She had that dream again.
It happened in reality, at least partly. She went to the trailer, entered and she saw him laying there in his underwear and she froze. Since he was sleeping and his crotch toward the door, Tina had seen it all. In the real world, Tina left and didn't say a word but in her dream world, it was different.
She kissed him. She touched him. He touched her and kissed her, nibbled on her neck and ear. Tina wasn't wearing her best underwear, but he still removed them with his teeth. Their lips locked, their hands groped and caressed with a mixture of roughness and softness that Tina wanted. She ran her fingers through his hair as he kissed harder and harder, her breathing quickening, feeling her own hot breath on her lips, her mouth drying in a satisfying way.
Tina craved it. She craved someone to hold her, to kiss her, to touch her but nobody ever did. She was starving for human touch, starving for someone to hold her and tell she was worth it.
What was she supposed to do? She wasn't pretty or smart or popular, nobody would date her, but she enjoyed the moment, digging her fingers in Daniel's scalp.
She knew it wasn't real, but she wished it was.
That dream she had for the thousandth of times left her crying on the floor while smoking her breakfast. The same, irregular and painful breathing she was making in her dream was with her now, but it didn't make her feel good. She hurt, someone where bandages and pain killers wouldn't reach.
She closed her eyes, trying to reach that place again. It didn't work, she closed her eyes and tried it and she only felt more tears and only saw a darkness she knew too well. She put her right hand over her eyes, and let more tears trickled down her face. Why did this need to happen here? Couldn't she just die without having that stupid dream about that boy? She inhaled more smoke and exhaled it in form of an "o".
She sat, her back against the counter. She still sobbed but she starting to feel less sad. It was around 5 AM. Maybe she could try to fall asleep again, maybe she'd see him again and could finally kill him.
falling in love with mp3's
weird incest at the beginning but then it gets better
6 AM and she felt stupid.
She twisted her cigarette and pressed against her right hand. It made a satisfying sounds, like when you drop water on a stove. She threw the cigarette to the side, revealing several butts that also left a trace on her hand, her wrist and her arm. She never self-harmed in the past. Once, she dragged the tip of a knife against her hand, seeing the skin raise softly but it didn't really that count.
She often saw other girls and some boys do it at lunch, pressing the cancer sticks against their body. She knew how it felt now and it felt good. It calmed down the thing inside of her, the thing stopped yelling at her. The images of Daniel were far away and the feeling of his mouth over her bodies were just vague and weak tingling, she sighed.
Slowly, that feeling that was once good started to fall into shame. She just did that. She looked at the red spots on her, they were burning, hurting. It felt like they were tiny mouths, opening and closing. She felt the pain spread in her arm and her fingers and she started crying. She was just as pathetic, really.
Tina cried, again. It was the second time she cried today, and the second time she cried on the island, and the second time she cried in her life. It felt gross, she knew why she didn't do it. Her nose was running and her tears felt salty. She pulled her tongue out, and licked her injuries.
It hurt, but it felt good. Vaguely, she felt like she was healing them. Maybe she was dying of some sort of injuries she didn't remember receiving and that's why she felt like this. It tasted like ashes and burnt skin, just like how she loved her coffee.
She licked them again, feeling the tiny, iritating circles on her body biting back. She bite her thumb. She raised her gun then she pulled the trigger.
She shooked her body. She shot again, and again. She bit harder, her eyes closing tighter as she cried. More bullets came, and more hateful words about herself came, but nobody heard them. They were drowned out by the hail of physical bullets raining on the ceilling while the storm inside of her was raging. She threw the gun aside.
She put her head between her knees and went back at smoking her breakfast away.
She twisted her cigarette and pressed against her right hand. It made a satisfying sounds, like when you drop water on a stove. She threw the cigarette to the side, revealing several butts that also left a trace on her hand, her wrist and her arm. She never self-harmed in the past. Once, she dragged the tip of a knife against her hand, seeing the skin raise softly but it didn't really that count.
She often saw other girls and some boys do it at lunch, pressing the cancer sticks against their body. She knew how it felt now and it felt good. It calmed down the thing inside of her, the thing stopped yelling at her. The images of Daniel were far away and the feeling of his mouth over her bodies were just vague and weak tingling, she sighed.
Slowly, that feeling that was once good started to fall into shame. She just did that. She looked at the red spots on her, they were burning, hurting. It felt like they were tiny mouths, opening and closing. She felt the pain spread in her arm and her fingers and she started crying. She was just as pathetic, really.
Tina cried, again. It was the second time she cried today, and the second time she cried on the island, and the second time she cried in her life. It felt gross, she knew why she didn't do it. Her nose was running and her tears felt salty. She pulled her tongue out, and licked her injuries.
It hurt, but it felt good. Vaguely, she felt like she was healing them. Maybe she was dying of some sort of injuries she didn't remember receiving and that's why she felt like this. It tasted like ashes and burnt skin, just like how she loved her coffee.
She licked them again, feeling the tiny, iritating circles on her body biting back. She bite her thumb. She raised her gun then she pulled the trigger.
She shooked her body. She shot again, and again. She bit harder, her eyes closing tighter as she cried. More bullets came, and more hateful words about herself came, but nobody heard them. They were drowned out by the hail of physical bullets raining on the ceilling while the storm inside of her was raging. She threw the gun aside.
She put her head between her knees and went back at smoking her breakfast away.
Thanks for the nicotine rush, Azealia Banks.
She was now bandaging her burnt hand. She didn't know she did that. She just felt like doing it, she was tired of feeling nothing. There wasn't any real good reasons for hurting herself other than it felt good and she wanted to do it again. She looked at the empty pack of cigarette, she couldn't have the opportunity to do that again. A dumb impulse sparked from the boredom accumulated over a week. She bite the bandage and slipped the edge under the other part.
She looked at the bandage, it looked badly done. She never learned how to bandage a hand, the only part she did well was her stomach. She lifted her bloodstained tank top, revealing an even more bloody bandage. She peeled it off, revealing a yellow, oozing wound. She looked at it for a while. She could have at least tried to remove the glass shards that were still inside of her. When she laid down, she could feel them move inside of her.
Was she dying? Was this dying felt like? It felt like nothing and you had weird sex dreams and lost all your inhibition? Maybe that was how dying was. Natali just died, and she didn't look like that. Maybe it was because Tina's death was drawn out and not a short one like a gunshot to the guts. Well, she could try to live for a few more hours, maybe even a day. She felt like seeing who would win this, hopefully not Saachi or Bunny.
She grabbed some alcohol, shoved a clean bandage down her throat, and started to disinfect it. It hurt more than her other wounds. Maybe the pus really didn't like it, when she pressed around the wound it was slowly falling. She grabbed a pair of pliers and inserted it in the biggest, ooziest, yellowest wound. She felt something push against her inside, and realized she had found of one of the many broken glass pieces still laying inside of her. She grabbed it and pulled it out.
Well, a part of it. The rest broke off, so Tina bit harder and stabbed herself again with the pliers. She pulled it, all at once. It was at least an inch long, more or less. For a second, she wondered if her stomach fat saved her but then blood, and her new bestfriend pus, started to fall on her pants in clotted chunks. She just looked at it for a while. It didn't come to a stop and she started to feel woozy. She grabbed another piece of bandage and pressed on her wound.
She fell to her side. Her eyes were watering. Was she really dying now? Did she hastened her fate? She didn't know, she didn't even hurt that badly. She curled up, her hands over her stomach. Was this part where she begged to live? She didn't care at this point, about what happened to her. This was a boring, pretty painless death if you ignored the fever and the burning in her guts.
