this leaves me quite discheesed

[Applesintime]

((Anthony Golden continued from Funtime in the Sunshine))

They had been walking for a while. The cruise ship in the distance still loomed over them ominously, but he was certain Fisk couldn't shoot him with his tommygun at this distance. At least, he hoped so. He didn't know how much range that thing had, but it had no sight or anything on it so it was probably fine. The rest of the area looked relatively deserted, so here was as good as any to have a private conversation.

Their travels had taken them to a clear patch of jetty; not many boats nearby, unlike the jetties they had passed. The floor looked rickety and weak as fuck, and Anthony wasn't happy about that. But the clear access to the ocean was perfect for what he was trying to do. You had to experiment in order to escape, after all. THe collars didn't just click off if you said the right words, you had to make them click off. But first, he had a conversation with Giselle that was more urgent. He'd hate to do something like this while looking over his shoulder to make sure he didn't get a shiv in his back.

"Giselle, what the fuck is going on?" Anthony burst out, his voice clearly agitated. "You're working with those guys, talking about how a glass shiv is useful- what the fuck is going on?" He threw his hands up, a sudden agitation overwhelming him. Fisk and Vasily were both people he had pegged for players. no doubt about that. But Giselle? Giselle should be with him, they should be trying to get out of this together, throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks.

If it turned out she was a player? If she wasn't just a victim of poor circumstances, but someone who relished in the opportunity to snuff out lives like a candle, wipe out infinite potential to do something great with the slash of a blade or the bang of a gun?

Well, he didn't know what the fuck he would do.

[Sh4dE]

((FR05 Giselle Fillmore continued from Funtime in the Sunshine))

Giselle had her shiv hidden in her pocket. She was prepared to pull it out if she had to.

The two of them walked for a while. It reminded her of the times she walked with Anthony after school on the way home or the time they walked and talked when just walking through the promenades of Miami. They talked about all the subjects they could think of, sometimes shitting on the producers of the show, sometimes mocking the fans they knew. This time Giselle was dead-quiet while walking because she was thinking about how to sell the whole thing to Anthony. Maybe it would have been better if Fisk had explained it, he was better with words than her.

It was a very awkward walk for her until Anthony spoke up and asked her all the questions and demanded answers. Giselle hesistated answering and stopped walking. She was not going to lie to her best friend. She was not going to cause any drama so the viewers could expect something to happen. She had to be open and truthful to Anthony.

"Okay, Anthony, hear me out. I know you will not be pleased about this, but I got to be honest to you."

Another pause.

"So, Fisk and Vasily? They're my friends. I'm now involved in a player group. Sorry. But this is the safest option for me. Not escape, not getting ten kills. But being part of a group of power players. Safety is the most important thing right now, especially for us. You and me. We both hate this sick game and we need to continue spreading the word about our ideas. Tell everyone the truth about SOTF. But that can't be done if we die in here."

[Applesintime]

She was. She was part of a player group. A player group. After all the shit-talking they had done together, of the stupid mouthbreathers who consumed this show like their cheap TV dinners, of the corrupt, heartless executives who sent children to their deaths in the name of corporate profits and TV ratings and especially of the moralless players who murdered their classmates and friends in the hopes of getting out alive so they could shill their image for money, not caring about how God viewed them, she was telling him she was part of a fucking player group? She was ready- no, she was willing to murder someone just to save her own fucking ass?

"What the fuck, Giselle!? You-you fohking joined a player group? And you're friends with 'em, even knowin' that they plan to play this fucked-up game? Knowing that you might have to murder someone, stanb them to death with your little shitty glass shiv?" He accusingly pointed a finger at her. She was a player now. Had she brought him out here to stab him to death, kick his body into the water and crow to her fellow murderers about how she had lied to her best friend and gained his trust just so she could stab him to death brutally?

"Maybe if we die in here we won't get to inspire people to take this fucking show off the air, but you don't have to murder." His initial anger had now been replaced with a kind of pleading. There was still hope. He couldn't reconcile the image of the girl who attended anti-SOTF rallies with him, shitting on all the bloody superfans who thought they were hot shit, with the girl who stood in front of him, clutching a glass shiv in her pocket and telling him she had joined a player group.

"We can escape together. Look, all we gotta do is get these collars off and then-then we can, I dunno, get on one of the smaller boats and paddle out of here. You don't have to murder anyone, Giselle! You can just- You don't have to murder anyone if we can just escape! I have a few ideas for getting the collars off, but that doesn't- We can just keep trying!" His speech was disjointed, a billion different things running through his brain, things he wanted to say to her. He wanted to cry, he wanted to punch her, he wanted to just scream until he drowned out the world itself.

"What do you do when they turn on you and stab you to death? It's not like- You aren't on the same fucking team for God's sake! You can't all get out!"

[Sh4dE]

Anthony was upset, Giselle expected as much, even though she hoped he would've reacted with a bit more understanding. She felt the needles of guilt crawling on her skin after she declared her next words.

"We already did. We already did murder."

It felt hard for Giselle to find the words, so she took another deep breath.

