ES10: AKENO KUDO CONTINUED FROM If You're Afraid, it's Okay. Everyone's Scared
Akeno threw the spare bag she’d picked up into the water. It landed with a splash and floated, not being heavy enough to sink by itself, but quickly became so sodden with salt water that anyone who wanted to fish it out would likely find everything inside useless anyway. That was good enough.
Everything of worth had been removed from it already, most of the food and the bottles of water and the harpoons, and placed in her own bag; the rest of it was just clothing that didn’t fit her and some supplies that had past their expiry date. The only valuable thing left in it was the first aid kit, but she already had a full one in her bag and carrying two would add more weight to what she was carrying than it was worth. She’d never needed to use it, thankfully; aside from a few bruises and a split lip she’d avoided injury so far, despite everything that had happened. Most of the blood on her clothes wasn’t her own.
Someone else might have had a use for it though, so into the ocean it went. Better to deny the rest of the contestants any resources she could at this point; you never knew when that kind of thing could make a difference.
Akeno sighed; the sound of it long, slow and tired.
It wouldn’t make a difference, but she was willing to do anything she could to better her chances. Anything at all.
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The Honeless Beard
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Ivan blinked, and suddenly Akeno was here, more evidence of how fucked he was. He was losing gaps of time, travel becoming harder and harder to figure out. Maybe that's why his body kept coming back to the Jetties - somewhere safe, well traveled, somewhere he knew how to move across without thinking too hard.
That, and the fact that it was just a bunch of boards nailed to fucking boats.
Ivan tugged lightly at his collar. He remembered the sound of a warning beep, but everything was so... muted. Colourless. He knew he swayed when he walked and his breath came out in this rasping, heaving puffs. His shoulder hurt - bronze gauze against dark skin without a shirt to act as buffer - and his feet hurt from the abuse they'd suffered, but both of those pains felt like centering points to anchor him as he became more and more unmoored.
Ivan hated when he was aware of how fucked he was. He much preferred to do things.
Akeno was here, suddenly, as soon as Ivan blinked.
"Hey," he croaked, lips twisting upwards. He didn't look healthy, a person stitched together. "long time no see."
10ga was at Ivan's side, loosely held in both hands. He couldn't remember if he reloaded.
That, and the fact that it was just a bunch of boards nailed to fucking boats.
Ivan tugged lightly at his collar. He remembered the sound of a warning beep, but everything was so... muted. Colourless. He knew he swayed when he walked and his breath came out in this rasping, heaving puffs. His shoulder hurt - bronze gauze against dark skin without a shirt to act as buffer - and his feet hurt from the abuse they'd suffered, but both of those pains felt like centering points to anchor him as he became more and more unmoored.
Ivan hated when he was aware of how fucked he was. He much preferred to do things.
Akeno was here, suddenly, as soon as Ivan blinked.
"Hey," he croaked, lips twisting upwards. He didn't look healthy, a person stitched together. "long time no see."
10ga was at Ivan's side, loosely held in both hands. He couldn't remember if he reloaded.
Akeno was looking at another corpse.
Ivan wasn’t dead yet, technically; he was still walking and talking for a given definition of each, but he didn’t look much better than the bodies she had seen so far. Maybe worse, in some cases; those people had gotten hurt, laid down and died. Ivan had gotten hurt and kept going, got hurt some more and kept going some more, refusing to stop no how badly injured he was, passing the point where a regular person should have stopped. The result was gruesome.
Had he looked this bad the last time she had seen him, back on the yacht? No, he hadn’t. Ivan had been bad back then but it looked like he hadn’t done enough to treat his wounds, if he’d done anything at all, and he’d gotten hurt again since.
Even so, he had managed to kill three of Fisk’s crew in between then and now. Half dead didn’t mean he wasn’t dangerous.
“Yeah. You’ve been busy… only two left now, right?”
Ivan wasn’t dead yet, technically; he was still walking and talking for a given definition of each, but he didn’t look much better than the bodies she had seen so far. Maybe worse, in some cases; those people had gotten hurt, laid down and died. Ivan had gotten hurt and kept going, got hurt some more and kept going some more, refusing to stop no how badly injured he was, passing the point where a regular person should have stopped. The result was gruesome.
Had he looked this bad the last time she had seen him, back on the yacht? No, he hadn’t. Ivan had been bad back then but it looked like he hadn’t done enough to treat his wounds, if he’d done anything at all, and he’d gotten hurt again since.
Even so, he had managed to kill three of Fisk’s crew in between then and now. Half dead didn’t mean he wasn’t dangerous.
“Yeah. You’ve been busy… only two left now, right?”
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The Honeless Beard
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"Two, then one," Ivan nearly sang, voice like broken glass, "dot-dot-dash."
