"You should go while you still can."
Violet hadn't really listened to what Dolly said about being sorry. Apollosignalling. Viruous Dolly. Perfect dreaming Dolly. Unable to wake up to this. Unable to realize what was here. Maybe the trial was not killing her. Maybe the trial was having to deal with the fact that not even Violet's friends could understandcomprehend what she was bumblestumbling through. This hateful life. Dolly.
It was more likely that the way out of the trial was to give up hope.
Hope of ever getting out of this the clean, good way. The wholesome and pure way. The way of the right hand path. The righteous path that the angelic members of the heavens walked. As long as she still had that, she could never win. Dolly was the last of that hope in corporeal form. To Violet, Dolly's story didn't matter. Where Dolly had been didn't matter. What Dolly had been through didn't matter, either. It wasn't real, it wasn't painful, and it wasn't enough. It just wasn't enough.
The least that Violet could do was offer Dolly a chance to run away.
"If you really want to hear what happened, you can stay," Violet said, "but you will find out soon, um, enough."
She sniffled. Maybe she was catching a cold from the rain.
"The question is whether you want to hear it from my mouth, or their's."
"...we must try until it kills us."
Private; afternoon of Day 2 (CW: Discussion of sexual assault and self-harm)
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MethodicalSlacker
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Those words all on their own, they said enough, didn't they?
"I'd rather hear it from you." She turned away from the rain again to look at Violet's face. Whether or not Violet would look at her in turn didn't matter so much. Dolly could look at her and see that it was still Violet. No matter what, it was still her, however she had changed fundamentally or insignificantly.
Humans are monsters, but they are still human.
"I don't know if you'll believe me when I say that you can trust me. But you can trust me with this."
"I'd rather hear it from you." She turned away from the rain again to look at Violet's face. Whether or not Violet would look at her in turn didn't matter so much. Dolly could look at her and see that it was still Violet. No matter what, it was still her, however she had changed fundamentally or insignificantly.
Humans are monsters, but they are still human.
"I don't know if you'll believe me when I say that you can trust me. But you can trust me with this."
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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MethodicalSlacker
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"Okay."
Violet took a deep breath, and looked out at the rain.
"We found a temple by the cliffs, and went, um, inside. To hide from the rain. We saw that there was some food scattered around on the ground inside. Lucky Charms Marshmallows. A whole bag, just ripped apart, spread all around. We thought there was more food, there must have been, so we went lookin', and searching, and he called out to me as he was on one side of the temple and I was on the other, and a beam fell. Support beam, right on his head, solid wood cracked open over him, and he was bloody and his glasses all cracked and he had been knocked silly, deliriously, and he thought that I was an angel—"
She furrowed her brow. Her face felt thin, thin, her eyes sunken. Violet's mouth was twisted in a half frown, her posture slightly hunched over under the canopy. The gun in her hands had never felt this heavy.
"—and I saw him and Dolly he was in pain. He was. Kyle. He would have made it if I was able to bandage him, but, you know me, Dolly, you know me, you know me I couldn't do that. He was in so much pain, and I couldn't help him, and he wasn't fit to stand, so I thought he saw I was an angel maybe that I could be an angel so I did."
Her throat bulged for a moment as she swallowed down a lump.
"This is all my fault, you know. Back in D.C. I tried to hex the President. I put stones all around the city, in a pentagram, and then I conducted a ritual while my roommates were out. Even before that during prom I skipped with Desiree Beck and we played Ouija board and I was told to not go on the trip because I wouldn't come back but at the time I I I I I thought I wrote it off because it was just nerves because, well, and even before that, even before that there was the time in the playground, during the banishing ritual, I accidentally invoked the wrong angel, I invoked the wrong angel because I forgot the right one's name. I said Azrael was on my left hand. Azrael is the angel of death, Dolly. It's all my fault that we're here."
Abruptly she shook her head back and forth, her hair whipping around left and right for a few moments before she stopped.
"When I die this plane won't see my soul ever again."
Violet took a deep breath, and looked out at the rain.
