((F20- Megan Jacobson Start))
Megan Jacobson turned the object around in her hands again, wondering if maybe, just maybe, there was something more to it. A knife strapped to the back, a bomb hidden inside, anything that would actually help her win this damn game. After five minutes of staring at it, desperate for it to turn into a gun, or a bat, or something, she tossed it down on the ground, knowing it would never be more than what it was.
"A football helmet. Guns, knives, bats, bombs, and me? I get a freaking football helmet. You guys think you're funny, don't you?" Megan tried to coat the fear in her voice, but it came out anyway. She swore under her breath, clutching her head in her hands.
"Okay Megan. Think. You're fighting for your life, millions of people watching at this very moment, and your only weapon is a football helmet." She bit her lower lip and squeezed her eyes shut. "I could headbutt someone? Or..." She picked up the helmet and put it on- it was comically large on her. "I could make a daring fashion statement!"
She groaned, falling down onto her back. The helmet tumbled off, landing slightly behind her. All the years she'd spent laughing with Marten about how people on the Program got stupid weapons, about how people made stupid decisions, about how people said stupid things, and she never once thought that she'd be the person with the joke weapon. All of the people I laughed at an now people are laughing at me. Poetic justice.
"Well shit." She sat back up, turning and grabbing the helmet. "Well guess it's just you and me now. I'm royally fucked."
She winced, remembering that her parents were watching. "Guess I should watch my mouth. But...but then again, it's not like it really matters anymore. I mean, I can't get grounded, considering. So fuck it! I'm gonna swear all I want!" She grinned. "Except, I'm still gonna die...but who cares! Silver lining!" Her optimism was desperate, a last ditch effort to forget that she was, in fact, going to die a very painful death. It didn't matter. Right now, she was going to be optimistic, because it was all she had. "Well, optimism and the helmet."
She stood up, running her fingers through her hair. "Okay, so I'm at the starting gate...literally...and I have a helmet...which makes me the quarterback...so who do I throw the ball too?" There was a long pause as Megan thought about that sentence. "Wait. What does that even mean? And who the hell am I talking too?!"
She plopped back down on the ground, sighing. "Ten minutes into this game and I've already completely lost my marbles."
Another sigh. "Okay. So, there's a couple options here. I could wander blindly into another area, meet someone unfriendly, and die. I could wander blindly into another area, meet no one, and die. I could stay here, come across someone mean, and die. Or I can stay here, meet someone nice, and possibly live." She nodded. "Well, considering my options, I guess I'll just stay here."
She put the helmet back on. "Alrighty. This is an adventure. Face my fear, fight for my life, make a few friends, get some famous last words, go down in TV history."
Don't cry, don't cry, keep making jokes, don't freak out, don't freak out, not gonna die, not gonna die, not gonna die...
"Right. This'll be fun."
Shiiiiiiit.
Try Not to Fumble
Moderator: Sh4dE
-
Casey The Undead*
- Posts: 196
- Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2018 3:44 am
Try Not to Fumble
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the handler Casey The Undead. While this handler hasn't been around in quite a while, should they return and wish to take custody of this account and/or its posts, they are welcome to do so by contacting staff.
((David Burn, continued from You're Gonna Go Far, Kid.))
As he'd walked from, well, wherever the fuck he was at, Dave had realised a couple things. First off was the fact that he had a pipe wrench, and that bringing a pipe wrench to a gun fight would leave him se- sorry, six feet under quicker than he could spell antidisestablishmentarianism. Secondly, was that even the biggest badass was gonna need a spunky sidekick to watch his back.
So, that was his mission of sorts, as he was walking around this gigantic fucking compound. Find a gun, and find a sidekick. Shouldn't be too hard, all things considered.
Problem was, not a lot of people were sidekick quality, really. Most were just waking up and throwing tantrums. He needed someone cool, y'kno- What did we have here? Was that a chick talking to a football helmet? This looked like as good as any opportunity to make an ally or two, depending on the sentience of the helmet. ...Shit, was he really considering a helmet having sentience? What the fuck was he even smoking, seriously.
Pipe Wrench at his side, David made an approach to football helmet airhead. Alright, now, to introduce himself. Ahem.
"Hey?" David looked down at the airhead. "I'm David Burn, and if I had a nickel for every person in this compound more of a badass than me right now, I would have no nickels."
"So," He took a step back in case she went for the shins. You always gotta be careful about that with short people, see? It's a big issue. "'Sup?"
As he'd walked from, well, wherever the fuck he was at, Dave had realised a couple things. First off was the fact that he had a pipe wrench, and that bringing a pipe wrench to a gun fight would leave him se- sorry, six feet under quicker than he could spell antidisestablishmentarianism. Secondly, was that even the biggest badass was gonna need a spunky sidekick to watch his back.
So, that was his mission of sorts, as he was walking around this gigantic fucking compound. Find a gun, and find a sidekick. Shouldn't be too hard, all things considered.
Problem was, not a lot of people were sidekick quality, really. Most were just waking up and throwing tantrums. He needed someone cool, y'kno- What did we have here? Was that a chick talking to a football helmet? This looked like as good as any opportunity to make an ally or two, depending on the sentience of the helmet. ...Shit, was he really considering a helmet having sentience? What the fuck was he even smoking, seriously.
Pipe Wrench at his side, David made an approach to football helmet airhead. Alright, now, to introduce himself. Ahem.