He frowned down at 10ga, cocked his head wildly to the side, slowly smiled at her. Looked back at Akeno, and sobered considerably.
"I'm not going to make it," he said, voice flat, "and Emmy wants me to. You - are you - do you want to make it?"
He could picture Fisk in his mind, but Ivan was having trouble grasping onto the second. Akeno seemed to know the second, but Ivan - that was wrong, wasn't it? She wasn't there when he'd - decided.
He frowned down at 10ga, cocked his head wildly to the side, slowly smiled at her. Looked back at Akeno, and sobered considerably.
"I'm not going to make it," he said, voice flat, "and Emmy wants me to. You - are you - do you want to make it?"
He could picture Fisk in his mind, but Ivan was having trouble grasping onto the second. Akeno seemed to know the second, but Ivan - that was wrong, wasn't it? She wasn't there when he'd - decided.
“I’m making it.”
Yes, she absolutely wanted to make it out of this; that was what she had worked towards from the start. For herself, as Emmy’s wants had never been a part of her consideration; though Akeno would definitely look her up after this was over if she could, to thank her for the support she’d given. It had helped.
Two and one though? Counting everyone she had seen at the ferry, there should only be two people left; Verity and Fisk himself.
“Who’s the other one? Who else do you want to kill?”
Yes, she absolutely wanted to make it out of this; that was what she had worked towards from the start. For herself, as Emmy’s wants had never been a part of her consideration; though Akeno would definitely look her up after this was over if she could, to thank her for the support she’d given. It had helped.
Two and one though? Counting everyone she had seen at the ferry, there should only be two people left; Verity and Fisk himself.
“Who’s the other one? Who else do you want to kill?”
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The Honeless Beard
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Ivan cocked a head, the smile returning, showing the gaps where Vasily had knocked out, taken his teeth. He tsk'd, 10ga shifting to point down at the wood beneath his bare feet, his shoulders rolling idly.
"I didn't like spoiler threads," Ivan said, "when I watched. I'd always avoid them because I preferred to guess. I was rarely... wrong."
His voice croaked, cracked like a rope bridge across cliffs, the sentence losing steam as it continued. He could picture an Ivan five days ago, sitting on Discord and feeling so fucking full of himself.
"Not you," You're making it. You're gonna make it. Ivan pictured Akeno, exhaling against a window of a helicopter, heading away from the flotilla.
Something bloomed in him.
"Uh," he said, scratching at his neck, "okay. I'm, uh, held together with scotch tape. But if you- if there's a chance that someone," on Emmy's team, "can make it, I'd-I'd-I'd be interested."
"I didn't like spoiler threads," Ivan said, "when I watched. I'd always avoid them because I preferred to guess. I was rarely... wrong."
His voice croaked, cracked like a rope bridge across cliffs, the sentence losing steam as it continued. He could picture an Ivan five days ago, sitting on Discord and feeling so fucking full of himself.
"Not you," You're making it. You're gonna make it. Ivan pictured Akeno, exhaling against a window of a helicopter, heading away from the flotilla.
Something bloomed in him.
"Uh," he said, scratching at his neck, "okay. I'm, uh, held together with scotch tape. But if you- if there's a chance that someone," on Emmy's team, "can make it, I'd-I'd-I'd be interested."
That wasn’t an answer. Akeno didn’t know what it was, just that it wasn’t… coherent.
She leaned away from him when he smiled, even more so when he moved the shotgun, shifting her weight to her back foot unconsciously. Her harpoon gun wasn’t in her hand; she’d left it on the ground.
Even just from this short interaction, it was clear that there was something off about Ivan now; he was rambling, unfocused, jumping tracks from one train of thought to another at the drop of a hat and she was pretty sure he’d been smiling at his shotgun like it was an old friend a moment ago. Maybe he’d been like this before as well and she just hadn’t noticed because she wasn’t really paying attention to him at the time. Maybe all the damage he had taken up to this point knocked something loose mentally as well as physically.
But it sounded like he was offering to help her. It sounded like he wanted to help her survive.
“What do you want Ivan?”
She leaned away from him when he smiled, even more so when he moved the shotgun, shifting her weight to her back foot unconsciously. Her harpoon gun wasn’t in her hand; she’d left it on the ground.
Even just from this short interaction, it was clear that there was something off about Ivan now; he was rambling, unfocused, jumping tracks from one train of thought to another at the drop of a hat and she was pretty sure he’d been smiling at his shotgun like it was an old friend a moment ago. Maybe he’d been like this before as well and she just hadn’t noticed because she wasn’t really paying attention to him at the time. Maybe all the damage he had taken up to this point knocked something loose mentally as well as physically.
