Do you think, everything, everyone, is going mental,
It seems to me that it's spiraling outta control and it's inevitable,
Now don't you think,
This time is yours, this time is mine,
It's temperamental,
It seems to me, we're on all fours,
Crawling on our knees,
Someone help us please
"Oh God. Oh God. Oh God."
The first thing that Bradley Armstrong did when he woke up on the island was panic. He'd never handled stress well in the past, and this was shaping up to be the most stressful event of his life.
It took Danya's second announcement to shock him out of his catatonia. Over twenty of the students on the island had breathed their last, and although he didn't recognize anyone mentioned in the second announcement, he had slept through the first, and for all he knew, all of his friends could have been butchered within the first few minutes of the game.
Oh Jesus Christ almighty,
Do I feel alright? No not slightly,
I wanna get a flat I know I can't afford it,
It's just the bureaucrats who won't give me a mortgage,
It's very funny cos I got your fucking money,
And I'm never gonna get it just because of my bad credit
Oh well I guess I mustn't grumble,
I suppose that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
"Oh God. Oh God. Oh God."
Bradley had forced himself to stand up and dry his face. Like it or not, he was going to have to get involved. Who knows how many people had already passed him by? He'd be damned if the others bit it without him at least trying to help them out. So he stretched, rattled off a quick prayer to God (his first in a long time), gathered his things, and took off, seeking the nearest path through the jungle. He didn't stop running for half an hour, and only when he felt completely exhausted did he remember to check his day pack.
Oh yes, I'm fine,
Everything's just wonderful,
I'm having the time of my life.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" he asked himself, knowing full well that he needed to keep it together in order to get anywhere. Acting crazy was a surefire recipe for disaster; the 'players' would be drawn to him like crayons to construction paper, and the rest of the gang would be likely to shoot a shrieking ninny like himself. As he caught his breath, he rummaged through the pack and cursed at the first thing he saw.
"Resi 4?" he asked no one in particular, bewildered at receiving a player's guide from the terrorists. He looked inside the bag, but nothing else there could have remotely qualified as a weapon. "What the hell, man? It's not like there are any quick-time events or final bosses that I can use this on!" He shoved the guide back into the bag and took out a pair of far more useful items: the map and compass.
Don't you want something else,
Something new, than what we've got here,
And don't you feel it's all the same,
Some sick game and it's not insincere,
I wish I could change the ways of the world,
Make it a nice place
Until that day, I guess we stay,
Doing what we do
Screwing who we screw
It didn't take long for him to figure out that the jungle he was in seemed to cover most of the island. He studied the map carefully, and after a few minutes of checking, determined that the storehouse was the closest landmark to his location. Satisfied with his findings, he put away the map and checked his duffelbag.
Everything seemed to be there. Bradley could see the week's worth of changed clothes and medication, and his reading material (Making Money by Terry Pratchett). He hadn't brought any snacks with him, as he was told there'd be plenty of food on the trip, nor did he bring his laptop computer, as it was being repaired back at home. Bradley had raised a huge stink when he found out he couldn't bring his beloved Lappy with him, but now he sighed and shook his head. It didn't matter anymore; the goon squad would have taken it anyway, and done who knows what to it. He was glad it was in safe hands, even if his own hands would never open it again.
Why can't I sleep at night,
Don't say it's gonna be alright,
I wanna be able to eat spaghetti bolognaise,
and not feel bad about it for days and days and days.
In the magazines they talk about weight loss,
If I buy those jeans I can look like Kate Moss,
Oh no it's not the life I chose,
But I guess that's the way that things go,
For the moment, Bradley's fear had diminished enough for him to think straight. He closed his duffel bag and checked his compass once again, to make sure he got the direction right this time. As he was about to walk away he thought he heard some sort of growl behind him. He nearly freaked out again, but he looked around and waited for something
Oh God. What lives in the jungle and eats meat? he asked himself, wondering if there was something else besides the other students to worry about. As hard as he tried, he couldn't help but draw a blank. "Thanks a fucking heap, California public school!" he whispered harshly to himself.
