((Aria Samuels continued from Perilous Prelude))
How long had they been moving? At this point, Aria had no idea. His vision wasn't getting better as all he saw were patches of blurred colours. He noticed the blue of the sky slowly transform to an orange and eventual black to indicate the passage of time. He had always assumed that being blind had just meant seeing nothing as if the blind person was just wearing some sort of permanent blindfold. The time he had wandering with Natali had allowed him some time to adjust, get comfortable with his new life. However short that would be.
His time walking gave him time to think about a lot of things. Without having to think about which way to go himself, since Natali was taking the lead and guiding him, he let his mind wander and drift between different topics. Most of the time, he got stuck imagining what his life would be like back at home now, interspersed with worries about where they were going and what meal he desperately craved right now. He was effectively blind. No more cooking meals for himself when his parents were late home from work. His life effectively was going to get turned upside down and all of it through no fault of his own. His heart sank thinking about how his parents were going to feel now that their kid was blind. He was already enough of a burden as it was. This stupid game only made things worse.
They had been walking for what seemed like forever and by this point, Aria's feet were hurting and his patience, already thin as it was, was reaching its breaking point.
"Natali, where the hell are we going?"
He'd been more patient about asking it before. After all, it wasn't like he could do anything about it. Now, however, Aria was starting to lose it. He was tired and they hadn't seen anyone. Or at least, Natali hadn't said hello to anybody. Was she intentionally avoiding people? Walking him around in circles? Wasn't there someone else he could've been stuck with? All pertinent questions that were starting to bubble at the top of his head.
If possibly an attempt to make his frustration clear, Aria let out a tired groan as he continued to be guided by Natali. Just what was going on in the outside world? Just what was Natali doing?
Final Requiem
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jimmydalad
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Somersault
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((Natali Greer continued from Perilous Prelude))
Circles. That's what it was. Walking in fucking circles. They had been going around for what, the entire day now, and it still hadn't felt as if they had made noticeable progress towards, well, anything. That wasn't good. It was pretty much to the opposite of good, and while it could be sometimes fun to just lay in the grass and watch life pass you by, on Death Island, more needed to happen. Something, anything, to make her feel as if she was doing something to stay alive, something instead of managing to stay at the same place for like 12 hours straight.
She blinked, as she felt her eyelids begin to droop a little, felt the weight of her body a bit more. The sky was full of stars, which did seem kind of ironic as they were killing each other here, but it was pretty. Astronomy always seemed interesting, but she never actually had the time to do any of it, and besides, it was hard to take evidence of that with her, unlike with photos or something. Like, you could, but it was hella difficult, and Natali tended to have better things to do with her time.
Now though, it seemed as if they managed to accomplish shit this past day, so she supposed she could just take it easy, and stare up at the stars for a bit, then sleep, when she was rudely interrupted by yelling, from the guy she had been sort-of trying to ignpre for the past couple of hours or so. To be honest, she was kind of hoping they had already reached some sort of companionable silence, because if they were back in Denton she would have loved to talk, but here? Not so much.
"Soooo, to be super honest, I don't really know too."
Aimless. Again, probably the whole point of what they were doing here, but now they were sort of doing something. Arguing. She glanced over at Aria. Still blind, still only a bit taller than her. Could she? Would she? Perhaps it was best to just think on it for a moment, wait it out.
"But, I mean...we could go sleep here for the night, take watches in shifts or something?" She said, trying to weigh the decisions in her head. Rest was important, yeah, but so was talking or something, she guessed. If she wanted to live, she had to have plans, but those plans were kind of crappy at the moment.
Circles. That's what it was. Walking in fucking circles. They had been going around for what, the entire day now, and it still hadn't felt as if they had made noticeable progress towards, well, anything. That wasn't good. It was pretty much to the opposite of good, and while it could be sometimes fun to just lay in the grass and watch life pass you by, on Death Island, more needed to happen. Something, anything, to make her feel as if she was doing something to stay alive, something instead of managing to stay at the same place for like 12 hours straight.
