Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying
[ASK FIRST] [Content Warning: Polite Conversation]
At least they'd talked?
Fiyori said that like it was a silver lining and that worried Georgia Lee, who hadn't seen a cloud. They didn't need some consolation prize, not as far as she knew – Fiyori had been talking like they'd reached a resolution. If that wasn't the case, if Fiyori thought they hadn't resolved things and she wasn't being open about it, well. That could be a problem.
It wasn't worth addressing, Georgia Lee decided; there'd be nothing to be gained from pressing the girl at this time. Still, it was worth watching out for. She pocketed the scissor blade that she'd been holding.
"Look, moving on, I figure our main concerns are water, and people trying to get in. There isn't water in the kitchen, but there're still things in there that could be useful. If we grab a few pots and tape them to a broom or something, we can stick them out the window, maybe catch some water if it decides to rain. It's cloudy enough, so I think we've a decent shot."
Georgia Lee shot a glance out the window. The sky was the colour of refill paper.
"All the pointy utensils have rusted to nothing, but there's pans in there which are in okay condition. I'm not saying we'll need to hit anyone... I hope we don't I mean, obviously, but if we do..." she left the thought unfinished. Fiyori would know what she was getting at.
Fiyori said that like it was a silver lining and that worried Georgia Lee, who hadn't seen a cloud. They didn't need some consolation prize, not as far as she knew – Fiyori had been talking like they'd reached a resolution. If that wasn't the case, if Fiyori thought they hadn't resolved things and she wasn't being open about it, well. That could be a problem.
It wasn't worth addressing, Georgia Lee decided; there'd be nothing to be gained from pressing the girl at this time. Still, it was worth watching out for. She pocketed the scissor blade that she'd been holding.
"Look, moving on, I figure our main concerns are water, and people trying to get in. There isn't water in the kitchen, but there're still things in there that could be useful. If we grab a few pots and tape them to a broom or something, we can stick them out the window, maybe catch some water if it decides to rain. It's cloudy enough, so I think we've a decent shot."
Georgia Lee shot a glance out the window. The sky was the colour of refill paper.
"All the pointy utensils have rusted to nothing, but there's pans in there which are in okay condition. I'm not saying we'll need to hit anyone... I hope we don't I mean, obviously, but if we do..." she left the thought unfinished. Fiyori would know what she was getting at.
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"I am not sure if I really want to drink water from those pans."
She said as if she had any idea in what condition these pans were in. Seriously, Georgia Lee just checked them and if she found them to be alright they had to be alright, right? Way too be provocative, Fiyori, and you weren't even trying.
"Uh, sorry. That's probably a good idea."
The water thing, of course. Not the beating people with pans thing. She thought that was a dumb idea. She didn't voice that thought.
She said as if she had any idea in what condition these pans were in. Seriously, Georgia Lee just checked them and if she found them to be alright they had to be alright, right? Way too be provocative, Fiyori, and you weren't even trying.
"Uh, sorry. That's probably a good idea."
The water thing, of course. Not the beating people with pans thing. She thought that was a dumb idea. She didn't voice that thought.
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The table was strewn with flakes of plastic, dug out by Georgia Lee and Fiyori carving their lists. She brushed some aside with a sweep of her hand.
"There's no hurry. If it starts to rain, we'll hear it. In the meantime..."
Georgia Lee gave a little shrug.
"I suppose we just wait."
"There's no hurry. If it starts to rain, we'll hear it. In the meantime..."
Georgia Lee gave a little shrug.
"I suppose we just wait."
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Wait. Alright. Waiting was fine as well. Some people couldn't do that. Waiting in silence, being on their own. Couldn't stand to spend some time alone with their thoughts and needed some kind of distraction.
Fiyori thought she was interesting, all things considered. She could spend hours just alone with her thoughts though it left her unhappy quite often.
Of course, she wasn't alone in that moment.
"So..." Fiyori drummed on the table with her fingers. She wanted to say something, start a conversation. If they had to wait, they might as well pass the time. Being alone was something, staring at each other was different.
