SOTF Archive/SOTF Classic

When he left with Ivy on day two—he blamed it on the drugs. When he left with Meilin on day four—it was obviously because of their history. Sakurako on day ten? Well, your guess was as good as his.

Personally? Ace blamed it on Ivy.

He was tired of fighting while at the same time being resigned to doing nothing but. Beats was a murderer two times over and he only felt ashamed because he was not ashamed. He never looked at his victims in the eyes. He shot ‘em in the back and caught ‘em by surprise. Collateral Damage would be the name of his mixtape. He’d have Ivy and Parker’s baby pictures on the cover.

The bullet wound he had taken from Myles still ached with pain but like anything with enough time he had gotten used to it. It was mind over matter, right? The pain made him angry and the anger made him scared. Fear wasn’t bad, right? Fear was fuel, that’s what he always said. Fear gave the gazelle the speed to outrun the cheetah. Fear gave the dog enough power to pull little Tommy out the well.

It was bullshit. He knew he wasn’t built like that.

Aliya wrote: "No shame in not being built for it. Some people just aren't.”

Had she even believed that? Did he?




Mammals were drawn to water like moths were to flame and humans were to each other. Beats barely counted as a human in his eyes but he was still very much a mammal. There was a certain freedom in relying on instinct. You didn’t have to think so much, you could just do. Didn’t Bruce Lee say that shit? Or was it Yoda?

“Well, there it is…big ol’ fuckin’ lake.”

Having Saku with him was as practical as it was dangerous. She could read a map and had a better sense of direction than Ace. She was slow because of her leg—but she didn’t complain much either. Teflon Jackson. Took on everything with a smirk and a smile. Even after all that had changed, that remained the same. He had visions of her crying and sobbing about the death of her boyfriend. They had exchanged more stories of their individual times on the island. There wasn’t much else to talk about aside from food and random nonsense like Beyoncé vs. Rihanna.

They had mostly stuck to the path as it was designed before cutting through some forest. They had come up on a weird part of the lake with no readily apparent structure next to it. Just a small bit of shoreline at the edge of some woods. It seemed isolated enough, Ace hoped it was. It wouldn’t be a good look to cuddle with the cripple and then leave her to get killed by an axe murderer.

He was well beyond trying to look good though.

“I dunno if I trust that water to be honest fam.”

You could call this place Lake Eerie and wouldn't be wrong.

((Sakurako A. Jackson continued from The Original Kings of Comedy))

But it was as good as anywhere else. Besides, there were no bad memories attached to it for her. Maybe this might even be a good one. Maybe pigs would fly, maybe she'd be able to live with herself without guilt choking her out. At least she was still good for casual chit-chat, like stating in no uncertain terms that she'd seen RihRih in enough Carnival outfits to be a full convert.

Heh, maybe the Beyhive would find a way to get her somehow.

It wasn't very scenic. In fact, the more she thought about it the more it felt like she was in an opener of a horror movie. Dumb teens making out in an unsafe place and ah, stop right there!

"I wouldn't drink it, or go for a swim, but it should be okay to wash up in. 'Less there's a monster in the depths."

She looked up at Ace, her smile more than a little ornery. Holding hands ran a pleasant buzz down her spine that hadn't had the decency to go away, much like Sakurako didn't have the decency to leave Meilin's boyfriend alone.

"And is there any chance the Loch Ness is scarier than you or me?"

“Me? No way,” he said with a smile, “You? Maybe.”

Ace gripped her hand tighter. He was a simple sort and he was far too sentimental about far too many things when it came to girls. The way they giggled and pouted and the strength they seemed to have endless amounts of. Beats had been a football player—the Carter twins had been coalesced forms of HGH. The toxic in toxic masculinity. Ace had loved them and thought they were the strongest dudes ever.

Meilin had been stronger than Wyatt, braver and more forgiving. Ivy was half his size and managed to run through the whole damn team. Ace was a cocktail of self-hate and guilt and Saku was largely the same—but one faced the day with a smile and one faced the day with a groan. He admired the picture his mind painted of her and he didn’t care if it was true or not. Perception was reality, nah? That strength was infectious and he was trying to absorb all he could via osmosis.

