((Audrey McKee continued from Earthen Spirit))
Her lips went pale as she pressed them together, trying to still the chatter of her teeth. It wasn't that cold, and the rain had stopped long ago, but it was clear to her that the bodies hadn't stopped piling up.
Her feet moved, past the corpse of Dan Orvall.
Audrey had run, at first, because she'd needed to know if Shawn was telling the truth. It'd seemed urgent. It was in the heat of the moment that she'd made the decision to come, and now she was wondering how compromised she'd gotten. Maybe she'd gotten more attached to Frank than she should have. Maybe it was too late to regret that.
Past Maxim, who'd threatened and had a gun but hadn't even made it this far. She took one look at his mangled face and had to look away.
She was taking it slow, looking for movement. Moving in the shadows when she could, half-thinking that she could still turn back, flee back into the trees if she had to. She could still forget this, go back to survival. Easier, safer. She still didn't want to die.
Maybe she was getting closer, or maybe she still had a long way to go. Shawn hadn't exactly given directions, and maybe he hadn't been running away in a straight line, either.
But she came across them soon enough. Ashley, a little closer, Frank, a little farther. She was shaking, she realized, and it wasn't from the cold any more than her teeth chattering had been from the cold. She passed Ashley, took a few more steps. Finally knelt.
"Hey, Frank." Her voice was shaky, too. Funny how that worked.
She felt like she should say something else, something important. Nothing came.
She would have loved to place blame, maybe feel vengeful or angry instead of empty, and well, a little sad. But he'd killed people and someone had killed him back, and he hadn't gotten to the end, and... she was still here. Now he was gone and wasn't competition. Now she would never get to figure out exactly how he had felt about her, or what he had meant when he had hinted that he'd look out for her. Now, she could mourn.
And for a few seconds, she let herself do so.
It hit her hard, then. The reason, stupid. The reason. Frank killed people, somebody killed him. Ashley, Shawn, almost everyone else, they were all dead. Okay. In the end, just a lot of dead kids. And for what? Nothing?
Her eyes narrowed, staring at the fabric of his varsity jacket and yet seeing nothing.
All this time, wandering around, thinking in maybes and survivals and hoping to never run into anyone she knew well, and all for what? No, no more putting it off and hoping for the answer to come to her. She had to think, because it was really damn important.
Remnants
Remnants
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So what was the reason? What was the answer she was looking for?
The military jerk had said something about traitors, back in the very beginning, that the number of students taken was equal to the number of traitors caught. It would do as a starting point.
Treason. Things like trying to kill the General, slandering America... trying to escape from the Program. And she remembered the gunshots, the classmates who had died before the Program had even started. They'd opted out, and now she didn't even remember who they had been. She really hadn't known any of them as well as she thought she did, had she?
Audrey sniffed once.
Focus.
She balled her fists, feeling her nails dig into her exposed palm.
Obedience, then. Discipline. Patriotism. Keeping people in line, because America wouldn't be able to defeat its enemies otherwise. That made sense. Well, a little bit, as much as anything. Surely there were better ways if that was the case, though. Military service was decent for that purpose already, making sure that everybody served the country.
Always better ways. Room for improvement. The American Dream, wasn't it - room for improvement? A way to move up in the world?
She was onto something here.
Kyle had said he couldn't see a reason. That there was only blood. It was so easy to stop there, then, and give up. The reason seemed out of their grasp as they stood in the middle of the fighting and hunting and dying. And why? Another realization. Because they were inside the Program. They couldn't see the big picture.
It was hard to see the reason from the inside. She could make up dozens of different reasons, some better, some worse, but she would never really know the true reason.
Unless- unless she wasn't on the inside anymore.
She stood, then, her pack seeming heavier than ever. Looked down at Frank, and wondered what sort of reason he'd found to keep going until he had been stopped. A little selfishly, she wondered if it had been something to do with her.
Didn't matter, or if it did matter, it mattered less than what she was going to do next. She was going to make sure that he- that all of them didn't die for nothing.
"See you in the afterlife," she said, her voice quiet, gentle in the heavy silence. She didn't bend down again, didn't touch him, didn't take anything of his. His bag and his gun weren't there, anyway. More than that, he was gone, and it seemed wrong to disturb the shell he'd left behind.
Audrey walked away.
She hadn't found the reason. Not really. But she'd found something better.
((Audrey McKee continued in Semper Fi))
The military jerk had said something about traitors, back in the very beginning, that the number of students taken was equal to the number of traitors caught. It would do as a starting point.
Treason. Things like trying to kill the General, slandering America... trying to escape from the Program. And she remembered the gunshots, the classmates who had died before the Program had even started. They'd opted out, and now she didn't even remember who they had been. She really hadn't known any of them as well as she thought she did, had she?
Audrey sniffed once.
Focus.
She balled her fists, feeling her nails dig into her exposed palm.
Obedience, then. Discipline. Patriotism. Keeping people in line, because America wouldn't be able to defeat its enemies otherwise. That made sense. Well, a little bit, as much as anything. Surely there were better ways if that was the case, though. Military service was decent for that purpose already, making sure that everybody served the country.
Always better ways. Room for improvement. The American Dream, wasn't it - room for improvement? A way to move up in the world?
She was onto something here.
Kyle had said he couldn't see a reason. That there was only blood. It was so easy to stop there, then, and give up. The reason seemed out of their grasp as they stood in the middle of the fighting and hunting and dying. And why? Another realization. Because they were inside the Program. They couldn't see the big picture.
It was hard to see the reason from the inside. She could make up dozens of different reasons, some better, some worse, but she would never really know the true reason.
Unless- unless she wasn't on the inside anymore.
She stood, then, her pack seeming heavier than ever. Looked down at Frank, and wondered what sort of reason he'd found to keep going until he had been stopped. A little selfishly, she wondered if it had been something to do with her.
Didn't matter, or if it did matter, it mattered less than what she was going to do next. She was going to make sure that he- that all of them didn't die for nothing.
"See you in the afterlife," she said, her voice quiet, gentle in the heavy silence. She didn't bend down again, didn't touch him, didn't take anything of his. His bag and his gun weren't there, anyway. More than that, he was gone, and it seemed wrong to disturb the shell he'd left behind.
Audrey walked away.
She hadn't found the reason. Not really. But she'd found something better.
((Audrey McKee continued in Semper Fi))
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