Kenton Zinn

[Deblod100]

Name: Kenton "Spookr8ma" Zinn
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Hobbies and Interests: Video Gaming, CR Laser Tag, The Supernatural, Horror Media, Experimental Music.

Appearance: Kenton's Avatar stands at about 5'7 feet tall and weighs around 170 lbs. In Meatspace, Kenton's actual height is 5'5 and his weight is 140 lbs. In real life, Kenton has short bushy black hair that he keeps short, a pair of almond-shaped brown eyes, and wears a pair of reading glasses for his sight. He has a straight nose and a wide mouth with pale pink lips. He has a white skin tone and a skinny body. Kenton tends to wear hoodies and jeans whenever he's outside in public, though he is reduced to grey pajamas when he is at home on CR.

Kenton's Avatar is an inversion of his real self. Kenton's build contains visible lean muscle at his chest, arms, and legs for usage in competitive laser tag and other e-sports. Despite his lean muscles, his physical stats are reduced to his real-life physical capabilities within the school servers, making his muscles part of his avatar's aesthetic. His skin tone is white, and paler than his real-life counterpart, where his hair is a grey color, with the left side of his head being shaved partially, his other side in a short, spiky style. Kenton's eye color has changed to fluorescent green, along with his teeth appearing as sharp teeth. His fingernails are also longer to be like sharp claws. Kenton's voice was also modified to sound more deeper than his Meatspace self, since the latter has a higher-pitched voice in contrast with his Avatar's. Any resemblance to Kenton's real-life self can be seen in his similar facial features.

Kenton's Avatar clothing consists of a black cloak with a green LED circuit board-themed inner lining with a hood that goes over his head. He wears a tight black vest and black pants, where he has a green tie that matches his eye color, along with a shirt and sneakers that has a black and green pattern of skulls. To show his allegiance to the Omega Squad, Kenton wears a red sash wrapped around his left wrist with a glowing red Omega symbol.

His backpack is neon green and black striped with a symbol of a cartoon ghost on the front, which has a glow-in-the-dark green outline.

Background: Kenton Zinn was born in Fremont, California to Wade and Molly Zinn. Both parents were involved in white-collar jobs at separate companies with Wade Zinn working as a sales manager at a car dealership, while Molly Zinn worked as an accountant. When CR was introduced, while Kenton was still in kindergarten, their white-collar jobs were upgraded to include CR technology. Wade Zinn would sell customized cars, due to his company's move to CR, along with Molly being given a virtual office for her accounting job.

Kenton would be hands-on with video games that were exclusively in the Meatspace, given to him during Christmas. His first collection of video games was made by Nintendo, like the Super Mario games, along with Mario Kart. It would be around the time of elementary school when Kenton was given his first dosage of CR when he was 9 years old. Kenton lacked the athletic abilities that many of his other classmates would have within the Meatspace, but when it came to Cyberspace, Kenton would see advantages that he never considered. He could be able to possess physical strength that can easily be achieved within CR, along with being open to a community that shares information to make him develop a sense of virtual "street smarts".

Around the time of 4th and 5th grade, Kenton would find himself getting a hold of an old copy of Alvin Schwartz's Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, sparking his interest in horror. While it started from horror literature, Kenton would begin watching horror movies and even playing horror games, either using CR or by using his computer, including other resources in the Meatspace. Since Kenton lived within San Jose, due to his parent's jobs, one of the hotspots that he would go to, usually during spring or summer break, was the Winchester Mystery House. The Winchester Mystery House was a reportedly haunted house that that Kenton knew about after watching the movie Winchester, which he found to be terrible. Despite this, he would learn that the attraction was within his area, and he managed to convince his parents to visit. Becoming involved with the Winchester House, Kenton would believe that the mansion was haunted, despite its eccentricity and disputed legends.

Kenton would end up back at the Mystery House during one cold night, due to a field trip to the mansion wrapping up in the 5th grade. Just before Kenton left with the rest of his class, he saw something in one of the windows of the building. A white distorted figure, which could be brushed off as a staff member, filled Kenton's superstition in the belief of the supernatural.

Kenton's horror interests would inspire his aesthetic in dressing in darker clothing, which, while not overly gothic, reflected the gloomy side that gave him a sense of standing out. Kenton also borrowed some of his CR Avatar's clothing style from cybergoth culture, even though he didn't see himself as a part of the culture. Later in his middle school days, he managed to find two bands that he liked, which were Death Grips and 100 gecs. Despite being niche, Kenton found himself enjoying the experimental aspects of the bands, delving more into other bands.

