Name: Leah Hemingway
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Grade: 12th
Hobbies and Interests: Gardening, baking, reading, hairstyling, cosplaying, running
Appearance: At 5 foot 7 inches and 112 pounds, Leah has a lanky, almost somewhat unhealthy-looking frame. Her skin is fair, with a small amount of light freckles across her nose. She has an oval shaped face and is quite attractive, with straight eyebrows that are bushier than she’d like them to be, wide hazel eyes, short eyelashes, and a duchess nose. Her mouth is average sized with somewhat thin, pale lips, which were are heavily chewed on, and her teeth are perfectly straight from years of wearing braces. Her arms, legs, and most notably hands have small scars from picking and scratching at bug bites until they bled, but they aren’t as noticeable as Leah thinks they are. More scars caused by acne, some faded, could be found at her temple, on her hairline, and behind her neck and ears, all covered by her hair. She has no piercings.
Despite her mother’s insistence, Leah doesn’t tend to wear much makeup, finding it a waste of time, 'only applying lip balm and concealer on school days. She does, however, put much care into her hip length hair, which is a natural light brown and slightly wavy. Occasionally she puts her hair into rather elaborate braids, usually half-up styles when she has extra time in the morning, copying them from pinterest forums and characters like Daenerys Targaryen. Most of the time she doesn’t have any time in the mornings to style it, and all she does is use hair clips to clip her overgrown bangs back. Sometimes, stray strands of hair fall onto her face, but unless they block her sight she doesn’t bother to re-apply the clips. Leah chews on her fingernails regularly, so they end up being very short.
Leah doesn’t care much about fashion, and her parents usually buy her clothes without consulting her on what she likes to wear first. As a result, her wardrobe consists of conservative, mature clothing, usually in monotone or earthy tones. Leah doesn’t like pants and seems to have a resistance against hot weather, as she prefers wearing long sleeves even in the Florida heat to hide her scars. Although her parents have given her jewelry as gifts, she doesn’t accessorize much aside from wearing cutesy hair clips she bought herself and thin, plastic headbands.
Her voice is rather quiet and soft, but somewhat deep and mature-sounding, and becomes slightly raspy if she raises her voice. She has a habit of sounding higher pitched and softer when talking to people she talks to others, being embarrassed of her voice, and even though the embarrassment has faded she still does it subconsciously. She absentmindedly scratches bug bites and scabs, chews on her lips, and bites her nails subconsciously when she is paying attention, deep in thought or stressed out.
On the day of the casting, Leah was wearing a knee-length, thin strapped black dress with a square neckline and a bare backline over a light cream colored long sleeved turtleneck shirt, white leggings, flat Mary Janes with silver buckles, and a green hairclip on the right side of her face shaped like a leaf, which holds half of her bangs down. The rest of her bangs falls onto her forehead and frames the left side of her face. There were two black hairties on her right wrist. Her only other accessory is a small glass terrarium necklace on a gold chain with a tiny, light green live succulent in it.
Biography: Leah was born on April 14th, 2003 to Isabella Thorn-Hemingway and Jonathan Hemingway. Isabella’s parents are British and owned a restaurant, and she went to college in America and stayed there due to her finding success there. Jonathan’s family has no knowledge of their ancestral history, having been in America for as long as they remember. His father was a mechanic and his mother still owns a florist’s shop. At the time, Jonathan was only 22, and had just founded a small tech startup company which makes antivirus apps right after college. Meanwhile, Isabella was 28 and an event singer who was introduced to Jonathan’s by his older sister Johanna, who was a mutual friend of theirs.
Their romance was intense but brief, as Jonathan felt that the relationship distracted him from his business. Oh a whim, Isabella decided that in order to force Jonathan to stay with her, she would become pregnant with his child. When she told him about her pregnancy, Jonathan, to her shock, instead dumped her on the spot and accused her of lying about taking birth control. However, After much reconsideration, along with pressure from his parents, Jonathan decided to marry Isabella for the sake of their child. Jonathan also moved into Isabella’s apartment.
Up until Leah’s fifth birthday, the couple managed to at least pretend to be a loving couple for Leah’s sake. Isabella stayed home as she claimed to be too busy practicing for her next performance, while Jonathan was taking Leah out for Disneyland. However, the two arrived too late and the large crowds caused the young Leah to freak out and cry. Dejected, they went back home only to find Isabella with another man. The couple had an incredibly messy fight, although Leah doesn’t remember much of it due to her young age and the memories being repressed.