She couldn't lie to herself anymore, it really hurt. Something was really wrong about her injuries, maybe the glass shard was in an organ and when she pulled it out, she removed the dam stopping her from bleeding out. That wasn't a lot of blood, it wasn't a lot of bright red blood like Nat, so what was happening? It still fell chunky like milk you put orange juice in. She was just shaking at this point, holding her guts with a bandage barely holding the chunks that went through her fingers.
Another hour lost, another hour waiting on the floor.
She was now bandaging her burnt hand. She didn't know she did that. She just felt like doing it, she was tired of feeling nothing. There wasn't any real good reasons for hurting herself other than it felt good and she wanted to do it again. She looked at the empty pack of cigarette, she couldn't have the opportunity to do that again. A dumb impulse sparked from the boredom accumulated over a week. She bite the bandage and slipped the edge under the other part.
She looked at the bandage, it looked badly done. She never learned how to bandage a hand, the only part she did well was her stomach. She lifted her bloodstained tank top, revealing an even more bloody bandage. She peeled it off, revealing a yellow, oozing wound. She looked at it for a while. She could have at least tried to remove the glass shards that were still inside of her. When she laid down, she could feel them move inside of her.
Was she dying? Was this dying felt like? It felt like nothing and you had weird sex dreams and lost all your inhibition? Maybe that was how dying was. Natali just died, and she didn't look like that. Maybe it was because Tina's death was drawn out and not a short one like a gunshot to the guts. Well, she could try to live for a few more hours, maybe even a day. She felt like seeing who would win this, hopefully not Saachi or Bunny.
She grabbed some alcohol, shoved a clean bandage down her throat, and started to disinfect it. It hurt more than her other wounds. Maybe the pus really didn't like it, when she pressed around the wound it was slowly falling. She grabbed a pair of pliers and inserted it in the biggest, ooziest, yellowest wound. She felt something push against her inside, and realized she had found of one of the many broken glass pieces still laying inside of her. She grabbed it and pulled it out.
Well, a part of it. The rest broke off, so Tina bit harder and stabbed herself again with the pliers. She pulled it, all at once. It was at least an inch long, more or less. For a second, she wondered if her stomach fat saved her but then blood, and her new bestfriend pus, started to fall on her pants in clotted chunks. She just looked at it for a while. It didn't come to a stop and she started to feel woozy. She grabbed another piece of bandage and pressed on her wound.
She fell to her side. Her eyes were watering. Was she really dying now? Did she hastened her fate? She didn't know, she didn't even hurt that badly. She curled up, her hands over her stomach. Was this part where she begged to live? She didn't care at this point, about what happened to her. This was a boring, pretty painless death if you ignored the fever and the burning in her guts.
She couldn't lie to herself anymore, it really hurt. Something was really wrong about her injuries, maybe the glass shard was in an organ and when she pulled it out, she removed the dam stopping her from bleeding out. That wasn't a lot of blood, it wasn't a lot of bright red blood like Nat, so what was happening? It still fell chunky like milk you put orange juice in. She was just shaking at this point, holding her guts with a bandage barely holding the chunks that went through her fingers.
Another hour lost, another hour waiting on the floor.
ZZZ
stolen from cic
zzz
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Red and numb and hand. It quaked, trembled, rocked with every single futile breath that put soot and eroded tombstone dust into her still beating lungs. Air was no longer enough, it hurt too. It had always hurt, Tina realized with the dull, wet, slimy pop of one rusty little gear of her brain into it's resting place.
The darkness she saw, it had always been. Black and ink and midnight, shredded tattered muslin ribbons about her form. Draped she had been, cut of such cloth as a stoic fashion model to be used then toppled and left to dust and ruin.
Red splashed on her from above, in rivulets off a wrist superior to her own. It was warm and soft, silky.
Red within her. It bubbled and frothed weakly. She made efforts, she was efforts. All of them already failed.
A smile from above. It seemed a mimicry of Tina's face, as much a reflection as the ghost in the glass shard to be her guillotine. A pleasant little reminder in molten colors and shapes that teased with soft edges. Of where momentum was. Of who somebody was. Of where life was. Of color, of breath, of sound. Of one. Not of Tina.
Two hands became one as one eroded away. The momentum and impulse of life turned downward with crushing finality. One hand's final, artisan brush stroke. The camera giggled impishly, an organic sort of metal screeching it's newborn breath as it let them witness.
"... somehow, someway, you make them see you."
They did see her. Oh, Papa, they did see her.
They saw nothing.
And so did she.
z
z
z
z
z
z
z
z
z
z
z
zzz
ZZZ
stolen from cic
zzz
z
z
z
Red and numb and hand. It quaked, trembled, rocked with every single futile breath that put soot and eroded tombstone dust into her still beating lungs. Air was no longer enough, it hurt too. It had always hurt, Tina realized with the dull, wet, slimy pop of one rusty little gear of her brain into it's resting place.
The darkness she saw, it had always been. Black and ink and midnight, shredded tattered muslin ribbons about her form. Draped she had been, cut of such cloth as a stoic fashion model to be used then toppled and left to dust and ruin.
Red splashed on her from above, in rivulets off a wrist superior to her own. It was warm and soft, silky.
Red within her. It bubbled and frothed weakly. She made efforts, she was efforts. All of them already failed.
A smile from above. It seemed a mimicry of Tina's face, as much a reflection as the ghost in the glass shard to be her guillotine. A pleasant little reminder in molten colors and shapes that teased with soft edges. Of where momentum was. Of who somebody was. Of where life was. Of color, of breath, of sound. Of one. Not of Tina.
Two hands became one as one eroded away. The momentum and impulse of life turned downward with crushing finality. One hand's final, artisan brush stroke. The camera giggled impishly, an organic sort of metal screeching it's newborn breath as it let them witness.
"... somehow, someway, you make them see you."
They did see her. Oh, Papa, they did see her.
They saw nothing.
And so did she.
z
z
z
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zzz
ZZZ
That pink sweater bitch got into her dreams again.
What did she want? To kill her over and over again just because she could? Just get out of her head, she had this stupid dream about this doll-like girl since 2015. A recurrent, never ending nightmare where the girl with the pink sweater held her down and kill her. Most of the time, she slit her throat. One time she just stabbed her in the eyeball, and Tina remembered feeling her eye becoming a liquid, and feeling the juice dripping on her face as the cunt pulled out the knife to stab her again.
She remembered her injuries and looked it. There was still a hole, and it was still burning and bleeding. She woke up because of the buzzing of the announcement. She didn't really listen to them. She hoped she wasn't in a danger zone. She'd know soon anyways. She heard names like Kyran, and Natali, and Miranda and other people she didn't care about. They were either dead or dying, so it didn't matter.
She curled up in the corner of the kitchen, her hands still on her stomach. She couldn't go back to sleep. She didn't want to dream of her cousin giving her head or that pink sweater bitch killing her again. She wasn't sure if she was dying anymore. She was weak, that was for sure. She trembled and shivered.
She wasn't sure if she was having a fever but she felt really hot. Her eyes were burning. She took random pills from Nat's first-aid kit and shallowed them with her water bottle. She hoped one of them was some kind of antibiotics. That's what they needed to take when you had an infection, right? She wasn't sure, she knew she had to take some when she got a splinter and it got infected. It was the same deal, basically but change wood with glass and change casual normal life with everyday suffering.
She wondered how many people were left. Not a lot, that's for sure. The game was probably ending, at she hoped it was. How would she move to another place? Just sitting made her feel woozy and nauseous. Sleeping was an escape but she dreamt of things she'd rather not see or feel again. She rest her against the cabinet, it felt cold. At least, for a moment, she felt good.
She had been here for at least a couple of hours and no-one was showing up. She was fine with that, she wanted to be alone anyways. Better be alone than with other people who would take her as an easy kill. What they didn't know was the fact she had two guns. If anybody entered the mess hall, she'd open fire.
