Kaine Griffin

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Primrosette
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Kaine Griffin

#1

Post by Primrosette »

Name: Kaine Griffin
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: Senior
Hobbies and Interests: Reading, music, rock painting, basketball, taking care of rabbits

Gift: Invisibility
Power Details: Invisibility causes Kaine to become invisible to others by summoning a filter that tricks their vision into seeing light pass through him. This can happen either voluntarily or involuntarily under great stress, though whenever Kaine is in control of his power he is also able to manipulate the filter so others of his choosing can still see him. This power can be used to sneak around and he can avoid unnecessary confrontations and fights that he doesn’t want to be involved in. He is able to make some small objects such as phones, jewelry, and any small metal objects disappear from people’s view when he is in his invisible form and he will have to make sure to hold onto the objects, otherwise the objects will become instantly visible as soon as he puts them down or if he drops them by accident. He is also able to make his clothes unseen by being able to bend the light around them.
Limitations and Drawbacks: Although Kaine cannot be seen by normal means, he still exists in the physical space. As such, others can still hear him or see his footsteps or other artifacts left by his movement. If he is touched by another person, Invisibility wears off immediately and cannot be activated again for another seven hours or so. Kaine can only activate this power for about thirty minutes and he will need time to recover his energy around seven hours or a bit more. Rain and other particles such as dust are able to make the outline of Kaine’s shape more visible which other people would be able to spot.

Appearance: Kaine is at the height of 6’2” and he weighs 171 Ibs. He is Mexican-American and his skin color is of a light brown, tanned tone. He is tall with an average posture and his legs and arms are slightly muscular due to keeping himself fit. Kaine has brown eyes, his black hair is wavy and it stops at just about shoulder-length with slight curls at the bottom. He has a straight fringe that stops just above his thick black eyebrows and he has several stripes of hair that is dyed red. He has a heart-shaped face, he has an average-sized nose and his mouth is normally set in a slight frown.

Kaine’s wardrobe is normally full of dark clothing that he prefers to wear most of the time and it is a mix of blacks, greys, dark blues and dark reds that he wears. He normally wears jeans, hoodies, t-shirts that are long-sleeved and short-sleeved and black laced up mens’ boots. He wears a black beanie with a small skull design on the left side, wears black guyliner, skull earrings and he wears black lipstick that he borrows from one of his siblings. On the day of the abduction, he was wearing a short-sleeved t-shirt with a skull with red eye sockets as a design, a black hoodie that is unzipped and has a design of a phoenix on the back of it, dark blue jeans, his jewelry, his makeup, his beanie and his black laced up boots.

Background:
  • Kaine was born to Wayne Oliver and Sabrina Lacasa in Bend, Oregon. Wayne died in a car accident when Kaine was a one-year-old baby and Sabrina struggled to support Kaine on her own as she had no family support and she felt like she was not a good parent. Kaine was adopted when he was two-years old to two close friends of Sabrina’s, Aubrey and Grey Griffin, who wanted to have kids of their own, though they later ended up adopting three other children named Sherrie, Vinnie and Connie. Aubrey works as a nurse at the hospital and Grey works as a banker. They are an upper middle class family and they make sure that they are financially stable for their children. Sabrina ended up moving away to the UK after marrying a new husband when Kaine was about five years old and she sends gifts and some child support from time to time.
  • Kaine got into reading at a young age as Aubrey let him read one of her James Patterson books at the time and he couldn’t put it down until he finished it all. He found himself hunting for more books at the local library and bookstores and he is into all different genres. He is currently in a literature club with a small group of friends where he can discuss it passionately.
  • Kaine had difficulty controlling his gift growing up as it mostly happened when he was stressed out, when he was around loud noises (people arguing, fireworks, etc) or when he got nervous about taking exams or giving presentations in front of people. He ended up listening to any type of music and painting rocks as a form of zen and mindfulness. He is able to control his gift most of the time, but can have a few mishaps here and there.
  • Kaine is bisexual and he is open about it as he doesn’t really care about how anyone feels about his sexuality. He is in a current relationship with another boy and he does have a slight crush on a girl. However, he is very loyal towards his boyfriend and he will never act out on how he feels personally.
  • Kaine is an average student who gets Cs in most of his school subjects, except for PE where he gets an A. He mostly is into playing basketball as his younger brother, Vinnie, plays it with him at home and he wanted to keep himself fit and healthy and he plays center on the basketball court.
  • Kaine is seen as a loner who mostly prefers to be on his own in the library most of the time. Kaine can be seen as a strange boy who doesn’t open up to new people who confront him and that he prefers his small group of friends over big crowds of people. He does have a small group of fans as he is pretty good at basketball and they like his stoic, mysterious persona.
  • Kaine got into the hobby of taking care of rabbits as his youngest sister, Connie, wanted to have a pet bunny but their parents were worried as she seemed too young to take care of a pet and Kaine offered to help out. He and Connie still enjoy it and they take care of four pet rabbits in the backyard and feel closer as siblings because of this.
  • Kaine isn’t fully sure of what he personally wants to do after school. He isn’t interested in going to college, but he is unsure of what he wants to really do for a job.
Personality: Kaine is a very quiet individual who prefers mostly to be alone and he doesn’t open up to people if he doesn’t know them that well. He only has a small group of friends that he is loyal to and he prefers to be more of a listener than a speaker. When people can get him to open up; he can be rather blunt, but he is soft spoken and sweet to those that he likes.

