Tina heard more voices. Normally, she'd be able to differentiate them but right now, they all came at once in a wave of buzzing bees, entering her ears, stinging her ear drum.
"Shut up."
They were having a normal conversation, they spoke as if nothing happened and Tina gritted her teeth together. They didn't deserve that happiness. Not, not even happiness, carelessness. Tina had to be on top all the time, trying o master her environment, stay quiet and hidden and it didn't fucking work.
Why didn't she have a kill yet? What did she do wrong? She shot people, she ambushed them, she threaten them, she played the fucking game and earn nothing but a fucked up eye and a headache.
"Shut. Up."
She stood behind the dirty window. Her teeth bit her tongue, tearing apart a piece of her flesh but just kept biting harder and harder. None of this fucking mattered to them, it wasn't fair.
It's not fair, she wanted her kill and go home but for some reason, she was punished for playing the games.
"It's not fair!"
She screamed. She didn't care if they heard her. Fuck, she wanted them to hear her, acknowledge her as the threat she was. She wanted to kill someone.
Then, she slammed the butt of her gun against the window, it shattered. Smashing into pieces, Tina took one and, probably, cut her hand but she didn't care. She screamed again.
Tina disappeared, leaving a trail of blood and the sound of her voice and three bullets the parish.
Myopia
Pity only lives when it is dead
Baxter wasn't paying attention to him, but that was all right. There was someone else in the building probably, and it was easier just to focus on one person at a time anyhow. Keiji wondered if it was someone else that he knew. Knew well. He knew everyone here. Would it be easier if he didn't? He wanted to hope not.
Daniel was—was that reluctant? Keiji was never good at telling—a bit weird about actually responding. He seemed okay though, that was the important thing.
He shrugged. "Been running. Using the map. The compass thing doesn't really make sense though so I stopped." No need to bring up how much he'd gone in circles.
A window broke, and then gunfire split the air, closer than since that chase.
Keiji yelped and ducked his head. Who was that!? What was that!? (He knew what that was it was gunfire he'd known straight away because he was already starting to recognise the sound).
"Be careful!" he shouted. Someone wasn't paying attention and was firing accidentally. Mmhm.
Daniel was—was that reluctant? Keiji was never good at telling—a bit weird about actually responding. He seemed okay though, that was the important thing.
He shrugged. "Been running. Using the map. The compass thing doesn't really make sense though so I stopped." No need to bring up how much he'd gone in circles.
A window broke, and then gunfire split the air, closer than since that chase.
Keiji yelped and ducked his head. Who was that!? What was that!? (He knew what that was it was gunfire he'd known straight away because he was already starting to recognise the sound).
"Be careful!" he shouted. Someone wasn't paying attention and was firing accidentally. Mmhm.
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delicateMachine
- Posts: 295
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Daniel screamed, again, and ducked for cover, again. "Not again not again not again not again," he mutter-chanted to himself as he cowered, until it became clear that it wasn't happening again. Or, like, it had happened again, but in the current moment that he was living it wasn't still happening, and maybe it would happen again in the future but it wasn't right at the moment, and really in the greater scheme of things it hadn't happened again because this time he was outside, but the bullets were still inside, so technically he was much safer than he had been last time, but-
Wait. The person who had shot the window was outside. Keiji and Daniel were both outside. That was less than ideal, probably.
"Sorry!" Daniel said as he retreated inside the church, yanked Keiji inside along with him, then slammed the door shut. It'd be safer this way, even if they were fish in a very large barrel now, since when he and Yaz had been fish in a significantly smaller barrel it still hadn't worked out much for the mysterious gunman. At least, until Yaz had left. Therefore, if no one ever left any building ever, everyone would be safe. Boom. Perfect logic.
Wait. The person who had shot the window was outside. Keiji and Daniel were both outside. That was less than ideal, probably.
"Sorry!" Daniel said as he retreated inside the church, yanked Keiji inside along with him, then slammed the door shut. It'd be safer this way, even if they were fish in a very large barrel now, since when he and Yaz had been fish in a significantly smaller barrel it still hadn't worked out much for the mysterious gunman. At least, until Yaz had left. Therefore, if no one ever left any building ever, everyone would be safe. Boom. Perfect logic.
She looked him over, taking in all the details.
There was something about him.
He didn't belong.
