We Need A Word

[Somersault]

((Yvonne Barnett Before The End))

Church was always nice. It always helped to soothe Yvonne, help her feel like she was part of something bigger, helped her drown out the voices inside, the ones that screamed to be heard, to be answered. It quelled them, and instead made her believe  that change could happen, that it was gonna come. Happy thoughts, that what it was. It gave her pretty happy thoughts.

Ones of prayer, ones of serenity. If she could just hold onto that, she'd be set.

But, today was different. She didn't really know exactly how, but it felt something was off, in a sense. She still went to church, dragged Brittany and Eliza along with her, but it felt like she was just going through the motions. When they exited the pews at the end of the service, there was no feeling of release from greater sin. Just felt like more weight was being stacked up on her, crushing her.

That was definitely something to be worried about, wasn't it? Just like the whiteheads that began appearing on her forehead once more, just after she thought they were starting to clear. Like, they had just cleared up a week ago, starting to clear. This was not fair in any sense of the word. She guessed she'd have to add buying acne cream or something to her mental to-do list, right after looking up some new horoscopes.

Thinking in circles seemed to be the order of the day, after all. How else could she have ended up in a park in the middle of winter, sitting on a bench?

Boredom, probably. Looking up from her phone, she took a minute to take in the whole moment, viewing the landscape of Denver in November. It was pretty cool, the fact that rhymed, but nothing really useful. At least the view was semi-pretty, though. She could always just settle for that. It wasn't as if Yvonne hadn't settled on a million other things before, anyways.

Sitting up from her spot on the bench, she was just about to take her leave when she thought she spotted someone. Someone from school. Would saying hi be the best option here?

No harm in trying, she guessed, even if that wasn't true like 99 percent of the time. She waved at the mystery person, although she guessed if she squinted she'd be able to make out more of their features.

"Hey, how's it going?"

Something simple, something light. Talking was better than not talking. That was a fact.

[Brackie]

Nani Clover was facing one of the most difficult trials she could ever face on a Sunday.

She had a zit beneath her chin.

Like an idiot, she had tried squeezing it the moment she saw it, but it only became redder and angrier, like a wild beast. When it became clear it was not going to pop of its own volition, she begged her mom for some money and ran almost fully head-down to the nearest drugstore. The pharmacist helped her pick out the best acne solution, which was currently sitting in a small, neat paper bag inside a bigger plastic bag around her wrist. The security guard at the small shopping center seemed to have his eye on her, but she smiled and carried the receipt prominently and pretended he was not a problem to her. She was thinking of positive solutions today.

On the walk back, she held her head in a similar manner. The odds of running into someone she knew from school on a day like this where everyone was either at church, studying at home, or hanging out anywhere but she was, were quite high, but she wanted to take every precaution. If she could just make it home-

"Hey, how's it going?"

Crap. Yvonne was here, sitting on a bench she was just about to walk past. Nani froze to the spot, her head at an awkward angle. She was friends with Yvonne - Nani was friends with anyone who treated her just as well as she wanted to treat everyone around her - but she really just wanted to get home and not have anyone see the pulsating bump on her neckline. But it was against who she was to just walk past and ignore her. Hopefully this wouldn't take too long.

Nani lifted her face up slightly and met Yvonne's gaze. She smiled, moving her hand to her neck and chin in what she hoped was a subtle maneuver to cover her pimple.

"Hey, Von Von, pretty great, just enjoyin' the day, y'know? Howzit' with you?"

[Somersault]

The figure turned around, and it was Nani. Nani! Yvonne probably should have been more excited about that, considering that Nani was probably one of her closest friends at NSA, even if she kind of disapproved of her being a complete and utter doormat. Like, get some backbone, girl! Well, some backbone. Too much and she'd end up getting anything in something really crappy. That woudn't be great, not for anyone at all, even if it would've been so satisfying to do something like that, just sink in.

Oh, wait. Yes, she was talking about Nani. She tilted her head at the other girl quizzically, inspecting her face in more detail. She was holding her head kind of oddly, but she wasn't going to go ask about that. Not yet. "Day's been pretty good, actually." She said, untying her hair. "Went to church, which was great, but I've started to get another of those outbreaks, ya know?"

Not that she was going to go point out where they exactly where they were on her face, and if she wasn't going to notice where they were, Yvonne was cool with that. More than cool, actually. If she couldn't notice them, that meant they must have obviously not have been as noticeable as she had thought, which was great news.

Or, Nani was just being nice to her to spare her feelings. She made a small frown at that thought.

To be totally honest, Yvonne wouldn't have been surprised if Nani had done something like that, but believing that the acne wasn't actually as noticeable was a lot better for her self-esteem , so she chose to believe in that instead. Was a much nicer thing to ponder.

