Am I Not Going To Vanish Today?

[Primrosette]

What was that question again?

Kaine was staring up at his room's ceiling and he reached his hand out in front of him. He could hear Sherrie laughing and chatting to her best friend, Paula, who was a chatterbox at heart. He could hear the thump of Vinnie's basketball hitting against the garage outside of his open window. Connie was giggling downstairs as she was watching a show about superbunnies. His moms were both away at work at this hour.

"...."

Kaine clenched his hand into a fist and then he unclenched his fist. Then he did it a few more times.

"...."

Was it working? Was his nerves calming down?

"Ugh...."

He lowered his hand and he rested both of his hands onto his stomach, staring back at the ceiling once again.

Watching the fans whirl around. Again and again and again.

His mind was a blank echo.

What was that question again?

He had forgotten.

Annoying.

[Primrosette]

Something shattered and smashed onto the ground behind the kitchen door.

"Oh merda!" A young male's voice cursed in Italian.

"Oh my fucking god!! Vinnie, you are such a fucking dipshit!" A young girl's voice yelled loudly and a lowly growl came from within her.

"Hey, it wasn't my fault, Sherrie! It was Mr Jenkins!"

Sherrie scoffed. "As if your ghost friend would do something as fucking dumb as this! That old man was a prankster at heart, but he wouldn't break Aubrey's favorite vase on purpose, right?"

There was a short pause.

"Ugh! Dannazione! I didn't do it on purpose!" He whined.

"HAH! As if I would believe that! You just want attention from-"

"U...Um, I could try to fix it." Another voice spoke up in a timid, softer tone.

"What? No way, Connie! We can't let you do it by yourself." Sherrie let out a small sigh.

"Man, Kaine knows how to fix things better than us." Vinnie groaned. "Can't we just ask him for help?"

"Who's fucking fault is this in the first place, Vinnie?" Sherrie growled once again.

Vinnie gulped and let out a frustrated sigh. "Ughhhhh.... FINE. We can do this together then."

Kaine opened the door then and he saw the worried and startled look on his siblings' face. "Hey, I'm here to help and we can get it done before our moms are back from work. It's better than having them mad at us for this, right?"

Sherrie huffed and nodded. Vinnie scratched his nose in embarrassment and he mumbled "yeah". Connie smiled shyly at Kaine and she gave a small nod.

Kaine was happy to help out his loving family out with anything. Even if they did have their ups and downs like a rollercoaster.

He just felt like he was....

Smiling.

[Primrosette]

Kaine stared at his phone that was resting on his desk, waiting for it to ping to life. Kaine hadn't heard from his boyfriend all day and he didn't want to let him know that it was bothering him lately. Maybe he should be the one to reach out first this time, but he didn't want to come off as the desperate, clingy boyfriend who has no chill and patience.

He needed a distraction. Maybe he could paint some rocks. Some beautiful waves? A gorgeous sunset? Maybe a cute self-portrait? He stared at his phone once again.

He needed to not be at his boyfriend's beck and call all the time. He needed to have time for himself.

"I need to have my own life outside of our relationship...." He commented honestly to himself, leaning back in his chair and he let out a small humming noise.

The phone suddenly pinged.

....

Or not.

He picked up his phone and checked out the message, like the desperate teenager that he was. He secretly craved the attention even if he was the invisible boy.

Oh, boy.

[Primrosette]

"What's it like to have two moms?"

"...What?"

"What's it like to have two moms?"

"Hayley, don't ask him that!"

"What? I'm just curious, Hazel. I wanna know what it like to have two parents of the same sex-"

Kaine shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

"....Does it really matter?"

"Huh?"

"It shouldn't matter who my parents are. They've been taking care of me and my siblings for years. They've provided us with love and a cozy home together. They also scold us and ground us when we deserve it for misbehaving and doing rebellious things that we should. They are like every parent I do. Single dads, single moms, foster parents, two dads, two moms.... I don't care what gender my parents are. As long as we are a happy family, then.... who gives a shit..."