In the brief moment when he took the lighter from her they were connected and they knew each other; with steady gazes they looked deep into each other and saw the other side.
Then the moment passed and he pocketed the lighter. Her eyes narrowed as he asked her for water, slowly she reached into her bag and withdrew the naked bottle, setting it down next to her but keeping a hand on top of it.
Fire for water.
"Give the lighter back and you'll get the water."
It only seemed fair. She hadn't agreed that he could take something she needed. He had decided to do that.
Before anything more could happen there was a muffled scream and one of the windows was smashed. The glass shards sparkling in the light as they fell to the floor, the final time they would do so.
Then there were three shots.
She didn't move. Her eyes stayed focused on the castaway as two others took refuge within the walls of the chapel. Unfortunately for them any divine ward the hallowed ground of the chapel could have offered had long been used up. Instead it was plain, dull and dead. It was nothing of value to anyone anymore. Time having had its way and eroded it.
"Lighter for water."
There was something about him.
He didn't belong.
In the brief moment when he took the lighter from her they were connected and they knew each other; with steady gazes they looked deep into each other and saw the other side.
Then the moment passed and he pocketed the lighter. Her eyes narrowed as he asked her for water, slowly she reached into her bag and withdrew the naked bottle, setting it down next to her but keeping a hand on top of it.
Fire for water.
"Give the lighter back and you'll get the water."
It only seemed fair. She hadn't agreed that he could take something she needed. He had decided to do that.
Before anything more could happen there was a muffled scream and one of the windows was smashed. The glass shards sparkling in the light as they fell to the floor, the final time they would do so.
Then there were three shots.
She didn't move. Her eyes stayed focused on the castaway as two others took refuge within the walls of the chapel. Unfortunately for them any divine ward the hallowed ground of the chapel could have offered had long been used up. Instead it was plain, dull and dead. It was nothing of value to anyone anymore. Time having had its way and eroded it.
"Lighter for water."
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The Honeless Beard
- Posts: 907
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- Location: Got it? Good, now get inside.
- Team Affiliation: Emmy's Selkies
It was a moment out of time, the two of them staring at each other, the weight of the lighter in his pocket itching at him, vibrating with importance. The bottle of water drew his eyes, a contained gravity that made it difficult to pull away. In his pocket was a weapon - a weapon that only existed when combined with the items she'd taken from the church.
But the water was life.
Long game, or short? Move the chains, or go for the score? How much did he trust that he'd be here when he'd need the bottle? How much did he take on faith that she'd use the lighter?
The stand-off, the reverie, was shattered like the window as bullets ripped through the silence, causing him to drop into a crouch as glass was thrown across the church, casting little reflections on the ceiling.
Kris hadn't so much as flinched.
As the gunshots carried on and the door slammed behind him, Baxter sat with his back against one of the pews, gaze moving from Kris and the bottle of water at her side towards Keiji and Daniel, standing twenty yards away, just inside the door. He was between the two and Kris, and the door was between them and the bullets. Briefly, Baxter's gaze roved along Daniel, checking for wounds, signs of injury.
When none revealed themselves, he rose, a pocket passer surveying the play, and pulled the lighter out.
"Yeah," he responded, when the echoing of the shattered glass finally dissipated in the church, tossing the lighter her way. Daniel could use the water a few days from now, anyway.
"Fair trade."
But the water was life.
Long game, or short? Move the chains, or go for the score? How much did he trust that he'd be here when he'd need the bottle? How much did he take on faith that she'd use the lighter?
The stand-off, the reverie, was shattered like the window as bullets ripped through the silence, causing him to drop into a crouch as glass was thrown across the church, casting little reflections on the ceiling.
Kris hadn't so much as flinched.
As the gunshots carried on and the door slammed behind him, Baxter sat with his back against one of the pews, gaze moving from Kris and the bottle of water at her side towards Keiji and Daniel, standing twenty yards away, just inside the door. He was between the two and Kris, and the door was between them and the bullets. Briefly, Baxter's gaze roved along Daniel, checking for wounds, signs of injury.
When none revealed themselves, he rose, a pocket passer surveying the play, and pulled the lighter out.
"Yeah," he responded, when the echoing of the shattered glass finally dissipated in the church, tossing the lighter her way. Daniel could use the water a few days from now, anyway.
"Fair trade."
