Lucifer Fell

[Fiori]

Ami's response was... Not what Ruby had hoped for, to say the least.

She was genuinely shocked by the venomous tone of voice that Ami had taken. All this time she had assumed that Ami just didn't wait for her return, and that the moment they found each other again it would be a heartfelt reunion. Not a cheerful one, but given that they had watched out for each other since day one, Ruby assumed she would be happy to see her.

It wasn't until now that she realised just how furious Ami was with her. How betrayed she must have felt when she didn't return as promised. Or for going away at all in the first place, even if was only intended to be briefly. And given Ruby's defensive nature, it was very hard for her to not respond with similar venom.

"I... Did NOT... Ditch you. Why would I ditch the one person left on this island I actually trust?"

She paused, trying to internally calm herself down. Getting angry at Ami would not make things any better, especially when Ami had very good reasons for being angry.

"I... I don't know what else to say here. I tried to keep us all safe by making sure Sean couldn't hurt us. I hesitated, I fucked up and things then got out of hand. Then I just needed a minute to myself to wrap my head around all this before Sean came along and shoved me over the side of the fucking boat. That's exactly what happened. It was a mistake, a stupid mistake, and you fully deserve to hate my guts for it. But I never intended to ditch you, I swear to god."

Was any of this going to make a difference? She knew that she was repeating herself. She realised that there was probably no way she could convince Ami to ever forgive her, not after essentially abandoning her at her most emotionally fragile moment. But she still tried, knowing full well that she probably wouldn't get another chance.

"All I'm trying to say is... I'm sorry. I'm sorry about how this all panned out. I screwed up."

After all, without Ami, Ruby truly would be alone.

"Just... Just give me a chance to make up for all this. That's all I'm asking."

[Ciel†]

Sean made Ruby walk the plank. That was a thing Ruby was feeding her.

To say that Ami glowered would be putting it mildly. Pirate allegory or not, did Ruby honestly expect Ami to believe that? Like, even if she landed in the sand she could have broken an arm. Or maybe Ami just didn't want to believe Sean went right back into the pirate act only minutes after sobbing over Sara's body.

It felt like everything Ami just said went in one ear and out the other. She understood that Ruby felt sorry for what happened, and had there not been a voice shouting at Ami to kill herself, Ami might have accepted it. But Ami was tired, and hungry, and slowly losing her mind. All to more reason to finish what she started.

One voice wondered if Ruby would have ever thought to apologize if Ami didn't ask her why she left. Another kept reminding Ami that Ruby still had her gun, and if she wanted to shoot her, now would be the time. A third one screamed, 'Kill Ruby then kill yourself'. A forth just wanted the other voices to go away, leave me alone, please.

A fifth told her that she shouldn't have locked. Better to have a homicidal girl who was completely devoted to her than the sorts of pathetic people who are so hungry for that it obscures reality and...

...

"Ruby, please stop."

Ami cupped her hands over her face. She was getting a migraine. This was too much. Her thoughts were so loud she couldn't hear her mouth.

"I didn't ask for an apology, I just wanted you to tell me why you left. Stop it, stop it now."

... Ruby stopped. The voices piped down. Ami stood up. She stared pacing, running a hand through her dirty, knotted hair.

"Look, I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, and I know I can trust you. I like you Ruby. I wish I had the nerve to talk to you back home. But you do not want to be around me now. I'm not the same person I was back home. I'm damaged goods, Ruby, I'm bad news. Almost everyone I've run into before is either dead or broken, and I know most of that isn't my fault but... I keep asking myself 'why them and not me? I should have died days ago, why am I still alive?'"

She shook her head again. Ruby was about to talk and Ami spoke over her again.

"I'm a lost cause, Ruby! I know you're not going to believe that, but it's the truth. And if you honestly think you can save me, then you're a bigger idiot than I thought."

There was a moment of silence. Ami reached for her dufflebag and opened her eyes the rest of the way. The blood on her hands was peeling off like old paint.

"I have to go." Ruby made a move to pipe up but Ami shot her down. "You have Deanna, she's nice. You have a gun too so please don't worry about me. Just forget you ever met me. It's easier that way."