He shrugged off his bag on the shore. It had in it a pistol, the BR-18, his med-kit, his food/water and his ammo. His entire life in the duffel. He couldn’t tell you how good it felt to get that weight off his shoulders. He kicked off his shoes and peeled off the wet socks. Ten days, might as well have been ten years.

His feet ached and stunk to high heaven—Ace plopped on the ground and wiggled his toes.

Shirtless and armed with nothing but cargo-shorts that were stained in blood and basketball shorts he had been using as boxers. Clean up a bit? How clean could he even get out here? At home? He showered at minimum 3 times a day: once in the morning, once after practice and once before bed. He brushed and flossed after every meal. Ace’s breath felt hot and his body felt bruised. This was the new normal and it would feel weird getting used to anything else.

“Do you remember if anybody drowned in this bitch?”, he thought for a moment, “Claude the only one? Like, the announcement said it was somethin’ like a milestone or some shit.”

What would he do if he was washing his back and a dead body floated on by him? Or worse if he was scrubbing Saku’s back? Would he scream or would he shrug?

“I guess it is a big fuckin’ lake...," there was a consideration, "And worse things that could pop out on us than a dead body."

She liked the idea of facing down real monsters very much, and flashed a thumbs-up at Ace.

But thinking about a dead body, bloated by the water? Ick.

"If someone else drowned, I'd thank 'em to stay sleeping with the fishes."

Sakurako looked around at the shoreline, pondering something. Not being able to pace was annoying, but her mind's eye hadn't completely abandoned her yet. Limping, she moved her shopping cart behind some brush, taking one of the bags off the top. It was opened just so, slightly letting out the funky but comforting scent of durian. Putting the bag near where she assumed they'd get in the water, she picked a stick up off the ground and stuck it in to test the

SNAP

Of the bear trap.

That would work just fine.

Pumping the air, she reset the trap and flopped on the ground, starting to undo the splint that kept her leg steady. Thanks again Sean.

Another benefit to traveling with Saku—she was resourceful. She wasn’t quite helpless and although she had been traveling in a group for a long time, she also had gotten some hands on training on traveling with herself. Dealin' with her injury. Movin' smarter not harder. She toughed shit out. She planned more than she let on. The carefree expression was just an act and she wore it well. Ace had been around her long enough to become aware of her awareness.

With her leg, she knew she wouldn’t make it out of a danger zone, she had intimated as much to him. She was trying to anticipate where they were and where they were gonna be--be one step ahead of the terrorists. That was fine, Ace was counting on being one step ahead of Saku—injured leg made that easier. The callous and cruel part of his heart won and his better nature tapped out and called uncle.

Sorta.

It was tough to sleep next to someone you disliked. You couldn’t hug someone you didn’t care about. Hold the hands of a girl you despised? They punished kids like that. The reality was that he could front and he could fake—but the best lies had an element of truth in ‘em. She set her trap for the world and when she sat down she set a trap up for Ace Beats.

But was it a trap if you were lookin’ to get caught?

“You...,” he tried his best to sound normal, but he was lost in thought, "Uh...," looking at the bear trap and then at her in quick succession, “Need any help with that?”

"Are you sure you want to subject yourself to the agony of the feet?"

It wasn't very funny, but Sakurako always had been quick to laugh.

The lake seemed placid, but who knew what was under the surface. She let her legs rest on his thighs when he got close enough, feeling a little like the classmates she admired and feared all at once. In that world, she did her best to be invisible in plain sight. In this one, hiding was impossible. Sooner or later, you'd be found out.

Hell, she couldn't even hide from her own ugliness.

"But the setup's done, I think. Maybe toss a gun under a shirt, somewhere innocuous... not sure if that's too risky though. Gotta stay safe, huh?"

Hopefully it wouldn't be needed, because apparently she'd learned nothing about the futility of hope. The tension in her shoulders dropped, and she looked about as comfortable as a competitor in a death game could be. Did she trust Ace?

Another silly question.

“Well,” he offered as he finished taking off her splint and tried his best not to notice how long her legs were, “Maybe with one of your guns.”

He smiled…

“My plan was to just keep my bag close to the water and stay close to the shore, y’know? You only need to be like ankle deep to replicate a bath, right? Maybe knee deep if you feelin' extra frisky.”

