It was almost cute how naive Mandy was. She had watched this show too, right? She had to know what happened when someone was stabbed in the chest multiple times and they subsequently stopped moving. Maybe she just didn't want to come to terms with the fact that she was an accomplice to someone else's death. Regardless of her feelings and post-act hesitance though, she had proven herself extremely useful. Not only had she given Seo-yun the opportunity she needed to score her first kill, but she had also ensured that she had a shotgun and the ammo for it were now under their control. Perhaps Seo-yun had been wrong to downplay her initially, or perhaps her subconscious had been aware of Mandy's potential where her conscious mind had not.
She slowly stood back up, letting the shotgun fall to her side as her free hand dusted off her dress. She probably looked like a mess, given the dirt and bloodstains and the mild injuries she had sustained in the last six hours, but perhaps a little rough and tumble look was appropriate enough for the show she was on.
"He's gone, Mandy," she replied, consciously taking on a more solemn tone. "He won't be able to attack anyone ever again."
She walked forward a bit, taking a proper look at her handiwork now that the adrenaline was fading and her rational brain had once again wrested control of her faculties from her animal brain. The blood pool around Abel was still expanding, though not nearly as quickly as it once had. Her eyes were particularly drawn to the ragged puncture wounds from where she had slipped the blade between his ribs, and the reddish pulp that had formerly been one of his eyes filling the now-dead socket.
Staring at the body, she felt a sort of stillness in the air, and a quiet discomfort going along with it.
"I wasn't expecting you to jump in like you did," she continued, "and I did what I had to do to keep you safe. If it wasn't him dead on the ground right now it would've been you instead, and I couldn't bear the thought."
Of course, how much she actually meant that was up for debate. She was genuinely relieved that Mandy was still alive, insofar as she could continue to be a useful ally. However, if she had died as well, her loss would have only been marginally greater than Abel.
Right, yes, Abel, the battered shell of whom she was still transfixed on. Just a week ago, she would have never imagined that she would eventually murder someone. Up to this point, ever since she realized that she was going to be on SOTF, she had been relishing the opportunity that unleashing her inner violence presented. Now that she had actually done it, though, she felt strangely empty, as if she had realized that she lost something, but was unable to remember what exactly it was that she had lost. Was that normal? Was this how every other winner felt after their first kill?
She didn't like the feeling, whatever it was. She tore her gaze away from the body and focused purely on Mandy, now covered in sawdust and powder, but still relatively unscathed.
"You did great, though, thank you for saving my life."
Consumer Culture
(cw for eye stuff) noonish, private because y'all already know wtf going on!!!!!!
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 491
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MurderWeasel
- Posts: 3442
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:56 am
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
Well yeah, okay, obviously Abel was dead. It would've been nice to maybe pretend that wasn't the case, though—to tell themselves that he was just out cold and whatever came next wasn't anyone's fault, or at least not Mandy's and Seo-yun's. Close his eyes so you couldn't see the goopy red mess of pulp that made the pluralization a lie, and roll him some so the deep gashes in his chest were obscured, and squint a bit to get a particularly charitable interpretation of the rocking movement of the boat, and he could be harmlessly unconscious.
Mandy's lips were pressed tight together, and she nibbled at the inside edges with her teeth. It was a horrible feeling, but she probably deserved it. Abel was dead, and Seo-yun was banged up, and Virginia was half-blinded and run off, and Mandy's butt hurt a little and her nose was prickly. Life wasn't fair.
The thing that was hardest for Mandy about how Seo-yun pulled back the curtains on reality was that it was at first difficult to tell what the girl's aim in doing so was. At the start, she sounded relieved: Abel was gone and would no longer be able to menace anybody else. But then, things shifted some: Seo-yun did what she had to do, because of Mandy's actions. That meant that she was saying that what happened to Abel, the fact that there wasn't really an Abel anymore except in this sort of gross physical remnant sort of way, that was Mandy's fault. Her actions created that result.
It made her bristle, just for a moment, but she knew better than to give that emotion play. She knew why she'd acted. She'd been trying to help Seo-yun, to save her from certain doom, and it wasn't like Mandy had poked anybody's eye out. She'd handled her end with nobody ending up dead, so why was this on her shoulders? How was that fair? But Seo-yun wasn't the sort of person you could just go off on like that, not without coming off as an especially petulant child, because she'd always have some way to explain it to make it clear she'd actually been right the whole time.