"Ivan is dead. We killed him. He was a player, though and attacked us."

Giselle was not sure whether that was good news for Anthony, after all both hated him. But she didn't want to sound too tasteless in front of him, so she cut commenting poorly on Ivan.

He really didn't know how to escape and expressed it with his lack of plan. There laid the problem, he had no plan while she had one.

"Look, Anthony, you don't have to worry about betrayal or my safety. You should look out for your own safety. You've been kicked in the balls, I'm completely unharmed due to my group."

Geez. Hopefully that did not seem like she was bragging. She distracted from that topic by quickly spitting some facts.

"Sixteen years ago, in 2005, this TV show was approved by the Bush administration. It was a reality show like the others at the time, to entertain people with drama. The question was whether people would kill their friends if they had to and they did. They constantly did it and did it and people continued watching the constant betrayal and fighting and been drawn into the heartbreak, tragedy and dark nature of the show.

"I will not give them that. I will not give them any satisfaction. This group is based on friendship that can not be broken.

"I can trust them, and they trust me. They aren't chosen by the producers but by me."

[Applesintime]

They murdered someone. They already murdered someone. It had been two hours (At least, he thinks it's been two hours. Hard to tell when you don't have a fucking watch) and he could know that at least one person was dead.

Ivan Rodriguez. Anthony didn't like him. He was a bullying superfan asshole and frankly, Anthony would have loved to do nothing more than punch him right in the nose. But that was as far as he would go. He wouldn't murder someone just because he disliked them. Ivan may have been an asshole, but he still was a person. There were endless, endless opportunities ahead of him. Maybe in his future, he'd have realised the error of the ways. But not now, not ever. And frankly, there were issues with Giselle's story. Her 'friends' had planted a seed of suspicion in his mind, and now the fruits were beginning to blossom.

"Forgive me for having doubts, when Vasily was ranting about how you guys were gonna kill people because they got in their way and killing them for supplies! Did he attack you, or did he defend himself from a roving band of fucking marauders who were going out and deciding to hunt people? Which one, Giselle? Which fucking one!? Because I have a hard fucking time trusting someone who said that she's working with a player group!" His fury steamed out of him like a kettle, his brow furrowed with... with what? Disappointment? Anger? Resentment? Sorrow? A confusing mix of emotions were flowing through Anthony, and he didn't know which one to grasp onto.

"I think I'll have a better time looking out for my safety if there's not a roving player gang with a fucking tommy gun hunting and killing people! And you didn't goddamn answer my fucking question! Do you think the producers are just gonna let you all go, singing happily and skipping out of the fucking murder game with blood on your hands? No! They'd make you murder each other for the drama, for the tense moments and the fucking ratings!"

Panting, taking deep breaths, Anthony forced himself to calm down. No, now wasn't the time to be angry. Now was the time to get information. He didn't give a shit about her rambling about Bush's government, he didn't follow the circus that was American politics. Back in England, in the UK, if you had dared suggest making children kill each other you would have been shouted out of the House of Commons. Didn't matter what you were; Tory, Labour, Lib Dems, the mere act of suggesting it would have had you voted out of office.

Why was America so different, so fucked up in that regard?

[Sh4dE]

Okay, now Anthony was just randomly accusing her and the Respects. She tried her best to be a diplomatic, but Anthony's anger caught on and she also got a bit temperament in her speech.

"Come on, Anthony! You know fucking Ivan. Don't try to depict him as a victim, he's the most likely to play the game and you know it. If he wouldn't play no one would. The boy probably even prayed that we'd be chosen. His letters to Santa were likely 'I wanna be on SOTF-TV when I grow up'. He's supporting this show, like millions of other people in this country and got what he deserved. It's called karma."

Giselle continued ignoring the question Anthony pressured her to answer. It was not important, he was not going to seed any doubt into her. It was a worry for later and it was the best not to think about it right now. Groups fall apart way too early always someone brought up a scenario from the future.

"Okay, fine. If you don't trust us, that is fine. Look, I'm here to help you, I'm not here to hurt you. I will protect you from them. I'll be trying to keep the boys on the cruise ship. So if you don't step on the cruise ship, you'll be fine."

[Applesintime]

"Maybe he was an asshole Giselle, but he doesn't deserve to die! It's not fucking karma if he dies! Nobody fucking does! Even if they're a goddamn asshole there's always- There are infinite bloody possibilities, and who goddamn knows what he might have thought in five, ten years! Maybe he'd think 'Oh, I was a bit of an arsehole in high school, I will rectify that'. But no, you fucking murdered him! I don't give a shit what you say, you all had the choice to just disarm him or tie him up or something! Instead, you goddamn murdered him!"

Anthony scoffed. She still wasn't fucking answering his questions. She didn't trust them. He didn't trust her. Were these her true colours? Justifying the murder of a person based on him attacking them, which he didn't fucking believe one bit? Maybe it was. Maybe she was a Judas, a wolf in sheep's clothing.

"Here to help me? Here to help me?! I'm giving you a fucking ultimatum. Either you join me and we get the fuck out of here together, or you go back to your little murder squad and jerk yourself off about how you're doing the right thing by murdering people!" He crossed his arms, waiting for her reply.