She blinked, as she felt her eyelids begin to droop a little, felt the weight of her body a bit more. The sky was full of stars, which did seem kind of ironic as they were killing each other here, but it was pretty. Astronomy always seemed interesting, but she never actually had the time to do any of it, and besides, it was hard to take evidence of that with her, unlike with photos or something. Like, you could, but it was hella difficult, and Natali tended to have better things to do with her time.
Now though, it seemed as if they managed to accomplish shit this past day, so she supposed she could just take it easy, and stare up at the stars for a bit, then sleep, when she was rudely interrupted by yelling, from the guy she had been sort-of trying to ignpre for the past couple of hours or so. To be honest, she was kind of hoping they had already reached some sort of companionable silence, because if they were back in Denton she would have loved to talk, but here? Not so much.
"Soooo, to be super honest, I don't really know too."
Aimless. Again, probably the whole point of what they were doing here, but now they were sort of doing something. Arguing. She glanced over at Aria. Still blind, still only a bit taller than her. Could she? Would she? Perhaps it was best to just think on it for a moment, wait it out.
"But, I mean...we could go sleep here for the night, take watches in shifts or something?" She said, trying to weigh the decisions in her head. Rest was important, yeah, but so was talking or something, she guessed. If she wanted to live, she had to have plans, but those plans were kind of crappy at the moment.
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jimmydalad
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Oh great, she didn't know where they were going. That was just what Aria had wanted to fucking hear. His eyes rolled, or at least he could feel them roll inside his head. He wasn't sure what it must've looked like to anybody watching him. His eyes were still probably rolling, right? He could only assume so.
If he hadn't already groaned just a few seconds ago, he would have groaned again. How could she have no idea where they were going? Did she not have a fucking map on her? She could've just asked him to get off her while she took one out. Still, he clung on to his last vestiges of patience that he had so as to not completely alienate the only person he had seen today and who was willing to work with him.
"A rest sounds perfect. My feet are aching and I'm getting tired."
Almost as immediately as she suggested it, Aria slipped out of her grip and flopped onto the floor. At least a good idea came out of her. Granted, Aria had no idea where they were. Not like it would've made any significant difference to him owing to current circumstances, but he wasn't really sure how much longer he could stand. He could already feel himself slipping into sleep now again, only Paris's gun in his hand to remind him to stay awake.
"Owing to the fact that I'm fucking blind, I don't think I'd be very useful as a 'watch'," Aria reminded Natali sardonically as he propped his bag behind his head to use as a pillow. "Feel free to take watch before both of us sleep if you want. As much as I'd love to take turns doing that, I don't think I'd be very useful."
Aria shifted on the ground a bit to get comfortable. He didn't have a dead body to hold to this time around, but at least his eyes weren't stinging. That was a little victory he could take with him. As he began to get ready to sleep, his mind thought back again to what Natali said. Her question lead him to think repeatedly about life back home. How different things would be, how awful it would be for his parents. That question had stuck in his head and while he had let her focus on getting them lost before, now felt like as good a time to ask as any.
"Hey Natali, what did you mean before by 'No one's gonna look at us the same way anymore.'?"
If he hadn't already groaned just a few seconds ago, he would have groaned again. How could she have no idea where they were going? Did she not have a fucking map on her? She could've just asked him to get off her while she took one out. Still, he clung on to his last vestiges of patience that he had so as to not completely alienate the only person he had seen today and who was willing to work with him.
"A rest sounds perfect. My feet are aching and I'm getting tired."
Almost as immediately as she suggested it, Aria slipped out of her grip and flopped onto the floor. At least a good idea came out of her. Granted, Aria had no idea where they were. Not like it would've made any significant difference to him owing to current circumstances, but he wasn't really sure how much longer he could stand. He could already feel himself slipping into sleep now again, only Paris's gun in his hand to remind him to stay awake.
"Owing to the fact that I'm fucking blind, I don't think I'd be very useful as a 'watch'," Aria reminded Natali sardonically as he propped his bag behind his head to use as a pillow. "Feel free to take watch before both of us sleep if you want. As much as I'd love to take turns doing that, I don't think I'd be very useful."
Aria shifted on the ground a bit to get comfortable. He didn't have a dead body to hold to this time around, but at least his eyes weren't stinging. That was a little victory he could take with him. As he began to get ready to sleep, his mind thought back again to what Natali said. Her question lead him to think repeatedly about life back home. How different things would be, how awful it would be for his parents. That question had stuck in his head and while he had let her focus on getting them lost before, now felt like as good a time to ask as any.
