Zero Sum

[Endellion]

"I'm sorry you had to go through that... not that it matters for much."

Julien tested the sharpness of the knife Lucas had handed him with his thumb, in the way he'd been taught to once. Good enough to shave with, good enough to do; hopefully it would retain its edge well too. "And... well, actually, I suppose it is cowardly, yes," he said, tucking the knife away safely.

She wanted the people she killed to be distant targets, to shroud herself in detachment like it was armour, that much seemed certain.

He understood why. But all the same, he would condemn her and anyone else here that ended someone else so callously. They weren't fucking soldiers pouring gunfire at a distant, unknown enemy in formation.

"And yes, I'll come with you. But there's one thing first."

So what if Erika didn't want to remember them as they were, though? Whatever she wanted stopped counting for anything once she'd gunned them down. So Julien limped on past Lucas to where Katie and Saffron laid, the life all bled out of them, and kne—

It was a wonder that he didn't pass out, throw up again or choke on his own tongue. Definitely no kneeling. So he had to bend over to look at the two more closely.

They still had a vestige of warmth to them. He was sure that if he closed his eyes and just focused on that, on the sound of wind blowing through the trees, he could delude himself into imagining something more peaceful. Something he hoped that they'd found.

He couldn't close his eyes to this, though, however much he might want to. Saffron had an amethyst pendant around her neck. It was beautiful with the way it shone in the sunlight. A gift, he was sure.

His hands shook too much to lift it up and over her head, and the fire lit in his skull and crawling up his side was driving him to anger, so he had to just resort to brute force and yank it off her neck.

Katie wasn't so easy, Julien having to rifle through her pockets before he found something fitting, and even then it was a simple thing. A date for a recital Saffron had been a part of, written down on a folded piece of paper. Looking at it made him feel dirty inside, like he'd ripped out a piece of her heart to see one of the secrets inside.

He didn't waste time putting them both away in his bag.

"Right... I'm ready to go whenever you are. It'll be, ah, slow going though."

[MethodicalSlacker]

"I didn't take any mementos from Desiree," Lucas said in a small voice as he looked at his shoes.

Lucas refused to let this melancholy stick, though. He had places to go, and those places were all as far away from here as possible because that was probably the direction in which Erika was traveling. Even if he didn't know exactly where it was, he had also found some level of purpose, and that was maybe more important than anything else. More important than fighting her and surviving the attempt. More important, maybe, than actually finding her. Lucas wiped at his eyes with his sleeve and looked up at Julien with a half smile on his face. It might slow Lucas down a bit, but he was okay with that. He just didn't want to be alone, right now, whatever that meant.

"Let me know if you need me to give you a hand, at any point," Lucas said, "I'll try not to move up too far ahead."

And he stepped off on his way out of the clearing, moving again into the trees.

[Lucas Diaz continued in Quinnspiracy Theory.]

[Endellion]

"Hey. Memories are enough."

His scythe in his hands again, reduced once more to a glorified crutch, Julien started on his way after Lucas. The pace was a painfully slow one, and the breeze blowing through the clearing was the only thing that felt pleasant right now, his slacks sticking to his skin, pulverised nerves screaming into his brain, and his skull feeling full of lead.

What he would have given for some fucking relief...

"I will. Thank you."

But of course, none would come from it, and there was no choice but to keep moving for now.

[ Julien Leblanc continued elsewhere. ]