Or maybe not. She could wait until they come by the kitchen. They would probably follow the blood trails until there left by KK and Tina a couple of days ago and see a girl curled up in a corner, dying from an infection. She could shoot them there.
What did she want? To kill her over and over again just because she could? Just get out of her head, she had this stupid dream about this doll-like girl since 2015. A recurrent, never ending nightmare where the girl with the pink sweater held her down and kill her. Most of the time, she slit her throat. One time she just stabbed her in the eyeball, and Tina remembered feeling her eye becoming a liquid, and feeling the juice dripping on her face as the cunt pulled out the knife to stab her again.
She remembered her injuries and looked it. There was still a hole, and it was still burning and bleeding. She woke up because of the buzzing of the announcement. She didn't really listen to them. She hoped she wasn't in a danger zone. She'd know soon anyways. She heard names like Kyran, and Natali, and Miranda and other people she didn't care about. They were either dead or dying, so it didn't matter.
She curled up in the corner of the kitchen, her hands still on her stomach. She couldn't go back to sleep. She didn't want to dream of her cousin giving her head or that pink sweater bitch killing her again. She wasn't sure if she was dying anymore. She was weak, that was for sure. She trembled and shivered.
She wasn't sure if she was having a fever but she felt really hot. Her eyes were burning. She took random pills from Nat's first-aid kit and shallowed them with her water bottle. She hoped one of them was some kind of antibiotics. That's what they needed to take when you had an infection, right? She wasn't sure, she knew she had to take some when she got a splinter and it got infected. It was the same deal, basically but change wood with glass and change casual normal life with everyday suffering.
She wondered how many people were left. Not a lot, that's for sure. The game was probably ending, at she hoped it was. How would she move to another place? Just sitting made her feel woozy and nauseous. Sleeping was an escape but she dreamt of things she'd rather not see or feel again. She rest her against the cabinet, it felt cold. At least, for a moment, she felt good.
She had been here for at least a couple of hours and no-one was showing up. She was fine with that, she wanted to be alone anyways. Better be alone than with other people who would take her as an easy kill. What they didn't know was the fact she had two guns. If anybody entered the mess hall, she'd open fire.
Or maybe not. She could wait until they come by the kitchen. They would probably follow the blood trails until there left by KK and Tina a couple of days ago and see a girl curled up in a corner, dying from an infection. She could shoot them there.
It smelled disgusting.
She didn't know if it was her guts or the girl over there, but it smelled like rotting meat. She ate some rotten chicken wings on, it was pretty disgusting. She wondered what would the girl taste. She was getting hungry. Her stomach with the hole in it was grumbling. Must be around noon, or later.
She was still weak, still shaking. She was still unable to stand. Maybe it was the blood loss, there was a lot of it on the floor. It made a pool around her and her legs were covered with it. It had dried up a bit, but it was still a bit liquid-y. She was scared of getting up and slipping on it, so being unable to walk was a nice thing. She crawled behind the island, laying her back against it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in.
It really, really hurt to do that. Breathing deeply hurt but breathing softly didn't give her enough oxygen, she felt constantly out of breath. She looked down at her stomach. It wasn't bleeding anymore. It was still very ugly, though. She grabbed another bandage and applied pressure back again. She wrapped the bandage around her abdomen, securing the chunk of gauze that was sticking inside of her body.
Her eyes started to water again, they hurt. It really burned. The worse pain she ever felt was now burning up her inside. She looked at the blood on the floor, maybe she bled out all the blood she had inside of her and only a small papercut would make her bleed out. Couldn't she have just waited to have been murdered or at least win to get proper treatment?
Tina was still out of commission. She camped the mess hall, hoping the terrorists would have some kind of empathy left inside of their body and won't dangerzone the place tomorrow. She might feel better tomorrow. The only thing she could do was to wait and to recover as much as she could. She drank out of her water bottle and ate a piece of bread. She looked at the camera.
She had to stop herself from sleeping. If she slept, she'd have the disgusting dream with her cousin or the pink sweater girl would get on top of her again. She hated these sex dreams, she hated them. She didn't even date anyone yet and she was having weird sex dreams with her cousin and this weirdo who always stab her after they finished their business. At least with the girl, it was less awkward to talk about, she just didn't need to mention the stabbing part but if she mentionned her sex dream with Daniel to anyone she was related with, she would just shoot herself.
She wondered about her family, in that exact moment. She realized it was better if she died. She was this weirdo, this black sheep, this outcast of her own family. Her own family looked at her with what seemed to be disgust. They didn't openly say it, it was all hidden. She was a weirdo, that was a fact. She didn't like school, she was high most of the time and she wasn't social. She didn't mind that, the fact they found her weird, it's how they treated her.
They ignored her. Everyone knew she ran away every night to sell weed, everyone knew she skipped class, everyone knew about her failling all of classes and cutting every classes she can, but they did nothing. They just eyed her, squinting at her behaviours and did nothing. All that bullshit about being there for their family members was bullshit, they didn't care about her. She was just another Luz, a Luz that wasn't the prettiest or the smartest.
Yet, she still loved them. She loved them more than she loved herself. That's why she wanted to die. If she died, she wouldn't hurt them. They would get pity, people would help them. She would die and they would live. They would be sad, obviously, but they have many daughters and cousins and aunts and sisters to replace her. They'll get use to the emptiness, even though it would hurt for a week or two.
If she was to win, that's where she wouldn't know what to do. She would go back to the real world. Even though her family welcomed her with open arms, she wouldn't go back. They didn't need her to leech them. She couldn't go to Daniel's because she would kill herself after her normal series of nightmare. She could keep dealing dope and find a small apartment to rent.
Yeah, that was nice. She could eat ramens, and make herself small meals and maybe even go to college. If she win, it would be the same thing as if she died. No matter what happen, Tina would be fine with it. Whether she lived or she died, she had a plan. A vague plan, an okay future laid in front of her. It was a better future she could have hoped before SOTF.
She didn't know if it was her guts or the girl over there, but it smelled like rotting meat. She ate some rotten chicken wings on, it was pretty disgusting. She wondered what would the girl taste. She was getting hungry. Her stomach with the hole in it was grumbling. Must be around noon, or later.
She was still weak, still shaking. She was still unable to stand. Maybe it was the blood loss, there was a lot of it on the floor. It made a pool around her and her legs were covered with it. It had dried up a bit, but it was still a bit liquid-y. She was scared of getting up and slipping on it, so being unable to walk was a nice thing. She crawled behind the island, laying her back against it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in.
It really, really hurt to do that. Breathing deeply hurt but breathing softly didn't give her enough oxygen, she felt constantly out of breath. She looked down at her stomach. It wasn't bleeding anymore. It was still very ugly, though. She grabbed another bandage and applied pressure back again. She wrapped the bandage around her abdomen, securing the chunk of gauze that was sticking inside of her body.
Her eyes started to water again, they hurt. It really burned. The worse pain she ever felt was now burning up her inside. She looked at the blood on the floor, maybe she bled out all the blood she had inside of her and only a small papercut would make her bleed out. Couldn't she have just waited to have been murdered or at least win to get proper treatment?
Tina was still out of commission. She camped the mess hall, hoping the terrorists would have some kind of empathy left inside of their body and won't dangerzone the place tomorrow. She might feel better tomorrow. The only thing she could do was to wait and to recover as much as she could. She drank out of her water bottle and ate a piece of bread. She looked at the camera.
She had to stop herself from sleeping. If she slept, she'd have the disgusting dream with her cousin or the pink sweater girl would get on top of her again. She hated these sex dreams, she hated them. She didn't even date anyone yet and she was having weird sex dreams with her cousin and this weirdo who always stab her after they finished their business. At least with the girl, it was less awkward to talk about, she just didn't need to mention the stabbing part but if she mentionned her sex dream with Daniel to anyone she was related with, she would just shoot herself.
