Makeup

[Maraoone]

Cathryn scrolled past paintings and covers of Lady Gaga songs on tumblr, eyes red from staying up at 3 AM.

Only the hum of the air conditioner, meant to fight off the humid air in this part of Oklahoma, and the clacking of her fingers on the keyboard could be heard, and only the glow of the monitor provided light.

She was looking for inspiration, something else other than the wheat fields to fill her canvas and fuck, this wasn't inspiration, this was procrastination. She'd meant to start sketching at 8 PM and actually sleep before midnight for once, but after listening to a cover of You and I, one thing led to another, and now she had 20 tabs open of covers from the early 2010s.

Focus, Cathryn, focus.

She scrolled, trying to see if there were any ideas- shit, no, no, scroll back up, scroll back up, no, no.

She started a bit in her chair and tried to avoid catching sight of the gif, but her hands fumbled for the mouse a bit, and she ended up seeing crimson splatter on the camera.

This stuff was typically forbidden from her dashboard, but an image or two always managed to sneak in for some reason. SOTF always did that, always crept into everything like a pest. She didn't have a problem with the show itself, and the storylines were always interesting to hear about, but seeing someone's brains come out was not a good way to end an evening.

She frowned a bit at the captions below.

#rekt

Q: Where's Anna?

A: Everywhere.

Laughing at the expense of someone's death wasn't her thing. It'd never be. Honestly, it'd be kinda nightmarish to be laughed at in your last moments, to be pities, embarrassed like that.

Don't let it get to you. Just scroll past, and move on to the next drawing.

Out of sight, out of mind.
---
((Cathryn Bailey continues from The Jellies Experience))

"Out of sight, out of mind," she said to herself. "Out of sight, out of mind."

Leah's body, freezing solid, maybe looted, with no one to commemorate it. Out of sight, out of mind. Millions laughing at her tears, making jokes and puns, for being weak. Out of sight, out of mind.

The cold, cold air, nipping at your legs and arms and face and making wisps of smoke come out your mouth, not out of sight. Keep it in mind, fight off the images you don't need. She only needed to do one thing, just one thing, that, and her surroundings, were all she needed to keep in mind. She just needed to feel good for once, to not be stepped on for once.

Just sit on the bench, and wait. For someone, anyone.

[KamiKaze]

((Nina Riddhi continued from Get Motivated!))

This weather was the worst.

Nina almost wished she hadn't set out. Each time the wind whistled, it felt like someone was jabbing a pen in both ears. Even in the dim light the snow glared brightly, like someone was shoving a flashlight in her face. The chill nipped and bit at her nose and fingers. Pulling up the hood of the jacket she had found back at the souvenir shop only helped slightly. It was a miracle that no one, to her knowledge, had frozen to death. Well, maybe they did. She needed to play closer attention to the announcements. But she had to question the sanity of those in charge. If you want to watch people kill each other, why would you pick a place where they're more likely to get hypothermia? Made no sense, if you asked her.

She needed to find a warm place. Nina couldn't go back to the pub, for obvious reasons. And besides, if she wanted to find people, then they were more likely to be indoors in this weather. People like warm places to sleep, not dying of frostbite.

The snow crunched under her feet the entire time she had been walking, a little too loudly for her still aching head. The pills helped a lot, but sometimes her head or her arm would get a sharp pain despite them.

It wasn’t long before she found herself approaching a brick building. A sign on the front read “Palms Spa and Salon”. It wasn’t the same salon she had woken up in, but it was a salon. Now that she thought of it, a spa would be a good place to go until this weather was over. There was a chance there was a sauna in there, and if it worked? Warmth. It probably didn’t, but it was worth checking out.

As she stepped closer, she saw someone sitting on a bench. Nina froze up, her feet coming to a stop. Another person could mean a lot of things. But people were what she wanted to find right now. Nina inched forward, with a bit of hesitancy. Even if she wanted to help people, she had to make sure they weren’t going to attack or something first.

Nina recognized the girl once she got close enough. Whitree was a small school in a small town, and she recognized Cathryn Bailey. She was on the school choir. Sometimes the choir had performed the same night as the orchestra, so it was pretty easy to remember her. Cathryn had a temper, but she wasn’t like, say, Sissy. She didn’t look so good right now. As far as Nina could tell, she wasn’t injured, but she did seem a little miserable. And in this weather, cold too.

