Name: Lynne Hisakawa
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Grade: 12
Hobbies and Interests: Photography, journalism, literature, playing the guitar, astronomy, social media, jogging
Appearance: Lynne was born to a Caucasian mother and a Japanese father, thus her facial features offer a mix of Caucasian and Asian traits, such as pale-ish skin. Her height is above-average for her age at 5 feet and 11 inches tall. She weighs 130 pounds, keeping a slim, slight hourglass-like figure and slightly toned legs due to jogging outings.
Her face consists of a diamond-shaped head, almond-shaped eyes deep brown in color, short yet thin eyebrows, a long, slightly curved nose, heart-shaped lips, and a single mole slightly below her mouth to the left. Her black hair is short and wavy, reaching down to neck-length. She usually doesn’t were much makeup other than blush and moisturizer to avoid acne breakouts. She takes good care of her teeth by brushing daily and other dental practices such as flossing, resulting in clean white teeth.
Her voice is usually soft and quiet in tone but can become sharp and confident when psyched. She carries a slight Brooklyn accent from her mother.
Unlike most high-schoolers her age, she strives for a professional, adultlike look, opting for business casual and formal clothing. Her favorite colors to wear are mainly monochromes, with the occasional blue or brown as an accent color. Due to being nearsighted at birth she wears glasses and has stuck with a pair of square-framed brown glasses. Another accessory she wears prominently are large, gray star-shaped earrings to show her love for astronomy. On Casting Day, Lynne was wearing square-framed brown glasses with her favorite pair of star-shaped earrings. Her makeup consisted of nothing more than moisturizer and blush on her cheeks and nose. She wore a white turtleneck sweater covered by a black blazer jacket adorned with a light grayish-blue scarf. Her lower half consisted of grayish-blue jeans secured with a brown belt, which also included white socks and black loafers.
Biography: Lynne Hisakawa, an only child, was born on a cold winter night on December 18th to Kazuki and Ellen Hisakawa in Brooklyn, New York. Ellen was an office worker in one of New York’s many office buildings, while Kazuki was a Japanese immigrant who had just managed to save enough money to move from his humble living space in Otaru, Japan as a museum worker to the big city in America, the reason being was while his original home was cozy enough, he began to yearn for a bigger, more eventful life overseas. Kazuki became interested in working as an office worker in his new home due to the secure payment, which was where he met Ellen. Ellen helped him adapt to his new lifestyle as their relationship grew, which ultimately became romantic over time. They wed a few months after dating, settling into a not-too-shabby apartment in Brooklyn after a year saving up money; they could easily pay the rent with their admittedly unexciting office jobs’ salary. A year later, Lynne was born.
Lynne was a well-tempered baby; she rarely cried at night and was easily calmed down, to her parents’ delight. She was also quite inquisitive; the more she grew, the more she wondered about the world and all the oddities that came with it. She learned to walk and talk at an impressive rate, which in turn led Ellen and Kazuki to believe they were raising a prodigy in the making. As she started her elementary school years, her passion for reading started to take fruit. Her favorite periods of the day were the times where she could take a book off the bookshelf and analyze every single word, no matter the complexity. Lynne, being still a child, usually turned to the dictionary for words she couldn't understand quite yet, but for most of her childhood she used the dictionary as a crutch until she was smart enough to give out her own definitions based on prior context as she grew older. She was a quiet student and rarely spoke up except when she needed to. Her teachers were a bit concerned with her quietness at school but otherwise were content with her attentiveness and good grades.
Brooklyn, being her first home, was quite an interesting place to be; she could always find some new diversion to hold her attention on a busy street littered with trash and raindrops. This is how she found another interest that stuck with her to this day; photography. She’d fumble around with her father’s camera, struggling to press the buttons, often making blurry results. It didn't help that Lynne was born nearsighted, which was solved by Ellen and Kazuki taking her to the local optometrist where Lynne acquired her glasses she continues to wear to this day. This combined with her persistence made her skill improve with time. Aside from reading literature and photography, her older years were marked by another longterm hobby, which was journalism. She’d take notes on the people she saw walking by on her walks to school, no matter how strange their behavior was. The appeal that came with photography and journalism was a combination of her natural surroundings and that it was something her growing intellect and curiosity could easily take on.