Kenton began to become a fan of first-person shooters within the Meatspace when he was 11 years old, finding more action in the gameplay he was given. While he preferred playing FPSs, the restrictions on CR would reject games deemed "ego-shooters" that could have been more immersive with the usage of virtual reality in Kenton's beliefs. That didn't stop him from still playing "kid-friendly" ego-shooters that were made to not provoke violence. His interests went towards laser tag that could be played on CR. Kenton began to play on laser tag servers when he was 12, but he would gain more experience and skill over the years to be an avid gamer in the sport.

Around his freshmen year, Kenton was beginning to struggle with a problem that had already been plaguing him, starting at the age of 13. He found some confliction in his identity, finding himself unable to see himself in the way that he was within Meatspace. He found it uncomfortable in appearing feminine to his classmates and he began to attempt to hang out with other boys. His only way to cope was with the technology of CR, changing himself easily to what he desired. He began to get frustrated at not conforming to how he viewed himself in CR, becoming depressed. Back in Meatspace, Kenton ended up revealing his thoughts to his parents when he was 15. He had identified himself as a trans male, which he made clear.

With his image being changed to socially transition, both in Cyberspace and the real world, he was trying to build more bridges. Kenton set his Avatar to be male when he first enrolled in Sycamore High School. The public knowledge of his trans identity ended up in the school's hands during his enrollment. Kenton would believe that his Meatspace life was far from the escapism of his CR counterpart, which caused some rooted insecurity that he would be looked down on for his lack of athletic and social skills, which he fully had back in Cyberspace.

His parents had put him on HRT treatment, starting in the late spring of his junior year, so that he could begin to transition. He had undergone the cessation of menses early at 2 months, where he would gain body hair within 6 months. He has yet to undergo surgery, since he is still under HRT. He is expected to go through top surgery a few months after he is supposed to graduate from school. To help with his dysphoria, he would use CR to be what he felt like and what he wanted to be in real life.

During his high school days, he fell in line with a group of kids that were popular within CR, known as the "Omega Squad". Kenton had crossed paths several times with some members in some of Kenton's laser tag games, but when he was recruited by them, Kenton felt that he had a chance to gain some popularity. Something that he believed he lacked in the Meatspace. When he learned that they were starting an e-sports team, Kenton made sure that he presented himself as valuable to his fellow clique members by showing off his skills in the usual laser tag games that he frequented, along with convincing some of them of his range of CR knowledge.

Kenton's sexuality is something that he focused on less, in favor of his gender identity. However, he saw himself as straight, though he knew that he needed to build up transparency, which he believed was lacking in CR. Despite this, he was willing to start a romantic relationship, however he doesn't know what his partner would resemble within the Meatspace. He is still looking for a relationship to start, despite his concerns.

Personality: In real life, Kenton Zinn is a socially awkward geek who wants to present himself in a different life in Cyberspace. He feels insecure about his true values on being desirable and important, so he wishes to be in a position where he can be admired and respected. Even though he is friends with the Omega Squad, he is divided on how he sees his clique members. While he isn't domineering completely over others, he does react snobby and egotistic towards several students who think negatively of him.

Reputation: Due to Kenton's heightened charisma from experience with CRs, Kenton has managed to fit in with the Omega Squad and other "cyberjocks" in his school. Kenton can come across as egotistic from him seeing himself as a "lieutenant" towards the Omega Squad, though he does have some friends outside of the clique, which whom he hangs out with. Ironically, Kenton considers some of his squad members to be "selling out", especially the leader of the Omega Squad, which Kenton was showing a polarized view directly at.

Kenton does have some favoritism towards him from other students and CR gamers since he's responsible for having a CR hangout location that he owns with admin controls that he styled as a horror-themed retro arcade, available for students and his fellow Omega Squad. Only a few close students know his trans identity, seeing it as more of a private matter, rather than just his parents and the school administration.

[Yonagoda]

Hi! Kenton’s profile is interesting, but needs a decent amount of grammatical corrections, as well as a bit more clarification on some subjects.

General comments: You have a lot of cases of redundant word usage, such as “His backpack is a neon green and black stripped (this should be spelled “striped”) backpack,” “the movie Winchester, which he found to be a terrible movie,” and “...the eccentric mansion and disputed legends, Kenton did believe that the mansion was haunted.” There are a few more examples of this, and it feels distracting.

Words that are ALL-CAPS represent those that should be changed or added for grammatical reasons.

Appearance section:

“Only two inches”

Feels a little unnecessary.

“He has a Caucasian skin tone with his skinny body, showing body fat within his gut” I think this is too vague; “Caucasian” casts too wide of a net. Also, “with his skinny body”

is a tad awkward; something like “[skin tone here] and a skinny body” would work, though.

“His skin tone is more paler than his real-life counterpart, where a major difference is his hairstyle being a grey color”

There are a few grammatical errors in here; “more paler” is redundant, and so is “where a major difference is” is, since his natural hair color was already established.

