((Daniel was sad and tired. What else was new?))
More of his friends were dead. What else was new? He wasn’t even sure how he felt about it, ‘cause Brandon and Keiji, both of them had hurt him, one way or another, whether it was by absence or inaction, but also like, he just didn’t have the energy to be mad about it anymore? Also he’d literally just (for a given definition of literally, and also just) walked away from the girl who literally killed his girlfriend, so it’d be kinda weird to be hung up on getting ditched.
Two more people that Daniel legitimately liked, most of the time at least, stolen from the face of the earth. What else was new?
The dirt wasn’t. He was lying in the dirt by the flowers, by the way, both because it was fitting for his current mental state and self-image and because that’s where he’d slept last night, because after storming away from Kris he’d realized he had no idea where to even go, because what even was left for him, anymore? Who was left?
Maxwell was, thankfully, because boy he’d feel like even more of a garbage person if the dude had gotten killed after he’d failed to be there for him. Not that he needed help feeling like a garbage person, but. Y’know.
Johnny was still around, too, and that thought should’ve made Daniel happier than it did. One of his best friends. Once-wingman. If you asked, one of the people he’d want by his side in a fun, thought-experiment apocalypse, as opposed to the very grim localized apocalypse they were currently experiencing. Him and Michael. Man, if the three of them had been together at the start… everything would’ve probably gone down the same, but maybe they’d be feeling better about it?
This was dumb. Thinking about some stupid parallel universe where he could’ve been a bit happier before all his friends died was dumb. Like, if he was going to go that far, why not go for the very mundane fantasy of ‘neither I nor my friends die brutally and tragically at a young age, and we all go on to live mostly uneventful lives’. That wasn’t a stretch. That wasn’t a high mental bar to clear.
But Michael wasn’t there, which was good, and Johnny wasn’t there, which was… he was thinking in circles again, but he couldn’t even bring himself to stop himself from thinking in circles, again. Everything just felt dull. His ever-present but unobtrusive sorrow, any relief that maybe he had someone left in the world, even the scent of the flowers around him. None of it registered.
He was just there. Lying in the dirt for the foreseeable future.
some day we may come to peace with the world within ourselves
i will await you until i close my eyes | morning, day 7
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delicateMachine
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:26 pm
- Location: void
((Johnny Lancer continues from Your Bones))
The brightness of the area, the pleasantness of the weather felt somewhat artificial. Faded. The sun shined unobstructed, yet the air still felt cool against his skin.
The smell of smoke still lingered, and Johnny wasn't sure whether it had stuck to him, or if it had stuck everywhere.
He kinda wished the fire had come here too. Would've been fitting, he guessed.
He didn't really know why he came here, didn't have a reason, really. Then again, there was just as much reason to go here than anywhere else. He could've found some shelter at the mess hall, but he'd seen enough of it. Had been through enough of it.
As he passed through, he looked down and saw Dan's body. Blood leaked out from his head. It was still wet.
So, he was the last of the three standing.
Huh.
Johnny's face twitched a little. Then, he walked past the body, and it stopped twitching.
Half a minute later, and he happened upon Daniel's prone form lying in the dirt. He paused. Blinked twice. He took a step, and then took it back. He deserved more than a pass-by. And then, he looked more and noticed his eyes were open. Chest rising.
Johnny didn't want this. But he'd stood there too long to do anything else.
"You there?"
The brightness of the area, the pleasantness of the weather felt somewhat artificial. Faded. The sun shined unobstructed, yet the air still felt cool against his skin.
The smell of smoke still lingered, and Johnny wasn't sure whether it had stuck to him, or if it had stuck everywhere.
He kinda wished the fire had come here too. Would've been fitting, he guessed.
He didn't really know why he came here, didn't have a reason, really. Then again, there was just as much reason to go here than anywhere else. He could've found some shelter at the mess hall, but he'd seen enough of it. Had been through enough of it.
As he passed through, he looked down and saw Dan's body. Blood leaked out from his head. It was still wet.
So, he was the last of the three standing.
Huh.
Johnny's face twitched a little. Then, he walked past the body, and it stopped twitching.
