“There’s one I’m gonna kill, that’s for certain. I ain’t saying we should just get up and go get that bitch, but… we got the rest of our lives to figure out what to do.”
Crispin stared at the ground. Alan’s tactic of talking to these shitheads didn’t work. They didn’t get it, never did. Goldfish brain forehead ass bitches only understood one concept, and it was consequences. Not morally obviously, they were never in the wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault if they get caught for doing shit, but they physically understood it. Cut yourself on a knife once, you probably won’t do it again. Get hurty lesson learndy.
Alan didn’t understand that though. Crispy didn’t know if he had too much faith in people or if he still believed the rules back home applied, but even after Moose, he didn’t get it.
“I mean it though. We keep getting jumped, and they keep getting away. Fuckers are getting bolder ‘n bolder, and when they hear Moose is dead, you think any of ‘em gonna try and hold Mercy accountable? Naw dog, they’re gonna think we’re easy targets.”
His hands were shaking. Mercy killed Moose on a whim, just looking for an excuse. He knew a lot more of those shitheads had the same mindset.
“You think we’re dealin’ with people, but your wrong man. Those motherfuckers is animals, you can’t reason with them, you HAVE to beat them. They’re gonna keep coming until they understand the risks man. And if we show them those risks, and you let me put Mercy’s head on a pike on top of that fuckin prison building, they’ll fuckin learn dude.”
His voice shook. Mercy took Moose, and his face. She wasn’t getting out of this.
“I know you think you can reason with them, but they think they’re stronger than us, that there ain’t no risk. We show those stupid motherfuckers we’re as down to play as they are and they’ll think twice.”
He glanced back up at Alan.
“I know what you’re gonna say next. We do that, and we give them an excuse to hunt us, and you may be right but… now they know the risks. Now they might not be so willing to fight, and they’ll actually hear you out. And if they still don’t, fuck it, boost me and let go of my leash and let me be the attack dog you know I am, and whoever survives afterwords will listen if they ain’t fucking stupid.”
Moose Omelette
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Alan continued the application of bandages while Crispin spoke, doing his best to properly wrap his head and secure the bandages, nodding along as his friend spoke of accountability and teaching people lessons and sending a message. He said nothing in response, though.
When he felt he could do no more, Alan let out a sigh.
“I think that’s it.” Alan said with one more nod, before reordering the first aid kit and then returning that to his bag. Zipping the thing up, Alan then threw the strap over his shoulder. Turning to gaze out at Moose’s remains, his throat tightened and he could feel his face scrunch up again, but he tried to bring things back to a more passive expression.
“Alright… let’s just bury him, then.” Alan spoke quietly, letting the words hang before continuing.
“And then I think me and you should split up.”
When he felt he could do no more, Alan let out a sigh.
“I think that’s it.” Alan said with one more nod, before reordering the first aid kit and then returning that to his bag. Zipping the thing up, Alan then threw the strap over his shoulder. Turning to gaze out at Moose’s remains, his throat tightened and he could feel his face scrunch up again, but he tried to bring things back to a more passive expression.
“Alright… let’s just bury him, then.” Alan spoke quietly, letting the words hang before continuing.
“And then I think me and you should split up.”
"Yeah; okay."
Crispin pulled the hair band out, letting his hair fall in his face again. He sighed, standing up. "So that's it then?"
And just like that, everything that had happened today had been rendered meaningless to Alan. Bury Moose, wash his hands clean of any responsibility, and just ghost.
"What's your plan? Go find Austin?"
Crispin pulled the hair band out, letting his hair fall in his face again. He sighed, standing up. "So that's it then?"
And just like that, everything that had happened today had been rendered meaningless to Alan. Bury Moose, wash his hands clean of any responsibility, and just ghost.
"What's your plan? Go find Austin?"
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Alan chuckled at Crispin’s question, looking him over once again.
“Well, you can still be funny, even with Moose dead… and with your face looking like that.” He replied coolly, allowing some of his frustration to shine through before continuing.
“Don’t know what I’m gonna do. What I do know is that this,” Alan gestured between himself and Crispin, “ain’t gonna work anymore. You’ve made that shit pretty clear. So I’ll figure my own shit out.” And with that, he started to make his way over to Moose’s remains, recoiling slightly as the smell of cooked flesh seemed to hit him anew.