Other Skills: Athleticism
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Jilly
Posts: 477
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:57 pm
Team Affiliation: Ben's Crabs

#2

Post by Jilly »

Hey, Prim. I'll be honest, we got some work to do with the mechanics of Kaine's Gift (basically it's just super vague as written so we gotta expand by like, well, a lot, and I have some concerns with how powerful it is as written), but take my hand and we'll get through this. Time is money and I'm doing this pro bono so let's just get into it.
[+] Powers
Being up front I feel like this whole thing needs to be rewritten, but I'll break it down so we can make it more focused on a revision.
Invisibility is used as a way of Kaine being able to make himself unseen to anyone else, this power can be used to sneak around and he can avoid unnecessary confrontations and fights that he doesn’t want to be involved in. and he is able to make some small objects and items disappear from people’s view when he is in his invisible form.
This part runs on kinda breathlessly, but more importantly it's rather vague on what Kaine's Gift actually does so I'll ask you a few questions so we can get a good feel for what Invisibility's all about.
  • How is Kaine "unseen to anyone else"? Like, does he become translucent so light passes through him?
  • What kinds of "small objects"? Is it limited to stuff that would, say, fit in the palm of his hand? Does he have to keep physically holding them for them to remain invisible as well? Or, if he only has to touch them and go how quickly do they turn visible on their own?
  • Can Kaine turn invisible at will, or is it out of his control and just kinda happens? Once he turns is he stuck that way until enough time passes or does he have some sort of control with turning visible again? (you touch on this in Kaine's bio but I feel like it also needs to be brought up in this area as well)
  • I'd move the bit about how long Kaine can be invisible up to this paragraph as well, though more on that later.
  • Does his clothes turn invisible with him as well?
The only people who can see Kaine clearly in his unseen form are people who are gifted with vision or visual-like powers and this can result in them touching him which takes him out of his invisible state. He can only use his gift for about two hours as a full limit as it drains a lot of his energy to focus on it and he will need about four hours to recover to use his gift once again. His footprints can only be given away if he is walking on a sandy beach or if food products (such as flour) have been dumped on the group.
I get what you're trying to say but on the real real this needs to be rewritten by a lot as well for the sake of clarity and tone kinda too with the last part. I'll throw a rewrite out there which you may use if you want so imo it'd be better if it was written like so:
Although Kaine cannot be seen by normal means, he still exists in the physical space. As such, others can still hear him or see his footsteps or other artifacts left by his movement. If he is touched by another person, Invisibility wears off immediately and cannot be activated again for another [insert amount of hours here].
With that touched, let's talk about Kaine's time limit for Invisibility's usage and rest time periods. Frankly, it's kind of busted. Two hours is a long time for something like this (imagine how much chaos someone could do with that kind of power in just 10 minutes alone!) and I really don't feel comfortable unless it was scaled back a lot. I'd say 20-30 minutes of invisible time would be acceptable for how powerful Gifts are, and I'd maybe push back the required rest timeline to something more like 6-ish hours of Kaine having to take a break. That'd mean Kaine could have two relatively spaced out Invisible episodes a day if he really wanted, which I think would also be fair power scaling. This is also really dependent on how you answer those earlier questions I have but still, food for thought if you go this route.