"We found a temple by the cliffs, and went, um, inside. To hide from the rain. We saw that there was some food scattered around on the ground inside. Lucky Charms Marshmallows. A whole bag, just ripped apart, spread all around. We thought there was more food, there must have been, so we went lookin', and searching, and he called out to me as he was on one side of the temple and I was on the other, and a beam fell. Support beam, right on his head, solid wood cracked open over him, and he was bloody and his glasses all cracked and he had been knocked silly, deliriously, and he thought that I was an angel—"
She furrowed her brow. Her face felt thin, thin, her eyes sunken. Violet's mouth was twisted in a half frown, her posture slightly hunched over under the canopy. The gun in her hands had never felt this heavy.
"—and I saw him and Dolly he was in pain. He was. Kyle. He would have made it if I was able to bandage him, but, you know me, Dolly, you know me, you know me I couldn't do that. He was in so much pain, and I couldn't help him, and he wasn't fit to stand, so I thought he saw I was an angel maybe that I could be an angel so I did."
Her throat bulged for a moment as she swallowed down a lump.
"This is all my fault, you know. Back in D.C. I tried to hex the President. I put stones all around the city, in a pentagram, and then I conducted a ritual while my roommates were out. Even before that during prom I skipped with Desiree Beck and we played Ouija board and I was told to not go on the trip because I wouldn't come back but at the time I I I I I thought I wrote it off because it was just nerves because, well, and even before that, even before that there was the time in the playground, during the banishing ritual, I accidentally invoked the wrong angel, I invoked the wrong angel because I forgot the right one's name. I said Azrael was on my left hand. Azrael is the angel of death, Dolly. It's all my fault that we're here."
Abruptly she shook her head back and forth, her hair whipping around left and right for a few moments before she stopped.
"When I die this plane won't see my soul ever again."
Again, the tide washed over Dolly. It didn't sweep back so easily this time. Her hands went around, and around, and around, and around.
For several moments, there was no sound between them but the rain coming down on the roof, the ground, the trees beyond. When Dolly finally found it in herself to speak, she said, "I wish I could say something comforting, but-"
But.
Nothing came. Maybe nothing existed. Nothing to fit inside and seal up the hole that Violet had opened within herself.
"I don't blame you."
Did that comfort? Probably not. Violet seemed to be blaming herself more than enough, for doing things that she had thought were harmless or even helpful. Most of it was of a realm that Dolly didn't truly belong in, anyway.
"Okay? I don't blame you, and I won't. I can't do anything about the rest, but I can promise you that much."
Around, and around, and around, and around.
"There's going to be enough that I should hold against others, maybe. Enough to go around. Something like that."
Dolly closed her eyes.
"I can't do anything about it. I don't want it to be like this, but some people- some people are going to be more monster than others. You're not one of them yet."
For several moments, there was no sound between them but the rain coming down on the roof, the ground, the trees beyond. When Dolly finally found it in herself to speak, she said, "I wish I could say something comforting, but-"
But.
Nothing came. Maybe nothing existed. Nothing to fit inside and seal up the hole that Violet had opened within herself.
"I don't blame you."
Did that comfort? Probably not. Violet seemed to be blaming herself more than enough, for doing things that she had thought were harmless or even helpful. Most of it was of a realm that Dolly didn't truly belong in, anyway.
"Okay? I don't blame you, and I won't. I can't do anything about the rest, but I can promise you that much."
Around, and around, and around, and around.
"There's going to be enough that I should hold against others, maybe. Enough to go around. Something like that."
Dolly closed her eyes.
"I can't do anything about it. I don't want it to be like this, but some people- some people are going to be more monster than others. You're not one of them yet."
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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MethodicalSlacker
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Violet bit her lip. There was a side to this that she was leaving out of things. Something that might turn Dolly's sweetness sour. A little wrinkle in this. But now wasn't the time to mention it. The thing with the hands. It hadn't repeated itself. It hadn't repeated itself because it hadn't had a chance to repeat itself. Not yet. Of course Violet was going to try again next time and see what happened. She'd be an idiot not to. It was a silver lining, but it also threatened to pull her motivations out of the shadows of necessity and into the light of—
False dichotomy. Violet wanted to slap herself but she was holding the gun. Maybe it'd be more fitting to shoot herself again if she wasn't so terrified of what was on the other side. She didn't have any desire to do that either. It had taken a minute for her to even notice, but now that the words were out of her mouth, she had calmed down some. Dolly's response didn't matter. It made things a little worse, actually. Forgiveness was not an outcome Violet had prepared for, really. That's what this was, right? That's the only way that Violet could make sense of it. Dolly knew what she did was wrong and chose to not blame her for it, which meant forgiveness. That was the sense to be made, if any.
