In response to years of fan demand, we've decided to include a master list of all of the weapons we've issued out to our contestants this time around! We've assembled quite the arsenal this year, with help from our viewers! We were absolutely inundated with donations—everything from prized family heirlooms, to garbage, to more than a few nightmares dreamt up in garages and high school shop classes across the nation. Though we couldn't include every suggestion, we did carefully curate this list to ensure we included the best (and, in some cases, worst) the nation had to offer! The notes provided below are the same I've left with each issued weapon; you'll also be pleased to know that the weapon descriptions on this list are an exact copy of those written in the student binder, issued to BC03 - Matias Juarez!
Description: Fully automatic submachine gun, marketed towards law enforcement. Fires .22LR rounds from a 275 round pan magazines at the very high rate of fire of 1,200 rounds per minute. Approximately 35" long, weighing in at 10lbs fully loaded. If the magazines are empty, they must be manually and painstakingly hand-loaded one cartridge at a time; a spring must then be wound with a small lever on the top of the pan to create spring tension. Notes: The idea was that it was a weapon that had low penetration power, to be used safely [sic] inside of enclosed areas where the risk of high-powered rounds punching through walls was an issue. At 1200 rounds per minute, it was still more than capable of defeating body armor and barricades; given the apparent lack of recoil, enough small rounds in one place will eventually punch through. Supposedly these were also bought out by some prisons to control riots. Kind of sounds like the loudest swarm of bees you’ve ever heard. Have fun with this one! Recipient:SS09 - Fisk Bateman
Anchor
Description: 20lb Boat Anchor, painted light blue. Chain not included. Notes: Most of the time you use an anchor to stay in place. This one’s meant to take you places! Recipient: Not Issued!
Bag of Powdered Ghost Peppers
Description: Rated at over one million scoville units, the bhut jolokia is one of the hottest chili peppers in the world. A large amount of them have been dried, ground into a fine powder, and deposited into a large plastic bag. Will cause extreme irritation and burning if exposed to a mucus membrane (mouth, eyes, nose, skin). Notes:While you might be tempted to use this to spice up what are otherwise some pretty stale rations, one whiff and you'll quickly realize what this is actually meant for. We could've issued pepper spray, but this seemed like more fun. Recipient:CK05 - Seo-yun Lee
Bah Gawd, It's A Steel Chair!
Description: 8lbs, powdered black finish, with rubber leg tips to prevent damage to flooring. Folds easily for storage. Notes:GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY, IT'S A STEEL CHAIR! A relic from a bygone era of sports entertainment. Recipient: CK02 - Xander Miles
Bang Stick
Description:A 4' long steel rod, with a Powerhead affixed to one end. When the Powerhead is slammed against a target, an impact-sensitive firing pin sets off a rifle cartridge screwed inside of the steel cylinder. It must then be manually reloaded by unscrewing and replacing the spent cartridge before sealing it back up. Typically used as a defense against sharks and crocodiles as well as for spearfishing, it is just as deadly on land as it is underwater. Comes with replacement 5.56mm rifle cartridges. Notes:Bang your enemies, bang your friends, bang anything that crosses your path! Jab someone with this, and they'll feel way more than a love tap. Recipient:SB09 - Emmett Purcell
Blunderbuss
Description: Smoothbore Flintlock Blunderbuss, of equivalent size to what would be a one-gauge shotgun. Brass barrel is flared at the muzzle for ease of loading loose shot; can also be loaded with rocks, broken glass, or any other loose, hard material, though doing so may damage the inside of the barrel. Designed to be used at close quarters, as the shot spread is incredibly wide and inaccurate. Provided with a powder horn, paper wadding, and a small quantity of .24" lead shot in a small burlap bag. Notes: I attached a guide to muzzle-loading firearms, with the caveat that with this gun, you can load almost anything you want inside! We’re excited to see what SB1 comes up with, as we’re sure the rest of her classmates are. Recipient:SB01 - Jodi Hunter
Boarding Axe
Description: 32" in length, total. Weighs approximately 2lbs. Wear on the blade and handle indicate that it is an antique, though the blade and spike have both been recently sharpened. Notes:Axe, and ye shall receive. These things were designed to cut through rigging and for odd jobs on deck, as well as being a handy implement for cutting down enemy sailors when there weren’t enough swords to go around. Recipient:SS08 - Zack Harlow
Bolas
Description: Three leather-wrapped iron weights, bound with cord. Notes:You can fling them at the legs of your adversaries to trip them up, with some practice. Without practice, you'll probably just leave a few bruises. Recipient:BC09 - Gregory Miller
Bottle Of Rum
Description: A 26 oz. bottle of Premium, Navy-Strength Jamaican Rum. 57% Alcohol by volume. Notes: Yo ho hopefully you don't drink this all at once! I know what I'd do in your place. Recipient: Issued to everyone, in smaller quantity!