"Hey Natali, what did you mean before by 'No one's gonna look at us the same way anymore.'?"
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Somersault
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Natali could only watch in bewilderment as Aria...rolled his eyes? At least, that was what she guessed he was trying to do with his messed up eyes, which she was sort-of grateful for, as it meant he couldn't see her grimace as he tried to do that. It was just another reminder of how fucked up things were around here, which did absolutely nothing to comfort her.
So, he was now pissed at her, which definitely wasn't fun, but at least he was ready to go sleep, and just like that, he was already laying on the ground, apparently ready to go to sleep right then and there. Well, okay then.
She yawned, but she covered her mouth with her hands and blinked rapidly, trying to fight the urge to sleep away. She had to keep her eyes open, to see if anyone would come along and try to attack them, attack her. She had the gun, didn't she? That was what kept Natali feeling safe, and so she held on to it, holding out against the tides of slumber.
At least it seemed that he'd be able to get a fairly good sleep tonight. Sadly, she wasn't sure if the same was possible for her. Could she really just go and drift off to sleep just like that? The previous day, she had any fallen asleep intending for a quick nap, but by the time she had woken up the speakers were blaring, which was just great. Amazing, really. Now, though, she was with someone else, someone she had to watch out for, and so she couldn't leave herself powerless and defenseless. Not like the guy on the ground right next to her, blinded and sort-of bloody.
Deciding to go sit cross-legged on the ground right next to Aria, Nat listened as he commented on his relative uselessness when it came to watch duty. While she was tempted to add a bitter comment about how he couldn't do most other things related to the basic use of sight, she bit it back and just nodded. Had to keep that within. If she just went up and ranted about her own survival, that would not end well. Hold it in, hold back the terror, she could do that.
Although she could just idly nod her head in agreement with the first of Aria's remarks, the next sentence that came out of his mouth was not one that she exactly expected to hear. She was tempted to ask for clarification, ask if he really meant what he had said, but deep down, she knew that he really had meant it. That he knew the desperation boiling inside of her body, because living was worth it, had to be worth it, because she needed it to be so. She needed something to keep her going, and that faint glimmer needed to be enough.
Still, she had to answer his question, and that would mean confronting a lot of shit she was not ready to unpack. "I guess, uh, I mean that if we return, people are gonna look at us all weird," she gestured with her hands, more for her own amusement than anything else, "and they'll all be so sorry for us, you know? We're not gonna be really known as people, just objects of pity."
Saying it out loud, putting it into the air just like that, didn't help Natali feel better. It helped her feel even more like shit, because she knew she wanted to live. It was awful, yes indeed, but she wanted it so badly, could almost taste that primal need for life in her teeth. Still felt like crap, but it still pulsed within her. It would be so easy. Could be so easy.
But even if nothing happened, she knew this would probably be a sleepless night.
So, he was now pissed at her, which definitely wasn't fun, but at least he was ready to go sleep, and just like that, he was already laying on the ground, apparently ready to go to sleep right then and there. Well, okay then.
She yawned, but she covered her mouth with her hands and blinked rapidly, trying to fight the urge to sleep away. She had to keep her eyes open, to see if anyone would come along and try to attack them, attack her. She had the gun, didn't she? That was what kept Natali feeling safe, and so she held on to it, holding out against the tides of slumber.
At least it seemed that he'd be able to get a fairly good sleep tonight. Sadly, she wasn't sure if the same was possible for her. Could she really just go and drift off to sleep just like that? The previous day, she had any fallen asleep intending for a quick nap, but by the time she had woken up the speakers were blaring, which was just great. Amazing, really. Now, though, she was with someone else, someone she had to watch out for, and so she couldn't leave herself powerless and defenseless. Not like the guy on the ground right next to her, blinded and sort-of bloody.
Deciding to go sit cross-legged on the ground right next to Aria, Nat listened as he commented on his relative uselessness when it came to watch duty. While she was tempted to add a bitter comment about how he couldn't do most other things related to the basic use of sight, she bit it back and just nodded. Had to keep that within. If she just went up and ranted about her own survival, that would not end well. Hold it in, hold back the terror, she could do that.
