((Carol Hong continued from Steel Graveyard.))
So you've just killed somone
So you've just pushed someone to their death.
What's the difference? Haha...
She had to not think about it. She had to. For her own sanity. She'd already made a huge mistake, but she couldn't... she couldn't...
She tried not to think about the sound... the god awful sound of two metal crates banging together with a body between them.
She gripped her daypack tightly. She'd kept him from stealing it, but at what cost.
What cost?
Everything.
She... he...
Carol sat against the railing, her head in her hands. All it took was one... second.
One second. And she...
He was trying to steal her stuff.
That wasn't an excuse.
There wasn't anything she could do to save him.
There was a whole lot, actually.
It was an accident.
It fucking wasn't.
Carol screamed.
That was the worst part. It wasn't a fucking accident. She'd pushed him. With intent. She may not have meant to kill him, but she'd goddamn meant everything else up to that point.
But hey, it's a death game, right?
She pounded the floor with her foot, before leaning back against the railing.
"The fuck am I supposed to do now?"
Chapter 11: Pier Pressure
Open.
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CondorTalon
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Cactus
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:25 pm
- Location: Toronto, Canada
- Team Affiliation: Malcolm's Mariners
Rhetorical question or not, sometimes an answer is forthcoming. A voice echoes out from her collar, not too loud but clear enough to be heard.
"You're supposed to keep on going."
The answer wasn't entirely helpful, though.
"You probably hate yourself a little bit. I get it — believe me, that's normal. You'll tell yourself whatever you need to in order to," he hesitates, "in order to justify it to yourself. You're not the first person to kill in this game and you won't be the last, and that's fine. That's the point."
An audible exhale comes from the collar.
"Carol, do you want to survive this? Honest question; even after what just happened."
"You're supposed to keep on going."
The answer wasn't entirely helpful, though.
"You probably hate yourself a little bit. I get it — believe me, that's normal. You'll tell yourself whatever you need to in order to," he hesitates, "in order to justify it to yourself. You're not the first person to kill in this game and you won't be the last, and that's fine. That's the point."
An audible exhale comes from the collar.
"Carol, do you want to survive this? Honest question; even after what just happened."
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CondorTalon
- Posts: 459
- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2018 1:22 am
"Oh."
Carol looked up as the voice caught her off guard. She only remembered who it was when she realized it was coming from her collar.
Did she want to survive?
"I..."
What did she want? She wanted to not be here. She wanted to be back home. She wanted to be back home, without blood on her hands. But that wasn't the question that had been asked.
Did she want to survive? Of course. Of course she fucking did. She wanted to be back home, but since she wasn't then, it became... she wanted to go back home. Alive.
"Y-..." she started. But she was still unsure. Did she deserve to, after what just happened? Sure, killing people was the point. That didn't make it okay. That didn't...
But the voice must have been waiting. And whether or not she deserved it was irrelevant.
"Yeah... I... want to go home," she said.
Carol looked up as the voice caught her off guard. She only remembered who it was when she realized it was coming from her collar.
Did she want to survive?
"I..."
What did she want? She wanted to not be here. She wanted to be back home. She wanted to be back home, without blood on her hands. But that wasn't the question that had been asked.
Did she want to survive? Of course. Of course she fucking did. She wanted to be back home, but since she wasn't then, it became... she wanted to go back home. Alive.
"Y-..." she started. But she was still unsure. Did she deserve to, after what just happened? Sure, killing people was the point. That didn't make it okay. That didn't...
But the voice must have been waiting. And whether or not she deserved it was irrelevant.
"Yeah... I... want to go home," she said.
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Cactus
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:25 pm
- Location: Toronto, Canada
- Team Affiliation: Malcolm's Mariners
"Good. Means that you've got a fighting chance. The fact that you're not looking to hurl yourself off of the highest ship we've got is good. Trust me. I've seen it both ways."
The voice has become steadier over the course of the last few moments. Pep-talks aren't foreign to it but maybe not necessarily these kind.
"So you want to go home, good. There's your aim. So how do you get there? What do you do? You've got three options. That's it! Just three. Either find your way out of here — which, frankly, good luck — or you find your fellow Mariners," he can't stifle a chuckle at the fact he has a team, "and you stay alive until the only people left are wearing your colours. Or..."
There's a long, pregnant pause.
The voice has become steadier over the course of the last few moments. Pep-talks aren't foreign to it but maybe not necessarily these kind.