Oh yes, I'm fine,
Everything's just wonderful,
I'm having the time of my life.
Oh yes, I'm fine,
Everything's just wonderful,
I'm having the time of my life.
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba....
His rage was cut short, though, by what he noticed on the jungle floor. Somehow, through all of the underbrush and soil, he managed to spot what looked like a fallen tree branch. With his heart in his throat, Bradley picked it up and examined it. It was about three feet long and felt strangely comfortable in Bradley's hands.
Could my prayers have been answered? he wondered, and gave the stick a few experimental swings. He managed to stay on balance, and when he accidentally hit a tree nearby, the stick seemed undamaged.
Oh Jesus Christ almighty,
Do I feel alright? No not slightly,
I wanna get a flat I know I can't afford it,
It's just the bureaucrats who won't give me a mortgage,
It's very funny cos I got your fucking money,
And I'm never gonna get it just because of my bad credit
Oh well I guess I mustn't grumble,
I suppose that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
Bradley grinned and tucked the stick under his arm. Forget Resi 4. Forget Danya. He was going to live how he wanted, spectre of death hanging over his head or not.
Oh yes, I'm fine,
Everything's just wonderful,
I'm having the time of my life.
Oh yes, I'm fine,
Everything's just wonderful,
I'm having the time of my life.
((Continued in Point of Collapse))
Everything's Just Wonderful
This huge area takes up most of the island, with the only real "settled" places on it being the parts of the abandoned and run down military base. There are paths through the jungle, but there's also an extremely thick underbrush and abundance of plant life that would impede and agitate the contestants; not to mention the animal life dwelling within that would find the contestants to be a nice treat. The terrain itself is trecherous with several random drops, cliffs, and the occasional booby trap that the soldiers manning the base "forgot" to disarm; one could be easily lost for days in the vast confines of the jungle if the heat and other conditions didn't drive them insane. Exercise caution, children, one wrong step here would most definitely be your last.
Everything's Just Wonderful
This is an archival account used by staff to port posts belonging to the handler Solitair. While this handler hasn't been around in quite a while, should they return and wish to take custody of this account and/or its posts, they are welcome to do so by contacting staff.
Jump to
- Important
- ↳ Announcements
- ↳ Rules & Information
- ↳ New SOTF Main Site
- ↳ SOTF Wiki
- ↳ SOTF Mini
- Additional Games
- ↳ Discord Of The Fittest
- ↳ Discord Of The Fittest Current Game
- ↳ V0 Archive
- Discussion & Support
- ↳ General Discussion
- ↳ Artist's Alley
- ↳ V7 Discussion Archive
- ↳ Roleplaying Discussion
- ↳ Support/Suggestions
- ↳ Critiques
- ↳ Contest Voting
- ↳ Adoption Zone
- ↳ Polls
- ↳ Other Roleplaying
- ↳ V8 Pregame Planning
- ↳ Forum Games
- ↳ Mafia
- ↳ Song Contests
- ↳ V7 Rules, Updates, And Miscellaneous
- The V7 Corner
- ↳ The Version 7 Archive
- ↳ V7 Announcements
- ↳ V7 Student Roster
- ↳ V7 Island
- ↳ The Inner Circle
- ↳ The Manor House
- ↳ Leadership Houses
- ↳ The Gardens
- ↳ The Cliffside
- ↳ The Temple
- ↳ The Memorial Garden
- ↳ The Cliff
- ↳ The Woodlands
- ↳ The Woods
- ↳ Nature's Lookout