It was a few months before Lynne’s 8th grade would start when Ellen and Kazuki decided to move to Miami. The reasons why were fairly simple; with the newfound responsibility of raising a child, their old life of living in a cozy yet compact apartment with dead-end jobs started to feel less humble and more of a drag, and they felt a new feeling for a sense of adventure they could only accomplish by the move. Not only that, but Kazuki himself began to feel unsatisfied by how his dream for a more eventful life morphed into a boring job instead of something more fulfilling. So they decided by saving as much money as possible so they could afford a simple flat where more interesting ventures could be obtained. Lynne was excited about the move. She loved Brooklyn but found Miami as an opportunity for more intricate journalism and more stunning photography. She got right to work for both of these hobbies; she wrote paragraphs for a group of people at a rock concert and didn’t bother to resist crafting dozens of snapshots of warm beaches and palm trees. Meanwhile, Ellen and Kazuki took turns with odd jobs and working as part-timers in bookstores and office buildings to make ends meet. While hours could be long and there was always a moderate level of risk to them, their resolve to both be working parents allowed them to earn enough income to have a somewhat comfortable living space. Their determination to work hard to live the life they dreamed for also convinced Lynne to do the same, even if it meant less attention from the particular late hour jobs.
Lynne’s grades throughout her middle school years were fairly consistent; she was a hard-working student and even strived for honor roll status. From the move she started to meet more popular and outgoing students in their class and started wondering if she could be the same, which lead to a goal to becoming less introverted. While still a quiet kid in most classes, she started making an effort to more outgoing and talkative in the classes she liked, such as English which still is to this day her favorite subject. She also gained an interest in music class, which led to her asking her parents if she could take guitar classes in her spare time. The only problem was that finances were less steady due to them taking on odd jobs and part-time outings instead of their more secure office jobs back in Brooklyn. This resulted in a slightly diminished outlook, but it didn’t hurt Lynne’s opinion on her parents entirely. Regardless, her parents’ ways of making money drove Lynne to have a more pragmatic outlook on the world. She would start doing odd jobs herself to earn some money, while still planning on a more steady career choice in the long run. All of this eventually led to her spending her odd job money into buying a guitar at the local pawn shop instead. With her knowledge of the lessons in music class she, while not a maestro, became quite proficient in the guitar.
Astronomy also became a favorite hobby of Lynne’s; sometimes when she wanted to forget about the various ways her parents made ends meet, she’d turn to stargaze to let her worries melt away. This grew into a love for the stars, and she would often read multiple books about astronomy to increase her knowledge of the subject. She'd stock books of the history of astronomy in her own personal bookshelf in her room, and used her interest in photography to take photos of the starry sky during stargazing hours. While she doesn’t care for it as much as she does for photography or journalism, she still considers it a favorite hobby of hers to the point of wearing her favorite gray star-shaped earrings as memorabilia.
But while intellectually skilled and becoming more outgoing each day, physical fitness wasn’t something she particularly cared about as much. It's not that she hated it, it's just that she didn't consider herself professional athletic material for most of her life. But at the same time, she felt like she had a figure to maintain; which is why she took up jogging. Lynne considers jogging as both a fun pastime and a good way to maintain her weight and commits partaking in daily jogging outings when she has free time. While not particularly fitness-related, she takes good care of her body and facial hygiene by brushing her teeth when she can and using makeup such as moisturizer to get rid of any unsightly acne. Her parents and gym teacher are aware of her disinterest in fitness, but consider her jogging outings to be a good start to further ventures into taking care of her body. Physical education remains a sore spot for Lynne, aside from the occasional track run or jog.
A few months before her graduation from middle school, Lynne’s parents gained an interest in Mangrove Garden High School, viewing it as an excellent opportunity for a prodigy like Lynne to excel in. They knew with their ways of earning money that the only way she could get in was getting a high enough score on the entrance exam. As a result, most nights were spent sleepless with her nose in the books and taking notes on any subject she could. While she, fortunately, had managed to pass the exam and enter Mangrove, her respect for her parents had started to wane over time. She still considered them role models for her determined instinct later on but thought they misunderstood her natural talent by overworking her for the exam when her grades could already be considered satisfactory. Still, she tried to suppress these uncomfortable thoughts. Instead she focused on her intellect and hobbies, continuing to achieve good grades and working on her photography and journalism. At this moment she is in the top 20% of students in the ranking due to her high grades in English, science, and mathematics while slightly faltering in history as Lynne is less into it compared to her other classes. Despite this, she remains an active participant and is known for her good performance in classroom settings. She joined the photography club and took to working on the school newsletter. She is currently looking forward to the upcoming Little Shop of Horrors musical since she believes her popularity and reputation will boost from writing columns about the musical in particular.
Her opinion on SOTF-TV is lukewarm. She was introduced to it from some of her students talking about it in conversations, and the endless posts relating to the show on social media. Lynne also occasionally stopped by to hear news about a gaming convention where people could stream SOTF: Champions and other SOTF games of the sort. While she understands why people might like it for the drama and characters, she considers the rest of it to be mindless bloodshed and violence and chooses not to associate with it.