“with his left side of his head being shaved partially, where his other side of in a short spiky position.”

In this case, “with the left side of his head…” and “his other side in…” would cut the unnecessary parts down.

“Kenton's eye color has changed to be a fluorescent green, along with his teeth appearing as sharp teeth. Kenton's own voice was also modified to sound more deeper than his Meatspace self, since the latter is more high-pitched. Any resemblance to Kenton's real life self can seen since in his similar facial features.”

Can you please clarify if Kenton’s voice is high-pitched in meatspace, only or relative to his avatar’s? And also, “any resemblance… can seen since” is grammatically incorrect and can be changed to “A resemblance… can be seen” or just “his avatar’s facial features resemble his face in real life.”

Biography section:

“Kenton would be hands-on with video games that WERE given to him during Christmas”

Can you please clarify what you mean by hands-on? As in they are played exclusively in meatspace, or just that he played video games a lot?

“It would be around the time of elementary school WHEN Kenton was given his first dosage of CR, when he was 9 years old.”

This sentence is a little grammatically awkward, the first “was” should be replaced with “that.” Or, you can scrape the part about elementary school all together, since you already specified his age at the time.

“Kenton would see advantages that he never considered.”

Please clarify what you meant by this.

“Kenton would become easily hands on with watching horror movies”

Again, I’m not exactly sure what you meant by “easily hands on.” I’m assuming that this just means he began watching horror movies and games as a hobby at this age, or something else? It’s not a term I’m familiar with when referring to hobbies.

“that was within Kenton's knowledge, after he would watch the movie Winchester, which he found to be a terrible movie.”

This part is a tiny bit convoluted- I'd personally suggest replacing it with “that Kenton knew about after watching the movie Winchester, which he found to be terrible.”

“Despite this and learning that it was within his area, he managed to convince his parents to make a visit.”

Because you bunched “despite this” and “within his area,” it sounded like you meant “despite the fact that it was within his area, which doesn’t make sense.

“Kenton would end up back at the mansion during one cold night, due to a field trip wrapping up in the 5th grade.”

Can you please clarify if the field trip was to the mansion?

“more darker clothing, which while not overly gothic,”

Should be changed to “Darker clothing, which, while not overly gothic,”

“Kenton borrowed some of his CR avatar's clothing on cybergoth culture, even though he was still dabbling in music…”

First of all, I’d assume you mean the general style and aesthetics of his avatar was borrowed from cybergoth culture? Second of all, you don’t have to mention the music part in conjunction with the cybergoth part, since it’s not seen as an explicitly music-based subculture.

“both Death Grips and 100 gecs.”

The “both” isn’t needed. “; Death Grips and 100 gecs” or “which were Death Grips and 100 gecs” would work.

“Kenton began to become a fan OF first-person shooters that were available on PC and other consoles…”

You don’t have to clarify where they are available. Also, if you don’t mind, specify why he was specifically into first-person shooters. I believe that “ego-shooters” only apply to shooters in Cyber, so theoretically, non-Cyber fps games wouldn’t suffer from the “kid-friendly” restriction, but if he values the Cyber medium over having a wider selection of games, then you can specify that.

“a problem that had already BEEN PLAGUING him.”

If you don’t mind, can you please add more details on how exactly he came to find out that his identity issues were the result of dysphoria? I’d just like to see more connection between the jump of “he felt uncomfortable with himself out of CR” and “He realized he was transgender.” This brings me to what you meant specifically by “with his image adjusted.” Do you mean that his image of himself changed after coming out as trans, or that he had begun to socially transition at the time?

“set his avatar to be male, when he”

the comma is unneeded.

“The public knowledge of his trans identity ended up in the school's hands and his parents.”

You already stated that he came out to his parents when he was fifteen; in this case, his parents would’ve known beforehand- is this a chronology issue, or did they choose not to tell him that they were aware of it already?

“his lack of athletic and social SKILLS”

“he COULD begin to transition.”

“but when he WAS recruited by them, Kenton felt that he had a chance to gain some power.”

Power is a little vague here. Do you mean popularity?

“Kenton made sure that he presented himself as valuable towards his fellow clique members.”

How so?

“Kenton's sexuality is something that he focused less, in favor of his gender identity, however he saw himself as straight, though he knew that he needed to build up transparency, which he believed was lacking in CR.”

This sentence is a little too long. Maybe split it into two sentences?

Reputation section:

“Kenton does have some favoritism towards him, since he's responsible for having a CR hangout location that Kenton styled as a horror-themed retro arcade, available for students and his fellow Omega Squad.”

First of all, favoritism from whom? Second of all, how was he responsible for the location?

“Only a few close students know his trans identity, seeing it more of a private matter, rather than just his parents and the school.”