What was the plan here? Clean up and relax? With Saku??? Was that the smartest thing to do? Should they take turns? Try and get it all out of the way all at once? Could he bring his gun into the water? Would that fuck up the gun? Was it like, a water resistant vs water proof type thing? He didn’t wanna risk it. He had worked hard to get those three guns. All three had bodies to their names. He wasn’t gonna lose ‘em or let all those deaths be for nuthin’.

The splint was off and placed next to her, the .45 was nearby but out of his grasp. He rubbed her leg a bit and massaged it lightly. It felt tender to the touch and it looked nasty. His eyes found the bear trap again—yeah, there was a reason she knew her way around it. Ace tried to change the subject, quickly. More for the sake of his mind than the sake of the conversation.

“Wish I had the sense to smuggle some hotel soap.”

He was awkward and bad at making small talk, even with a girl throwing herself in his lap, even on murder island—even when he had nothing to lose. Ace took comfort when comfort came. He let his mind wander into more pleasurable pastures when the only path presented was pain. He was a dreamer and his dreams often ended with and focused on him winning. Ace was aware of the selfishness...but being self-aware didn't make you selfless all of a sudden. Or less self centered.

“Man, I don’t even know where the fuck to begin cleanin up,” he finally said, “Or how to do it in a smart fuckin’ way,” he shook his head at Saku, “I think we’re gonna be paranoid and scared regardless, might as well just say fuck it and take the risk, right? If we can't be brave the least we could do is act like it.”

He paused…

“That's kinda dumb, sorry."

"Of course, of course. There's no need to fear, Underdog is here!"

His rubbing her leg ached, but that was probably good for the circulation. It was such an mess of bruising, but some of the odder colors seemed to be fading? With rest, it wouldn't be as much of an issue. Being truthful, she suspected this leg wasn't ever going to be right again.

Another for her endless list of wrongness.

"Dude, I feel like going waist-deep, soap or no soap. And I think you and your maybe-dumb ideas are right."

How much of Sakurako had died in the days that passed by? Every day was another blow more damaging than the last. With rest, it wouldn't be as much an issue.

What was life? What was freedom? What... was he looking at her legs? To test it, she wiggled her toes a little. There was joy in something as simple as that, and it felt good to remember what happiness felt like. It tasted, of course, like Cheez Its.

Tilting her head, she playfully tapped his lips with a finger.

"Thanks for reminding me to be brave."

“N-nuh-no problem,” he sputtered, “Why I’m here.”

So much for actin’ brave, huh? That’s all it took, really?

He couldn’t help but flinch and blush profusely when Saku put her finger to his lips. It was very, very forward. Well, maybe not very, very—Ivy had just straight up walked out butt ass on his ass. Still, it wasn’t exactly subtle. His hands were still on her legs, massaging them lightly and…somehow inching upwards? Stop! Stop! Stop! He listened, thankfully. His hands found the brim of his cap and he took it off, revealing the bandages she had placed on him last night, slightly less white due to the grime of the day.

The hat was placed atop the pistol, the big fuck you .45—was that an inconspicuous hiding place? It’d have to do.

Also, how much like him was that maneuver? Saying he wouldn’t do something and then just doing it? His mind wandered, unfortunately, over to Myles and the incident the night before he got shot. Why didn’t Ace just drop the gun off rip? And in the morning--why didn’t he just leave when he was told? Had he really wanted to stay…or did he just not like being told to leave? Ace had thought he was above the ego tripping and dick measuring and general visceral emotional violence of high school. Maybe he was—but he wasn’t bigger than the island.

Ace hadn’t dated in school (not until prom, really) and he never participated in the social backstabbing and rat racing. He went to class, he went to practice and he went home. Thank God for what he had done with blocking against that shaky defense, say it louder for the people in the back. He didn’t know jack shit about or really trusted many of his classmates. He hadn’t even planned to keep in touch with many of them after graduation. Meilin and Wyatt? Maybe? Connor and Bret, like, depending on how football had gone? The question remained--how could he know his peers when he barely knew himself?

It was easy to do anything in victory--it was only in defeat that you found yourself. Beats had lost quite enough the last few days. Ace didn’t like the part of him he had gotten to know.