She had to speak up.

“Um… hey Cathryn”, she said, stepping a little more close. “I’m… I’m not playing, don’t worry.”

It was kind of sad when you have to tell people you won’t kill them. Though maybe the hood, the bruises, and the broken wrist made her look a little sketchy right now. Hopefully she wasn’t willing to use any weapons on her right now.

[Maraoone]

Her luck would've had to run out sometimes, right? She couldn't just keep running into Davison kids all the time, the odds would never be that nice to her. But she couldn't whine, not now, she needed Nina, she needed someone right now. So, she'd let the cycle repeat, even though it had changed a bit. She wouldn't stop it now, not yet.

She shivered a bit, hid her hands in her armpits, and stood up, walking past the broken remnants of her headset. She wouldn't need to listen to Jewel's words, not now, not ever. And if she came for her, then she'll come. She'd be ready. She just needed this.

"S-same. Not anywhere close to playing. Uh, hey, do you have a-any blankets there? Kinda close to freezing to death here."

[KamiKaze]

Nina smiled a bit at first. Not playing. Good. Then again, she could be lying. But then again, Nina had said the same thing too.

But then the smile slid off her face. Someone saying that they were “freezing to death” would be a hyperbole, but it could also be… well, literal. Again, the weather was extremely cold, and someone probably was going to freeze soon. Any minute now.

Cathryn wasn’t dressed so well, either. Nina had put on the track pants and one of the t-shirts, as well as the hoodie, and it wasn’t enough to keep the cold out. A t-shirt and shorts, she couldn’t picture what it was like. And combined with the cold, and it was clear that any moment she could pass out from hypothermia. That, she pictured, wouldn’t be a good way to go, even here.

“We should get you inside”, she said, her breath forming a mist in front of her mouth. “Maybe there’s a sauna in there that works, or… something. Anything.”

Maybe she could take off her hoodie to give to her as well? Nina hadn’t packed any spares, but now she wished she did.

[Maraoone]

"Thanks."

Cathryn stumbled a bit as she slowly walked towards the entrance, but she caught herself. Inside was only slightly warmer than inside, with a few snowflakes being blown in by a draft. In the pitch-black of the night, she couldn't tell where the sauna, or anything would be. All in her world was her own breathing, the crunch of snow underneath her feet, turning to clacks on the tiled floor, and the warmth, the comfort, of Nina's hand as she held tight.

After a few more steps, she stumbled once more, her tibia striking against wood. It should've started burning by now, but she guessed the cold blocked out everything, made it hard to tell if she was even hurting or not. She wasn't sure if she liked that yet.

"C-can we stop? Let my eyes adjust to the dark for awhile before finding that, that sauna?"

Without waiting for an answer, she sat down on whatever it was she hit.

[KamiKaze]

The two of them walked towards the entrance. It was a bit warmer inside, but not by much. The other thing she noticed caught her off guard.

“Everybody comes to Hollywood, they wanna make it in the neighborhood! They like the smell of it in Hollywood, how can it hurt you when it looks so good?”

… Music? Nina wasn’t sure if she was just hearing things at first, but there was music here. Faint, but it was there. She guessed that they left the radio or something on before the game started. If so, that would explain why the hell Madonna music was coming out of nowhere. Was that even appropriate for the situation? Then again, they played Queen after the announcement, so no idea.

At least it wasn’t that bad for her head, though. Sure, it came right the fuck out of nowhere, but she could think of worse things for her hangover.

It was pretty dark, as well. As they walked, Nina heard Cathryn hit something with her leg. Maybe there was a light in here, as well. Or maybe they could use the flashlights packed inside the bags.

Stop?

Nina nodded, looking for a place to sit down. Though, they had to look quickly. She wasn’t sure the sauna would even work, but it would be worth a shot. Nina found a cushion-covered salon chair just a few feet away, and with her good hand scooted it in front of Cathryn, sitting down.