Before Keiji knew it, he'd been dragged inside. That was likely a good idea, although he didn't like that it was a good idea nor that he'd thought of it like a good idea pretty much straight away. He wanted to call it careless, not—Well. Not careless.
Keiji dusted himself off after Daniel let go. He didn't want to be scared. He didn't want to need to feel afraid, or Daniel, or Baxter or anyone.
There was a girl in here too. Kris. Keiji honestly didn't know her super well, definitely not as well as Daniel and Brandon. He only knew sporty girls and she wasn't. Not that skateboarding wasn't active or anything just, not the same circles.
Neither Brandon nor Kris seemed... that bothered by the gun? Keiji wanted to find that reassuring and didn't.
Oblivious to the diplomatic negotiations underway, Keiji trotted across the room towards the others, rolling his shoulder a little bit from where Daniel dragging him along had jerked the joint.
"Hey you two! You all right?"
Keiji dusted himself off after Daniel let go. He didn't want to be scared. He didn't want to need to feel afraid, or Daniel, or Baxter or anyone.
There was a girl in here too. Kris. Keiji honestly didn't know her super well, definitely not as well as Daniel and Brandon. He only knew sporty girls and she wasn't. Not that skateboarding wasn't active or anything just, not the same circles.
Neither Brandon nor Kris seemed... that bothered by the gun? Keiji wanted to find that reassuring and didn't.
Oblivious to the diplomatic negotiations underway, Keiji trotted across the room towards the others, rolling his shoulder a little bit from where Daniel dragging him along had jerked the joint.
"Hey you two! You all right?"
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delicateMachine
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:26 pm
- Location: void
Daniel hung back. He didn't have a problem letting Keiji do the talking for a bit - dude basically oozed feelgood charisma, after all; and even if that wasn't what the situation required it was what the situation should require in an ideal world.
It didn't hurt that he was really weirded out by how calm the other two were being about literally being shot at, with a literal gun. Brandon had taken cover at least, but Kris was still sorta... standing there. Like, maybe they just had actual nerves that weren't made of styrofoam like Daniel's, but he still figured that gunfire was something any reasonable human would be spooked by.
Maybe they were just cut out for all this. Maybe everyone was, except Daniel.
He settled down on a pew, fighting back the nerves that were screaming at him to dive for cover, that another one of the windows could break or someone could kick the doors in at any minute, and even though he wouldn't be able to do anything about it he'd still be able to live for a few more terrified moments.
Nah, though. Nah. He was in a church, so he was safe, even if he didn't actually believe that. It would be nice if he did. Like, Daniel considered himself Christian, but once he had gotten old enough to actually think about it he'd realized that it pretty much been just by default, since that's what his parents believed. Even then, he hadn't been to church since he was like ten, and the only thing they really did was pray whenever the entire family was actually together for a meal for once.
He did have faith, but it was a vague and nebulous belief that was based more on the hopeful feeling of 'if you try to be a decent human being, things'll work out somehow' rather than any book or sermon. As far as he concerned, the only thing that really made sense (in a way that he'd accept as being fair) was that God was caring but absent - it wasn't right for like, one cancer patient to get saved instead of another because their family prayed harder, y'know? And 'God works in mysterious ways' always seemed like a cop out.
The conclusion he'd come to was that God was someone that valued the autonomy of His creations more than anything else - even if it led to not so great things like torture and genocide and Survival of the Fittest, that meant that the good things would shine so much brighter, right? And for the poor people who live in pain and misery, who meet violent ends - they'd get the spiritual equivalent of a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate once they got to the afterlife, and maybe that'd make up for it all.
All that Daniel could really do was hope that it'd be one delicious cup of cocoa. Maybe even two of them.
It didn't hurt that he was really weirded out by how calm the other two were being about literally being shot at, with a literal gun. Brandon had taken cover at least, but Kris was still sorta... standing there. Like, maybe they just had actual nerves that weren't made of styrofoam like Daniel's, but he still figured that gunfire was something any reasonable human would be spooked by.
Maybe they were just cut out for all this. Maybe everyone was, except Daniel.
He settled down on a pew, fighting back the nerves that were screaming at him to dive for cover, that another one of the windows could break or someone could kick the doors in at any minute, and even though he wouldn't be able to do anything about it he'd still be able to live for a few more terrified moments.