“But yeah, that’s it. Unless you’re hoping to have the exact same argument we had at the compound. You’re still selling the same shit as back there, after all.” He spoke carefully, his attention primarily on Moose.
“So, how are we gonna do this?” He asked, returning his gaze to Crispin, still maintaining outward composure.
“Well, you can still be funny, even with Moose dead… and with your face looking like that.” He replied coolly, allowing some of his frustration to shine through before continuing.
“Don’t know what I’m gonna do. What I do know is that this,” Alan gestured between himself and Crispin, “ain’t gonna work anymore. You’ve made that shit pretty clear. So I’ll figure my own shit out.” And with that, he started to make his way over to Moose’s remains, recoiling slightly as the smell of cooked flesh seemed to hit him anew.
“But yeah, that’s it. Unless you’re hoping to have the exact same argument we had at the compound. You’re still selling the same shit as back there, after all.” He spoke carefully, his attention primarily on Moose.
“So, how are we gonna do this?” He asked, returning his gaze to Crispin, still maintaining outward composure.
His eye twitched at Alan’s comment, both the one about his looks and what he’s doing. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Alan didn’t know what the fuck he was doing already, and what he was doing certainly wasn’t helping either him or Moose.
“You right, you right… This shit ain’t working. You’d just hold my arms back behind me and let any motherfucker waste me anyways, like you did with Lincoln and now Mercy.”
“Man, come to think of it, when have you ever had my back? You always stood in the rear, recordin’ shit when me and Moose were gettin stuck in with shit. When your ass was in trouble, we always went in swinging to get you out, but you ain’t done shit unless you knew we already won.”
He stopped. He knew Alan wasn’t trying to bury Moose out of respect. It was a change of subject, a distraction. This shit was just another excuse to dip out of shit.
“Man speaking of Austin, who’s idea was it to loot his ass after I got him off me? Gee, I wonder how that helped our non-existing representation with everyone. Walking around in his jacket ain’t sus at all!”
Crispy spit into the sand.
“Don’t even pretend you got the high ground on this shit, all you did was sit on the fence until someone wins and you pick that team. Hell I bet if Austin won you’d have had no problem snatching my J’s even if that motherfucker killed me. The second things weren’t going your way you pretend to be the mediator and throw me and Moose under the bus. Each time I got in a fight here, even when you know I coulda taken em, you pulled me back and let them beat on me. Hell if you and Moose stayed back, I wouldn’t have even needed a boost to get Lincoln or Kaine’s bitch asses on the ground. We wouldn’t have had to worry about shit. The second Mercy stepped past you you coulda easily just… gave her a fukkin shove, or even signaled me to jump in and I’d have whooped her ass too, and Moose would still be here! Something man! Then nobody would’ve died, I ain’t a fuckin’ killer, asshole, but when you see first hand what happens when you’re weak you still think that it’ll all work out!”
Crispy was crying now.
“And DON’T even try to ask ‘how are we gonna do this’ when you already know the answer! You’re gonna stand in the back and let me dig, maybe you’ll give Moose a nudge into the pit with your toe or something, because touching him with your ‘unsullied’ hands would be too icky for your faggot ass! Don’t even matter if he was your friend five minutes ago, if he ever was that, he’s burnt meat now, you can’t be assed to touch that shit!”
He hunched over and wretched out a clear mix of mucus and vomit, before wiping his mouth. He spit onto the road before getting up and screaming. “FFUUUCK!” He kicked the half melted remains of the water bottle away before kneeling over again, shaking in place.
“Ain’t got shit anymore… Fuckin’ deformed. No fuckin’ friends…
Ain’t got nothing left. I ain’t give a shit anymore.”
“Ion give a fuck.., Ion give a fuck…”
“You right, you right… This shit ain’t working. You’d just hold my arms back behind me and let any motherfucker waste me anyways, like you did with Lincoln and now Mercy.”
“Man, come to think of it, when have you ever had my back? You always stood in the rear, recordin’ shit when me and Moose were gettin stuck in with shit. When your ass was in trouble, we always went in swinging to get you out, but you ain’t done shit unless you knew we already won.”
He stopped. He knew Alan wasn’t trying to bury Moose out of respect. It was a change of subject, a distraction. This shit was just another excuse to dip out of shit.
“Man speaking of Austin, who’s idea was it to loot his ass after I got him off me? Gee, I wonder how that helped our non-existing representation with everyone. Walking around in his jacket ain’t sus at all!”