They were very, very close. Her legs were still on his lap as he begun undoing the bandages on his chest and back, trying his best to gently fuck up the work she had done the night before. All this to be clean, huh?

Saku and Ace both knew that there were some sins that couldn’t be washed away.

A few quiet moments and his bandages were off. His wound looked better than it did the night before, the skin around it tender—but it didn’t look so puss-y and nasty. It didn’t seem to be, well, that infected. Somehow, someway. The arm still felt heavy and it was a struggle to move it. If he got out of here, it would take some rehab to get back in playing shape. DB's would forever target that side.

His mind turned to Saku’s legs, as did his eyes. He thought of his own injuries. His mind thought about the idea of having one like her. Ace still had a dream he was fighting for. Ace was still clinging onto a life that was long gone. He spoke a big game, even to himself, about wanting to go out like a Viking or one of them monks on fire. Dying for something more noble than you. What did he really want? The same thing he had always wanted. Ace had a dream and he had sacrificed blood, sweat and tears to get it. It wasn't right that it was taken from him. It wasn't right that he was forced to play these games with his own life and the lives of his peers. He didn't like it. He didn't want it.

Why did the idea of a leg injury fuck him up so much?

Conversation with Momma Beats wrote:“Football isn’t a guarantee, they like you now--but rupture a tendon and watch how those feelings change…”

“Adrian Peterson came back from total knee reconstruction.”

“You think you’re Adrian Peterson…?”

“I could be!”

“Ace, there’s plenty kids who end up paralyzed or never playing again, it’s a dangerous game and college ball is just going to be crazier.”

“Ma, I’ve never been hurt.”

“You’ve been lucky.”

“I’ve been good!”

How wrong had he been? How much of his life had been a waste? How much of himself had he given to a game? How much was he still giving?

“Well…,” he offered with a small smile, “Splish-splash I was takin’ a bath,” fake it till you make it, always has been, always would be, “Let’s do this thing.”

Look, Sakurako wasn't exactly a hoarder of casual friends. Sometimes she was too touchy when you let her close, but if she knew he'd thought that was a move, oh... the regrets! But she wasn't unaware enough not to notice his reaction, which was both gratifying and a little nerve-wracking. Ace had gone past her injury, his hands were nearing her thighs and it made her so, so nervous.

Probably a sports medicine thing.

Her eyes didn't leave his hands as he took off his cap, then started to remove the bandaging they'd done last night. Re-doing it would be easier in the light of day. Not so intense. Maybe she could do it without looking at all.

It was if it had just occurred to her, for the umpteenth time, that her crush on him had been dizzying even without the proximity.

Practically, he'd need another washing with a bottle of water. Doing all this for him to get infected here would be funny, but that irony would bring her no happiness.

Sighing, she hobbled herself up to standing, then walking to the lake. The water was just a few feet away, and if they were going in for a pound instead of a penny, she might as well get the super scary part over with. Her heart hadn't pounded quite like this since freshman year, just before going on stage and solidifying her identity. At least, the one people knew. Stretching, arms crossing her back, Sakurako pulled Cheridene's shirt up and over her head.

No turning around until she was in the water, even to know if he'd picked up his gun. Or was looking at her.

In her mind, her back was her best feature. Strong from lifting, curved just right, a suitable frame for her shoulders that were wider than she liked. She wished fear for her life was calculating at all into her thoughts, but...

Fools made feasts and wise men ate them. Here was lunch on a platter, but who's?

"Any chance this is heated? Maybe the marina's just down the way."

Whether the lake was heated or not—the block was for sure hot.

Sakurako got up and stumbled towards the lake with whatever grace her hobbled body could manage. There was a strength she had and Ace was desperate for bits of it. Sakurako Jackson—what memories did he have of her, really? Three lockers down…theater geek…

The way she stood right now. Fearless but proud, scared but strong—tall and somehow, someway, after ten days on murder island…pretty. Well, fuck, that was something, wasn’t it? Another vision of Saku came to his mind—a talent show. She had been really dolled up( she cleaned up real nice, he told her that, right?) and she had sung the theme song to Titanic. It was a little extra…but it had come from the heart. You could tell she really felt that shit with her whole soul.

Beats never got on the stage, it was too much to just post his art on the page. That kind of bravery made him jealous.