- ↳ The Art Exhibition
- ↳ The Shoe Tree
- ↳ The Waterfall
- ↳ Waterfall Overlook
- ↳ Waterfall Cave
- ↳ The Menagerie
- ↳ Aviary
- ↳ Stables
- ↳ Menagerie
- ↳ Serenity Lake
- ↳ The Lake
- ↳ The Serenity Circle
- ↳ The Upper Wilds
- ↳ Upper Wilderness
- ↳ The Rice Paddies
- ↳ The Village
- ↳ East Housing
- ↳ West Housing
- ↳ Infirmary
- ↳ The Commissary
- ↳ The Lower Wilds
- ↳ Lower Wilderness
- ↳ The Beach
- ↳ Bay Area
- ↳ The Bay
- ↳ The Pier
- ↳ Capsized Yacht
- ↳ Ruined Lighthouse
- ↳ V7 Pregame
- ↳ Memories from the Past
- ↳ George Hunter High School
- ↳ Athletics Building
- ↳ Playing Fields
- ↳ Indoor Courts
- ↳ Gym
- ↳ Pool
- ↳ Main Building
- ↳ Computer Labs
- ↳ Science Labs
- ↳ Cafeteria
- ↳ Library
- ↳ Math Department
- ↳ English Department
- ↳ Art Block
- ↳ Music Rooms
- ↳ Auditorium
- ↳ Drama Room
- ↳ Art Rooms
- ↳ Residential Areas
- ↳ The Gated Community
- ↳ Urban Housing
- ↳ North Side
- ↳ Amatore's Bar and Grille
- ↳ 34th Street
- ↳ Off The Record
- ↳ The Blue House Cafe and Diner
- ↳ Downtown
- ↳ Harrison Central Mall
- ↳ Chattanooga Museums
- ↳ The Zoo
- ↳ The Riverbank Aquarium
- ↳ The Riverfront
- ↳ Riverside Trail
- ↳ Foot Bridge
- ↳ Waterfront Recreation Area
- ↳ Around Town
- ↳ Mountain Foothills Park
- ↳ Heritage Military Park
- ↳ Winnepesaukah Caverns
- ↳ Events/Other
- ↳ Outside the City Limits
- ↳ George Hunter High Prom
- ↳ Before Prom
- ↳ Prom
- ↳ After Prom
- ↳ George Hunter High Senior Trip
- ↳ The Hotel
- ↳ The National Mall
- ↳ Around The City
- ↳ V7 Pregame Character Registration
- ↳ V7 Pregame Character Registration
- ↳ V7 Pregame NPC Roster
- ↳ Approved Characters
- ↳ Forfeited and Abandoned Characters
- ↳ V7 Pregame Planning
- ↳ V7 Meanwhile
- The V6 Corner
- ↳ The Version 6 Archive
- ↳ V6 Student Roster
- ↳ The Living
- ↳ The Dead
- ↳ V6 Announcements
- ↳ Intensive Treatment Rooms
- ↳ Lobotomy Lab
- ↳ Electroshock Therapy
- ↳ Water Treatment
- ↳ Regular Treatment Rooms
- ↳ Group Therapy
- ↳ One-on-one Therapy
- ↳ Art Therapy
- ↳ The Wards
- ↳ Regular Wards
- ↳ Intensive Care Wards
- ↳ Solitary Confinement
- ↳ Social Areas
- ↳ The Cafeteria
- ↳ The Asylum Library
- ↳ Peaceful Meadows Crematorium
- ↳ Crematorium Chapel
- ↳ Crematorium Gardens
- ↳ Staff Area
- ↳ Doctors' Offices
- ↳ Staff Lounge
- ↳ Storage Closet
- ↳ Asylum Exterior
- ↳ The Bell Tower
- ↳ The Rooftop
- ↳ The Cove
- ↳ Northwest Cliffs
- ↳ The Supply Depot
- ↳ Docks
- ↳ The Storehouse
- ↳ The Helipad
- ↳ Shoreline
- ↳ The Staff Housing Block
- ↳ The Hunting Cabin
- ↳ The Staff Dormitories A Block
- ↳ The Staff Dormitories B Block
- ↳ The Connecting Bridge
- ↳ Utilities Compound
- ↳ The Warehouse
- ↳ The Radio Tower
- ↳ Vehicle Depot
- ↳ The Slopes
- ↳ Staff Social Areas
- ↳ The Library
- ↳ The Pub
- ↳ The Gym
- ↳ V6 Pregame Archive
- ↳ V6 Pregame Student Roster
- ↳ V6 NPC Roster
- ↳ Cochise High School
- ↳ Beale Library
- ↳ Cafeteria
- ↳ Athletics
- ↳ Grounds
- ↳ East Wing
- ↳ West Wing
- ↳ Historic Downtown
- ↳ Diamondback Ice Cream Parlor
- ↳ Larson's Comics and Games
- ↳ Kingman Museum of Art and History
- ↳ Main Street
- ↳ Cheryl's
- ↳ Around Town
- ↳ Liberty Park
- ↳ Sumac Park
- ↳ Desert Plains Skate Park
- ↳ Strikeout Bowling Alley
- ↳ Mannie's Mini Golf
- ↳ The Neighborhood
- ↳ Events/Other
- ↳ Beyond the Town Border
- ↳ Sadie Hawkins Dance
- ↳ Before the Dance
- ↳ At the Dance
- ↳ After the Dance
- ↳ Memories from the Past
- ↳ V6 Meanwhile...