Nah, though. Nah. He was in a church, so he was safe, even if he didn't actually believe that. It would be nice if he did. Like, Daniel considered himself Christian, but once he had gotten old enough to actually think about it he'd realized that it pretty much been just by default, since that's what his parents believed. Even then, he hadn't been to church since he was like ten, and the only thing they really did was pray whenever the entire family was actually together for a meal for once.
He did have faith, but it was a vague and nebulous belief that was based more on the hopeful feeling of 'if you try to be a decent human being, things'll work out somehow' rather than any book or sermon. As far as he concerned, the only thing that really made sense (in a way that he'd accept as being fair) was that God was caring but absent - it wasn't right for like, one cancer patient to get saved instead of another because their family prayed harder, y'know? And 'God works in mysterious ways' always seemed like a cop out.
The conclusion he'd come to was that God was someone that valued the autonomy of His creations more than anything else - even if it led to not so great things like torture and genocide and Survival of the Fittest, that meant that the good things would shine so much brighter, right? And for the poor people who live in pain and misery, who meet violent ends - they'd get the spiritual equivalent of a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate once they got to the afterlife, and maybe that'd make up for it all.
All that Daniel could really do was hope that it'd be one delicious cup of cocoa. Maybe even two of them.
She nodded, taking the lighter, and handing over the bottle of water in turn.
For the moment, they were with the others again.
From where she was sat she could see the other two as one of them called out. Everyone was unharmed by the shots, it was as if a lightning strike had happened nearby, an initial shock but then everyone almost immediately returned to normal. It was a passing storm, nothing more.
Leaning slightly to one side to get a better view of the pair she responded.
"We're fine."
Whatever happened now everyone was safe, if only for a moment. There was no protection in the chapel, nothing more than beliefs shield. There was no way to predict what could happen, each choice was a separate strand in a spiders tangled web. Plucking at one sending ripples across the whole structure, the results of which was impossible to truly know. Someone who had previously been safe could find themselves in mortal danger due to something that happened days earlier.
The safety of everyone was relative however, true safety no longer existed and trying to hold onto the idea was a akin to a placebo effect. Someone could temporarily trick themselves into believing that they would be alright, that they would be able to escape unharmed but eventually they would find someone who truly understood and then they would be made to see the truth.
Belief that something would protect and keep you safe would just get you killed.
They had already been abandoned.
"What about you?"
For the moment, they were with the others again.
From where she was sat she could see the other two as one of them called out. Everyone was unharmed by the shots, it was as if a lightning strike had happened nearby, an initial shock but then everyone almost immediately returned to normal. It was a passing storm, nothing more.
Leaning slightly to one side to get a better view of the pair she responded.
"We're fine."
Whatever happened now everyone was safe, if only for a moment. There was no protection in the chapel, nothing more than beliefs shield. There was no way to predict what could happen, each choice was a separate strand in a spiders tangled web. Plucking at one sending ripples across the whole structure, the results of which was impossible to truly know. Someone who had previously been safe could find themselves in mortal danger due to something that happened days earlier.
The safety of everyone was relative however, true safety no longer existed and trying to hold onto the idea was a akin to a placebo effect. Someone could temporarily trick themselves into believing that they would be alright, that they would be able to escape unharmed but eventually they would find someone who truly understood and then they would be made to see the truth.
Belief that something would protect and keep you safe would just get you killed.
They had already been abandoned.
"What about you?"
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The Honeless Beard
- Posts: 907
- Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2018 4:47 am
- Location: Got it? Good, now get inside.
- Team Affiliation: Emmy's Selkies
Baxter only smiled at Keiji's concern, a brief tug at the corner of his mouth, a fishhook pulling at his lip that revealed canines and yellowed molars. The smile faded with the seriousness of the question, Daniel's slumped form in the pews, and the bottle of water in his hand.
He tossed it in the air, watching it spiral slowly before catching it in a large palm. He looked it over, running a thumb over the ridges of the soft plastic, and moved towards Daniel, shoes making soft sounds on the church floor.
"Hey," he called softly, as Kris answered Keiji's question, and tossed the bottle to the smaller boy underhanded, waiting for Keiji to respond.
He tossed it in the air, watching it spiral slowly before catching it in a large palm. He looked it over, running a thumb over the ridges of the soft plastic, and moved towards Daniel, shoes making soft sounds on the church floor.
