A Prelude to Despair

[Applesintime]

((Anthony Golden continued from Dogma))

It had been a relatively uneventful night, but you know how it is. Sometimes you get bored with murdering people and decide to have a nice early night instead, if only so you can get up earlier in the morning to go around killing more people. At least, this was Anthony's mindset when he went to bed last night. Running around all night looking for people to kill would be fun, but twenty hours without sleep and your decision-making's fucked. Get a fresh start early in the morning, when everyone else has been up from fuck knows, and you'll be better off for it.

He didn't know what time it was now; morning, judging by the sun coming through the cabin window. There was a bit of blood outside this room, so god knows who that had been in a few days ago before they got shot or blown up or stabbed or whatever. Splashing some water in his face, Anthony looked up at the bathroom sink's mirror.

He looked like shit. There was the obvious sulphuric acid burns, which still looked rawer than a slab of meat. There was the blood in his hair, some dabbed on his cheek, from who? Diana? Luciano? Nadine, maybe? He hadn't had the chance to shave in a few days either, and there was a pretty heavy dusting of golden hairs all over his lower face, which sucked because they were itchy as fuck. Pulling his shirt off, Anthony didn't look much better there either; the gunshot still looked nasty. Nastier than it felt, but it was enough to make him wince just looking at it. It had hurt like shit then, when he had been shot, but now it was a dull, constant throb, one that the shitty painkillers didn't help with.

How had he got here? Five, six days ago, he had abhorred violence. And here he was, with six people dead because of him. He could kid himself that Beau had died because players had broken his spirit, but even if that was true, Anthony had stabbed him in the neck and watched his blood spurt out like a packet of ketchup someone had stamped on. And then from there, it was just a constant whirlwind. The rage at Pippi daring to compare him to players and the satisfaction he felt when her gurgles ceased and her skull cracked open, the pain of RJ shooting him and the satisfaction of bringing the axe down onto him, Britnee and the acid, Nadine and all the confusion that had brought Anthony, with Leah's help, to the realisation he was no hero. He never had been, never would be.

But where could he go from here? He had burnt nearly every bridge he had, and the only one off this flotilla was blocked by the continued existence of his classmates.

It was too early to think about this, Anthony decided. He was going to go back and sit on the bed and eat his squid, pretend it was something better than it actually was, and wait for the announcement. Maybe Ritzy Bitchy would bring him news that Seo-yun was dead. Maybe she would still be alive and he would be able to kill her personally. Maybe Fisk, or Ivan, or Gabby would be dead. Villains dead. Maybe he wasn't better, but he wasn't murdering for fame like they were. No, he had been forced into this situation. Admittedly, forced by himself, but that was what he had been dealt, and he was just going to have to do his best. Maybe he would be able to go home, have a nice cup of tea and sleep in his own bed.

[Applesintime]

Eventually the announcements arrived, and as they rolled on, and on, and on, Anthony's face fell further and further. Leah was dead. Seo-yun had fucking managed to get the ten and get out, the little rat. Gabby was dead, but Seo-yun had killed her. Matias was dead, but Seo-yun had killed her. Seo-yun, Seo-yun, Seo-yun he was going to rip her fucking heart out and burn the little cunt alive that self-absorbed whore

"FUCK!" Anthony screamed, turning around and punching the wall, which was a bad idea because now his fucking wrist hurt, shit, he hadn't broken it had he. Still, the sheer rage coursing through his veins dulled the pain. Gabby had failed. Matias had failed. Leah had failed. How did she get so fucking lucky? How did that cocksucking cunt get that lucky? Was she able to fucking charm her way out of being murdered? He hoped she died in pain. He would make her die in pain. For Leah... why Leah? He knew why. He just hadn't been brave enough to say, didn't know why, even.

He loved her, he had only realised now. That's why he let her go. That's why he had been so worried about her at the start. And it was all for nothing. He never got the chance to tell her that, even if she said no, or wasn't interested in guys, whatever. And now she was gone, and Anthony was on the verge of tears because he was stupid, stupid, why didn't he realise this sooner? He had Rebecca, yeah, but do you know how hard it is to talk on a five hour delay? He missed the physical aspect of it. Maybe it wasn't fair. It didn't matter, because the only girl Anthony liked was dead and her murderer was out there, gallivanting around like she didn't deserve to be tortured to death.

Anthony resolved there, sitting on a bed, trying not to cry, that he would win this thing. He would find Seo-yun. And no matter what the consequences would be, for killing someone so famous and high-profile, that he would kill her in the most painful way he could and send her to Hell to burn. That was his goal, his only reason for living. Ben said he was a weapon. He was. And he was aimed at that stupid fucking cruise ship, at the cunt who had murdered ten people and then escaped. After that, he could die, life sentence, whatever.

"Ben. Don't respond. I'm not killing any Crabs. I have to win this thing, and I don't care at this point if Gregory and Ashanti are besides me or not. I'd prefer to have..." Human shields? People to draw gunfire? "...Strength in numbers."

"I.. love you, Leah. Goodbye." She wasn't here. Anthony didn't know where she was. But he was going to be out of here soon, one way or the other. Maybe he would see her in Heaven or he'd be standing at her grave. Either way, he had to keep going. He had to win this thing. For her.

Morosely, Anthony picked up his rifle and walked out of the room.

((Anthony Golden continued in my battery is low and it's getting dark))