"If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
That strain again! it had a dying fall:
O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound,
That breathes upon a bank of violets,
Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more;
'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.
O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou,
That, notwithstanding thy capacity
Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,
Of what validity and pitch soe'er,
But falls into abatement and low price,
Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy
That it alone is high fantastical."
"Very good, Peter," Mrs. Melvin said, "work on the flow a little and you could pass for a real player!"
Snickers coursed through the classroom, the connotation of the word "player" having changed since the 1600's. Peter sat down and sighed. Third period English class was always sort of a drag. Grammar and essays and the dreaded t-chart.
Shakespeare wasn't so bad, though. Peter had liked learning Romeo and Juliet the previous year, and a Midsummer Night's Dream the year before. They were like movies, and Peter thought the plays were entertaining, once the language was deciphered.
"Now, what do you think Duke Orsino is saying, Miss Stone?"
Every head turned to the small girl beside Peter. April Stone, the resident vegan activist, and one of Peter's closer friends. They had known each other since English class in Freshman year. Since then, they have always sat beside her in the class.
Peter looked over, waiting for her answer.
If Music Be the Food of Love
SDA English class; PM Egads to join
If Music Be the Food of Love
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April Stone, always one to jump on the first hint of a joke, had to stifle a laugh when Peter was described as a "playa". She’d have to use that in the future, make sure he’d never live it down. In a nice way, of course. She didn’t think she’d have to clarify, but last time she’d given someone a nickname it ended… badly. She didn't need to lose one of her closest friends- wait, how'd that one happen?- to a bad joke.
The only thing that was really stopping April from bursting out into laughter, though, was that she would invariably be the next one to have to speak. Plus, she hadn’t been paying attention to what part of the play? Poem? Oh crud, what were they even reading?`
April was never one for speaking in public.
Even less so when she had no clue what she was supposed to talk about.
So she just sat there in silence, hoping she'd disappear for a second or something.
Don't pick me, Don't pick me, repeated itself in April's head so much that when Miss- wait, no, Mrs.- Melvin's voice asked her to explain what Peter had just read, it actually came as something of a relief. She didn't stand up. Was she supposed to stand up? She wasn't exactly paying attention while Peter was talking, more focused on a nice little doodle she was drawing of an angry cat with an army helmet on pouncing on one of the more annoying contestants from the last season of SotF-TV. Looking down at the paper, she didn’t even know why she’d drawn that now. She didn't even like cats. Or army helmets.
"Um," She almost gulped. Off to a great start already. "The Duke is saying that..."
"He's, uh, saying that music is said to be, uh, the food of love in the sense that Music... enlivens love and rejuvenates it..."April's eyes wandered to the open textbook on her desk, quickly scanning the page. Was it even the right page? Oh heck, she did not plan this well. “The person- er, The Duke, is utterly frustrated in love and, um, he feels that an, er, "excess" of love might cure his passion with- no, for- and, um, apparent obsession with love.”
An awkward silence. April couldn’t muster an “I’m done now.” So she just awkwardly sat there, mouth shut tight, looking around the class.
"That's all I got," April whispered. "Peter, Help me out here, 'playa' "
The only thing that was really stopping April from bursting out into laughter, though, was that she would invariably be the next one to have to speak. Plus, she hadn’t been paying attention to what part of the play? Poem? Oh crud, what were they even reading?`
April was never one for speaking in public.
Even less so when she had no clue what she was supposed to talk about.
So she just sat there in silence, hoping she'd disappear for a second or something.
Don't pick me, Don't pick me, repeated itself in April's head so much that when Miss- wait, no, Mrs.- Melvin's voice asked her to explain what Peter had just read, it actually came as something of a relief. She didn't stand up. Was she supposed to stand up? She wasn't exactly paying attention while Peter was talking, more focused on a nice little doodle she was drawing of an angry cat with an army helmet on pouncing on one of the more annoying contestants from the last season of SotF-TV. Looking down at the paper, she didn’t even know why she’d drawn that now. She didn't even like cats. Or army helmets.
"Um," She almost gulped. Off to a great start already. "The Duke is saying that..."
"He's, uh, saying that music is said to be, uh, the food of love in the sense that Music... enlivens love and rejuvenates it..."April's eyes wandered to the open textbook on her desk, quickly scanning the page. Was it even the right page? Oh heck, she did not plan this well. “The person- er, The Duke, is utterly frustrated in love and, um, he feels that an, er, "excess" of love might cure his passion with- no, for- and, um, apparent obsession with love.”
