''Not every kill... So, seven out of ten... seventy percent... and if you keep this pace up, then...''
''Oh! You can barely scrape by, then, but...''
Words trailed off again. It was tough for her to finish that sentence.
But she knew, now. She knew.
Leah let go of her grip on Mary and took another breath.
''That won't be needed,'' she said. ''The shotgun part, I mean. It's... gosh. I need a moment to gather my mind, I'm sorry. Let me think of how to, uh, how to say this.''
She needed four, three more kills, and then it would be all finished. Three times the people Leah killed. If she let Seo-Yun go, the difference she'd make in this world wouldn't be more than anyone else's, really, the people that she'd kill would have a huge chance of dying either way, and-
The more she rationalized the more it made sense.
it terrified her.
''I guess, if you really, really, really want to live... I shouldn't stop you.''
A distilled version of what she meant. She took another breath. She wouldn't be taking many more, now.
''I can help you, you know.''
"I know every story has to end, but that doesn't mean I won't hesitate before the last word."
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MurderWeasel
- Posts: 3449
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:56 am
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
The voice emanating from Leah's collar is at a level audible to all, but is strangely quiet, amplified by the microphone more than vocal cords.
"Leah, I—
"I'm not going to tell you not to do this. I would never presume to take this choice from you. But please, take a moment to really think.
"Whatever you choose, make your choice with intent and no regrets."
"Leah, I—
"I'm not going to tell you not to do this. I would never presume to take this choice from you. But please, take a moment to really think.
"Whatever you choose, make your choice with intent and no regrets."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 491
- Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2018 5:41 am
Seo-yun jolted slightly with the introduction of a new voice, briefly panicking at the idea of another complication added to an already difficult situation. She calmed when she realized the voice was coming from Leah's collar. Jewel of all people chimed in, and instead of offering tips on the most pragmatic possible decision, she just affirmed Leah's agency? A strange move, but not one that Seo-yun was going to question.
She wanted to voice her support for her own release and whatever ominous idea Leah had in mind, but she couldn't shake the thought that Jewel's intrusion wasn't just a message for Leah, but her as well. A signal that she had said and done enough at this point, and now all that was left was to let whatever the future holds transpire. Knowing all the while that Jewel was watching what was happening, and was willing to counter anything she said, if needed.
So instead she nodded.
"Help me... how?"
She wanted to voice her support for her own release and whatever ominous idea Leah had in mind, but she couldn't shake the thought that Jewel's intrusion wasn't just a message for Leah, but her as well. A signal that she had said and done enough at this point, and now all that was left was to let whatever the future holds transpire. Knowing all the while that Jewel was watching what was happening, and was willing to counter anything she said, if needed.
So instead she nodded.
"Help me... how?"
“Leah…”
Mary turned her head and stared. Was silent for a few beats. Listened to Jewel’s chiming in.
“What are you suggesting…?” she whispered.
She shook her head in disbelief. What on earth? Whatever was happening right now, it couldn’t be happening.
Mary turned her head and stared. Was silent for a few beats. Listened to Jewel’s chiming in.
“What are you suggesting…?” she whispered.
She shook her head in disbelief. What on earth? Whatever was happening right now, it couldn’t be happening.
CYBERS:
HARERAISER (Winter Castillo)The synthwave bunnygirl programmer roller weeb!
Currently: Confused? Horrified?
SECOND CHANCES
Junko KurosawaThink Johnny Knoxville but a teenage girl.
Currently: Ridng a shopping cart (in-between threads)
Bella Bianchi
Ballet dancer with pressure.
Currently: In the student lounge
(Meanwhile in the past...)
"I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry, but- but even if I got out, I think I'm just going to kill myself," she breathed out.
"You said it yourself, that all this game do is to take. I don't think there's ever going to be a future where I- where I would grow old and be happy. I've thought about this so many times now. I don't think there's anything for me out there, and the only choice I have is to die willingly or unwillingly. I'm sorry. I really am. But I just want to be selfish for once. I don't want to live just for the sake of others, Jewel. I hope you understand this."
One of her hands reached out to squeeze the other, nails digging into the flesh like claws.
The suggestion stayed as an implication. Leah didn't want to speak it into reality. She's said so much now. Everybody knew what she was saying. She wanted to be a Lily, she wanted to use her life for something other than just moping around and being pathetic and little for once, she wanted to take control even if it meant cutting herself down.
Leah held on to the shotgun.
"It's alright. I think I know what I'm doing. We don't need to unload it."