"Hey?" David looked down at the airhead. "I'm David Burn, and if I had a nickel for every person in this compound more of a badass than me right now, I would have no nickels."
"So," He took a step back in case she went for the shins. You always gotta be careful about that with short people, see? It's a big issue. "'Sup?"
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the former handler Macha.
-
Lord_Shadow
- Posts: 536
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 2:43 am
- Team Affiliation: Emmy's Selkies
((F13: Jennifer Steinman - Start))
Jennifer walked around the Compound. She spent the first few minutes of her time there pacing around the grounds, mumbling to herself about how this whole thing must have been some mistake. She was still doing that as she approached the gate. She was going to get out of there, she knew it.
"I'm not supposed to be here. I'm a good person. I'm a real American. I have tons of friends back home. This has to be a mistake."
She was going to march right up to that gate and let those people know that they picked the wrong girl. It was probably some sort of clerical error or something. It had to be. Maybe someone just threw her name into the hat where the must have picked them from by mistake. That was surely the explanation.
She saw a boy and a girl by said gate. They must have thought the same thing. "Oh. Excuse me, hello!" Jennifer picked up the pace and waved at them to get their attention. "Hi. I can see that we all thought the same thing." She smiled and kept her hands together. She wasn't even going to touch that knife they left her. She had shoved that thing in the bag as quick as could be.
"Jennifer Steinman. What are your names?" She asked, trying to be warm and friendly and not seem desperate to think about anything else other than the fact that she was there.
Oh god. You're thinking about it. Stop it Jen. This is a mistake. It has to be. Maybe with these two, we can convince those people that we, or at least I, don't belong here. They must be willing to help. They have to.
Jennifer walked around the Compound. She spent the first few minutes of her time there pacing around the grounds, mumbling to herself about how this whole thing must have been some mistake. She was still doing that as she approached the gate. She was going to get out of there, she knew it.
"I'm not supposed to be here. I'm a good person. I'm a real American. I have tons of friends back home. This has to be a mistake."
She was going to march right up to that gate and let those people know that they picked the wrong girl. It was probably some sort of clerical error or something. It had to be. Maybe someone just threw her name into the hat where the must have picked them from by mistake. That was surely the explanation.
She saw a boy and a girl by said gate. They must have thought the same thing. "Oh. Excuse me, hello!" Jennifer picked up the pace and waved at them to get their attention. "Hi. I can see that we all thought the same thing." She smiled and kept her hands together. She wasn't even going to touch that knife they left her. She had shoved that thing in the bag as quick as could be.
"Jennifer Steinman. What are your names?" She asked, trying to be warm and friendly and not seem desperate to think about anything else other than the fact that she was there.
Oh god. You're thinking about it. Stop it Jen. This is a mistake. It has to be. Maybe with these two, we can convince those people that we, or at least I, don't belong here. They must be willing to help. They have to.
There was once a dumb psuedo-news line here. Now there's this pretentious nonsense. YOU1 DID THIS, YOU1 KNOW WHO YOU1 ARE!
1. Yeah you, you nefarious ne'er-do-well you.
1. Yeah you, you nefarious ne'er-do-well you.
-
Casey The Undead*
- Posts: 196
- Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2018 3:44 am
"Hey? I'm David Burn, and if I had a nickel for every person in this compound more of a badass than me right now, I would have no nickels."
Megan looked up. Dave? Dave from English? Why is he introducing himself to me? We fucking know each othe-Oh right. The helmet. Not only are you a brilliant and fashionable item, you also protect my identity! Wicked freaking sweet!
"'Sup?"
She sighed and rolled her eyes. Dave, Dave, Dave. She opened her mouth to snap out her very witty and well thought out retort when another voice caught her off guard.
"Oh. Excuse me, hello!"
Megan quirked an eyebrow at the new girl. Who the fuck says Hello? What is she British? 'Oh Hellllloooooo good sir. May I trouble you for the time'. Even in her mind her British accent sucked. She winced.
"Jennifer Steinman. What are your names?"
Oh Christ- how could anyone be so damn polite?
Megan stood up, pulling off the helmet as she did so. "First off, Dave. Hi. It's me. Megan. From English. Secondly, here, have a nickle." She pulled a nickle out of her pocket, waving it in front of her face. "Thirdly, Jennifer? Yeah, I'mma call you Jenny, and I'm Megan, and this douchenozzle is Dave. Don't worry he's not that bad. Kinda."
She shook her head, sighing deeply. "And this-" she waved the helmet around in front of their faces. "This here is my good friend Mr. Helmet. Also known as Mr. Irony and Mr. Oh God I'm Going to Die On This Island Because I Got a Freaking Football Helmet as a Weapon Holy Shit." She deadpanned the words, expression never changing. Even when she was fighting for her life she managed to be a snarky bitch.
"Right. So Jenny, considering I don't know you, why don't you tell us about yourself? Personally, I'm a Leo, and I enjoy reality TV and long walks on the beach. How about you? Oh, also, are you going to kill me, because if you are, I'd love to know beforehand. Kay, thanks."
Megan sighed. Oh God. Me and my big fucking mouth. I am so dead.
Megan looked up. Dave? Dave from English? Why is he introducing himself to me? We fucking know each othe-Oh right. The helmet. Not only are you a brilliant and fashionable item, you also protect my identity! Wicked freaking sweet!
