"So, uh, what do you want to do after you graduate?"
Woah, wasn't that a bit... Morbid? Surely this'd remind him of having no chance of graduating?
Hey, who was he to judge, he'd killed people in horrible, horrible ways, and was about to kill Sean. And he had no problem with that. In fact, he had enjoye- No. He wasn't going to be the crazed villain. He was just doing what he had to do. To survive. To protect Mae.
He blinked a few times. Oh, yeah, Sean had asked him a question.
"I uh, never really thought about it, you know. I'd like to do something in engineering"
Well, that wasn't the whole truth. He knew exactly where he had wanted to work. Here. In SOTF. But, he wasn't going to say that. He didn't want to sound like he was still a fanboy. That'd be creepy.
"So, uh, what did you want to do after school?"
Drowning in a Glass Half Empty
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Frozen Smoke
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Actually, it would be almost terrifyingly appropriate in some ways.
"I uh, never really thought about it, you know. I'd like to do something in engineering. So, uh, what did you want to do after school?"
Sean sighed. "I want to study history at Rice. I mean, I know we've got guaranteed admission to Texas A&M, but...it never quite fit me, you know? I just can't see myself doing that bonfire thing. I'm not really an Aggie, you know?"
The use of the present tense is on the one hand a bit of denial and on the other a bit of defiance: He still wants these things, even if he won't get to do them. And right now, with everything set up and ready to go, he can afford to be in a state of denial. Really, he can just pretend everything is normal and they're just hanging out (however bad that turn of phrase might be just now) and let things roll as they will.
"I uh, never really thought about it, you know. I'd like to do something in engineering. So, uh, what did you want to do after school?"
Sean sighed. "I want to study history at Rice. I mean, I know we've got guaranteed admission to Texas A&M, but...it never quite fit me, you know? I just can't see myself doing that bonfire thing. I'm not really an Aggie, you know?"
The use of the present tense is on the one hand a bit of denial and on the other a bit of defiance: He still wants these things, even if he won't get to do them. And right now, with everything set up and ready to go, he can afford to be in a state of denial. Really, he can just pretend everything is normal and they're just hanging out (however bad that turn of phrase might be just now) and let things roll as they will.
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Frozen Smoke
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Ah, college. He'd thought long and hard about what college he wanted to go to. He wanted to go to the best college, so no matter what job he went in for, he'd get in.
"You know, I've always dreamt about going to MIT, you know. They seem like they have a great sense of humour. And, I know what you mean about not being an Aggie person, it just doesn't feel like my sort of thing, you know."
"You know, I've always dreamt about going to MIT, you know. They seem like they have a great sense of humour. And, I know what you mean about not being an Aggie person, it just doesn't feel like my sort of thing, you know."
"You know, I've always dreamt about going to MIT, you know. They seem like they have a great sense of humour. And, I know what you mean about not being an Aggie person, it just doesn't feel like my sort of thing, you know."
"MIT? Really?" It's not that shocking, seeing as Zach is into numbers and whatnot, but he still hadn't known. Then again, CalTech might as well have been on the list...or Johns Hopkins, or any of a number of cool technical schools or places with good math/engineering programs. "What do you want to major in? I mean, I know you want to do engineering, but as a major?"
"MIT? Really?" It's not that shocking, seeing as Zach is into numbers and whatnot, but he still hadn't known. Then again, CalTech might as well have been on the list...or Johns Hopkins, or any of a number of cool technical schools or places with good math/engineering programs. "What do you want to major in? I mean, I know you want to do engineering, but as a major?"
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Frozen Smoke
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"What do you want to major in? I mean, I know you want to do engineering, but as a major?"
"Urm, probably Nanomaterials, with a minor in Quantum Pyshics" he said, pulling two cool sounding subjects out of the air. He had no idea what he wanted to study. He was going to cross that bridge when he came to it.
He looked down at his noose. It was, finnally, done. He tested it with his hands before looking up at Sean.
"I'm sorry. It's time" he said, quietly.