The couple divorced, and had shared custody of Leah. At this time, Jonathan’s company started to take off, and he moved out and bought his own apartment about 5 miles away from Isabella’s. As per their agreement, the two hand Leah off to each other every other week. However, neither parents had enough time to take care of her due to work. She went through multiple babysitters as a result, never being able to make a connection with them before they’re gone. Whenever Isabella was too busy, she would hand Leah off to Jonathan prematurely, who would send her off to her grandparents instead, where Leah sometimes hung around the florist shop.
Leah was a fairly quiet child, not having many friends in school due to her shyness. She would easily become scared by large classrooms. Instead of sleepovers and playdates, Leah would spend hours at a time reading children’s books and watching TV. This behavior worried both parents, but despite their effort to introduce her to new friends, Leah has a very small social circle and most of her friendships ended quickly. Preferring escapism and entertainment over social interaction, Leah never developed the social skills she needed to make new friends. Although she wasn’t bullied, she was quiet and didn’t stand out much, to the point of social invisibility.
In fifth grade, for her science assignment, her class was given an assignment to grow bean sprouts. Unlike other students, she took the assignment very seriously, even going to her grandmother, who owns a florist shop, to help her take care of her bean sprout. After her grandmother explained how to grow and nurture plants, Leah grew fascinated with plants. Specifically, she is amazed by the concept that she can grow and take care of living creatures. To her dismay however, after growing the tallest plant in the class, another student, whom Leah’s parents attempted to get her to befriend a year before, plucked out her bean sprout and threw it in the trash out of jealousy. Even after she dug the bean sprout up and proved that she was sabotaged, this small incident caused deep-rooted trust issues in her.
In the summer between 5th and 6th grade, Leah started to grow flowers in a communal garden near her dad’s home. Isabella also indulged in her hobby by buying her strawberry seeds, flowerpots, and gardening tools. It was also this summer that Isabella’s career changed course as she worked towards making more albums in her recording studio at home rather than giving out public performances, allowing her to stay at home and care for Leah more. It is this summer that Leah began to connect with her mother more. Jonathan, on the other hand, was still distant due to pressure from work. As a result, Leah was taken care of by her grandparents more, who encouraged her hobby of gardening and became her replacement for a parental figure. Her father moved from an apartment to a house that fall, making it a much longer drive to the garden then before.
As she went to middle school, Leah’s lack of social interaction in her elementary school years became apparent as her poor social skills and lack of social connections meant she was mostly friendless. She would read books, especially fictional books with characters that were students her age, projecting herself onto them. She started to cosplay at 7th grade, when she realized an outfit she wore coincidentally made her heavily resemble an SOTF character, and opened an Instagram account where she posted the occasional selfie of her in her costumes. These cosplays almost always put together using clothes she already owns, along with some of her parent’s clothes that she borrowed secretly. Her mother, worried that Isabella’s poor reputation at school will impact her own career, started to be more strict on her, started to coach Leah on her behavior and how to make new friends, along with trying to buy presentable clothes for her. On the other hand Jonathan no longer has any time to care for Leah now that his company has become quite successful. Wanting her to be an independent child, he doesn’t have any babysitters, often leaving Leah to her own devices.
On weekdays, Jonathan can be off to work meetings for the entire day, and thus Leah developed a passion for baking, being forced to cook for herself. Because of her habit of baking large amounts of sweets at a time and consuming almost all of them at one, she was pudgy in her middle school years. She received constant criticism for her body from her concerned mother, was teased by other kids, and was harassed online from her cosplays. As a result, in eighth grade, she began skipping meals, using lunch money to buy materials for her cosplays. Although her mother was happy about the weight loss, her dad quickly became suspicious, because she did not exercise and continued to bake and eat a lot. However, he did not implement any measures to stop her dieting, and instead bought her a cookbook of healthy recipes to bake, reasoning having Leah bake healthy food to eat instead of forcing her to eat school lunches is easier for the both of them. This slowly helped, as Leah would eat leftover pastries after school while still skipping lunch, but she is still dangerously close to being underweight.
