No Time Left
Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:12 am
((Kammy continued from Cantata Mortis))
It was hard to walk. Tiredness. Physical, yes, and a simultaneous mental fatigue. Kammy knew where she needed to go, and wanted nothing less than to actually go there. Yet she kept trudging forward, one foot in front of the other, because she had to see, she had to confirm it. Kam believed what Gwen had said, and it didn't make any difference.
Had to see.
Kam wasn't sure if she was relieved or unsettled by Gwen not coming along. Part of her felt like company would be good. The rest was bubbling with something between rage and hate, a poisonous mix all centred around the fact that Gwen had been there and done nothing to stop it. She could've done... Kammy didn't know. Anything. Anything to prevent what had happened. There had to have been some way to save...
Kammy could've saved Michelle. She could've done it. She could've stayed instead of cutting and running from the reality of what she'd done. She could've called out Eliza on being shifty, she could've been that bit less idealistic and filled with 'people are mostly good' and 'it's who can I not trust, not who can I trust' and seen that there was a killer lying behind the guardedness and... and fuck. It was ripping her to pieces.
The hospital was quiet, as Kammy stepped through the doors and moved through bit by bit. She tried not to look at Alex and Carlon at first, before stopping when she was almost past them, turning, and staring. Four seconds, five seconds. Then moving on.
She knew it was the place before she even stepped into the room, upon ascending the stairs to the second floor. Kam could smell the blood, but it was more than that, there was... something hanging in the air. Normally she wouldn't go into spirits and the supernatural and Michelle certainly would've flicked her on the nose for saying it, but there was ... an aura.
It wasn't a pleasant one.
Kammy reached out and took the door handle. She held it for a long time, breathing long and slow, then willed herself forward to open it.
"Michelle..."
She was there. Laying what would almost seem serenely, if it wasn't for the mass of blood-soaked bandages, the crimson pool that had seeped out across the floor. Michelle, there in the flesh. Dead.
Dreamlike Kam stepped forward, the sound of the footfalls echoing bizarrely around her, giving way to gentle splashes, shoes sticking slightly as she moved. Still drying. Closer now, so that Kammy could see the expression on her face, turned to the side - so calm... why was Michelle so calm?
Kammy half crouched, half crumpled down, a trembling hand reaching out to touch her girlfriend's face, cradle her cheek like she'd done so many times in the past. Michelle's skin was cold as ice.
Why couldn't Kam have been the hero? Kicked down the door when things were bleakest, blown Eliza away and given a pithy one-liner? Or hell, not even the all action hero, just got there on time and saved the girl? Or stormed in and leapt in front of the gun, taken the bullet? It wasn't- it should've been her. Kammy fucked up and killed two people and got to live, Michelle didn't do a damn thing except be all the wonderful quirky things that were Michelle and was dead.
It wasn't right.
"I should've been there for you," she whispered.
It was hard to walk. Tiredness. Physical, yes, and a simultaneous mental fatigue. Kammy knew where she needed to go, and wanted nothing less than to actually go there. Yet she kept trudging forward, one foot in front of the other, because she had to see, she had to confirm it. Kam believed what Gwen had said, and it didn't make any difference.
Had to see.
Kam wasn't sure if she was relieved or unsettled by Gwen not coming along. Part of her felt like company would be good. The rest was bubbling with something between rage and hate, a poisonous mix all centred around the fact that Gwen had been there and done nothing to stop it. She could've done... Kammy didn't know. Anything. Anything to prevent what had happened. There had to have been some way to save...
Kammy could've saved Michelle. She could've done it. She could've stayed instead of cutting and running from the reality of what she'd done. She could've called out Eliza on being shifty, she could've been that bit less idealistic and filled with 'people are mostly good' and 'it's who can I not trust, not who can I trust' and seen that there was a killer lying behind the guardedness and... and fuck. It was ripping her to pieces.
The hospital was quiet, as Kammy stepped through the doors and moved through bit by bit. She tried not to look at Alex and Carlon at first, before stopping when she was almost past them, turning, and staring. Four seconds, five seconds. Then moving on.
She knew it was the place before she even stepped into the room, upon ascending the stairs to the second floor. Kam could smell the blood, but it was more than that, there was... something hanging in the air. Normally she wouldn't go into spirits and the supernatural and Michelle certainly would've flicked her on the nose for saying it, but there was ... an aura.
It wasn't a pleasant one.
Kammy reached out and took the door handle. She held it for a long time, breathing long and slow, then willed herself forward to open it.
"Michelle..."
She was there. Laying what would almost seem serenely, if it wasn't for the mass of blood-soaked bandages, the crimson pool that had seeped out across the floor. Michelle, there in the flesh. Dead.
Dreamlike Kam stepped forward, the sound of the footfalls echoing bizarrely around her, giving way to gentle splashes, shoes sticking slightly as she moved. Still drying. Closer now, so that Kammy could see the expression on her face, turned to the side - so calm... why was Michelle so calm?
Kammy half crouched, half crumpled down, a trembling hand reaching out to touch her girlfriend's face, cradle her cheek like she'd done so many times in the past. Michelle's skin was cold as ice.
Why couldn't Kam have been the hero? Kicked down the door when things were bleakest, blown Eliza away and given a pithy one-liner? Or hell, not even the all action hero, just got there on time and saved the girl? Or stormed in and leapt in front of the gun, taken the bullet? It wasn't- it should've been her. Kammy fucked up and killed two people and got to live, Michelle didn't do a damn thing except be all the wonderful quirky things that were Michelle and was dead.
It wasn't right.
"I should've been there for you," she whispered.