I Don't Feel Like A Winner
Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 11:25 pm
((Brendan Harte continued from This time I might just disappear.))
Back at this place again, huh, Brendan? You never wanted to come back.
Brendan let out a small sigh of disbelief.
It felt strange to him that his collar had not started to go off. Although he was relieved that he would have time to actually explore the place more properly this time around without being disturbed by anyone or about to have his head blown off. Still he wanted to leave as soon as he possibly could. He didn't want to be on his own for too long. He wanted to be in the company of others. Expect not with the other killers or people that were planning on killing. He didn't want to encounter any of those people. He also didn't want to be reminded of Jeremiah again by anyone. He wanted to bury him into the back of his mind and kept the murder locked up there. If he wanted to talk about him in the future to somebody who asks.... Then he would stick to the truth. Then that person can decide whether he did the right thing or not. He was still having doubts about his actions. But for now, he had to focus on what he was doing at the radio tower.
He glanced around the area to see if he could find his 'award' outside. But he was slightly disappointed when he couldn't see anything. He decided that the best place that it would be was in the small building that was beside the huge radio tower. It made a lot of sense that it wouldn't be out in the open for anyone to take it. He wanted to see what they had in there. He could give some information to Jonathan about what he would find inside. Even if it was stuff that was not useful. It was better than going back without anything to say to him.
Brendan headed towards the building, swinging the spear at his side a little. He still felt guilty about taking it. But he did panic when Michael was trying to kill him. He still wished that he could have done things differently back then. Maybe Jeremiah would still be alive and he wouldn't feel like a complete piece of crap.
You're too late to go back now, Brendan. You know that too well....
Brendan opened the door and he looked around. He could see all of the equipment that was left there. Maybe something would work. He was hopeful for a few moments until he realized that there was nothing of use. It looked like Jonathan and Darius' plan was a no go. He was annoyed himself. What could he tell Jonathan now? That there was no hope? That they couldn't get anyone to come and rescue them from this hell? He had to think it over. He didn't want to deliver the bad news in a horrible fashion. But he might not have a choice in the matter now.
Now his main goal was to find his prize.
It didn't take Brendan that long to find it. And he instantly froze on the spot. He hated himself for hesitating. He didn't want to be afraid of what he got. But he was. A little. The best thing that he could do is just take it and give it to Jonathan. Brendan felt like it would be more safer in Jonathan's hands. Brendan couldn't trust himself with it at all. He wanted Jonathan to have something to protect himself with. So this would be the best thing for him to have.
Brendan stepped closer to his award. He held his breath as he stared at it. It was a 43mm pump-action grenade launcher and with it were four grenades. Brendan felt sick to his stomach. The terrorists really wanted him to cause some havoc to other students. There might be some others that he didn't really like. He might even despise them. But for him to kill again...?
No, he couldn't do that. He didn't want to go further down that path. He wasn't going to play their game. He wasn't going to be their little pawn. He was going to be better than that. He needed to get back to Jonathan quickly. He didn't want to leave him alone any longer.
He unzipped his bag and he gingerly placed the grenades inside before zipping it back up. He picked up the launcher in his slightly trembling hands and he took a few breaths. He had to stay calm and not break down again. He needed to be more brave for a while longer.
He turned towards the door and made his way outside into the hellish world once more....
((Brendan Harte continued in This time I might just disappear.))
Back at this place again, huh, Brendan? You never wanted to come back.
Brendan let out a small sigh of disbelief.
It felt strange to him that his collar had not started to go off. Although he was relieved that he would have time to actually explore the place more properly this time around without being disturbed by anyone or about to have his head blown off. Still he wanted to leave as soon as he possibly could. He didn't want to be on his own for too long. He wanted to be in the company of others. Expect not with the other killers or people that were planning on killing. He didn't want to encounter any of those people. He also didn't want to be reminded of Jeremiah again by anyone. He wanted to bury him into the back of his mind and kept the murder locked up there. If he wanted to talk about him in the future to somebody who asks.... Then he would stick to the truth. Then that person can decide whether he did the right thing or not. He was still having doubts about his actions. But for now, he had to focus on what he was doing at the radio tower.
He glanced around the area to see if he could find his 'award' outside. But he was slightly disappointed when he couldn't see anything. He decided that the best place that it would be was in the small building that was beside the huge radio tower. It made a lot of sense that it wouldn't be out in the open for anyone to take it. He wanted to see what they had in there. He could give some information to Jonathan about what he would find inside. Even if it was stuff that was not useful. It was better than going back without anything to say to him.
Brendan headed towards the building, swinging the spear at his side a little. He still felt guilty about taking it. But he did panic when Michael was trying to kill him. He still wished that he could have done things differently back then. Maybe Jeremiah would still be alive and he wouldn't feel like a complete piece of crap.
You're too late to go back now, Brendan. You know that too well....
Brendan opened the door and he looked around. He could see all of the equipment that was left there. Maybe something would work. He was hopeful for a few moments until he realized that there was nothing of use. It looked like Jonathan and Darius' plan was a no go. He was annoyed himself. What could he tell Jonathan now? That there was no hope? That they couldn't get anyone to come and rescue them from this hell? He had to think it over. He didn't want to deliver the bad news in a horrible fashion. But he might not have a choice in the matter now.
Now his main goal was to find his prize.
It didn't take Brendan that long to find it. And he instantly froze on the spot. He hated himself for hesitating. He didn't want to be afraid of what he got. But he was. A little. The best thing that he could do is just take it and give it to Jonathan. Brendan felt like it would be more safer in Jonathan's hands. Brendan couldn't trust himself with it at all. He wanted Jonathan to have something to protect himself with. So this would be the best thing for him to have.
Brendan stepped closer to his award. He held his breath as he stared at it. It was a 43mm pump-action grenade launcher and with it were four grenades. Brendan felt sick to his stomach. The terrorists really wanted him to cause some havoc to other students. There might be some others that he didn't really like. He might even despise them. But for him to kill again...?
No, he couldn't do that. He didn't want to go further down that path. He wasn't going to play their game. He wasn't going to be their little pawn. He was going to be better than that. He needed to get back to Jonathan quickly. He didn't want to leave him alone any longer.
He unzipped his bag and he gingerly placed the grenades inside before zipping it back up. He picked up the launcher in his slightly trembling hands and he took a few breaths. He had to stay calm and not break down again. He needed to be more brave for a while longer.
He turned towards the door and made his way outside into the hellish world once more....
((Brendan Harte continued in This time I might just disappear.))