"You said it yourself, that all this game do is to take. I don't think there's ever going to be a future where I- where I would grow old and be happy. I've thought about this so many times now. I don't think there's anything for me out there, and the only choice I have is to die willingly or unwillingly. I'm sorry. I really am. But I just want to be selfish for once. I don't want to live just for the sake of others, Jewel. I hope you understand this."
One of her hands reached out to squeeze the other, nails digging into the flesh like claws.
The suggestion stayed as an implication. Leah didn't want to speak it into reality. She's said so much now. Everybody knew what she was saying. She wanted to be a Lily, she wanted to use her life for something other than just moping around and being pathetic and little for once, she wanted to take control even if it meant cutting herself down.
Leah held on to the shotgun.
"It's alright. I think I know what I'm doing. We don't need to unload it."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 491
- Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2018 5:41 am
Seo-yun's eye went wide as she stared at Leah, the persistent ache in her head becoming the least of her concerns.
Of all the ways that she could have guessed that Leah wanted to "help" her, assisted suicide hadn't even crossed her mind. The very thought of it left her feeling conflicted. On the one hand, killing someone with their own consent would be the least evil way she could up her tally. On the other hand, a quiet discomfort was beginning to creep its way up the back of her neck, making her hairs stand on end. She didn't like to think about what she was really doing this much. It was simpler when they were enemies, and the ramifications of her actions only hit once the violence was done.
She began to force herself up on unsteady legs, thankful that her ankles hadn't been bound like her wrists and arms. The time for her to stress and worry was over, Leah's mind had been made up. All that was left was to finish out this scene, and let the audience gobble up the tragedy. She hoped they would choke on it.
"Okay," she said, standing once more. "Whenever you're ready."
Of all the ways that she could have guessed that Leah wanted to "help" her, assisted suicide hadn't even crossed her mind. The very thought of it left her feeling conflicted. On the one hand, killing someone with their own consent would be the least evil way she could up her tally. On the other hand, a quiet discomfort was beginning to creep its way up the back of her neck, making her hairs stand on end. She didn't like to think about what she was really doing this much. It was simpler when they were enemies, and the ramifications of her actions only hit once the violence was done.
She began to force herself up on unsteady legs, thankful that her ankles hadn't been bound like her wrists and arms. The time for her to stress and worry was over, Leah's mind had been made up. All that was left was to finish out this scene, and let the audience gobble up the tragedy. She hoped they would choke on it.
"Okay," she said, standing once more. "Whenever you're ready."
“Leah…”
Mary’s eyes quivered and felt warm. Her entire body trembled.
“Please… are you…”
Her heart rate sped up. She felt dizzy.
“Are you sure? Are you sure?” her voice was fast. “I get how you feel, I’ve felt that way, and Jewel’s here, and we can make sure… sure… things are okay. I know it hurts, I know it hurts, and…”
And?
You’re still not good at comforting people.
You hate how people react when you talk about this sort of thing, and yet, you have nothing good to say. Pathetic.
Mary’s eyes quivered and felt warm. Her entire body trembled.
“Please… are you…”
Her heart rate sped up. She felt dizzy.
“Are you sure? Are you sure?” her voice was fast. “I get how you feel, I’ve felt that way, and Jewel’s here, and we can make sure… sure… things are okay. I know it hurts, I know it hurts, and…”
And?
You’re still not good at comforting people.
You hate how people react when you talk about this sort of thing, and yet, you have nothing good to say. Pathetic.
CYBERS:
HARERAISER (Winter Castillo)The synthwave bunnygirl programmer roller weeb!
Currently: Confused? Horrified?
SECOND CHANCES
Junko KurosawaThink Johnny Knoxville but a teenage girl.
Currently: Ridng a shopping cart (in-between threads)
Bella Bianchi
Ballet dancer with pressure.
Currently: In the student lounge
(Meanwhile in the past...)
-
MurderWeasel
- Posts: 3449
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:56 am
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
The quiet tone persists at the start, but steadies as the talk turns to business.
"I do understand. And I mean that.
"I... it's your choice. It's always your choice.
"But let's not get too hasty about the details. Every one of us has our own choices and hopes for how this turns out, and I think it would help guarantee the best result if there was no more than one shell in that shotgun.
"Oh, and Mary... I don't know if you want to be here. But you have a choice too. A few of them, in fact."
"I do understand. And I mean that.
"I... it's your choice. It's always your choice.
"But let's not get too hasty about the details. Every one of us has our own choices and hopes for how this turns out, and I think it would help guarantee the best result if there was no more than one shell in that shotgun.