[Maraoone]

Eventually, the pitch-black lightened a bit, turned to shades of gray, silhouettes instead. And eventually, the cold faded enough to let her feel the pain radiating from the bruise in the middle of her leg. Was still there however, still torturing. But it was tolerable, at least. She focused on the old '90s songs, Madonna maybe, playing in the background, but then that got boring, and when you took those songs anyway, all you were left with was silence. And she couldn't afford that, couldn't afford to contemplate on everything that had happened, on what had happened to Leah, on what her next decision would be, on what the next day, and the next day, and the next day held, never. But at the same time, the silence was a bit comfortable compared to her other decision, because unlike with Bella or Naomi, she didn't have the luxury of not knowing Nina. Her reputation for being a party girl, for drinking and drinking, were not unknown to Cathryn.

It was too familiar to her.

So, what was there to ask? She had to let it, let this cycle, repeat for now, because she needed it to. Finally, after a few more minutes of silence, something occurred to her, and she hated it because it would eventually turn back to her, to what had happened on this island, but there was nothing else. And it was better than silence.

"Hey. What's up with you so far?"

[KamiKaze]

Nina tilted her head. What exactly has been going on with her? She had been through a fair amount of scrapes with luck. The broken arm, still in its makeshift sling, proved that. She still wasn’t sure who exactly was dead or alive, since she didn’t pay particular attention to the announcements. Saachi and probably other people she knew were dead, though. She also fell off the wagon.

So, not very good.

“Well”, she started, first with the question that was probably on her mind. “Wanna know what happened to my arm? Some girl named Bonnie, who was rippling with muscles, came by and tried to take my shit. I tried to stop her.”

Her left hand tapped her broken wrist through the fabric. Gently, of course.

“I got this out of it.”

[Maraoone]

Cathryn squinted before she could make out the wrist, bent in an unnatural direction.

"Fuck... good thing you made it out alive."

What Nina saw on Cathryn's face was a grimace, but really, Cathryn wanted to smile at the fact that the conversation hadn't turned to her. No need to bring back to mind what didn't need to be remembered now.

And the seconds of silence stretched on once more, because Cathryn had never been good at holding a conversation. Debates, maybe, but she didn't want to get into a fight with someone, not now. Questions popped up every now and then, but all of them had foregone conclusions. 'Anything good happen to you?' 'Aside from surviving one day, no.' She asked herself what she didn't know about Nina.

There was more to her than drinking, right? Hopefully?

"Stupid question, I know, but I can't really think of much else. Do you watch anything? I mean, aside from the show we're on."

She started laughing at her own quip, but then stopped as soon as she started.

"Like, I mean, any old shows from before SOTF was a thing."

[KamiKaze]

Nina couldn't help but chuckle a bit at her reaction. It was true, wasn't it? Sure, she was grimacing, but it was the most accurate thing ever. She wanted to ask Cathryn about how her game had gone, aside from being cold, but she asked another question. It was strange to ask that now, but it brought back memories.

Nina tried to remember what exactly she watched before the game. Never SOTF, definitely not SOTF. But she watched Animal Planet sometimes. At the end of the day, she couldn't resist animal documentary and cute stories about puppies. During the Super Bowl they would have the Puppy Bowl. All of her ex-friends liked the Super Bowl. Hell, lots of people in Whittree liked the Super Bowl. But give her cute puppies any day. It was better than the Super Bowl, and way better than... whatever this was.

Papa had some films too, from India. A good portion of them were musicals. Of course they were musicals. Bollywood loved the hell out of those. Nina remembered one. The story was about the British colonizing a village and making the taxes extremely high, so they challenged them to a cricket match so if they’d win, the British would give in to their demands. Because of course you challenge British people to cricket. It was the odd mix of a historical drama, a sports film, and a musical, and Nina loved it. Maybe it was high up on her list of favorite movies, come to think of it. She hadn’t actually seen any in a long time.

She felt a small flash of sadness, remembering how she probably wouldn’t have another chance.

Nina was never too much of a TV or movie person, she realized. At least, she never put much thought into what she watched beforehand.

She thought a bit more, then said “I… I didn’t watch much TV. I did watch a bit of Animal Planet, though. And sometimes, I would watch movies. I remember seeing some Bollywood movies. What about you?”