"...."

"...."

"They'll never be your real parents... They are just fag-"

"HAYLEY!!"

"What?! It's true, Hazel! And he-"

Kaine wasn't there anymore.

He had vanished.

Disgusting.

[Primrosette]

Kaine had put out some lettuce and carrots out for the family's pet rabbits and he knew that Connie was bummed out about not being able to do it together with him. She was getting ballet lessons lately after school and he was impressed to hear that she was becoming pretty good at it at a fast pace. He glanced down at the small, fluffy, white furball called Snowy Jr and he felt a wave of warm and love taking over his heart.

"Hey, buddy. Having a good day, huh?" He petted the fuzzy creature's head gently with a display of affection.

Today was feeling like a shiny star of sunlight.

Mood.

[Primrosette]

"Hey." A pretty, glow-in-the-dark girl called out from the cashier's counter after a minute.

"...." Kaine was staring at some ice cream containers intensely.

"Hey, Kaine!" She said a bit louder and she was glad that they were only ones in the store right now. The manager was out back and stuffing his mouth with donuts likely. She thought he was a pig anyway.

Kaine suddenly felt himself coming out of his spell. "...!! Oh, hey, Marsha. You were talking to me?" He asked with a friendly smile and he pointed at himself, feeling a bit wary.

Marsha rolled her light blue irises and she chewed on her bubblegum more impulsively. "Duh! What's up with you? You've been staring at that ice cream for about five minutes now." She was over exaggerating. More like three minutes. But she had never seen him staring out for that long before.

"...I was?" Kaine looked puzzled over hearing her say that. "Huh... Weird."

"Hey, do you want to talk about it?" Marsha offered in a more gentler tone of voice.

"Uh, nah. I'm fine." Kaine said quickly as he picked up a tub of strawberry and vanilla ice cream and he went up to the counter to pay for it. "But thanks for the offer. Really."

Marsha scanned the item, she calculated the total with fast ease and placed the tub in a carrier bag. "Still, if anything is on your mind and you need to vent or just open up..." She took his money and she gave him the change back, looking at him with concern. "Just give me a call whenever, yeah?"

Kaine found himself smiling more genuinely at Marsha as talking about feelings and all that jazz (as she puts it) was not her strong suit at all. "Yeah, will do. See you, Mars." He gave her a wave before he was making his way out of the store.

"See you, Kaine!" She yelled after him and she was back into her next hour of complete boredom.

Kaine glanced up and down the sidewalk and he looked up at the night sky. Looks like there was a full moon tonight.

Kaine let out a small, tired sigh.

He was completely....

Fine...

[Primrosette]

Kaine didn't feel anything when people sent him memes. They never made any sense to him and he knew that they were supposed to be "funny". It was rare to actually have a few of them that made him chuckle or feel a bubble of warmth inside of his heart. He knew that Toma was big on random memes that made his own brain go "????". But hey, he wasn't gonna knock it. Spoiling the fun wasn't in his nature.

Sherrie called him a boomer once for not understanding a pun once.

He cringed physically.

He felt gross after that.

[Primrosette]

What if he really did want to disappear one day?

[Primrosette]

"Ow."

His finger string as he had accidentally cut it while cutting the vegetables and he had gotten distracted by his thoughts. Some dark thoughts he never wanted to say aloud to anyone. Sometimes he wondered if he should see a therapist. ...Again. He had once, hadn't worked out. He was still willing to try.

He watched as a droplet of blood landed onto the counter.

"Hm, well then."

Kaine placed his finger into his mouth.

The blood tasted so metallic. A bit salty.

He should have let the water take care of it better. Oh well.

He needed a plaster now. There was only the ones that Connie liked to use.

Rabbit designed plasters.

Heh. Cute!

[Primrosette]

He wasn't here anymore.

So his family had to deal with the aftermath regardless.