Although she could just idly nod her head in agreement with the first of Aria's remarks, the next sentence that came out of his mouth was not one that she exactly expected to hear. She was tempted to ask for clarification, ask if he really meant what he had said, but deep down, she knew that he really had meant it. That he knew the desperation boiling inside of her body, because living was worth it, had to be worth it, because she needed it to be so. She needed something to keep her going, and that faint glimmer needed to be enough.
Still, she had to answer his question, and that would mean confronting a lot of shit she was not ready to unpack. "I guess, uh, I mean that if we return, people are gonna look at us all weird," she gestured with her hands, more for her own amusement than anything else, "and they'll all be so sorry for us, you know? We're not gonna be really known as people, just objects of pity."
Saying it out loud, putting it into the air just like that, didn't help Natali feel better. It helped her feel even more like shit, because she knew she wanted to live. It was awful, yes indeed, but she wanted it so badly, could almost taste that primal need for life in her teeth. Still felt like crap, but it still pulsed within her. It would be so easy. Could be so easy.
But even if nothing happened, she knew this would probably be a sleepless night.
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jimmydalad
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Aria laid quietly as he took in Natali's words. A snarky reply didn't really seem appropriate in this situation when considering the heavy nature of the topic. Aria knew that she was right. People's perceptions of him or anyone else who came back would be completely shifted because of what happened here. Not to mention on a personal level that he would be going back as a blind man. Or would a blind thing be more accurate? Maybe. It'd be impossible for life to go back to normal. Not with all these classmates missing.
Did he really want to go back to that? A life where he'd be more of a burden on his parents than before, hounded by media looking to interview him for his soppy stories of the island and lose himself? He couldn't be that loser who just wanted to stay away from people and work at McDonald's when he got out of school. Would his self be changed or would the media just shape him into what was convenient for them? Without the means to look outwards, Aria found himself looking inwards. Would the media be honest about who he was on the island?
Hell no.
They'd gloss over the facts. Neglect to mention how he almost was the one to take Paris's life. That he spent an entire day clinging to his dead friend and verbally lashing out at the first person he found on the island. They'd only want the things that Natali mentioned. The things that would make him palatable and pitiable. It would be adding lies to a pile, eventually hoping they take shape to form a new him. One that was just there to be pitied. To be a symbol of whatever fucking movement wants to associate themselves with this stupid game.
"I don't know if I want to go back," Aria admitted, letting words flow out of his mouth in a steady stream of consciousness. "I mean, I want to survive, that's obvious. I have no plans for fucking dying or anything. But, I don't want to be that symbol of pity. A symbol that people can just flock to and give insincere well-wishes while this is all relevant and then fade into obscurity later on. That won't change the fact that what we went through was fucking sick and it's not gonna stop that fucking Danya from making these stupid fucking games and ruining peoples' lives."
Aria ripped at the ground in front of him, feeling the dew from the morning still rest on the leaves. He thought about his mom and dad again. They had it tough enough with all the late hours they needed to work to support the family. Before, that was achievable because he could look after himself. Just the thought of the increased burden he would put on them alone added to the hesitation of going back. If he was the final survivor, out of some fucking miracle, he'd have to deal with his mom and dad being forced to look after him, putting more pressure on them to support the household. He wouldn't be able to do hobbies he enjoyed, such as video games, either. Those thoughts mixed with his previous ones to make him question if he even should be the final survivor.
"My family's home life isn't easy, and coming back blind would make it infinitely harder. All the positive platitudes in the world will not change the fact that I can't fucking see anymore. My family need to take long shifts to pay for our livelihood. How can they do that when I can't even find the fucking fridge or the toilet? Plus, we'd be hounded by people all the time, wanting to ask us questions and paint a pretty fucking picture of what happened here and not accept the fucking awful truth. Whoever comes back is going to have all the dark bits squashed and forgotten. It's gonna be a fucking feel-good story for everyone else while our families have to be the ones who truly suffer. I don't want to be fucking associated with that. I don't want to be an even bigger burden on my family than I already fucking am!"