Half a minute later, and he happened upon Daniel's prone form lying in the dirt. He paused. Blinked twice. He took a step, and then took it back. He deserved more than a pass-by. And then, he looked more and noticed his eyes were open. Chest rising.
Johnny didn't want this. But he'd stood there too long to do anything else.
"You there?"
SC3:
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
-
delicateMachine
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:26 pm
- Location: void
Huh.
In all honesty that should've merited at least an exclamation mark in Daniel's mind, but his dullness and his daydreams had left his eyes glazed, staring at the smoky skies. It took him the better part of a minute to focus his mind enough to register that Johnny was actually, physically, there. Like, in the same location with Daniel. And also alive. Exceptionally banged up, but alive.
He halfheartedly sat up with a fullhearted groan. Now that he wasn't one with the dirt, he was one with his own body, and his own body was very sore. Like the good old days where he passed out on Michael's couch at a weird angle and broke his neck in like twenty discrete places while he was sleeping. It sucked, but it also kind of grounded him, because if he was feeling physical discomfort he didn't have to go through the extra effort of feeling mental discomfort as well, because he'd gotten enough of that two for one combo the day the world had ended.
"What's it look like?" he said, and while that was the sort of stupid question that was supposed to be delivered with a wry smile or at least some sort of indicator that you're like, doing a goof, it just came out flat. Probably because Daniel didn't know what he looked like. Probably sad and tired.
In all honesty that should've merited at least an exclamation mark in Daniel's mind, but his dullness and his daydreams had left his eyes glazed, staring at the smoky skies. It took him the better part of a minute to focus his mind enough to register that Johnny was actually, physically, there. Like, in the same location with Daniel. And also alive. Exceptionally banged up, but alive.
He halfheartedly sat up with a fullhearted groan. Now that he wasn't one with the dirt, he was one with his own body, and his own body was very sore. Like the good old days where he passed out on Michael's couch at a weird angle and broke his neck in like twenty discrete places while he was sleeping. It sucked, but it also kind of grounded him, because if he was feeling physical discomfort he didn't have to go through the extra effort of feeling mental discomfort as well, because he'd gotten enough of that two for one combo the day the world had ended.
"What's it look like?" he said, and while that was the sort of stupid question that was supposed to be delivered with a wry smile or at least some sort of indicator that you're like, doing a goof, it just came out flat. Probably because Daniel didn't know what he looked like. Probably sad and tired.
"You don't really look like much."
Johnny attempted to smile for a few seconds. And then he stopped.
All he needed to do, all he was supposed to do was walk away.
He sat down next to him. His eyes flicked to Daniel's neck. Or rather, the collar surrounding his neck. Those collars were paradoxes in and of themselves, always present and always absent. Invisible until they weren't.
He opened his mouth, and nothing came out. His own body was telling him to stop talking, to just walk away. And yet, he stayed. Eventually, his mouth complied. Said something.
"How's it going."
Something useless, really. Tone falling flat, no high pitch at the end, no question mark. Probably no satisfactory answer. But, he said it. He needed something to start this conversation neither of them deserved.
Johnny attempted to smile for a few seconds. And then he stopped.
All he needed to do, all he was supposed to do was walk away.
He sat down next to him. His eyes flicked to Daniel's neck. Or rather, the collar surrounding his neck. Those collars were paradoxes in and of themselves, always present and always absent. Invisible until they weren't.
He opened his mouth, and nothing came out. His own body was telling him to stop talking, to just walk away. And yet, he stayed. Eventually, his mouth complied. Said something.
"How's it going."
Something useless, really. Tone falling flat, no high pitch at the end, no question mark. Probably no satisfactory answer. But, he said it. He needed something to start this conversation neither of them deserved.
SC3:
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
-
delicateMachine
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:26 pm
- Location: void
Looks like they were committing to doing... whatever this was. It didn't feel like a reunion and it was barely a conversation. There was a weird tension, or a distance between them or something, like Daniel and Johnny were just meeting for the first time, and it was worse than having a weird moment with a stranger would be. Was this what it came down to? Years of friendship broken down after barely a week without having seen each other? Like, sure, it'd been a pretty terrible week, but you'd think the sheer weight of their shared history would have the advantage over a little - a lot - a hilariously crushing amount of trauma.
