Looking Back Is Blinding

[Catche Jagger]

((Gabriela Garcia-Campos continued from The Paradox(es) of Heroism))

The pool had bodies strewn about too, signs of the game played in Gabriela’s absence. The bodies of the two boys were of little note, one sunk at the bottom of the pool, while the other seemed to have suffered a collar detonation at the side. The girl, however, was a gruesome sight. She, too, rested at the bottom of the pool, but Gabriela wouldn’t have been able to tell who she was if she’d tried. The top of the girl’s face had been blown away, leaving nothing but mangled tissue and bone.

Gabriela quickly stepped away from the edge. She didn’t need to see anymore, and did her best to turn her mind elsewhere.

The pain in her arm hadn’t gotten better, it had simply changed from the morning, even after Elliott had treated it well. It was no longer sharp and aggressive, all encompassing. Now it was creeped along, an ache, a reminder of what a fucking failure she was in executing her stupid fucking plans.

Like Elliott.

She halted her steady movement away from the pool, her legs locking up. It wasn’t like she was going anywhere anyway, since there was nowhere to go. The jaws of the trap were closing shut on all of them.

Feeling some weakness in her knees, Gabriela sunk into one of the pool chairs beside her, and looked up into the night sky. However, it’s display seemed dim. Maybe that was the lighting of the cruise ship, but it was probably her. Still, she just stared upward in silence for a long while.

“I think we’re done, Elliott. It’s over.” She didn’t look at him when she spoke.

[RetroVenus]

((Elliott-Blair Østergaard continued from The Paradox(es) of Heroism))

The announcements came on, and Elliott-Blair was mentioned.

Not by name, but by team. Ritzy Daggers merrily informed all who could listen that there was only one member of the Mariners team left. He knew, with a sinking realization, that she was referring to him.

Having stopped to take a short rest around the pool area, he changed his outfit to the iridescent one the producers had oh so loving provided. It made him more visible, but at least he was no longer projecting to everyone that he was the last remaining Mariner.

He glanced over to Gabriela, then looked away. He felt he did a good enough job tending to the wound, but each time her face twisted into a grimace he was reminded of how helpless he really was. How helpless she really was.

This wasn't working.

Seo-yun scored yet another kill, Gabriela was falling apart, and none of this was working. It was that same feeling of dread he had upon awakening near that restaurant. This place reeks of death, why did you think you were any different?

Gabriela seemed to read his mind, as she collapsed onto the nearest pool chair, watching the sky for a good bit before speaking. It really was over.



Like hell it was.

"...It's not. No, it's not," Elliott-Blair started, his flat tone even more pronounced.

"Look, as long as Seo-yun's still here, there's a chance. And you're team's still going, right? We can still get out."

[Catche Jagger]

Saying it out loud had brought about an odd sort of sensation, a loosening in the shoulders which she hadn’t thought to be tense to that point, while a contrasting tightness took hold of Gabriela’s chest.

Of course Elliott was going to make the matter difficult. Gabriela had hoped he might be so gracious as to simply agree and timidly slip off into the night so that she could start putting him out of her mind, but it was stupid to expect as much. The announcements had made clear that he was the last remaining member of his team which made her all that Elliott had out here.

Gabriela had made sure of that outcome, and Ritzy’s words had her thinking of Carol in particular, of the decision to make that first kill.

“The flotilla’s mostly blocked off now. That means the game’s ending, Elliott. There’s not going to be enough fucking time.” Her tone turned increasingly harsh, fingers digging into her knee, eyes slowly wandering from the sky above, trailing towards the horizon, but never looking to him.

“I fucked up, alright? I couldn’t- we’re too behind anyway. Seo-yun’s way ahead and-” She stopped partway through the statement. The truth was that even Anthony fucking Golden had managed to pass her in kill count that point.

There was a slight wavering in Gabriela’s breath and she held her knees close, focusing. She needed that, focus, taking a moment before speaking again.

“Just fucking go, idiot.” She said, her voice barely above a whisper.

[RetroVenus]

The game's ending, she said.

The only real place to go was somewhere on the cruise ship, as everywhere else had been blocked off. Seo-yun now had seven kills to her name while Gabriela only had four. The curtain was beginning to close.

There wasn't enough time.

Gabriela brought her knees to her chest, watching the horizon, never once looking at Elliott-Blair. It was so unlike her, watching her accept her death like this. Not even a week ago she'd be complaining to him about a contestant like her, yelling at the TV for her to get off her sorry ass and keep going.

She told him to leave. He didn't want to die.

"...So why not go after Seo-yun?" and as soon as those words left his mouth, a wave of panic washed over him. What was he suggesting? She had seven kills for a reason; she wasn't just going to roll over dead for his and Gabriela's sake.

In spite of himself, he kept going, "The flotilla’s blocked off, right? So she's somewhere on this cruise ship. We just take her by surprise, then she'll no longer be a threat."

He looked away from her as he spoke, words tumbling out at an increasing pace. He wasn't frightened at her dismissing his proposal, he was frightened that she'd accept.