British Sea Service Flintlock Pistol
Description: Reproduction of a standard-issue Royal Navy flintlock pistol. Comes with powder, patches, and .54 Caliber lead ball ammunition. Barrel is approximately twelve inches long, making for a somewhat unwieldy weapon. Notes: We issued this with a basic guide to flintlock pistols. We’re running a small betting pool to see if SS07 will figure it out. Recipient:SS07 - Diana McIntyre
Buckler
Description: A small steel shield, used for deflecting blows from swords, or as a complimentary bludgeoning weapon. Typically used alongside a short sword. Notes: Okay so I'll admit when I saw this, I thought it was a joke. Like, just a shitty little shield? Turns out these things are pretty useful, if you know what you're doing! If not - then yeah, it's a shitty little shield. Recipient:ES07 - Laurence Clifford
Bugle (Horn)
Description: A basic brass horn. Pitch control is all done by the lipping of the player. Notes:Doot! We had someone listen in on one of Mangrove Garden’s horn ensemble practices. This could be a very dangerous weapon in the wrong hands. Recipient:SB11 - Sofia Kowalski
Bugles (Snack Food)
Description: A corn snack sold by General Mills since 1965. Packaging seems to indicate about 573 Calories per bag. Notes:Aw man, I love these! Did anybody else stick them on all of their fingers and make a cheese claw? I know I did! Recipient:MM01 - Vasily Ivanov
Caltrops
Description: Small, twisted iron spikes originally designed to impede and injure horses and soldiers, and later to puncture tires. Scattered on the ground, their design means there is always a spike pointing vaguely upwards. Notes:Yikes, look at those spikes! We tested them, and they can definitely pierce footwear. And the feet of an intern. Recipient:SS05 - Calla Evans
Car Battery and Jumper Cables
Description: Size 24 Lead Acid automotive battery, putting out 700 cold crank amps. Weighs approximately 37lbs. Comes with a set of red and black jumper cables. Notes:Clever trap? Torture device? Ill-advised escape attempt? You decide! Recipient:ES09 - Sylvain Kessler
Colt 1851 Navy
Description: .36 Calibre cap-and-ball revolver. Chambers must be manually loaded with powder and bullets, and capped with a percussion cap at the rear. Powder, bullets, and percussion caps have been provided in a small bag. Revolver is single-action, and must be cocked before firing. Notes:: Yee-haw! We provided a small guide on how to load and fire this thing, as well as a cleaning kit. If it’s done improperly, the chambers have been known to all go off at once. Good luck with that! Recipient:JL01 - Nura Husain al-Tarek
Colt 1911A1 Air Pistol
Description: A replica air pistol that fires tiny .177 Caliber Lead Pellets at low speed. Powered by a small C02 canister that fits into the grip, and loaded via a small rotary magazine inside of the slide. All-metal construction is superficially indistinguishable from a real Colt 1911A1, but is obvious on close inspection. Lead pellets are largely unable to penetrate skin, and are mostly a blinding hazard. Ammunition is stored in a small, red-white-and-blue metal tin labelled “Premium Lead Airgun Pellets” Notes:Looks real enough to intimidate someone with it, so long as no one is close enough to read the word "Replica" on the side of your gun. Recipient:ES08 - Genevieve Erickson
Complete Set Of Team Bandannas From Season 66
Description: A complete set of all of the team bandannas from Season 66, organized by team. Notes:Worth more as a novelty than anything else. Maybe tie them into a rope, or use them as wadding for one of our antique guns. Perhaps the world's most colorful garrote? Hopefully Student CK06 is creative. Recipient:CK06 - Dale Hawthorne
Complete Student Roster Including Assigned Teams And Weapons
Description: The complete roster of students, teams, and their weapons, all assembled in an easy-to-read, hard-to-miss bright orange binder. Notes: It even has little colorful dividers! Recipient:BC03 - Matias Juarez
Cordless Electric Nail Gun
Description: Battery powered nail gun, complete with a pack of 3 ¼" framing nails. “Ideal for fencing, framing, and decking applications.” Somewhat awkward to use, given its dimensions and poor balance. Notes:We’re having fun guessing what you’ll choose to do with it. Recipient:MM07 - Nadine Flores
Description: Authentic late 17th Century Cutlass, of French make. Has been recently sharpened and fitted with a refinished scabbard. Blade is only sharp on one side, as the weapon is designed for slashing. A short sword, it was the sailor’s weapon of choice because it was simple to use and effective in the close quarters of a sailing ship. Notes:Arr, we labored for a fortnight gettin’ this here olde cutlass into jolly shape for ye. Give no quarter! Recipient:CK11 - Gustavo Thicke
Dacian Falx
Description: A curved sword that is sharpened on the inside edge, like a sickle. Used extensively against the Romans, it was reputedly effective at piercing armor with its inward-facing point, as well as hooking around shields. This particular example is a two-handed reproduction, manufactured by a blacksmith who specializes in remaking ancient weapons. The blade is thirty-five inches long from the hilt. It has been professionally sharpened. Notes:Similar to the cutlass, but sharp on the inside edge of the curve instead of the outside. As far as I know it's only ever been used to cut through a pork shoulder and some watermelons, but I'm sure one of you will find a more interesting target for such a nasty blade. Recipient:JL02 - Luciano Ascensio
Dane Axe
Description: A two-handed battle axe with a long haft, and a single thin, wide blade that is closer to that of a meat cleaver than a conventional wood splitting axe. Used extensively by the Vikings and into the early Middle Ages, this example is a reproduction that has been professionally sharpened. Once a weapon of some prestige, it fell out of favor as swords and other polearms became more widespread. Approximately three and a half feet long, and weighs roughly four and a half pounds, most of it in the blade. Notes:The producers told me to go with a sea theme, so I figured hey, why not a Viking Axe? Maybe it'll inspire one of you to get in touch with your inner berserker. Recipient:JL09 - Chris Tyrell
De Lisle Carbine
