"Well..." Bobby said, choosing his words carefully as he went on. "Whenever I've been afraid, I've always tried to take whatever I was afraid of head on. It was funny, because once or twice I took a huge beating, but afterwards... I wasn't scared anymore,"
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#9

Post by Ciel† »

((Madison Conner continued from Run On Forever))

Even though nighttime in Highland Beach always had a slight chill in the air, the sand tonight was feeling rather warm, like if the sun was still out. Madison only took a second's notice of this detail as she continued to jog along the beach without any real reason whatsoever. Her pace started to lessen, her own breath doing the exact opposite. She slowed to a halt, her legs shaking like crazy. I... feel... so... She moved her hands to her knees, gripping them as the lithe brunette gasped for anything that resembled air (hell, at this point, she would have wanted to breathe some helium into her system). As she tried to regain her composure, Madison started to wonder why she wanted to do something like running along the beach in the first place. I need some sleep., she thought to herself. I should just head back. This was a bad idea from the beginning.

As Madison's panting started to lessen, she looked up slowly, scanning the whole beach. Where... am I? The girl had never went this far along the beach before (in fact, she never even thought the beach ran this far). The part she had just stopped at seemed rather different than what the beach near Oceanview Terrace looked like.

Madison finally started to breathe normally again, but stopped herself as she was about to stand up straight. She knelled back down to the sand, the shadows from a wide palm tree camouflaging her body. I-is someone there? she said in her head. I just thought I heard someone say something. Desperately, the girl scanned the whole beach again a second time, a bombardment of violent imagery taking control over her mind. Oh god... I hope someone hasn't been following me...

She soon noticed where these sounds were coming from. The brunette could make out two figures about a few meters from her. Madison wasn't completely 100% sure, and even when she squinted her eyes, she could only see the outlines of the figures, who looked to be laying on the sand, just sitting there, talking. Madison pressed her back against the palm tree, trying her damn best not to get caught. A small sweatdrop falling down her face. Oh, god... This is a bad position to be in. If they find me now, they'll think I'm some kind of perverted stalker, or something. Oh, man... I can't let them see me. I have to stay still.

From the angle she was at, she couldn't make out the faces of the two, but as Madison tilted her head forward just a tiny bit, she caught a good glimpse of a face. Something seemed to ring in Madison's head as she stared. Is that... Serenity. Serenity. Out of all the students in Southridge, Madison could only remember just a few of them. Serenity was one of those people, which made alot of sense, because she WAS one of the most popular kids in high school. Madison could distinctly remember feeling rather jealous of Serenity, but what girl wouldn't? After all, where ever Serenity seemed to go, a crowd of people seemed to high-tail it after her. Madison always wished, for the short time she's been attending Southridge, that she could have been in the cheerleader's position: To be the favor in the eyes of the whole school, instead of being seen as a shy, quiet girl. At this point in time, however, Madison couldn't help but think that there was something wrong.

Is she... crying? The brunette could hear Serenity, and even though her voice was too low for Madison to understand what she was saying to the person opposite her, Madison still felt the hopelessness in the tone of her voice. It just struck a chord inside of her, and she just... knew there was something wrong with the other girl. Madison couldn't fathom why - Serenity always seemed like a happy, playful kind of girl. Slowly, Madison started to move her whole body around the palm tree and, as quietly as she could, she slinked over to another palmtree, this one closer to Serenity and the other kid. Trying to get a better reception of what they were speaking about, Madison pressed her back against the palmtree, her head peaking out (but not too far out) of the side. Gotta keep still. Can't let them see you, Madison. They might not be too happy about it.
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#10

Post by Mitsuko2† »

Serenity looked towards Booby. He was surprisingly making her feel a hell of a lot better than she felt before. She shook her head lightly, as if to clear her thoughts. She didn't like being caught in these situations. He made sense. Something she'd been lacking for quite a while.

"Take it head on, eh? Oh yeah, that might work with fistfights and classwork.... but not with this... This is something far more important." She sighed and unconsciously began to rub the burning areas on her arms, where the scars from her cuts were.

((Continued in Easy Like Sunday Morning))
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#11

Post by Namira »

Bobby quieted for a little while after Serenity spoke; just as he had done before. It took him, and always had taken him, some time to pick out the right words when he was dealing with important instances. When he was interviewed by a reported following his win of that local tournament, he was pretty sure he'd come across as stupid; taking so long to answer. Typical jock.

"I heard somewhere that the worst thing you can do with your feelings, or maybe even fears, is bottle them up. People need other people, even me, and I spend most of my time keeping away from them." Bobby shrugged, his muscles shifting around at the movement. "I don't claim to be a physchologist, but I'm pretty sure putting on a face is bad for you," Bobby chuckled ironically. "Look at where hiding my feelings got me; not a friend in the world..." Bobby refrained from adding that, until recently, that hadn't bothered him.

((Continued in Round One, Fight Four; Bobby vs. Darnell))
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Ciel†
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#12

Post by Ciel† »

Madison could only let out a sigh. Hmm... whatever Serenity is going through must be stressful. She really sounds... like she has no one to turn to... The girl closed her eyes for a moment. I should be thankful that I have such a great life. A mother who loves me, friends that care about me and my wellbeing... Yeah... a great life. That's right. I should be glad. Seeing no point in staying around, Madison picked herself up, rising to her feet, I better leave the two of them alone. I guess my curiosity got the better of me there. Making sure that she doesn't draw too much attention to herself, Madison jogged in the opposite direction of which she came. It took her a minute for something to click inside of her mind. Wait... where am I again? she thought to herself.

Over the distance, Madison noticed the street lights from the boardwalk. Madison smiled, and headed for the pier as quickly and silently as she could. Ahh, good. I'll just walk down the boardwalk, and head back home. Wow. Luck is really on my side tonight.

((Madison continued in Melancholy))
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