[Catche Jagger]

Elliott suggested going after Seo-yun. It wouldn’t have been unreasonable of Gabriela to just laugh at such a stupid fucking idea, but she didn’t.

The difference between herself and Seo-yun came down to more than just killcount, Gabriela knew. Back earlier in the game the leader of the pack had managed to score a pair of kills in the middle of a gunfight, at least that was how the announcements told the story. Even if the girl had been broken down by her time on the show, her peak form saw her winning gunfights, killing multiple targets in a single go.

What had Gabriela done, in turn? In the cases of Carol and Diana, she’d managed to take them by surprise, both too busy with someone else to notice that they’d been shot. With Sarah, she’d needed Elliott to bail her out when she’d made a stupid mistake that had nearly gotten her killed. With Hannah… Hannah was already dead and knew as much. What Gabriela had done there was little more than a formality.

And now, Elliott suggested, the two of them were going to stroll up to Seo-yun and take her out of the equation.

Or maybe that argument was an excuse.

It was possible that Seo-yun had simply gotten lucky so far. Plenty of people pointed out that Jewel Evans had gotten all the way to ten the previous season with a heavy helping of luck on her side. So maybe it was an excuse to think they couldn’t do it, an excuse to just let herself be tired and and angry and fucking weak.

She was certain why she didn’t want to look at Elliott.

“We’ll lose, Elliott. Didn't I tell you to fucking go?” Still a whisper aimed out at the sea. She couldn't say any more.

[RetroVenus]

Gabriela pointed out to Elliott-Blair how absurd it was to go after Seo-yun in two simple words.

The announcements made Seo-yun out to be a legend, someone who managed to kill two people within the same gunfight. Gabriela, meanwhile, had either taken people off guard or struggled during the killing. No wonder she had given up, repeating her demand for him to leave.

Still, she hadn't said no.

"Hence why we take her by suprise," Elliott-Blair reiterated. He stole a glance at Gabriela, seeing that she still refused to look at him.

Why would she? All he was doing was ordering her to her death.

"Maybe she'll go on one of those small boats nearby, and we just ambush her, she'll have nowhere to run," he continued. Dread began to pool into his stomach. This wasn't going to work. Seo-yun would get the drop on them and—

"After all, she's only human," he heard himself say. God, he was going to be sick.

But he wanted to live.

[Catche Jagger]

Elliott was really fucking bad at making a convincing case for this.

He was phrasing it all like some heroic deed, punctuating his statement with some cliche about Seo-yun being human. Was that supposed to be inspirational? Fucking obviously Seo-yun was human. Shit, she probably had some injuries by this stage of the game.

Elliott wasn’t going to leave. He was going to keep begging for her help because he was going to be hopeless and alone once Gabriela cut him loose. So she wouldn’t be able to just tell him off or ask him to go. Maybe threaten him, then? Wave her pistol around, fire it?

Her hand wandered to the weapon. It was…

Everything about this was fucking awful. Gabriela just wanted to be alone again, to think, to breathe.

Gabriela would have to turn on Elliott or she’d have to put herself in another fucking fight, dumber and riskier than any idiot move she’d made so far. Even then their chances were going to be slim, getting another five before the end. All of it seemed completely fucking stupid but now she had to make a call on this. No one else could.

Something tore through Gabriela’s insides when she finally turned her head to look at Elliott, and Gabriela twisted up her face to try to make sure it didn’t show.

“You… you’re going to do everything I say when we do this.” She spoke as if this hadn’t always been their arrangement. Elliott would listen to what she said, and that would get him home. Told herself that too.

“Got it?” Voice slightly louder, though still smaller, tired.

Hopefully, Elliott had enough conviction for the both of them.

[RetroVenus]

Gabriela said nothing to Elliott-Blair's speech. Instead, he saw her hand creep closer to where her pistol lay.

He felt his muscles relax, felt himself breath a little easier. Odd, shouldn't he have the exact opposite reaction? That was how he reacted when she first pointed her gun at him. His ears had been ringing, like she had already fired it and he had yet to notice the bullet lodged in him. He could see and hear and feel everything now.

Maybe...maybe this was for the best. Even if Gabriela pulled off an improbable win against Seo-yun, that still left five more people that needed to die. An ever decreasing number of people, all armed and ready to shoot on sight.

Dying at the hands of a friend didn't sound so bad. He had seen it with Diana; a quick, clean gunshot to the head, and he would be gone from the world.

He'd finally wake up, then. He'd wake up, go to school, tell Gabriela all about that strange dream he had...

And then Gabriela looked at him, and the faint smile on his face disappeared. She agreed to his demands.

Gabriela would be in charge of this whole operation, not him. He would have to do everything she said. That was the agreement when they first met on the flotilla, that was the agreement when they first became friends. In a way, nothing's changed.

Killing Seo-yun would work.

"Got it," Elliott-Blair said, surprised by how disappointed he sounded. Wasn't this what he wanted?

((Elliott-Blair and Gabriela continued in God Only Knows))