Crispy spit into the sand.
“Don’t even pretend you got the high ground on this shit, all you did was sit on the fence until someone wins and you pick that team. Hell I bet if Austin won you’d have had no problem snatching my J’s even if that motherfucker killed me. The second things weren’t going your way you pretend to be the mediator and throw me and Moose under the bus. Each time I got in a fight here, even when you know I coulda taken em, you pulled me back and let them beat on me. Hell if you and Moose stayed back, I wouldn’t have even needed a boost to get Lincoln or Kaine’s bitch asses on the ground. We wouldn’t have had to worry about shit. The second Mercy stepped past you you coulda easily just… gave her a fukkin shove, or even signaled me to jump in and I’d have whooped her ass too, and Moose would still be here! Something man! Then nobody would’ve died, I ain’t a fuckin’ killer, asshole, but when you see first hand what happens when you’re weak you still think that it’ll all work out!”
Crispy was crying now.
“And DON’T even try to ask ‘how are we gonna do this’ when you already know the answer! You’re gonna stand in the back and let me dig, maybe you’ll give Moose a nudge into the pit with your toe or something, because touching him with your ‘unsullied’ hands would be too icky for your faggot ass! Don’t even matter if he was your friend five minutes ago, if he ever was that, he’s burnt meat now, you can’t be assed to touch that shit!”
He hunched over and wretched out a clear mix of mucus and vomit, before wiping his mouth. He spit onto the road before getting up and screaming. “FFUUUCK!” He kicked the half melted remains of the water bottle away before kneeling over again, shaking in place.
“Ain’t got shit anymore… Fuckin’ deformed. No fuckin’ friends…
Ain’t got nothing left. I ain’t give a shit anymore.”
“Ion give a fuck.., Ion give a fuck…”
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Alan stood in silence as Crispin went off on his rant and remained quiet for some time after, as Crispin sobbed and cried and screamed. He felt a tightness in his throat, a lump, some kind of buildup. It was anger, sadness, a hurt that cut deeper than most others could manage.
“Yeah, fuck me…” Alan muttered, still not looking at Crispin, his voice shaking as he tried to maintain his composure, though he knew it was a fight he’d soon lose. His hands balled into fists and his back straightened.
“Fuck me for fucking trying, right?” He turned to face Crispin now, feeling a strain behind his eyes, a burning.
“Fuck me for- for fucking not dropping your ass the moment Jenelle showed up, or when you fucking attacked Lincoln when I told you- you fucking attacked him when I told you this exact sort of shit might fucking happen.” He swallowed, pointing his index finger directly at Crispin, taking a few steps forward.
“I should’ve left, cause then I wouldn’t’ve had to watch Moose get burned alive and I wouldn’t have to sit here while you scream and blame EVERYBODY BUT YOUR FUCKING SELF FOR THIS! Everybody else, even though I FUCKING TOLD YOU WHAT’D HAPPEN!” Alan yelled and could feel his throat grow dry and sore. He turned away from Crispin to run a jacket sleeve over his face, only to find it marked by tears and snot afterward.
He tried to steady his breath, to loosen the tension in his shoulders, but that would only work by degrees.
“Grow the fuck up, Crispin…” Alan began, voice growing quiet again making his way back to Moose, squatting nearby what remained of him, “...and get the fuck outta here. I don’t want your help. I’ll handle Moose with my own faggot hands.” He didn’t once look back, words coated in disdain.
“Yeah, fuck me…” Alan muttered, still not looking at Crispin, his voice shaking as he tried to maintain his composure, though he knew it was a fight he’d soon lose. His hands balled into fists and his back straightened.
“Fuck me for fucking trying, right?” He turned to face Crispin now, feeling a strain behind his eyes, a burning.
“Fuck me for- for fucking not dropping your ass the moment Jenelle showed up, or when you fucking attacked Lincoln when I told you- you fucking attacked him when I told you this exact sort of shit might fucking happen.” He swallowed, pointing his index finger directly at Crispin, taking a few steps forward.
“I should’ve left, cause then I wouldn’t’ve had to watch Moose get burned alive and I wouldn’t have to sit here while you scream and blame EVERYBODY BUT YOUR FUCKING SELF FOR THIS! Everybody else, even though I FUCKING TOLD YOU WHAT’D HAPPEN!” Alan yelled and could feel his throat grow dry and sore. He turned away from Crispin to run a jacket sleeve over his face, only to find it marked by tears and snot afterward.