Even without an interest in SOTF, she still wanted to make herself known. To expand her image, she created a social media account on Instagram where she could post pictures of her photoshoots and her jogging outings on certain occasions. She makes sure to check her account at least once a day, interacting with her followers often and giving sneak peeks for her upcoming photography projects (where she posted albums of nature and occasionally Miami) when she can, establishing her reputation as an outgoing but professional individual. She remains fairly outgoing in her social life. Alongside social media, she often converses with people that share the same interests she has such as in the photography club. She goes to parties on occasion, but usually keeps her distance and avoids risky encounters when she can. Besides the occasional flirt or compliment, she has no desire for romance and prefers to stay single until she can find someone ideal.
Lynne's stubbornness comes out in her relationship with her parents. While not ungrateful, she is disappointed in how her parents simply couldn't find stable enough jobs in their new home and could only settle on risky odd jobs instead. Despite this, she means no ill will and wants the best for them so they could help her have a good enough life without worrying about payment or the risk. The problem is how she stubbornly tries to convince them to apply for better, more paying jobs instead of settling on the present to the slight chagrin of her parents who don't necessarily focus on the future. While not as present or overt publicly, she has gotten into arguments of varying degrees at school over similar reasons, though her charisma allows these conflicts to be easily forgiven in most situations.
Her goals once she graduates are either to work in a newspaper company as a journalist or as a professional photographer. She is looking forward to a scholarship, which she is confident she will acquire due to her high grades and avid interest in her hobbies. Despite still having avid hobbies in reading literature or studying astronomy, she has no desire to make these lifelong goals in life.
Advantages: Lynne is highly ambitious and won’t give up easily no matter the situation. Her jogging outings allow her to run for long periods for time without breaking a sweat. Her outgoing personality will result in her being largely trusted to most others.
Disadvantages: Despite being ambitious, she is also stubborn and will not be pleased with results if they’re not satisfactory enough, which can lead to disagreements. From this, her way of convincing others to get set on their goals can also be considered unusual at best and callous at worst. Aside from her jogging outings, she has little physical strength in her upper body and will often struggle to use it in certain situations.
Lynne Hisakawa
extra, extra!
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MurderWeasel
- Posts: 3449
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:56 am
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
Hello, twindrill! Sorry this took a bit.
Lynne's a very solid start but she is DENIED pending some edits and elaboration.
The term "Japanese-American" does not necessarily refer to Americans of mixed descent--it's also used for Americans of entirely Japanese descent, which leaves the first sentence a little confusing as phrased. Perhaps it could be rephrased to specifically note that Lynne was born to a Caucasian mother and a Japanese father?
At 5'11" and 115 pounds, Lynne isn't just slim, she's actually extremely underweight. Even were she 15 pounds heavier, she'd still have a BMI lower than 83% of girls her height and age. If she really is incredibly thin, I'd like to hear more about why and how it affects her in her bio; if not, you can just kick her up to the 130-135 range and leave everything else as-is.
Actual black isn't a natural eye color, though very dark brown can be mistaken for it.
You can drop the part about her Brooklyn accent becoming fainter when speaking Japanese--there's no direct analogue to a Brooklyn dialect in that language.
Is Lynne nearsighted or farsighted? Are her glasses just reading glasses? If so, she probably doesn't wear them all the time. If not, why does she change them so often, given the expense (and potentially optometrist appointments) involved?
Why did Kazuki move to the United States to begin with? How long after his move and the marriage was Lynne born? On that note, I think Lynne's an only child, but I'd like to see it made explicit (or hear about any siblings she might have).
Can I hear a bit more about Lynne's analysis of words as a child? Was she just learning what they meant (perhaps with the aid of a dictionary), or was it something somehow more involved?
This bit: "Brooklyn, being her first home, was quite an interesting place to be; who knows what you would encounter on a busy street littered with trash and raindrops?" slips a little outside the formal tone we shoot for in profiles with the rhetorical question; you can rephrase it like so: "Brooklyn, being her first home, was quite an interesting place to be; she could always find some new diversion to hold her attention on a busy street littered with trash and raindrops." to keep the gist without the tricky part (it's a nice sentence overall, though--maybe hold onto the original version for a memories post?
)
We have a similar thing here: "Sometimes too weird, but you couldn’t have too much of a good thing, right?" This sentence is a bit prickly because it says on the one hand that things were sometimes too weird, but on the other that they were not. I'd like the narrative to come down on one side or the other and maybe explain what was too weird and why if that's the route it goes.