Description: A bolt-action rifle firing subsonic .45ACP pistol ammunition through an integral suppressor, used by the British Special Operations during the Second World War as a nearly silent weapon. Likely one of the quietest firearms ever made, the sound of the bolt being opened and closed is significantly louder than the sound of the rifle actually firing. Effective to two hundred yards and still lethal at twice that distance, it is a particularly effective silent weapon. Its main limitations are a limited magazine capacity of seven rounds, and the manual operation of the gun. Notes:This thing is amazing. The slap of the bullets hitting meat targets at the other end of our range was all I heard after pulling the trigger. Few of the weapons on our list are as simultaneously devious and effective. With any luck, it'll end up in the hands of someone who can actually aim. Recipient:CK09 - Ra Jin Blackburn
Decorative Marieon Nameplate
Description:Image not available. Misspelling Corrected w/Marker. Notes:sory wii tried or best butt sometims thigns screw up.............. good luck!!!!!!!!!!!! Recipient:BC08 - Marion Rosales
Decoy Mannequin
Description: A male mannequin, approximately 6' tall, with a small metal base that allows it to stand upright. Lightweight plastic construction. Notes:These things are so creepy. Did it have to be anatomically correct? Recipient:JL08 - Amy Barrows-Shaw
Diving Knife
Description: Full tang, high-quality diving knife. Razor-sharp, 4.45" titanium blade with a molded, high-visibility rubber handle. Sheath has a push-button safety release catch. Weighs approximately 8.8 Ounces. Notes:I thought this thing was brand new, but it turns out it came from the diving kit of one of our fans. Apparently it proved its worth against some particularly vicious marine life. Probably why it still smells a bit fishy. Recipient:ES03 - Cory Cartwright
Dummy Grenade
Description: A Mark 2 “Pineapple” grenade, rendered inert by the removal of the explosive and fuse inside. Cast iron shell. Weighs about one pound, five ounces. Notes:Might not be able to raise hell with this, but you will raise pulses. Recipient:ES05 - Dieffenbachia Rubus
Elgin Cutlass Pistol
Description: A .54 Caliber, muzzle-loading percussion cap pistol. Features a large, 11-inch cutlass blade, designed to enable the pistol to continue to be used as a weapon after the single shot is expended. Notes:Is it better than a cutlass? No! Is it better than a pistol? No! Is it cool? Yes! A basic guide to muzzle-loading firearms is included, but shooting someone while you stab them is something you’ll have to learn about in the field. Recipient:SB10 - Abel Kuntz
Extendable Baton
Description: 26" Telescoping Baton, made from hardened steel. Tip at the end of the baton maximizes strike force in a small area. Easily concealable, and deceptively effective in close quarters. Notes:The trusty bludgeon of many a prison guard and riot cop. It's basically a steel rod, and pretty effective and bruising and breaking people. Recipient:SB03 - Pineapple Bloodworth
FN Baby Browning, 25ACP
Description: A sub-compact semiautomatic pistol firing the diminutive .25ACP cartridge. It’s only about four inches in length and under ten ounces in weight, with a six-round magazine capacity. Notes:Not actually for babies. Quite small and compact, though. Great for concealment. Recipient:MM06 - Cristobal Velasquez
Fake Nautical Beard
Description: A bright red fake beard, with a small rubber band affixed to two sides of the fabric. Appears to have been part of a Halloween costume, and is still in the original packaging. Notes:I want to imagine that someone's going to get clever and disguise the Mannequin with this, but I know it's just as likely one of you will have a mental break and decide that you're a salty sea captain now. And you know what? I think that might be the point. Recipient:BC04 - Anthony Golden
Filleting Knife
Description: A sharp, thin steel knife meant for cleaning and preparing fish. The thin profile of the blade allows it to slide easily through skin and across bone. While extremely sharp, it is quite flexible and likely to snap if put under too much stress. Approximately 7" long, and comes with a matching leather sheath. Notes:See, you can't really threaten to "gut someone like a fish" if you don't have the right tool for the job. This is the right tool for that job. Recipient:BC10 - Junji Yamada
Fishing Gaff
Description: A 5' long pole with a sharp hook at the end, used to stab fish and haul them into a fishing boat. Typically used for fish too heavy to haul in from the end of a fishing pole. Bright orange, the pole has two large rubber pads to provide a sure grip. Notes:Something about hooked weapons always seems to make my skin crawl. This came from a viewer in Maine who apparently isn't too bothered by the thought of what you lot might do with it. Recipient:JL06 - Jasper Surárez-King
Flathead Screwdriver
Description: Standard 3/8" flathead screwdriver, with a plastic handle. Approximately eight inches long, including the handle. Made from hardened tool steel. Notes:Well, at least you're not completely screwed. Recipient:ES01 - Alaska Ferguson
Gift Basket
Description: Contains a box of chardonnay, a 1982 issue of Hustler Magazine, and two packs of unfiltered
Camels. Notes:It was sent to us this way. We have not opened it. Recipient:BC06 - Rebecca Roberts
Glock 18c
Description: A compensated, select-fire variant of the popular Glock 17 pistol. A selector switch on the slide allows the pistol to be switched into full-auto, with a rate of fire between 1,000 and 1,200 rounds per minute. Fires from an extended thirty-three round magazine, which nevertheless is depleted in just under two seconds of continuous fire. Chambered in 9mm Parabellum, a common pistol cartridge. Notes:We've found most people who don't know what they're doing just go apeshit the moment they've gotta light someone up—so I thought fuck it, why don't we just give you a pistol with a fun switch? At least try not to spend all the bullets in one place, now. Recipient:ES06 - Timothy Torales
Greener Harpoon Gun
Description: A cartridge-actuated light harpoon gun utilizing a Martini-Henry style action. The harpoon fits over the barrel, and is propelled by a .38 Caliber blank cartridge that is loaded into the gun's chamber. An integral mount holds the rope that in normal circumstances would be tied off to a winch or a sponson. The head of the harpoon springs outward after penetrating a target, ensuring removal is impossible without causing serious physical trauma. Notes:Prominently featured in the 1975 feature film Jaws. I think you'll find this more than serviceable at dealing with the kinds of sharks you'll be swimming with. Recipient:JL11 - Mariko Whitney
SOTF: U Evan Keane: "I guess my world was always gonna end, somehow."