"'Sup?"
She sighed and rolled her eyes. Dave, Dave, Dave. She opened her mouth to snap out her very witty and well thought out retort when another voice caught her off guard.
"Oh. Excuse me, hello!"
Megan quirked an eyebrow at the new girl. Who the fuck says Hello? What is she British? 'Oh Hellllloooooo good sir. May I trouble you for the time'. Even in her mind her British accent sucked. She winced.
"Jennifer Steinman. What are your names?"
Oh Christ- how could anyone be so damn polite?
Megan stood up, pulling off the helmet as she did so. "First off, Dave. Hi. It's me. Megan. From English. Secondly, here, have a nickle." She pulled a nickle out of her pocket, waving it in front of her face. "Thirdly, Jennifer? Yeah, I'mma call you Jenny, and I'm Megan, and this douchenozzle is Dave. Don't worry he's not that bad. Kinda."
She shook her head, sighing deeply. "And this-" she waved the helmet around in front of their faces. "This here is my good friend Mr. Helmet. Also known as Mr. Irony and Mr. Oh God I'm Going to Die On This Island Because I Got a Freaking Football Helmet as a Weapon Holy Shit." She deadpanned the words, expression never changing. Even when she was fighting for her life she managed to be a snarky bitch.
"Right. So Jenny, considering I don't know you, why don't you tell us about yourself? Personally, I'm a Leo, and I enjoy reality TV and long walks on the beach. How about you? Oh, also, are you going to kill me, because if you are, I'd love to know beforehand. Kay, thanks."
Megan sighed. Oh God. Me and my big fucking mouth. I am so dead.
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the handler Casey The Undead. While this handler hasn't been around in quite a while, should they return and wish to take custody of this account and/or its posts, they are welcome to do so by contacting staff.
Oh, right, Megan, the airhead from English who never shut up. What a surprise that he would find her here, talking to a football helmet. No, really. Shock of the century right there. However, she certainly had the required element of spunk he needed- he needed to find a better term for that and fast- and, well, every good badass ensemble needed the token idiot.
"Oh, right, so you pull out a Nickel to prove my point, great." Dave swiped the nickel and put it in his pocket. "I'll be taking this. Anyway, my point still stands."
Another person joined. Jennifer Steinman. He didn't recognise her; he was sure she was in a class with him somewhere down the line but he didn't remember which. She had the politeness to introduce herself though, which Megan prevented him from doing. Thanks for that, Megan. Credit to the team and we haven't even hired you yet.
"Yep, Naming your football helmet. Great, that's amazing. Where was I?" Dave pulled out his pipe wrench. So badass. Totally. "Oh, right. I'm David Burn, and Megan just stole my introductory line and I can't be fucked to think of another one. Suffice to say I'm a badass, though. This is Janice, pipe wrench extraordinare and my new best friend."
Another step back. Slowly but surely, he was feeling a lot less like a badass. Given how he was afraid right now of getting kicked in the shins. How the fuck was he gonna fare in a knife fight? God he hadn't thought this one through at all. Shit, shit and shit once more.
Wait, did Megan think of all the people that were gonna kill her it'd be him and Jennifer Steinman (whoever she was)? Sorry, wasn't gonna happen.
"I'm actually an axe murdering psychopath in my free time, did I ever mention that?" Dave put on as mocking a tone as he could muster. "Yes, I'm totally going to kill you run for your life."
"Oh, right, so you pull out a Nickel to prove my point, great." Dave swiped the nickel and put it in his pocket. "I'll be taking this. Anyway, my point still stands."
Another person joined. Jennifer Steinman. He didn't recognise her; he was sure she was in a class with him somewhere down the line but he didn't remember which. She had the politeness to introduce herself though, which Megan prevented him from doing. Thanks for that, Megan. Credit to the team and we haven't even hired you yet.
"Yep, Naming your football helmet. Great, that's amazing. Where was I?" Dave pulled out his pipe wrench. So badass. Totally. "Oh, right. I'm David Burn, and Megan just stole my introductory line and I can't be fucked to think of another one. Suffice to say I'm a badass, though. This is Janice, pipe wrench extraordinare and my new best friend."
Another step back. Slowly but surely, he was feeling a lot less like a badass. Given how he was afraid right now of getting kicked in the shins. How the fuck was he gonna fare in a knife fight? God he hadn't thought this one through at all. Shit, shit and shit once more.
Wait, did Megan think of all the people that were gonna kill her it'd be him and Jennifer Steinman (whoever she was)? Sorry, wasn't gonna happen.
"I'm actually an axe murdering psychopath in my free time, did I ever mention that?" Dave put on as mocking a tone as he could muster. "Yes, I'm totally going to kill you run for your life."
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the former handler Macha.
-
Lord_Shadow
- Posts: 536
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 2:43 am
- Team Affiliation: Emmy's Selkies
Jennifer couldn't have been more turned off by their respective introductions if they had been riding unicycles and yodeling in Pig Latin. Well, maybe that might be worse. She frowned and said to Megan, "And just what the fuck is your problem?" She immediately covered her mouth and regretted saying that. She had forgotten for a moment that other people actually watched this. And she was sure her parents would be watching for her.