He wasn't aware that his voice had gotten louder the more that he talked. It felt like each word that came out just inspired the next word with more bitter anger and frustration until it all burst out into a slew of intense emotions. Aria's right hand was a vice grip on Paris's gun. His other hand quickly ripped out another patch of grass. Aria took a few deep breaths, trying to let calmness come back to him once again, before dispersing the grass clumps in his hand and letting the wind take them away.
"I'm sorry Natali," Aria let out sheepishly, turning over and firmly shutting his eyes. "I need some sleep. I know I want to live, I'm not suicidal or anything. But, I don't know if it's worth it for me to go back. Our lives would never be the same again. I don't know, maybe I'm just fucking tired or something. Night Natali."
It did take a while for him to sleep. At first, he kept on tossing and turning, finding the most comfortable position while constantly thinking about life back at home. Eventually, his twitching began to slow and he lost himself to sleep.
Did he really want to go back to that? A life where he'd be more of a burden on his parents than before, hounded by media looking to interview him for his soppy stories of the island and lose himself? He couldn't be that loser who just wanted to stay away from people and work at McDonald's when he got out of school. Would his self be changed or would the media just shape him into what was convenient for them? Without the means to look outwards, Aria found himself looking inwards. Would the media be honest about who he was on the island?
Hell no.
They'd gloss over the facts. Neglect to mention how he almost was the one to take Paris's life. That he spent an entire day clinging to his dead friend and verbally lashing out at the first person he found on the island. They'd only want the things that Natali mentioned. The things that would make him palatable and pitiable. It would be adding lies to a pile, eventually hoping they take shape to form a new him. One that was just there to be pitied. To be a symbol of whatever fucking movement wants to associate themselves with this stupid game.
"I don't know if I want to go back," Aria admitted, letting words flow out of his mouth in a steady stream of consciousness. "I mean, I want to survive, that's obvious. I have no plans for fucking dying or anything. But, I don't want to be that symbol of pity. A symbol that people can just flock to and give insincere well-wishes while this is all relevant and then fade into obscurity later on. That won't change the fact that what we went through was fucking sick and it's not gonna stop that fucking Danya from making these stupid fucking games and ruining peoples' lives."
Aria ripped at the ground in front of him, feeling the dew from the morning still rest on the leaves. He thought about his mom and dad again. They had it tough enough with all the late hours they needed to work to support the family. Before, that was achievable because he could look after himself. Just the thought of the increased burden he would put on them alone added to the hesitation of going back. If he was the final survivor, out of some fucking miracle, he'd have to deal with his mom and dad being forced to look after him, putting more pressure on them to support the household. He wouldn't be able to do hobbies he enjoyed, such as video games, either. Those thoughts mixed with his previous ones to make him question if he even should be the final survivor.
"My family's home life isn't easy, and coming back blind would make it infinitely harder. All the positive platitudes in the world will not change the fact that I can't fucking see anymore. My family need to take long shifts to pay for our livelihood. How can they do that when I can't even find the fucking fridge or the toilet? Plus, we'd be hounded by people all the time, wanting to ask us questions and paint a pretty fucking picture of what happened here and not accept the fucking awful truth. Whoever comes back is going to have all the dark bits squashed and forgotten. It's gonna be a fucking feel-good story for everyone else while our families have to be the ones who truly suffer. I don't want to be fucking associated with that. I don't want to be an even bigger burden on my family than I already fucking am!"
He wasn't aware that his voice had gotten louder the more that he talked. It felt like each word that came out just inspired the next word with more bitter anger and frustration until it all burst out into a slew of intense emotions. Aria's right hand was a vice grip on Paris's gun. His other hand quickly ripped out another patch of grass. Aria took a few deep breaths, trying to let calmness come back to him once again, before dispersing the grass clumps in his hand and letting the wind take them away.
"I'm sorry Natali," Aria let out sheepishly, turning over and firmly shutting his eyes. "I need some sleep. I know I want to live, I'm not suicidal or anything. But, I don't know if it's worth it for me to go back. Our lives would never be the same again. I don't know, maybe I'm just fucking tired or something. Night Natali."