Nina was smiling, but deep down she felt somewhat self-conscious. Didn’t help that her head still ached as well. She turned her head to see that it was still snowing like there was no tomorrow. The Madonna music blended with the occasional whistle in the air, and the jabs in her ears would still poke, but it wasn’t as bad as it was before.

“We should stick around here. At least until it stops snowing like hell”, she added.

[Maraoone]

((GMing partially approved. Notify me if any changes are necessary.))

"Y-yeah, just here," Cathryn's purple lips muttered. And then they smiled. She tested her luck a bit more.

"Oh, uh, so-sorry. Forgot to answer you. Liked Next Top Model. Was fun seeing all th-the drama, and the competition, tension. Also kinda, sorta funny. Aside from that, not much. E-except Art Attack, I guess, but I only saw that a few times. When it w-was on, I loved it... do you like art? Like, do you draw, sculpt?"

And so that's how they spent the next couple of hours, drifting from one topic to another, from wood sculptures, to mockingbirds, To Kill A Mockingbird, to books, to English class, with either Nina or Cathryn suddenly shifting their talks to a new topic if there was ever a lull, and while it was just a normal conversation, it was a normal conversation. And they smiled, and joked, and even laughed, and it was perfect. And best yet, no one came to ruin this solitary moment of calm, of normality. The loss, and having to find another ally, and dodging bullets and watching people die before you, that could all wait another day. For now, it was just the two of them. Maybe in another world, they could have been friends. Nina was nice enough, different from the other kids that made Whittree so unbearable.

But in another world, nonetheless.

Eventually, they ran out of things to talk about, so they decided to go to sleep, go back to what'd be their real world for the last couple of days when sunrise came. And they found benches in an interior part of the salon that, with a bit of turning and patience, could serve as a decent bed. And so they both closed their eyes.

Only one went to sleep, however.

When Cathryn was sure that, yes, Nina really was snoring, she slowly got up, and walked around the salon, checking the doors, checking the rooms. No one but them, she guessed. She hoped.

She found what she was looking for, what she needed in the sauna. With a white towel in hand, she walked back to the benches where their stuff were, where Nina was sleeping.

[KamiKaze]

((Same as Mara))

Nina had never watched much reality TV. Even when you take SOTF out of the equation, she wasn’t the type to watch things like people against each other in various challenges, or even just go about their lives in the most over the top way possible. But, again, things like Next Top Model and Art Attack had to be better. Anything was better.

Which meant Cathryn had at least decent taste.

They discussed for a long time. Pretty much everything, from woodworking to English class. It had been a while since she talked with someone like this, she realized. How long was it since the last time? Hours? Days? Weeks? Months? Nina wasn’t keeping track. Sometimes even now she had trouble truly talking with people. Sure, she knew how to be friendly, crack jokes, smile. But sometimes it was difficult doing just… this.

Seriously, who knew talking about To Kill a Mockingbird could be this engaging?

Sometimes, as they talked, Nina forgot how her body, even her head and arm, ached with pain.

Eventually, though, they had to sleep. The two of them had found some benches further into the spa. Perfectly cushioned, and very comfortable. For a few minutes, Nina stared up at the ceiling in thought. Sometimes she wished that the rest of the game could be this calm. But she knew it wouldn’t. When she woke up again, it would be more death, more chaos. She would try her best to be prepared for it, though. It was going to be hard, but she knew that she could still continue with what she had in mind.

Soon, Nina closed her eyes.




And she dreamed. It wasn’t the kind you clearly remember. Nina dreamed of snakes, being beaten and battered. She dreamed of dogs with scarred faces and rabbits alone and afraid. Sometimes she would dream of tall girls with bleached hair, smiling cruelly, or of boys with capes. Or maybe it was girls with blond pigtails and spears. Sometimes she would see Saachi and Naomi. The only other people who she had an actual conversation with.

It wasn’t a nightmare, though. At least, not for her. Nightmares meant something bad. Nina was at ease with herself, at least for the time being.





It became one, though.

Nina was snapped out of her dream to something roughly pressing against her face, pushing her down. Right away her body attempted to pull away. Her left hand swiftly reached up towards her head, touching the very distinct fabric of towels. She dug her nails into it, trying to pull it away from her, but whatever was keeping it there was persistent.

