Someday We Won't Remember This

[KamiKaze]

No one’s looking for trouble?

Charlie closed her eyes for a moment, took another breath. She hadn’t really experienced much up until now, right? Were there really so many people who weren’t dangerous? No, there were people who were dangerous, definitely. The Program meant that people were going to kill, maim, and utterly destroy each other.

The knife flashed into her mind for a moment, repeatedly sinking into flesh. Charlie quickly opened her eyes, pushing that thought away.

“I’m not, either,” Charlie said, rubbing her arm. “I’m not looking for any trouble. I think… I’ve been lucky? I’ve only seen one other person until now.”

Focus on your breathing. You can do this.

An idea?

“Hey um… I’ve got something. Give me a sec.”

Charlie went behind the counter, and pulled out the box of donuts from a shelf underneath. Lifting up the lid to check on the sliced up pastries, she took another breath. They still looked uneven, but the red, white, and blue frosting made it clear what they were.

Maybe it’d prove something. That she wasn’t looking to hurt anyone, that she was friendly. Friendly enough, at least.

Charlie picked up the box, and gently put it on a table.

“It’s food. It’s what they gave me… I mean, you can have some, if you want...”

For emphasis, Charlie picked up a piece of donut, taking a small bite. It might prove that it isn’t poisoned or something. Either way, she kept her eyes on the group.

Please be telling the truth.

[backslash]

"So we're all on the same page then," Leo said, and forced a smile. He might have said something else, if the right words came to him, but the minute Charlie put those doughnuts on the table and offered them up to the room, Leo's stomach decided to give its own lecture.

"I-" Leo started again, cheeks flushing. He couldn't think of anything to say or anything else to do but laugh awkwardly just as he would have if his stomach had decided to growl loudly in the middle of class. He hadn't eaten in over a day -- two days? -- and even if they were more sugar than substance, the basest part of him wanted those doughnuts.

Hope, faith, belief. Those were all well and good, but nothing sealed your trust in someone quite like the unsolicited offering of food.

"You know what, I'll take one." Leo strode to the counter without preamble and selected a doughnut with blue frosting. It was so sweet that it almost hurt his teeth to bite into, and it was the best food he'd ever had. "Thank you," he mumbled through a mouthful, free hand held in front of his face so that no food would spill out and so nobody else would get an eyeful.

[Iceblock]

Sylvia went through the motions, following Leo and taking a donut herself, repeating his "thank you" like everyone had repeated what he'd said about not looking for trouble. Then she retreated back to her position by the table with her bag. She was really Echo now, only speaking others' words.

The donut did look good. There was no hint of rationing here, though she knew already that came second to trying to make peace and make allies. It didn't seem too far to guess that that was Charlie's intent. The others had to have plans, too, for the long run.

She hadn't really wanted to think about what the others might want. Not only because she didn't want to get close to them, but because she'd struggled so hard not to deal with what she wanted herself.

Because winning wasn't it. She didn't want to win by itself (a simple victory condition, achievable via planning) - she had only wanted that so that she wouldn't die. She had focused only on her plans - only on "how" and never "why" - because she knew if she thought about what happened after winning, everything would fall apart.

No, what she wanted most of all was to go home. And she'd known from the beginning that was something she couldn't have, no matter what.

She wanted her family, Jan and Phillip and Mom and Dad. She wanted her camera, her feet on the dashboard, rain on the windshield. She didn't want to be disappeared, living at best a life cloistered away. She would have never complained to serve her years in the military, but not her whole life. It was too much to hope for that no winner before had asked to go home. It was too much to hope for that a winner could live an almost normal life given that no one had ever recognized one in public after their Program was over.

Was it so bad to want? To desire the life she'd expected and nothing else? She had tried to give herself other reasons. She had given herself a strawman about authority, to do this as a duty, because she was told to. And if not that, then maybe because she was superior, more American in name and face than people like Leo and Charlie, and she needed to prove that by winning. No to that too, because the four of them were sharing food and there was no more distance, no more avoidance, and it just didn't matter to her that much anyway. Proving that she was superior, if winning would even prove that, wouldn't mean anything to her. And then patriotism was the last reason. It wasn't just a nebulous authority telling each of them to win, it was America. She had to do this for her country.

But no. Patriotism wasn't enough. There were no more reasons. Only self-preservation. She just didn't want to die.

Maybe she was exactly the sort of person the Program was meant to cull.