"Urm, probably Nanomaterials, with a minor in Quantum Pyshics" he said, pulling two cool sounding subjects out of the air. He had no idea what he wanted to study. He was going to cross that bridge when he came to it.
He looked down at his noose. It was, finnally, done. He tested it with his hands before looking up at Sean.
"I'm sorry. It's time" he said, quietly.
"Urm, probably Nanomaterials, with a minor in Quantum Physics."
Sean grinned at the thought and took one last gulp of his soda, which was nearly empty by now...only to have the bottom fall out of his stomach at what came next.
"I'm sorry. It's time."
He took a deep breath. "Right." The trembling returned to his hands, and Sean closed his eyes.
"If you can, get the rope around my hood and above my collar." Keeping to technical details kept Sean busy still; much as he wanted to break down crying...he didn't want to be remembered as one of those kids, the ones who just couldn't take it at the end. "And...uh, tell me what you want me to do."
Sean grinned at the thought and took one last gulp of his soda, which was nearly empty by now...only to have the bottom fall out of his stomach at what came next.
"I'm sorry. It's time."
He took a deep breath. "Right." The trembling returned to his hands, and Sean closed his eyes.
"If you can, get the rope around my hood and above my collar." Keeping to technical details kept Sean busy still; much as he wanted to break down crying...he didn't want to be remembered as one of those kids, the ones who just couldn't take it at the end. "And...uh, tell me what you want me to do."
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Frozen Smoke
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He threw the rope up, onto the tree's strongest looking branch. He was thinking of, oddly enough, Tinkerbell. Or, more accurately, Alcia. He just liked to think of her as Tinkerbell, because it just seemed to fit her persona. She would hate this. Him, dessecrating a tree with a corpse. She'd probably do a ritual or some shit... He wondered what weirdass fae thing he was.
"Probably a daemon or some shit" He muttered, answering his own question as he tied another quick knot to keep it from coming off.
He picked up the noose again and wrapped it round the side of the steps leading up the diving board. He turned back to Sean, a weird cross between a reassuring smile and a sorrowful expression on his face.
He stood in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"I... Well... Do... Do you want to say goodbye?"
"Probably a daemon or some shit" He muttered, answering his own question as he tied another quick knot to keep it from coming off.
He picked up the noose again and wrapped it round the side of the steps leading up the diving board. He turned back to Sean, a weird cross between a reassuring smile and a sorrowful expression on his face.
He stood in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"I... Well... Do... Do you want to say goodbye?"
"I... Well... Do... Do you want to say goodbye?"
Sean took a deep breath. "Thanks."
And then he turned his attention to the camera he'd noticed earlier, took another deep breath, and began.
"Hey mom, dad. Look, I know you're probably wondering why I'm doing this. Why I'm...not fighting back, trying to make it home, all that. Well...I'm not going to win. I knew that well before I'd admitted it to myself...I'm just not a killer. I suppose that's a good thing, but...we all know what it means on here. They're my friends and I...I don't want to hurt them."
He looked over at Zach and smiled just a bit...
"So...this is all someone who's not killing can hope for on here, isn't it? Zach should be able to get out of here...he's got a shot and I don't. So...when he gets back to Bryan, when he comes home...he's your son, not my killer."
...and then his emotions broke down.
"Look, I wish I was coming home, you know I do..." Tears appeared in Sean's eyes as he said this, everything he'd pent up for the last bit coming out. "...and I don't want to die...but it's not like I get that choice, is it? So...this should be...well, quick and painless. But...even if it isn't, Zach's done the best he can to do this right and I've...I know it's the best I can hope for. Just remember that whatever happens, I love you so much..."
Throughout those last few paragraphs, Sean found himself sobbing and crying at what he was saying. When he finishes it, it takes him a moment to even get a passable bit of composure together: He's still sobbing, still trembling, but doing his best to get it under control.
"...I love you, Mom, Dad. Forever...for always..."