You had previously stated that his trans identity “ended up in the hands of the school.” Did you mean the administration?

Let me know when you’ve made changes, and we’ll get to the next round of critiques, or approve this profile.

[Deblod100]

Added in some changes. I also removed a bit on NFTs that related to another character, due to a request from Fiori to maintain consistency.

[Yonagoda]

There are still a plethora of grammatical issues within this profile- I'm going to recommend that you put this through grammarly or some other app/service that does the same thing, just so that you don't have to comb through the profile by hand. With that said, the general idea and contents of the profile are pretty acceptable. A few things to note, however:

Kenton's build contains visible lean muscle at his chest, arms, and legs for usage in competitive laser tag and other e-sports.

Because of the nature of Cyber, the school's server most likely won't impliment any system that correlates muscle and strength. While this might be the case in other servers, such as those dedicated to e-sports, his muscular Avatar would be aesthetic in nature in the school's Cyber setting and won't serve much of a general purpose.

His skin tone is pale white than his real-life counterpart, where his hairstyle is a grey color, with the left side of his head being shaved partially, his other side in a short spiky position.

This quote is... kind of difficult to understand. For instance, "pale white than" should be "white, and paler than" because of the redundancy. "His hairstyle" should be changed to "his hair," and "short spiky position" isn't the right use of the world "position." Something like "a short, spiky style" could work.

Both parents were involved in white-collar jobs at separate companies which required the usage of CR technology. Wade Zinn worked at a CR online car dealership that sold customized cars, while Molly Zinn was given a virtual office for being an accountant.

CR has only started to be used publically in 2010. Can you please specify what their jobs were like before this, given that, with the current setting being in the early 2020s, CR wouldn't have been in use until years after Kenton's birth?

A small nitpick, but given that the profile is written chronologically, this would imply that Kenton was playing Splatoon before he was nine years old- that is, before the first Splatoon game released. Can you please either clarify the timeline or switch it out for another game?

Even from the eccentric mansion and disputed legends, Kenton did believe that the place was haunted.

Can you please clarify if this meant that Kenton believed the place was haunted because of the mansion's eccentricity and legends, or that he thought it was haunted despite said eccentricity and disputed legends?

Kenton also borrowed some of his CR avatar's clothing on cybergoth culture

maybe "avatar's clothing style" or "avatar's fashion" would work a bit better grammatically.

make new bridges.

I believe the term is "build more bridges" and not "make"

Words like "Avatar" should be capitalized.

Get back to me once you've made these changes, as well as corrected any grammatical errors you find, and I'll give it another look!

[Deblod100]

I've sent it through grammarly and the wringer. Try it out?

[Yonagoda]

Hi! So so sorry for being late about this one >.<

"Kenton tends to wear hoodies and jeans, whenever he's outside in public" The comma isn't needed, honestly.

"Kenton's Avatar is an inversion OF his real self"

"His fingernails are also grown longer to be like sharp claws." Nitpick, but the Avatar's appearance isn't "grown" organically.

"since the latter has a higher-pitched voice, in contrast with his Avatar's" unnessesary comma.

"Kenton began to become a fan of first-person shooters within the Meatspace, finding more action in the gameplay he was given." The term "began" implies that a specific time would be given- can you please state when exactly he started to focus on fps, specifically?

"He found a fault in his identity, finding himself unable to see himself in the way he was in Meatspace." Can you please elaborate on this and/or make it more grammatically comprehensible? I get the idea of what you're going for, but it's just a little hard to read.

"Socially transit" should be "socially transition."

Please elaborate more on his process of medically transitioning; getting HRT as a minor, even in California, can be an intensive process. I want you to be more clear about the process of his transition.

"were superior within CR" please make it more clear what exactly they are superior in- for instance, "were popular within CR" might be a better fit.

"Despite this, he was willing to start a romantic relationship, though he didn't know what his partner would resemble within the Meatspace." Were you perhaps trying to use the word "because" instead of "though" when talking bout his potential partner? Is his sexuality a particularly big part of him, or something that he thinks a lot about? Or is he currently in/looking for a relationship? If not, then you don't need to be that detailed about it.

"Kenton Zinn is a socially awkward geek, who wants to present himself in a different life in Cyberspace." don't need this comma.

"He feels insecure about his true values" Values, as in how valuable/desirable/important he is, or values as in someone's moral values?

"he becomes divided on how some of his clique members are seen." This should probably be "he is divided on how he sees his clique members," because this is pertaining specifically to HIS relationships with them.

"While he isn't dominating completely over others" Domineering is probably the word that you are looking for.

That's about it! Again, I'm sorry for the delay.

[Deblod100]

Here we go. Try it now?

[Yonagoda]

Approved