Born Backwards

#1

((Oliver Davies))

Oliver had been up until 2am purposefully enraging people on a FIFA gaming forum when he had to get up at 6am, which wasn't the wisest move all things considered. But still, the thrill of pretending he was a quisling for the impending U.S. world domination to horrified fellow Brits online was worth more than the impending attempt to wake up.

He slammed his fist down on the cheap alarm with a large groan. The first attempt to pull himself from bed was a failure, but the next attempt five minutes later when the shrill beeps felt even louder was a success. He had to be at school, unfortunately, because he wasn't a moron learning how to be a plumber or an electrician for a living, he was actually going to attend university and make a difference in someone's life besides being menial. He was lucky in that he managed to drag himself down the hall and the bathroom was free - Ellie either hadn't woken up yet or she was done already and hogging breakfast downstairs - so he could groom himself with abandon. Good thing too, the teachers always picked on him for not shaving properly or his hair getting too long, like he was in boot camp or prison or something; they always had it out for him, mostly because of who he hung out with. Wasn't his fault he had great friends and they were teachers, therefore having none.

The electric razor's charger wasn't working, so he had to use the manual one. He wasn't used to it, and he probably missed a patch under his chin, but at least he didn't cut his neck open like he always used to. He styled his hair as he always did, checking up on the last breakout he had last week which was finally fading away, and grabbed a used glass from under the sink, washing it out and filling it up again. He pulled out his packet of Forza pills from within his toiletries bag, popped one in his mouth, and downed it so he could get some concentration going during the day. Without those caffeine pills, he'd probably have crashed out sometime around Lower Sixth.

The rest was a breeze - mum had done the laundry the night before so his uniform was all done, he redid his hair afterward again, and finally Oliver was ready to have breakfast.

Ellie was already up, of course, sitting at her end of the table with the makeup of a tart, phone in one hand and a fork with a slice of tomato in the other. She glanced up as Oliver walked in, but just as quickly returned to texting. Mum was up as well, since she didn't start work until after they'd already started school, nursing a cup of coffee with the paper beneath it, pen in her hand working on the crossword.

"Morning honey."

Oliver walked past his family to the fridge, barely acknowledging the two women in his life. He opened the fridge, expecting to see the orange juice but instead seeing nothing.

"Ellie, where's the orange juice?"

"No idea," Ellie replied, pouring herself a glass of orange juice. She seemed intent on finishing it off, but Oliver jumped forward and grabbed her wrist, the box soon following.

"This whole house doesn't revolve around you, ya know."

"Well that's rich coming from the only person in this house mum still does washing for."

With no real response to a very real accusation, Oliver stormed across to his seat at the table and sulked into his seat. He grabbed the stack of fried tomato slices from the middle of the table and piled half of them onto his plate, following it up with grabbing two slices of bread and walking over to the toaster.

"Oh, by the way mum I need some money for school, they're taking my class on an excursion today."

Oliver rolled his eyes. The translated version of that sentence said 'Bryan's taking me out tonight and I need new accessories'.

"Yeah of course hun, I'll get you something from my wallet before you both head off."

Mum was always way too proud of when her children had boyfriends or girlfriends, something about "realizing their youth" or some other artist bull she probably picked up from the weirdos who worked with her. Of course, it was always Ellie who benefited, since Oliver had never had a girlfriend before and probably wouldn't until University at the earliest. There was that time Mattie pretended around the family so he could benefit, but things got weird when she actually got a boyfriend. Oliver just let that quietly fade away rather than confirm he'd been lying.

Ellie was actually really getting on his nerves right now. They normally got on a lot better, but she was being unusually bratty and he was unusually tired. Maybe he could piss her off more than normal.

"You really shouldn't be so proud that Ellie's getting on with someone older than me, mum."

"Nonsense dear, she's perfectly old enough to make the right choices."

"Oh, so you're okay with a 19-year-old fucking your daughter."

Oliver was still occupied with the toaster, but he recognized the distinct sound of Ellie choking on a piece of sausage anywhere. After a few coughs, he was suddenly hit in the back of the head by a piece of buttered toast, a move which was also distinctly Ellie.

"How FUCKING dare-"

"Oh come off it Elle, I'm not a moron, I know what goes on in your life more than they do-"

"You don't know a FUCKING-"

"KIDS."

Mum had placed aside her newspaper and coffee and was now staring daggers at her son.

"Firstly Ellie, don't use that language around me. Second of all Oliver, I won't have you saying that stuff about Ellie, she is your sister and you'll treat her with respect."

"Mum I-"

"Apologize, now."

Ellie looked triumphant from her spot across the kitchen, even though Oliver had technically won. He rolled his eyes regardless and honeyed his voice.

"I'm sorry, Ellie."

For pointing out the fucking obvious.

"And there we go, now can was please have some quiet while we eat breakfast?"

Almost on queue, Oliver's toast popped up, and he retrieved it and slathered it in margarine before he even returned to his seat.

The silence lasted under a minute, and Oliver was halfway through his toast when an incensed Ellie piped up again.

"The only reason you're complaining is you're jealous that none of my friends want to fuck you anyway."

Now it was Oliver's turn to choke on his food, from a comment that caught him completely off guard. He coughed the piece of toast back up before spitting angrily back at his sister.

"FUCK OFF YOU RETARD!"

"YOU'RE THE FUCKING RETARD YOU PIECE-"

A loud slam came from the centre of the table as Oliver and Ellie's mother finally had it.

"Right, that's enough! Oliver, enjoy using razors for a month because we're not buying you that new charger."

"But mum-"

"And Ellie, you're not going on that class excursion, and if I found out you were anywhere but school or home today there will be hell to pay."

"Mum what-"

"And if either of you say another word I swear to Christ I will send you both off to the army right this very second and you'll be begging to come back after five minutes, now have I made myself clear?"

Oliver didn't have access to his mum's entire world, so he had no idea what was going on in her life that would suddenly cause her to develop a spine when it came to parenting. That being said, he didn't feel like pressing the matter, and neither did Ellie, so they resolved to glare daggers at each other for the rest of breakfast. Eventually, however, the quiet caused both of them to turn their attention to their phones.

--

[+] A text message exchange twenty minutes later told a story.

[+] Ell: what's up her ass?

[+] Ol: dunno but we probably shouldn't have been swearing in front of her, probably pushed it lol

[+] Ell: yeah probably
anyways you picking up me and claire from soccer tonight?

[+] Ol: yeah sure

[+] Ell: cool catch you then

[+] Ol: catch you then retard

[+] Ell: lol fuck off