"S-sorry." She shook her head. "God this is no way to meet fellow students. Since you asked, somewhat nicely, I might as well answer. First off, please don't call me Jenny. It's Jennifer, or Jen, or J if you must. Secondly, I'm surprised that you don't know me since I'm one of the most popular girls at General's Pride. I have more friends that I know what to do with. Third, and most importantly, no I'm not going to kill you because I'm not a psycho and I'm not armed."
That was a lie and yet the truth at the exact same time. She wasn't armed at the moment, but she did have that knife in her bag. She sure wasn't going to take it out though. Did anyone really expect her to fight? There was no way in hell that she would fight against other students for her life. There had to be a way out of here.
And so she asked. "What I am going to do is find a way out of this place. I've seen how these things go down. I am not going to let that happen if I have anything to say about it. The people who put us here had to have made a mistake. I for one, am going to let them know it."
She sighed. All of her niceness and cheer just seemed to disappear the moment the other two, well mostly Megan, opened their mouths. So she sounded a bit crabby, but that didn't matter. What mattered was getting out of this place before it turned from a bad dream to a nightmare. Jennifer had a feeling that was going to happen real soon seeing as how both of these two had taken to naming their goddamn weapons.
"S-sorry." She shook her head. "God this is no way to meet fellow students. Since you asked, somewhat nicely, I might as well answer. First off, please don't call me Jenny. It's Jennifer, or Jen, or J if you must. Secondly, I'm surprised that you don't know me since I'm one of the most popular girls at General's Pride. I have more friends that I know what to do with. Third, and most importantly, no I'm not going to kill you because I'm not a psycho and I'm not armed."
That was a lie and yet the truth at the exact same time. She wasn't armed at the moment, but she did have that knife in her bag. She sure wasn't going to take it out though. Did anyone really expect her to fight? There was no way in hell that she would fight against other students for her life. There had to be a way out of here.
And so she asked. "What I am going to do is find a way out of this place. I've seen how these things go down. I am not going to let that happen if I have anything to say about it. The people who put us here had to have made a mistake. I for one, am going to let them know it."
She sighed. All of her niceness and cheer just seemed to disappear the moment the other two, well mostly Megan, opened their mouths. So she sounded a bit crabby, but that didn't matter. What mattered was getting out of this place before it turned from a bad dream to a nightmare. Jennifer had a feeling that was going to happen real soon seeing as how both of these two had taken to naming their goddamn weapons.
There was once a dumb psuedo-news line here. Now there's this pretentious nonsense. YOU1 DID THIS, YOU1 KNOW WHO YOU1 ARE!
1. Yeah you, you nefarious ne'er-do-well you.
1. Yeah you, you nefarious ne'er-do-well you.
-
Casey The Undead*
- Posts: 196
- Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2018 3:44 am
"Yep, Naming your football helmet. Great, that's amazing. Where was I?... This is Janice, pipe wrench extraordinare and my new best friend."
"Hypocrite." Megan scoffed under her breath.
"I'm actually an axe murdering psychopath in my free time, did I ever mention that? Yes, I'm totally going to kill you run for your life."
"Remember Dave, I'm short, and I could totally kick you in the balls right now if I felt like it. So might want to watch your tone." Megan rolled her eyes, about a second away from just bitchslapping Dave and leaving. But he has a pipe wrench, which is better than Mr. Helmet, so right now, best to stick with him, I guess.
"And just what the fuck is your problem?" Megan was taken aback by Jenny's sudden tone. Not so polite after all. Right- beware the nice ones. Got it.
"First off, please don't call me Jenny. It's Jennifer, or Jen, or J if you must. Secondly, I'm surprised that you don't know me since I'm one of the most popular girls at General's Pride. I have more friends that I know what to do with. Third, and most importantly, no I'm not going to kill you because I'm not a psycho and I'm not armed."
Megan quirked an eyebrow, and crossed her arms, shifting her weight entirely onto one leg. She glanced Jenny...Jen...whatever, up and down, before nodding. Riiiight. Of course, a popular one. Lemme guess, she's also perfect in every way imaginable. Just what I need right now. But there was another part of Jen's statement that caught Megan off guard.
"Wait, not armed? They seriously didn't give you a weapon Jen? Now I'm no expert or anything, but I've been watching the Program a long time now, and I don't think they've ever just not given someone a weapon. Do you know what that tells me Jen? That tells me that we've known each other five minutes and you're already lying to my face, which really isn't the best way to start this friendship, now is it?" Megan snapped the words out, not appreciating the lies spewing out of this girl.
Goddammit, if I keep acting like a bitch I'm gonna get myself killed! Megan shook her head, relaxing her arms and sighing, yet again.
"Shit. I'm acting like a bitch. I'm sorry. Look, Jen, I don't believe you're unarmed but if you don't want to tell me, then whatever. And I'm sorry I called you a douchenozzle Dave. On the upside, you got a nickle, so yay?" She groaned.
"I'm not usually like this...well, I am, but usually I'm a lot funnier and nicer. I'm just...shit. I'm just really fucking scared right now, and all I got was this stupid helmet and..." She swallowed back the tears. Don't lose it! Not yet! "I don't want to die." Tears didn't come, which Megan was thankful for. She bit her lip, frowning a bit.
"Okay. So now that that's all out of the way, let's focus. I won't kill you two if you two don't kill me. Deal? I vote we stick together, for now at least. It's just...safer, I guess. Okay?"
God. I hope I didn't fuck this up already.