"You never told me. What exactly is it that you want to do? I mean, in life?"
Fiyori thought she was interesting, all things considered. She could spend hours just alone with her thoughts though it left her unhappy quite often.
Of course, she wasn't alone in that moment.
"So..." Fiyori drummed on the table with her fingers. She wanted to say something, start a conversation. If they had to wait, they might as well pass the time. Being alone was something, staring at each other was different.
"You never told me. What exactly is it that you want to do? I mean, in life?"
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There was a weight to the question, Georgia Lee thought. She leant back, meeting Fiyori's eyes, searching for some indication of what the other girl was looking for. If there was anything there, Georgia Lee couldn't find it.
"Law," she said finally. "I want to practice law, in New York. Make good money, make a good name for myself, make... I don't know, a new life. I want to travel, you know? See everything there is to see. Kingman's so... I mean, you know Kingman. There's nothing there, and... it just never seemed fair."
Fiyori's face was opaque.
"I just always wanted more, you know? I still want more, I mean. I miss Kingman, I miss it so much more than I expected I would, but I've always felt like I belonged somewhere bigger."
Her ambitions sounded strangely petty when Georgia Lee said them out loud. They'd always seemed so huge to her, so vital. Now, putting them into words they sounded childish and superficial. She could feel a blush creeping up her cheeks.
"What about you?" she said hurriedly. "What is it you'll do, once we get out of here?"
"Law," she said finally. "I want to practice law, in New York. Make good money, make a good name for myself, make... I don't know, a new life. I want to travel, you know? See everything there is to see. Kingman's so... I mean, you know Kingman. There's nothing there, and... it just never seemed fair."
Fiyori's face was opaque.
"I just always wanted more, you know? I still want more, I mean. I miss Kingman, I miss it so much more than I expected I would, but I've always felt like I belonged somewhere bigger."
Her ambitions sounded strangely petty when Georgia Lee said them out loud. They'd always seemed so huge to her, so vital. Now, putting them into words they sounded childish and superficial. She could feel a blush creeping up her cheeks.
"What about you?" she said hurriedly. "What is it you'll do, once we get out of here?"
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Fiyori bit on her lip. She wasn't sure about it, whether the girl was mocking her or not. She stared back at GLD, not sure how to answer at first. She threw the question back at Fiyori, and maybe she meant it to be insulting. Maybe it was just asked because of a polite reflex.
She thought a bit about her answer. Thought about how much she should reveal, and more important how much any of those revelations would impact their budding relationship.
"Nothing."
Fiyori smiled, thought herself witty. It was a good answer, it was a true answer. And she could almost imagine the condescending tirade that must have went through GLD's head.
"Seeing the world, that's a nice thought. Wouldn't dream of law though. Too many competitive people hammering down on those better than them."
A pause.
"You know, like everywhere."
And that was definitely intentional. She chose not to allow GLD to think too much about her answer.
"What kind of places would you like to see?"
She thought a bit about her answer. Thought about how much she should reveal, and more important how much any of those revelations would impact their budding relationship.
"Nothing."
Fiyori smiled, thought herself witty. It was a good answer, it was a true answer. And she could almost imagine the condescending tirade that must have went through GLD's head.
"Seeing the world, that's a nice thought. Wouldn't dream of law though. Too many competitive people hammering down on those better than them."
A pause.
"You know, like everywhere."
And that was definitely intentional. She chose not to allow GLD to think too much about her answer.
"What kind of places would you like to see?"
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Of course the girl had no ambition, of course she did. It was an idiotic question to have asked, really.
Georgia Lee didn't know which it was, nor did she know which would be worse – whether Fiyori simply hadn't planned anything, and was expecting her life to somehow just work itself out, as if by magic; or whether she actively wanted nothing from her life, and was content to spend the rest of her days in Kingman, Arizona. Both were sickening prospects.