I'd also like to hear just a sentence or two about what specifically about photography and journalism appealed to Lynne.
Can I hear a bit more about her parents' dreams and the major choice to leave New York for Miami? Did Lynne's parents perhaps have a sense of adventure that was unfulfilled--maybe even the same sort of thing that brought Kazuki to the US in the first place?
In a lot of parts of the US (including the area established in the setting info), middle school is grades 6-8, meaning there would be no fourth year. Can we maybe get Lynne's timeline in terms of her grade rather than her year?
Why is Lynne so unable to get her hands on a guitar? A nice model is surely expensive, but so-so/learner instruments fairly commonly turn up in thrift stores and pawn shops for $10-25, well within the reach even of a middle school student. Alternately, maybe she has a guitar but can't afford lessons and has to try to learn from Youtube and old books?
Can I hear a bit more about Lynne becoming more outgoing after her move?
"But she couldn’t let those thoughts get to her head, right?" is a bit informal--maybe try "Still, she tried to suppress these uncomfortable thoughts."
What sorts of projects was Lynne giving teasers for on Instagram?
I'd like to hear a few more things about Lynne and her parents. What sorts of odd jobs are they working, precisely? Why haven't they found something more stable in the (at least) four years since their move? What are they doing with their time if they're only sporadically in work?
What classes does Lynne have more trouble with at school, if any? Where does she land in the class rankings? Is she an active participant in class nowadays, or does she still prefer to participate only periodically?
I'd like to hear more about Lynne's stubbornness and any trouble it's caused her in her bio--how does it manifest in her daily life? What happens if somebody sets her off? I'd also like to hear a bit more about her physical fitness situation--what sorts of problems does it cause her in normal life? What do her parents and the gym teachers think about it? Finally, since it's mostly a mitigating factor for one of her advantages (good stamina, leg strength, and speed from jogging), I'd like to see her maybe get one more disadvantage to help round her out.
Post when you've got that taken care of, and we'll give Lynne another look. Thanks!
Lynne's a very solid start but she is DENIED pending some edits and elaboration.
The term "Japanese-American" does not necessarily refer to Americans of mixed descent--it's also used for Americans of entirely Japanese descent, which leaves the first sentence a little confusing as phrased. Perhaps it could be rephrased to specifically note that Lynne was born to a Caucasian mother and a Japanese father?
At 5'11" and 115 pounds, Lynne isn't just slim, she's actually extremely underweight. Even were she 15 pounds heavier, she'd still have a BMI lower than 83% of girls her height and age. If she really is incredibly thin, I'd like to hear more about why and how it affects her in her bio; if not, you can just kick her up to the 130-135 range and leave everything else as-is.
Actual black isn't a natural eye color, though very dark brown can be mistaken for it.
You can drop the part about her Brooklyn accent becoming fainter when speaking Japanese--there's no direct analogue to a Brooklyn dialect in that language.
Is Lynne nearsighted or farsighted? Are her glasses just reading glasses? If so, she probably doesn't wear them all the time. If not, why does she change them so often, given the expense (and potentially optometrist appointments) involved?
Why did Kazuki move to the United States to begin with? How long after his move and the marriage was Lynne born? On that note, I think Lynne's an only child, but I'd like to see it made explicit (or hear about any siblings she might have).
Can I hear a bit more about Lynne's analysis of words as a child? Was she just learning what they meant (perhaps with the aid of a dictionary), or was it something somehow more involved?
This bit: "Brooklyn, being her first home, was quite an interesting place to be; who knows what you would encounter on a busy street littered with trash and raindrops?" slips a little outside the formal tone we shoot for in profiles with the rhetorical question; you can rephrase it like so: "Brooklyn, being her first home, was quite an interesting place to be; she could always find some new diversion to hold her attention on a busy street littered with trash and raindrops." to keep the gist without the tricky part (it's a nice sentence overall, though--maybe hold onto the original version for a memories post?
)We have a similar thing here: "Sometimes too weird, but you couldn’t have too much of a good thing, right?" This sentence is a bit prickly because it says on the one hand that things were sometimes too weird, but on the other that they were not. I'd like the narrative to come down on one side or the other and maybe explain what was too weird and why if that's the route it goes.
I'd also like to hear just a sentence or two about what specifically about photography and journalism appealed to Lynne.
Can I hear a bit more about her parents' dreams and the major choice to leave New York for Miami? Did Lynne's parents perhaps have a sense of adventure that was unfulfilled--maybe even the same sort of thing that brought Kazuki to the US in the first place?