"Hey," he called softly, as Kris answered Keiji's question, and tossed the bottle to the smaller boy underhanded, waiting for Keiji to respond.
They were okay, or at least they said they were okay which was most of the way to okay. Well, only Kris had actually said so but Brandon had smiled so that partway counted as okay, even though Keiji himself was smiling and not really feeling it just before so—
He was going to stop thinking.
"Ahh I'm okay," he replied, chirpy, at least a little buoyed; people he knew, and the shooting had stopped, accidental or—no, the accidental shooting had stopped. "Been around. Haven't really seen anyone 'till you guys. Well, there was Donnie so that's someone but uh, yeah. I'm okay."
He was okay.
He was going to stop thinking.
"Ahh I'm okay," he replied, chirpy, at least a little buoyed; people he knew, and the shooting had stopped, accidental or—no, the accidental shooting had stopped. "Been around. Haven't really seen anyone 'till you guys. Well, there was Donnie so that's someone but uh, yeah. I'm okay."
He was okay.
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delicateMachine
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:26 pm
- Location: void
"Hey," Daniel echoed to the bigger dude as he reached out to catch the water bottle. He only fumbled it a little bit, which he was proud of - sure, he was a feetball man instead of a handball man, but he still liked to think that his hand-eye coordination was pretty good. Good enough to occasionally beat Michael at his own shootman games, at the very least.
"So, uh, you know the whole 'someone just shot at us like five minutes ago' thing? Well, yesterday, after you guys left, same thing happened to me n' Yaz, but they were a lot more persistent about it, so Yaz was like 'we probably shouldn't stay here', and I was like 'yeah, but I can barely even walk', and then she was like 'no problem, I'll just go look around and then come back for you', and then she left, and then she didn't come back, for, uh, obvious reasons, and then none of you came back, and... yeah."
Brandon hadn't asked, but he deserved to know. Well, he was probably gonna ask, that would be a pretty natural thing to ask about, after all, but Daniel felt like he deserved to know something too, so might as well get right to it. He paused for a moment to catch his breath and take a sip of water that he'd forgotten he sorely needed after like an hour of walking. Hydration is always number one, kids.
"So that's, uh, that was my day. My yesterday, I guess, since you've seen pretty much all the highlights of today other than me making sure my neck didn't explode. So, like... what happened to Maxwell?" He hadn't been dead that morning, Daniel knew that much, but he also knew that it didn't mean that much anymore.
"So, uh, you know the whole 'someone just shot at us like five minutes ago' thing? Well, yesterday, after you guys left, same thing happened to me n' Yaz, but they were a lot more persistent about it, so Yaz was like 'we probably shouldn't stay here', and I was like 'yeah, but I can barely even walk', and then she was like 'no problem, I'll just go look around and then come back for you', and then she left, and then she didn't come back, for, uh, obvious reasons, and then none of you came back, and... yeah."
Brandon hadn't asked, but he deserved to know. Well, he was probably gonna ask, that would be a pretty natural thing to ask about, after all, but Daniel felt like he deserved to know something too, so might as well get right to it. He paused for a moment to catch his breath and take a sip of water that he'd forgotten he sorely needed after like an hour of walking. Hydration is always number one, kids.
"So that's, uh, that was my day. My yesterday, I guess, since you've seen pretty much all the highlights of today other than me making sure my neck didn't explode. So, like... what happened to Maxwell?" He hadn't been dead that morning, Daniel knew that much, but he also knew that it didn't mean that much anymore.
She was once again momentarily forgotten about as the boys had their own discussion. That was fine. She didn't need or require their attention. In fact she doubted there was much purpose to her remaining in the chapel, she had acquired the supplied she needed to continue on her journey.
There was no obvious danger lurking in the chapel and if there was it was more interested in dwelling in the dark, hidden from view.
She ran her eyes over the three stood in front of her. The castaway, the fearful one and the boy who had seen nothing. She wondered about him and if his ignorance was deliberate, his calm was born of something else, some she couldn't figure out. He could have been blinding himself from the truth, she wouldn't have blamed him for doing it.
The idea of leaving pulled at her like a rope tied around her waist. Something was tugging on it, a restlessness.
But she had time, she could wait.
She would wait. She would wait and find out more about the other two.