[Sh4dE]

"It's not karma, because he's an asshole. It's karma, because he supports the thing that killed him!"

Giselle stepped closer Anthony and put her face right in front of the camera of his collar.

"and I hope that any of you shitheads that are currently watching and are enjoying yourselves will get picked as well when you grow up. Because that are the fucking consequences of supporting this and not protesting against it. Because if we rebell against this they have to put a stop on this and everyone's life will be safer."

She stepped back from Anthony's collar camera and crossed her arms as well. She thought about the ultimatum.

"Alright, if that's what you want, if that's what you want. Then so be it. If your fucking pride is more important than your life. Cool, the next time we meet again I won't protect you from shooting you. That what you want? That what you want?"

She was getting emotional, but she could hold her tears back. She didn't even mean what she said. She would always stop Anthony from getting hurt. She didn't mean what she said, but she was just so fucking angry and hurt about Anthony's words. She calmed down.

"I beg you, just think about it. Think about whether your morals are more important than your survival."

Sure, Giselle said it back at Miami, too. Players are wack, if she were chosen she'd escape and just flip the bird at the producers after doing it, but those were just words. Those were just fantasies. Those were just things you said. But reality was different.

[Applesintime]

"That's not even karma! That's- If I say `I sure do support public transport` and then someone hits me with a bus, that's not karma! I hate this goddamn show as much as you do! Do you think playing by their goddamn rules will help stop this? If, instead of killing each other, we all put our guns down and refused to shoot at one another, that would stop it! But no, no, killing people obviously works. Jesus Christ, Giselle, just-"

"You made your choice. And now you're threatening me?" Fucking stupid bitch. Was this all just a ruse? Had she been pretending to be against it this whole time?

"Off you fuck, Fillmore."

Or more precisely, off he fucked. He wasn't going to turn his back on her. So, Anthony turned around, keeping his eyes on her until he was certain she wouldn't follow him. And then, he turned around.

((Anthony Golden continued in If you're not rising, you're slipping down the rungs))

[Sh4dE]

"Fuck you too, Golden!" she shouted at him as he left. His ideas were far fetched. The public transport system wasn't designed to kill people. Putting the guns down? Idealistic, but not realistic. Anthony was just too proud to face reality.

Giselle snorted. She hoped Anthony would not get in danger. When they meet again, she hoped Anthony would realise that the game was dangerous and that having allies was important. She would still defend him from the Respects if they met again. But she hoped she wouldn't.

Speaking of, she planned to return to them. It was getting late. So she headed back to where she came from.

[Lilith]

E. : come on

E. : you cant just fucking ghost me

E. : dude please.
You: i literally have nothing to tell you You: you fucking hurt me, you know that? You: and i dont even fucking hate you for it You: i still love you and i cant even You: think You: or eat or sleep or do literally anything You: without having you on my mind You: what the fuck am i supposed to do e? what the fuck You: what the fuck You: tell me I don’t fucking know You: i miss you so fucking much

---

“I still miss you E-

[Lilith]

[Xander’s mouth is blurred alongside a short, high pitch distortion]

[Lilith]

-I still miss you so much.”

He grunted to himself.

His body moved behind Rhonda, his eyes captured by the shining lights reflected by the ocean. It was almost beautiful.

Almost.

[Aura]

(Rhonda Rollins continued from Every frame of this show is someone's last known photograph)

Rhonda stepped lightly on the uneven jettys. She looked behind herself every so often to make sure that Xander was still behind her, not willing to trust the changes that even a couple of otherwise silent minutes could bring. Finding Ivan had really hammered in a lot of the things that she already believed about SOTF, and slapped her in the face with the reality that they were happening all around her now.

She reminded herself of how to reload the shotgun. She was keeping a few shells in her pocket in case she needed them, but she gun itself was unloaded while she carried it. She didn't want to risk someone else stealing the gun and being able to shoot her with it right away, and she struggled with balancing that with the risk of a shootout happening and her not being able to fire back right away.

As she moved along, she thought that she heard a voice behind her. A low, barely comprehensible voice. She turned back to look at Xander.

"Huh? You say something?"

[Sh4dE]

Were there...were there people in the distance?

Giselle squinted her eyes and saw two people coming into her direction. Vas and Fisk?

Giselle moved further forward until she could recognise who the people were who came from the direction Giselle was heading to. Her thoughts about Anthony vanished as she recognised the shotgun Rhonda was carrying. Shit. There was no way around them and she was all on her own.

Both of them were on the same team and they had the same colors as James.

Giselle considered throwing herself into the ocean and swimming next to the jetties to avoid having to deal with them, but she still had her bag with her, and she wouldn't want to dip it into the water nor did she want to leave it on the jetties so Rhonda and Xander could pick it up.

"Hey!"

Giselle smiled at the duo, hoping they were not playing. Because if they were, she was fucked.

She anxiously awaited for a response, a reaction, prepared to jump into the water in case Rhonda's first reaction is to raise the shotgun and shoot.