And then, there it was. She wasn't blaming Mandy at all. She was giving credit.
Right. They were on SOTF, weren't they? Mandy had never forgotten, but the fact that they were supposed to be killing people still wasn't entirely real to her. She tried on a new perspective: Abel was dead and that was good. Her own actions had been rash, but had worked out. They were down a foe, better equipped, no serious damage sustained. By all accounts, it was a win.
It didn't taste quite right. Too sweet.
"Oh, no, it wasn't special," Mandy finally said. "I just did what I could. You saved me too. I didn't think it would get so dangerous."
Virginia had tried to shoot and stab her. It was easy to not understand that, because her butt hurt and her nose was prickly and that was all, but the scattered chips of wood could've just as easily been fragments of Mandy's skull and brain and teeth. Her eyes flicked to Abel's one again, just really quickly.
"I wonder if he has any siblings," she said, though her voice got quieter as she went.
Mandy's lips were pressed tight together, and she nibbled at the inside edges with her teeth. It was a horrible feeling, but she probably deserved it. Abel was dead, and Seo-yun was banged up, and Virginia was half-blinded and run off, and Mandy's butt hurt a little and her nose was prickly. Life wasn't fair.
The thing that was hardest for Mandy about how Seo-yun pulled back the curtains on reality was that it was at first difficult to tell what the girl's aim in doing so was. At the start, she sounded relieved: Abel was gone and would no longer be able to menace anybody else. But then, things shifted some: Seo-yun did what she had to do, because of Mandy's actions. That meant that she was saying that what happened to Abel, the fact that there wasn't really an Abel anymore except in this sort of gross physical remnant sort of way, that was Mandy's fault. Her actions created that result.
It made her bristle, just for a moment, but she knew better than to give that emotion play. She knew why she'd acted. She'd been trying to help Seo-yun, to save her from certain doom, and it wasn't like Mandy had poked anybody's eye out. She'd handled her end with nobody ending up dead, so why was this on her shoulders? How was that fair? But Seo-yun wasn't the sort of person you could just go off on like that, not without coming off as an especially petulant child, because she'd always have some way to explain it to make it clear she'd actually been right the whole time.
And then, there it was. She wasn't blaming Mandy at all. She was giving credit.
Right. They were on SOTF, weren't they? Mandy had never forgotten, but the fact that they were supposed to be killing people still wasn't entirely real to her. She tried on a new perspective: Abel was dead and that was good. Her own actions had been rash, but had worked out. They were down a foe, better equipped, no serious damage sustained. By all accounts, it was a win.
It didn't taste quite right. Too sweet.
"Oh, no, it wasn't special," Mandy finally said. "I just did what I could. You saved me too. I didn't think it would get so dangerous."
Virginia had tried to shoot and stab her. It was easy to not understand that, because her butt hurt and her nose was prickly and that was all, but the scattered chips of wood could've just as easily been fragments of Mandy's skull and brain and teeth. Her eyes flicked to Abel's one again, just really quickly.
"I wonder if he has any siblings," she said, though her voice got quieter as she went.
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 491
- Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2018 5:41 am
Seo-yun was absentmindedly admiring the shotgun as Mandy spoke, finally appreciating the fact that she had a real instrument of war instead of the pitiable bag of powder that had only made itself useful in that it enabled her to get a far better weapon in the end.
As Mandy trailed off, Seo-yun was given pause, looking back up from the shotgun and at her. Up to this point, the idea that Abel even had a family hadn't actually crossed her mind. Now that she was thinking about it, though, it was obvious that he had to have one. Maybe not siblings, like Mandy suggested, but parents at least. When this footage aired, would they be watching? When they saw what happened, would they... hate her?
She tensed up.
That wasn't good. Until now she had been so focused on the wider audience, she had forgotten to consider that there would inevitably be some viewers that would be turned off by her actions. She knew that parts of the audience tended to villainize the killers, hell every contestant on this show had their fair share of haters, but she hadn't yet considered how that would be applied to her. Oh dear no, she didn't want them to hate her, this was supposed to be her starring role, they were supposed to adore her and root for her and-
She glanced back at Abel's body, grimacing as she did so.
The mask began to slip.
She inhaled deeply, looked away again.
