Reflections

[chibinanashi†]

((Raine Schwarz continued from Let the Dance Begin!))

Raine had thoroughly enjoyed the prom. Being out on the dance floor with Ridley and becoming much more sociable than she had been of late gave her some sort of adrenaline rush. Her heart was still beating with excitement as they walked out to the parking lot. Raine blinked and looked around before looking back to Ridley.

"It's a nice warm night out...Maybe...Maybe before we go home or do anything else, why don't we walk down the path where we first met? I've always wanted to see it at night." Raine suggested, tilting her head a little and offering a smile.

[KingKamor†]

((Ridley Landon continued from Let the Dance Begin!))

Truth be told, Ridley disliked dancing, and dances in general. But he figured that if he had to conform to at least one high school tradition, then it would have to be prom. He did not expect to have someone ask him out so close to the date, so everything turned out perfectly. They got there fine and the dancing and being together was nice, so as long as they got home safely afterward, everything else was gravy. More than anything, however, he wanted the night to end without incident. Raine was uncharacteristically energetic compared to her usual shyness, but he wanted to see where things went with her attitude in that state, so he said nothing about it.

'Maybe before we go home or do anything else, why don't we walk down the path where we first met?' She said.

"Uh... Okay! Sounds good." He replied with a scratch to the back of his head. It had been a good many weeks since he had taken a walk around that area, so it had never crossed his mind to go back there. She must have wanted to night to remain romantic, or at least he wanted to think so. Ridley unlocked the car door and opened it for her. "Let's go, then."

[chibinanashi†]

Raine walked side by side with Ridley down the path that they had first met on. She looked up at the starry night sky and the moon that shone. Closing her eyes, Raine drank in the atmosphere. It felt so wonderful being with someone who didn't berate her, who didn't ignore her...She was with someone who valued her as a person.

"So...Ridley..."

Raine looked down to the ground. "You said that we'd talk about something. Remember that day at the mall?"

[KingKamor†]

It took a moment for Ridley to register what she meant, only for him to facepalm at the fact that he had forgotten about it. "Yeah, uh, let's see... I was going to talk about me, wasn't I?" He found it difficult to make eye contact with his date. After placing his hands into his pockets, he said, "Where to start? You know that I was bullied, right? Well, there's more to it all than just that."

He swallowed and breathed in through his nose. "When I was little, I was diagnosed with ADD and ADHD. Not too uncommon, but it ties into what happened. In first or second grade, along with a lot of the same people who go to high school with us, I was always easily distracted and would sometimes fly off the handle at the littlest poking or prodding. Things weren't too bad; I got the same amount of teasing as kids usually give to each other. But... one time, during class, I got an answer wrong and sat down. The kid next to me laughed and made fun of me, so..." He took a deep breath. "He was fine after he was taken home and got some bandaides, but... I took a pencil and jabbed the side of his head with it in anger."

[chibinanashi†]

Raine listened to every word he said. One Ridley spoke of stabbing his classmate, Raine tried her best to not look horrified. How could Ridley do that? She laid a hand over her lips and she quickly looked away. There were a couple of good things she could get out of this. So far, she hadn't annoyed Ridley to the point of stabbing her in the head with a pencil. As well, she had learned something new about Ridley he might not trust anyone with.

"Ridley...What you did..." She took a deep breath. "What you did was wrong of course. However, it's more than what I could ever do to bullies." She tried to smile cheerfully. "But...thank you for letting me know..." Raine looked nervous still though, but she stayed there. She didn't run. In fact, she reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder.

[KingKamor†]

He listened to her response, and was at least relieved that she was able to listen to him. "There's a bit more to it, actually." He spotted a bench along the path and sat down when they got close. Leaning forward, he placed his elbows on his knees and his hands on his forehead. "Back then, my symptoms and whatever were so bad that I never cared one bit about what I did. I was always on autopilot, always doing things on a whim. Most of my childhood is a bit of a haze. As if I was never even there. Like I was watching out of the eyes of someone else's head the whole time. It's like I wasn't even sentient. All of the real solid memories only start around the time I was twelve. Hell, I may have done things to various kids in school that caused them to bully me in the future. I just don't remember doing it."

Ridley glanced at her to see her reaction, but continued nonetheless. "I'm smart, yet I'm not very smart. I don't know a lot of common knowledge that people my age should know. It's like I'm seven years old and everyone's telling me otherwise. But I'm digressing. The point I'm getting at is that I will do things that I will regret, but only later. I could make a joke that is offensive, and I don't know it. I get frustrated at the littlest things like video games or slow internet, feeling completely justified, and find myself wondering why I was so angry later. I just..." He placed a palm on his forehead and let the other arm dangle between his knees. "I'm not a good person. Even when I try to be."

[chibinanashi†]

Raine continued to listen as she sat down beside him. It seemed that Ridley had a bad childhood. Raine wanted to say that she did too, but they both had two different kinds of bad childhoods. Ridley wasn't in control of himself. Raine was neglected by all and was afraid that she'd be forgotten. Raine remembered how her mother's possessions and clothes slowly disappeared. Soon, not even the scent of her perfume was around and was replaced by another different one.