But it sounded like he was offering to help her. It sounded like he wanted to help her survive.
“What do you want Ivan?”
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The Honeless Beard
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"To be empty," was his response. The disease in his brain wormed deeper, making his fingers flex. Ivan focused back in, frowning at Akeno.
Her want was so much clearer than his, a beacon of simplicity. His want was full of faces - two then one, dot dot dash - of items like his (Rhonda's) medkit. Akeno wasn't Rhonda - not at all - but then, maybe that was good. Rhonda had died.
"Okay," Ivan said, breathing deep, exhaling, synapses in his brain stuttering, hacking, turning over, "okay. Here's what I want.
"I want to help you. I want to be a good teammate. I want to make this easier for," he gestured to his collar, "and I want Fisk dead."
Her want was so much clearer than his, a beacon of simplicity. His want was full of faces - two then one, dot dot dash - of items like his (Rhonda's) medkit. Akeno wasn't Rhonda - not at all - but then, maybe that was good. Rhonda had died.
"Okay," Ivan said, breathing deep, exhaling, synapses in his brain stuttering, hacking, turning over, "okay. Here's what I want.
"I want to help you. I want to be a good teammate. I want to make this easier for," he gestured to his collar, "and I want Fisk dead."
Okay.
“Okay.”
That was all simple enough. She could work with that.
Ivan wanted revenge on the people who hurt him, of which it seemed Fisk was the only one left. He wanted things to be easier for Emmy, because he was dying and that meant something to the both of them; there was a connection between those two that she still didn’t know about, but that was fine. He wanted to help her and be a good teammate, because it was what Emmy wanted? Because he needed help killing Fisk? Or just because it felt like the right thing to do with his dying breaths?
It didn’t matter; Akeno could work out the specifics later. Whatever Ivan's reasons were she could work with them; work with him.
Use him.
“Okay, then let’s team up. Help me survive and I’ll help you get all of that; be a good teammate and we’ll kill Fisk together. Help me… and Emmy won’t have to watch all of us die.”
“Okay.”
That was all simple enough. She could work with that.
Ivan wanted revenge on the people who hurt him, of which it seemed Fisk was the only one left. He wanted things to be easier for Emmy, because he was dying and that meant something to the both of them; there was a connection between those two that she still didn’t know about, but that was fine. He wanted to help her and be a good teammate, because it was what Emmy wanted? Because he needed help killing Fisk? Or just because it felt like the right thing to do with his dying breaths?
It didn’t matter; Akeno could work out the specifics later. Whatever Ivan's reasons were she could work with them; work with him.
Use him.
“Okay, then let’s team up. Help me survive and I’ll help you get all of that; be a good teammate and we’ll kill Fisk together. Help me… and Emmy won’t have to watch all of us die.”
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The Honeless Beard
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Ivan nodded, rapidly. Yes. Emmy wouldn't have to watch all of them die.
If he could leave any mark on the game, it - it could be that. It didn't have to be starting shit with Fisk, and and and- losing time. It didn't have to be an index of streams and travel montages and forgetting the points where he closed a closet door and cried himself to an uneasy sleep, the only evidence red rimmed eyes, a headache, wet cheeks.
So, Akeno gets out. Full stop. She makes it.
"You're gonna make it," Ivan said, teeth bared, tenga lifted to a shoulder.
"Whatever happens, you make it."
If he could leave any mark on the game, it - it could be that. It didn't have to be starting shit with Fisk, and and and- losing time. It didn't have to be an index of streams and travel montages and forgetting the points where he closed a closet door and cried himself to an uneasy sleep, the only evidence red rimmed eyes, a headache, wet cheeks.
So, Akeno gets out. Full stop. She makes it.
"You're gonna make it," Ivan said, teeth bared, tenga lifted to a shoulder.
"Whatever happens, you make it."
"I'll make it."
That was all it took. One little conversation, ending in something that sounded like a promise, and she had an ally; someone looking out for her, someone going to bat for her. Someone who would probably kill for her; eagerly even, if it was the right person. Someone more concerned with her survival than his own.
Maybe even someone to die for her.
It didn’t feel good. Ivan wouldn’t survive this arrangement, they both knew that; he likely didn’t care but she still felt bad for weaponising his desperation, his concern for Emmy against him. Using it and him to add another tool in her arsenal. But not bad enough not to do it; Akeno would go through with it if she had to. She was willing to do anything she could to better her chances; anything at all.
She would owe Emmy an apology once this was over, likely more than she even realised. But at least she’d be alive to give it.
That was all it took. One little conversation, ending in something that sounded like a promise, and she had an ally; someone looking out for her, someone going to bat for her. Someone who would probably kill for her; eagerly even, if it was the right person. Someone more concerned with her survival than his own.