"Hypocrite." Megan scoffed under her breath.
"I'm actually an axe murdering psychopath in my free time, did I ever mention that? Yes, I'm totally going to kill you run for your life."
"Remember Dave, I'm short, and I could totally kick you in the balls right now if I felt like it. So might want to watch your tone." Megan rolled her eyes, about a second away from just bitchslapping Dave and leaving. But he has a pipe wrench, which is better than Mr. Helmet, so right now, best to stick with him, I guess.
"And just what the fuck is your problem?" Megan was taken aback by Jenny's sudden tone. Not so polite after all. Right- beware the nice ones. Got it.
"First off, please don't call me Jenny. It's Jennifer, or Jen, or J if you must. Secondly, I'm surprised that you don't know me since I'm one of the most popular girls at General's Pride. I have more friends that I know what to do with. Third, and most importantly, no I'm not going to kill you because I'm not a psycho and I'm not armed."
Megan quirked an eyebrow, and crossed her arms, shifting her weight entirely onto one leg. She glanced Jenny...Jen...whatever, up and down, before nodding. Riiiight. Of course, a popular one. Lemme guess, she's also perfect in every way imaginable. Just what I need right now. But there was another part of Jen's statement that caught Megan off guard.
"Wait, not armed? They seriously didn't give you a weapon Jen? Now I'm no expert or anything, but I've been watching the Program a long time now, and I don't think they've ever just not given someone a weapon. Do you know what that tells me Jen? That tells me that we've known each other five minutes and you're already lying to my face, which really isn't the best way to start this friendship, now is it?" Megan snapped the words out, not appreciating the lies spewing out of this girl.
Goddammit, if I keep acting like a bitch I'm gonna get myself killed! Megan shook her head, relaxing her arms and sighing, yet again.
"Shit. I'm acting like a bitch. I'm sorry. Look, Jen, I don't believe you're unarmed but if you don't want to tell me, then whatever. And I'm sorry I called you a douchenozzle Dave. On the upside, you got a nickle, so yay?" She groaned.
"I'm not usually like this...well, I am, but usually I'm a lot funnier and nicer. I'm just...shit. I'm just really fucking scared right now, and all I got was this stupid helmet and..." She swallowed back the tears. Don't lose it! Not yet! "I don't want to die." Tears didn't come, which Megan was thankful for. She bit her lip, frowning a bit.
"Okay. So now that that's all out of the way, let's focus. I won't kill you two if you two don't kill me. Deal? I vote we stick together, for now at least. It's just...safer, I guess. Okay?"
God. I hope I didn't fuck this up already.
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the handler Casey The Undead. While this handler hasn't been around in quite a while, should they return and wish to take custody of this account and/or its posts, they are welcome to do so by contacting staff.
"The balls, Megan? Really?" Dave raised an eyebrow. "You can jump that high?"
Ignored any comebacks to that one; if she said anything really annoying he'd just say a generic "how's the weather down there, by the way?". Dammit, Megan. This is why you don't draw attention to your shortness, okay? Dave was perfectly content not making jokes and now you've set him off.
Right, with that out of the way, Jennifer just started bitching for no reason about getting her name wrong- fuck it, now Dave'd be doing that on purpose too- and mentioned she wasn't armed. Good, Dave and Janice were still on top in the badass weapon stakes, then.
Megan started ranting. Dave blanked, basically shutting off as Megan kept talking, and talking, and talking. Was it really worth putting up with that crap just to have his own personal arm rest? He guessed so, but she really wasn't winning any points with him right now.
Then she apologised. Dave didn't know what for, given the whole lack of fucks he was giving as she was ranting, but it'd be impolite to not at least make a joke over it to make it seem like he'd been listening.
"No, it's okay, Megan. Don't worry about it!" Dave smiled a fake smile. "No, really. We're bros now. Beast bros. Lets go have a clambake or something to celebrate!"
"Or... Or... What about we go get the metaphorical fuck out of Dodge?" Dave shook his head. "Shit would get so real it's untrue."
Ignored any comebacks to that one; if she said anything really annoying he'd just say a generic "how's the weather down there, by the way?". Dammit, Megan. This is why you don't draw attention to your shortness, okay? Dave was perfectly content not making jokes and now you've set him off.
Right, with that out of the way, Jennifer just started bitching for no reason about getting her name wrong- fuck it, now Dave'd be doing that on purpose too- and mentioned she wasn't armed. Good, Dave and Janice were still on top in the badass weapon stakes, then.
Megan started ranting. Dave blanked, basically shutting off as Megan kept talking, and talking, and talking. Was it really worth putting up with that crap just to have his own personal arm rest? He guessed so, but she really wasn't winning any points with him right now.
Then she apologised. Dave didn't know what for, given the whole lack of fucks he was giving as she was ranting, but it'd be impolite to not at least make a joke over it to make it seem like he'd been listening.
"No, it's okay, Megan. Don't worry about it!" Dave smiled a fake smile. "No, really. We're bros now. Beast bros. Lets go have a clambake or something to celebrate!"
"Or... Or... What about we go get the metaphorical fuck out of Dodge?" Dave shook his head. "Shit would get so real it's untrue."
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the former handler Macha.