"You're not perfect. No one's perfect..." Raine whispered and leaned back on the bench in relief. "I don't want to be perfect. I want to be able to speak my mind. I want to speak up to people and defend those that are weak." It seemed she was speaking about something completely random.

"But...Ridley, I'm glad you can trust me with this. It might have changed a few things. Like...I...I won't bother you so much that you get angry! I don't want you to do something that you'll regret." Raine leaned forward and looked over to him with a soft smile. She slowly reached forward as if unsure toward his dangling arm, wanting to give his hand a comforting squeeze.

[KingKamor†]

He saw her hand and raised his own to meet it. Gently holding her hand, he said, "I know that nobody's perfect, and I'm not trying to pass off as some sort of dark, tormented soul or anything. I guess I just wanted to tell you that I'm not nearly as great as you might think I am." He chuckled a little. "And I don't expect that you'd ever be able to make me that angry. Hell, I've never hit a girl in my life." There was a pause. He took a deep breath and let out a great sigh, leaning back onto the bench. "I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore."

He was sweating and his heart was pounding. It had been a long time since he had spilled his guts to someone like that. There was just enough dampness that he was able to feel a faint breeze through his pant legs, which gave him a shiver. It was around that time that he felt Raine's hand in his, and calmed down a little.

[chibinanashi†]

"Ridley..." Raine was going to say something else but she couldn't find the words to say it. Her heart fluttered when she felt his hand hold onto hers. Thinking that maybe actions would speak louder than words, Raine laid her cheek against his shoulder and she sighed softly.

"...I didn't think...I'd have anyone for the senior prom. I'm...just really happy right now." Raine whispered, closing her eyes.

[KingKamor†]

Feeling her on his shoulder, he tilted his head to rest it on hers. He wanted to go ahead and put an arm around her, but decided against it due to the adjusting that it would have involved. It had been a long time since he had felt so comfortable holding a girl's hand.

"I wanted to go to prom from the beginning, but I didn't expect you to ask me out first. I didn't really have anyone in mind, but... this is nice..." Despite having told her something that he hadn't ever told anyone before, his mind was at ease. There had not been a large load lifted off his chest or anything, but it felt as if his body weren't as rigid as it was before, and could relax more easily. "Thanks for asking me out." He said without thinking. Corny lines weren't something that he was very keen on, but he said it nonetheless and decided to roll with it and await her response.

[chibinanashi†]

Raine giggled a little at his response. "Thank you for not teasing me when I did. I was a bit of a...spaz, I guess you might say."

She remembered it. The question sort of slipped out and she was already setting herself up to not be hurt as much if he said no, by blurting out that he'd probably disagree. When he said the exact opposite thing, it made Raine feel like she was on top of the world. Much like she was right now.

Feeling Ridley's head resting against hers, it felt like their relationship had gotten a little bit deeper. Thoughts were running through her mind. Good thoughts and bad thoughts. One thought wondered what it'd be like to kiss Ridley right now. One thought...one thought scared her so much. It felt so wrong especially for someone her age.

"I like you Ridley," she said softly. "I like you a lot..."

It seemed she was afraid of a certain word.

[KingKamor†]

"You weren't ever a spaz or anything whenever you weren't asking me out, though." He laughed a little. "And... I like you too, okay? So you don't have to worry about a thing." His fingers squeezed around hers slightly in reassurance.

It was then that he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. In an instant he remembered that he had set it to go off around midnight. He didn't even have to check it to know that he had to take her home. After taking the cell phone out of his pocket and turning it off, he turned to her and said, "Looks like it's time to go."

Releasing her hand, he stood up and presented his arm to her to help her up. "Thanks for listening to me and my dumb problems." He said with a smile.

[chibinanashi†]

"Mmm." Raine nodded and felt a little surprised that it was midnight already. She laid a hand on his arm and helped herself up. "It was nothing. I listen to a lot of people's problems...and I see a lot of them anyways. And...well..."

Raine looked away for a moment, a very brief pause. She then turned to look at him and whispered, "Please, forgive me." Raine then leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek, afraid she was going to fast.

[KingKamor†]

Since it was Raine who did it, his surprise showed on his face. Then again, she, the shy one, was the one who mustered up the courage to ask him out, so it may have been understandable if she weren't so reserved all the time. With a smile and slightly flushed cheeks, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her a little closer.

"You don't have to hold back, you know. We're going out now." He said as he leaned his face closer to hers, waiting for her to do the rest.

[chibinanashi†]

Raine said nothing as she was pulled closer to him. She lifted her hands to rest on the sides of his arms. Closing her eyes, Raine had to sense Ridley with everything else but sight. She was suddenly aware of the cologne he wore, how nervous he felt, the sound and feel of his breathing.

Suddenly, something overtook her. Without thinking and listening to Ridley's kind words, she pressed her lips to his. She did so carefully and softly, relishing the complete feeling she was experiencing.