Sean couldn't have put the swirl of thoughts and memories he was feeling down if you'd given him hours and hours to jot them down and all the paper in the world to do it with. But something deep, deep inside gave him just a bit of strength to begin slowly calming himself as he slowly rose from his seat. Though his face was still streaked with tears, he was able to choke back the crying...and though he was trembling, it wasn't as bad as he'd feared it might be.
Sean took a deep breath. "Thanks."
And then he turned his attention to the camera he'd noticed earlier, took another deep breath, and began.
"Hey mom, dad. Look, I know you're probably wondering why I'm doing this. Why I'm...not fighting back, trying to make it home, all that. Well...I'm not going to win. I knew that well before I'd admitted it to myself...I'm just not a killer. I suppose that's a good thing, but...we all know what it means on here. They're my friends and I...I don't want to hurt them."
He looked over at Zach and smiled just a bit...
"So...this is all someone who's not killing can hope for on here, isn't it? Zach should be able to get out of here...he's got a shot and I don't. So...when he gets back to Bryan, when he comes home...he's your son, not my killer."
...and then his emotions broke down.
"Look, I wish I was coming home, you know I do..." Tears appeared in Sean's eyes as he said this, everything he'd pent up for the last bit coming out. "...and I don't want to die...but it's not like I get that choice, is it? So...this should be...well, quick and painless. But...even if it isn't, Zach's done the best he can to do this right and I've...I know it's the best I can hope for. Just remember that whatever happens, I love you so much..."
Throughout those last few paragraphs, Sean found himself sobbing and crying at what he was saying. When he finishes it, it takes him a moment to even get a passable bit of composure together: He's still sobbing, still trembling, but doing his best to get it under control.
"...I love you, Mom, Dad. Forever...for always..."
Sean couldn't have put the swirl of thoughts and memories he was feeling down if you'd given him hours and hours to jot them down and all the paper in the world to do it with. But something deep, deep inside gave him just a bit of strength to begin slowly calming himself as he slowly rose from his seat. Though his face was still streaked with tears, he was able to choke back the crying...and though he was trembling, it wasn't as bad as he'd feared it might be.
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Frozen Smoke
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And then the kid talked. Oh boy, did he talk. He was probably telling his, mum, his girlfriend, whomever he loved, just how much he would miss them on the other side.
It almost brought a tear to his eye.
He looked at the camera infront of him. Should he talk to his parents aswell? Tell them that "It's going to be okay"?
Why? It wasn't. Mum had always known when he was lying anyway. There was no point to it.
He closed his mouth. He turned back to look at Sean, and noticed tear tracks on his face shining in the sunlight.
Should he do something? Hug him? Tell him "It was going to be okay"?
No. That'd be... Patronising.
But, he had to say something, if just to reassure him that he knew what he was feeling.
"Do you need a moment? I... I can wait." He said, before immediately regretting those words. Why was he giving him time to think this through? He had to stop thinking of him as a friend. He barely knew him and he was about to die. It was predator and prey, nothing more.
He closed his eyes and willed his composure back together.
He couldn't afford to screw up.
It almost brought a tear to his eye.
He looked at the camera infront of him. Should he talk to his parents aswell? Tell them that "It's going to be okay"?
Why? It wasn't. Mum had always known when he was lying anyway. There was no point to it.
He closed his mouth. He turned back to look at Sean, and noticed tear tracks on his face shining in the sunlight.
Should he do something? Hug him? Tell him "It was going to be okay"?
No. That'd be... Patronising.
But, he had to say something, if just to reassure him that he knew what he was feeling.
"Do you need a moment? I... I can wait." He said, before immediately regretting those words. Why was he giving him time to think this through? He had to stop thinking of him as a friend. He barely knew him and he was about to die. It was predator and prey, nothing more.
He closed his eyes and willed his composure back together.
He couldn't afford to screw up.
"Do you need a moment? I... I can wait."