She couldn’t breathe. She just couldn’t. The towel was too thick, too tight. Nina kept clawing and clawing, kept trying to get it off. She couldn’t see, couldn’t make it stop. She tried to scream, call for help, do something, anything. But it kept pressing into her mouth and nose.

Her sling loosened, releasing her right arm. The pain only was an afterthought in the struggle as it also flailed, trying to get it off her.

In her panic, she realized that someone was choking her, suffocating her. Attacking her. Her legs kicked, her left hand digging into the fabric and the right tossing about. She couldn’t see who it was, but she wanted them to stop.

Her heart raced hard. For a moment it seemed like they lost control of their grip, allowing Nina to get a crack of air. But a second later, they persisted, pushing back into her mouth. They kept pushing, and Nina kept pulling away as best as she could.

She kept trying to claw at the towel. Nina would give anything to tug it away. Just pull it away from her face. Her nails ached with each tug, only to get no results. They kept pushing and pushing.

Nina tried for another scream. It was muffled by the towel.

A pressure started to build inside her chest and throat. She knew that she was suffocating, and that if she gave up it would be the last of her. But she didn’t want to. That wasn’t her. Fuck that, she didn’t give up. So she kept struggling.

She kept doing anything to throw them off. Kicking, clawing, flailing. Even as her body weakened, she kept going. She had to. Even if she knew it was short, she wanted to live.

Nina noticed her struggles were becoming weaker. But she didn’t let that stop her. She was going to fight to the last breath. For another moment, it seemed like she had succeeded again, as she was able to tug part of the fabric away. However, it got the same result: pushed back.

She felt dizzy. It couldn’t end like this, could it? Smothered to death inside some spa? She knew it was coming soon, but she had no idea it would be like this. For the third time, she tried to yell. But she couldn’t.

Her struggle was lessening, only becoming more and more futile. Even her nails digging in kept slipping. Each time she would put her hand back, but she couldn’t keep holding on.

This really was it.

Her chest and neck felt like it was about to burst. Nina knew that no matter how much she struggled or screamed it wouldn’t stop, not until she was gone. She was pretty much dead. No, she wasn’t. There had to be a way she could breathe. Stop her would-be killer.

Nina’s body slowed further, only giving a token struggle. She knew that she was about to pass out. Maybe if she did, it would go a little less painful. It would stop hurting, and it would be over a lot quicker.

Her body was no longer moving. Nina was still, almost a rarity. Her arms hung limply, one still crooked and having a now-unknotted makeshift sling hanging from it.

Did she succeed in her goal? It only really depended on how you see it.


Honey Badger #1 Nina Riddhi- ELIMINATED

[Maraoone]

The first would always be the most painful.

Cathryn had decided this for herself hours ago, back when she was waiting in the cold, letting her skin turn purple. This was what ran through her mind as she walked in circles in the area, trying to figure out what her next step should be, trying to get over the hatred, anger, and regret, the regret most of all. She'd failed last step. Lucia was right in front of her, right there, cowering, but instead of lunging, Cathryn just ran and hid her face in her hands. No, no regrets. She'd had enough regrets back in middle school, back in high school, regrets of things she couldn't have controlled, regrets of mistakes she made over and over again, regrets talking to people who weren't worth it, regrets, regrets, regrets. No more.

She could have entered the salon a long time ago, yes, but she didn't let herself, because that time, after running away from the aqua-museum, was the time for navel-gazing, self-reflection, whatever you called it. And so she walked around in circles, pacing around like some maddened Sherlock.

And the first question was, 'Does she want to live?' The obvious answer was 'Yes', which automatically answered the next question, 'Does she want to kill?' There was the small matter of 'What will they think?' and that was answered with the litany of 'No regrets'. There weren't much people in Whittree left that mattered. Sure, for her art teacher from elementary, the choir director, the friends that Leah and she shared, it would matter so much. Losing the few people she had left, the few people she genuinely liked wasn't an event she was looking forward to. The fact that millions of people were judging her, when she cried, when she lost it, kept her awake despite her eyes wanting so desperately to nod off, but the thought of them judging her was... out of sight, out of mind. Just repeat that again, Cathryn.