He tried to steady his breath, to loosen the tension in his shoulders, but that would only work by degrees.
“Grow the fuck up, Crispin…” Alan began, voice growing quiet again making his way back to Moose, squatting nearby what remained of him, “...and get the fuck outta here. I don’t want your help. I’ll handle Moose with my own faggot hands.” He didn’t once look back, words coated in disdain.
Crispin looked up, he readied himself for whatever cheap shit Alan was gonna throw back at him. Trying? Crispin scowled, he ain’t tried since this shit started. Just sat there and watched. Blamed him for Jenelle, and didn’t do shit to try and tell her that Austin attacked first. He was close enough to see what happened, he had to know, he coulda tried there. He really ‘tried’ when Kaine ambushed him with a fucking chair. Blame him for this shit.
“Yeah, yeah it’s my fault I ain’t let a motherfucker kill my ass. I’ll note that the next time I get jumped, I’ll do the right thing and let ‘em kill me. Sorry for expecting you’d have my back.”
It didn’t matter. Whatever he had to say didn’t matter. “Your stupid ass ain’t get it yet? This shit never was about Lincoln, you told her where he at, she still stayed. Mercy wanted to kill someone man, that’s it, and that’s somehow my fault? What, you wanted me to get wasted instead, that it?” Alan didn’t give a shit.
He ain’t sorry. He’s just crying coz he got called out for once. God forbid they ever switch places, he wouldn’t last a minute.
And then he brought up Moose, and for a moment, just a single second, he sympathized with Alan. It was only that long before he knew it was another attempt at playing the victim.
“Yeah? With your shovel? Fuck outta here, you’d cut your baby ass hands and give up halfway. Moose is my friend too, least he deserves is a proper fucking burial.” Crispin had the claws to dig a ditch, he wasn’t gonna trust Alan to not wishywashy his way into doing another half ass job.
Fucking trying… Right.
“Yeah, yeah it’s my fault I ain’t let a motherfucker kill my ass. I’ll note that the next time I get jumped, I’ll do the right thing and let ‘em kill me. Sorry for expecting you’d have my back.”
It didn’t matter. Whatever he had to say didn’t matter. “Your stupid ass ain’t get it yet? This shit never was about Lincoln, you told her where he at, she still stayed. Mercy wanted to kill someone man, that’s it, and that’s somehow my fault? What, you wanted me to get wasted instead, that it?” Alan didn’t give a shit.
He ain’t sorry. He’s just crying coz he got called out for once. God forbid they ever switch places, he wouldn’t last a minute.
And then he brought up Moose, and for a moment, just a single second, he sympathized with Alan. It was only that long before he knew it was another attempt at playing the victim.
“Yeah? With your shovel? Fuck outta here, you’d cut your baby ass hands and give up halfway. Moose is my friend too, least he deserves is a proper fucking burial.” Crispin had the claws to dig a ditch, he wasn’t gonna trust Alan to not wishywashy his way into doing another half ass job.
Fucking trying… Right.
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Alan’s shoulders seemed to tense for a moment, before slowly relaxing again. Taking a deep breath, he rose to stand up straight again.
“Yeah, yeah you’re right…” He spoke up again, voice still quiet, barely audible and only granting Crispin a sideways glance, “...I’m just being stubborn.”
Shaking his head, Alan began to walk back down the road, in the opposite of the way they’d come.
“Yeah, yeah you’re right…” He spoke up again, voice still quiet, barely audible and only granting Crispin a sideways glance, “...I’m just being stubborn.”
Shaking his head, Alan began to walk back down the road, in the opposite of the way they’d come.
“Bro what the fu-“
Alan was walking away. Crispin looked between Moose and Alan, anger and maybe regret? forming.
“Ay!”
He started moving at a slow jog to catch up. He didn’t want to be right about this. He knew what he said but for the sake of having faith in anyone he didn’t want to be right this one time.
“Dude, wait the- wait up!”
A hand grabbed Alan’s shoulder. “You ain’t seriously leaving him out here are you?”
Alan was walking away. Crispin looked between Moose and Alan, anger and maybe regret? forming.
“Ay!”
He started moving at a slow jog to catch up. He didn’t want to be right about this. He knew what he said but for the sake of having faith in anyone he didn’t want to be right this one time.