The distance from where he was sitting to the lake was only a few feet. He was gonna try and stay within 40 yards. 40 yards meant 4.5 seconds. Ace could give the world minus 4.5—those weren’t bad odds.

She had a real nice back though, like, let’s be real.

He stared at his hat, hiding his gun, he looked behind him and wondered if he was being pranked. Trapped. He half expected Justin or Blaise to burst in with an uzi and spray down the whole area. He half expected Saku to turn around and reveal her hidden pistol and put one between his eyes.

And then he said fuck it—because when you couldn’t be brave, you at least could pretend.

He worked his way up and slipped out of the crusty and dirty cargo shorts and soon it looked like he was ready for the beach. Basketball shorts serving as boxers and now as swim trunks. Not much else. Splish-splash, well, fuck it, you do the math. There wasn't much else left on his person to discard.

He walked up next to Saku and he stood shoulder with her. Bare shoulder to shoulder. He looked dead ahead. When he turned to her, he tried his best to keep eye contact. He wasn't that slick. Ace looked at her and then quickly looked away. His eyes ended up being focused pretty squarely forward fairly quickly. Not too quickly, though, that would've been impolite and stuff.

Yeah, he was the fucking worst.

“Prolly not,” he responded to her question, “But, like, best thing with the cold shit is like…just dive in, right?”

And then he did just that.

Never underestimate the power of ‘Fuck it’.

Quick as she could think, he was next to her. Their skin was touching.

Familiar, but differing. Electric. There might not be any higher education in the future that there also wasn't, but she was getting a very practical lesson in chemistry~

Ace's eyes met hers, then he... oh. Oh.

Yep. This was happening. This was her life. Right now. WHAT IF HER DAD SAW THIS OH NO OH

PAPA NO

That being said? Ace, eat your heart out. She was certainly getting her own look, and it was worth the price of admission, aside from ruffling her internal feathers. Her own regimen didn't really compare to any of the athletes of George Hunter High, and it showed. For her, it had been about quieting that voice in her head that said insisted that no version of herself would ever live up to who she was supposed to be.

A sensible girl, who knew how to make friends and influence people. The perfect Asian grand-daughter, Blackness be damned. A doctor/lawyer who also STEM'd and was worth bragging about.

Which was to say, not a failure and not a killer.

不名誉

Ace dived in like a fucking champ, and as she hoped he didn't hit his silly head, she gave a loud whoop. She shed the skirt she was wearing like skin, and let it cover Thomas's last gift to her. She'd come back to all those burdens once they'd cleaned up, surely. Maybe even before then. But once more, with feeling, the spirit of rebellion came into her heart.

"Ten out of ten!"

Clad in her panties, flushed and laughing like the fool she'd die being, Sakurako stepped into the chill of the water. Ankles, calves, knees, waist-

Her teeth chattered.

Reckless, impulsive and silly—The Ace Ortega story.

When his face hit the shallow water, he immediately felt his body elongate as he skimmed just below the top. The cool water rushed over him. It was wrong, he thought, how easy he managed to compartmentalize his pain and doubts. It never had been this easy before. Ace would get depressed about bad plays or games he lost and spend hours in his room, blasting sad, angry music in the dark. Beats was routinely crippled by doubt and insecurity—the field and the studio were the only places he got any respite.

Home was long gone but doubt and insecurity remained loyal companions. Ace had gotten used to their presence. They didn’t cripple him much anymore. Doubt, insecurity and guilt weren’t enough on their own keep him from doing anything. The island had taught him that.

When he rose from the shallow depths he had dived into, the water wasn’t much higher than his waist and he was a little farther from the shore than he wanted to be. His body was dripping and he rubbed wetness from his eyes. His attention turned to the shore and at his stuff, there for the taking for anyone willing to scurry in and take it. This was dangerous. Reckless. Impulsive. Silly. He almost wanted to go back immediately. Quick dunk in the water, that was clean enough. Right? But in for a penny and in for a pound.

His gaze shifted from the shore to Saku wading through the water towards him. What game was she playing? What game was he playing? It wasn’t checkers—it wasn’t Survival of the Fittest either. She was a lovely distraction, he thought, and it was easy to think that when she was wearing nothing but panties and walking straight at you.