Sylvia closed her eyes for a long moment, then bit into the donut, chewed, swallowed. She didn't worry about how her hands were probably dirty again, how she'd left the soap on the counter when she'd gotten into that fight the night before. That didn't seem to matter now. She just wouldn't eat the part she'd touched.

There wasn't much left for her to lose. She was still almost surprised when she heard herself speak.

"I know this is a little quick, but... can we stick together, then? I mean, can I stick with all of you?"

She wasn't sure if her plan was still in practice. But she couldn't be and didn't want to be alone anymore.

[Wham Yubeesling]

Wow. Okay. Apparently nobody had noticed Buddy majorly getting the tone he wanted to convey across wrong. That was…

Yeah. That was mostly okay. Maybe it would've taken a bite from him back at school or some other time when he actually wanted attention but right now? When being under the radar was a good thing? Fine by him. Plan was still up in the air, and Buddy wasn't really sure what the end goal of all of this would be, but if he didn't know anything else about the plan he at least knew that doin' this, laying low in the group was sorta the best way for him to not get fucking shot.

And hey, when not getting shot was the aim of the game here, doing stuff that would get him not shot sounded like a pretty good plan.

Speaking of plans, though…

"I'm down with that," Buddy replied to Sylvie. "Long as none of us tries to like, stab each other in the back I'd imagine there's safety in numbers."

Well, odds are he'd probably be the one doin' the backstabbin' when things came down to it but hey, you know what he just said about keeping under the radar? About not doing stuff that would get him fucking shot?

Yeah?

Then cool. You probably knew why he was gonna stay quiet about that particular bit. You probably knew why he was just gonna go with the crowd and take a doughnut from Charlie's box.

"Hey, uh… thanks. For the doughnuts and stuff."

Nice and smooth, Buddy.

Nice and smooth.

[KamiKaze]

Another breath.

Charlie tightly closed her eyes for a second, then smiled. Very faintly, very hesitantly. Maybe she was doing an okay job, showing that she wasn’t a killer. Everyone had reached out, and grabbed their piece, and they trusted that she wouldn’t do anything to it behind their back.

Trusted.

That was a weird word, here.

They trusted that they would be able to stick together, or that they wouldn’t turn on each other. They trusted her. They trusted each other. They trusted.

Should it be used so casually?

Charlie took another breath. She wasn’t sure. But she did what came to mind.

“Sure. I’d… love to stick together.”

She had to trust those words.

[backslash]

Sticking together. That made things a little easier, didn't it, that Leo didn't have to be the one to broach the topic. He still had to float his idea and maybe do some convincing, but his foot was in the door without him having to expend much effort.

He finished his doughnut and let the others say their piece, sipping more water from the bottle Sylvia had given him. When everyone had agreed, as he'd hoped they would, he finally spoke up.

"Yeah, I... um, so I had this idea. I don't... I mean, for one thing, I don't have any supplies. I don't plan to start anything with anyone, I've already..." He stopped to take a deep breath, very aware of how his ear was ringing. "Basically, what I'm saying is, I was hoping to find some people who wanted to just... hang out. Some kind of no-violence zone, you know what I mean?"

That wasn't much of an elevator pitch, was it? Leo sighed and leaned on the counter, careful not to stick his elbow into the box of doughnuts; that'd be a good way to ruin the effect of the point he was trying to make. "I thought about things a lot yesterday, and I- listen, I'm not the kind of person who is supposed to make it out of here."

Yeah. There it was. So many reasons why he was already determined unfit to live as soon as he set foot in this makeshift arena.

"I'm still kinda dealing with that, I guess? But I've already made up my mind that I'm not going to fight it. This isn't something any of us ever wanted to have to experience. I'm not here to make it worse for anyone. What I want at this point is to spend as much time as I can with people who feel the same."

Leo's eyes traveled from person to person, wondering what they were thinking. No one in this room was someone he had considered a good friend, really, but he had never thought of them as enemies. That was something to hold onto. "What do you guys think?"

[Iceblock]

Instead of meeting his gaze, Sylvia looked at her once-bitten donut. She thought that Leo was probably a better person than anyone else here, not because she knew Buddy and Charlie well enough to suggest they were worse, but because it seemed unlikely for anyone else to have also thought to be such a martyr. She thought she probably ought to feel ashamed.