Over the summer before high school, Leah’s Instagram became more popular when she cosplayed SOTF characters, although she only did it because of cosplay requests and not because she liked the show, being too sensitive to violence to enjoy it. Both of her parents did not pay attention to her hobbies, since they’re too consumed with work. Due to her other cosplays of several popular fantasy characters, she also picked up braiding hair, getting her ideas from Pinterest boards. It became a way for her to calm down after reading particularly emotional stories. At the same time, as she gained more freedom growing up, she started to work more on her community garden, usually either jogging there or taking public transportation. She started planting edible food there as well, usually strawberries and other fruits. She also began to resent her loneliness, as she has no real friends to talk to over the summer. When she told her father about her new batch of tomatoes, he told her to get a hobby that can better her academic success or make new friends. Her confidence shattered, Leah realized how much affection was missing for her life, and how desperate she actually is for being loved by others.
Leah got into Mangrove Garden via the entrance exam, scoring especially well on literacy and science. She tried to reinvent her image, but her awkwardness and social anxiety only made everything worse. Upon seeing a poster for a gardening club, however, she eagerly joined, and made almost all of her friends in the club, finally being able to talk passionately about what she likes. However, she constantly felt like a disposable friend, due to the fact that she is one of the most unpopular students in the club. Furthermore, she was still afraid to join conversations on anything not related to gardening, preferring to just listen on the side, which caused her to slowly drift away from the group. Via her interactions with the club, Leah found out that she has a hard time trusting her friends not to backstab her, especially since gardening specifically reminds her of the bean sprout incident in fifth grade. By the time she reached 12th grade, she felt as if she had disconnected from the club and that she is no longer a part of their friend group. As she was invited to less and less group events, Leah stopped attending to any events they did invite her to, afraid that they would just ignore her, or worse, betray her in some way now that she apparently isn’t one of them anymore.
Due to her lack of involvement in friend drama or social events, however, she has more time to study and has grades that range from high Bs to low As, doing especially well in literacy. Her P.E grades are low, however, and she isn’t all that good at social studies. Too scared to raise her hand in class, her participation grades drags a lot of her other grades down. Most electives she takes are related to science and literature, like creative writing, and she has taken most of the horticulture-related classes. With her decent grades, she doesn’t pay much attention to the ranking system, as it does not negatively affect her. Furthermore, as an asocial student, the ranking system does no damage to her reputation.
Her mother also still buys her clothes for her, with the idea of making her look more mature and elegant. She set many generally strict rules for her. Those rules include not being allowed to date until she graduates high school, no grades and test results below an 85 percent allowed, having to take at least two AP classes a year, bedtime at 10, and no going out without being supervised by an adult. If she broke the rules, she would get her electronics taken away and be yelled at, although Leah’s tame lifestyle and academic success meant those rules don’t restrict her life much. Whenever Leah confronted her mother about wanting to choose her own clothes, Isabella would tell Leah to buy her own clothes, though she cares too little about fashion to actually buy much, instead spending her allowance on plant seeds, books, cosplay material, and hair clips. Her father, on the other hand, does not have many rules at all.
It is also at this time that she also began questioning her own mental health and sexuality, now that she has more exposure on what’s normal and what’s not. Since she was too scared to ask her parents for mental health treatment, especially due to her dad’s emotional detachment in her life and her mom’s obsession about her reputation, she turned to self diagnosis, believing that she has social anxiety. She herself frequently questions the validity of her diagnosis, and plans on seeing a real mental health professional after college. She is also questioning if she is asexual, after a conversation about having crushes amongst the girls in the gardening club led her to realize that she had never been attracted to anyone. However, since she is too scared to come out, even online, since a considerable amount of her cosplays show a lot of skin, and most of her followers are male, she decided to not dwell on the matters of her sexuality until later.
Due to her cosplays getting more popular, she tries to maintain an attractive figure and runs from home to school daily for exercise, even after she got a car for her 16th birthday. However, she only succeeds in looking skinny, with her body generally looking more flat than she likes. Being creeped out by cosplay requests of more sexualized characters, she nonetheless continues to cosplay as she enjoys the rush of validation from uploading and the compliments she gets. Once she announced that she turned 18, however, she was overwhelmed by the amount of sexual requests she would get in her comments. In the following week, she blocked everyone who made overtly sexual remarks, which severely reduced her followers. Recently, she's been posting more pictures of her as either male characters or less sexualized female characters in order to deter them. She tries to keep her cosplays secret out of fear from being discovered by others by not revealing personal information and using her lunch money and allowance and generally doing “cheap” costumes with clothes she already owns.
Barely passing her driver’s license test, Leah doesn’t trust her driving skills and does most of her travel on foot. She also got a part-time job as a florist in her grandmother’s shop when she turned 16, saving most of her money for college.