"I'm worried, though," Violet confessed, a newfound steadiness in her voice, "that, well, gosh. Taking a life, it doesn't matter if you blame me, I've set in motion forces beyond my control. I don't want to die, here. I'm too scared of the punishment on the other side, Dolly. I just need to keep pushing on through. You know what that means. The more bad I do, the harder it'll be for anyone to forgive me. The stronger the case against me, below, when I die. But I need to keep going, and that means doing more bad things. You know. It's like, uh..."
She put a finger on her chin and looked over to the side while she tried to remember the na—
"The Amigara Fault Enigma, or something. I've found my hole, Dolly. I'm inside. I gotta keep going forward until I reach the other side."
False dichotomy. Violet wanted to slap herself but she was holding the gun. Maybe it'd be more fitting to shoot herself again if she wasn't so terrified of what was on the other side. She didn't have any desire to do that either. It had taken a minute for her to even notice, but now that the words were out of her mouth, she had calmed down some. Dolly's response didn't matter. It made things a little worse, actually. Forgiveness was not an outcome Violet had prepared for, really. That's what this was, right? That's the only way that Violet could make sense of it. Dolly knew what she did was wrong and chose to not blame her for it, which meant forgiveness. That was the sense to be made, if any.
"I'm worried, though," Violet confessed, a newfound steadiness in her voice, "that, well, gosh. Taking a life, it doesn't matter if you blame me, I've set in motion forces beyond my control. I don't want to die, here. I'm too scared of the punishment on the other side, Dolly. I just need to keep pushing on through. You know what that means. The more bad I do, the harder it'll be for anyone to forgive me. The stronger the case against me, below, when I die. But I need to keep going, and that means doing more bad things. You know. It's like, uh..."
She put a finger on her chin and looked over to the side while she tried to remember the na—
"The Amigara Fault Enigma, or something. I've found my hole, Dolly. I'm inside. I gotta keep going forward until I reach the other side."
"I understand." It didn't matter if she really did or not. "I can't- won't try to stop you, anyway."
Dolly's family attended Mass on the holidays and that was it. She believed in a heaven and hell as vaguely and noncommittally as she did in spirits and demons. She didn't disbelieve in an afterlife so much as it had never been particularly relevant. Often, it only came up when she was reading up on something particularly morbid, and she didn't care to think about it.
There was no point in saying that she didn't believe, that Violet hadn't willed Survival of the Fittest into existence, that if it wasn't them it was 150 other teenagers ripped away from their lives. They were already here. Violet had already passed judgment on herself, and if there was anything that waited to pass further judgment, it was well out of Dolly's hands.
"I just want you to know that you'll still have a friend in me, however things end up. If you die here, or don't."
She paused, eyes opening again.
"If you don't, I can- This is selfish, but I can be a little reassured, you know, that it was you. I'm already lucky, because I don't have family here and some do, and Artem isn't here, and I know- I can't imagine how much it will hurt. Losing almost everyone. But it will be over for me before it's over for them."
There. She'd said it plainly now.
"So if you don't die, I can at least be glad that they'll still have someone."
I'd rather it be you than-
Dolly's family attended Mass on the holidays and that was it. She believed in a heaven and hell as vaguely and noncommittally as she did in spirits and demons. She didn't disbelieve in an afterlife so much as it had never been particularly relevant. Often, it only came up when she was reading up on something particularly morbid, and she didn't care to think about it.
There was no point in saying that she didn't believe, that Violet hadn't willed Survival of the Fittest into existence, that if it wasn't them it was 150 other teenagers ripped away from their lives. They were already here. Violet had already passed judgment on herself, and if there was anything that waited to pass further judgment, it was well out of Dolly's hands.
"I just want you to know that you'll still have a friend in me, however things end up. If you die here, or don't."
She paused, eyes opening again.