"Oh, and Mary... I don't know if you want to be here. But you have a choice too. A few of them, in fact."
"I know that it's something that I shouldn't feel, Mary, but I'm sure. I'm really, really, really sure. I think... I don't want you to feel hung up about it."
She's never talked about this kind of topic with people before.
"I think I've tried my best to rationalize it, but- but the thing is, if I try, if I want to live, then that would make it all the more painful when I fail."
Leah unloaded the shotgun the way that Seo-yun described. She left a single shell in before handing it towards Mary.
"This is... this is my choice, and I'm sticking to it. I hope you don't think this is your fault, Mary. It isn't. This would've happened either way."
A smile. Genuine, this time. Full of tears and warmth.
She looked at the ropes that Seo was tied in, trying to work out the knots with shaky fingers.
"I'm sorry you have to get caught up in it."
Leah frowned. The ropes were hurting her fingers when she was untying them, but they were coming apart, little by little.
"Just hang on there, Seo."
She's never talked about this kind of topic with people before.
"I think I've tried my best to rationalize it, but- but the thing is, if I try, if I want to live, then that would make it all the more painful when I fail."
Leah unloaded the shotgun the way that Seo-yun described. She left a single shell in before handing it towards Mary.
"This is... this is my choice, and I'm sticking to it. I hope you don't think this is your fault, Mary. It isn't. This would've happened either way."
A smile. Genuine, this time. Full of tears and warmth.
She looked at the ropes that Seo was tied in, trying to work out the knots with shaky fingers.
"I'm sorry you have to get caught up in it."
Leah frowned. The ropes were hurting her fingers when she was untying them, but they were coming apart, little by little.
"Just hang on there, Seo."
-
VoltTurtle
- Posts: 491
- Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2018 5:41 am
Seo-yun did not struggle or protest as Leah unloaded the shotgun, instead watching as the shells clattered to the ground one by one. She stayed quiet as the ropes binding her were slowly undone, her eye transfixed on her shotgun. She wouldn't let it out of her sight until it was back in her clutches. With the gun in hand if Mary so chose she could end this whole charade right here and now, and Seo-yun needed to be ready for that possibility.
Except, no such shot came. The ropes came undone, and she was freed. A wave of relief washed over her as she brought her arms in front of her, and she allowed herself a moment to stretch and appreciate this brief period of calm. She had only been bound for a few minutes at most, but those had been the longest minutes of her entire life. Unrestrained once more, there was only one thing she had left to do.
Taking a step towards Mary, she silently extended her bandaged hand, palm open and facing up.
No more words needed to be said. Ready or not, this was happening.
Except, no such shot came. The ropes came undone, and she was freed. A wave of relief washed over her as she brought her arms in front of her, and she allowed herself a moment to stretch and appreciate this brief period of calm. She had only been bound for a few minutes at most, but those had been the longest minutes of her entire life. Unrestrained once more, there was only one thing she had left to do.
Taking a step towards Mary, she silently extended her bandaged hand, palm open and facing up.
No more words needed to be said. Ready or not, this was happening.
Mary wasn’t ready.
She remembered all the times she was alone. She remembered all the nights she spent looking up various ways to die. She remembered some of Leah’s past comments. She remembered her own emptiness back home, which she tried to fill in various ways. She remembered all the times she thought about her own death, about where her soul would go and how her body would be treated. She remembered wondering about her rabbits, or her parents, or anyone else. She remembered wondering if the best thing was to end things, cut it off at that moment, or to keep trying.
And all those memories came flooding back to her at once.
Her body continued to tremble, and she felt tears threatening to leak out. The shotgun was in her other hand now. Leah gave her it.
“Please… please…” she murmured.
Jewel was right. It was to some extent Leah’s choice. And she had choices to make, too. But her mind was running, she didn’t know what to do, she didn’t know what to do.
Seo-yun was free now. Mary closed her eyes. Opened them. Saw Seo-yun reach out her hand. And meekly, she held the gun out, handle facing outwards.
And she dropped her oar.
She remembered all the times she was alone. She remembered all the nights she spent looking up various ways to die. She remembered some of Leah’s past comments. She remembered her own emptiness back home, which she tried to fill in various ways. She remembered all the times she thought about her own death, about where her soul would go and how her body would be treated. She remembered wondering about her rabbits, or her parents, or anyone else. She remembered wondering if the best thing was to end things, cut it off at that moment, or to keep trying.
And all those memories came flooding back to her at once.
Her body continued to tremble, and she felt tears threatening to leak out. The shotgun was in her other hand now. Leah gave her it.
“Please… please…” she murmured.