I'd also maybe add one more disadvantage due to how kinda S-tier Invisibility is functionally. If you want a suggestion, maybe while Kaine is invisible he also has some sort of odor? Like people are like "damn it straight up smells like oranges right here" or something? (though this also depends on if Kaine's clothes turn invisible with him or not since that would be a suitable disadvantage if they don't, same if Kaine's not able to entirely control when he turns invisible or not or something. I'd just feel way more comfortable if he had some sort of disadvantage that he'd have to truly compensate with due to how strong being invisible is)
All right, let's take a breath. That was the hard part. The rest is just some grammar edits, some minor rewrites I think make Kaine's profile a little stronger and clearer (all in blue accordingly), and a few minor points I think should be expanded on.
[+] Appearance
He is tall with an average posture and his legs and arms are slightly muscular due to keeping himself fit.
On the day of the abduction, he was wearing a short-sleeved t-shirt with a skull with red eye sockets as a design, a black hoodie that is unzipped and has a design of a phoenix on the back of it, dark blue jeans, his jewelry, his makeup, his beanie and his black laced up boots.
[+] Background
Wayne died in a car accident and Sabrina struggled to support Kaine on her own as she had no family support and she felt like she was not a good parent. Kaine was adopted as a baby to two close friends of Sabrina’s, Aubrey and Grey Griffin, who wanted to have kids of their own, though they later ended up adopting three other children named Sherrie, Vinnie and Connie. Sabrina ended up moving away to the UK after marrying a new husband when Kaine was about five years old, and she sends gifts and some child support from time to time.
- What age was Kaine when his father died, along with when he was adopted? Just so we can have a clearer picture on the exact timeline here.

- What do Aubrey and Grey do for work? Are they middle class or well off or anything?
Kaine had difficulty controlling his gift growing up as it mostly happened when he was stressed out, when he was around loud noises (people arguing, fireworks, etc), or when he got nervous about taking exams or giving presentations in front of people.
Kaine is an average student who gets Cs in most of his school subjects, except for PE where he gets an A.
- How is Kaine seen as around school? Is he fairly popular, is he kind of a loner, do people think he's a weirdo, etc.
He and Connie still enjoy it and they take care of four pet rabbits in the backyard and feel closer as siblings because of this.
Kaine isn’t fully sure of what he personally wants to do after school.
[+] Personality
When people can get him to open up he can be rather blunt, but he is soft spoken and sweet to those he likes.
...And that's all I got on this pass! Let me know when you got all this touched on, and please don't hesitate to ask me if you have any questions or need me to clarify anything as well. You got this!
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Primrosette
Posts: 902
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#3

Post by Primrosette »

Edited! ^^
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Jilly
Posts: 477
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:57 pm
Team Affiliation: Ben's Crabs

#4

Post by Jilly »

Sorry for the delay and thank you for being patient, my trains kept crashing into each other. Kaine's looking a lot better, I still have a few more suggestions as far as rephrasing some sentences goes but we're in the homestretch now.
Invisibility is used to make sure that Kaine is transparent towards the light. Some people cannot see the object only because their perception has been changed by a filter as a distraction and Kaine is able to allow other people to see him whenever he wants to and if he is in full control of it. He can mostly keep himself focused on turning himself invisible by being in a calm state of mind and if he is caught off-guard, it can be out of his control in intense situations for him.
I get what you're saying here though it took me a few times to get what "cannot see the object" referred to and I think this could maybe be reworded again just to make things a little tighter and clearer (pun not intended). Something like this would be good imo:
Invisibility causes Kaine to become invisible to others by summoning a filter that tricks their vision into seeing light pass through him. This can happen either voluntarily or involuntarily under great stress, though whenever Kaine is in control of his power he is also able to manipulate the filter so others of his choosing can still see him.

Rain is able to make the outline of Kaine’s shape visible which other people would be able to spot.
I really like this disadvantage, but I think it should be expanded as maybe "Rain and particulates like dust are able to-" since things like that would also fall under the same sort of umbrella imo.

With these updates I also think it'd be okay if you wanted to make Kaine's invisible session time closer to half an hour or so, but that's totally up to you. Regardless, let me know when you hit these things and I'll step away from my transportation enterprise and give Kaine another look and let me know if you have any questions.
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Primrosette
Posts: 902
Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2018 1:59 pm
Location: In Her Dark Abyss

#5

Post by Primrosette »

Edited! ^^
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Jilly
Posts: 477
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:57 pm
Team Affiliation: Ben's Crabs

#6

Post by Jilly »

All right, looks good. Welcome to Supers.

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