Stuck between an emotionally distant father and an overbearing mom, Leah used to sometimes rebel in little ways, generally by modifying her own appearance without her mother’s permission. In one recent Instagram story, she cut her own bangs very badly, and out of shame wore her hair back with headbands and hairclips ever since. However, the retribution from her mom, usually in the form of yelling or taking her phone and books away, makes her scared to do anything drastic, and as such Leah is usually an obedient student. She also has many nervous tics like biting her fingernails and scratching bug bites, both of which her mother actively tries to prevent her from doing.
In general, Leah is asocial, self-reliant and easily suspicious of others and has no one at school whom she considers to be very close friends, especially since she’s drifted away from the gardening club. She fills the lack of affection and friendship in day to day life with her online activities, and has all but given up on making new friends due to her undiagnosed social anxiety and the fact that she just doesn’t know how to approach people and make friends with them. Despite making small talk to her classmates, the lack of close interpersonal connections have led her to be socially apathetic when it comes to cliques and reputation. She is generally overlooked in school, with her being very quiet, and has a reputation of being weird, due to her lack of friends, tendency to read unrelated books in class, and the fact that she doesn’t share any of her personal history with others. As a result of not being involved in any friend groups, she is oblivious to drama and refuses to get herself caught up in any conflicts. She is closer to her paternal grandparents than her own father, and feels as if her mother’s overbearing behavior is toxic and too controlling. Leah is excited to graduate, as it would let her be free from her mother’s control, and she doesn’t have any friends she would miss.
After graduation, she plans on seeking a degree in horticulture as she works in her grandmother’s shop part-time, and despite wanting to operate a farm or an orchard, she has made plans in case she inherits the flower shop. She has already been accepted to the University of Florida. Both of her parents being very well-off, she has a lot of money saved for college, and doesn't worry much about her future, already having her career path planned out.
Advantages: As a gardener, Leah is familiar with a variety of edible plants, which can help her if her supplies run out, along with being able to utilize poisonous plants as potential weapons. She is intelligent and strategic. Furthermore, she doesn’t require much caloric intake, meaning that food should not be much of an issue for her. She is used to traversing across long distances on foot, and is good at conserving her stamina. Socially, Leah is easily suspicious of other people, making her more difficult to betray, yet she has a quiet, harmless reputation that could make others see her as less of a threat. She is emotionally detached from the rest of the student body, making her less likely to suffer emotional damage from losing her classmates. Leah doesn’t stand out and has no enemies at school, which could prevent her from immediately being targeted by others. She is self-reliant, and could do better both maintaining her sanity and making decisions while being separated from her teammates.
Disadvantages: Despite her stamina, Leah has very little musculature, making her easy to overpower. In addition, her quiet nature, social anxiety, and lack of social skills will make it hard for her to communicate with any allies, and her not being used to teamwork could pose a problem in coming up with any sort of strategy with her teammates. Although her paranoia can be useful, this combined with her difficulty communicating can cause her to turn against her teammates and potential new allies. With her lack of close friends, Leah can have difficulties finding allies. She is sensitive to gore and can be easily phased by violence. Leah can be desperate for the approval of others, making her easy to manipulate.
Leah Hemingway
tfw when you have plants instead of friends.
Hey Yonagoda! Leah is off to a good start here, but she is temporarily DENIED pending some editing and points of expansion in her biography. In this critique, I'll walk you through all the things that need changes or clarifications.
First of all, the line breaks between paragraphs are gone and need to be added back in so it's not a wall of text. Line breaks don't stay in text that is copied from a word document or Google doc into the text window, so if you're writing in one of those and copying things over, you'll need to double space between paragraphs to maintain your formatting.
What sort of elaborate braids does Leah like to style her hair in when she can? There's lots of kinds; French braids, Dutch braids, crown braids, etc. Does she have any particular preference?
If Leah was born in April 2002, she'd be 19 in the spring of 2021, when TV3 takes place. You'll want to push her birth year up to 2004 to make her 17.
When you say that Isabella is a singer, does she have a recording deal with a company, or is she like a lounge singer? Similarly, what kind of tech business did Jonathan found?
Isabella is also referred to as "Isabelle" at a couple points in the profile, so make those consistent.