-
Lord_Shadow
- Posts: 536
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 2:43 am
- Team Affiliation: Emmy's Selkies
Jennifer was surprised at Megan's apology. She hadn't expected things to go like this. Everyone was so on edge, so afraid and alone. She looked at David. He actually didn't seem so on edge. He just seemed like he thought being in this damn place was the perfect excuse to ramp up his ego-maniacal ways.
She sighed. Of all the people to get stuck with at the beginning of this thing, she had to get stuck with these people. That wasn't going to be fun. But she knew better than to try and get out of it. Seeing as how the others wanted to leave, she decided to abandon her plan to appeal to the organizer's better judgment.
She was still sure that she didn't belong in The Program. No one could convince her otherwise. But abandoning a group just to hope against hope that someone else would realize that was stupid. "I'm sorry if you think I lied. The truth is I really don't want to think about actually playing this sick game. So for now consider me a pacifist. I'm not even going to touch what they gave me." Once again, another lie. What was wrong with her? She didn't lie, that much, for no reason. Not when there was nothing to be gained.
If the need rose up, she'd grab the knife and defend herself. But why take a chance? Most people would be reluctant to attack someone without a visible means of defense. Some wouldn't be so reluctant to do that but then she could just get the knife and make them go away. Euphemistically or otherwise.
She wasn't happy with the fact that these two seemed content to just keep swearing. Personally she didn't have a problem with it but her parent's certainly would. Then again, they couldn't exactly do anything about it. She decided to just go along with it. "You've got yourself a deal. If the three of us stick together we can find a way to make it through this. I'll be sure to help out in anyway I can." Liar liar. "God I hope I can find some respectable people soon."
"And I totally agree with whatever the hell it is you just said David. Dodge and real shit and all that. Let's get the hell out of here. Megan?" The slowest person set the pace after all. As long as they did something rather than just stand there, Jen didn't care. "Jenny. Seriously. What a childish nickname."
She sighed. Of all the people to get stuck with at the beginning of this thing, she had to get stuck with these people. That wasn't going to be fun. But she knew better than to try and get out of it. Seeing as how the others wanted to leave, she decided to abandon her plan to appeal to the organizer's better judgment.
She was still sure that she didn't belong in The Program. No one could convince her otherwise. But abandoning a group just to hope against hope that someone else would realize that was stupid. "I'm sorry if you think I lied. The truth is I really don't want to think about actually playing this sick game. So for now consider me a pacifist. I'm not even going to touch what they gave me." Once again, another lie. What was wrong with her? She didn't lie, that much, for no reason. Not when there was nothing to be gained.
If the need rose up, she'd grab the knife and defend herself. But why take a chance? Most people would be reluctant to attack someone without a visible means of defense. Some wouldn't be so reluctant to do that but then she could just get the knife and make them go away. Euphemistically or otherwise.
She wasn't happy with the fact that these two seemed content to just keep swearing. Personally she didn't have a problem with it but her parent's certainly would. Then again, they couldn't exactly do anything about it. She decided to just go along with it. "You've got yourself a deal. If the three of us stick together we can find a way to make it through this. I'll be sure to help out in anyway I can." Liar liar. "God I hope I can find some respectable people soon."
"And I totally agree with whatever the hell it is you just said David. Dodge and real shit and all that. Let's get the hell out of here. Megan?" The slowest person set the pace after all. As long as they did something rather than just stand there, Jen didn't care. "Jenny. Seriously. What a childish nickname."
There was once a dumb psuedo-news line here. Now there's this pretentious nonsense. YOU1 DID THIS, YOU1 KNOW WHO YOU1 ARE!
1. Yeah you, you nefarious ne'er-do-well you.
1. Yeah you, you nefarious ne'er-do-well you.
-
Casey The Undead*
- Posts: 196
- Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2018 3:44 am
"No, it's okay, Megan. Don't worry about it! No, really. We're bros now. Beast bros. Lets go have a clambake or something to celebrate!"
Oh he is just asking for a Bitchslap, isn't he?
"Or... Or... What about we go get the metaphorical fuck out of Dodge? Shit would get so real it's untrue."
Megan sighed, rolling her eyes. So she got stuck with the cocky asshole and the bitchy lying popular girl? Okay, place your bets. I got 10-1 odds that Dave takes her out with the wrench, 5-1 odds that Jenny snaps and blows her brains while they're asleep, place yours bets, place your bets!
"You've got yourself a deal. If the three of us stick together we can find a way to make it through this. I'll be sure to help out in anyway I can."
For some reason she found this statement very doubtful. Megan wasn't usually one to trust people right off the bat anyway, but maybe the new setting and the whole "fight or die" thing was setting her on edge. Dave won't attack- he's stupid, but not that stupid. But Jenny...she won't even tell us her weapon. What's she hiding? Damnit, five minutes in and I'm already convinced that everyone is out to get me.
"Paranoia will destroy ya." Megan whispered, shaking her head. She looked up at the two others. "Alright, where exactly do you two suggest we go. I...I think we have a map..." She picked her bag up off the ground, pulling the map out and opening it so the other two could see.
"Oh, also, before we go, maybe we ought to set some ground rules. I mean, call me crazy, but I have this feeling we're going to piss each other off rather quickly. Firstly, Jen, if you want me to trust you at all, you're going to tell us what weapon you have before nightfall, got it? Secondly, Dave, chill out on the whole 'badass asshole' routine, before I smack you. Third, no freaking out- no tears, no vomit, none of that. We start losing our minds, then things get messy. And finally, no running off without telling us- I've watched a lot of Programs and a lot of Horror Movies and 'let's split up' is what gets everyone killed. Got it?"
