I Want to Conquer the World

[Wham Yubeesling]

"Okay.

"...

"...

"Okay, thanks."

[Maraoone]

He let her rest.

"...

"...

"How do you accidentally break someone's knee though?"

[Wham Yubeesling]

"Fuck if I know. I was just trying to grab my bag and pull it towards my self and somehow he got launched the other direction."

[Maraoone]

"Ah.

"...

"Okay so your idea was?"

[Wham Yubeesling]

“...

“...

“So, um, the first thing I did was… well actually the first thing I did was absolutely nothing for like nearly a day and then right before the cruise ship got declared a danger zone I went up to Fisk, and Bacchia, and Keegan, and Vasily and asked to join them. Become one of them. They… laughed at me and threatened to kill me, but… Keegan, of all people, stood up for me. Told them I could join. They were all okay with letting me join, after that. So long as I… made it clear I was one of them. Kinda like… the Blood Gang from 53, if you know of that.

“It was right then when we got dangerzoned. We all had to run, so… we ran. I went to the captain’s quarters. Gave Shiva some orders. Because… my plan was to infiltrate them. Become one of them, then betray them. Kill Bacchia the moment I could get away with it. I saw what I thought she’d done to Calla, I remembered exactly how she’d just… tried to kill me and Alyssa. I… wanted to make sure she didn’t win. That you can’t just… flip a switch and kill all the people you’ve known for the past four years just because you wanna be on TV.

“Not really sure what it was. Like, revenge? Player hunting? I had aims beyond her, but…

“I dunno.

“I caught up with the others. We all went to the ferry. We… set up shop, had Sofia join the team as well, and then Bacchia had a hissy fit that James had a girlfriend and went upstairs and got ganked by Ivan. Thrown overboard. Most everyone went to try and save her and fight Ivan off, but, like, personally, I was like ‘fuck Bacchia,’ and decided to stay downstairs with Keegan. We… talked then. About stuff. I think about maybe you, for a bit? I don’t remember. Might have been about…

“What happened with Leslie, by the way?

[Maraoone]

"...Blood Gang was alright," he replied, eyes staring out at nothing. "Could've come up with a less cheesy name, but... yeah."

He'd heard her question the first time. Just didn't want to answer it straight away.

Hands gripped tight the cowhide fabric of the glove.

"...

"Funny thing is I'd been aiming to kill someone when I got on that boat. Just hadn't expected it to be him. "

A burst of air expelled from his nostrils.

"We met, had our little talk, how are you's, the obligatory shit. And then...

"...

"He asked for it, basically. Wanted out. I didn't— I didn't want to, but either I do it or someone else, right?"

No one answered for a bit. He heard nothing but tinnitus, the small, persistent echoes of previous encounters.

Hadn't ever really gone away after that closest, first, last shot of his.

He tired of it.

"Not much of a story anyways. But yeah.

"So anyways I assume you and Keegan were talking shit about me?"

[Wham Yubeesling]

“Maybe. Kinda… hard to remember. Given what happened after.

“Because, like after that Fisk came down. And he was mad that I’d decided not immediately abandoning our current post was a better idea. He yelled at me and I think… Keegan went to try and avoid awkwardness? I don’t know. He disappeared when I wasn’t looking.

“Next time I see him Ivan had snapped his neck and thrown him down the stairs.

“...

“...

“I, um, okay I lied a bit. I remember something in our conversation. About… why I hadn’t done more than kill Timothy. Think when I answered I said it was… because I’d shot Keegan. Because I knew then that I wasn’t capable of… committing. Of killing people knowing that… y’know, even if all these people sucked they were still people I’d known for several years.

“I run over to Keegan, and I’m the first to find out he’s still alive. Keegan sees me, and the first thing he tells me to is…

“Is commit.

“Is kill him.

“I…

“...

“...

“Everything after that is a blur. I remember shooting him. I remember… his head getting sprayed across the floor. I remember going up, trying to shoot at Ivan, talking to James, crying over the ferry railing…

“Think I slept by myself that night. My mind just kinda… skipped ahead. To the next day. We were standing guard when… Lucille and Akeno came. I was keeping guard and keeping hidden at the stairs. Things went to violence, Akeno started rushing at Fisk, and then…

“And then I protected Fisk. I had the opportunity to let her take him out but I… intervened. Saved his life.

“And it was at a cost as well. Akeno beelined me. Chased me. Almost would’ve beat the shit out of me if it weren’t for everyone coming in to protect me. We… killed Lucille. Drove Akeno off. Fisk looks at me, and…

“Gives me his shiv. Thanks me for saving his life.

“And, like, I think nearly all of me knew then that I’d gone so far off course with this whole traitor plan. That I’d actually become one of them. That if I kept trying to do this…

“So I told them I was going to look for Akeno. Shrugged off James when he tried to follow. Just kinda… walked around, for a while, figuring out what on Earth was going on with me, when…

“...When I found Alyssa. She was hiding out in this rowboat. She saw me, and… freaked out. Begged me not to do anything. I dropped my weapons, promised her I wouldn’t do any harm, and then… she went in on me. Called me out. Asked if there was any reason she shouldn’t get me with the trident she’d had right then and there. I tried to explain, but… I freaked out. Couldn’t. Had an anxiety attack right there. I thought she’d run or kill me, but…

“But then she ducked down. Tried to comfort me. Turned out… she had anxiety too. Kinda knew how I was feeling.