- The V5 Corner
- ↳ The Version 5 Archive
- ↳ V5 Announcements
- ↳ V5 Student Roster
- ↳ Woodlands
- ↳ The Peak Clearing
- ↳ Forgotten Campsite
- ↳ The Woods
- ↳ Nuclear Plant
- ↳ Parking Garage
- ↳ The Reactors
- ↳ Offices
- ↳ Nuclear Living Site
- ↳ East Living Quarters
- ↳ The Strip
- ↳ West Living Quarters
- ↳ The Airstrip
- ↳ The Terminal
- ↳ The Hangar
- ↳ The Tower
- ↳ Western Beach
- ↳ Dead Man's Grotto
- ↳ Drowned Freighter
- ↳ Shelson's Beach
- ↳ The Inland Lagoon
- ↳ Southern Town
- ↳ The Overpass
- ↳ The Streets
- ↳ Apartment Complexes
- ↳ Northern Town
- ↳ Gated Community
- ↳ The Quad
- ↳ Mansions
- ↳ Central Park
- ↳ Duck Pond
- ↳ Central Park (Endgame)
- ↳ School Buildings
- ↳ The Elementary School
- ↳ School Grounds
- ↳ The High School
- ↳ The Shopping Center
- ↳ Bottom Floor
- ↳ Top Floor
- ↳ Hotel
- ↳ The Lobby
- ↳ The Pools
- ↳ The Lounge
- ↳ Upper Levels
- ↳ The Hospital
- ↳ Patient Care
- ↳ Maternity and Children's
- ↳ Reception and Lobby
- ↳ The Shipping Yard
- ↳ Storage Yard
- ↳ The Docks
- ↳ Loading Dock and Office
- ↳ Eastern Inlet
- ↳ Scenic Overlook
- ↳ Abandoned Harbor
- ↳ Aviary
- ↳ Zen Garden
- ↳ Courtyard
- ↳ Golf Course
- ↳ The Clubhouse
- ↳ The Greens
- ↳ Amusement Park
- ↳ Haunted House
- ↳ Roller Coaster
- ↳ Central Grounds
- ↳ Homestead
- ↳ Dilapidated Barn
- ↳ Greenhouse
- ↳ Wheat Fields
- ↳ Farmhouse
- ↳ Northern Coast
- ↳ The Zipline Attraction
- ↳ Bike Trails
- ↳ The Ropes Course
- ↳ Lighthouse Point
- ↳ The Cove
- ↳ The Lighthouse
- ↳ Captain's Cliffs
- ↳ V5 Pregame Archive
- ↳ V5 Pregame Student Roster
- ↳ V5 NPC Roster
- ↳ Aurora High School
- ↳ Math Hall
- ↳ Social Studies Hall
- ↳ English Hall
- ↳ Electives Hall
- ↳ Library
- ↳ Gymnasium
- ↳ Lunch Room
- ↳ Auditorium
- ↳ Student Center
- ↳ Other Hallways
- ↳ Athletic Fields
- ↳ Parking Lot
- ↳ Campus
- ↳ Science Hall
- ↳ The Castle
- ↳ Batting Cages
- ↳ Go Karts
- ↳ The Maze
- ↳ Castle Interior: Floor One
- ↳ Castle Interior: Floor Two
- ↳ Castle Interior: Floor Three
- ↳ Miniature Golf
- ↳ Lone Pine Mall
- ↳ Eastern End
- ↳ Food Court
- ↳ Movie Theater
- ↳ Western End
- ↳ Around Town
- ↳ The Around the Clock Diner
- ↳ Centennial Park
- ↳ Quik Stop
- ↳ The Neighborhood
- ↳ The Waterfront
- ↳ Events/Other
- ↳ Aurora Prom
- ↳ After Prom
- ↳ Before Prom
- ↳ Prom
- ↳ Memories (The Past)
- ↳ V5 Meanwhile...