She stopped, knowing that Dave and Jen probably wouldn't give shit about her rules and would just ignore them entirely. Even with allies, I'm alone in this game.
"Okay. Everyone good?"
Oh he is just asking for a Bitchslap, isn't he?
"Or... Or... What about we go get the metaphorical fuck out of Dodge? Shit would get so real it's untrue."
Megan sighed, rolling her eyes. So she got stuck with the cocky asshole and the bitchy lying popular girl? Okay, place your bets. I got 10-1 odds that Dave takes her out with the wrench, 5-1 odds that Jenny snaps and blows her brains while they're asleep, place yours bets, place your bets!
"You've got yourself a deal. If the three of us stick together we can find a way to make it through this. I'll be sure to help out in anyway I can."
For some reason she found this statement very doubtful. Megan wasn't usually one to trust people right off the bat anyway, but maybe the new setting and the whole "fight or die" thing was setting her on edge. Dave won't attack- he's stupid, but not that stupid. But Jenny...she won't even tell us her weapon. What's she hiding? Damnit, five minutes in and I'm already convinced that everyone is out to get me.
"Paranoia will destroy ya." Megan whispered, shaking her head. She looked up at the two others. "Alright, where exactly do you two suggest we go. I...I think we have a map..." She picked her bag up off the ground, pulling the map out and opening it so the other two could see.
"Oh, also, before we go, maybe we ought to set some ground rules. I mean, call me crazy, but I have this feeling we're going to piss each other off rather quickly. Firstly, Jen, if you want me to trust you at all, you're going to tell us what weapon you have before nightfall, got it? Secondly, Dave, chill out on the whole 'badass asshole' routine, before I smack you. Third, no freaking out- no tears, no vomit, none of that. We start losing our minds, then things get messy. And finally, no running off without telling us- I've watched a lot of Programs and a lot of Horror Movies and 'let's split up' is what gets everyone killed. Got it?"
She stopped, knowing that Dave and Jen probably wouldn't give shit about her rules and would just ignore them entirely. Even with allies, I'm alone in this game.
"Okay. Everyone good?"
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the handler Casey The Undead. While this handler hasn't been around in quite a while, should they return and wish to take custody of this account and/or its posts, they are welcome to do so by contacting staff.
Megan asked where they were going. Didn't Dave already say he had no fucking clue where to go? He swore he had. Fucking Déjà vu. Ruins everyone's fun.
Megan then proceeded to make a list of rules for Dave- and Jenny over there, couldn't forget about her- to promptly ignore. Fairly mundane shit, really, ranging from "don't shit yourself" to "don't run off because people who run off get eaten by fat kids" but nothing that really caught Dave's attention. Wait. Second rule was directed at him. Dave asked her to repeat that one. Cutting out the "Badass Asshole" routine? That was like telling him to stop breathing.
Dave shook his head at that one.
"Yeah, you'll have better luck teaching a monkey piano."
More rules. Followed by more. God, did she ever shut up? Megan was like, the girl of 1004 rules or some shit like that. Was all this ally-making shit really worth it just so he could get a personal armrest until one of those giant fuckers like Brett or Harris came and wasted them? Probably, but Dave honestly had his doubts, now. On his own he wouldn't have them holding him back, wouldn't have to pick up their asses when they fucked up. But, on his own, they wouldn't be there to do the same.
He shook his head again. Fuck it. Follow them now, ditch them when they do something dumb. Megan wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the box, and Dave had never met Jenny before but she was probably dumb too. Yeah, sounded like the best choice. He'd live longer that way. There, he'd decided. His decision was made and he wasn't going back on it.
"I'm good," Dave slid his pipe wrench back down his pants, raised his elbow and rested it on Megan's shoulder. "Let's go."
((Dave Burn, continued in Falling to Pieces.))
Megan then proceeded to make a list of rules for Dave- and Jenny over there, couldn't forget about her- to promptly ignore. Fairly mundane shit, really, ranging from "don't shit yourself" to "don't run off because people who run off get eaten by fat kids" but nothing that really caught Dave's attention. Wait. Second rule was directed at him. Dave asked her to repeat that one. Cutting out the "Badass Asshole" routine? That was like telling him to stop breathing.
Dave shook his head at that one.
"Yeah, you'll have better luck teaching a monkey piano."
More rules. Followed by more. God, did she ever shut up? Megan was like, the girl of 1004 rules or some shit like that. Was all this ally-making shit really worth it just so he could get a personal armrest until one of those giant fuckers like Brett or Harris came and wasted them? Probably, but Dave honestly had his doubts, now. On his own he wouldn't have them holding him back, wouldn't have to pick up their asses when they fucked up. But, on his own, they wouldn't be there to do the same.
He shook his head again. Fuck it. Follow them now, ditch them when they do something dumb. Megan wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the box, and Dave had never met Jenny before but she was probably dumb too. Yeah, sounded like the best choice. He'd live longer that way. There, he'd decided. His decision was made and he wasn't going back on it.
"I'm good," Dave slid his pipe wrench back down his pants, raised his elbow and rested it on Megan's shoulder. "Let's go."
((Dave Burn, continued in Falling to Pieces.))