"So you want to go home, good. There's your aim. So how do you get there? What do you do? You've got three options. That's it! Just three. Either find your way out of here — which, frankly, good luck — or you find your fellow Mariners," he can't stifle a chuckle at the fact he has a team, "and you stay alive until the only people left are wearing your colours. Or..."
There's a long, pregnant pause.
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CondorTalon
- Posts: 459
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"Or...?"
"No... no thanks."
"No... no thanks."
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Cactus
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:25 pm
- Location: Toronto, Canada
- Team Affiliation: Malcolm's Mariners
He knew that she knew what he was talking about, so he didn't elaborate.
"Right."
A slight sigh from the voice in the collar, but his voice remains steady.
"Look, Carol. I know that the next day is going to be hard, but trust me. You can get through this. Decide which way you want to go, and I'm telling you — find your fellow teammates. They may not like what you've done when they find out, but it's in their best interests to help you. Remember that. A team victory is still a victory. I can't say much more, but I'll be in touch tomorrow."
There is a kindness to him that is likely unexpected from an SOTF mentor.
"I'll be watching. Good luck — you can do this. I believe in you. Make sure you keep on believing in yourself."
The transmission cuts off and the voice is heard no longer.
"Right."
A slight sigh from the voice in the collar, but his voice remains steady.
"Look, Carol. I know that the next day is going to be hard, but trust me. You can get through this. Decide which way you want to go, and I'm telling you — find your fellow teammates. They may not like what you've done when they find out, but it's in their best interests to help you. Remember that. A team victory is still a victory. I can't say much more, but I'll be in touch tomorrow."
There is a kindness to him that is likely unexpected from an SOTF mentor.
"I'll be watching. Good luck — you can do this. I believe in you. Make sure you keep on believing in yourself."
The transmission cuts off and the voice is heard no longer.
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CondorTalon
- Posts: 459
- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2018 1:22 am
"Okay... thanks," she finally said, after what was probably way too long.
It had probably only been a few seconds, really, but who was counting?
Certainly not her.
Carol sniffed, not moving from her position. She had a goal now. A... A path forward. Find her teammates, then... yeah, then she'd be better off.
Safer.
And that really was the key word.... well, key morpheme there, wasn't it?
-er.
She still wouldn't be completely safe, but it was still better than unsafe. And that was fine. Carol could work with that. She sniffed. She stood up. She looked around.
For the first time since she woke up, she was able to take in her surroundings. To really internalize what had become her surroundings. Her home, that is, for the next... who knows? What was the average length of a SOTF season, anyway? If she'd asked any of her friends, they'd probably know.
Were any of the others even taken?
Er... maybe, maybe she'd worry about that later. For now, uh...
Boats. Nice boats.
Like that one anime. You know the one.
Everywhere she looked, there was nothing but boats. And water. And not an iota of land to be found. She and all the others... were trapped at sea.
You know what this is? This is a world from a Yume Nikki fangame. The Boat World, or whatever. Explore your dreams to figure out the cause of your thalassophobia. Man, that would have been so much better. She could make a game out of this. You know. If she made games. She could make a fanfic out of this. Yeah. That was better.
She looked out into the ocean. Thought of home. Of her old life.
She really did want to go home.
It had probably only been a few seconds, really, but who was counting?
Certainly not her.
Carol sniffed, not moving from her position. She had a goal now. A... A path forward. Find her teammates, then... yeah, then she'd be better off.
Safer.
And that really was the key word.... well, key morpheme there, wasn't it?
-er.
She still wouldn't be completely safe, but it was still better than unsafe. And that was fine. Carol could work with that. She sniffed. She stood up. She looked around.
For the first time since she woke up, she was able to take in her surroundings. To really internalize what had become her surroundings. Her home, that is, for the next... who knows? What was the average length of a SOTF season, anyway? If she'd asked any of her friends, they'd probably know.
Were any of the others even taken?
Er... maybe, maybe she'd worry about that later. For now, uh...
Boats. Nice boats.
Like that one anime. You know the one.
Everywhere she looked, there was nothing but boats. And water. And not an iota of land to be found. She and all the others... were trapped at sea.
You know what this is? This is a world from a Yume Nikki fangame. The Boat World, or whatever. Explore your dreams to figure out the cause of your thalassophobia. Man, that would have been so much better. She could make a game out of this. You know. If she made games. She could make a fanfic out of this. Yeah. That was better.
She looked out into the ocean. Thought of home. Of her old life.
She really did want to go home.