The girl wasn't a halfwit. The plan with the names had been a good one, and on the bridge she'd seemed dangerously sharp. It wasn't like she didn't have some kind of intellectual potential; it just seemed she was content to squander it. Well, that was her own problem. It was enough of a battle for Georgia Lee to motivate herself; she couldn't be expected to inspire everyone else as well. Long-term, Fiyori would have to solve her own problems.
To get to that point, though, they'd need to get out of here. Georgia Lee thought about where she'd want to be, if she wasn't trapped on this island, or stuck in Kingman. The list was expansive.
"Everywhere, I guess. Everywhere and everything. South America and Asia and Europe and Africa. I want to see forests and jungles and plains and tundras and castles and canyons and cities and swamps and mountains and hills and oceans. Everything there is to see, I want to see it. What's the point in the world being as big as it is, if we don't experience it?"
She paused for a moment.
"Just... no more desert. I've had my fill of that."
Georgia Lee didn't know which it was, nor did she know which would be worse – whether Fiyori simply hadn't planned anything, and was expecting her life to somehow just work itself out, as if by magic; or whether she actively wanted nothing from her life, and was content to spend the rest of her days in Kingman, Arizona. Both were sickening prospects.
The girl wasn't a halfwit. The plan with the names had been a good one, and on the bridge she'd seemed dangerously sharp. It wasn't like she didn't have some kind of intellectual potential; it just seemed she was content to squander it. Well, that was her own problem. It was enough of a battle for Georgia Lee to motivate herself; she couldn't be expected to inspire everyone else as well. Long-term, Fiyori would have to solve her own problems.
To get to that point, though, they'd need to get out of here. Georgia Lee thought about where she'd want to be, if she wasn't trapped on this island, or stuck in Kingman. The list was expansive.
"Everywhere, I guess. Everywhere and everything. South America and Asia and Europe and Africa. I want to see forests and jungles and plains and tundras and castles and canyons and cities and swamps and mountains and hills and oceans. Everything there is to see, I want to see it. What's the point in the world being as big as it is, if we don't experience it?"
She paused for a moment.
"Just... no more desert. I've had my fill of that."
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That answer was almost touching.
"No more desert, yeah."
Fiyori couldn't find herself agreeing to all those items on her list. Honestly, traveling at all seemed to be so much of a hassle. It was a hassle to leave, it was a hassle to come home and staying wherever your stayed just was an experience in spending enormous amounts of money for what? A spot for a good picture? The stings of some foreign insects?
Ah, fuck it. She knew. If someone were to offer her a trip somewhere, anywhere, Fiyori wouldn't hesitate a bit to take up the offer. But nobody would just offer her something like that. And traveling was still expensive. Getting out of Kingman was expensive, and Fiyori knew that was money she would never earn.
...never would have earned.
"Come to think of it, I've never even seen the grand canyon. Weird, huh? It's pretty much the closest thing we got for an interesting sight, but I've never witnessed it."
She shrugged. Would have loved to be born wealthier. Would have loved to be born in Europe, where culturally significant places were around every corner. But nobody asked her anyway.
"No more desert, yeah."
Fiyori couldn't find herself agreeing to all those items on her list. Honestly, traveling at all seemed to be so much of a hassle. It was a hassle to leave, it was a hassle to come home and staying wherever your stayed just was an experience in spending enormous amounts of money for what? A spot for a good picture? The stings of some foreign insects?
Ah, fuck it. She knew. If someone were to offer her a trip somewhere, anywhere, Fiyori wouldn't hesitate a bit to take up the offer. But nobody would just offer her something like that. And traveling was still expensive. Getting out of Kingman was expensive, and Fiyori knew that was money she would never earn.
...never would have earned.
"Come to think of it, I've never even seen the grand canyon. Weird, huh? It's pretty much the closest thing we got for an interesting sight, but I've never witnessed it."
She shrugged. Would have loved to be born wealthier. Would have loved to be born in Europe, where culturally significant places were around every corner. But nobody asked her anyway.
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"It's not so weird."