Daniel'd just have to do his best, and it had been already well-established that his best wasn't very great. "There's no real good way to answer that, y'know? Like, everyone's dead. The end."
Daniel'd just have to do his best, and it had been already well-established that his best wasn't very great. "There's no real good way to answer that, y'know? Like, everyone's dead. The end."
Who knew it'd be hard to start conversations on this island?
Well, everyone really, but. Johnny had been lying to himself earlier. He didn't know what he wanted to talk about, but he knew he wanted to talk about something. He wanted this. His ears longed for words, longed to hear Daniel's voice one last time. He didn't deserve it, this wasn't what was supposed to happen, but here he was anyways.
And what was happening right now wouldn't do. It was less a conversation and more terse sentences being exchanged. He needed more. He wanted so much more than this.
A few days ago, he'd been able to shoot the shit with Roy and Dan, with little more than a can of frozen smoke and a can of Moxie. This was his best friend here. Why couldn't he speak?
So many routes of conversation had been extinguished by this island. You couldn't talk about the future because it didn't exist anymore. Daniel and Johnny had talked so much before that it felt like they'd covered all the past already. That left, well, here, now, but who wanted to talk about that?
He'd been sitting silent for a minute now, after Daniel had replied. Staring at the sky behind Daniel rather than him himself. The urge to stand up was getting stronger now. But he stayed. He had to, at this point.
He cleared his throat. Winced as his ribs protested.
"I mean, yeah. It's the end. But, like. What happened before?"
Not like he wanted to talk about it. But it was all that was left.
Well, everyone really, but. Johnny had been lying to himself earlier. He didn't know what he wanted to talk about, but he knew he wanted to talk about something. He wanted this. His ears longed for words, longed to hear Daniel's voice one last time. He didn't deserve it, this wasn't what was supposed to happen, but here he was anyways.
And what was happening right now wouldn't do. It was less a conversation and more terse sentences being exchanged. He needed more. He wanted so much more than this.
A few days ago, he'd been able to shoot the shit with Roy and Dan, with little more than a can of frozen smoke and a can of Moxie. This was his best friend here. Why couldn't he speak?
So many routes of conversation had been extinguished by this island. You couldn't talk about the future because it didn't exist anymore. Daniel and Johnny had talked so much before that it felt like they'd covered all the past already. That left, well, here, now, but who wanted to talk about that?
He'd been sitting silent for a minute now, after Daniel had replied. Staring at the sky behind Daniel rather than him himself. The urge to stand up was getting stronger now. But he stayed. He had to, at this point.
He cleared his throat. Winced as his ribs protested.
"I mean, yeah. It's the end. But, like. What happened before?"
Not like he wanted to talk about it. But it was all that was left.
SC3:
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
-
delicateMachine
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:26 pm
- Location: void
Daniel didn't, like, want to talk about all the horrible crap that had happened, because living through it was bad enough that he didn't want to relive it through a conversation, however vague, and it's not like hearing it would make Johnny feel any better, but he guessed he needed to talk about it because all it took was that invitation for him to spill his entire guts out.
"Well, like, first I woke up in a cabin with Brandon, Maxwell, and Yaz, but I had a really bad headache so I was pretty useless, and then Brandon and Maxwell left, and then some crazy jerk shot the cabin a bunch, so Yaz left to try and get help, but then she died out there, so I like, stayed in the cabin, and then I left and found Brandon again, and things were alright for a while, but then Brandon ditched me and died eventually, and, like, then I found Maxwell again, but, like, he started breaking down because his girlfriend died, and instead of being a good friend and helping him I got distracted by screaming at the girl who murdered Rachael, because she showed up right then, so then Maxwell left, but at least he hasn't died yet?"
He took a moment to breathe, because that was like, the whole thing right there. Except for the worst part. Time to spread the suffering around even more, he guessed.
"Kris said Rachael asked her to kill her, man. How messed up is that?"
"Well, like, first I woke up in a cabin with Brandon, Maxwell, and Yaz, but I had a really bad headache so I was pretty useless, and then Brandon and Maxwell left, and then some crazy jerk shot the cabin a bunch, so Yaz left to try and get help, but then she died out there, so I like, stayed in the cabin, and then I left and found Brandon again, and things were alright for a while, but then Brandon ditched me and died eventually, and, like, then I found Maxwell again, but, like, he started breaking down because his girlfriend died, and instead of being a good friend and helping him I got distracted by screaming at the girl who murdered Rachael, because she showed up right then, so then Maxwell left, but at least he hasn't died yet?"