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Courtography
- Posts: 518
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 11:03 pm
Caleb had survived his first few moments on SOTF, and for that he should have been grateful.
But he wasn't.
He would have preferred to have been back in Miami with a pre-calc test scheduled for the next day. Even trying to understand high level math would be preferable to a fight to the death with his classmates. He was no fighter and he didn't expect that to change just because some rich assholes told him that he could do it without fear of punishment. No, while occasionally snarky, he was usually quiet and passive with those he did not know well. Most of his classmates were people he would say he did not know well. It was difficult to connect with others when he kept so many secrets from them.
There were no plans on his end to deepen those connections or reveal himself to the others. It didn't go with the plan he had come with. No doubt it could be improved upon with time and experience, but he knew that sitting around in the middle of the armada would cause his classmates to come across him. Some would of course be attracted to what was in the middle, but others would cross through the middle parts of their arena on the way to other places. So the plan was to minimize contact by getting to the edge and holing up somewhere where he couldn't be seen in the distance. The less others interacted with him the less chances he would have to get killed. Part of him wanted to attempt an escape, but he wasn't sure how that worked in this scenario. Leaving the area on one of the vessels was unlikely to work. Caleb was no sailor. His time spent aboard ships was as a passenger, and even as a strong swimmer he doubted he could tread water in the currents until he washed up on land. And that would be with the assumption that the show's producers would not detonate the bomb wrapped around his neck, which could always happen.
He heard a horrible scream that wasn't followed up with any other noises.
He continued to walk. Caleb wasn't the best at determining the direction sounds came from, and the ocean along with the creak from some of the nearby vessels distracted him. He soon saw a figure up ahead. She looked like a girl, but he hadn't seen her face, so he wasn't quite sure. He sighed and flicked the ponytail he had made using his team bandana. There was no way he could sneak around as the jetties weren't that far across, but was this the kind of place where you could walk by someone and just say "excuse me"?
Caleb didn't think so.
But he wasn't.
He would have preferred to have been back in Miami with a pre-calc test scheduled for the next day. Even trying to understand high level math would be preferable to a fight to the death with his classmates. He was no fighter and he didn't expect that to change just because some rich assholes told him that he could do it without fear of punishment. No, while occasionally snarky, he was usually quiet and passive with those he did not know well. Most of his classmates were people he would say he did not know well. It was difficult to connect with others when he kept so many secrets from them.
There were no plans on his end to deepen those connections or reveal himself to the others. It didn't go with the plan he had come with. No doubt it could be improved upon with time and experience, but he knew that sitting around in the middle of the armada would cause his classmates to come across him. Some would of course be attracted to what was in the middle, but others would cross through the middle parts of their arena on the way to other places. So the plan was to minimize contact by getting to the edge and holing up somewhere where he couldn't be seen in the distance. The less others interacted with him the less chances he would have to get killed. Part of him wanted to attempt an escape, but he wasn't sure how that worked in this scenario. Leaving the area on one of the vessels was unlikely to work. Caleb was no sailor. His time spent aboard ships was as a passenger, and even as a strong swimmer he doubted he could tread water in the currents until he washed up on land. And that would be with the assumption that the show's producers would not detonate the bomb wrapped around his neck, which could always happen.
He heard a horrible scream that wasn't followed up with any other noises.
He continued to walk. Caleb wasn't the best at determining the direction sounds came from, and the ocean along with the creak from some of the nearby vessels distracted him. He soon saw a figure up ahead. She looked like a girl, but he hadn't seen her face, so he wasn't quite sure. He sighed and flicked the ponytail he had made using his team bandana. There was no way he could sneak around as the jetties weren't that far across, but was this the kind of place where you could walk by someone and just say "excuse me"?
Caleb didn't think so.
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CondorTalon
- Posts: 459
- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2018 1:22 am
Carol spent a few more seconds just staring out into the water. Not necessarily lost in her thoughts, but preoccupied with nothing enough that she didn't move for those few more seconds. Then, her thoughts turned back to the game, as much as she didn't want it to. Her plan was to find her teammates, and then... play it safe, probably. She'd have to hope that her teammates agreed with that plan. Yeah... uh, Carol wasn't one to rock the boat, but if her teammates wanted to shoot up the place, then that was... that could be a problem.
Heh, rock the boat.
She knew she wasn't going to get anywhere by just standing here, so as much as she didn't really have the energy or the motivation to follow through with her very basic plan, even with the pep talk she'd just received, she dragged her feet away from the railing, turning down the path.