She wondered about her family, in that exact moment. She realized it was better if she died. She was this weirdo, this black sheep, this outcast of her own family. Her own family looked at her with what seemed to be disgust. They didn't openly say it, it was all hidden. She was a weirdo, that was a fact. She didn't like school, she was high most of the time and she wasn't social. She didn't mind that, the fact they found her weird, it's how they treated her.
They ignored her. Everyone knew she ran away every night to sell weed, everyone knew she skipped class, everyone knew about her failling all of classes and cutting every classes she can, but they did nothing. They just eyed her, squinting at her behaviours and did nothing. All that bullshit about being there for their family members was bullshit, they didn't care about her. She was just another Luz, a Luz that wasn't the prettiest or the smartest.
Yet, she still loved them. She loved them more than she loved herself. That's why she wanted to die. If she died, she wouldn't hurt them. They would get pity, people would help them. She would die and they would live. They would be sad, obviously, but they have many daughters and cousins and aunts and sisters to replace her. They'll get use to the emptiness, even though it would hurt for a week or two.
If she was to win, that's where she wouldn't know what to do. She would go back to the real world. Even though her family welcomed her with open arms, she wouldn't go back. They didn't need her to leech them. She couldn't go to Daniel's because she would kill herself after her normal series of nightmare. She could keep dealing dope and find a small apartment to rent.
Yeah, that was nice. She could eat ramens, and make herself small meals and maybe even go to college. If she win, it would be the same thing as if she died. No matter what happen, Tina would be fine with it. Whether she lived or she died, she had a plan. A vague plan, an okay future laid in front of her. It was a better future she could have hoped before SOTF.
"Celine? Did you finish unpacking your stuff? We are getting some Chinese food, come downstairs!"
Celine sat on her bed. It wasn't done. It was bare, there were no sheets on it. Her room was filled with boxes, they laid around containing various things like clothes, beauty items and her computer.
Wait no, the computer was already set up. The cables neatly put together, connected to the wall. It was on her desk. The computer was open, and it was playing a video. Her sister, Florentina, was there. She laid on the floor, with blood oozing out of her stomach. People in the chat were making bets when would she die, others wanted her to live so they could cash in their bets. Celine just wanted Tina to stop suffering. She had a nightmare, or maybe three. She vaguely knew about them, she knew the fact that she had steamy dreams where she would die, but that was it.
On her phone, she was reading an interview. Daniel, trailer park boy, was talking to the press about Tina. He wasn't being very nice. She wondered if he did that for money. She found it weird, because it was exactly why the Luz left, they were harassed in their own home and they didn't want to be bothered.
They received constant calls and constant messages. They truly wanted to stay there for house Tina if she came back, but as they watched her descend into dark darkness they realized she wasn't what they think she was. Even if it was her body they came home, her spirit was changed forever.
Celine look at her computer again, it was still Tina. She has shown signs of getting better. People commented about her possible infection, either cursing or blessing the girl named KK. That girl wasn't even to blame, she was only there when Tina hurt herself, but people still either blamed her or praised her. Celine didn't really understand the viewers. A lot of them spoke strangely, she just hid the chat after a couple minutes of the broadcast.
"Celine?!"
Celine raised her head. No, her room wasn't done, and, no, she wasn't ready to act as if Tina had never existed. She needed to be there for her sister, at least in spirits of some kind. She answered her mom with a determined voice that came from her body.
"I'm coming. I'm just finishing something."
She grabbed the picture she was holding and kissed it. She hid in the crack in the wall and put plastic taps over the the crack. Tina was safe there. She survived the purge of her pictures, she still existed. Celine was glad, her sister would always be with her and she smiled. She closed the tab and headed downstairs.
Celine just wanted her sister to stop suffering.
Celine sat on her bed. It wasn't done. It was bare, there were no sheets on it. Her room was filled with boxes, they laid around containing various things like clothes, beauty items and her computer.
Wait no, the computer was already set up. The cables neatly put together, connected to the wall. It was on her desk. The computer was open, and it was playing a video. Her sister, Florentina, was there. She laid on the floor, with blood oozing out of her stomach. People in the chat were making bets when would she die, others wanted her to live so they could cash in their bets. Celine just wanted Tina to stop suffering. She had a nightmare, or maybe three. She vaguely knew about them, she knew the fact that she had steamy dreams where she would die, but that was it.
On her phone, she was reading an interview. Daniel, trailer park boy, was talking to the press about Tina. He wasn't being very nice. She wondered if he did that for money. She found it weird, because it was exactly why the Luz left, they were harassed in their own home and they didn't want to be bothered.
They received constant calls and constant messages. They truly wanted to stay there for house Tina if she came back, but as they watched her descend into dark darkness they realized she wasn't what they think she was. Even if it was her body they came home, her spirit was changed forever.
Celine look at her computer again, it was still Tina. She has shown signs of getting better. People commented about her possible infection, either cursing or blessing the girl named KK. That girl wasn't even to blame, she was only there when Tina hurt herself, but people still either blamed her or praised her. Celine didn't really understand the viewers. A lot of them spoke strangely, she just hid the chat after a couple minutes of the broadcast.
"Celine?!"
Celine raised her head. No, her room wasn't done, and, no, she wasn't ready to act as if Tina had never existed. She needed to be there for her sister, at least in spirits of some kind. She answered her mom with a determined voice that came from her body.
"I'm coming. I'm just finishing something."
She grabbed the picture she was holding and kissed it. She hid in the crack in the wall and put plastic taps over the the crack. Tina was safe there. She survived the purge of her pictures, she still existed. Celine was glad, her sister would always be with her and she smiled. She closed the tab and headed downstairs.
Celine just wanted her sister to stop suffering.
-
MurderWeasel
- Posts: 3432
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:56 am
- Team Affiliation: Jewel's Leviathans
Yeep, yeep, yeep.
Kya.
Kyaaaaa.
Yeep.
Kyakyakyakyakya.
Kya.
Kyaaaaa.
Yeep.
Kyakyakyakyakya.
The bird was cooing in front of her, taunting her with its wing and it's freedom. Its broken song made Tina angry, she raised her gun but couldn't press the trigger. It's not her morals that told her not to or her finger that stopped working, there was no triggers. She did the gesture again, pulling the invisible trigger, the gun didn't fire a bullet at the seagull with a bloody beak.
"Bitch."
For a second, she thought she said that but she looked up and it was the bird who croaked it out. It was her voice coming from the throat of McDonald's fries eater. Tina was understandably shaken by this. Since when bird insulted you in your own voice when you tried to shoot them, especially birds with human eyes and a bloody beak. She looked down at her leg, it was bleeding.
"You are that bird that bit me, like two days ago."
"Kinda."
"You either did it or you didn't, there's no in-between."
"You speak more in your dreams than in reality, that's cool. I got some questions to ask."
So that was dream, how long has she been sleeping? When did she snooze and closed her eyes? Probably recently.
Her guts were burning up and there was another bird, eating chunks of it on the floor. It was pecking it out of her stomach like a free buffet. She felt curious, not scared. She was dreaming, this wasn't real, there was nothing to be scared of.
The Tina-Bird-1 pulled out its human tongue and licked the blood of the Tina-Human on the floor. The two birds were snacking on her body, she didn't know how to feel about her other than disgust and a vague sensation of pain that slowly but surely became stronger and stronger. The bird raised its head and spoke to Tina, the Tina-Bird-2 eating chunks of her gut did the same and they both spoke in one voice,
"Florentina," the birds quietly told her, "you are dying."
"I already knew this," she answered casually. This was another fever dream, nothing to worry about.
"Then why aren't you dead?"