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the former handler Macha.
-
Lord_Shadow
- Posts: 536
- Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 2:43 am
- Team Affiliation: Emmy's Selkies
Jennifer just smiled as Megan set down her little rules. Who the hell did she think she was, telling Jen what to do? No one told Jennifer what to do. Ever. Well, except for her mother... and her teachers...
Jennifer shook her head. It wasn't the time to be like that. Jennifer was her own authority here. So she wasn't going to let anyone tell her what to do. But for the moment she'd play along.
"Right, whatever you say. But rather than just keep making up more arbitrary rules why don't we just get out of here already. I know enough about this Program that sticking around in one location for an extended period of time is a bad idea."
She looked at Dave. Unbelievable narcissistic self-proclaimed bad-ass that he was, he was right. Megan would have more luck with that than getting other people to do what she said. The girl knew nothing of manipulation and subtle control of others. Give them what they think they want and they do what you actually want. That's just the basics.
Jennifer smiled. "All right then, I promise I'll show you before nightfall. Now let's get going."
((Jennifer Steinman continued in Falling to Pieces))
Jennifer shook her head. It wasn't the time to be like that. Jennifer was her own authority here. So she wasn't going to let anyone tell her what to do. But for the moment she'd play along.
"Right, whatever you say. But rather than just keep making up more arbitrary rules why don't we just get out of here already. I know enough about this Program that sticking around in one location for an extended period of time is a bad idea."
She looked at Dave. Unbelievable narcissistic self-proclaimed bad-ass that he was, he was right. Megan would have more luck with that than getting other people to do what she said. The girl knew nothing of manipulation and subtle control of others. Give them what they think they want and they do what you actually want. That's just the basics.
Jennifer smiled. "All right then, I promise I'll show you before nightfall. Now let's get going."
((Jennifer Steinman continued in Falling to Pieces))
There was once a dumb psuedo-news line here. Now there's this pretentious nonsense. YOU1 DID THIS, YOU1 KNOW WHO YOU1 ARE!
1. Yeah you, you nefarious ne'er-do-well you.
1. Yeah you, you nefarious ne'er-do-well you.
-
Casey The Undead*
- Posts: 196
- Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2018 3:44 am
Megan blinked, and Dave and Jen were marching away from her.
Well that's great. Real fucking great. I try to save these peoples fucking lives, and they ignore me. Awesome. One of them better die, or run soon, or I swear to God I'm going to lose my mind.
She signed, rubbing her temple. She always had the option to walk the other way. She could always go in a different direction, find different people, maybe ones who weren't such assholes and actually listened when she tried to fucking helping them. But she could always run into people who were (somehow) less friendly, and wind up with her brains on the ground- which was even less appealing than spending another five minutes with Dave and Jen. Even if he did think it was acceptable to use her as an armrest.
Then again, people have been doing that to me my whole life, so why stop now?
She very deeply doubted that she could trust either Dave or Jen. Right now, they only seemed to be trying to appease her- which was rather funny from Megan's perspective. Why even pretend to stand her? She had a fucking football helmet! There was nothing she could do- either of them could just tell her to piss off. And yet, for some reason, they enjoyed humoring her.
Whatever. It didn't matter. Dave was right- she'd have better luck teaching him piano. I'm fairly certain a monkey is smarter than that self-assured asshole.
And she was also positive that the only way Jen would ever show Megan her weapon was when it was piercing Megan's skull and leaving her nothing more than a pile of guts on the ground.
Well, looks like I was right. I really am fucked.
Megan grinned. "Ahh, it's a wonderful day to be fucked over by your government, isn't it?"
She followed the others. I swear to God you two, if you get me killed, I am so haunting your damned asses.
((Megan Jacobson continued in Falling to Pieces))
Well that's great. Real fucking great. I try to save these peoples fucking lives, and they ignore me. Awesome. One of them better die, or run soon, or I swear to God I'm going to lose my mind.
She signed, rubbing her temple. She always had the option to walk the other way. She could always go in a different direction, find different people, maybe ones who weren't such assholes and actually listened when she tried to fucking helping them. But she could always run into people who were (somehow) less friendly, and wind up with her brains on the ground- which was even less appealing than spending another five minutes with Dave and Jen. Even if he did think it was acceptable to use her as an armrest.
Then again, people have been doing that to me my whole life, so why stop now?
She very deeply doubted that she could trust either Dave or Jen. Right now, they only seemed to be trying to appease her- which was rather funny from Megan's perspective. Why even pretend to stand her? She had a fucking football helmet! There was nothing she could do- either of them could just tell her to piss off. And yet, for some reason, they enjoyed humoring her.
Whatever. It didn't matter. Dave was right- she'd have better luck teaching him piano. I'm fairly certain a monkey is smarter than that self-assured asshole.
And she was also positive that the only way Jen would ever show Megan her weapon was when it was piercing Megan's skull and leaving her nothing more than a pile of guts on the ground.
Well, looks like I was right. I really am fucked.
Megan grinned. "Ahh, it's a wonderful day to be fucked over by your government, isn't it?"
She followed the others. I swear to God you two, if you get me killed, I am so haunting your damned asses.
((Megan Jacobson continued in Falling to Pieces))
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the handler Casey The Undead. While this handler hasn't been around in quite a while, should they return and wish to take custody of this account and/or its posts, they are welcome to do so by contacting staff.