"If you don't, I can- This is selfish, but I can be a little reassured, you know, that it was you. I'm already lucky, because I don't have family here and some do, and Artem isn't here, and I know- I can't imagine how much it will hurt. Losing almost everyone. But it will be over for me before it's over for them."
There. She'd said it plainly now.
"So if you don't die, I can at least be glad that they'll still have someone."
I'd rather it be you than-
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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MethodicalSlacker
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"Oh."
Artem.
"Oh, oh my God, Dolly. Dolly, oh my God. Dolly you. Dolly. I need to. There's something. Dolly there's something you need to you deserve to know."
Violet was no longer calm. She turned towards Dolly and looked her in her eyes.
"Dolly, Tyrell told me something. He said it in front of a few people but at least one of those people is dead now and another is a killer and the other two are unaccounted for but I doubt that one of them is going to work to do the right thing here and the other is well the other well Dolly I don't know how to tell you this."
She exhaled. It shook her.
"It's about Artem."
Artem.
"Oh, oh my God, Dolly. Dolly, oh my God. Dolly you. Dolly. I need to. There's something. Dolly there's something you need to you deserve to know."
Violet was no longer calm. She turned towards Dolly and looked her in her eyes.
"Dolly, Tyrell told me something. He said it in front of a few people but at least one of those people is dead now and another is a killer and the other two are unaccounted for but I doubt that one of them is going to work to do the right thing here and the other is well the other well Dolly I don't know how to tell you this."
She exhaled. It shook her.
"It's about Artem."
The movement of Dolly's hands slowed and came to a stop.
Tyrell?
"...What did he say?"
Why would he have anything to say, was the better question. Tyrell?
Dolly didn't turn to look at Violet again.
Tyrell?
"...What did he say?"
Why would he have anything to say, was the better question. Tyrell?
Dolly didn't turn to look at Violet again.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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MethodicalSlacker
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"We were on the dock. Not me and Tyrell. It was me, I woke up on the dock, and I was there. Dante and Blaise. I accidentally shot Dante. Blaise was figuring out how to dress his wound. Camila showed up, and helped out more. I couldn't do anything. Of course. I couldn't do anything except when someone else, it was Lorenzo, yes. Lorenzo is the key here. Lorenzo showed up, and he had a weapon, and he was vaguely trying to come over but I wouldn't let him because he had just a sword or a mace and I had the gun I pointed it at him and he stood down and then Tyrell arrived and he said something about he said that—"
Violet caught herself before she continued.
She was blubbering. It wasn't even coming out as full words half the time. Her speech twisted in tangled tangents intertwined with needless clarification and useless emphasis. The next words needed to be delivered carefully and deliberately. Audibly. With care. These were the important ones. Now there you go again.
Deeply, she inhaled, and then spoke slowly.
"Tyrell said,
"that after prom,
"Lorenzo raped
"Artem."
Violet caught herself before she continued.
She was blubbering. It wasn't even coming out as full words half the time. Her speech twisted in tangled tangents intertwined with needless clarification and useless emphasis. The next words needed to be delivered carefully and deliberately. Audibly. With care. These were the important ones. Now there you go again.
Deeply, she inhaled, and then spoke slowly.
"Tyrell said,
"that after prom,
"Lorenzo raped
"Artem."
So this was how they got her.
This was how they tried to tempt Dolly's monster out of its cage.
Tyrell? Tyrell Lahti?
Tyrell Lahti?
And the void inside grew teeth.
Dolly breathed in just as Violet had. It was almost steady. She did not turn to look at Violet.
"That's a horrible lie for Tyrell to go around telling."
This was how they tried to tempt Dolly's monster out of its cage.
Tyrell? Tyrell Lahti?
Tyrell Lahti?
And the void inside grew teeth.
Dolly breathed in just as Violet had. It was almost steady. She did not turn to look at Violet.
"That's a horrible lie for Tyrell to go around telling."
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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MethodicalSlacker
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"He said it was the reason that Artem didn't come on the trip."
"Artem caught a cold."
How many witnesses? One was dead already. Dante. And Blaise was a killer, and someone would be after them sooner or later, if they weren't already.
Tyrell was a killer too.
How did he know? What gave him the right to know?