That's when she saw him. She blinked, brushing her hair out of her eyes, unsure if she was just seeing things.
But no, there was definitely a person there, and he was heading toward her.
And Carol just stared.
Heh, rock the boat.
She knew she wasn't going to get anywhere by just standing here, so as much as she didn't really have the energy or the motivation to follow through with her very basic plan, even with the pep talk she'd just received, she dragged her feet away from the railing, turning down the path.
That's when she saw him. She blinked, brushing her hair out of her eyes, unsure if she was just seeing things.
But no, there was definitely a person there, and he was heading toward her.
And Carol just stared.
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Courtography
- Posts: 518
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 11:03 pm
Caleb didn't like Carol's stare.
In normal life he would just chalk it up to the implied expectation of social interaction and his desire to not be noticed by many of his classmates. But in SOTF, a whole new array of possibilities blossomed inside his mind. She could be sizing him up for an attack. She was taller than him. The possibility that she could win if that was attempted couldn't be ignored. However, he was confident that he needed to get away from the cruise ship as quick as possible. It was the tallest vessel in the vicinity and his anxiety had already caused him to consider the possibility of his classmates climbing up on the deck and using guns to pick off those who walked on the jetties below.
So there was no way around that. He would have to try to get around Carol instead.
He cleared his throat and made a conscious effort to speak at louder than his normal volume.
"I uh, just want to move on by, y'know, if you wouldn't mind."
In normal life he would just chalk it up to the implied expectation of social interaction and his desire to not be noticed by many of his classmates. But in SOTF, a whole new array of possibilities blossomed inside his mind. She could be sizing him up for an attack. She was taller than him. The possibility that she could win if that was attempted couldn't be ignored. However, he was confident that he needed to get away from the cruise ship as quick as possible. It was the tallest vessel in the vicinity and his anxiety had already caused him to consider the possibility of his classmates climbing up on the deck and using guns to pick off those who walked on the jetties below.
So there was no way around that. He would have to try to get around Carol instead.
He cleared his throat and made a conscious effort to speak at louder than his normal volume.
"I uh, just want to move on by, y'know, if you wouldn't mind."
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CondorTalon
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- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2018 1:22 am
Carol kept her eyes on the boy as he continued to approach. The closer he got, the more her muscles tensed up. What was she waiting for? A fight? It's not like she was looking for one, but in a situation like this, one could never be too careful. She didn't really know this boy. She didn't know what he was planning to do. All she really knew, from a flash of the bandanna on his hair, was that he was not on the same team as her.
Carol wasn't ready for a fight. But it was what she was waiting for.
So when the boy spoke up, when he said something about 'just passing by', it caught her off guard. So much so, that without thinking, she replied:
"Oh, uh... yeah, sorry..."
She pushed herself against the railing to... what? Give him more room? It's not like they were in a crowded narrow hallway. It was a force of habit.
Well... okay, now it was awkward. So Carol lowered her head, staring at her feet.
Carol wasn't ready for a fight. But it was what she was waiting for.
So when the boy spoke up, when he said something about 'just passing by', it caught her off guard. So much so, that without thinking, she replied:
"Oh, uh... yeah, sorry..."
She pushed herself against the railing to... what? Give him more room? It's not like they were in a crowded narrow hallway. It was a force of habit.
Well... okay, now it was awkward. So Carol lowered her head, staring at her feet.
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Courtography
- Posts: 518
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 11:03 pm
Carol seemed to be willing to let him pass. Given the circumstances he was tempted to believe it was a trick, but then if it was, why would she look away from him. There were a lot of reasons, too many to consider at this point in time, but as usual, his brain tried to dream them up as he walked. It could be to get him to drop his guard. There could be a hidden third person waiting to attack him. Where would they hide when things seemed so simple? That wasn't important; his brain was certain it was a possibility.
Caleb knew his face looked nervous. Usually that would only bother him a little, but with millions of people watching the broadcast he had a familiar feeling in his gut: stage fright. That fear of making a fool of himself in front of others, especially strangers who would be ready to laugh at him. He was tempted to look for a camera, but he knew he needed to focus on Carol. She probably wouldn't hurt him. She was probably almost as scared as him, but he couldn't trust that to be true. He had been wrong about people before.
He shoved his right hand into his hoodie's pocket. It was a nervous habit he engaged in at times where he clenched a fist in a pocket instead of letting his arms swing at his side. In this case it might also look like he had a weapon. Did that mean he should remove it? Either option could be the wrong way. His slow footsteps had almost brought him to Carol's position now.
