Spit Take

[KamiKaze]

((Nora Moriarty continued from Regrets, I’ve Had a Few))

She hated everyone.

She hated Orion for coming up to her and talking to them using their Gift. Show-off.
She hated Joel for being so protective.
She hated Lucine for finding out about what she did so easily.
She hated the terrorists for putting her in this situation.
She hated Spencer because she didn’t like the way he smoked all the time.
She hated Ms. Duffy because this trip was her idea.
She hated the principal because he’d complain about small noises.
She hated Lily because she waved her illusions in everyone’s faces, as if it didn’t hurt others.
She hated Mercedes for being just as protective.
She hated Kyle because he was so depressing.
She hated Austin for being passive-aggressive.
She hated Javier for being so defensive.
She hated Kaine for being so quiet (was she a hypocrite?).
She hated Jenelle because she insulted everyone, and she was never able to tell if she was joking or truthful.
She hated Stephen because he reminded her of herself.
She hated Anatoly for the same reason.
She hated Alan for being a bully.
She hated Crispin for the same reason, too.
She hated Sayuna because she was never sure her personality was genuine.
She hated Melodie because… because… she’s forgetful.
She hated Noah because he was just as anxious as she was.
She hated Selene because she annoyed everyone by literally making things disappear.
She hated August because his Gift messed with every electronic nearby.
She hated Jacob because she never could find out what each color meant.
She hated Astrid because she was cold and, for whatever reason, she and Melodie had problems.
She hated Gary because he couldn’t read the room (was she still a hypocrite?)
She hated Isabelle because her bug obsession was creepy.
She hated David because he was just generally unpleasant.
She hated Kennedy because she kept comparing her to some video game character that she didn’t know.
She hated Kincaid because he made her sneeze sometimes and he was another prickly person.
She hated Raymond because of how high strung he could be.
She hated Moose because his ability was disgusting and he seemed proud of that fact.
She hated Claudia because she was blunt.
She hated Lincoln because of his being insecure, and the orb thing was weird too. (again, hypocrite)
She hated Raja because he was quiet, but lashed out. Also, why ‘birds aren’t real’?
She hated Yvette because she whined about her Gift, much like her.
She hated Emily because, despite the fact she usually kept track of these things, she had no idea what her Gift was and that bugged her.
She hated Andrew because his Gift made everything quiet.
She hated Mattie because he was so indecisive.
She hated Ana because her Gift was just as hazardous as hers.
She hated Cyrus for being a psycho.
She hated Ximena because it was annoying to walk into the girls’ bathroom and hear her crying so often.
She hated Cecilia because she didn’t get to know her.
She hated Sydney because it was frustrating how easily her mood changed with just a temperature change.
She hated Toma because he was dumb.
She hated Leila because of how emotional she could be.

It made it easier putting it like that.

Nora wasn’t certain how long she’d screamed, cried, thrown up after running away. Just that she knew Joel took the heat because he… finished Orion off, and that meant… she wasn’t sure what that meant. She wasn’t even expecting that the announcements would tell you exactly what happened and who did it. She must have forgotten. Of course she’d forget.

Stupid Nora.

If Orion had died from the poison, they’d find out anyways. It didn’t take Lucine to figure things out. And, maybe Joel knew. Because… in retrospect, he might have realized how her poison worked. She could have passed it off as a freak accident, but… they knew how cautious she was about her venom.

So, for the longest time, she’d scream, whimper, cry, and go back to screaming again. Until her hands hurt from slamming them into the ground. Until spittle– that venomous spittle– flung out of her mouth, until she threw up. Until she felt ready to scream again. Eventually, she took out her sleeping bag and didn’t feel like getting back up. Her muscles ached. Not just the usual.

Eventually, the announcements came back on, and she sat back up once it was over. Nora rubbed her head for a second. She’d taken her mask off, so her hands fumbled around for a bit searching for it. It was right next to her head. It was dirty. Sand, and small bits of bile and spit, and God knew what else was on it. Nora thought about cleaning it with whatever she had, but she just glared at it.

She took out the scissors from the daypack, and began cutting away at it.

Nora hated those things, too. Everyone told her she was harder to read with them on, they gave her a rash sometimes, and it made her stand out. It was another reminder of her Gift, of what it took away.

She felt bad for getting angry. For hiding away all kinds of anger. For being resentful. It’d always been like that back home. Everyone told her she was nice. And she tried to be. That was how she was raised. Her extended family told her how ‘sweet’ she was. And yet… it still hurt. Not just physically, but emotionally.

Nora was never expected to be perfect, but she was seen as either ‘weak’ or a ‘threat’. And now she actually was a ‘threat’.

The mask was now reduced to pale green shreds. It felt good, destroying it. Much like coming up with reasons why she hated her classmates. Was it wrong? Was she holding back so many things? Was she sick in more ways she realized?

God, she was a bad person. Maybe even before this.

They cared about her. Her family, her friends. Everyone had been so supportive of her Gift. Well, not everyone, obviously. She’d still get weird comments, like the video game character thing. Sometimes people asked her to take her mask off, not realizing she wore it for a reason. Sometimes people acted like just touching her would get them sick, as if it wasn’t just her spit that was toxic.

But she had to forget about all the good things. Think of the bad. The reasons why she could hurt them.

Nora dropped what remained of the mask, and began packing up. Paused.

The puddle of vomit was still there. Her first instinct was to cover it up so nobody was exposed to her toxins. But, she decided to leave it.

Might make things easier.

((Nora Moriarty continued in And When You Go, Don't Return to Me, My Love))