An awkward silence. April couldn’t muster an “I’m done now.” So she just awkwardly sat there, mouth shut tight, looking around the class.
"That's all I got," April whispered. "Peter, Help me out here, 'playa' "
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Carrion Queen
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Jeanette was seated on the other side of April, but it seemed she was hardly paying attention to the proceedings of the class. Her book was open to some random page that didn't match the rest of the books around her. On the book was a small pad of post it notes which she was currently bent over with a green pen. She tilted her head back and forth as if listening to music no one else could hear while she wrote on the post it.
She delicately peeled the post it off of the pad and looked at it. "I JUST SAVED A TON ON MY CAR INSURANCE BY SWITCHING TO GEICO. ASK ME HOW"
Carefully she stuck the note on the back of the boy in front of her, making sure that she didn't apply enough pressure to alert him. She looked at it, satisfied. The note reseted between a post it that read "I LIKE MIXING SWEAR LEVELS, FUCK DARN IT" and "THIS IS MY KILLING SOMBRERO" with a picture of a sombrero on it.
She smiled a bit to herself, though her head snapped up slightly when Peter then April were called.
Oh hell
She looked around at the pages near her and started trying to flip to the matching page. Jeanette looked up at the clock, hoping for the time to run out.
She delicately peeled the post it off of the pad and looked at it. "I JUST SAVED A TON ON MY CAR INSURANCE BY SWITCHING TO GEICO. ASK ME HOW"
Carefully she stuck the note on the back of the boy in front of her, making sure that she didn't apply enough pressure to alert him. She looked at it, satisfied. The note reseted between a post it that read "I LIKE MIXING SWEAR LEVELS, FUCK DARN IT" and "THIS IS MY KILLING SOMBRERO" with a picture of a sombrero on it.
She smiled a bit to herself, though her head snapped up slightly when Peter then April were called.
Oh hell
She looked around at the pages near her and started trying to flip to the matching page. Jeanette looked up at the clock, hoping for the time to run out.
Peter had been looking at the rest of the scene, not paying particular attention to April's stuttering explanation. Twelfth Night was the play they were studying, everyone having checked a copy from the library. He heard his friend's voice, sounding slightly panicked, be side him. He quickly leaned in and whispered,
"Basically he's being all emo about being lonely."
He glanced across to his other friend, Jeanette, and saw her fumbling with her book, turning the pages to the first scene. He peeked forward to the post-its on the back of the kid ahead, and smiled. Jeanette was the other friend of his in their own grade.
Chuckling, he looked back at the page, confident he would not be called on for a while.
"Basically he's being all emo about being lonely."
He glanced across to his other friend, Jeanette, and saw her fumbling with her book, turning the pages to the first scene. He peeked forward to the post-its on the back of the kid ahead, and smiled. Jeanette was the other friend of his in their own grade.
Chuckling, he looked back at the page, confident he would not be called on for a while.
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"...Well that's helpful!" April shrilly whispered back, punching Peter in the arm, and nudging Jeanie to just pay attention for once, instead of sticking post-it’s to the back of that poor kid in front of them. What had he ever done to deserve the endless badgering and bullying he was no doubt going to receive from those notes? April had a serious frowny face for Jeanette right now. The order the teacher was going in meant Jeanette was next to answer though, and unlike some of her friends April actually wanted to help her out.
She glared at Peter without realising and went to finish off her speech- before realising that oh, wait, she was done afterall. Never mind then.
April mouthed a “Sorry,” followed quickly by a quiet "Yeah, I'm done now." and pursed her lips, scraping her front teeth on the inside of her lip and accidentally cutting it open. While she fumbled through the endless pockets and hiding places in her clothes for a pack of tissues, she quickly whispered what she could to Jeanie.
"Jeanie, you're up next." She quietly flicked Jeanette's book to the right page and went back to pretending to be paying attention to her own when the teacher turned around. "She's probably going to ask about these lines."
April quickly marked them with her pencil, put her tissue up to her cut lip, and got back to her own work.
She glared at Peter without realising and went to finish off her speech- before realising that oh, wait, she was done afterall. Never mind then.