SOTF Supers: August Hanlon - "This never felt like much of a Gift."
Description: A five barreled pistol that fires rocket-propelled 4" steel darts. Designed to function underwater, it isn't especially accurate if fired in the open air. Cannot be reloaded, as it had to be returned to the manufacturer for disassembly to do so. Notes:The producers shot down my idea of handing one of you an RPG, so this is the next best thing. Sharp lil' rockets that don't explode, they just poke nasty holes in people. Pairs well with the diving suit if you're going for the murderous frogman aesthetic. Recipient:SS01 - Verity Stewart
How to Avoid Huge Ships by Captain John W. Trimmer
Description: "You are the owner-captain of a luxury fifty-foot trawler motoring across the bay with your family and a few friends one balmy summer evening. Off in the distance, beyond the bridge spanning the waterway, you can make out the lights and shape of a containership moving down the channel. Have you ever wondered what action you must take to keep clear of that fast-approaching ship? This book will tell you how to do so quickly. Conscientious skippers are wise to read this book and discover if a ship's radar will pick up a small boat at night. It is fascinating to learn what is taking place on the bridge or down in the engine room of one of these leviathans as it heads your way. Can it be stopped before it hits you? Learn how to protect yourself and your loved ones by reading this book written for the private boat owner/captain." Notes:Honestly I never thought there was much to avoiding huge ships, but it turns out someone wrote a whole book on the subject. Recipient: Not issued!
Hydrogen Sulfate
Description: An opaque, 500ml container of semiconductor-grade Hydrogen Sulfide, also colloquially known as Sulfuric Acid or Oil of Vitriol. The Polyethylene container is resistant to the chemical. Sulfuric Acid, particularly in this concentration, is extremely dangerous. Can cause permanent blindness, direct chemical burns, secondary thermal burns, severe damage to internal organs, and death. Aerosols from the acid itself can also be hazardous to the mouth, nose, eyes, and lungs. Can react violently if diluted in water improperly; the acid will rapidly heat the water and must be added slowly. Adding water to acid is not advisable. Notes:A lab technician out of Baltimore sent us the idea, and some sample photos. It wasn't a hard sell! Even with all of the firepower on this list, the stuff that's in that bottle is probably the only thing that actually scares me. It's hard to think of a worse way to die - which is precisely why it made the cut. Recipient:SS11 - Britnee Joyner
Jar of Live Leeches
Description: A glass jar containing an indeterminate number of Hirudo medicinalis, otherwise known as European medicinal leeches. Though unnerving, leech bites are generally not painful, though their saliva contains a number of anticoagulants. Notes:Gross! I can't see much of a use for these, unless one of you decides that your humors are out of balance and you've just got too much blood in your body! In that case, there are still plenty of faster ways to remedy that problem during the course of our little game. Recipient:CK04 - Cassini Evans
Jericho 941
Description: Steel framed semi-automatic pistol chambered in .45 ACP. Comes with ten-round detachable magazines. Fires in single or double action. Notes:The Desert Eagle's milquetoast cousin. Still, you can't really go wrong with a .45—unless you're the one being ventilated with it. Recipient:BC05 - Gabriela Garcia-Campos
Jetpack
Description: Maximum total flight time: 30 seconds. Maximum pilot/cargo capacity: 175 lbs. Weighs 80 lbs, of which 60 is fuel (hydrogen peroxide). Notes:Oh my God, this is so much fun! Also a really easy way to break your legs—one of the interns found that out the hard way. Recipient:BC07 - Ashanti Baker
Laser Pointer
Description: Class 4, 1000mW Laser Pointer, Green. Can cause serious injury to eyes at relatively close range, and flash blindness at further distances. Housing is aircraft-grade aluminium, similar to a milspec flashlight. Notes:It's a shame we don't yet have "blast smoldering holes in your adversaries" lasers just yet, but we do have "blind people, possibly permanently" lasers, which is good enough. I have to confess, I spent a lazy afternoon just popping party balloons with this thing. So much fun! Recipient:SB02 - Sergio Gallo
Lifejacket, Water Wings, and Water Safety Manual
Description: A Navy-Standard Life Preserver, as well as a pair of children's water wings and a copy of the American Red Cross' instructional manual for swimming and diving. Notes:Everything you should need to avoid drowning, in the tragic and hilarious event that one of you doesn't know how to swim. Recipient:MM05 - Stokley Keeper
Little Joe Crossbow
Description: A reproduction of a World War Two Era covert operations crossbow. Weighs 2.2lbs, at 13" long by 8" high. A set of fifty tightly-bound rubber bands is able to generate enough force to propel the steel bolt fast enough to pass straight through a uniformed soldier at 30 yards. Was considered to be accurate enough, easily grouping shots within a six inch circle at that range. Is extremely quiet compared to other projectile weapons, including the De Lisle Carbine. Notes:We had a hard time getting this thing refurbished and working again, but it’s so cool. Punched right through one of our office binders! We probably should have warned the intern not to hold it in front of him. Other than the screaming, this thing is astonishingly quiet. Don’t know why you’d pick it over a normal gun with a silencer, though. Recipient:JL07 - Leah Hemingway