- The V4 Corner
- ↳ The Version 4 Archive
- ↳ V4 Announcements
- ↳ V4 Student Roster
- ↳ Arthro Taskforce
- ↳ Town Center
- ↳ The Residential Area
- ↳ The Beach: East
- ↳ The Beach: North
- ↳ Destroyed Cell Phone Tower
- ↳ The Docks
- ↳ The Felled Forest: North
- ↳ The Felled Forest: South
- ↳ The Fun Fair
- ↳ Gazebo
- ↳ The Greens
- ↳ The Groundskeeper's Hut
- ↳ Hall of Mirrors
- ↳ The Infirmary
- ↳ The Key
- ↳ The Lighthouse
- ↳ The Logging Road
- ↳ The Mansion
- ↳ The Mine
- ↳ The Mountain
- ↳ Northern Cliffs
- ↳ The Parish
- ↳ The Ranger Station
- ↳ The Sawmill
- ↳ Southern Cliffs
- ↳ The Swamp
- ↳ The Tunnels
- ↳ The Warehouse
- ↳ The Woods: Coastal
- ↳ The Woods: Inland
- ↳ The Woods: South-Eastern
- ↳ V4 Pregame Archive
- ↳ V4 Pregame Student Roster
- ↳ V4 NPC Roster
- ↳ V4 Abandoned Character Roster
- ↳ Bayview Secondary School
- ↳ Math Wing
- ↳ Gymnasium
- ↳ Library
- ↳ Swimming Pool
- ↳ Drama Room
- ↳ Language Arts Wing
- ↳ The Cafetorium
- ↳ Campus
- ↳ Science Department
- ↳ The Promenade
- ↳ Level One
- ↳ Level Two
- ↳ Level Three
- ↳ The Ice Skating Rink
- ↳ The Food Court
- ↳ The Parking Garage
- ↳ The Back Alley
- ↳ Steve Carlson Arena
- ↳ Lobby
- ↳ Stands
- ↳ Gerry's Pro Shop
- ↳ Dressing Rooms
- ↳ The Ice
- ↳ Around Town (V4)
- ↳ The Varsity
- ↳ Sunset Cinema
- ↳ All-Star Bowling
- ↳ Events
- ↳ Bayview Prom
- ↳ Post-Prom
- ↳ Prom Hall
- ↳ Pre-Prom
- ↳ Memories from the Past (V4)
- ↳ V4 Post-Game
- The V3 Corner
- ↳ The Version 3 Archive
- ↳ V3 Announcements
- ↳ V3 Student Roster
- ↳ Rundown Hospital
- ↳ Small Cottage
- ↳ Overgrown Trail
- ↳ The Mess Hall
- ↳ The Barracks
- ↳ Northern Coast
- ↳ Sea Cliffs
- ↳ The Lagoon
- ↳ The Quarry
- ↳ Lookout Tower
- ↳ Babbling Brook
- ↳ The Marsh
- ↳ Field of Flowers
- ↳ Hollow Tree
- ↳ The Chapel
- ↳ Swinging Bridge
- ↳ The Caves
- ↳ Storehouse
- ↳ The Graveyard
- ↳ Jailhouse
- ↳ The Showers
- ↳ The Jungle
- ↳ Airfield
- ↳ The Plot Twist
- ↳ Proving Grounds
- ↳ The Armory
- ↳ Dilapidated Barracks
- ↳ Jungle
- ↳ The Coastline
- ↳ V3 Pregame Archive
- ↳ V3 Pregame Student Roster