No, no, they might not necessarily hate her, even if they thought she was a villain. Villains were quite often some of the most popular and discussed characters in any given story. Yes, actually, that was a good way of looking at it. Being a villain would draw eyes in her direction. Maybe some of them might look upon her with scorn, but certainly most would be interested, entertained by her, right? Appreciate her for her role in the wider story?
You couldn't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. That was something Alice, Seo-yun's babysitter and impromptu-music-teacher when she was a child, would say to her quite often when she was initially learning how to sing. She could apply that same proverb to this situation quite easily. Killing might earn her a few enemies, but it would earn her a fair share of fans, too. It had to, after all, because she was Seo-yun, star in the making.
She exhaled, and the mask went back on.
Back to work, then. One-tenth of the way to victory, to stardom, and now she was far better equipped to make it happen. That being said, she didn't like the atmosphere of this place now that the dust had settled, she didn't like the thoughts it was bringing to the forefront of her mind. It was time to leave.
She took a few steps and scooped the skillet off the ground from where it had landed earlier, foisting it into Mandy's hands.
"I want to leave before anyone else shows up, but before then, take this. I don't need this anymore, and it will probably serve you better than your umbrella if we get into another fight."
Her tone was flat, even. Not betraying any of the doubt and confusion she had felt just a moment prior.
"I'll be keeping the shotgun. You can keep the supplies in the backpack, I'll just need the ammunition out of it while we're traveling."
With that, she turned away, readjusting her own pack and readying the shotgun for the journey ahead.
((Without waiting for a response, she quickly left the shop boat behind, walking out into the noon-day sun.))
As Mandy trailed off, Seo-yun was given pause, looking back up from the shotgun and at her. Up to this point, the idea that Abel even had a family hadn't actually crossed her mind. Now that she was thinking about it, though, it was obvious that he had to have one. Maybe not siblings, like Mandy suggested, but parents at least. When this footage aired, would they be watching? When they saw what happened, would they... hate her?
She tensed up.
That wasn't good. Until now she had been so focused on the wider audience, she had forgotten to consider that there would inevitably be some viewers that would be turned off by her actions. She knew that parts of the audience tended to villainize the killers, hell every contestant on this show had their fair share of haters, but she hadn't yet considered how that would be applied to her. Oh dear no, she didn't want them to hate her, this was supposed to be her starring role, they were supposed to adore her and root for her and-
She glanced back at Abel's body, grimacing as she did so.
The mask began to slip.
She inhaled deeply, looked away again.
No, no, they might not necessarily hate her, even if they thought she was a villain. Villains were quite often some of the most popular and discussed characters in any given story. Yes, actually, that was a good way of looking at it. Being a villain would draw eyes in her direction. Maybe some of them might look upon her with scorn, but certainly most would be interested, entertained by her, right? Appreciate her for her role in the wider story?
You couldn't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. That was something Alice, Seo-yun's babysitter and impromptu-music-teacher when she was a child, would say to her quite often when she was initially learning how to sing. She could apply that same proverb to this situation quite easily. Killing might earn her a few enemies, but it would earn her a fair share of fans, too. It had to, after all, because she was Seo-yun, star in the making.
She exhaled, and the mask went back on.
Back to work, then. One-tenth of the way to victory, to stardom, and now she was far better equipped to make it happen. That being said, she didn't like the atmosphere of this place now that the dust had settled, she didn't like the thoughts it was bringing to the forefront of her mind. It was time to leave.
She took a few steps and scooped the skillet off the ground from where it had landed earlier, foisting it into Mandy's hands.
"I want to leave before anyone else shows up, but before then, take this. I don't need this anymore, and it will probably serve you better than your umbrella if we get into another fight."
Her tone was flat, even. Not betraying any of the doubt and confusion she had felt just a moment prior.
"I'll be keeping the shotgun. You can keep the supplies in the backpack, I'll just need the ammunition out of it while we're traveling."
With that, she turned away, readjusting her own pack and readying the shotgun for the journey ahead.
((Without waiting for a response, she quickly left the shop boat behind, walking out into the noon-day sun.))
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MurderWeasel
- Posts: 3442
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:56 am
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
"Oh, yeah, okay," Mandy said, collecting the implements that were bestowed upon her and trying to juggle them and all of her own things at the same time. Already she was more or less talking to herself; Seo-yun was locked and loaded, ready to move out and doing so without pause. It was all Mandy could do to gather up the stuff and try to keep pace.