M1895 Lee Navy
Description: A straight-pull bolt action infantry rifle that was briefly employed by the United States Navy and Marine Corps. Fires the 6mm Lee Navy cartridge, which was particularly light and fast for the time, more comparable to modern rifle cartridges in its ballistics. Fires from five-round en bloc clips that are loaded in through the top of the action. Rifle weighs eight and a half pounds loaded, and is around forty-eight inches long. Rifle is effective out to six hundred yards, assuming competency on the part of the user. Notes:In my opinion, this thing was ahead of its time, and I'd have taken it over a Krag or a Springfield any day. Logistical problems and cost prevented it from seeing mass adoption, though. A really nifty piece of history - treat it well. Recipient:SB06 - Kaya Robinson
M55 Reising Submachine Gun
Description: A little-known .45 caliber submachine gun issued to Allied Marines and Paratroopers during the Second World War. At six and a half pounds loaded, with a folding wire buttstock, it was a particularly compact and lightweight weapon when compared to weapons like the Thompson and M1 Garand. Fires from a thirty-round detachable box magazine at an eminently controllable five hundred rounds per minute. Was considered to be a reasonably accurate and effective weapon. It suffered from reliability problems in the field due to its complex operating mechanism, which jammed often when exposed to the harsh conditions of the Pacific Theater. Was withdrawn from service in the USMC after a short time and was sold to allies or issued to auxiliary troops and police departments. Notes:This thing was too complex for conditions it was issued in, and for the Marines who carried it. Which, knowing Marines, is admittedly a pretty low bar—but reason enough not to keep using it. At a shooting range, though? It works beautifully, better than a Tommy Gun by a country mile. It's too bad you won't find yourself anywhere so high and dry. Keep it clean! Recipient:Loner - Amanda Brookes
Marine Corps Officers' Mameluke Sword
Description: A general officer's saber that was historically issued as part of the ceremonial dress of Marine Corps Officers. Blade was not designed for extensive use, but the single edge has been professionally sharpened so as to be functional. Comes with a matching sheath. Notes:I always wondered whether the Marines who carried these things would have any idea what to do with them if they had to use them. I want to think there's at least one of them who was ballsy enough to go all Jack Churchill on a motherfucker, but I figure that's expecting too much for a jarhead. These kinds of things stopped being used because it's honestly pretty stupid to carry around, at least once guns are a factor. Try your best! Recipient:CK08 - James Highchurch
Meat Cleaver
Description: Antique butcher's cleaver with a 12" blade. Has been professionally sharpened and comes with a heavily worn leather sheath. Notes:FIND SOME MEAT! Recipient:CK07 - Lucia Cuevas Valdez
Megaphone
Description: A battery powered bullhorn, military-issue. Effective amplification out to six hundred yards. Notes:I had fun waking up our interns with this. It's important to keep them on their toes. Use this to coordinate with your allies, or taunt and harass your enemies! Just remember, someone's eventually going to want to shut you up. Recipient:BC01 - Mateo Ormeño
Morphine Syrettes
Description: A Syrette is a device similar to a syringe, but utilizes a flexible tube similar to a toothpaste tube. These types of Morphine Syrettes were issued during the Second World War as part of first-aid kits. One Syrette contains a large enough dose of Morphine to deal with severe pain; two doses could be dangerous, if not outright lethal. Two Syrettes are issued in a small aluminium case. Notes:One's enough to get you through some pretty severe pain. Use both of them, and you might not feel anything ever again. Recipient:SS03 - Caleb Bloch
Narwhal Tusk
Description: A 6' length of Narwhal tusk. Weighs approximately ten pounds. Notes:Perfect for causing a commotion. Recipient:MM04 - Keegan Garcia
Novelty War Pick
Description: A wooden shaft capped with a steel head in the shape of a hand, "holding" a 5" blade. Notes:Possibly the funniest weapon to get stabbed by. At least, from a bystander's perspective. Recipient:ES12 - Ivan Rodriguez
Oar
Description: A 6' wooden Oar, typically found affixed to a rowboat. Notes:Trying to defend yourself with this sounds like quite an oardeal! Recipient:JL03 - Mary Cheung
Pike (Fish)
Description: A recently caught Pike, delivered frozen. Approximately four pounds, twenty-one inches long. Is beginning to thaw. Notes:
Fillets:
1 ½ pounds Pike Fillet
¾ Cup of Flour
1 Tsp Salt
1 Tsp Black Pepper
Cayenne Pepper to taste
Batter:
¼ teaspoon baking soda
1 Cup Milk
1 Egg
2 Tbsp Amber Ale
6 Cups Neutral Fry Oil
2 Tbsp Dark Sesame oil
Instructions:
Rinse and pat dry fillets, cutting them into 3in x 1in fingers. Keep cold until ready to fry.