"Thanks, and uh, well, good luck."
That was probably the wrong thing to say, but also they were in competition weren't they, and that's what one usually said to competitors. The odds of either or both of them surviving this whole thing were extremely unlikely anyway. The only people that would remember were the thousands or millions of people that watched this segment. He swallowed nervously.
Caleb knew his face looked nervous. Usually that would only bother him a little, but with millions of people watching the broadcast he had a familiar feeling in his gut: stage fright. That fear of making a fool of himself in front of others, especially strangers who would be ready to laugh at him. He was tempted to look for a camera, but he knew he needed to focus on Carol. She probably wouldn't hurt him. She was probably almost as scared as him, but he couldn't trust that to be true. He had been wrong about people before.
He shoved his right hand into his hoodie's pocket. It was a nervous habit he engaged in at times where he clenched a fist in a pocket instead of letting his arms swing at his side. In this case it might also look like he had a weapon. Did that mean he should remove it? Either option could be the wrong way. His slow footsteps had almost brought him to Carol's position now.
"Thanks, and uh, well, good luck."
That was probably the wrong thing to say, but also they were in competition weren't they, and that's what one usually said to competitors. The odds of either or both of them surviving this whole thing were extremely unlikely anyway. The only people that would remember were the thousands or millions of people that watched this segment. He swallowed nervously.
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CondorTalon
- Posts: 459
- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2018 1:22 am
"You too," she said, without thinking.
Even more awkward now. Carol put her hand on the back on her neck, scratching it nervously. What was she even supposed to follow up with. Should she even follow up with anything, really?
God, this was so awkward. But, on the plus side, once he passed by, he'd be gone, and then she wouldn't have to deal with him anymore.
It might be the last time she'd see him alive.
She opened her mouth to say something, more to try to break the awkward silence than anything else. But, she realized she didn't actually have anything to say. She just hoped that the boy would go on his way, so that she could try to put this incident behind her. She coughed.
Even more awkward now. Carol put her hand on the back on her neck, scratching it nervously. What was she even supposed to follow up with. Should she even follow up with anything, really?
God, this was so awkward. But, on the plus side, once he passed by, he'd be gone, and then she wouldn't have to deal with him anymore.
It might be the last time she'd see him alive.
She opened her mouth to say something, more to try to break the awkward silence than anything else. But, she realized she didn't actually have anything to say. She just hoped that the boy would go on his way, so that she could try to put this incident behind her. She coughed.
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Courtography
- Posts: 518
- Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 11:03 pm
Caleb heard the cough.
He considered turning back around, but if she was going to attack him from behind he didn't want to make eye contact. The idea of looking into someone's eyes as they took your life seemed more terrifying than dying itself in Caleb's mind.
Instead he kept walking.
He didn't have to make eye contact.
He didn't die.
(Caleb Bloch continued in I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner)
He considered turning back around, but if she was going to attack him from behind he didn't want to make eye contact. The idea of looking into someone's eyes as they took your life seemed more terrifying than dying itself in Caleb's mind.
Instead he kept walking.
He didn't have to make eye contact.
He didn't die.
(Caleb Bloch continued in I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner)
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CondorTalon
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And he left.
Okay. That was good. She watched him as his figure moved further and further away, until he turned behind a ship and was out of sight.
Carol sighed. She didn't realized she'd been holding in a breath ever since he walked away.
Now she was alone again.
And she still hadn't run into any of her teammates. Well, she'd only run into one... two other people today, so...
One.
Two.
One?
Two. Definitely two. Just don't think about it.
Carol sighed again, this time with a shakier breath. She brushed her hair out of her eyes, before squeezing them shut.
She probably needed to move. She couldn't just sit here forever, after all.
((Carol Hong continued in Fantom Frigate.))
Okay. That was good. She watched him as his figure moved further and further away, until he turned behind a ship and was out of sight.
Carol sighed. She didn't realized she'd been holding in a breath ever since he walked away.
Now she was alone again.
And she still hadn't run into any of her teammates. Well, she'd only run into one... two other people today, so...
One.
Two.
One?
Two. Definitely two. Just don't think about it.
Carol sighed again, this time with a shakier breath. She brushed her hair out of her eyes, before squeezing them shut.
She probably needed to move. She couldn't just sit here forever, after all.
((Carol Hong continued in Fantom Frigate.))