Sean took a deep breath, pushing the tears a bit further aside. Could he buy a few minutes by taking Zach up on his offer? Yeah...but the rush of emotion had started rolling back slightly. Still, his response took just a moment to get together. It was sort of a big thing.
"Promise me two things, will you?"
Beat.
"Whatever happens, once I'm...you know...make it as quick as you can. I really don't want to have to, you know, do this twice." Not to mention that coming up with "Plan B" with a horridly sore throat just wasn't on the agenda. Right now, Sean wasn't quite sure what Zach had set up anyway. "And...uh...don't leave until I'm gone. I...don't want to die alone, you know?"
Though he wasn't crying, Sean was breathing deeply; when he stood, shakily, to begin the walk around the pool, Sean saw the noose on the diving board for the first time, tied to the diving board, and he went back into a knot. There were no tears this time, but his heartrate and breathing rate skyrocketed while his knees unexpectedly buckled.
"Oh, fuck."
Falling to the ground in front of his chair, Sean winced and looked up at Zach; a tentative effort revealed that between his nerves and his tied hands, he couldn't quite manage to get himself up.
"S...sorry about..." Sean paused, at a loss for words for a moment. "I'm...scared."
Another attempt to get up ensued, meeting with no success, and Sean let out something of a nervous groan,
"Could I, uh, get a hand?"
Sean took a deep breath, pushing the tears a bit further aside. Could he buy a few minutes by taking Zach up on his offer? Yeah...but the rush of emotion had started rolling back slightly. Still, his response took just a moment to get together. It was sort of a big thing.
"Promise me two things, will you?"
Beat.
"Whatever happens, once I'm...you know...make it as quick as you can. I really don't want to have to, you know, do this twice." Not to mention that coming up with "Plan B" with a horridly sore throat just wasn't on the agenda. Right now, Sean wasn't quite sure what Zach had set up anyway. "And...uh...don't leave until I'm gone. I...don't want to die alone, you know?"
Though he wasn't crying, Sean was breathing deeply; when he stood, shakily, to begin the walk around the pool, Sean saw the noose on the diving board for the first time, tied to the diving board, and he went back into a knot. There were no tears this time, but his heartrate and breathing rate skyrocketed while his knees unexpectedly buckled.
"Oh, fuck."
Falling to the ground in front of his chair, Sean winced and looked up at Zach; a tentative effort revealed that between his nerves and his tied hands, he couldn't quite manage to get himself up.
"S...sorry about..." Sean paused, at a loss for words for a moment. "I'm...scared."
Another attempt to get up ensued, meeting with no success, and Sean let out something of a nervous groan,
"Could I, uh, get a hand?"
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Frozen Smoke
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He looked for a moment as if he was going to take him up on the offer of a few moments. God damnit. He screwed up everything. He took a deep breath, probably trying to stop himself from crying, as he seemed on the verge of bursting into tears, then opened his mouth to speak.
"Yeah, I really need to think about this" He could hear it already, the death knoll for his plan.
"Promise me two things, will you?"
He blinked rapidly, before the message sank in. He hadn't failed! He was too polite to accept!
I take it all back, thank you god!
He nodded in response to his question.
"Whatever happens, once I'm...you know...make it as quick as you can. I really don't want to have to, you know, do this twice. And...uh...don't leave until I'm gone. I...don't want to die alone, you know?"
"Yeah man, of course. I might be a player, but I aint heartless. And, well, hopefully I wont have to stay for long, but I promise I won't leave until you're dead" He replied.
He uncrossed his fingers and brought his hand out from behind his back.
He let him lead as they walked towards the diving board. He was shaking like a leaf, but he was waalking towards certain death, you could hardly blame him. Then, all of a sudden, he just collapsed.
He increased his pace to reach his side. He was mumbling apologies by the time he reached him. It was truly a pitiful sight. But... It made him realise something.
He could do anything, and he couldn't stop him. But, he'd put so much effort into this. It'd be a shame to waste it.
"Could I, uh, get a hand?" He asked, with suprising elequonce for someone with his face in the dirt.