Georgia Lee leant forward, resting her cheek on her palm.
"I mean, I haven't been there either, not really. I went with my family when I think I was about,2, maybe 3. I don't remember any of it or anything."
She could picture herself though, standing on the rim of the canyon, and looking down and down and down. It was a fabrication of course, an image pieced together from pictures and TV, not something that had ever happened in any real sense. Georgia Lee had never been much given to spending time in fantasy, and the vividness of her imagining surprised her.
It was this place, she supposed, that was responsible. Sitting here with Fiyori while their classmates slaughtered each other outside – it felt so much like a dream, so it was no wonder her dreams were feeling real.
She crossed her legs under the table, and felt Fiyori's glasses against her ankle.
"Maybe I'll go there after this is over."
Georgia Lee leant forward, resting her cheek on her palm.
"I mean, I haven't been there either, not really. I went with my family when I think I was about,2, maybe 3. I don't remember any of it or anything."
She could picture herself though, standing on the rim of the canyon, and looking down and down and down. It was a fabrication of course, an image pieced together from pictures and TV, not something that had ever happened in any real sense. Georgia Lee had never been much given to spending time in fantasy, and the vividness of her imagining surprised her.
It was this place, she supposed, that was responsible. Sitting here with Fiyori while their classmates slaughtered each other outside – it felt so much like a dream, so it was no wonder her dreams were feeling real.
She crossed her legs under the table, and felt Fiyori's glasses against her ankle.
"Maybe I'll go there after this is over."
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Fiyori leaned forwards, ever so slightly, and a stray hair strand fell into her face. She gazed at her own feet, and for a moment her lips felt incredibly dry. She licked them, lingered and then straightened her back again.
Still not looking at GLD, but instead viewing the ceiling, Fiyori thought and searched for an answer. What she should say to continue the conversation. To continue it, without heating any moods.
"Same."
That wasn't supposed to be what she wanted to say. She wanted to say nothing at all. But still, she let that one word escape. How dumb.
Fiyori tilted her head, and with a look of genuine curiosity directed towards GLD, she asked.
"By the way, how come you know Aiden?"
Still not looking at GLD, but instead viewing the ceiling, Fiyori thought and searched for an answer. What she should say to continue the conversation. To continue it, without heating any moods.
"Same."
That wasn't supposed to be what she wanted to say. She wanted to say nothing at all. But still, she let that one word escape. How dumb.
Fiyori tilted her head, and with a look of genuine curiosity directed towards GLD, she asked.
"By the way, how come you know Aiden?"
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Georgia Lee considered suggesting that they go see the canyon together, then thought better of it. It was empty sentimentality, and it'd only serve to make the other girl see her as weak. Georgia Lee regarded her in silence, instead.
A strand of hair had fallen across Fiyori's face. The girl didn't seem to notice it, but when Georgia Lee looked across at her it was all she could look at. She wanted to reach over the table and sweep it out of her face; tuck it behind her ear. Georgia Lee looked away.
She didn't know how long they'd been in here for – perhaps an hour? It was certainly lighter than it had been, the sun now high enough in the sky to be seen out the partially-blockaded window, and the stale smell of the air had faded, or at least she'd grown accustomed to it.
Outside there were footsteps that grew closer, then faded. The halls echoed, and she couldn't tell if it was one person or three. Georgia Lee realised she'd been holding her breath, and let it out all at once, feeling strangely numb. What would she have done if the footsteps hadn't stopped? If the owners of the feet had tried to get in, perhaps even tried to kill her?
Georgia Lee didn't know. She strained to hear more, to see if the footsteppers would come back, but the only sound now was from a bird, outside the window – Georgia Lee couldn't tell one kind, but it was oddly beautiful. She found herself lost, listening to its whistling melody, and almost completely missed what Fiyori said next.
"Hmm?"
Something about Aiden. How Georgia Lee knew him – right, she'd mentioned that earlier. It seemed like Fiyori hadn't heard the feet, or simply hadn't thought them a big enough deal to mention. Or was it some test, designed to see if she'd say anything?