In a lot of parts of the US (including the area established in the setting info), middle school is grades 6-8, meaning there would be no fourth year. Can we maybe get Lynne's timeline in terms of her grade rather than her year?
Why is Lynne so unable to get her hands on a guitar? A nice model is surely expensive, but so-so/learner instruments fairly commonly turn up in thrift stores and pawn shops for $10-25, well within the reach even of a middle school student. Alternately, maybe she has a guitar but can't afford lessons and has to try to learn from Youtube and old books?
Can I hear a bit more about Lynne becoming more outgoing after her move?
"But she couldn’t let those thoughts get to her head, right?" is a bit informal--maybe try "Still, she tried to suppress these uncomfortable thoughts."
What sorts of projects was Lynne giving teasers for on Instagram?
I'd like to hear a few more things about Lynne and her parents. What sorts of odd jobs are they working, precisely? Why haven't they found something more stable in the (at least) four years since their move? What are they doing with their time if they're only sporadically in work?
What classes does Lynne have more trouble with at school, if any? Where does she land in the class rankings? Is she an active participant in class nowadays, or does she still prefer to participate only periodically?
I'd like to hear more about Lynne's stubbornness and any trouble it's caused her in her bio--how does it manifest in her daily life? What happens if somebody sets her off? I'd also like to hear a bit more about her physical fitness situation--what sorts of problems does it cause her in normal life? What do her parents and the gym teachers think about it? Finally, since it's mostly a mitigating factor for one of her advantages (good stamina, leg strength, and speed from jogging), I'd like to see her maybe get one more disadvantage to help round her out.
Post when you've got that taken care of, and we'll give Lynne another look. Thanks!
Edits! ^_^
Aside from the usual edits requested I also removed a couple of sentences I wasn't happy with and replaced them with others instead, and added unrelated ones to give more depth. Just so you know!
Aside from the usual edits requested I also removed a couple of sentences I wasn't happy with and replaced them with others instead, and added unrelated ones to give more depth. Just so you know!
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MurderWeasel
- Posts: 3449
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:56 am
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
Hey again! Lynne's looking a lot better, but there are a few more tweaks and changes I'd like to see.
"They wed a few months after dating, followed by settling into a not-too-shabby apartment in Brooklyn after a year saving up money where they could easily pay the rent with their office jobs’ admittedly unexciting salary and after yet another year when Lynne was born." is a bit unwieldy and difficult to follow—maybe split it up more like so: "They wed a few months after dating, settling into a not-too-shabby apartment in Brooklyn after a year saving up money; they could easily pay the rent with their admittedly unexciting office jobs’ salary. A year later, Lynne was born."
The word analysis bit is looking better, but I still don't quite follow the intent—what does learning to figure things out on her own entail? Guessing based on context?
The motivational disadvantage is good, but I'd like to maybe see it expanded just a bit. Is Lynne the same way in group projects as with her parents (that is, a terror when others just want to coast)? Has she gotten into any arguments with peers because of it?
Finally, I just want to hear a tiny bit more about the sorts of odd jobs Lynne's parents are working. What sort are they exactly? What is the family's financial situation (comfortable but barely is a big difference from always stressed about whether they'll make rent)? Why haven't they been able to pick up anything better?
Give a shout when that's taken care of, and we'll give Lynne another look. Thanks!
"They wed a few months after dating, followed by settling into a not-too-shabby apartment in Brooklyn after a year saving up money where they could easily pay the rent with their office jobs’ admittedly unexciting salary and after yet another year when Lynne was born." is a bit unwieldy and difficult to follow—maybe split it up more like so: "They wed a few months after dating, settling into a not-too-shabby apartment in Brooklyn after a year saving up money; they could easily pay the rent with their admittedly unexciting office jobs’ salary. A year later, Lynne was born."
The word analysis bit is looking better, but I still don't quite follow the intent—what does learning to figure things out on her own entail? Guessing based on context?
The motivational disadvantage is good, but I'd like to maybe see it expanded just a bit. Is Lynne the same way in group projects as with her parents (that is, a terror when others just want to coast)? Has she gotten into any arguments with peers because of it?
Finally, I just want to hear a tiny bit more about the sorts of odd jobs Lynne's parents are working. What sort are they exactly? What is the family's financial situation (comfortable but barely is a big difference from always stressed about whether they'll make rent)? Why haven't they been able to pick up anything better?
Give a shout when that's taken care of, and we'll give Lynne another look. Thanks!
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MurderWeasel
- Posts: 3449
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:56 am
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
Due to extenuating circumstances, this character has been removed from play and may not be resubmitted.