Violating a custody agreement in the manner that Jonathan does, especially doing so with regularity, is a pretty serious thing in family law and would be grounds for him to lose custody of Leah if he refuses to abide by the agreed-upon arrangement and let her see her mom when it's Isabella's turn. If Isabella contacted a lawyer or other authority and informed them that her ex-husband wasn't letting her see her daughter and possibly was sending her to a third location where Isabella couldn't find her, Jonathan could lose his custody privileges and even face kidnapping charges. Why did he prevent Leah from seeing her mom in the first place, and how did Isabella react to it? They agreed upon split custody, so I'm doubtful that she'd just let that kind of thing slide, especially since Leah could easily be in an unsafe situation when Isabella doesn't know her whereabouts.
What did Leah do to bond with her grandparents? Does she only have a good relationship with her paternal grandparents, or is she also close with the grandparents on her mom's side?
Did Leah pass the entrance exam to get into Mangrove Garden High School, or did her parents pay for her tuition? How does she feel about the ranking system?
Okay, so, Leah's cosplay. I'm curious about the "sex appeal" point here. Leah is underage and began cosplaying when very young; sites like Instagram have pretty strict regulations about provocative pictures involving young people, and posting something risque could even get Leah herself in trouble legally. I'd like more elaboration on what exactly this means, because doing anything provocative with her cosplay and posting it online is the kind of thing that people notice and would want to bring to the attention to the guardians of an underage girl or another authority.
Has Leah ever reported the harassment she's gotten online? Also, what exactly do you mean when you say that she keeps her cosplay secret? If she's spending money on costume supplies, I imagine her parents would know, especially since she first picked up the hobby in middle school. If she's posting these on a public Instagram, and it sounds like she must be, how would she keep it secret from anyone else?
Additionally, it's stated later on in this section that Leah has turned 18. However, the beginning of the profile says that she's 17 and in 11th grade. Make sure her age and grade is consistent throughout the profile.
There should be no line break between the Advantages and Disadvantages section.
Spelling and grammar things:
There are some issues with tense switching in the profile; everything taking place before the present day should be in past tense.
Once you've made those edits, make another post in this thread to let me know! Feel free to message me if you have any questions or concerns.
First of all, the line breaks between paragraphs are gone and need to be added back in so it's not a wall of text. Line breaks don't stay in text that is copied from a word document or Google doc into the text window, so if you're writing in one of those and copying things over, you'll need to double space between paragraphs to maintain your formatting.
What sort of elaborate braids does Leah like to style her hair in when she can? There's lots of kinds; French braids, Dutch braids, crown braids, etc. Does she have any particular preference?
If Leah was born in April 2002, she'd be 19 in the spring of 2021, when TV3 takes place. You'll want to push her birth year up to 2004 to make her 17.
When you say that Isabella is a singer, does she have a recording deal with a company, or is she like a lounge singer? Similarly, what kind of tech business did Jonathan found?
Isabella is also referred to as "Isabelle" at a couple points in the profile, so make those consistent.
Violating a custody agreement in the manner that Jonathan does, especially doing so with regularity, is a pretty serious thing in family law and would be grounds for him to lose custody of Leah if he refuses to abide by the agreed-upon arrangement and let her see her mom when it's Isabella's turn. If Isabella contacted a lawyer or other authority and informed them that her ex-husband wasn't letting her see her daughter and possibly was sending her to a third location where Isabella couldn't find her, Jonathan could lose his custody privileges and even face kidnapping charges. Why did he prevent Leah from seeing her mom in the first place, and how did Isabella react to it? They agreed upon split custody, so I'm doubtful that she'd just let that kind of thing slide, especially since Leah could easily be in an unsafe situation when Isabella doesn't know her whereabouts.
What did Leah do to bond with her grandparents? Does she only have a good relationship with her paternal grandparents, or is she also close with the grandparents on her mom's side?
Her mother, worried that Isabella’s poor reputation at school will impact her own career, started to be more strict on her, started to coach Leah on her behavior and how to make new friends, along with trying to buy “presentable” clothes for her.
However, she constantly felt like a “disposable” friend, due to the fact that she is one of the most unpopular students in the club. Furthermore, she is still afraid to join conversations on anything not related to gardening, preferring to just listen on the side, becoming the “quiet friend”.
As a general rule, try to avoid using quotation marks in profiles as it introduces an element of unreliability. All of these sentences are fine without the quotes, so just remove those.It is also at this time that she also began questioning her own mental health and sexuality, now that she has more exposure on what’s “normal” and what’s not.