Violet was here. Dolly had already promised that they would stay friends, and they would, she meant it, she loved Violet like a sister, God Violet if you say anything else I'll-
"I was with him at prom. He and Amelia went together, and they double-dated with Marceline and me. I know when he left. Nothing happened."
Dolly's hands were still twisted in the ribbon, and her fingernails bit so hard into her palm she thought she might bleed.
Dolly breathed. Her voice was calm. It didn't matter that her insides were screaming.
How many witnesses? One was dead already. Dante. And Blaise was a killer, and someone would be after them sooner or later, if they weren't already.
Tyrell was a killer too.
How did he know? What gave him the right to know?
Violet was here. Dolly had already promised that they would stay friends, and they would, she meant it, she loved Violet like a sister, God Violet if you say anything else I'll-
"I was with him at prom. He and Amelia went together, and they double-dated with Marceline and me. I know when he left. Nothing happened."
Dolly's hands were still twisted in the ribbon, and her fingernails bit so hard into her palm she thought she might bleed.
Dolly breathed. Her voice was calm. It didn't matter that her insides were screaming.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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MethodicalSlacker
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"He said that? He said that he was sick?"
Violet, wide-eyed, lifted a hand off of the gun and wiped it across her face. If this was true, which she hoped to God that it was, then Tyrell was just lying. He was just lying about one of Violet's good friends being irreversibly hurt. And that was preferable to the alternative. Any day. She'd take that any day. If she shot at someone technically innocent that was okay as long as Artem wasn't hurt.
"I didn't go, to prom, Dolly," Violet said, "I don't know what happened or what didn't."
"I hope that Tyrell was lying too, but I don't know for sure. Please tell me that you know for sure."
"Please."
Violet, wide-eyed, lifted a hand off of the gun and wiped it across her face. If this was true, which she hoped to God that it was, then Tyrell was just lying. He was just lying about one of Violet's good friends being irreversibly hurt. And that was preferable to the alternative. Any day. She'd take that any day. If she shot at someone technically innocent that was okay as long as Artem wasn't hurt.
"I didn't go, to prom, Dolly," Violet said, "I don't know what happened or what didn't."
"I hope that Tyrell was lying too, but I don't know for sure. Please tell me that you know for sure."
"Please."
The cameras. If Tyrell had opened his mouth in front of anyone, it would have been unforgivable, but they would all be dead soon. But the cameras.
Dolly had promised that nobody would know. She had promised.
Her hands felt slick and warm, but when she looked down, there was nothing but the ribbon entangled in her fingers and the half-moon impressions dug into her palms.
Dolly's most immediate concern had been that Violet would argue, and that she might lose her composure and snap back. Worried Tyrell's word would be considered at least as good as her own, largely because what he had said had been so shocking. She breathed out a little easier when things didn't take that turn.
Her mouth twisted in an expression that didn't manage to quite be either a smile or a grimace. "I don't have my phone anymore, so I can't show you, but I was texting with him during the trip. We talked on the phone a bit. He'd been feeling under the weather for a while, and the bus ride was so long... you understand."
Half-truths. What had been done couldn't be undone, but she could soothe it, just a little.
"I..." Dolly swallowed. "I can't tell you for sure that what Tyrell said about Lorenzo is untrue. They're friends, I think, and I don't know how his mind works or why he'd turn on Lorenzo like that if there was nothing. But the rest of it- it's a little too convenient, don't you think? That the name he came up with was someone who isn't here. Somebody who can't refute him. Anything Lorenzo says now to argue will sound like a base denial, or he'd have to-"
Dolly breathed in, out. It was steady.
"He'd have to name somebody else and admit it."
Some phantom person, some idea that couldn't be hurt. If only she believed like Violet did, maybe she could bring something like that to life for real and tear it apart in place of someone she loved.
"I'm refuting it, though. It's a lie."
Dolly finally turned to look Violet in the eyes and willed, prayed, that she would accept the comfort Dolly offered. There was enough ugly truth to go around already.
"Please believe me."
Dolly had promised that nobody would know. She had promised.
Her hands felt slick and warm, but when she looked down, there was nothing but the ribbon entangled in her fingers and the half-moon impressions dug into her palms.