Whisk together batter ingredients until smooth and w/ no chunks. Rest batter for fifteen minutes.
Combine the flour with the salt, pepper, and cayenne for dry coating.
Use wet hand/dry hand method, dusting fish in dry ingredients and immediately submerging it in the batter. Shake off excess batter, then submerge in oil between 350-375 degrees F (only fill halfway!).
3-4 Minutes to Fry, or until Golden Brown & Crispy.
Serve w/ Tartar Sauce, Chips, Mushy Peas, Malt Vinegar.
Description: 9' long wooden shaft, with a 13" steel spear point. Notes:Supposedly the the peak of melee weapons for Infantry for quite a long time, entire tactics had to be developed to deal with Pike formations. In your case, however, it's little more than a long and very pointy stick. Lethal, if you can find the space to maneuver with it. Recipient:SB04 - Bethan Gayle
Description: A 12 Gauge, Pump-Action Shotgun. Barrel has been cut down to eighteen inches. Stock folds for easy stowage and/or concealment. Holds four shells in the magazine, and one in the chamber. Ammunition is 3" Magnum 00 Buckshot. Notes:There's nothing quite so reliable and brutal as a twelve-gauge, is there? This one comes courtesy of the Miami-Dade County Police Department. Recipient:SB08 - Virginia Burns
SPP-1 Underwater Pistol
Description: A four-barreled underwater firearm designed for use by Soviet frogmen. Fires 4.5" steel darts using conventional gunpowder cartridges, in contrast to the H&K P11. Is reloaded through a break-action mechanism. Is quite inaccurate out of the water, as the barrels are not rifled—the projectiles can only maintain ballistic stability in water. Notes:I have to confess, I did take this fishing. It worked about as well as you'd expect. I'd advise using it at close range, or under the surface of the water. Those darts have a tendency to tumble and spin after a certain distance, unfortunately. This gun is a very specific tool, designed for a very specific job. Recipient: Not Issued!
Scepter of the Supreme Crab Image unavailable.
Description: A four-foot long staff, fashioned in the shape of an enormous crustacean limb. A magnificent Alaskan King Crab is carved into the head of the staff, wearing a tiny little crown. Notes:Special thanks to Suzanne Burton of Anchorage, Alaska for this astonishing work of art. I don't know if it's a symbol of some obscure crab religion, or just a fine example of a healthy cottage industry all the way up there. Praise be to the Supreme Crab! Recipient:MM10 - Hannah Choi
Scuba Gear
Description: A full set of scuba diving gear, including a mask, snorkel, breathing apparatus, oxygen tank, and flippers. Comes with a basic set of instructions. Notes:A diver sent us some of his old gear, and we included most of it in your draw. I'm not sure how much use you'll get out of the whole kit, but I can think of all kinds of nefarious shit you could do with the oxygen tank. I'm excited to see what you'll come up with. Recipient:ES04 - Leonard Kenter
Sedgley Glove Gun
Description: An OSS close-combat weapon. A leather glove with an impact-actuated gun mounted to the top of the hand. A closed-fist strike will set off a .38 Caliber pistol cartridge, firing the bullet into the target at point blank range. Comes with 200 grain .38 ammunition, and is reloaded with a simple break action. Notes:It shoots someone as you punch them. How cool is that? Recipient:CK03 - Leslie Lowell
Ship in a Bottle
Description: A small model ship inside an old, empty rum bottle. Comes with a wooden mounting base. Notes:These things are sort of iconic, aren't they? Shame you'll probably have to break the bottle to make any use out of it. Recipient:MM08 - Carol Hong
Small Bag of Cocaine
Description: A small plastic bag containing several grams of pure, uncut Cocaine. Notes:You Miami kids should be familiar with this, no? I was pushing to give you guys a key of the stuff, but the producers insisted on a smaller bag. More for me and my team, I guess. Don't do it all at once. Or do, it'll be funny either way. Recipient:JL04 - Seth Dunn
Smith and Wesson Model 500
Description: A massive revolver, chambered in .500 Smith and Wesson, the most powerful production handgun cartridge in the world. Has a 6.5" barrel and fires from a five-shot cylinder. Has rubber grips and an integral compensator to manage recoil, which is nevertheless quite extreme. Weighs about four pounds fully loaded. Notes:This thing is just unparalleled. It's more than four times as energetic as a .44 Magnum, and twice as powerful as a .50 AE coming out of a Desert Eagle. It's closer to a rifle round, and punishes the shooter in about every way you'd expect. As the armorer for SOTF-TV, it behooves me to be really into guns, and I am—and I still don't really enjoy shooting this. Maybe it's my age, maybe I'm just not enough of a masochist to like how my wrist feels afterwards. Best advice I can give: hang on tight. And don't worry about whoever's on the other side of it—this thing can down a grizzly bear, so it's not gonna have trouble with a teenager. Or anyone standing behind that teenager, for that matter. Recipient:SB05 - Lucille Mendoza
Sodegarami