April mouthed a “Sorry,” followed quickly by a quiet "Yeah, I'm done now." and pursed her lips, scraping her front teeth on the inside of her lip and accidentally cutting it open. While she fumbled through the endless pockets and hiding places in her clothes for a pack of tissues, she quickly whispered what she could to Jeanie.
"Jeanie, you're up next." She quietly flicked Jeanette's book to the right page and went back to pretending to be paying attention to her own when the teacher turned around. "She's probably going to ask about these lines."
April quickly marked them with her pencil, put her tissue up to her cut lip, and got back to her own work.
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Carrion Queen
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Jeanette was beyond help. There was no way she was going to be even a little prepared to answer anything when it came to be her turn.
Deploy emergency maneuverer 12.
"I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM."
Jeanette stood and grabbed the hall pass just before her turn.
She leaned down and grabbed April and Peter each by the arm.
"So do they," she said cheerfully. She looked up at the clock. About 15 minutes left. They could easily wait that out behind the bathrooms.
"April told me and....Peter....he has a small bladder. Truths, man," she said nodding seriously.
Deploy emergency maneuverer 12.
"I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM."
Jeanette stood and grabbed the hall pass just before her turn.
She leaned down and grabbed April and Peter each by the arm.
"So do they," she said cheerfully. She looked up at the clock. About 15 minutes left. They could easily wait that out behind the bathrooms.
"April told me and....Peter....he has a small bladder. Truths, man," she said nodding seriously.
Suddenly, Peter was jerked up by the arm.
What is she doing? Couldn't she just-
Ugh.
Peter's faced flushed a bit. Why did she have to say that? It's not enough that the 'player' comment will endlessly be spewing from April's mouth like a goddamn Niagara Falls of Mockery, but now everyone is gonna talk about his small bladder, which is not in the slightest bit true. Regardless, he nodded solemnly, "It's true. So tiny. The tiniest."
Mrs. Melvin's lips tightened. He knew she thought it was suspicious, but he also knew she was going over the consequences of letting an allegedly small-bladdered individual such a Peter remain behind, to possibly soil the new chairs she spent 3 years wading through forums and bureaucracy to obtain. She gave a very noticeable sigh and an exaggerated eye-roll, "Yes, Miss Buendia. You three can go to the washrooms. But make it quick."
------------
Outside of the classroom, well out of earshot, Peter groaned, "Jean, if you weren't one of my best friends, I would swear you were trying to humiliate me there."
What is she doing? Couldn't she just-
Ugh.
Peter's faced flushed a bit. Why did she have to say that? It's not enough that the 'player' comment will endlessly be spewing from April's mouth like a goddamn Niagara Falls of Mockery, but now everyone is gonna talk about his small bladder, which is not in the slightest bit true. Regardless, he nodded solemnly, "It's true. So tiny. The tiniest."
Mrs. Melvin's lips tightened. He knew she thought it was suspicious, but he also knew she was going over the consequences of letting an allegedly small-bladdered individual such a Peter remain behind, to possibly soil the new chairs she spent 3 years wading through forums and bureaucracy to obtain. She gave a very noticeable sigh and an exaggerated eye-roll, "Yes, Miss Buendia. You three can go to the washrooms. But make it quick."
------------
Outside of the classroom, well out of earshot, Peter groaned, "Jean, if you weren't one of my best friends, I would swear you were trying to humiliate me there."
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April nodded too.
"Yeah! I really have to go!" She blurted out, before covering her mouth for authenticity, throwing a subtle wink in Jeanie's way.
Nice touch, with the weak bladder thing, by the way, Jeanie. Playa needed some disadvantages to balance him out and all. Make him a more rounded character and such.
Oh God now she felt bad about the whole thing. Well, once again this was Jeanie’s fault, not hers, so at least this time she was in the clear. And at least there was no spray cheese involved this time. Or bull horns. Wait, why did she ever listen to Jeanie again? Oh, right, yeah. They were friends and all. How did they even become friends? It was a mystery, even to April. It would come to her eventually, she was sure.
Oh well, this got them all out of class and that could only be a good thing. April packed her notes in her messenger bag and slung it over her shoulder.
She slowly got out of her chair, stood up, and waddled out of the room behind Jeanie, keeping her thighs close together, and hoping no one would realise just how much she was bluffing on this one.
As soon as she got out of the room, however, her frantic giggles echoed down the corridors.