Dolly's most immediate concern had been that Violet would argue, and that she might lose her composure and snap back. Worried Tyrell's word would be considered at least as good as her own, largely because what he had said had been so shocking. She breathed out a little easier when things didn't take that turn.
Her mouth twisted in an expression that didn't manage to quite be either a smile or a grimace. "I don't have my phone anymore, so I can't show you, but I was texting with him during the trip. We talked on the phone a bit. He'd been feeling under the weather for a while, and the bus ride was so long... you understand."
Half-truths. What had been done couldn't be undone, but she could soothe it, just a little.
"I..." Dolly swallowed. "I can't tell you for sure that what Tyrell said about Lorenzo is untrue. They're friends, I think, and I don't know how his mind works or why he'd turn on Lorenzo like that if there was nothing. But the rest of it- it's a little too convenient, don't you think? That the name he came up with was someone who isn't here. Somebody who can't refute him. Anything Lorenzo says now to argue will sound like a base denial, or he'd have to-"
Dolly breathed in, out. It was steady.
"He'd have to name somebody else and admit it."
Some phantom person, some idea that couldn't be hurt. If only she believed like Violet did, maybe she could bring something like that to life for real and tear it apart in place of someone she loved.
"I'm refuting it, though. It's a lie."
Dolly finally turned to look Violet in the eyes and willed, prayed, that she would accept the comfort Dolly offered. There was enough ugly truth to go around already.
"Please believe me."
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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MethodicalSlacker
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"I do believe you."
Violet said those words, and just barely nodded her head up and down. Just enough to be recognizable as a conscious decision, an expression of agreement, and not a nervous tick or flinch or twitch.
"Yes, yes I do. I believe you. It was a lie. That was all."
She turned away from her, still nodding, and looked out into the rain again. Somehow it felt like it was letting up, even though the sound of the water droplets on the roof wasn't any quieter. Violet wished she knew some rain spells, or chants, or rituals, to bring it loud enough to drown out her thoughts. Her impulses.
"I hope you know that won't stop me, though," Violet continued, "from shooting Lorenzo, if I see him. He was going to hurt me. He was going to hurt someone who was wounded. He was going to hurt people helping that wounded person. He isn't good. He's probably killed someone by now. Or a couple people. I know Tyrell did. Tyrell isn't getting away either, if I see him. I get the feeling he'd instigate, though. He'd be the one to attack me first. They're both strong. I couldn't let either get close. All the more reason. Can't let them get close."
Her words hung in the air for a few moments. Only because she let them. Caught in a spider's web, they were, momentarily suspended in time, though loosened quickly by the impact of rain. She let the imprint of their intent dissipate fully before she shifted. The joints in her neck popped and cracked as Violet turned her head slowly to look at Dolly, a faint smirk curling on the edges of her pale red mouth.
"It was a lie, but I get the feeling that you wouldn't be upset. Um. If I killed him. Either, or."
Violet said those words, and just barely nodded her head up and down. Just enough to be recognizable as a conscious decision, an expression of agreement, and not a nervous tick or flinch or twitch.
"Yes, yes I do. I believe you. It was a lie. That was all."
She turned away from her, still nodding, and looked out into the rain again. Somehow it felt like it was letting up, even though the sound of the water droplets on the roof wasn't any quieter. Violet wished she knew some rain spells, or chants, or rituals, to bring it loud enough to drown out her thoughts. Her impulses.
"I hope you know that won't stop me, though," Violet continued, "from shooting Lorenzo, if I see him. He was going to hurt me. He was going to hurt someone who was wounded. He was going to hurt people helping that wounded person. He isn't good. He's probably killed someone by now. Or a couple people. I know Tyrell did. Tyrell isn't getting away either, if I see him. I get the feeling he'd instigate, though. He'd be the one to attack me first. They're both strong. I couldn't let either get close. All the more reason. Can't let them get close."
Her words hung in the air for a few moments. Only because she let them. Caught in a spider's web, they were, momentarily suspended in time, though loosened quickly by the impact of rain. She let the imprint of their intent dissipate fully before she shifted. The joints in her neck popped and cracked as Violet turned her head slowly to look at Dolly, a faint smirk curling on the edges of her pale red mouth.
"It was a lie, but I get the feeling that you wouldn't be upset. Um. If I killed him. Either, or."