It did take a while for him to sleep. At first, he kept on tossing and turning, finding the most comfortable position while constantly thinking about life back at home. Eventually, his twitching began to slow and he lost himself to sleep.
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Somersault
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Well, uh, wow. She really couldn't hold a candle to that.
All Natali did as Aria spoke was nod once more, nod incessantly, as if trying to communicate her agreement with his remarks in a non-verbal way, or shake out all the doubts from her head. The more Aria spoke, the more sure he seemed in his own resolve about the crappiness of his future living situation, the less sure she became in her plan. The one that ended with her living, finally free to go after her dreams, pretend that this all didn't happen.
But, it was times like these when she wished she was an idiot. You could never forget things like this, could you? They would always boil underneath the surface, never fully realized but always there, and all it would take was one bad argument, one push, and it was back there in full force, the terror, the fear, oh God, the fear. Going into the black void known as death, facing it head-on, in the here and now. Dying, gone forever? Would she ever be ready for that? No, probably not, the feeling of being submerged forever an alien thought to her frightened mind.
His words still stood there like an unmoving obelisk, as she continued to sit and listen. His family was hit hard by the shit happening in Denton, he wasn't sure if they'd be able to cope with caring for a blind son. Not being a burden anymore, that seemed to be what his whole little speech seemed to center around. She got that. No one wanted to be the load, the one who others needed to drag on for days upon days, carried on piggyback or led around like a dog on a leash. No one wanted to be powerless, especially her.
As his voice began to grow softer, instead replaced by light snoring, Nat could've sworn she had felt the earth shaking beneath her. Or was that her own body, as she began to rock back and forth on the grass? She didn't know. Did she ever?
Aria was still laying on the grass, sleeping, a sitting duck for whoever wanted to score an easy kill and be done with it. What had he said again? He didn't know if it'd be worth it to go back and live? She looked again, her eyes wide and full of emotion. What exactly that emotion was unknown even to her. Living was worth it, it had to be, she had told herself for the past two days that was the goal. There was no other way around it.
She was brave. She was strong. She had the gun in her hoodie the whole time, so she could protect herself. It was possible, it was even recommended, by the man who spoke when the intercoms came on. Didn't she deserve a chance to go and experience what the world had to offer? Didn't she deserve it more than the blind boy laying only a bit away? Hadn't he said that he himself wasn't sure if he should make it back home?
Yes. Yes. At least, that's what Natali Greer told herself, unwilling to go to sleep. She looked back at the gun, and looked back at Aria, and rocked again. Why couldn't she just go and pull the trigger? He wouldn't even feel a thing. He knew he was a burden. It should have been so easy, should have been done with the gun, just like that. No hesitation, no remorse for it at all. It should have been like that.
Instead, it took perhaps 90 minutes or so for Natali to stop her holding pattern, and stand up shaking, pointing the gun directly at Aria's head, the boy's chest still rising and falling in slumber, still snoring. Her hands were twitching, but she took a deep breath. Her hoodie was already off, so there wouldn't be any blood. Planned. Methodical. Peaceful. That's how it had to be. For her to live, for her to get off this place.
To keep on running from the fear that she would be nothing.
The safety was clicked off, and she pressed the trigger with shaky fingers, aiming right at his brain.
The gun screamed as the bullet flew, the sound a loud cry on the largely quiet cliffs. She thought she did too, but the ringing in her ears wouldn't stop.
Neither would the blood.
B26 ARIA SAMUELS: DECEASED
All Natali did as Aria spoke was nod once more, nod incessantly, as if trying to communicate her agreement with his remarks in a non-verbal way, or shake out all the doubts from her head. The more Aria spoke, the more sure he seemed in his own resolve about the crappiness of his future living situation, the less sure she became in her plan. The one that ended with her living, finally free to go after her dreams, pretend that this all didn't happen.
But, it was times like these when she wished she was an idiot. You could never forget things like this, could you? They would always boil underneath the surface, never fully realized but always there, and all it would take was one bad argument, one push, and it was back there in full force, the terror, the fear, oh God, the fear. Going into the black void known as death, facing it head-on, in the here and now. Dying, gone forever? Would she ever be ready for that? No, probably not, the feeling of being submerged forever an alien thought to her frightened mind.