Georgia Lee's thoughts were wandering from exhaustion, or perhaps as some self defence mechanism, to keep from thinking about the situation she had found herself in. She snapped them back into focus.
"Aiden, right. I tutored him in maths... tutor him in maths?"
It was nice, for a moment, thinking of Aiden's bird face and his carnival-barker patter. The boy spoke like a used car salesman and he'd had an interest in studying in his bedroom that Georgia Lee had suspected was less than wholesome, but when he'd been able to concentrate he wasn't a bad student, and he'd certainly paid well. She'd set him tougher exercises than usual, as homework after their last session. Georgia Lee wondered if he'd done them.
She wondered if she'd ever find out.
Fiyori was clearly waiting for her to elaborate, but there was nothing more Georgia Lee had to say about Aiden, the poor, strange, tiny boy who was probably dying as they spoke. It was an awful thought.
"...It's not going to be the same, is it? When we go back home, I mean. Nothing's going to be how it was..."
A strand of hair had fallen across Fiyori's face. The girl didn't seem to notice it, but when Georgia Lee looked across at her it was all she could look at. She wanted to reach over the table and sweep it out of her face; tuck it behind her ear. Georgia Lee looked away.
She didn't know how long they'd been in here for – perhaps an hour? It was certainly lighter than it had been, the sun now high enough in the sky to be seen out the partially-blockaded window, and the stale smell of the air had faded, or at least she'd grown accustomed to it.
Outside there were footsteps that grew closer, then faded. The halls echoed, and she couldn't tell if it was one person or three. Georgia Lee realised she'd been holding her breath, and let it out all at once, feeling strangely numb. What would she have done if the footsteps hadn't stopped? If the owners of the feet had tried to get in, perhaps even tried to kill her?
Georgia Lee didn't know. She strained to hear more, to see if the footsteppers would come back, but the only sound now was from a bird, outside the window – Georgia Lee couldn't tell one kind, but it was oddly beautiful. She found herself lost, listening to its whistling melody, and almost completely missed what Fiyori said next.
"Hmm?"
Something about Aiden. How Georgia Lee knew him – right, she'd mentioned that earlier. It seemed like Fiyori hadn't heard the feet, or simply hadn't thought them a big enough deal to mention. Or was it some test, designed to see if she'd say anything?
Georgia Lee's thoughts were wandering from exhaustion, or perhaps as some self defence mechanism, to keep from thinking about the situation she had found herself in. She snapped them back into focus.
"Aiden, right. I tutored him in maths... tutor him in maths?"
It was nice, for a moment, thinking of Aiden's bird face and his carnival-barker patter. The boy spoke like a used car salesman and he'd had an interest in studying in his bedroom that Georgia Lee had suspected was less than wholesome, but when he'd been able to concentrate he wasn't a bad student, and he'd certainly paid well. She'd set him tougher exercises than usual, as homework after their last session. Georgia Lee wondered if he'd done them.
She wondered if she'd ever find out.
Fiyori was clearly waiting for her to elaborate, but there was nothing more Georgia Lee had to say about Aiden, the poor, strange, tiny boy who was probably dying as they spoke. It was an awful thought.
"...It's not going to be the same, is it? When we go back home, I mean. Nothing's going to be how it was..."
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It was kinda hard to think about it. To think about Aiden. He was with her, with everyone, on the field trip and like everyone he would die within two weeks or so. Everyone except one, of course. Fiyori wondered whether he would be the one to survive. Whether he had what it takes. Whether he deserved it. For a moment Fiyori liked to think the answer was 'yes', but then so many other faces, so many other names appeared in her mind.
And for a moment, Fiyori felt ashamed.
Either way, Aiden was a student of GLD's, and apparently he made a good enough impression. Which, given his nature, quite surprised Fiyori. It was charming, though. Maybe even GLD had been charmed by his small statue, his prominent beak, his constant chatter. Maybe even by his sexual abilities.