“And we talked about that. About… life. The stuff we’d gone through, and stuff. Turned out… we were similar. That, y’know, maybe if we’d met each other in better circumstances, we could’ve been friends. Alyssa… offered friendship right then. Suggested we allied. Hugged me.

“I killed her. Right then.

“Because… I knew that that wouldn’t happen. That just… ignoring everything I’ve done so far and going to live in la la land wouldn’t work. Wouldn’t do anything to erase everything I’d done.

“So I killed her. At least made it so… so that she wouldn’t have to be scared anymore. I think, in the end, it made her hate me, but…

“But it needed to be…

“...

“...

“I dunno.

“Everything’s just been… holding pattern, after that. I joined back up with the group because I guess I wasn’t actually going to leave them, we went and killed Stokes and stayed in her restaurant for the day after that, but… but I haven’t really done anything. Since then. I’ve just been milling around. Existing.

“...

“...

“Trying to figure out whatever it is I’m supposed to do next, I guess.”

…

…

The arms holding the gun up had long since lowered.

[Maraoone]

This conversation was funny. Got him feeling a bit sorry for Keegan for the first time ever. And he'd sucker punched the spoiled fucker back in high school, too. But, like, he'd started biting his lip around the time Verity started getting into the nitty gritty of what happened between them. Really began to regret even starting this conversation. She talked about his head spraying out, and he came back to that cold night on the boat, his eyes dilated out into nothing.

She moved on eventually. Talked more about the Respects.

There was another funny thing too.

Like, he knew how she felt, he knew exactly how painful it was to do what she did, but.

For the longest time, Matias had thought quite little of her. Not in a demeaning manner, just in, like, in his mind, she'd always been this scared-as-fuck wide-eyed wallflower who did nothing, just sat all terrified and shit. And there was still that aspect of her, even up to now. But, like, she stood there talking about all her ordeals and stuff, how she kept fighting and fighting and fighting to get to the next page and how, despite all her talk of being what they wanted her to be, about wanting to not be what they wanted her to be, despite all that... she still sounded pretty in control of her own fate. Like she made things happen, instead of things happening to her.

For the first time, he envied her. That was funny, wasn't it?

So, he gulped, audibly. Looked at her.

"You guys still recruiting or?"

[Wham Yubeesling]

A shrug.

"I'm not against it, at least."

A breathe in.

"We have one of your teammates hanging out with us right now, if that's of any information."

[Maraoone]

"I was kidding."

The words slipped out of his mouth before he even realized it. He regretted it before he even finished saying it.

It was stupid, like. The Respects were playing. He wanted to play. They even had a teammate of his with him. This was everything he wanted. He could've made it work.

But there was a split second where he didn't want to ride someone's coattails again.

There was a split second where, even though his walking speed was a tenth of what it was, even though literally anyone could walk up and shoot him, he didn't want to ask for someone's help again.

He was fucking self-sabotaging himself, getting carried away by some destructive whim, but.

He needed it, he needed it, he needed it, it was fucking stupid for him to even back out like this, but. There was a lump lodged in his throat and he couldn't swallow it. He needed to lean against the wall to stay on his feet, he could've asked for Verity's help to stay upright, but he stood on his feet and he stood regardless. It didn't make any sense for him to get all worked up about standing alone when he'd leaned on so many other people for so long but he did so anyways and he was doing so right now. Because he was tired of asking.

He still shouldn't have said it.

But whatever. He couldn't unsay it. Whatever.

Just a few last things.

"Is that teammate Ashanti, at least?"

The words left a bitter taste out of his mouth.

He sounded so fucking needy.

"Also do you guys even care about the whole team thing or not really?"

[Wham Yubeesling]

"No."

She shook her head. Didn't really know what question she was answering. Didn't even know what the answer to the second question was, in all honesty.

"Says his name is Gregory. He's a junior."

[Maraoone]

"Oh bee kid."

She didn't answer his other question. But that was all he needed to know, really.

Matias chuckled. Smirked at Verity a bit.

"Good luck with him."

He pushed off the wall, shifting from a leaning to some sort of standing position.

"Take care of him too, I guess? If the team thing doesn't matter too much to you guys.

"And, uh, one thing. If you're lookin' for something to do... I don't know what the fuck your gameplan is and I'm pretty sure you don't either, but whatever it is, keep doing it. You're doing just fine for yourself. I, like, want my team to win of course but if they don't manage it, then... yeah."

He pivoted around on his working leg, began to limp away from the room, and waited to die. If she wanted to shoot him in the back, she had all the time in the world to do so.

[Wham Yubeesling]

"Alright.

"...

"...

"...

"See you around."

[Maraoone]

"See you."

A small wave of the hand thrown over his shoulder.

No looking back.

Just limped.

And limped.

And limped.




He didn't die.

((Matias Juarez continues in Night Moves))

[Wham Yubeesling]

"...

"..."

Keep doing what she was doing, huh?

But what the fuck was she even doing?

((Verity Stewart, continued elsewhere))