“Really, guys?” She shook her head. “Really? I mean, oh my God I can’t believe that actually worked I love you both.”
She threw her arms around Jeanie, then “Playa”, before twirling round and jumping. If anyone saw them and asked, she really needed to go.
“Come on,” April tried not to crack up at Peter’s reaction. “It worked, and if anyone wants to make fun of you for it, they’ll have to go through me!”
She threw a few wild punches in the air. She was no Bruce Lee, that was a given.
"So, uh," April tried to change the topic of discussion. "You guys see any good TV lately?"
"Yeah! I really have to go!" She blurted out, before covering her mouth for authenticity, throwing a subtle wink in Jeanie's way.
Nice touch, with the weak bladder thing, by the way, Jeanie. Playa needed some disadvantages to balance him out and all. Make him a more rounded character and such.
Oh God now she felt bad about the whole thing. Well, once again this was Jeanie’s fault, not hers, so at least this time she was in the clear. And at least there was no spray cheese involved this time. Or bull horns. Wait, why did she ever listen to Jeanie again? Oh, right, yeah. They were friends and all. How did they even become friends? It was a mystery, even to April. It would come to her eventually, she was sure.
Oh well, this got them all out of class and that could only be a good thing. April packed her notes in her messenger bag and slung it over her shoulder.
She slowly got out of her chair, stood up, and waddled out of the room behind Jeanie, keeping her thighs close together, and hoping no one would realise just how much she was bluffing on this one.
As soon as she got out of the room, however, her frantic giggles echoed down the corridors.
“Really, guys?” She shook her head. “Really? I mean, oh my God I can’t believe that actually worked I love you both.”
She threw her arms around Jeanie, then “Playa”, before twirling round and jumping. If anyone saw them and asked, she really needed to go.
“Come on,” April tried not to crack up at Peter’s reaction. “It worked, and if anyone wants to make fun of you for it, they’ll have to go through me!”
She threw a few wild punches in the air. She was no Bruce Lee, that was a given.
"So, uh," April tried to change the topic of discussion. "You guys see any good TV lately?"
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Carrion Queen
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Jeanette walked along a row of lockers opening all of the ones without locks on as she passed.
Empty, empty, empty, empty
"Hey, I got us out, didn't I? And since you played your part so convincingly with sincerity and feeling worthy of that award they give the best porn actors, I think the rest of the class knows you're in on it. If you wouldda denied is where we would have had a problem, homes."
Empty, empty, empty
Her nails clacked slightly against the metal surfaces.
"I always sort of thought the Oscar award looked like a giant gold penis anyway. They should have given that guy some hair," she said absently.
She turned back and saw April beating the hell out of the invisible threat. It really looked more like flailing. Jeanette grinned.
"T.V. Now that's where it's at, right? I dunno, I watch Jerry Springer and stuff when it's on. Maury and stuff. That shit is hilarious."
Bingo
The last locker was without a lock, but full of possessions. The owner must have forgotten to put it back on. She riffled around inside a bit and smiled devilishly at a can of Dark Temptation Axe body spray.
"YOU STOLE MAH MAN, YOU HOE," she said while pointing dramatically at Peter.
"NOW HE NO WANT ME NO MO''" she yelled in her best impersonation of a Maury guest and sprayed the can at April.
Empty, empty, empty, empty
"Hey, I got us out, didn't I? And since you played your part so convincingly with sincerity and feeling worthy of that award they give the best porn actors, I think the rest of the class knows you're in on it. If you wouldda denied is where we would have had a problem, homes."
Empty, empty, empty
Her nails clacked slightly against the metal surfaces.
"I always sort of thought the Oscar award looked like a giant gold penis anyway. They should have given that guy some hair," she said absently.
She turned back and saw April beating the hell out of the invisible threat. It really looked more like flailing. Jeanette grinned.
"T.V. Now that's where it's at, right? I dunno, I watch Jerry Springer and stuff when it's on. Maury and stuff. That shit is hilarious."
Bingo
The last locker was without a lock, but full of possessions. The owner must have forgotten to put it back on. She riffled around inside a bit and smiled devilishly at a can of Dark Temptation Axe body spray.
"YOU STOLE MAH MAN, YOU HOE," she said while pointing dramatically at Peter.
"NOW HE NO WANT ME NO MO''" she yelled in her best impersonation of a Maury guest and sprayed the can at April.