Maybe even someone to die for her.
It didn’t feel good. Ivan wouldn’t survive this arrangement, they both knew that; he likely didn’t care but she still felt bad for weaponising his desperation, his concern for Emmy against him. Using it and him to add another tool in her arsenal. But not bad enough not to do it; Akeno would go through with it if she had to. She was willing to do anything she could to better her chances; anything at all.
She would owe Emmy an apology once this was over, likely more than she even realised. But at least she’d be alive to give it.
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The Honeless Beard
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Nodding, Ivan ducked down to his bag, opened it up, and laid his hands on his (Rhonda's) medkit. Without another word, he handed it out to Akeno, an offering.
As Ivan reached into his bag, Akeno crouched down to retrieve her harpoon gun from the dock at her feet and felt some of her uncertainties slide away once she had it in hand again. Though she’d only had it for a short while she already felt less safe, less prepared if she didn’t have it ready; weird, to be comforted so by a weapon, but the fact that Ivan had appeared out of nowhere in the short amount of time she’d set it aside showed just how quickly trouble could arrive when you weren’t expecting it. It wouldn’t save her if she was caught off guard, but it was something.
Ivan reached out to her and tried to hand her something; a first aid kit. She stared at it for a second, looked to the side where the bag she had discarded still floated aimlessly, then turning back to him. “I’m good, I’ve already got one. You keep it.”
Ivan reached out to her and tried to hand her something; a first aid kit. She stared at it for a second, looked to the side where the bag she had discarded still floated aimlessly, then turning back to him. “I’m good, I’ve already got one. You keep it.”
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The Honeless Beard
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An offering rejected.
Ivan nodded, still holding his (Rhonda's) medkit out towards Akeno. There was a long pause, before he started, staring down at his stretched out arm as if surprised to see it there, then withdrew it. He tossed it into his bag without much care, the depleted state of it causing the few pieces of equipment still inside to rattle against its walls.
He exhaled sharply, feeling himself floating, light as air.
"Akeno," Ivan said, his left eye drifting left, skating along wobbily blades.
"Just- snap me out of it when you need me."
Ivan nodded, still holding his (Rhonda's) medkit out towards Akeno. There was a long pause, before he started, staring down at his stretched out arm as if surprised to see it there, then withdrew it. He tossed it into his bag without much care, the depleted state of it causing the few pieces of equipment still inside to rattle against its walls.
He exhaled sharply, feeling himself floating, light as air.
"Akeno," Ivan said, his left eye drifting left, skating along wobbily blades.
"Just- snap me out of it when you need me."
“Snap you out of it?”
He was already… gone, for lack of a better term. Zoned out. Akeno waited a few moments, maybe a minute or two, to see if he would come back, but whatever trance he was in seemed to be longer lasting than that.
It was weird; eerie. Akeno didn’t know what to make of it other than to wonder if he’d been doing this the whole time, the whole game since he’d been injured, or if it was something recent. The idea that he’d just been wandering around like this the entire time, only snapping out of it to kill someone or have a conversation like this one; was that something that could even happen? What did Fisk and the others even do to him?
What the hell did the inside of his head even look like at this point?
Turning away from those glassy eyes, Akeno raised a hand to run it through her hair. She reached behind her head to tug the knot of her bandana tighter, fiddling with it for longer than necessary as she bought herself time to think.
When she was done she turned around to look at her… ally? Teammate? Weapon?
She turned around to look at Ivan, checking to see if he was still out of it before letting out a sigh and starting to walk away.
“Come on, let’s go.”
EMMY’S SELKIES CONTINUED IN The Fourth Round
He was already… gone, for lack of a better term. Zoned out. Akeno waited a few moments, maybe a minute or two, to see if he would come back, but whatever trance he was in seemed to be longer lasting than that.
It was weird; eerie. Akeno didn’t know what to make of it other than to wonder if he’d been doing this the whole time, the whole game since he’d been injured, or if it was something recent. The idea that he’d just been wandering around like this the entire time, only snapping out of it to kill someone or have a conversation like this one; was that something that could even happen? What did Fisk and the others even do to him?
What the hell did the inside of his head even look like at this point?
Turning away from those glassy eyes, Akeno raised a hand to run it through her hair. She reached behind her head to tug the knot of her bandana tighter, fiddling with it for longer than necessary as she bought herself time to think.
When she was done she turned around to look at her… ally? Teammate? Weapon?
She turned around to look at Ivan, checking to see if he was still out of it before letting out a sigh and starting to walk away.
“Come on, let’s go.”
EMMY’S SELKIES CONTINUED IN The Fourth Round