i dunno some Nick Cave lyrics I guess

[Wham Yubeesling]

You ever watch a movie and see the credits and go ‘yeah, the way that ended was great, I feel good about myself’ but then when you’re sitting on the theater stairs with your brother waiting for your dad to come pick you up you start thinking about things a bit more and go ‘wait, no, that wasn’t right’?

Well.

Uh.

…

((Verity Stewart, continued from Can’t Run Forever))

She’d at least made it half an hour before she kinda started thinking about things. She was… on a different section of jetties, maybe. Kinda hard to tell the difference between all of them. Figure out what even was the correct route to the cruise ship. She’d just been walking towards its outline and following whatever the track was in front of her and hoped she could get there sooner rather than later. Maybe they were all still at the ferry, but, like, lmao at the idea of finding that before she found the cruise ship, this place was confusing. If they weren’t there at the pool she could go find a cabin in the corridors. Maybe take a shower again up in the captain’s quarters. God knew she fucking needed one after that scene with Akeno.

After that scene with Alyssa.

(hey)

…

(so like)

…

(we gonna talk about that?)

…

…

She was about to take a turn which sent her course parallel to the cruise ship before she looked up and saw the boat in front of her. How a part of the railing in the distance there seemed…-

…

She moved. From the jetty up onto the boat. From the end of the boat to the other side of the boat where she saw the thing and…

And there it was. A railing, shattered, little bits and pieces somehow still there floating below. No corpse, but… but there was blood. It’d caked the boat, basically stained the surface a murky shade of red. Someone had obviously died here. Someone had… fucked someone else up on this boat and then kicked them in the ocean. Watched them fly. Didn’t bother to see whether they sank or not.

It was just like what’d happened three days ago, on the deck of the cruise ship, before this game had even started.

It was just like last night, back at the ferry, just minutes after she’d told herself that she was never going to do anything like that again.

It was just like thirty minutes ago, somewhere in this labyrinth. She’d been given a choice. She’d made one. Made sure she couldn’t turn back again. Couldn’t run from the path she was on.

And now Alyssa was there too. With Keegan. With Timothy. It was a whole crowd now, in the back of her head. People who she’d put there. People who were… never going to be anywhere else, because of her.

(but that doesn’t really make you a bad person, right?)

(they’re better off that way)

(think about timothy. think about what happened, when you pushed him off the cruise ship. the two of you were locked in place and then he stopped resisting. let himself fly. he came to the same conclusion you did. he knew the moment his leg broke that there was no making it through this. he knew that it was better he be put down right then than try and pretend like a couple of days would make a difference. he knew, and he let you kill him. you did what he wanted. you spared him further pain. you gave him mercy.)

(think about keegan. think about what he looked like, after ivan did what he did. would it really have been better for him to be left like that? would you really have been doing the right thing? he told you to do it. he knew it’d make you stronger. he knew that if you ended his life then that you’d be ready to take on the rest of this. it doesn’t matter what you did to him that first day in the banquet hall. it doesn’t matter anything else other than that one moment. he told you to kill him. you did what he wanted. nothing more complicated than that.)

(think about alyssa. think about what would’ve happened. trying to avoid the game wouldn’t have worked. you two would’ve just been trying to hide, living in fear, waiting for the inevitable moment where someone found you. it was better for you to end her then. give her that happy moment and then make sure she didn’t have to be scared of anything anymore. she was smiling, before she died. she understood. she knew what you were doing. she was happy that you were doing it. she let you kill her. you made sure that she didn’t have to be here anymore.)

(you’re not a killer)

(far from it)

(all you’ve done is give people mercy)

(all you’ve done is leave them all better off)

(you’re a mercy killer)

(that’s who you are)

(that's our verity)

…

…

but

but

but no wait wait wait that wasn’t the plan. That wasn’t what Verity had set out to do. She said something, back in the banquet hall. She said she’d make sure that nobody who saw this as a game would make it out alive. That she’d do whatever it took to make sure they didn’t get what they wanted. She’d

((Verity Stewart, continued from Procatalepsis))

She’d joined up with Fisk and Vasily and Bacchia and James to do that. To get in with them. To find a moment where they’d all let down their guards and make sure she could take them all out. Killing Keegan… destroyed her to do, but she’d done it to fulfil that purpose. To make it clear that she was one of them. To make herself stronger so that… so that when the time came she could do it. She could raise her gun and shoot them down and know that she wasn’t going to falter. That… for once she could mean what she said. Take them all out. No mercy.

But now…

But now she’d killed somebody who had nothing to do with any of that. Stabbed Alyssa in the back despite the fact that she’d done nothing to deserve it. That wasn’t- that wasn’t-

That wasn’t what she’d said she’d do.

((Verity Stewart, continued from Procatalepsis))

That wasn’t who she was supposed to be.

She

((Verity Stewart, continued from Procatalepsis))

She

((Verity Stewart, continued from Procatalepsis))

She took a step back. Looked away from the railing, the blood. Didn’t even notice one of her arms had moved until she felt it tug at her hair. She

((Verity Stewart, continued from Procatalepsis))

She

((Verity Stewart, continued from Procatalepsis))

She-

[Wham Yubeesling]

"Shiva-"

[Wham Yubeesling]

"Who am I?"

[backslash]

There is no response from Verity's collar.

[Wham Yubeesling]

…

…

“...Sorry, Dumb question.”

She took a breath.

Looked at the railing one last time.

Guess she was going to have to figure out the question herself.

“I’ll be on my way.”

((continued elsewhere…))