Visions of Meilin, visions of Ivy, visions of bodies wriggling on top of one another—and then bodies on the floor. He knew how this ended. She was a lovely distraction, but his mind didn’t want to rest—his body disagreed and that was that. Guilt, insecurity and doubt weren’t enough to keep him from doing anything. He swallowed them with a gulp and waded his way towards Saku. She was cold—shivering and teeth clattering. She could barely walk.

Yeah, it was his noble spirit that had him walking right towards the topless eighteen-year old girl in nothing but her wet unmentionables. You believe that? Didn’t think so.

“It ain’t so bad once you get used to it, you just gotta commit,” he said as he waded towards her and reached towards her, extending his hand, “Though, like, it is kinda funny…”

He chuckled.

It was wrong, he thought, how easy it was for him to compartmentalize his pain and doubts and guilt. It was surprising, how easy it was, to put things behind you and just leave them behind you. A bad thing that happened to you was just a thing that happened to you. In football if you were thinking, you were losing. You couldn’t hesitate. You needed to be a being of instinct. Confidence. It was violence and war and they were trying to kill you. Doubt was poison and that poison slowed you down. This was a different game by a different name—but those rules remained the same. A game by any other name remained a game. He choked down that idea with a smile and tried his best to forget it.

Luckily, Saku was doin' a pretty good job of grabbing his focus. Luckily, he wasn't that complicated.

“Not even Murder Island can get a sister to willingly get their hair wet.”

Reckless, impulsive and silly--what else was new?

Sakurako didn't play games, really. She built things... so let's flip the question. What was she trying to build here?

Stairway to heaven? Highway to hell?

Goosebumps decorated her skin like the clothes on the shore, she couldn't tell if it was from the cold or her nerves. He came closer, she wanted to duck her head. Except that he was right, about her hair. She'd take being a sister with gladness, it wasn't anything she had to think about here in the water.

"And don't you forget it! Unless you're hiding a bottle of Johnson and Johnson, my hair's fucked if it gets any wetter."

She tossed her head, making her braided pigtails swing in the air. It felt odd, weighty compared to her usual carefully careless style. Let's flip again, to the games. What was this? Not Sorry, not chess or checkers. Was it zero sum, like this one? Would she lose if she took his hand like she'd already decided to do? Her eyes skirted over his body, focusing on his fingers. Even now, people extended kindness to her.

Well, this wasn't all or maybe even mostly kindness on his end, but she wasn't that different in that regard.

"And committing's a little scary for me now. I can't see under the water, you know?"

Each individual finger laced in his, like she'd imagined it would have been at the prom she'd missed.

This was literally the third time this shit had happened. That a girl seemed to take his hand and be willing to take on the world. Why was he surprised? This was a pattern of behavior now. Still, there was a war going on and he was tired of fighting alone. What a world they lived in, where taking a bit of a bath was a battle? What kinda shit was he willing to do just to feel a resemblance of normal? What kind was she?

“I got you,” Ace said because he really had nothing else, “Lucky we ain’t goin too deep, just dippin’ our toes, right?”

They were about waist deep and so that was good enough to take a seat. Ace lowered his body and Saku followed. As they sat on the lake floor, they got into a similar position as they were when they were on the shore. Just she was significantly less clothed and he felt much more exposed. His eyes shifted from Saku to the shore in very quick motions and very often. He didn’t want to stare at either. He couldn’t help himself in any department. Beats never could.

Sitting down, the water covered a good portion of body. He brought the water up to his shoulders with a small splash and he scrubbed with his fingers, trying to scratch himself clean. The water was cold, but it felt good. Ace had done some sins that he couldn’t dream of washing away—he still found himself trying.

“This was a stupid idea Saku.”

Hey, he was bein’ honest. This was dumb. She knew the story of Ivy and he knew the story of Thomas. They were murderers both and committed to ghosts. Ace was committed to two ghosts and that excluded the people he had turned into spirits himself. He splashed the water to his face and rubbed it backwards, avoiding the nub that used to be his ear and trying his best to ignore the stinging of the cold water and warm air on his wounds.

“I’ve always been a little stupid though. Let’s be real.”

Speakin’ of stupid…

“I got your back, you got mine?”