Description: A seven foot long polearm with dozens of sharp metal barbs at the end of the pole, leading up to a clawed steel head. Utilized as a man-catcher in feudal Japan, it was meant to assist in apprehending criminals with a minimum of injury, the barbs serving to make it difficult for a foe to get a decent grip on the weapon. Notes:This may have been intended for apprehension rather than outright murder, but it's really hard to look at the thing and not think of all the nasty shit those spikes could do. Oh, and our smith sharpened them too, in case you haven't accidentally prodded yourself or anyone else with it already. "Sleeve-catcher" my ass. Recipient:SS02 - Kamille Rémy Martel
Spyglass
Description: Modern, retro-styled spotting scope that provides 12x magnification with a 105' field of view at 1000'. 30mm Objective Lens provides a reasonably crisp image. Collapses to fit easily in a pocket or carrying case. Weighs a little over a pound. Notes:What's that I see on the horizon? Teenagers squandering the few genuinely useful tools we issued out? God, I hope not. This could help you spot targets for allies with long-ranged weapons, or to take a close look at where you're going before you get there. Or maybe you'll just use it to play sailor before someone guts you. Recipient:MM03 - Elliott-Blair Østergaard
Steel Ball Bearings
Description: A burlap sack containing four hundred 20mm steel ball bearings. Weighs about thirty pounds in total. Notes:Balls. Recipient:BC11 - Lark Wilson
Steel Chain
Description: Two yards of thick-gauge steel chain, with threaded fasteners at each end. Notes:A simple, but effective staple of street fights and prison riots the world over. Recipient:SS06 - Oliver Sheffield
Tannerite Binary Explosive
Description: 5lbs of Tannerite Binary Explosive, pre-mixed in two separate 2.5lb containers. Is a generally inert explosive, unless exposed to extreme shock. Is used primarily for long-distance rifle targets, as it is designed to be set off through impact with a high-velocity projectile. Will not detonate if exposed to fire or electrical discharge. Notes:The most boom I was able to sneak past the producers. It's enough to lay low a pickup truck, but that all depends on how you use it. Out in the open, it's not going to do a whole lot of damage. You've got to combine it with some kind of debris or shrapnel, or find a way to set it off in an enclosed space. You'll have to set it off with gunfire too, 'cause this stuff is really stable—you could wail on it with a hammer all day or throw it into a fire, and nothing would happen. Recipient:JL10 - Laura Hakštok
Ten Kills, One Life by Jewel Evans
Description: A paperback copy of "Ten Kills, One Life" by Jewel Evans, inscribed: "Now it's your turn. Good luck. Remember: you can do it. Read pages 125-131. – JE" Standard mass-market paperback size, 260 pages. Notes:The recent memoir from Season 66 co-winner—and Season 67 mentor—Jewel Evans combines personal reflection with accounts of her killings, and has been hailed by critics as a stunning literary debut. Available now wherever books are sold, for the low price of $9.99, you can follow along at home.
Mr. McKean's contract obliges production to note that he did not author or endorse this message. Recipient:ES11 - Olivia del Rio
Tremendous Spoon
Description: A stainless steel spoon approximately 4' long. Notes:This spoon is too big! Recipient:JL05 - Beau Lively
Titanic-Shaped Ice Cube Mold
Description: A plastic ice cube mold in the shape of the ill-fated RMS Titanic. Notes:I'm gonna be honest, I just pulled this out of the office freezer. I mean it's a funny bit of irony, but you know what's funnier? Watching you realize this is your weapon draw! Recipient:ES02 - Giselle Filmore
Trident (Gum)
Description: A single pack of Original Flavor Trident Chewing Gum. Notes:I mean, you might be able to make some friends with these. Recipient:MM12 - Maxine Schwimmer
Trident (Polearm)
Description:6' steel rod with ten inch trident blade at one end. Two rubber grips provide a gripping surface for the weapon. Notes:Personally, I think this is one of the best of the weapons in the "big pointy stick" category. It's all steel from end to end. A bit heavier, sure, but at least it won't snap on you. Make like an angry sea god, and skewer somebody with it. Recipient:MM09 - Alyssa Tibbett
Umbrella
Description: A basic blue umbrella, with a wooden handle and aluminum spokes held in place with a simple push-button mechanism. Notes:Good for keeping out of the rain, or as an ad-hoc bludgeon. Open it indoors to rile up the superstitious among you. Recipient:SS04 - Mandy Gross
WASP Injection Knife
Description: Combat knife with a five inch blade featuring a drop point edge opposite a serrated edge. Handle contains a port for a C02 canister, activated by a button on the hilt. This weapon is designed to cause additional trauma following an initial stab by the injection of compressed air, which creates a secondary wound channel around the initial stab wound. Secondary effect is that this enables easy removal of a knife from a wound, should it get stuck. Comes with replacement C02 canisters. Notes:Nobody I worked with back in the day would've carried something like this in the field. Too much of a gimmick, and comes with more kit that nobody wanted to bother having to think about. Think of it as a knife first, and anything else second. That said, if you care about ratings and sending a message with a kill, you'll love this. I hope you're not squeamish around blood. Recipient:MM02 - Sarah Lillian Whitlock
