The

[MurderWeasel]

((Mina Mashall continued))

"Hey, Mina again. Hey. I'm still alive—I mean, well, probably not, I mean, I was when I recorded this, you know. But now, now when you're listening to this, I'm probably dead. I mean, I guess I could be alive if I lost this? But I... I don't think that's going to happen. I mean...

"I'm okay now. I'm sorry if I was weird earlier, I was just... upset.

"I'm okay now. Getting back on track. I mean, sort of. It's... I keep hearing people, you know, or seeing them, but that's it. From far away, mostly. I haven't really, you know, I don't want to get close to anyone right now. I just don't think it's a good idea.

"I don't know. I fucked up really bad. I had—I met people who were okay, people I liked, and I just left them and, and you know, I thought I had a good reason and...

"I mean, I think I'd do it again maybe. I mean, if I had to do it all over—it's a little early to be thinking like that, huh?—but I mean, also, if I met people, I think I'd just leave them again, you know? So why even try, right?

"Are you alone too? I just realized, I've been talking to you like it's just, you know, you all this time. Maybe there's a few of you. Maybe it's some whole group, laughing at the shit I said before I died. I don't know. I don't care. But if, you know, if you're lonely, then that's okay. I'm here. You have me, okay? I'll keep you company.

"And if... if you get to the, to the part where I, you know, where there isn't anything left because I, well, because I died, then you can always just go back and start again. That's the great part about this recording thing. You can play it again and again if you want to. It's just some stupid, you know, some stupid way, but it lets you have a sort of afterlife. A real one.

"...I don't really believe in an afterlife. I think when you die you die and then you just rot. Worms eat you and then shit you out. That's it. That's all you are. I wish... I wish I didn't think that. It's so, so horrible to think about. And it's, you know, it was okay when it was a ways away. I was going to be in the army, for a long, long time. I was...

"Hey, you must be pretty bored to have listened all this way, right? I bet there isn't anything to keep you entertained except listening to me. And I bet... I bet you haven't heard any music in a long time, right? If you want, I can... I can sing you something. I'm in this house now, sort of near where I met Kassandra and Marion, and I'm going to move soon anyways, so who gives a fuck if I make a bunch of noise, right? I'm not very good at singing and, and this is a song I heard a bunch when I was a kid and I think I remember the words but I'm going to... I'm going to make a new track for it, okay? So you can skip it if you think this is stupid.

"Or, you know, so if you get bored again...

"Fuck. Okay, okay, here we go. Before I change my mind.

---

"Okay, so it's this old song from, I don't know, from the Fifties or Sixties or something. It goes like:

"Do do do-do-do

"Do do do-do-do

"Up every morning just to keep a job, I've got to find my way through the hustle and bob, sounds of the city pounding in my brain, while another day goes down the drain.

"But it's a five o'clock world when the whistle blows, no one owns a piece of my time. And there's a five o'clock me inside my clothes, thinking that the world looks fine, yeah.

"Then he does this yodel thing, I don't think I can do it, sort of like yodelay-hee-hee, hee-oh-oh-yeah. He does that a couple—fuck, I should just keep singing it.

"Trading my time for the pay I get, living on money that I ain't made yet, gotta—gotta go? Gotta make my pay, while I live for the end of the day?

"But it's a five o'clock world when the whistle blows, no one owns a piece of my time. And there's a long-haired girl who waits I know, to ease my troubled mind.

"Yodelay-hee-hee, yeah.

"In the shelter of her arms everything's okay, she talks and the world goes slipping away, and she's the only reason I can still go on, when every other reason is gone.

"In my five o'clock world she waits for me, nothing else matters at all. 'cause every time my baby smiles at me, I know that it's all worthwhile.

"And then there's, you know, there's more of the yodelling. Fuck. Fuck I don't know what—I'm stupid. I don't know...

"Never mind, okay? Never mind. How do you delete things? I just... I don't...

"Fuck."

((Mina Mashall continued))