A Heartbreak In Hell

[AnimeNerd]

[[RJ Blackburn continued from Every Final Girl Has Her Scars]]

RJ hadn’t made it far before collapsing.

It was pathetic, and he knew it, but seriously? After the day he’d had, and how much running he’d done in such a short time? Maybe someone super athletic would’ve been fine, but not someone like him. He became exhausted after everyday Physical Education. It wasn’t even on the same level as SOTF, probably.

Shit, was that part of the reason they chose him to be on the show? They wanted to laugh at how weak and wimpy he was? They broadcasted teenagers killing each other and called it entertainment, so it didn’t seem impossible. And if they had character types like slasher movies, the gym class flunkie seemed reasonable enough.

But as he breathed deeply, his lungs feeling as though they burned, he thought back to Amy, and their fight on the cruise ship. Logically, he probably should’ve died there. Amy should’ve knocked him out with the mannequin, or kicked him in the gut when that didn’t work, taken RJ’s gun, and shot him then and there. No fan fare. No potential for a sequel. Just him dead and Amy in an even better place than before.

Instead, not only did he leave that place alive, but he didn’t even lose any supplies. Yes, his hat was definitely lost by now, and his head still hurt a bit thanks to his refusal to use any pain killers, but compared to what could’ve been?

His situation was one of the more preferable options.

So RJ rolled himself over as his breathing returned to its regular rate. His legs still felt like jelly, but he rolled himself to a sitting position anyway. Maybe he wouldn’t be the survivor of the season, but if he still had a chance?

Why not fight for it?

He thought back to the ferry. About who-yes who, not what, he wouldn’t dehumanize someone just because they were dead-was there. It took him a second to remember, but he felt stupid once he did. He may not have known Maxine well, but he could recognize the red hair. How someone had not only beaten her, but also done...that to her, he wasn’t sure, and he didn’t think he wanted to find out.

It was as he dug through his backpack, grabbing the box of crackers and the already opened water bottle, he heard the voice from the loudspeakers. He whipped his head toward the nearest one, dropped the supplies back in the bag as his hands went to his gun before he realized what was going on. The guy from before explained someone-Ritzy Daggers, apparently-would say who died and what areas were off limits. ‘Information is ammunition.’ he had said.

So despite the jovial tone she had, RJ paid close attention to what she had to say. He took mental notes with the first two, partially because of the general surprise of it. He wouldn’t have expected Verity or Carol to kill.

But he also didn’t expect to ever be on SOTF. He didn’t expect Amy to betray him. What he expected meant shit here.

And then...and then...

“What?”

His voice was barely above a whisper after the words ‘Xander Miles became a casualty’ left the woman’s lips. That...that couldn’t be...it was a lie...it was a nightmare, or-

That guy Jasper getting pulled into a van, and RJ going to try and stop it.

“Welcome to SOTF-TV.”

Waking up on a lifeboat, alone, in the middle of the ocean.

Amy attacking him from behind, trying to take his gun and kill him.

Maxine’s corpse, bloody and with a horrified look on her face.

It was real. No matter how many times he thought it should be a nightmare, it was all real, all true. RJ and his classmates were on SOTF. People he knew were already killing each other.

And the man he’d been too afraid to confess to was dead. Killed by someone on his own team.

RJ didn’t care that he had missed the rest of the announcements-where to stay away, who killed Maxine, and whatever else Ritzy had to say. He didn’t care about the tears now trailing down his cheeks. He didn’t care how choked up his breathing was getting.

He needed someone. Anyone.

“Cl-Claudia?” He said, though it was more of a whimper. “Can we...can we talk? I-I need to talk with someone. Please, I just-

“Please.”

[Deamon]

After a short pause a voice comes from RJ's collar.

"Uhhhh, sure thing bud. What's up?!"

[AnimeNerd]

His world had crumbled, but it hadn't.

His life had ended, but he still lived.

Everything was different, yet it all stayed the same.

RJ kept his breathing in control as much as he could in the moment. It was either that, or try hold back the tears, and at that point he saw no reason not to let them fall.

Claudia responded, and for a moment, he didn't know how to respond. He'd called for her, but his mind was blank.

So he responded with the first thing that came back.

"I had a crush on him." He blurted out. "Xander. I-I never said anything, not to him. Or...anyone. Never thought it would work out, so I just..."

He shrugged weakly.

"Didn't talk about it."

RJ took in a big, big deep breath, before he could respond again.

"I don't know what to do. I just-I need advice, or-or something."

His heart had burst, but it stayed beating in his chest.

"I'll take anything."

[Deamon]

There's another pause before Claudia replies.

"Well...Hmm...Not to put too fine a point on this but while I'm sorry for that you don't have time to dwell on what could have been. You are in a death game here and if you aren't focused then..."

There's a single loud clap before Claudia resumes.

"You're a dead body floating in the water."

[AnimeNerd]

As blunt as the message was...RJ had to admit, the woman had a point.

RJ wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to stay sitting where he was, moping for hours and hours.

But it wouldn’t do anything. He was in a game where his classmates were killing each other. Even without the announcements, he had enough proof from just seeing Maxine’s horrifying corpse, an image still imprinted in his brain.

Thinking about the what if’s and the could’ve been’s like this would only get him killed.

“Okay,” he said, quiet enough that it was more to himself than to his mentor. Then, slightly louder, “Okay.”

One wrist wiped away the tear tracks, letting the bandana soak up the moisture. The hand on the other arm, balled into a fist, wiped at the tears still in his eyes.

Despite the soreness that still resided in his legs, RJ got to his feet. He barely felt stable, but he didn’t fall.

“I’m gonna...I’m gonna go,” he swallowed down air, grabbing the water bottle and crackers he’d dropped. He put the water bottle back in the backpack before zipping it up. He put one strap on his shoulder, then grabbed the gun.

Something told him to lighten the mood. Try to bring a smile to his own face.

“Yeah, I’ll try...not doing the dead man’s float.”

God, his jokes sucked.

[[RJ Blackburn continued Sleepless in SEA-ttle]]