Did Leah pass the entrance exam to get into Mangrove Garden High School, or did her parents pay for her tuition? How does she feel about the ranking system?
Okay, so, Leah's cosplay. I'm curious about the "sex appeal" point here. Leah is underage and began cosplaying when very young; sites like Instagram have pretty strict regulations about provocative pictures involving young people, and posting something risque could even get Leah herself in trouble legally. I'd like more elaboration on what exactly this means, because doing anything provocative with her cosplay and posting it online is the kind of thing that people notice and would want to bring to the attention to the guardians of an underage girl or another authority.
Has Leah ever reported the harassment she's gotten online? Also, what exactly do you mean when you say that she keeps her cosplay secret? If she's spending money on costume supplies, I imagine her parents would know, especially since she first picked up the hobby in middle school. If she's posting these on a public Instagram, and it sounds like she must be, how would she keep it secret from anyone else?
Additionally, it's stated later on in this section that Leah has turned 18. However, the beginning of the profile says that she's 17 and in 11th grade. Make sure her age and grade is consistent throughout the profile.
There should be no line break between the Advantages and Disadvantages section.
Spelling and grammar things:
Occasionally she puts her hair into rather elaborate braids when she has extra time in the morning,
Remember to capitalize proper nouns like "Mary Janes" (since it's a person's name, even though the name refers to a style of shoe) and "Animal Crossing" (the title of a piece of media).On the day of the casting, Leah was wearing a knee-length, thin strapped black dress over a white turtleneck long sleeve shirt, white leggings, Mary Janes, and a hairclip on the right side of her face shaped like the leaf from Animal Crossing.
Isabella’s grandparents are British immigrants who came to America after World War 2, and her parents were working at a family-owned restaurant, while Jonathan’s family has no knowledge of their ancestral history, having been in America for as long as they can remember.
I'm not sure what "igged" is supposed to mean; do you mean "dug"?Even after she igged the bean sprout up and proved that she was sabotaged, this small incident caused deep-rooted trust issues in her.
There are some issues with tense switching in the profile; everything taking place before the present day should be in past tense.
Once you've made those edits, make another post in this thread to let me know! Feel free to message me if you have any questions or concerns.
Allright! I corrected it and clarified some things. Thank you for the critique and for being willing to talk this out on discord!
Okay! We're looking better already, but there's still a few things to be fixed up with a bit more clarification and some grammar stuff.
Leah's age is now listed as 18, but her birthday would make her 17. The year should be 2003 for her to be 18.
Since running seems to be something that Leah does often and enjoys, it can be added to her list of hobbies.
I still need details on what exactly Jonathan's business is; a tech startup could be a lot of things. Is he in IT, or software development?
When Leah first starts cosplaying in the 7th grade, did she start with outfits that she already owned, or did she buy the clothes first with the intent to make them into costumes? It's later explained that she uses her personal savings and allowance to buy things, but I'm curious as to how she got started, and what inspired her to get into cosplay.
There's still some tone issues in the discussion of Leah's cosplay. This sentence for example:
Since it's confirmed in the profile now that Leah is in her senior year of high school, she should have already been applying to schools and know if she's been accepted if she is planning to start college right after graduating rather than taking a year off or so.
Leah's advantages and disadvantages need a couple of tweaks. Advantages/disadvantages for the game are not necessarily the same as strengths and weaknesses in regular day-to-day life. An advantage in SOTF is something that the character has which makes them notably better in some area than the average person, in the specific context of the death game. The same goes for disadvantages: they're something that makes you notably worse and possibly less likely to survive.
With that in mind, look over Leah's Advantage/Disadvantage section and consider which of the things listed actually help or hurt in those terms. For example, intelligence is good, but how does her scientific knowledge help her specifically? Her familiarity with plants is a good example and should be kept, but is there anything else? If not, just take out the mention of science, since the practical applications are already laid out.
Leah's sensitivity to gore is not mentioned specifically in the biography section; all advantages and disadvantages need to come up in the bio and be justified there, so elaborate on that if you want to include it.
Spelling/Grammar:
Leah's age is now listed as 18, but her birthday would make her 17. The year should be 2003 for her to be 18.
Since running seems to be something that Leah does often and enjoys, it can be added to her list of hobbies.
I still need details on what exactly Jonathan's business is; a tech startup could be a lot of things. Is he in IT, or software development?