The birds answered at once then continued their feast. She tried to wave them away but they jab their beak inside of her and her guts started to swell. It was just a dream, nothing else than a dream. The TB2 plucked something out and chewed on it with its human teeth. It was eating chunks out of her guts, her skin, her body. The transformation from a normal bird to a human was happening, she noticed. The more they ate her, the more they became like her. She finally raised her left arm and grabbed TB2's neck. It bit her finger, so she bit it back.
TB1 looked shocked with its human eyes but then it smiled and continued licking the pool of blood with its greenish tongue that was slowly becoming pink. It was just a dream right? It wasn't support to hurt like this right?
She felt blood in her mouth, the blood of the bird seeping in her mouth. It was dripping down her chin and it felt like it was real. Tina tried to convince herself it wasn't, that it was just a dream but slowly it became more and more real. The pain felt real, the guts on the floor was hers and it wanted to be back inside of her.
TB1 continued to feast on Tina's legs. It bit, chewed, nibbled, and rip apart her muscles. She could see muscles, her bones, her whatever-thing-that-was inside of the bird's mouth. These things were supposed to be inside of her, not there. It shouldn't be laying there for anyone to see. The bird in her hand bit again, but she just dropped it, letting it go back at eating her infected guts.
She looked at them, she didn't know what to do. It was just a dream, why wouldn't she wake up? Was this dying? Maybe she died earlier, and her name was written in big red letters with deceased beside it and this was simply hell. The birds ate her, plucked her inside like she was a lobster.
She raised her head. She wasn't in the kitchen anymore. Her body wasn't her body anymore. She wasn't Tina anymore. Why did it hurt so much? Why did everything hurt so much? Why did she live just to be hurt again, and again, and again? She should just have killed herself when it all started. That would have been the right option, there was probably another world, somewhere where she shot herself. She wished she was that Tina. She wished she was dead.
The birds sharp beak and sharper teeth bring her back to what was her new reality. The hell she was in was probably only beginning. She was dead. That's it, she was already dead. Her whole body had stopped working and her brain was making false images to compensate. She just needed to wait until there would be no more oxygen and then she could really die. Go back to the void where she belong and to be never heard again, she wanted to be gone.
The only that stopped her from closing her eyes and letting go was the birds. They feast, they ate, they chewed, they jabbed. They did everything in their power to let her live. To keep her alive, but she wanted to die. She wanted those little things that were becoming like her to let her go. To die like she was supposed to early, without making it worse for her and everyone involved.
She should have listened to her small voice inside of her head to do the same where she did the last time she was in this situation. Let herself die, let herself be killed, let herself be forgotten. Being forgotten is better fate than pain. She wish the girl in pink would come back and kill her again. She hoped she would just die and the constant pain of being alive would go away.
Tina, as much as she was scared of dying, wanted to die more than anything else. It wasn't in a suicidal fit of rage, it was in a deliberate, cold move. Dying by your own hands meant dying by your own term, and dying early meant to die without suffering. She achieved one of the two the first time it happened to her, and this time she wasn't able to do any of them. She could still shoot herself but she couldn't in this dream of hers.
She looked down despite telling herself it was useless. She shouldn't have, she saw the floor and her bones, and some meat left hanging on them. The birds were now pitch black with shades of brown, their eyes were like Tina's and her teeth had the same crooked like hers. They smiled at her and she smiled back. She didn't know why she did that. These tiny Tina-Birds hurt her but she still smiled. She couldn't hate them, they were part of her. She couldn't hate herself, she couldn't let them be abandoned. She still loved them, they were just hungry.
It didn't stop the pain though. It was spreading across her body. TB2 was making a hole through her guts and it felt like she was being stab with a knife on fire every single time that it bit her. She decided to enjoy it. It needed to eat and Tina was the feeder. The birds were her and she needed to take care of them. Perhaps that was foolish, like inviting a kind vampire inside of your home but she wanted them, as a last wish, to be happy and to grow.
They didn't grow anymore, their last stage was this mix between Tina and a seagull. Brown and black seagulls, dark eyes, patchy teeth, injured bodies and, most importantly, broken mind. Maybe that's it. She was dead and that was supposed to be her hell. Yet she enjoyed it. It wasn't so bad, her body served an actual function, the pain and the blood and infection were still there but the birds' smiles were so pretty. They looked just like her.
TB1 and TB2 stopped eating her and flew away. They were kinda fat and strange looking, but she still loved them. She slowly drifted to sleep. Maybe that was real, maybe that was her death. The pain was still there, tugging at her brain to stay awake, not to give up but it was really hard to do so. She slowly lost touched with her body. That was weird until then she felt everything. Their little claws on her body, the beaks inside of her, the guts and muscles being plucked out, but right now she felt numb.
Vaguely, she heard footsteps. Maybe that was Death coming to meet her, she wondered if there was seagull where she was going.
"Bitch."
For a second, she thought she said that but she looked up and it was the bird who croaked it out. It was her voice coming from the throat of McDonald's fries eater. Tina was understandably shaken by this. Since when bird insulted you in your own voice when you tried to shoot them, especially birds with human eyes and a bloody beak. She looked down at her leg, it was bleeding.
"You are that bird that bit me, like two days ago."
"Kinda."
"You either did it or you didn't, there's no in-between."
"You speak more in your dreams than in reality, that's cool. I got some questions to ask."
So that was dream, how long has she been sleeping? When did she snooze and closed her eyes? Probably recently.
Her guts were burning up and there was another bird, eating chunks of it on the floor. It was pecking it out of her stomach like a free buffet. She felt curious, not scared. She was dreaming, this wasn't real, there was nothing to be scared of.
The Tina-Bird-1 pulled out its human tongue and licked the blood of the Tina-Human on the floor. The two birds were snacking on her body, she didn't know how to feel about her other than disgust and a vague sensation of pain that slowly but surely became stronger and stronger. The bird raised its head and spoke to Tina, the Tina-Bird-2 eating chunks of her gut did the same and they both spoke in one voice,
"Florentina," the birds quietly told her, "you are dying."
"I already knew this," she answered casually. This was another fever dream, nothing to worry about.
"Then why aren't you dead?"
The birds answered at once then continued their feast. She tried to wave them away but they jab their beak inside of her and her guts started to swell. It was just a dream, nothing else than a dream. The TB2 plucked something out and chewed on it with its human teeth. It was eating chunks out of her guts, her skin, her body. The transformation from a normal bird to a human was happening, she noticed. The more they ate her, the more they became like her. She finally raised her left arm and grabbed TB2's neck. It bit her finger, so she bit it back.
TB1 looked shocked with its human eyes but then it smiled and continued licking the pool of blood with its greenish tongue that was slowly becoming pink. It was just a dream right? It wasn't support to hurt like this right?
She felt blood in her mouth, the blood of the bird seeping in her mouth. It was dripping down her chin and it felt like it was real. Tina tried to convince herself it wasn't, that it was just a dream but slowly it became more and more real. The pain felt real, the guts on the floor was hers and it wanted to be back inside of her.
TB1 continued to feast on Tina's legs. It bit, chewed, nibbled, and rip apart her muscles. She could see muscles, her bones, her whatever-thing-that-was inside of the bird's mouth. These things were supposed to be inside of her, not there. It shouldn't be laying there for anyone to see. The bird in her hand bit again, but she just dropped it, letting it go back at eating her infected guts.
She looked at them, she didn't know what to do. It was just a dream, why wouldn't she wake up? Was this dying? Maybe she died earlier, and her name was written in big red letters with deceased beside it and this was simply hell. The birds ate her, plucked her inside like she was a lobster.
She raised her head. She wasn't in the kitchen anymore. Her body wasn't her body anymore. She wasn't Tina anymore. Why did it hurt so much? Why did everything hurt so much? Why did she live just to be hurt again, and again, and again? She should just have killed herself when it all started. That would have been the right option, there was probably another world, somewhere where she shot herself. She wished she was that Tina. She wished she was dead.