He took a moment to breathe, because that was like, the whole thing right there. Except for the worst part. Time to spread the suffering around even more, he guessed.
"Kris said Rachael asked her to kill her, man. How messed up is that?"
As sentences finally spilled out Daniel's mouth, Johnny let out a long, slow exhale. They were finally having a conversation. Johnny had fully realized his mistake. He would pay for it soon, but here he was, reaping the temporary benefits. Hearing his voice. He stopped himself once he took note of exactly what the voice was saying. Nothing to be relieved about, or anything close to that. But his friend was finally speaking.
Part of him envied Daniel for getting to meet Yaz. Brandon. Maxwell. It would've been nice to see them, also. But then again, Daniel probably would've liked to see Roy and Dan also, right? So, what's fair's fair, in a fucked up kind of way.
He continued nodding as Daniel spoke, an indication that he was listening, taking in his voice. And then, he stopped once he started talking about Kris. Rachael's killer. He froze.
And then Daniel got to the last sentence. His breath stopped. His eyes widened.
Time stopped.
Rachael wanted to die.
Had it always been that way? Or, had something happened to her after she left? Something Johnny didn't keep her from.
Here it was. The consequences.
"It, uh."
God.
This was what he came here for, right?
Partly, yeah.
This was what they both deserved. What Daniel deserved to know. What Johnny deserved to go through.
As soon as he came here and asked that question, 'how are you doing', he knew it would turn back to him. To this. And yet he pressed on. He did this to himself.
He could leave right now. All he needed to do was get up and walk away.
But, he couldn't. Daniel deserved this. And Johnny deserved this.
He couldn't look him in the eye.
"It makes sense. From what I know."
Part of him envied Daniel for getting to meet Yaz. Brandon. Maxwell. It would've been nice to see them, also. But then again, Daniel probably would've liked to see Roy and Dan also, right? So, what's fair's fair, in a fucked up kind of way.
He continued nodding as Daniel spoke, an indication that he was listening, taking in his voice. And then, he stopped once he started talking about Kris. Rachael's killer. He froze.
And then Daniel got to the last sentence. His breath stopped. His eyes widened.
Time stopped.
Rachael wanted to die.
Had it always been that way? Or, had something happened to her after she left? Something Johnny didn't keep her from.
Here it was. The consequences.
"It, uh."
God.
This was what he came here for, right?
Partly, yeah.
This was what they both deserved. What Daniel deserved to know. What Johnny deserved to go through.
As soon as he came here and asked that question, 'how are you doing', he knew it would turn back to him. To this. And yet he pressed on. He did this to himself.
He could leave right now. All he needed to do was get up and walk away.
But, he couldn't. Daniel deserved this. And Johnny deserved this.
He couldn't look him in the eye.
"It makes sense. From what I know."
SC3:
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
-
delicateMachine
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:26 pm
- Location: void
Daniel tensed. So, Johnny had been blessed where he hadn't, in being able to meet Rachael. Cursed where he wasn't, in knowing what the island had done to her. Up until now he'd been tormenting himself with image after image of her suffering, but while he knew they were all right in a way because like, obviously nothing good had happened to her, he'd still been able to dismiss the absolute worst possibilities, just because he knew there was a chance they didn't happen, right? Like, there's a lot of bad things that could've happened, and some bad things did happen, but more bad things didn't happen then did... happen. It didn't exactly flow clearly but it was comforting in a dumb way.
He knew that stripping away all the ambiguity would hurt, because even the gentlest truth still ended with Rachael dead. But Daniel had already messed up enough by failing to be there for her during any of it. He didn't deserve the meager comfort of living in ignorance.
He couldn't look at Johnny either avoiding his avoidant gaze. "...Did you see her?" His words were slow, measured, for once.
He knew that stripping away all the ambiguity would hurt, because even the gentlest truth still ended with Rachael dead. But Daniel had already messed up enough by failing to be there for her during any of it. He didn't deserve the meager comfort of living in ignorance.