Webley & Scott Mark III Flare Pistol
Description: A single-shot, break open flare pistol dated to 1916. Fires 1" signal flares out of steel cases marked "CARTRIDGE SIGNAL 1 INCH, RED." Flares can cause serious injury if used as a direct-fire weapon, and can start fires if combustible material is present. Chemical composition of reloaded flares allows them to burn underwater for a time, though the gun will not itself fire underwater as the steel cases are not completely sealed to the elements. Notes:According to my daughter, this thing is "steampunk as fuck." I hope that means more to you than it does to me! All I know is, this is a real good way to set fires or cause a distraction, and I'm pretty sure it would suck to get hit with one of those flares. We loaded the shells ourselves, but this thing is still an antique. Look after it, and it might look after you. Recipient:SB12 - Shosanna Kowalczyk
Wheel of Authentic Parmigiano-Reggiano Cheese
Description: A large wheel of authentic Parmesan cheese. Weighs approximately seventy-five pounds. Notes:Courtesy of a fan who had this shipped all the way from Italy. I don't think they intended that we use it as a weapon, actually. After I dug this thing outta the packaging I thought to myself, "Damn this is heavy, I bet you could kill someone with it." And here we are. Recipient:SB07 - Luanne Grasset
Wire Garotte
Description: OSS Issue Wire Garrote, dated 1944. Was issued to covert operations units as a means of silently eliminating enemy personnel. Barbed wire is fixed to a pair of metal rings that allow the user to maintain a grip on the weapon. Notes:We could've just issued a modern garrote, but this one came courtesy of the same folks who got us a bunch of other OSS gear. Any weapon like this is gonna cause some gnarly wounds when you're choking a person out with it, but the wire on this old model is actually quite sharp. I figure a sufficiently motivated person could maybe tear most of the way through someone's neck with it. For the record, my team and I hope this weapon helps you find your motivation out there. Recipient:ES10 - Akeno Kudo
Zabala 10 Gauge Shotgun
Description: A ten gauge double barreled shotgun, with a sawed-off, custom grip and 19" barrels. Ammunition is 3.5" Magnum 00 Buckshot. Notes:This shotgun is just super. Twelve Gauges are easy enough to find, but tens have fallen outta fashion in the last couple of years. I did manage to find one, and I turned it into a sawed-off for fun. Hang on tight, this thing's a motherfucking demon. Recipient:CK10 - Rhonda Rollins
ZapCane
Description: A walking cane with an integrated electrical "stun-stick" built into the end, with electrodes covering the lower quarter of the cane. Device is activated by a small trigger in the handle, and provides a one million volt shock should an attacker be touched with the electrodes—non-lethal, but induces extreme pain and muscle spasms. Activation of the electrodes is also particularly loud, similar to a conventional stun gun. Cane also includes a powerful LED Flashlight in the handle. Notes:Some mall ninja out of New Jersey sent this to us, along with a rambling fourteen page letter extolling the virtues of this weapon, as well as something of a manifesto about how he was slowly turning himself into a powerful cybernetic killing machine, and that he no longer had use for such "pedestrian means of self-defense." Feedback from jabbing interns with it tells me it's a serviceable stun stick at best, but absolutely you won't fool anyone into thinking it's just a cane. Recipient:MM11 - Hailey Thompson
Zip Ties
Description: One hundred and fifty black, plastic Zip-Ties sealed in a clear, nondescript plastic bag. Notes:A useful resource for both the pacifists and the sadists among us. Recipient:CK01 - Kurt Thorne
Zip 22
Description: An unconventional .22 Caliber handgun of American origin, the USFA Zip 22 was produced in small numbers, before backlash on account of its notorious unreliability and poor build quality led to the demise of its manufacturer.
Notes:To load the chamber, you need to press down on a pair of plungers towards the front of the gun. This means putting your fingers dangerously close to the muzzle. It is safest to fire the gun left handed, because firing it right handed would obscure the ejection port. That is, assuming one is able to figure out exactly how to hold it comfortably. It has no mechanical means of ejecting the cartridges, they are meant to simply fall out of the chamber through the energy of firing alone. Naturally, this means that they tend to just get stuck in the action, assuming that it doesn’t jam. Which it does, almost all of the time.
The Zip 22 is unequivocally, the worst gun I have ever laid eyes upon. It was designed by some bored, rich idiot with confounding notions of what made a weapon safe, reliable, or even useful. This gun was so bad it bankrupted his company. There’s a certain expectation that one of you might actually kill someone with any gun we hand out, but in this case I'd be actually impressed if you managed to do so. Good luck.
