Poolside Chat

[Polybius]

Anvi stared into the camera lens. The camera was a small thing, attached to the side of a rusty outdoor shower next to the empty pool. When she concentrated, blocked out the sound of the waves from the nearby shore, she could hear it gently whirring. She doubt she would have noticed the camera if she hadn't specifically been looking for it. She stood up and walked over to sit on another chair, the camera turning to follow her movement. She continued to stare.

This was bullshit.

She was being broadcasted to the entire American population. She could tell them all, right now, about what an idiotic, facist, backwards, racist society they were living in. About how they were all morons willing to cheer on their military as it massacred their own children for vague bullshit reasons. She could tell them stuff that had come out in the international press over the years, secrets and atrocities that they weren't allowed to know. It would be useless, of course they wouldn't fucking listen to her, but she wanted to do it.

She knew what could happen if she did, though. Anvi had watched clips of the program on the internet. They were hard to find, classified as illegal to view or possess, but she found them anyway. You couldn't claim to fully understand the scope of an atrocity without personal contact. Just looking at detached news reports and wiki articles allowed you to detach yourself from it, dismiss it. It was sickening, but she had to see it. Some of the more popular and rage-inducing clips were those of program victims being shot on the spot for speaking against America. If she spoke that would probably happen to her. Maybe. Maybe they would just let her do it, but then they'd parade the video around, mock it as the ramblings stupid crazed Indian British girl.

If they did kill her though, it would be worth it. Sure she would be dead, and the American public would dismiss her, but her rant would still be out there. Adams would be forced to acknowledge her. Maybe, just maybe, one or two disenfranchised people would see it and start to think critically about their government. She was going to die anyway, if not today then definitely tomorrow or the day after. If she got herself killed for speaking against injustice it would be a better death than anything else she could hope for in the program. There wasn't really any reason for her not to do it.

But she didn't. Anvi just stared at the camera. The words didn't come.

So fucking stupid, Anvi. God damn it.

[Polybius]

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

She had always considered herself brave. Never been afraid to speak her mind. Until now, until this moment when it actually mattered.

What was she supposed to do, then?

No, fuck this. She was thinking about this all wrong. Speaking out and getting killed for it couldn't be her best option left. There had to be something else. She couldn't let them win. They couldn't get the best of her. She still had her life, and she could do something with it.

((Anvi Parekh continued elsewhere))