He couldn't look at Johnny either avoiding his avoidant gaze. "...Did you see her?" His words were slow, measured, for once.
His eyes flicked towards Daniel for a moment. He had to look at him. He deserved to look at him.
He couldn't. It hurt too much.
He looked back towards the distance.
"Yeah. I'd been with her."
He couldn't. It hurt too much.
He looked back towards the distance.
"Yeah. I'd been with her."
SC3:
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
-
delicateMachine
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:26 pm
- Location: void
Cool, cool, they'd confirmed what Johnny had basically already said. Time for the hard part. Daniel was trembling, slightly, staring off into the horizon alongside his friend. "What was she like?"
Daniel's voice said enough. He didn't need to look at him, to know what he was feeling. He didn't want to.
What had Rachael been like?
"I. I don't know what... what happened to her. Before she came to us. Me, Roy, and Dan. I just know that..."
There was a lump in his throat. A weight on his chest. He gulped. Inhaled sharply, despite his ribs.
"She wasn't- god."
His voice was cracking.
"She was barely speaking, man. She- she was so fucking scared. I don't know why, Daniel, I really, really don't know why."
What had Rachael been like?
"I. I don't know what... what happened to her. Before she came to us. Me, Roy, and Dan. I just know that..."
There was a lump in his throat. A weight on his chest. He gulped. Inhaled sharply, despite his ribs.
"She wasn't- god."
His voice was cracking.
"She was barely speaking, man. She- she was so fucking scared. I don't know why, Daniel, I really, really don't know why."
SC3:
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
-
delicateMachine
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:26 pm
- Location: void
Daniel was silent for a long while. This was worse than knowing nothing, worse than knowing everything. He got a confirmation of her pain - from a reliable source this time - but still no answers. Just the knowledge that she had been terrified. She had suffered. And he still hadn't been there.
Eventually he said, "I guess it doesn't really matter why, does it? Not like anything good can happen here." Wasn't Johnny's fault he didn't have any of the answers. Dwelling on this was hurting him, too. No reason for both of them to dwell on this, right?
He paused. Still one more thing he needed to ask. "Did she run away from you guys, then?"
Eventually he said, "I guess it doesn't really matter why, does it? Not like anything good can happen here." Wasn't Johnny's fault he didn't have any of the answers. Dwelling on this was hurting him, too. No reason for both of them to dwell on this, right?
He paused. Still one more thing he needed to ask. "Did she run away from you guys, then?"
He spat out the next few words.
"Yeah. She did."
Johnny took in a shaky breath. He then let out another long exhale. He wiped his eyes. Seethed as his hand brushed his bandaged cheek.
"I didn't- I didn't even see it happen. We'd been fighting with fucking Irene, she'd been pointing a harpoon at us. And I'd been so busy with her, with them."
He paused for a few moments.
"She was gone, when I looked. She was there, and then she wasn't."
He looked Daniel in the eyes, despite every fiber of his being protesting. He had to.
They deserved this.
"I'm so fucking sorry."
He turned over to Daniel, and wrapped his hands around his throat.
"Yeah. She did."
Johnny took in a shaky breath. He then let out another long exhale. He wiped his eyes. Seethed as his hand brushed his bandaged cheek.
"I didn't- I didn't even see it happen. We'd been fighting with fucking Irene, she'd been pointing a harpoon at us. And I'd been so busy with her, with them."
He paused for a few moments.
"She was gone, when I looked. She was there, and then she wasn't."
He looked Daniel in the eyes, despite every fiber of his being protesting. He had to.
They deserved this.
"I'm so fucking sorry."
He turned over to Daniel, and wrapped his hands around his throat.
SC3:
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
Matias Juarez is fed up. He is currently walking home.
Pregame: now that you are broken by the seas, in the depths of the waters,
Memories: Vamô Detonar essa Porra!
Diego Larrosa is lost. pls give my kids friends tv3 version
Stephanie's Cuckaneers Today at 12:29 AM
maraoone was a mistake - cicada 2021
-
delicateMachine
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:26 pm
- Location: void
Daniel started to say "It's not your fault, man", but his words and also his throat were choked by Johnny's sudden strangling hands, so it kind of just came out as a "It's not your- ghhhhk."