His words still stood there like an unmoving obelisk, as she continued to sit and listen. His family was hit hard by the shit happening in Denton, he wasn't sure if they'd be able to cope with caring for a blind son. Not being a burden anymore, that seemed to be what his whole little speech seemed to center around. She got that. No one wanted to be the load, the one who others needed to drag on for days upon days, carried on piggyback or led around like a dog on a leash. No one wanted to be powerless, especially her.
As his voice began to grow softer, instead replaced by light snoring, Nat could've sworn she had felt the earth shaking beneath her. Or was that her own body, as she began to rock back and forth on the grass? She didn't know. Did she ever?
Aria was still laying on the grass, sleeping, a sitting duck for whoever wanted to score an easy kill and be done with it. What had he said again? He didn't know if it'd be worth it to go back and live? She looked again, her eyes wide and full of emotion. What exactly that emotion was unknown even to her. Living was worth it, it had to be, she had told herself for the past two days that was the goal. There was no other way around it.
She was brave. She was strong. She had the gun in her hoodie the whole time, so she could protect herself. It was possible, it was even recommended, by the man who spoke when the intercoms came on. Didn't she deserve a chance to go and experience what the world had to offer? Didn't she deserve it more than the blind boy laying only a bit away? Hadn't he said that he himself wasn't sure if he should make it back home?
Yes. Yes. At least, that's what Natali Greer told herself, unwilling to go to sleep. She looked back at the gun, and looked back at Aria, and rocked again. Why couldn't she just go and pull the trigger? He wouldn't even feel a thing. He knew he was a burden. It should have been so easy, should have been done with the gun, just like that. No hesitation, no remorse for it at all. It should have been like that.
Instead, it took perhaps 90 minutes or so for Natali to stop her holding pattern, and stand up shaking, pointing the gun directly at Aria's head, the boy's chest still rising and falling in slumber, still snoring. Her hands were twitching, but she took a deep breath. Her hoodie was already off, so there wouldn't be any blood. Planned. Methodical. Peaceful. That's how it had to be. For her to live, for her to get off this place.
To keep on running from the fear that she would be nothing.
The safety was clicked off, and she pressed the trigger with shaky fingers, aiming right at his brain.
The gun screamed as the bullet flew, the sound a loud cry on the largely quiet cliffs. She thought she did too, but the ringing in her ears wouldn't stop.
Neither would the blood.
B26 ARIA SAMUELS: DECEASED
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Somersault
- Posts: 236
- Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2018 9:21 am
The blood was pouring out from the hole that now made out most of his - no, it's face, as Natali continued to stand there and stare and stare and stare.
It wasn't meant to be like this, there was only meant to be a small little hole in his forehead, not a gaping wound as if half his face had been eaten by a rabid dog or something. Not like this, no. But then, she remembered Richard's body back at the ravine, bloody and missing an eye.
She almost lost control of her stomach, but barely managed to keep her meager meals over the past day inside. That definitely did not feel good. It felt like a volcano just waiting to burst, a wave about to crash over, on the verge of destruction, but unable to do so. No, she was not well. But, wasn't this supposed to be worth it? A taking of a single life so hers could live on beyond this awful place, so that she didn't have to die.
The more times she looked down, saw her shaking holding a gun, the gun, she had to mentally motivate herself to do this. There was no other way to get off this island. Only this. It had to be like that.
If she just focused on all the objective bits, maybe Natali could distract herself from what was happening. She now had her one kill to get out of here, she had another gun, and she had Aria's bag. That was good, that was smart. More supplies meant less of a chance to go hungry, less of a chance to feel as cold as she did right in that moment.
Would the gun, her gun still keep her safe? She could only hope so, as she finally remembered to re-cock the safety, mentally cursing herself for remaining so unaware. Injured and in shock, she would've made an easy target, picked off like the rest. Like the guy - no, body laying right beside her, the blood now mixing with the grass around it. Couldn't think of what was beside her anymore, and it wasn't as if any vestiges of Aria were left inside of it, right? Focusing on what it used to be meant focusing on the guilt, but she had to convince herself she was right. For relieving a person of his suffering, for letting him go to a better place.