There was no obvious danger lurking in the chapel and if there was it was more interested in dwelling in the dark, hidden from view.
She ran her eyes over the three stood in front of her. The castaway, the fearful one and the boy who had seen nothing. She wondered about him and if his ignorance was deliberate, his calm was born of something else, some she couldn't figure out. He could have been blinding himself from the truth, she wouldn't have blamed him for doing it.
The idea of leaving pulled at her like a rope tied around her waist. Something was tugging on it, a restlessness.
But she had time, she could wait.
She would wait. She would wait and find out more about the other two.
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The Honeless Beard
- Posts: 907
- Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2018 4:47 am
- Location: Got it? Good, now get inside.
- Team Affiliation: Emmy's Selkies
"Yeah, I found her," Baxter said, his voice soft, thumb circling the handle of the knife over and over again, "in the woods. I made a marker. I was afraid that I'd find you, too."
His eyes focused on Daniel again for the first time as Maxwell's name left the other boy's lips. His gaze drifted down to the other boy's mouth, Baxter's own lips tugging downwards, before huffing out an impatient breath, itchy fingers scratching at a beard that didn't itch.
"Maxwell did exactly what I expected him to," he said, disappointment creeping into his tone, "went in half-cocked. Chased off some girl who attacked Paris."
Baxter let out another huff, turning to Keiji and smiling half-heartedly.
"But are you okay?"
His eyes focused on Daniel again for the first time as Maxwell's name left the other boy's lips. His gaze drifted down to the other boy's mouth, Baxter's own lips tugging downwards, before huffing out an impatient breath, itchy fingers scratching at a beard that didn't itch.
"Maxwell did exactly what I expected him to," he said, disappointment creeping into his tone, "went in half-cocked. Chased off some girl who attacked Paris."
Baxter let out another huff, turning to Keiji and smiling half-heartedly.
"But are you okay?"
Keiji tried not to listen in on Daniel and Brandon, and that was on account that it was rude to eavesdrop and nothing about what they were discussing.
Anyway.
That wasn't true, and it wouldn't be true no matter how much he told himself that it was anything other than wishful thinking. Keiji knew that, although more wishful thinking was that he didn't know that it was wishful thinking. And then maybe there was so more wishful thinking to not know that either—that was the kind of spiral that could just go on and on forever, wasn't it?
The point was this.
Even if it was just dreaming to look at things like nobody was killing each other, Keiji would rather look at it that way. They just had to hold out long enough and people would come along and help them out, he was sure of that much. So why look at it from a point of view that was just gonna make him sad?
Exactly.
Brandon asked again and Keiji just kind of nodded since he figured it was probably a joke given he'd already said he was okay twice, and then Keiji looked to Kris. She was being real quiet.
"So uh, you've been all on your own here?"
Anyway.
That wasn't true, and it wouldn't be true no matter how much he told himself that it was anything other than wishful thinking. Keiji knew that, although more wishful thinking was that he didn't know that it was wishful thinking. And then maybe there was so more wishful thinking to not know that either—that was the kind of spiral that could just go on and on forever, wasn't it?
The point was this.
Even if it was just dreaming to look at things like nobody was killing each other, Keiji would rather look at it that way. They just had to hold out long enough and people would come along and help them out, he was sure of that much. So why look at it from a point of view that was just gonna make him sad?
Exactly.
Brandon asked again and Keiji just kind of nodded since he figured it was probably a joke given he'd already said he was okay twice, and then Keiji looked to Kris. She was being real quiet.
"So uh, you've been all on your own here?"
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delicateMachine
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:26 pm
- Location: void
...Oh, well. Alright, that was like, a lot to unpack, but now was the time to unpack things because he was sitting down and nobody was getting shot at, so Daniel would just have to deal and actually face his problems for a bit.
He was grateful that he hadn't seen Yaz when she, well, wasn't Yaz anymore, but guilty too? Like, he was probably the person most responsible for her death other than the girl who had literally shot her; so didn't he deserve to be haunted forever by what happened to her? Like, with actual eye images instead of what he imagined she currently looked like, which was still pretty bad? He knew he was being stupid and having more stuff to have nightmares about wouldn't help anything, but like, Brandon didn't deserve to see that; and he had anyways.
