come on, superman, say your stupid line

[Fenris]

>> Time passed.

Like molasses. Sticky and slow. Every footstep had the sole of Axel's still-wet shoes sticking to the ground. Metaphorically, not literally, it would be weird if it was literally, but maybe it was literally, maybe there was blood drying there even though there wasn't, maybe the blood was metaphorical too. Leaving footprints. Stuck to his hands. That sort of stuff. He wasn't making any sense which was okay because nothing made any sense and it probably wouldn't ever again.

It was this specific kinda slow that he could compare to waiting for test results or getting a "we need to talk" text and then being left on read if he wanted to but neither of those things were ever going to happen to him again anyway. It was a my-best-friend-just-died kinda slow. Breathing-only-because-your-body-won't-let-you-stop kinda slow. Just-keep-swimming-but-through-mud kinda slow.

Nothing happened all day. Nothing at all. Footsteps and stony silence. Abe tried to start conversations a couple of times. He gave up before too long.

When night finally fell it was Abe who reminded him that they should do watch shifts which felt kind of pointless because it wasn't like he was going to sleep but whatever. Abe seemed okay. Of course he seemed okay. Why would Abe give a shit? Probably good for them that someone didn't, someone had to paddle above the surface, someone had to drag the two of them up for air. He'd done an okay job. Axel had kept walking. Hel hadn't shot themself. Axel had been absolutely fucking terrified of Hel shooting themself.

Abe took first watch. Axel stared into space for however many hours and then it was his turn to do the same thing but officially this time.

Sitting in the dark.

He could hear Hel's breathing behind him, shallow. He hoped they got some sleep. He doubted it.

Leaves rustled. The wind whistled through the branches and maybe he should be paranoid, now, but it wasn't like things could get worse outside of him dying which was going to happen one of these days either way so what the fuck did it matter. He was so tired, this stupid, bone-deep tired that weighed him down but wouldn't let him shut his eyes.


He opened his mouth, instead.


"My head was warm, my skin was soaked, I called your name 'til the fever broke. When I awoke, the moon still hung. The night so black that the darkness hums."

His singing voice was creaky but familiar.

He'd lied. Things could get worse. Of course they could get worse. Hel was right there behind him and he knew they were this close to self-destructing on a good day and now their brother was dead and he was supposed to do something about it, say something clever and make them smile again.

"I raised myself, my legs were weak. I prayed my mind be good to me. An awful noise filled the air. I heard a scream in the woods somewhere."

They'd held hands while they walked. It was all he could stand to do. There wasn't a good it'll be okay or it'll get better or even a let me help because what the fuck was he, he was just some guy, just some asshole, he loved them and he loved him but he didn't have what they had together, it wasn't the same, he wasn't the same.

"A woman's voice, I quickly ran, into the trees with empty hands. A fox it was, he shook afraid. I spoke no words, no sound he made.

He was supposed to be better than this but he wasn't. He was supposed to help but he wasn't. Abe'd done more for Hel today than he had. He'd reminded them both to eat when Axel'd forgotten.

"His bone exposed, his hind was lame, I raised a stone to end his pain. What caused the wound, how large the teeth? I saw new eyes were watching me."

He should have died first. Andy could have held them together.

"The creature lunged, I turned and ran, to save a life I didn't have."

He didn't want to die.

"Dear, in the chase, there as I flew, forgot all prayers of joining you."

Maybe he'd snap out of it eventually. Maybe he'd be something like himself again eventually, if he had time, which he probably wouldn't, because it wasn't like his luck had been great so far. It felt good, singing. It was something. It was selfish. Someone could hear him and follow his voice to their camp and he didn't really care because if it was the only thing he had he had to take it. It was such a stupid little thing and if it got him killed he'd laugh.

"I clutched my life and wished it kept. My dearest love, I'm not done yet."

He was so tired.

"How many years that I won't bear..."

Andy would kill him if he gave up.

"...I found something in the woods somewhere."



But he'd failed.

It'd be nice to say "he was failing" cause that would make it sound like he could un-fuck this thing somehow but nah. He'd failed. It was over.

>> In the morning they'd get up and they'd do it all again.