For killing an innocent classmate because she was desperate and he was an easy target. For believing that she had any right to go take the life of someone else, based on some statement that could have been taken in a myriad of ways.
It made her feel a bit sick, but now she felt obliged to go through the things left around the body that had stopped twitching, because she needed to live, right?
It was an awful thing to do, grabbing the gun out of the cold, clammy hands, transferring all of the things she had found - food, ammo for the other gun, the gun, water, another first aid kit. She was going through the motions now, sifting through the supplies, placing them into her progressively larger duffel bag. There were people around her, she heard noises, but paying them any mind would kill her. No need to go out there. Not yet.
Tying her hoodie around her waist, Natali realized how awful she must have looked. The cameras were still everywhere, and her parents were watching, her entire family was, and she didn't know if they'd be happy with what she had done. Neither of her parents had been particularly aggressive people, but she could only hope that they saw what she did as an act that needed to be done.
Had to believe something was going right, anything, just choose randomly, A-Z, something.
No, though, she couldn't choose right now. Not here, over the body of the former-person she had shot in the head, not next to the scene of the crime.
She turned back and saw the lighthouse for what was probably the last time in her existence. It didn't look so welcoming anymore.
Instead, she chose to run. Anyplace, anywhere, as long as it wasn't here. Too much to dwell on.
((Natali Greer continued in she lit the bridge and burned it))
It wasn't meant to be like this, there was only meant to be a small little hole in his forehead, not a gaping wound as if half his face had been eaten by a rabid dog or something. Not like this, no. But then, she remembered Richard's body back at the ravine, bloody and missing an eye.
She almost lost control of her stomach, but barely managed to keep her meager meals over the past day inside. That definitely did not feel good. It felt like a volcano just waiting to burst, a wave about to crash over, on the verge of destruction, but unable to do so. No, she was not well. But, wasn't this supposed to be worth it? A taking of a single life so hers could live on beyond this awful place, so that she didn't have to die.
The more times she looked down, saw her shaking holding a gun, the gun, she had to mentally motivate herself to do this. There was no other way to get off this island. Only this. It had to be like that.
If she just focused on all the objective bits, maybe Natali could distract herself from what was happening. She now had her one kill to get out of here, she had another gun, and she had Aria's bag. That was good, that was smart. More supplies meant less of a chance to go hungry, less of a chance to feel as cold as she did right in that moment.
Would the gun, her gun still keep her safe? She could only hope so, as she finally remembered to re-cock the safety, mentally cursing herself for remaining so unaware. Injured and in shock, she would've made an easy target, picked off like the rest. Like the guy - no, body laying right beside her, the blood now mixing with the grass around it. Couldn't think of what was beside her anymore, and it wasn't as if any vestiges of Aria were left inside of it, right? Focusing on what it used to be meant focusing on the guilt, but she had to convince herself she was right. For relieving a person of his suffering, for letting him go to a better place.
For killing an innocent classmate because she was desperate and he was an easy target. For believing that she had any right to go take the life of someone else, based on some statement that could have been taken in a myriad of ways.
It made her feel a bit sick, but now she felt obliged to go through the things left around the body that had stopped twitching, because she needed to live, right?
It was an awful thing to do, grabbing the gun out of the cold, clammy hands, transferring all of the things she had found - food, ammo for the other gun, the gun, water, another first aid kit. She was going through the motions now, sifting through the supplies, placing them into her progressively larger duffel bag. There were people around her, she heard noises, but paying them any mind would kill her. No need to go out there. Not yet.
Tying her hoodie around her waist, Natali realized how awful she must have looked. The cameras were still everywhere, and her parents were watching, her entire family was, and she didn't know if they'd be happy with what she had done. Neither of her parents had been particularly aggressive people, but she could only hope that they saw what she did as an act that needed to be done.
Had to believe something was going right, anything, just choose randomly, A-Z, something.
No, though, she couldn't choose right now. Not here, over the body of the former-person she had shot in the head, not next to the scene of the crime.
She turned back and saw the lighthouse for what was probably the last time in her existence. It didn't look so welcoming anymore.
Instead, she chose to run. Anyplace, anywhere, as long as it wasn't here. Too much to dwell on.
((Natali Greer continued in she lit the bridge and burned it))