The birds sharp beak and sharper teeth bring her back to what was her new reality. The hell she was in was probably only beginning. She was dead. That's it, she was already dead. Her whole body had stopped working and her brain was making false images to compensate. She just needed to wait until there would be no more oxygen and then she could really die. Go back to the void where she belong and to be never heard again, she wanted to be gone.
The only that stopped her from closing her eyes and letting go was the birds. They feast, they ate, they chewed, they jabbed. They did everything in their power to let her live. To keep her alive, but she wanted to die. She wanted those little things that were becoming like her to let her go. To die like she was supposed to early, without making it worse for her and everyone involved.
She should have listened to her small voice inside of her head to do the same where she did the last time she was in this situation. Let herself die, let herself be killed, let herself be forgotten. Being forgotten is better fate than pain. She wish the girl in pink would come back and kill her again. She hoped she would just die and the constant pain of being alive would go away.
Tina, as much as she was scared of dying, wanted to die more than anything else. It wasn't in a suicidal fit of rage, it was in a deliberate, cold move. Dying by your own hands meant dying by your own term, and dying early meant to die without suffering. She achieved one of the two the first time it happened to her, and this time she wasn't able to do any of them. She could still shoot herself but she couldn't in this dream of hers.
She looked down despite telling herself it was useless. She shouldn't have, she saw the floor and her bones, and some meat left hanging on them. The birds were now pitch black with shades of brown, their eyes were like Tina's and her teeth had the same crooked like hers. They smiled at her and she smiled back. She didn't know why she did that. These tiny Tina-Birds hurt her but she still smiled. She couldn't hate them, they were part of her. She couldn't hate herself, she couldn't let them be abandoned. She still loved them, they were just hungry.
It didn't stop the pain though. It was spreading across her body. TB2 was making a hole through her guts and it felt like she was being stab with a knife on fire every single time that it bit her. She decided to enjoy it. It needed to eat and Tina was the feeder. The birds were her and she needed to take care of them. Perhaps that was foolish, like inviting a kind vampire inside of your home but she wanted them, as a last wish, to be happy and to grow.
They didn't grow anymore, their last stage was this mix between Tina and a seagull. Brown and black seagulls, dark eyes, patchy teeth, injured bodies and, most importantly, broken mind. Maybe that's it. She was dead and that was supposed to be her hell. Yet she enjoyed it. It wasn't so bad, her body served an actual function, the pain and the blood and infection were still there but the birds' smiles were so pretty. They looked just like her.
TB1 and TB2 stopped eating her and flew away. They were kinda fat and strange looking, but she still loved them. She slowly drifted to sleep. Maybe that was real, maybe that was her death. The pain was still there, tugging at her brain to stay awake, not to give up but it was really hard to do so. She slowly lost touched with her body. That was weird until then she felt everything. Their little claws on her body, the beaks inside of her, the guts and muscles being plucked out, but right now she felt numb.
Vaguely, she heard footsteps. Maybe that was Death coming to meet her, she wondered if there was seagull where she was going.
((Continued))
She had never been here before.
It was a new location but like everywhere else it showed the scarring of the events that played out. The darkness surrounded it, making it an island unto itself. She pushed the doors open and stepped inside. It was the same as the exterior bar the smell that permeated it. Something had died inside. It wasn't an important detail but it was still there. She could see the shape of it in the darkness. As she stepped through the darkened interior and descended further into the guts of the building she heard a shuffling and a low breathing. An orphan was dwelling in the darkness cut off from the rest of what they knew as their world.
There was a person sprawled across the floor. A broken doll showing signs of misuse. Carefully she sat upon one of the tables and observed them for a while. The girl seemed to be asleep or doing the best impression of it she could in her state. Her heart and soul was pouring out onto the floor around her. She stayed sitting and watching for a time. There was no other movement and nothing dwelling within the shadows. The girl had been alone with only herself for company.
The blood crept and stretched further out across the floor in an attempt to find its own sense of freedom. From where she was perched she merely watched, until eventually, she began to tap on the tabletop.
She had never been here before.
It was a new location but like everywhere else it showed the scarring of the events that played out. The darkness surrounded it, making it an island unto itself. She pushed the doors open and stepped inside. It was the same as the exterior bar the smell that permeated it. Something had died inside. It wasn't an important detail but it was still there. She could see the shape of it in the darkness. As she stepped through the darkened interior and descended further into the guts of the building she heard a shuffling and a low breathing. An orphan was dwelling in the darkness cut off from the rest of what they knew as their world.
There was a person sprawled across the floor. A broken doll showing signs of misuse. Carefully she sat upon one of the tables and observed them for a while. The girl seemed to be asleep or doing the best impression of it she could in her state. Her heart and soul was pouring out onto the floor around her. She stayed sitting and watching for a time. There was no other movement and nothing dwelling within the shadows. The girl had been alone with only herself for company.
The blood crept and stretched further out across the floor in an attempt to find its own sense of freedom. From where she was perched she merely watched, until eventually, she began to tap on the tabletop.
Someone was knocking at the door. Why was someone knocking at the door at this ungodly hour? If she had been in another room, she would have seen the clocks had no hands, that the sky was permanently frozen over something obscuring the full moon, that the air felt stagnant and oppressive but she was in her room. There was nothing to indicating anything, she was lost in a dream world she created out of her feverish need of comfort.
Comfort? Maybe it was torture, but whatever thing that was happening gave her content to think about, to reflect upon. Tina rose from her bed. She wasn't wearing pants. If she had been aware she was sleeping, she would have thought, "Is this a new sex dream? Who am I going to bang now?" However, for the best or for the worst, she wasn't aware of anything. She was in her pajamas, her shirt was comfy and she didn't wear pants due to the oppressive heat.
She felt like someone was sitting on her chest. She blamed it on the air and walked to the door. It knocked again. Tina opened the door to see Celine. Why was she up so late slash early? She vaguely know it was a hour that normal Celine would never be awake, she needed her ten hours of rest. Tina puzzled, asked nothing so the girl in front of her, which she would never call her sister at this point, spoke.
"Hey, Tina."
Quiet muffling, it sounded like a foreign language. Tina tried to speak but she could only make choking noises. She started to panic then the whole surrealism of the situation started to settle. This wasn't real. The pieces of the dream started to shatter like a broken mirror but Celine held Tina's face kindly despite the world crashing down around them.
"You've got to wake up."
She jolted awake. It was dark. Another dream or this time was really dead? She couldn't be sure. She looked down, her body still hurt and the floor was still covered with her blood. In one hand she had a piece of bandages, ripped out and in the other her gun, she wondered why. Was this a suicide attempt she didn't remember? Maybe she fell asleep midway changing it but maybe she was about to shoot herself but a coma stopped her. Anyways, there was still something going on so Tina's story wasn't ended.
She wasn't alone, she heard the breathing of someone. She raised her as she propped herself against the kitchen counter. She looked at the figure in the darkness for a phew second then grabbed a new bandage and applied pressure to her stomach again. She was shaking less. She didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing, she just felt weak and tired. The figure slowly changed. Her eyes were adapting to the darkness, and she started to see human features. Her voice spoke without Tina meaning to say anything.
"Are you real?"
Comfort? Maybe it was torture, but whatever thing that was happening gave her content to think about, to reflect upon. Tina rose from her bed. She wasn't wearing pants. If she had been aware she was sleeping, she would have thought, "Is this a new sex dream? Who am I going to bang now?" However, for the best or for the worst, she wasn't aware of anything. She was in her pajamas, her shirt was comfy and she didn't wear pants due to the oppressive heat.