As she began to re-tie her hair, having made sure her hair was neat (or at least as neat as it could be), her mind wandered. Was there anything else she had forgotten to do today? Acne cream, horoscopes! Horoscopes. That's what it was, what she needed to do. Guessed they could wait for now, though. Didn't really need to hand out advice to Nani.

Idly rubbing the back of her head a bit, she smiled. "So, know what brand of cream to get? I like tend to vary a lot, but sticking with one might be a better choice, I think. Thoughts?"

[Brackie]

As much as Nani loved talking to Yvonne, this was a really awkward conversation.

There was a reason Nani was slightly bizarrely contorted like a body crammed into a meat locker right now, and that was that she didn't like showing off her flaws or acknowledging them, even around people she could be open with. So when Yvonne started openly discussing her own acne, it didn't make Nani feel better about her own - it just made her feel bad for both of them.

She supposed she should have been used to this from Yvonne. Homegirl was great to be around, but when she was a downer, she was one hell of a downer.

"Oh, I dunno sis, usually just think it's all a bunch a poho, ya know? Just let it roll as it comes, eat whatever you like, and it if happens then whatever?"

The hand holding the bag of cream was by her waist, and it tightened slightly.

"Why donchu just go in an' ask anyway? Its their job to help you an' all, plus it doesn't hurt to get help from a profesh."

[Somersault]

It was a really good idea that Nani just suggested, going in and asking, but Yvonne just felt that going in would just magnify her acne or something. Not that they would actually get bigger, but just that it'd feel like everyone was staring at her, looking at the bumps on her skin, the whiteheads on her forehead, and it just made her feel really uncomfortable.

"I know, I know, I really should go, but I just get really nervous and stuff. Feels like everyone's watching me."

Most times, she felt like she would rather manage to melt into the wall and never be seen again, and asking would mean everyone's eyes were on her, and that was really stressful. Procrastinating without doing anything was bad, but maybe she was just naturally a glass half-empty person?

It would've been nice to be able to just hope like Nani did, believing that with hard work, things could happen, but that couldn't really happen, could it? Living life and just taking it as it was just seemed like the opposite of what Yvonne did most days; being able to just sit and smile and not secretly glare at people internally seemed like a great way to live life, really, but she wasn't sure if she could ever live like that.

Not that what was happening here was all that serious. It was just acne, and it was just two friends talking, but it still was sorta stressful.

She frowned. "Maybe, you're right, though. Just get really self-conscious and all. Wish I could be carefree like that."

[Brackie]

"Nah sis, it's totally fine fo' you to feel like that," Nani replied. It was totally natural for any teenage girl to feel like the whole world was watching and judging them, and Nani was like that most of the time anyway. During her better moments, she remembered that everyone else was just as stressed and insecure as her, even her more loud and boisterous classmates.

"If it makes you feel any better doe, just remember nobody at the pharmacy is there for sight-seein', they all have problems too. They juss' all wanna get in an' get out, hah."

Nani adjusted her neck to a slightly less awkward position, but still a position that guarded her pimple from view.

"Plus who care if anyone sees you? There's like half a mill' people here in this here city, Von Von. Probably never gonna see them again even if they do."

[Somersault]

"Denver is a pretty big city, but still..." But still, what? Yvonne didn't really know, actually, but it was if there was this chain around her, stopping her from getting the exact words out, instead throwing it into a pile of mush and into a blender and hoping that it wouldn't turn out disgusting.  The hesitation was still there, and at this point if it would disappear that quickly.

She bit her lip, wincing at the jolt of pain that came after. It didn't hurt that much, but she was still searching for something to say. Something to make it feel like she wasn't just rambling about meaningless things, just sitting as winter continued to rage on and on and on.

"Like, what if someone like Morgan sees me? Someone who's a jerk?"

The first words were things that she had just blurted out of her mouth, coming out and out like a nervous waterfall. Maybe it was her own inner paranoia, but maybe she just had to hope. Had to think of something different?

She tried a different smile now, something still weak, but something that seemed a bit okay. At least to others. "Sorta off-topic, I know, but Christmas plans? Bit early, but it's still exciting, right?" That wasn't a very deft switch of topic, but maybe dwelling on acne was not the way to go.

[Brackie]

Nani wasn't sure if she was putting Yvonne out of her comfort zone, but it just so happened to be about a topic she was deeply enthusiastic about at the moment and had all the pertinent knowledge to help someone else with.

But Yvonne seemed to want to move things forward, so she let it happen. She went with the flow, not wanting to upset her friend or make her truly uncomfortable.

"Christmas? Oh y'know, ma, we're gonna be having a whole buncha the fam' up from all around the coast - there's heaps of us all over, y'know so we're gonna see if we can all stick together without blowin' up again, y'know? Can't wait, it'll be pretty anu, an' you?"

All throughout, she couldn't really feel as comfortable as she wanted to. Her hand and neck were still positioned.