Of course, she could twist it to be bad. He wasn't doing what they were told to do. This whole thing was about separating them from each other and their lives before, not as an unfortunate side effect of placing them in an arena, but on purpose. America first, and everything else stripped away. She didn't know if that was another realization trickling in, or if it had always been obvious from the start.

To suggest that they stick together not just temporarily, but until the end - that was the exact opposite. That wasn't even to mention the part where they were giving up and basically waiting to die.

But she was listening after all.

"We should do it," Sylvia said, looking up, her voice still quiet but sure.

She wanted to believe. There was no harm in it. She could still fight for her life at the end, and until then not picking fights meant they were more likely to survive. In practice, she didn't think it was that different from what she'd wanted in the first place.

"What if someone attacks us, though?" she said. Kept going just a bit longer. "What kind of person do you think actually is supposed to make it out?"

She didn't want to light a fire in Leo, didn't want him questioning it and maybe deciding somewhere down the line he could actually shoot for winning, but she still had to ask. Cull her, and cull Leo, and cull Buddy and Charlie too? Cull everyone except the rampant patriots who could pull the trigger without thinking? She had thought about how the government would judge her and find her wanting; that said nothing of everyone else.

[Wham Yubeesling]

"So... what," Buddy said, "we creatin' some kinda Dogtown?"

Like, really. Thingo Leo suggesto was kinda majorly similar to this book his mama (god, mama; odds were Buddy would never see her again) always read to him when he was four years old about these dogs that lived on an island together. There were these… cat people who'd exploit the dogs for their own gain, but the dogs decided 'hey, screw that,' made this fortress called Dogtown, and beat the shit out of the cats to become the greatest island in the world, or somethin'. Story was… pretty obviously a metaphor of the U.S of A gettin' independence thinkin', but hey, you know what? That story was Buddy's jam when he was younger. Probably still one of the best books of all time. Really, he'd be surprised if there was a kid out there who hadn't read it.

...What, you didn't know what he was talking about?

...Really?

Well, whatever. He was getting off topic. He probably needed to give a little bit of a better reply to Leo.

"But yeah. I'm in. Don't really know what'll happen if some bad dude comes up to us and tries to take us out, but…"

He moved his hand out. Indicated his sledgehammer. Gave particular emphasis by moving the handle around a little.

"Iunno. I've been in a couple tussles here already. Maybe that'll help us out a little bit."

Well, help him seem a little important to them more like, but hey. Devil was in the details, and as far as Buddy was concerned, the devil did his best work right outta everyone's sight.

[KamiKaze]

A no-violence zone.

Charlie felt herself again tightly blink at the idea, pushing aside some thoughts. It sounded... good. She just wasn’t sure if it’d stick.

If someone came in… if someone...

The sliver of knife peeked through her memory again. A pain in her chest matched. They trusted her, she had to keep telling herself that. They trusted her, and each other, and she had to trust them, at least on some level.

He even compared it to this picture book of cats and dogs. She remembered that one, but she always thought the pictures were creepy. But, she’d always admired the dogs, and how they stood up for themselves.

Were they the dogs?

Maybe.

She still didn’t want to die, though. The pain in her chest reminded her of that.

Charlie let her eyes focus away from the sledgehammer, biting her lip. Try to continue breathing.

“If you want, we could… make a barrier? Like, even if not one of us gets out-”

Charlie cut herself off.

“Might make things more comfortable, at least.”

Comfortable was good.

She gagged herself with another bite of donut.

[backslash]

That was... a better reception than Leo had expected. Sylvia being so firm on the idea was a surprise, but one that he appreciated. She was quiet, but she was holding it together better than a lot of people, and that gave her opinion more sway in an uncertain room than maybe she realized.

"Dogtown, huh? Haven't heard that one in a while." Leo's family had had that storybook, at one point. It seemed to have gone mysteriously missing around the same time Leo's dad was shipped off for another term of duty. He couldn't recall ever reading it to Dylan along with all the other bedtime stories. "But that's kind of the idea, yeah. Staying somewhere safe sounds better to me than wandering all over the place, and, well... it's nicer to not do it alone, you know?"

Leo rubbed the back of his neck. It wasn't unusual for the eyes of a room to be on him, but he wasn't used to things being this serious. He wanted to crack a joke that would make him less self-conscious, but he couldn't think of anything funny to say.