She felt like someone was sitting on her chest. She blamed it on the air and walked to the door. It knocked again. Tina opened the door to see Celine. Why was she up so late slash early? She vaguely know it was a hour that normal Celine would never be awake, she needed her ten hours of rest. Tina puzzled, asked nothing so the girl in front of her, which she would never call her sister at this point, spoke.
"Hey, Tina."
Quiet muffling, it sounded like a foreign language. Tina tried to speak but she could only make choking noises. She started to panic then the whole surrealism of the situation started to settle. This wasn't real. The pieces of the dream started to shatter like a broken mirror but Celine held Tina's face kindly despite the world crashing down around them.
"You've got to wake up."
She jolted awake. It was dark. Another dream or this time was really dead? She couldn't be sure. She looked down, her body still hurt and the floor was still covered with her blood. In one hand she had a piece of bandages, ripped out and in the other her gun, she wondered why. Was this a suicide attempt she didn't remember? Maybe she fell asleep midway changing it but maybe she was about to shoot herself but a coma stopped her. Anyways, there was still something going on so Tina's story wasn't ended.
She wasn't alone, she heard the breathing of someone. She raised her as she propped herself against the kitchen counter. She looked at the figure in the darkness for a phew second then grabbed a new bandage and applied pressure to her stomach again. She was shaking less. She didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing, she just felt weak and tired. The figure slowly changed. Her eyes were adapting to the darkness, and she started to see human features. Her voice spoke without Tina meaning to say anything.
"Are you real?"
The question crept out of the darkness. It was weak, unsure. The girl held a bandage to her stomach in a futile effort to stem the flow. Her life was slowly seeping away and covering the floor. It created a layer on the floor, almost artistic in its swirls and pools. A coastline of tile slowly being eaten away by a dark red sea. She didn't know how much time the girl had but the knocking on the windows led her to believe it wasn't long. The afterlife was hungry after all.
As for the question, she spent some time considering her response. There were many options, not all of time comforting nor hopeful. Hope had run away anyway. If there had been hope it had left long ago, departed to another island on another world. Maybe it would return later and see just what it had left behind. Belief was gone and it was for the better. There was nothing more to be offered and doing so would have been disingenuous. They were left with themselves alone with their true nature and the memory of what they used to be.
From where she was sitting on the table she raised her legs up and crossed them under her body.
"Are any of us?"
As for the question, she spent some time considering her response. There were many options, not all of time comforting nor hopeful. Hope had run away anyway. If there had been hope it had left long ago, departed to another island on another world. Maybe it would return later and see just what it had left behind. Belief was gone and it was for the better. There was nothing more to be offered and doing so would have been disingenuous. They were left with themselves alone with their true nature and the memory of what they used to be.
From where she was sitting on the table she raised her legs up and crossed them under her body.
"Are any of us?"
''You aren't helping."
Was she dreaming? She couldn't be sure. It didn't feel real but none of this day felt real, all of it felt like she was repeating the day over and over with new tortures to keep her entertained. The girl wasn't helping, she wanted to know if it was important. In a dream, it didn't matter what she did. She was guided, forced to do things against her will, she was only a witness of her own mind torturing her. At least in the real world she could fight it, she could scream and shouts and kick and punch.
The pool of blood around her felt like it was shallowing her. Was she going to drown in her own blood, in this scarlet liquid that was her own? Perhaps, she was covered in it. Her body was stained in it, she became one with the liquid, her source of life that should had been inside of her body. She felt weak, she felt hurt, she felt in pain but she didn't feel bad.
That was probably the blood loss, the slow dripping probably caused that. She felt like she was dying but she didn't feel like it was a bad thing. She didn't understand why she felt like that, her struggle on the island said otherwise about it. She had a craving for life, but also for freedom. Death was freedom in a twisted way, she would be free from her body.
The girl was crossing her legs. Tina couldn't look at hers. She didn't want to. They felt empty. She knew if she stood on them, they would snap in half and she didn't want to test it by moving them. She closed her eyes again, feeling her chest raising and lowering slowly. She just wanted to know that, if she closed her eyes, she wouldn't have another fever dream.
"Is this a dream?"
Was she dreaming? She couldn't be sure. It didn't feel real but none of this day felt real, all of it felt like she was repeating the day over and over with new tortures to keep her entertained. The girl wasn't helping, she wanted to know if it was important. In a dream, it didn't matter what she did. She was guided, forced to do things against her will, she was only a witness of her own mind torturing her. At least in the real world she could fight it, she could scream and shouts and kick and punch.
The pool of blood around her felt like it was shallowing her. Was she going to drown in her own blood, in this scarlet liquid that was her own? Perhaps, she was covered in it. Her body was stained in it, she became one with the liquid, her source of life that should had been inside of her body. She felt weak, she felt hurt, she felt in pain but she didn't feel bad.
That was probably the blood loss, the slow dripping probably caused that. She felt like she was dying but she didn't feel like it was a bad thing. She didn't understand why she felt like that, her struggle on the island said otherwise about it. She had a craving for life, but also for freedom. Death was freedom in a twisted way, she would be free from her body.
The girl was crossing her legs. Tina couldn't look at hers. She didn't want to. They felt empty. She knew if she stood on them, they would snap in half and she didn't want to test it by moving them. She closed her eyes again, feeling her chest raising and lowering slowly. She just wanted to know that, if she closed her eyes, she wouldn't have another fever dream.
"Is this a dream?"
She shook her head in response to the question.
"Not yet."
The place they were trapped in may have been everything and nothing but it was more than a dream. It was both darker and brighter than that while being more complex and simpler as well.
In short, they were alive, physically, until they weren't.
They would see no more of the world besides the one they had created on the island. Everything building up to the one climatic instance of silence when there was one left. Then it would all be over. Just like reaching the end like a TV show. Fading to black never to return. No memory beyond the paltry few who knew and watched but even then they would be gone.
"But it will be one day."
"Not yet."
The place they were trapped in may have been everything and nothing but it was more than a dream. It was both darker and brighter than that while being more complex and simpler as well.
In short, they were alive, physically, until they weren't.
They would see no more of the world besides the one they had created on the island. Everything building up to the one climatic instance of silence when there was one left. Then it would all be over. Just like reaching the end like a TV show. Fading to black never to return. No memory beyond the paltry few who knew and watched but even then they would be gone.
"But it will be one day."
Okay. This wasn't a dream, at least based on the voice of the girl over there. She closed her eyes and whispered to the girl in her newly acquired choked voice:
"I hope you don't mind sleeping next to a dying girl."
That's it, she had say it. That's the last words she ever wanted to say. Nothing about her family, nothing about her friends, nothing about anyone else. Just informing that girl beside her that Tina will not wake up next time the girl would open her eyes. That is if she went to sleep right there, but she assumed it was late and that the girl didn't want to wander around at this time.
They weren't a lot left, and Tina had be a goner for a while. Exposure, blood loss, and infection were slowly eating up her body. She knew vaguely she was dying, she realized how animals felt before dying. They just curled up in a corner, hoping their injuries would magically heal themselves up. They would close their eyes, not knowing what death felt like, and assume they would wake up some time after without any pain or injuries.
Tina felt like that. She knew she would wake up soon. She would live again like a pheonix. Her eyelids fluttered opened and shut. They didn't know where to settle, where they should be. Tina forced them shut, she didn't want them open. She didn't want to look at her emptying body anymore. The fever was at an all-time high, it felt like she was on fire. At the same time, the cold sweat contrasted her burning body, it felt like someone threw ice on her and fusionned with her body. She tried not to cry, but she still wept some tears as they fell on her body.
She wanted to live so badly, she wanted to stop being a loser, but that was what she is. She was a nobody, and she would die a nobody. No-one would ever remember her, and her tears meant that. She painfully realized that she was really dying, and it wasn't an odd fantasy. The world felt so far away even though she felt the cold floor. It felt like she was floating, her body's atoms slowly but surely separating and going through a black hole. The spaghettification made her feel so weird, but comforted. Her body slowly came back to where it belonged and it felt good.