- ↳ V3 NPC Roster
- ↳ Southridge Math Wing
- ↳ Southridge Science Wing
- ↳ Southridge Poly-Sci Wing
- ↳ Southridge English Wing
- ↳ Southridge Library
- ↳ Southridge Cafeteria
- ↳ Southridge Fine Arts Building
- ↳ Southridge Gymnasium
- ↳ Southridge Campus
- ↳ Stonegate Island
- ↳ Oceanview Terrace
- ↳ Village Harbor
- ↳ The Links At Village Harbor
- ↳ Clifton Court
- ↳ Highland Hills Shopping Mall
- ↳ Bryan's Bowl-a-Rama
- ↳ Carmike Cinema
- ↳ Shooters
- ↳ The Beach (V3 Pregame)
- ↳ The City of Highland Beach
- ↳ Memories from the Past (V3)
- The V2 Corner
- ↳ The Version 2 Archive
- ↳ V2 Student Roster
- ↳ V2 Announcements
- ↳ Mountain Ranch
- ↳ The River
- ↳ The Cliffs
- ↳ The Forest
- ↳ Wheat Fields
- ↳ Mansion Ruins
- ↳ The Church
- ↳ The Farmhouse
- ↳ The Lighthouse
- ↳ Western Shore
- ↳ The Pagoda
- ↳ The Mall
- ↳ Residential District
- ↳ School Building
- ↳ The Park
- ↳ Botanical Garden
- ↳ The Hotel
- ↳ Industrial District
- ↳ The Hospital
- ↳ The Expressway
- ↳ Sewer System
- ↳ V2 Pregame Archive
- ↳ V2 Pregame Student Roster
- ↳ Hobbsborough High School
- ↳ P.J. Gilroy Academy
- ↳ Franklyn Senior School
- ↳ Bathurst High School
- ↳ Downtown
- ↳ Central Mall
- ↳ Midway Bowling Alley
- ↳ South 62nd Street
- ↳ Benson's Bar and Grill
- ↳ Performing Arts Center
- ↳ Sweet Bay Coffee
- ↳ Urban Commercial Area
- ↳ Parkway Shopping Plaza
- ↳ The Drive-In
- ↳ Major Taylor Skate Park
- ↳ The Rec Center
- ↳ The Seaside
- ↳ Residential Districts
- ↳ Briarwood Apartment Complex
- ↳ Kensington Heights
- ↳ Tilles Court
- ↳ Carrington Pointe
- ↳ The Past
- ↳ "The Past" Information
- ↳ "The Past" Profiles
- ↳ The Distant Past
- The V1 Corner
- ↳ The Version 1 Archive
- ↳ Announcements
- ↳ V1 Character Roster
- ↳ Makeshift Hospital
- ↳ Helicopter Crash Site
- ↳ Small House
- ↳ Bamboo Coppice
- ↳ Hillside Cliff
- ↳ Dirt Path
- ↳ The Well
- ↳ The River
- ↳ Gazebo
- ↳ Waterfall
- ↳ Lookout Point
- ↳ Eastern Shore
- ↳ The Ravine
- ↳ Old Warehouse
- ↳ Dark Caves
- ↳ School Building
- ↳ The Lighthouse
- ↳ Bathroom Facility
- ↳ The Woods
- ↳ V1 AUs and Discussion