Being worried about felt nice, though. Like, nice in a way that he still felt vaguely guilty about because at this point Daniel was feeling vaguely guilty about just being alive (oh. He hadn't even realized that until just then, but he totally was. That couldn't be great for his headspace) so all things considered, it didn't stick out in the mess of emotions that currently comprised a Daniel.
Still, even if they'd never been the closest of bros, it was incredibly reassuring that Brandon was on his side. Daniel only hoped that he'd be able to justify being cared about, instead of just panicking and crying and generally taking up space and resources. He gave it even odds. If he was going to pick something to be optimistic about, might as well be the fake gambling he was doing in his head that he really did have control over, if he really thought about it. Like, he could choose to be useful at any moment. It was just... hard.
Maxwell was gone, and maybe not making the best life choices, but he was still alive. Probably. That'd do for now.
He laughed a bit when Brandon parroted Keiji. Not like, a lot of laughter, but it wasn't just nervous giggling either. That was a nice feeling - he just hoped it had actually been a joke. Even assuming it was a joke, it seemed like the sorta joke that was still a question, and there probably wasn't any harm in answering it?
"Physically, yeah. Everything else, well, it'd be kind of a stretch to say 'okay' until I find Rachael or Johnny, but I guess it fits for now?" Daniel shrugged, hoping to play off the emotionally vulnerability with feigned indifference like all the cool kids do, like there wasn't a part of his mind running 24/7 making artistic interpretations about how scared and alone Rachael had to be at that very moment in time.
He glanced over at Keiji and Kris, still standing around the other side of the chapel. He lowered his voice a bit, returning his gaze to Brandon's eyes because it seemed like the solemn thing to do. "...What're we even gonna do now, man? What can we even do?" He wasn't being quiet because he was trying to be secretive or anything, it just felt weird to assume that the other two might not be involved in their futures? Like, Kris didn't seem like the type to mind, but Keiji might take it the wrong way. The literal last thing Daniel wanted to do was make Keiji sad in any way.
He was grateful that he hadn't seen Yaz when she, well, wasn't Yaz anymore, but guilty too? Like, he was probably the person most responsible for her death other than the girl who had literally shot her; so didn't he deserve to be haunted forever by what happened to her? Like, with actual eye images instead of what he imagined she currently looked like, which was still pretty bad? He knew he was being stupid and having more stuff to have nightmares about wouldn't help anything, but like, Brandon didn't deserve to see that; and he had anyways.
Being worried about felt nice, though. Like, nice in a way that he still felt vaguely guilty about because at this point Daniel was feeling vaguely guilty about just being alive (oh. He hadn't even realized that until just then, but he totally was. That couldn't be great for his headspace) so all things considered, it didn't stick out in the mess of emotions that currently comprised a Daniel.
Still, even if they'd never been the closest of bros, it was incredibly reassuring that Brandon was on his side. Daniel only hoped that he'd be able to justify being cared about, instead of just panicking and crying and generally taking up space and resources. He gave it even odds. If he was going to pick something to be optimistic about, might as well be the fake gambling he was doing in his head that he really did have control over, if he really thought about it. Like, he could choose to be useful at any moment. It was just... hard.
Maxwell was gone, and maybe not making the best life choices, but he was still alive. Probably. That'd do for now.
He laughed a bit when Brandon parroted Keiji. Not like, a lot of laughter, but it wasn't just nervous giggling either. That was a nice feeling - he just hoped it had actually been a joke. Even assuming it was a joke, it seemed like the sorta joke that was still a question, and there probably wasn't any harm in answering it?
"Physically, yeah. Everything else, well, it'd be kind of a stretch to say 'okay' until I find Rachael or Johnny, but I guess it fits for now?" Daniel shrugged, hoping to play off the emotionally vulnerability with feigned indifference like all the cool kids do, like there wasn't a part of his mind running 24/7 making artistic interpretations about how scared and alone Rachael had to be at that very moment in time.
He glanced over at Keiji and Kris, still standing around the other side of the chapel. He lowered his voice a bit, returning his gaze to Brandon's eyes because it seemed like the solemn thing to do. "...What're we even gonna do now, man? What can we even do?" He wasn't being quiet because he was trying to be secretive or anything, it just felt weird to assume that the other two might not be involved in their futures? Like, Kris didn't seem like the type to mind, but Keiji might take it the wrong way. The literal last thing Daniel wanted to do was make Keiji sad in any way.