"Barricading or fortifying or whatever with what we can find would be good, I think. The announcements haven't closed any areas off so far, so I don't think we'll be forced to move that way. And, um... if anybody tries to get in... I don't know. We'll have to deal with that when it happens. It seems like it'd really depend on the situation." Leo eyed Buddy's sledgehammer, trying without complete success to keep the doubt off his face. Buddy was about the same as Leo in terms of height and build, and Leo wasn't sure if he himself would be able to handle a tool like the sledgehammer without the risk of injury.

"...You just be careful with that, bud."

He pushed away from the counter, standing up straight again and rolling his shoulders absently. The doughnut and water weren't much, but he felt a little better with something in his stomach. Having company that didn't want to kill him was also nice.

"So... we should get started on that, yeah?" He made to move past Sylvia and Buddy before he remembered he hadn't completely answered Sylvia. He turned to her instead.

"About your question, uh. I don't know." And he smiled, the easy way that you did when you were totally unprepared for something and knew it. It was the same smile he gave teachers when he had forgotten to do the homework. It felt like the first real smile he had managed since waking up on Announcement Day. "Maybe the right kind of person has the answer to that."

With that, he resumed his movement towards the front of the pub, grabbing a chair on his way so that it could become the first piece of furniture stacked in the entrance.

[Iceblock]

Maybe the right kind of person did have the answer. It was okay not to know right now anyway. But Leo was giving up his life for whoever it was that deserved to win. It seemed important to know that it was actually worth it.

His smile seemed genuine; she didn't smile back. It just wasn't a joking matter. JB (how much had she really known him other than the object of her silly crush? how much was she just using him now as an example of what not to do?) was gone probably because he hadn't taken this seriously. And so many others were dead probably before they had even had the chance to consider what their lives and deaths were worth.

But she wasn't here to discuss the meaning of life with Leo anyway. She wasn't here to get attached. She certainly didn't want to think about how they had all once been children listening to the same picture book.

"I don't think I'll be much help with the barricade," Sylvia offered, gesturing lamely towards her tied-down arm. "But... just let me know if I can help with anything."

She hated bringing her injury back to prominence. After what Leo had suggested, the others might be less inclined to think of her only in terms of what she could offer and how useful she was, but she still didn't like it - the cost of her mistakes displayed in full.

After a bit more thought, Sylvia eased herself off the table she'd been sitting on, hefting her pack over her right shoulder, standing to watch the construction begin.

Barriers to wall others out and themselves in. The goal of nonviolence until probable violence in the name of self-defense. Different but still too familiar. Maybe this would turn out better for them than it had for her.

[Irina Ivanov]

(Edward Taylor continued from Courage)

No no, Edward, that’s not how you use the bow! You prefer crossbows, I know, but seriously, this isn’t that hard.

Edward had always known that knowing how to do something, doesn’t mean you can know how to do it. Otherwise, he would be the president of this dang country, and actually a good one to boot. He grinned a little at that thought. A few days ago, he wouldn’t have thought that of his ‘beloved’ country, but now..he didn’t know what to think. It’s one thing to brush off his country’s crimes from afar, but another thing completely once you’re in it. He couldn’t take his beloved country’s actions and brush them off now.

So congratulations America, you did the complete opposite of what you wanted to do. You turned a loyal American into a unpatriotic fellow instead.

Hah, of course there would always be people like him, who had unamerican thoughts. They were next-to-never winners. Those who thought like him usually died in game. It was a way to curb rebels, and it worked. The only problem is that it took the lives of perfectly good children as well. It curbed those who had unamerican thoughts so that mean-

He wanted to think about anything else but death, and cut that thought process off abruptly. It was all his fault, of course, that he was in the middle of nowhere, holding his bow like a paranoid madman. In the time that he spent walking as quietly as he could and practicing with his bow, he had realised that he had made a mistake heading out at night. Humans were not made to spend the night awake after all. So beyond the fact he walking and looking around for an ally, he was also lost and looking extremely exhausted. If he just fell here, right now, it would be certain doom, but strangely comforting. But he couldn’t, he knew that promised land was here somewhere...

And there it was, hopefully. Edward came across a pub, locked obviously, as he heard from the clunk on the door indicating a barricade of sorts, but it was a place he could stay. The only probably were the residents inside. Were they friendly, enemies, he didn’t know. But looking back, he knew he couldn’t go back without passing out. So this was his only option. Even if he hadn’t talked to anyone since waking up, he still had some kind of social skill. He just had to put it to use.