"Yeah" He replied, getting into position to lift him up. He wrapped his arms around him and grunted with effort as he pulled him into a standing position.
"There ya go"
"Yeah, I really need to think about this" He could hear it already, the death knoll for his plan.
"Promise me two things, will you?"
He blinked rapidly, before the message sank in. He hadn't failed! He was too polite to accept!
I take it all back, thank you god!
He nodded in response to his question.
"Whatever happens, once I'm...you know...make it as quick as you can. I really don't want to have to, you know, do this twice. And...uh...don't leave until I'm gone. I...don't want to die alone, you know?"
"Yeah man, of course. I might be a player, but I aint heartless. And, well, hopefully I wont have to stay for long, but I promise I won't leave until you're dead" He replied.
He uncrossed his fingers and brought his hand out from behind his back.
He let him lead as they walked towards the diving board. He was shaking like a leaf, but he was waalking towards certain death, you could hardly blame him. Then, all of a sudden, he just collapsed.
He increased his pace to reach his side. He was mumbling apologies by the time he reached him. It was truly a pitiful sight. But... It made him realise something.
He could do anything, and he couldn't stop him. But, he'd put so much effort into this. It'd be a shame to waste it.
"Could I, uh, get a hand?" He asked, with suprising elequonce for someone with his face in the dirt.
"Yeah" He replied, getting into position to lift him up. He wrapped his arms around him and grunted with effort as he pulled him into a standing position.
"There ya go"
"There ya go."
"Thanks. You're...Zach, I won't forget this. I promise." It should be obvious that, given the lack of time to forget in this life, Sean is referring to something different. "I'll put in a good word...even if you're not going to need it for a long time."
Sean gets to his feet, but the shaking is worse...
I don't want to do this, but...like I am now, there's no way I'll last more than a few hours, and I could end up in the hands of someone who...well...
The memories of a number of the kills he's seen over the years flash into his mind...so many bloody, gory messes and many where nobody bothered to finish their work. More than one contestant had ended up a vegetable waiting for a collar detonation in the end, and countless others had been rendered helpless-but-conscious. And then there were the real monsters...
Yes, Sean counted himself lucky not to be facing that. "I'm...hoping you won't have to stay long at all."
Every moment you have to wait is a moment I'm out there waiting as well...
Unfortunately for Sean, that brought to mind thoughts he'd been blocking out...just how long could this end up taking? What if something went wrong? He shoved them aside yet again...
Just go through with it. Do you want to make him think up some other way to kill you? It's not like you can escape, anyway. Hell, you couldn't even run fast enough, tied up like this.
"I'll...need a hand getting up the ladder."
Sean steadied himself as they walked, doing his best just to focus on his breathing.
"Thanks. You're...Zach, I won't forget this. I promise." It should be obvious that, given the lack of time to forget in this life, Sean is referring to something different. "I'll put in a good word...even if you're not going to need it for a long time."
Sean gets to his feet, but the shaking is worse...
I don't want to do this, but...like I am now, there's no way I'll last more than a few hours, and I could end up in the hands of someone who...well...
The memories of a number of the kills he's seen over the years flash into his mind...so many bloody, gory messes and many where nobody bothered to finish their work. More than one contestant had ended up a vegetable waiting for a collar detonation in the end, and countless others had been rendered helpless-but-conscious. And then there were the real monsters...
Yes, Sean counted himself lucky not to be facing that. "I'm...hoping you won't have to stay long at all."
Every moment you have to wait is a moment I'm out there waiting as well...
Unfortunately for Sean, that brought to mind thoughts he'd been blocking out...just how long could this end up taking? What if something went wrong? He shoved them aside yet again...
Just go through with it. Do you want to make him think up some other way to kill you? It's not like you can escape, anyway. Hell, you couldn't even run fast enough, tied up like this.
"I'll...need a hand getting up the ladder."
Sean steadied himself as they walked, doing his best just to focus on his breathing.