Jewel was right. It was to some extent Leah’s choice. And she had choices to make, too. But her mind was running, she didn’t know what to do, she didn’t know what to do.
Seo-yun was free now. Mary closed her eyes. Opened them. Saw Seo-yun reach out her hand. And meekly, she held the gun out, handle facing outwards.
And she dropped her oar.
CYBERS:
HARERAISER (Winter Castillo)The synthwave bunnygirl programmer roller weeb!
Currently: Confused? Horrified?
SECOND CHANCES
Junko KurosawaThink Johnny Knoxville but a teenage girl.
Currently: Ridng a shopping cart (in-between threads)
Bella Bianchi
Ballet dancer with pressure.
Currently: In the student lounge
(Meanwhile in the past...)
"M-Mary," she muttered, putting her hands around the girl. The oar laid by her shoe.
"I'm... satisfied with this decision, Mary. I don't want you to think that this is tragic, or sad, or that I didn't want this."
The smile was so wide and real that it hurt.
"My happiness and survival isn't your responsibility. I want you to- to get out there, and to try to be as happy as you can be, and to not think about me, alright? You can look away if you want to. You don't have to be here to see this."
Leah smiled at Seo-yun. Put her hands off of Mary.
"I hope you understand that this isn't your fault. I hope that this wouldn't haunt you."
"Jewel, can I make a request from you? I want you to... If Seo-yun doesn't attack any leviathans, can you talk to her mentor and... and maybe help her? Even after she got out?"
Hands behind back. Shaking legs. Irregularly fast heartbeat.
(She's never felt loved in her life. Not like Seo-yun. Not like Jewel.)
"Seo, I don't- god, I have so much to say but I want to get it over with, so I'm going to dictate my will for a bit, if that's OK, a-alright? Just... making sure things go the way they should. This is going to take, um, probably a few minutes, please don't interrupt me, this is the only thing that I want now, alright?"
Leah cleared her throat.
"I'm... satisfied with this decision, Mary. I don't want you to think that this is tragic, or sad, or that I didn't want this."
The smile was so wide and real that it hurt.
"My happiness and survival isn't your responsibility. I want you to- to get out there, and to try to be as happy as you can be, and to not think about me, alright? You can look away if you want to. You don't have to be here to see this."
Leah smiled at Seo-yun. Put her hands off of Mary.
"I hope you understand that this isn't your fault. I hope that this wouldn't haunt you."
"Jewel, can I make a request from you? I want you to... If Seo-yun doesn't attack any leviathans, can you talk to her mentor and... and maybe help her? Even after she got out?"
Hands behind back. Shaking legs. Irregularly fast heartbeat.
(She's never felt loved in her life. Not like Seo-yun. Not like Jewel.)
"Seo, I don't- god, I have so much to say but I want to get it over with, so I'm going to dictate my will for a bit, if that's OK, a-alright? Just... making sure things go the way they should. This is going to take, um, probably a few minutes, please don't interrupt me, this is the only thing that I want now, alright?"
Leah cleared her throat.
"I want all of my personal possessions- Clothes, leftover school supplies that I didn't use, and all that, donated to the community. Sharpies, headbands, everything- I don't want mom and dad to sell it. I don't want them to profit off of it by selling them as souvenirs. There is nothing special about them other than the fact that the girl who owned them would be dead by the time this aired. If you think otherwise, go outside and touch grass.
I have a bank account that mom made for me- college savings, allowances, et cetera, and I want that to be donated, too. My body should be, um... left adrift in the ocean. I don't want anybody to say anything about this show on my grave- just say my name, just say my age, you don't even have to put a gravestone, because I know I won't be buried. I don't- I don't want there to be a trace of me when I'm gone. I don't want to be a character. I don't want to be a thing that people watch and pity. Wipe my social media. I have a patch in the community garden, right on the road southeast by my home at the Springs park, yeah, that one- that's the only legacy I want. Take care of it, please. Plant strawberries there.
Everything on this Island that I have goes to Mary, except the copy of the book that I got on the shop boat- you know the one. It's not mine, anyways, so it goes to Seo. Mary keeps my copy. Mary keeps everything I have. Think of it as a thanks- because you've been a great friend. And I'll miss you, but I don't want you to miss me, because I think that would be really sad of you to keep on mourning me when this is all over."
She turned to the girl and smiled.
"Oh, um, and one last thing- I have a book collection, separated by genre. If Jewel wants, she can take the ones with the red bookmarks. Just call my parents, separately, and they'll give them to you. They're... they're dear to me. These books have shaped a large part of who I am, now. Maybe, considering my state, they aren't very good books. Everything else gets given away, as per usual."