And then, it faded to black.
Credits:
Written by Lolo
Acting by Tina Luz
Soundtrack by various artists stolen from the Internet
And most importantly, you.
Tina stormed the office. She held a piece of paper in her shaking hands.
"That's how you are killing me?"
Lolo raised her head from the box she was filling. She cocked her head to the side, and answered the angry actor in front of her.
"It's not... really killing you. It's an open ending."
Tina slammed her fist on the desk. It was an closed ending. Tina was dead, and she would be gone forever.
"That's not fair, we talked about what we would do! What about Abby? Is she aware of this?"
"She's been informed."
"So that's it. That's how I leave? I get my paycheck and that's it? There's nothing more for me?"
Lolo set the box aside. It was filled with scripts and pictures. She had been looking forward other projects, she knew Tina wouldn't last forever.
"I get it that you are mad, but I don't get a choice in this matter. It's randomized, if it was me I would have made you win but it's... not fair, you see?"
"It's fucking dumb."
"Kinda"
Tina sighed.
"What am I going to do?"
Lolo reached out in her box, getting a piece of paper. A couple of lines were written and notes were taken around, she put it in front of Tina's face.
"This could interest you."
Tina wasn't in her home. She wasn't in her house either. She was somewhere else. She heard crying and she walked toward that noise. The weeping came from a room she had never seen before. Inside, however, she saw someone she knew.
"Celine?"
Her sister raised her head, her eyes fell on Tina's body. It didn't look like it used to be. She looked like less bloody and less dead. She looked around in her room, Celine searched for clues. The cat with a clock inside of it was ticking but hands weren't there, the sky had a sun but no blue sky and she felt dizzy as if the world was spinning. Was this a dream?
"Tina, please. Go away."
Celine's cries became stronger. A small pool started to surround her, but Tina kept walking toward her sister.
"Please, just go."
Tina stood right beside and wrapped her arms around her sister. She felt so tiny, so weak, so alive. Tina must have been dead for a while, she felt a strength she never knew she had. She was curious at first but then she felt horrible. Tears started flowing her eyes and she squeezed her sister.
"I'm so sorry sis, I wish I could have won, I wish I could have been better.".
"I wished I could have stopped you, held you down and stop you from taking that bus, it's my fault if you are dead."
They cried with their own guilt and the guilt of the other combining in one sad mess of a person. The sisters hugged and cried, then Celine stopped, suddenly. Tina looked down, she realized she wasn't touching the floor anymore.
"Please stay here until I wake up, okay? Please don't go, I'm so scared."
Tina smiled, squeezing her sister's shoulders.
"I should be the one saying that."
Then, during the night, or the morning, or even before that, Tina's breath stopped. Her chest stopped moving, her arm stopped holding her wound. She died as she lived: quietly. But not only that, she was smiling. She was happy, her pain had stopped and she was now somewhere better, and it wouldn't happen to her again.
Florentina Luz kept visiting her sister in her dreams, forever and ever.
"That's better," she thought to herself with a smile as she bowed in front of the audience.
"I hope you don't mind sleeping next to a dying girl."
That's it, she had say it. That's the last words she ever wanted to say. Nothing about her family, nothing about her friends, nothing about anyone else. Just informing that girl beside her that Tina will not wake up next time the girl would open her eyes. That is if she went to sleep right there, but she assumed it was late and that the girl didn't want to wander around at this time.
They weren't a lot left, and Tina had be a goner for a while. Exposure, blood loss, and infection were slowly eating up her body. She knew vaguely she was dying, she realized how animals felt before dying. They just curled up in a corner, hoping their injuries would magically heal themselves up. They would close their eyes, not knowing what death felt like, and assume they would wake up some time after without any pain or injuries.
Tina felt like that. She knew she would wake up soon. She would live again like a pheonix. Her eyelids fluttered opened and shut. They didn't know where to settle, where they should be. Tina forced them shut, she didn't want them open. She didn't want to look at her emptying body anymore. The fever was at an all-time high, it felt like she was on fire. At the same time, the cold sweat contrasted her burning body, it felt like someone threw ice on her and fusionned with her body. She tried not to cry, but she still wept some tears as they fell on her body.
She wanted to live so badly, she wanted to stop being a loser, but that was what she is. She was a nobody, and she would die a nobody. No-one would ever remember her, and her tears meant that. She painfully realized that she was really dying, and it wasn't an odd fantasy. The world felt so far away even though she felt the cold floor. It felt like she was floating, her body's atoms slowly but surely separating and going through a black hole. The spaghettification made her feel so weird, but comforted. Her body slowly came back to where it belonged and it felt good.
And then, it faded to black.
Credits:
Written by Lolo
Acting by Tina Luz
Soundtrack by various artists stolen from the Internet
And most importantly, you.
Tina stormed the office. She held a piece of paper in her shaking hands.
"That's how you are killing me?"
Lolo raised her head from the box she was filling. She cocked her head to the side, and answered the angry actor in front of her.
"It's not... really killing you. It's an open ending."
Tina slammed her fist on the desk. It was an closed ending. Tina was dead, and she would be gone forever.
"That's not fair, we talked about what we would do! What about Abby? Is she aware of this?"
"She's been informed."
"So that's it. That's how I leave? I get my paycheck and that's it? There's nothing more for me?"
Lolo set the box aside. It was filled with scripts and pictures. She had been looking forward other projects, she knew Tina wouldn't last forever.
"I get it that you are mad, but I don't get a choice in this matter. It's randomized, if it was me I would have made you win but it's... not fair, you see?"
"It's fucking dumb."
"Kinda"
Tina sighed.
"What am I going to do?"
Lolo reached out in her box, getting a piece of paper. A couple of lines were written and notes were taken around, she put it in front of Tina's face.
"This could interest you."
Tina wasn't in her home. She wasn't in her house either. She was somewhere else. She heard crying and she walked toward that noise. The weeping came from a room she had never seen before. Inside, however, she saw someone she knew.
"Celine?"
Her sister raised her head, her eyes fell on Tina's body. It didn't look like it used to be. She looked like less bloody and less dead. She looked around in her room, Celine searched for clues. The cat with a clock inside of it was ticking but hands weren't there, the sky had a sun but no blue sky and she felt dizzy as if the world was spinning. Was this a dream?
"Tina, please. Go away."
Celine's cries became stronger. A small pool started to surround her, but Tina kept walking toward her sister.
"Please, just go."
Tina stood right beside and wrapped her arms around her sister. She felt so tiny, so weak, so alive. Tina must have been dead for a while, she felt a strength she never knew she had. She was curious at first but then she felt horrible. Tears started flowing her eyes and she squeezed her sister.
"I'm so sorry sis, I wish I could have won, I wish I could have been better.".
"I wished I could have stopped you, held you down and stop you from taking that bus, it's my fault if you are dead."
They cried with their own guilt and the guilt of the other combining in one sad mess of a person. The sisters hugged and cried, then Celine stopped, suddenly. Tina looked down, she realized she wasn't touching the floor anymore.
"Please stay here until I wake up, okay? Please don't go, I'm so scared."
Tina smiled, squeezing her sister's shoulders.
"I should be the one saying that."
Then, during the night, or the morning, or even before that, Tina's breath stopped. Her chest stopped moving, her arm stopped holding her wound. She died as she lived: quietly. But not only that, she was smiling. She was happy, her pain had stopped and she was now somewhere better, and it wouldn't happen to her again.
Florentina Luz kept visiting her sister in her dreams, forever and ever.
"That's better," she thought to herself with a smile as she bowed in front of the audience.