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Frozen Smoke
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"Thanks. You're...Zach, I won't forget this. I promise."
Of course not. You've got, maybe, five minuites to live? You'd have to have the memory of a spastic goldfish to for-
"I'll put in a good word...even if you're not going to need it for a long time."
What? Oh, St. Peter. Right. Heaven, Hell, life after death, that stuff. He... Wasn't religious, in any way. He'd been to church, like, twice? And one of those times was a funeral, so that probably didn't count. He was going to hell, wasn't he? No. He wasn't going to die. He was going to get 10 kills and get out.
"I'm...hoping you won't have to stay long at all."
He nodded in agreement to that as he walked, beside him this time, ready to catch him if he fell again.
"I'll...need a hand getting up the ladder."
Oh shit. He had'nt thought about that. He could just free his hands, but, well, he didn't trust him not to run at the last minuite. He didn't want to have to run after him. His legs ached. He could just.. Pull him up, right? He didn't way that much, did he? He sure as hell didn't feel like he weighed that much when he dragged him off the ground.
"Don't worry, I'll just lift you up, it's fine." He said, voicing his plan as they approached the suddenly grim looking diving board.
Of course not. You've got, maybe, five minuites to live? You'd have to have the memory of a spastic goldfish to for-
"I'll put in a good word...even if you're not going to need it for a long time."
What? Oh, St. Peter. Right. Heaven, Hell, life after death, that stuff. He... Wasn't religious, in any way. He'd been to church, like, twice? And one of those times was a funeral, so that probably didn't count. He was going to hell, wasn't he? No. He wasn't going to die. He was going to get 10 kills and get out.
"I'm...hoping you won't have to stay long at all."
He nodded in agreement to that as he walked, beside him this time, ready to catch him if he fell again.
"I'll...need a hand getting up the ladder."
Oh shit. He had'nt thought about that. He could just free his hands, but, well, he didn't trust him not to run at the last minuite. He didn't want to have to run after him. His legs ached. He could just.. Pull him up, right? He didn't way that much, did he? He sure as hell didn't feel like he weighed that much when he dragged him off the ground.
"Don't worry, I'll just lift you up, it's fine." He said, voicing his plan as they approached the suddenly grim looking diving board.
"Don't worry, I'll just lift you up, it's fine."
The rest of the walk was nearly silent, Sean trying to sort out how he wanted to go out. Though Sean was still trembling, he didn't want to go out as 'that guy who died crying'. Though another tear leaked out, a strange sense of calm settled in as they reached the ladder. Yes, his heart was thumping and Sean was trembling, but he was also resigned.
Looking up the ladder, Sean just...waited for orders.
The rest of the walk was nearly silent, Sean trying to sort out how he wanted to go out. Though Sean was still trembling, he didn't want to go out as 'that guy who died crying'. Though another tear leaked out, a strange sense of calm settled in as they reached the ladder. Yes, his heart was thumping and Sean was trembling, but he was also resigned.
Looking up the ladder, Sean just...waited for orders.
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Frozen Smoke
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His heartrate began to spike as he came to the ladder. He was close now, so close. Kill number 3.
He looked at him, at his victim. He seemed oddly calm, and suddenly really heavy. He looked up. That ladder looked a hell of a lot higher from here. He'd have to... Sort of drag him, whilst climbing. Sounded like good clean fun.
If only he was like, a gorilla or something, then he could just climb up whilst carrying him. That'd be awesome.
He climbed the ladder, until his feet were just above his head.
"Okay, uh, try and like, step up, I'll grab your shoulders."
He looked at him, at his victim. He seemed oddly calm, and suddenly really heavy. He looked up. That ladder looked a hell of a lot higher from here. He'd have to... Sort of drag him, whilst climbing. Sounded like good clean fun.
If only he was like, a gorilla or something, then he could just climb up whilst carrying him. That'd be awesome.
He climbed the ladder, until his feet were just above his head.
"Okay, uh, try and like, step up, I'll grab your shoulders."