She'd alienated several people, already, she'd lost so many. She could pull off a few more Band-Aids in exchange for her life, a life she could live well, a life she could spend outside Whittree, a life with people she loved. A few sacrifices were worth all that. She was done being scared. So, to prove that, she'd gotten the walkie-talkie and stomped on it, several times, until it was nothing but shards of plastic.

And so, she'd waited, and then Nina came. And she played the pity card, let all her problems be known, made friends, made that Band-Aid a little harder to pull off because Nina genuinely was a nice person, someone worth saving.

She'd come so close to walking away, and just leaving her. Nina had no dark blue headband, she had a cream-colored headband. No way both of them could make it out even if Cathryn tried.

And every second, every step she took towards the sauna to get her towel, she questioned herself, asked 'Could she do this to her?', asked 'What about someone else?' and her mind replied 'Do you want to live?' And there was no other choice, no gun Cathryn had to make it quick, no knife or dagger, nothing. Improvisation and a slower death, that was what was left.

She got the towel, and looked at Nina, eyes closed, still snoring. Peaceful. If she did it right, she'd go out that way, tranquil. The two ends of the towel twisted securely around her wrists, she looked one last time.

No going back.

She pushed with all her strength against Nina's face, and Cathryn asked herself 'Why, how could she do this' and she tried searching for a reason to hate Nina, to justify it, and after a few seconds of thinking, she went back to Nina's drinking, because that wasn't all of what Nina was, it was no justifiable reason, but it was the closest thing Cathryn got, Nina was just like her mother, and there'd be no hope for Nina, she'd just  drink and drink, be the village drunkard, and she'd show up in a courthouse and pay her fines, and for that moment, just for that moment, Cathryn was convinced that this was Nina's fate, and so she'd end this supposed fate, and she pushed, and she pushed.

And almost immediately, she woke up, she woke up, no, no, no, she couldn't, she shouldn't, and so for every push, every kick, Cathryn pushed harder, and harder, because she needed to end this quick, and oh God, Nina got a breath, push harder, push, push, push, and so the seconds passed by and turned to minutes, and she heard a few screams, and she was sure that it was Nina's because Cathryn was silent throughout the ordeal, and she needed to end this quick, needed to end this pain, for Cathryn and for Nina, and she pushed, and she pushed, and she pushed, and it was a little mercy for Cathryn that the towel covered all of Nina's face, because she'd never see those eyes, and she could run away and never know what pain she'd caused, and she pushed, and she pushed, and when Nina started weakening, her kicks started turning into nudges, she pushed even harder, and when Nina turned limp, when the screams, the claws, the kicks, the heartbeats stopped, Cathryn still pushed, pushed, pushed.

It'd been 5 minutes since Cathryn started. The salon was silent once more. Only blown air was heard. Both the wind, and Cathryn's heavy breathing. Not Nina's, Cathryn's. She laid on the floor. Next to Nina's bench. Nina's corpse. It was done. Nina was dead. And so Cathryn took a rest. A breather. Her energy was sapped. Her torso was bruised. Her limbs ached. Her thoughts came in fragments. But she was done. Part of her reminded her that she needed to leave. Get her supplies. Run from her crime. But she could lie there a bit longer.



After half an hour, Cathryn woke up from her nap. She looked over to her left and saw that Nina was still in the same position, towel still draped over her face. Curiosity, combined with a sleep-hazed mind, overcame her, and so she took off the towel.

Cathryn immediately threw up on the floor.

After her stomach was emptied, and after she stopped dry-heaving, she gathered Nina's supplies. Her first-aid kit, her food, her clothes, and nothing else.

Was she supposed to feel like this? With the taste of bile in her mouth, and mucus sliming down her throat? With tears she didn't even realize were there dripping from her cheek? Was the sight of Nina's face, mouth open, eyes open, bloodshot, skin pale, was that supposed to affect her?

Was taking her life worth it?

Long after she left the salon and gathered her supplies, Cathryn couldn't quite answer that. All that was in her head was that she had no gun, and she'd have to repeat this all over again.

((Cathryn Bailey continues in Discordant))