Walking up to the door, with a bow and arrow in hand, ready to fire, Edward wearingly stared at it for a while, yeah he definitely needed to stay somewhere, didn’t matter where.
Taking one hand off the bow, he knocked on the door and spoke through it. Knocking on wood. Hah, hah. Yeah, no time for jokes or superstition.

“Excuse me. May I come in? I’m Edward Taylor, and I need a place to stay. I promise not to hurt you, if you don’t hurt me. Uh, pretty please?”

Yeah, alright, not the best idea he’s ever had, but if seemed like a good idea ten seconds ago. This was a game of broken promises and betrayal, so that didn’t seem too trustworthy. Also something that would make him untrustworthy was the bow in his hand. He needed to have it though, if it was only two people, he might be able to take them on if they had no weapons.

“Actually. If you let me come in and don’t kill me, then um, you can have a bit of my food. Honestly.”

[Wham Yubeesling]

"Guess that puts us all in agreement, then."

Which was cool. What wasn't cool was that little jibe big Leo sent to little Buddy but eh, it was minor enough to let slide, 'specially given the whole benefit of not shaking the boat that everyone agreein' just gave them. He let go of the sledgehammer (god, first time he'd actually been able to put it down the whole time he'd been here) and let it rest on the side of the piano as he looked around, tried ta see if there was anythin' other than the chairs he could use ta keep the door hunkered down. Not as if the barricade everyone was talkin' about needed to go up right now — there was a little value in keepin' the door open, make sure anyone who wanted in could get in — but hey, time was of the wastin' here. May as well start gettin' to work-

It was only by the point that he'd picked up a chair — lifted it right behind his back, 'round shoulder level — that he realized that going forward with somethin' without asking anyone else's permission was sorta the definition of 'shaking the boat.'

...Maybe he could salvage this.

"So should we start gettin' to work now?" Buddy asked. "Got nowhere else to be, got nothin' else ta do, so…"

Aaaaaaand that was when some dude came up to the door and asked to come in. There were… a lot of questions as to who the dude at the door could be, but in Buddy's mind, there were far less questions as to whether he should be let in or not.

"Sure," he called to the dude at the door. "Might wanna ask the other three, but so long as you're a cool dude you're cool with me."

Having more people around Buddy was somethin' good for his chances, right?

((Buddy Underwood, continued elsewhere unless I'm not supposed to leave the thread, if that's the case then I'm dumb and this tag should be completely ignored by everyone including me))

[KamiKaze]

Charlie took another breath.

One thing she was good at, she guessed, was lifting. On one hand, often she’d look at her muscles, look at her height, and feel a pang in her gut. Did it make her look unattractive? Too scary? She didn’t like how it made her look, so she’d hide underneath bulky clothes and a slouch. But, that said, the reason why she kept lifting at all was simple: it was rewarding. As much as she felt self-conscious about how she looked, there was also a pang of satisfaction each time she realized she could lift more.

So, lifting chairs and tables. That’s something she could do, right?

Charlie finished her donut, and picked up a chair of her own. It wasn’t that heavy, she didn’t think.

As she carried it over to the door, someone else spoke. Charlie almost dropped it. That wasn’t part of the group.

Her eyes flicked between the others. Was it worth it?

But someone did speak up. That was a “sure.” Charlie took a moment. Was it worth it? Maybe it was one of those…

Charlie made her decision.

“Sure.”

((Charlie Pemberton continued in a thread where Yugi admits to have never heard an Elvis song in his life (let's all spam him with links)))

[backslash]

Timing was a funny thing. One second less of banter, one step a little faster, and Leo might have been right at the door when Edward came knocking with an arrow ready to draw and fire.

Leo made a point of not thinking about that too hard. Fortunately, a new conversation had already opened up so that he didn't have to.

Two votes yay right off the bat. Maybe it'd have been nice to feel the situation out a little more, see how Edward was holding up, but the people had already spoken, sort of. One second more, and Leo might have already stacked his chair in the doorway, and Edward would be left outside to wait or leave while the four inside the bar deliberated.

That was something to think on and philosophize about later, maybe.

"Sure," Leo said, another echo among the chorus. "Come on in, buddy. We've got doughnuts." And Edward had other food which he was willing to share, which the still-hungry part of Leo was pretty interested in, but business first and all that.