Fiyori looked over to GLD. Probably not, but she imagined he tried at least.
GLD continued. No, she didn't really continue. She picked up another point after she was done giving her answer. Fiyori expected her to ask the same question in return, but instead GLD chose to comment on something peculiar. The wording threw her off. Then she remembered that GLD still – overtly at least – believed in the possibility of rescue.
Fiyori didn't, but she accepted that this was what GLD was thinking.
"I dunno. We'll be changed people, and so I think our relationship will change as well."
For another moment, Fiyori caught herself and wondered what she was just saying.
"...with life, I mean. Our relationship with life."
And for a moment, Fiyori felt ashamed.
Either way, Aiden was a student of GLD's, and apparently he made a good enough impression. Which, given his nature, quite surprised Fiyori. It was charming, though. Maybe even GLD had been charmed by his small statue, his prominent beak, his constant chatter. Maybe even by his sexual abilities.
Fiyori looked over to GLD. Probably not, but she imagined he tried at least.
GLD continued. No, she didn't really continue. She picked up another point after she was done giving her answer. Fiyori expected her to ask the same question in return, but instead GLD chose to comment on something peculiar. The wording threw her off. Then she remembered that GLD still – overtly at least – believed in the possibility of rescue.
Fiyori didn't, but she accepted that this was what GLD was thinking.
"I dunno. We'll be changed people, and so I think our relationship will change as well."
For another moment, Fiyori caught herself and wondered what she was just saying.
"...with life, I mean. Our relationship with life."
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Georgia Lee pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Did you ever know Stacey Prescott? She'd have been a senior when you were a freshman, I think. In Cochise."
Fiyori shook her head.
"She went to my church. We took the youth group I was in, and we did community work together, stuff like that. She was really nice, real sweet. Anyway, when I'm a freshman, so 2013, she gets in this car crash, and it's... you know, it's bad. I think it was raining or something, I can't quite remember, but the car goes off the road and it hits a power pole. Stacey's okay, but her fiance's with her – I think it was him driving, maybe – and he doesn't make it."
Georgia Lee paused for a moment, lost in recollection.
"I can't remember his name. A couple of years older than her, I think. He went to my church, but for the life of me I can't recall what he was called. How terrible is that?"
Probably not that terrible, Georgia Lee realized, in the grand scheme of the state of their lives right now. She continued.
"Stacey breaks her wrist or something, but she's basically okay. She goes back to her job, she comes back to church, she moves on, but... I don't know. People treated her like she was made of glass, after that. Nobody asked her to do anything, nobody expected a thing of her. Nobody talked to her really, 'cause I guess they didn't know what to say. I didn't talk to her either, I mean, I wasn't any better. It was awful."
She wrapped her arms around herself.
"People better not treat us like that, when we get back."
"Did you ever know Stacey Prescott? She'd have been a senior when you were a freshman, I think. In Cochise."
Fiyori shook her head.
"She went to my church. We took the youth group I was in, and we did community work together, stuff like that. She was really nice, real sweet. Anyway, when I'm a freshman, so 2013, she gets in this car crash, and it's... you know, it's bad. I think it was raining or something, I can't quite remember, but the car goes off the road and it hits a power pole. Stacey's okay, but her fiance's with her – I think it was him driving, maybe – and he doesn't make it."
Georgia Lee paused for a moment, lost in recollection.
"I can't remember his name. A couple of years older than her, I think. He went to my church, but for the life of me I can't recall what he was called. How terrible is that?"
Probably not that terrible, Georgia Lee realized, in the grand scheme of the state of their lives right now. She continued.
"Stacey breaks her wrist or something, but she's basically okay. She goes back to her job, she comes back to church, she moves on, but... I don't know. People treated her like she was made of glass, after that. Nobody asked her to do anything, nobody expected a thing of her. Nobody talked to her really, 'cause I guess they didn't know what to say. I didn't talk to her either, I mean, I wasn't any better. It was awful."