'There's a box of sugar cookies in the fridge that I baked. I think Dad had already ate them all, but if he hasn't I don't think they've gone bad yet. Give them to Grandma. I know she likes cinnamon. My email, phone, every password is written on the back of my phonecase. Throw it away- both, uh, both the case, and the phone.
And I don't want mom and dad to continue to watch this show. Turn to TV off, and don't switch to this channel ever again. I don't want you to see me dead, so just- just press the power button. Please. Now."
That is all."
The tears have stopped flowing by now. Her wet eyes stared at Seo-yun, almost sympathetic.
I have a bank account that mom made for me- college savings, allowances, et cetera, and I want that to be donated, too. My body should be, um... left adrift in the ocean. I don't want anybody to say anything about this show on my grave- just say my name, just say my age, you don't even have to put a gravestone, because I know I won't be buried. I don't- I don't want there to be a trace of me when I'm gone. I don't want to be a character. I don't want to be a thing that people watch and pity. Wipe my social media. I have a patch in the community garden, right on the road southeast by my home at the Springs park, yeah, that one- that's the only legacy I want. Take care of it, please. Plant strawberries there.
Everything on this Island that I have goes to Mary, except the copy of the book that I got on the shop boat- you know the one. It's not mine, anyways, so it goes to Seo. Mary keeps my copy. Mary keeps everything I have. Think of it as a thanks- because you've been a great friend. And I'll miss you, but I don't want you to miss me, because I think that would be really sad of you to keep on mourning me when this is all over."
She turned to the girl and smiled.
"Oh, um, and one last thing- I have a book collection, separated by genre. If Jewel wants, she can take the ones with the red bookmarks. Just call my parents, separately, and they'll give them to you. They're... they're dear to me. These books have shaped a large part of who I am, now. Maybe, considering my state, they aren't very good books. Everything else gets given away, as per usual."
'There's a box of sugar cookies in the fridge that I baked. I think Dad had already ate them all, but if he hasn't I don't think they've gone bad yet. Give them to Grandma. I know she likes cinnamon. My email, phone, every password is written on the back of my phonecase. Throw it away- both, uh, both the case, and the phone.
And I don't want mom and dad to continue to watch this show. Turn to TV off, and don't switch to this channel ever again. I don't want you to see me dead, so just- just press the power button. Please. Now."
That is all."
The tears have stopped flowing by now. Her wet eyes stared at Seo-yun, almost sympathetic.
-
VoltTurtle
- Posts: 491
- Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2018 5:41 am
Seo-yun took the gun back into her hands, briefly relishing its weight and heft, and more importantly, the power it provided her. She was in control again, and all was well.
Except, of course, Leah's final requests. Seo-yun remained quiet and listened to each item as Leah listed them off one by one, her quiet discomfort only growing more pressing. Leah had clearly put a lot of thought into this, which immediately called to attention how much this course of action must have been planned in advance. Not only that, but all the little details and the raw specificity of all her requests painted a very clear picture of who Leah was as a person. In another life, Seo-yun might have considered her worthy of being a friend.
Unfortunately, friendship mattered very little in a place like this.
"I'll do everything I can," she said, when Leah finally finished.
She raised the shotgun, pointing it at the other girl, her finger off of the trigger.
"Now, how do you want to do this?"
She tried to ignore that hollow feeling already eating at her from the pit of her stomach.
Except, of course, Leah's final requests. Seo-yun remained quiet and listened to each item as Leah listed them off one by one, her quiet discomfort only growing more pressing. Leah had clearly put a lot of thought into this, which immediately called to attention how much this course of action must have been planned in advance. Not only that, but all the little details and the raw specificity of all her requests painted a very clear picture of who Leah was as a person. In another life, Seo-yun might have considered her worthy of being a friend.
Unfortunately, friendship mattered very little in a place like this.
"I'll do everything I can," she said, when Leah finally finished.
She raised the shotgun, pointing it at the other girl, her finger off of the trigger.
"Now, how do you want to do this?"
She tried to ignore that hollow feeling already eating at her from the pit of her stomach.
-
MurderWeasel
- Posts: 3449
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:56 am
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
The voice has gone quieter again.
"I'll do whatever I can to make it just like you want. I promise.
"It's... Leah, I just want you to know, I'm glad I got to know you. Even just for a little while."
"I'll do whatever I can to make it just like you want. I promise.
"It's... Leah, I just want you to know, I'm glad I got to know you. Even just for a little while."