STILL BREATHING

[ItzToxie]

"Hey man."

Crispin spoke through the chain link fence, a gap above him from where he'd taken some barbed wire that was now currently wrapped around his hands. "I'd uhh, I'd get closer, but I ain't about to have my head blow up, you feel me? Saw that shit happen to Toma, it ain't how I wanna go."

His eye trailed to the asphalt below him. "Shit still sucks, man. You heard what happened; probably saw it or some shit too, from...wherever you are. It's getting worse. Shit fucking hurts and I ain't got nobody in my corner; and like I just don't feel any closer to getting anything done. Too late to back out too, in too deep in this shit. Ain't like we got anyone else to do this shit for us; the weak fucking bitches." Crispin turned around and sat down against the fence. He could talk to Moose anywhere at this point, didn't really make a difference if he was on his grave or in fucking China. If he couldn't hear Crispy here, he wasn't in any shape to listen. If that was the case there wasn't even a point in talking, there's nobody listening, but he'd like to think there was.

Maybe it was for the best, anyone else would just give him shit for not letting them kill him. 'Let me kill you, let me kill you, just roll over and die'- Fuck You.

"You ain't gotta worry about Kennedy snatching no more fingers. Building blew up and crushed her psycho ass. Should feel glad about it, but honestly... Honestly I'm kinda disappointed I didn't do it myself. Hope she was alive under there for a little bit."

"All I got is some poor bastard who wasn't supposed to get involved in the first place. I guess two, but they didn't count that one, bastard got himself killed anyways. Still ain't found the bitch that fucked everything up for us. Mercy's the last one. I ain't playing this shit to get out. I just ain't letting her walk away from this shit. She ain't going home to play victim. After that, I'm done."

Crispy's eyelid felt heavy, it was hard enough to keep one open when the other was fused shut; winking all the time. Sometimes he felt the other one try to open. There'd be a pull then pain and then he just reminded himself it wasn't going to happen. Then he reminded himself who did it. It hurt. Just made Crispy angrier.

"You know I ain't slept in three whole days? I'm fucking tired man. I just... I just want to go to bed, dude. I know if I don't finish this then I won't wake up to get a chance to, though. This shit fucking hurts. I feel sick. I just wanna go apeshit. Lose my fucking mind and keep punching until there ain't nothing left in front of me. Not my arms, not Mercy, just fucking gristle. Fuck I wish I could go crazy."

Pain and rage were just about all he felt anymore anyways. It was all that kept him awake.

"I gotta go. If I don't keep moving, I'm just gonna crash. I can't stop for a second, or that's it. Wish me luck, dog. I ain't got nothing else going for me at this point." There was an audible pop from Crispin's knee as he stood up. He pressed his knuckles into his back and leant into them until there was another one, it sent a shiver all the way down through his tail.

"See you soon, cuz."

Crispy cracked his knuckles and walked away.