The skillet was hard and heavy, and it would absolutely do more damage than her poor mutilated umbrella but Mandy wasn't entirely keen on that. So far, having generally useless weapons had been reassuring. It was hard for her to imagine herself cracking bones like Seo-yun had, first just on a conceptual level and second because she couldn't even guess how hard she'd have to swing the thing. To smash a head up like when she dropped an egg on the kitchen floor, well, that wasn't a very happy visual. She decided not to picture it anymore, just like poor Abel's destroyed eye and the siblings he may or may not have had.
And of course, the second backpack was lumpy and clumsy, just like her own assigned backpack except more obnoxious because she couldn't wear them both at the same time comfortably. She couldn't wear them both at the same time at all, in fact, unless she did each one over a single shoulder (stupid-looking and a great way to lose both) or wore the spare on her front (even stupider-looking and awkward and would make her feel like a tortoise in its shell, or perhaps a kangaroo with a pouch). So she just carried it by the loop on the top, even though that tired her arm almost right away, making a note to get Seo-yun to slow down whenever they stopped to swap the bullets and to throw away all the junk in there that she didn't need and condense it into her own pack.
At least they had a gun now. It took Mandy a few moments to piece together what all had happened; during the struggle her attention had been so wrapped up in not getting shot or stabbed that she had altogether lost track of how the weapons ended up where. Now, though, she could kind of parse how it was that they came to have the shotgun that was originally Virginia's, while the other girl took off in possession of Abel's former weapon. Mandy would've called it fortunate that things had shaken out so they at least had the proper bag to reload from, except she was pretty sure it was less luck and more Seo-yun paying attention to these things and watching out for them.
The shotgun was a strong tool. Mandy felt better just having it on their side. The air in the shop boat was still thick with displaced dust and gunsmoke and pepper fumes that caught the sunlight like the air in an old attic. Breathing burned her lungs and pressed against her chest, and it was the weapon she now followed that had caused that. And with Seo-yun wielding it, they were a force to be reckoned with.
Mandy's steps picked up their pace as she followed her partner, treading as lightly as she could as they hopped from the rocking boat to the gently bobbing wooden planks of the jetties.
((Mandy Gross continued in In All My Dreams I Drown))
The skillet was hard and heavy, and it would absolutely do more damage than her poor mutilated umbrella but Mandy wasn't entirely keen on that. So far, having generally useless weapons had been reassuring. It was hard for her to imagine herself cracking bones like Seo-yun had, first just on a conceptual level and second because she couldn't even guess how hard she'd have to swing the thing. To smash a head up like when she dropped an egg on the kitchen floor, well, that wasn't a very happy visual. She decided not to picture it anymore, just like poor Abel's destroyed eye and the siblings he may or may not have had.
And of course, the second backpack was lumpy and clumsy, just like her own assigned backpack except more obnoxious because she couldn't wear them both at the same time comfortably. She couldn't wear them both at the same time at all, in fact, unless she did each one over a single shoulder (stupid-looking and a great way to lose both) or wore the spare on her front (even stupider-looking and awkward and would make her feel like a tortoise in its shell, or perhaps a kangaroo with a pouch). So she just carried it by the loop on the top, even though that tired her arm almost right away, making a note to get Seo-yun to slow down whenever they stopped to swap the bullets and to throw away all the junk in there that she didn't need and condense it into her own pack.
At least they had a gun now. It took Mandy a few moments to piece together what all had happened; during the struggle her attention had been so wrapped up in not getting shot or stabbed that she had altogether lost track of how the weapons ended up where. Now, though, she could kind of parse how it was that they came to have the shotgun that was originally Virginia's, while the other girl took off in possession of Abel's former weapon. Mandy would've called it fortunate that things had shaken out so they at least had the proper bag to reload from, except she was pretty sure it was less luck and more Seo-yun paying attention to these things and watching out for them.
The shotgun was a strong tool. Mandy felt better just having it on their side. The air in the shop boat was still thick with displaced dust and gunsmoke and pepper fumes that caught the sunlight like the air in an old attic. Breathing burned her lungs and pressed against her chest, and it was the weapon she now followed that had caused that. And with Seo-yun wielding it, they were a force to be reckoned with.
Mandy's steps picked up their pace as she followed her partner, treading as lightly as she could as they hopped from the rocking boat to the gently bobbing wooden planks of the jetties.
((Mandy Gross continued in In All My Dreams I Drown))