“Dude, wait the- wait up!”
A hand grabbed Alan’s shoulder. “You ain’t seriously leaving him out here are you?”
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When Alan felt Crispin’s hand on his shoulder, he quickly jerked away, turning to meet Crispin’s eyes, venom in his gaze.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” He hissed, glaring and taking a few steps back.
“I try to save your ass, even when I could get along better without your fucking baggage around my neck cause YOU’RE MY FUCKING FRIEND! And then it’s- then you just throw it back in my face, blame everything on me, call me faggot? Fuck you motherfucker. I ain’t doing shit with you!” Alan was yelling again. He needed space, to get away from Crispin. He took another deep breath and another step back.
“But I was just being stubborn… you’re right. You’ll do a better job with Moose than I ever could. But I ain’t doing shit with you. I ain’t gonna help or watch.” He turned again from Crispin, walking more deliberately, with no intent of stopping until he was far away from here.
“I’m just gonna be gone.”
((Alan Melnyk continued elsewhere…))
“Don’t fucking touch me!” He hissed, glaring and taking a few steps back.
“I try to save your ass, even when I could get along better without your fucking baggage around my neck cause YOU’RE MY FUCKING FRIEND! And then it’s- then you just throw it back in my face, blame everything on me, call me faggot? Fuck you motherfucker. I ain’t doing shit with you!” Alan was yelling again. He needed space, to get away from Crispin. He took another deep breath and another step back.
“But I was just being stubborn… you’re right. You’ll do a better job with Moose than I ever could. But I ain’t doing shit with you. I ain’t gonna help or watch.” He turned again from Crispin, walking more deliberately, with no intent of stopping until he was far away from here.
“I’m just gonna be gone.”
((Alan Melnyk continued elsewhere…))
And in the end, Crispin was right. Alan didn’t care, he never did. And with that, Crispin was alone, his only friend burnt to cinders. Jenelle never gave a fuck about him and took advantage of him, Alan never gave a fuck about him and took advantage of him, and Moose was dead.
He didn’t say shit to Alan as he left. Didn’t call him the coward that he was. Didn’t call him weak, or fake. He just stared.
“You ain’t saved shit.” He was gone already, it didn’t matter. Alan’s idea of saving him was pinning the blame on him when shit went wrong, when he’s the motherfucker that blocked him from working in the first place. His idea of trying was waiting until everything was over to say ‘I told you so’ after his lack of actions, or his interference caused their situations to get worse.
Not once did Alan trust him, not once did they try something different. He wouldn’t let them. Didn’t even know what the fuck he was doing in the first place, but oh, hell think of something, right?
Crispy felt sorry for any group that parasite attached himself to.
It’s funny too, because if Crispy was as reckless as Alan said he was, if he’d actually been out to do damage instead of holding back, shit he probably could’ve killed Austin. And Kaine, and Lincoln, and hell, Mercy too. Dumbass forgot he could jump about a story high and deadlift four fifteen on legs alone. If he wanted to break someone’s neck he’d just have to kick them in the jaw, and that’s not even taking in account of his claws, or hearing, or teeth…
He turned to Moose. He figured he’d better get digging.
((Crispin Cuyler continued elsewhere.))
He didn’t say shit to Alan as he left. Didn’t call him the coward that he was. Didn’t call him weak, or fake. He just stared.
“You ain’t saved shit.” He was gone already, it didn’t matter. Alan’s idea of saving him was pinning the blame on him when shit went wrong, when he’s the motherfucker that blocked him from working in the first place. His idea of trying was waiting until everything was over to say ‘I told you so’ after his lack of actions, or his interference caused their situations to get worse.
Not once did Alan trust him, not once did they try something different. He wouldn’t let them. Didn’t even know what the fuck he was doing in the first place, but oh, hell think of something, right?
Crispy felt sorry for any group that parasite attached himself to.
It’s funny too, because if Crispy was as reckless as Alan said he was, if he’d actually been out to do damage instead of holding back, shit he probably could’ve killed Austin. And Kaine, and Lincoln, and hell, Mercy too. Dumbass forgot he could jump about a story high and deadlift four fifteen on legs alone. If he wanted to break someone’s neck he’d just have to kick them in the jaw, and that’s not even taking in account of his claws, or hearing, or teeth…
He turned to Moose. He figured he’d better get digging.
((Crispin Cuyler continued elsewhere.))
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