Ami walked up to Ruby and gave her a quick hug. The image of a boy with trembling hands and blood-stained teeth reverberated through her head. The words 'I', 'love' and 'you' echoed through her hollowed out skull. She ignored all of it and crossed the street.

"Good bye, Ruby."

Then she pulled away and started walking. She kept walking until she was out of the ship. Ruby called out to her but Ami didn't listen and kept walking. And she kept walking until she made it to the treeline. Then she kept walking.

Ami had been weak when she arrived at the ship. Desperate for relief. That's why she gave into the little impulses. She got it into her mind that she needed punishment. But that was over now. She understood everything. It was time to do what she should have done the second she woke up. Ami could only hope and pray Mira was okay.

(Ami Flynn continued in The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. One.)

[Fiori]

Ruby went silent the moment Ami began begging her to stop, her expression growing more concerned with each passing second.

She then remained silent as Ami continued to speak, unable to bring herself to respond despite every inch of her wanting to do so. She wanted to assure Ami that she didn't care about what she did. That what happened had been an unfortunate mistake, one which they had to put behind them in order to focus on survival.

What she didn't want was to admit that Ami was the only one who was addressing the elephant in the room.

Truth is, Ruby had avoided thinking about what happened to Sara for the past day or so. Had avoided thinking about the fact that Ami, one of the few people she genuinely trusted, had savagely beaten someone to death right in front of her. Sure, maybe it was self defence, although as far as Ruby could recall Sean was the confirmed killer with the punching dagger. And it wasn't as if it was an accident either. She could recall with clarity how Ami had smashed Sara's head in with that oversized gun of hers, hitting her over and over and...

It was just too painful for her to even think about. She could understand why Ami thought she had run away because of that. Hell, if Ami was anyone else, she probably would have. And it wasn't as if they were that close friends to begin with. Even after all the time they spent together, Ruby wasn't sure whether they would have been friends in different circumstances. The only reason they were allies was out of complete chance, seeing as they had met right at the beginning of the game before things had gotten too chaotic. Had Ruby not spent so much time with her, right now she would probably be treating her like very other confirmed killer she had met.

And yet... Despite all that, despite the fact that Ami had given her some really good reasons for leaving her alone, she still couldn't bring herself to do so. For reasons she couldn't quite fathom a part of her still wanted to try and help Ami out of the dark place she had found herself in, despite the fact that the two of them hardly knew one another. Maybe it was because circumstance or not, Ami was still one of the few people left on the island she actually cared about. Or maybe it was because she still wanted to cling to their past companionship, as if Ami was the only person keeping her sane on this damned island.

Whatever the reason, when Ami stood up and began to leave, Ruby had to say something to convince her not to.

"Regan, wai...!" she began, only to stop the instant the words came out of her mouth.

The fuck was that?

Shaking the thought from her mind, she got up and grabbed her stuff, including her old bag that she had been unable to bring with her the last time she left the boat. Then, without saying another word, she headed out in the same direction Ami went.

Despite her request to be left alone, after having been saved from the brink of self-destruction by Ami, Ruby felt that she had to make some effort to return the favour.

((Ruby Forrester continued elsewhere...))

[D/N]

Fuckity fuck.

This was kind of gross. Ruby and Ami had gotten way into some deep-seated issues that Dee hadn't been present to witness, so it wasn't like she could interject without feeling like a dork. She could empathize though.

And no one got shot or anything. So maybe it had been OK after all.

When Ami stormed out and Ruby made to follow, Dee took about five seconds again, trying to will herself to stay in the freighter. It felt comfortable, there against the wall. Like the grass outside the aviary. Like the cave so many days ago. She craved it, like honey and nicotine.

Besides, every time she pried those hooks from her skin and ventured out into the world; then the bad things happened. And she wasn't even blamed for them.

No, instead she was credited for the good.

"Ruby, wait."

But there was good. Kyran was still alive. Ruby was, even though Dee had dragged her into this freighter mess.

And Ami. Ami with a gun to her head before Dee stumbled in like the clumsy, insensitive girl she was.

"Let's head back inland. If we see Ami again..."

Ruby still didn't know that part, did she?

"We can try talking to her."

(Deanna Hull continued in A Hot Air Balloon with a Rusty Nail)