When Leah first starts cosplaying in the 7th grade, did she start with outfits that she already owned, or did she buy the clothes first with the intent to make them into costumes? It's later explained that she uses her personal savings and allowance to buy things, but I'm curious as to how she got started, and what inspired her to get into cosplay.
There's still some tone issues in the discussion of Leah's cosplay. This sentence for example:
Labeling something as "concerning" in a profile is iffy, since neither Leah nor anyone she knows seem to find it cause for concern. I'd also like clarification on Leah trying to keep her cosplay a secret; who is it a secret from? As I previously stated, her account seems to be public, so people who know her would easily be able to find it if they look her up on social media.However, since she is too scared to come out, even online, since a concerning amount of her cosplays show a lot of skin, and most of her followers are male, she decided to not dwell on the matters of her sexuality until later.
Since it's confirmed in the profile now that Leah is in her senior year of high school, she should have already been applying to schools and know if she's been accepted if she is planning to start college right after graduating rather than taking a year off or so.
Leah's advantages and disadvantages need a couple of tweaks. Advantages/disadvantages for the game are not necessarily the same as strengths and weaknesses in regular day-to-day life. An advantage in SOTF is something that the character has which makes them notably better in some area than the average person, in the specific context of the death game. The same goes for disadvantages: they're something that makes you notably worse and possibly less likely to survive.
With that in mind, look over Leah's Advantage/Disadvantage section and consider which of the things listed actually help or hurt in those terms. For example, intelligence is good, but how does her scientific knowledge help her specifically? Her familiarity with plants is a good example and should be kept, but is there anything else? If not, just take out the mention of science, since the practical applications are already laid out.
Leah's sensitivity to gore is not mentioned specifically in the biography section; all advantages and disadvantages need to come up in the bio and be justified there, so elaborate on that if you want to include it.
Spelling/Grammar:
Oh a whim, Isabella decided that in order to force Jonathan to stay with her, she would become pregnant with his child.
Isabella stayed home as she claimed to be too busy practicing for her next performance, while Jonathan was taking Leah out for Disneyland.
Instead of sleepovers and playdates, Leah would spend hours at a time reading children’s books and watching TV.
There's an extra period at the end of this sentence.She started to cosplay at 7th grade, and opened an Instagram account where she posted the occasional selfie of her in her costumes..
Although her mother was happy about the weight loss, her dad quickly became suspicious, because she did not exercise and continued to bake and eat a lot.
This sentence runs on. I'd add a period after "work" and make it two separate sentences, since the two ideas are not connected.Both of her parents did not pay attention to her hobbies, since they’re too consumed with work due to her other cosplays of several popular fantasy characters, she also picked up braiding hair, getting her ideas from Pinterest forums.
If she broke the rules, she would get her electronics taken away and be yelled at, although Leah’s tame lifestyle and academic success meant those rules doesn’t don't restrict her life much.
Whenever Leah confronted her mother about wanting to choose her own clothes, Isabella would tell Leah to buy her own clothes, though she cares too little about fashion to actually buy much, instead spending her allowance of on plant seeds, books, cosplay material, and hair clips.
Her father, on the other hand, basically did does not have many rules at all.
Barely passing her driver’s license test, Leah doesn’t trust her driving skills and does most of her travel on foot. She also has got a part-time job as a florist in her grandmother’s shop when she turned 16, saving most of her money for college.
In one recent Instagram story, she cut her own bangs very badly, and out of shame wore her hair back with headbands and hairclips ever since.
In order to maintain a more dry and formal tone in the profile, try to eliminate slang phrases such as "straight up".She fills the lack of affection and friendship in day to day life with her online activities, and has all but given up on making new friends due to her undiagnosed social anxiety and the fact that she just straight up doesn’t know how to approach people and make friends with them.
Her father promised her that if she gets into an Ivy League school, he would pay for her tuition, but she isn’t confident in her ability to get into a good school.
I think you're missing a phrase such as "used to" at the beginning of the sentence here.She is traversing across long distances on foot, and is good at conserving her stamina.
Once again, post in here when you've made those edits, and I'll give Leah another look!In addition, her quiet nature, social anxiety, and lack of social skills will make it hard for her to communicate with any allies, and her not being used to team work teamwork could pose a problem in coming up with any sort of strategy with her teammates. Although her paranoia can come be useful, this combined with her difficulty communicating can cause her to turn against her teammates and potential new allies.
Oh dear god I hope I caught all of the mistakes this time!