She wrapped her arms around herself.
"People better not treat us like that, when we get back."
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Fiyori bared her teeth, her lips forming some sort of smile. She was focused on a strand dangling in front of her face and for a moment she considered sweeping it away. She didn't.
"Made of glass, huh?"
She looked over to GLD, and saw that she has started cradling herself. Maybe not exactly a cradle, but she saw GLD wrapping her arms around herself. It was so odd to see. Georgia Lee Day, who had been on guard the entire last hour or so, allowed herself to show some sign of... well, something. Fiyori wasn't sure how to interpret it. She wasn't sure what to think of it, really. Was it a calculated gesture to awaken some kind of protective instinct in Fiyori? Was it just a slip-up? Holy shit, was she actually opening up to Fiyori?
Fiyori's grin vanished. She opened her mouth. Closed it. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for some kind of answer. She considered reaching out with her hand. Putting it on her shoulder. A pat, maybe. Would that've been wise? Would that've been helpful? She wasn't sure.
"I don't know your acquaintance, but I think there's a difference between her and us.
I mean, can you really look at us and say we are fragile? Mentally, I mean. I think we're holding up quite well all things considered."
She wasn't sure what she was saying. She just wanted to say something, something maybe to cheer her up but that wasn't the point. GLD didn't need cheering, she didn't deserve it.
"It's not my role to be the optimist, but – well, see it from the bright side. You can use this to get your name some recognition. Pretty sure that'll be useful. I mean, look at that guy from Version 3. Fucker got really famous. I mean he died, but... bad example, sorry."
Not that Fiyori was good at cheering anyway.
"Made of glass, huh?"
She looked over to GLD, and saw that she has started cradling herself. Maybe not exactly a cradle, but she saw GLD wrapping her arms around herself. It was so odd to see. Georgia Lee Day, who had been on guard the entire last hour or so, allowed herself to show some sign of... well, something. Fiyori wasn't sure how to interpret it. She wasn't sure what to think of it, really. Was it a calculated gesture to awaken some kind of protective instinct in Fiyori? Was it just a slip-up? Holy shit, was she actually opening up to Fiyori?
Fiyori's grin vanished. She opened her mouth. Closed it. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for some kind of answer. She considered reaching out with her hand. Putting it on her shoulder. A pat, maybe. Would that've been wise? Would that've been helpful? She wasn't sure.
"I don't know your acquaintance, but I think there's a difference between her and us.
I mean, can you really look at us and say we are fragile? Mentally, I mean. I think we're holding up quite well all things considered."
She wasn't sure what she was saying. She just wanted to say something, something maybe to cheer her up but that wasn't the point. GLD didn't need cheering, she didn't deserve it.
"It's not my role to be the optimist, but – well, see it from the bright side. You can use this to get your name some recognition. Pretty sure that'll be useful. I mean, look at that guy from Version 3. Fucker got really famous. I mean he died, but... bad example, sorry."
Not that Fiyori was good at cheering anyway.
Gervais Frans Lambotte Blue Jeans and Bloody Tears Martini-Henry Rifle MkIV Pattern
||Selection|Clicks|Lonely|
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It was shocking, hearing Fiyori say she was sorry.
It was like the girl had just started speaking Chinese, the word was so foreign and unexpected. There was something somehow vulgar, almost profane, about hearing that word from that girl's mouth. Georgia Lee imagined the experience was comparable hearing a pastor swear, or a nun "talk dirty". The gesture she appreciated, but she couldn't help but feel a pang of revulsion.
It was so... unnatural.
"I don't want to be famous, Fiyori."
The words sounded so petulant, like an ungrateful child. Georgia Lee hated herself as she heard them.
"Not just that, I mean. If people know me, if people recognize me... I mean, I'm not scared of it, but it's not something I'm chasing. If I'm famous I want to be known for what I've done, for how good I am, not for... for murdering my friends."
She met Fiyori's eyes. They were startlingly blue, the bluest eyes Georgia Lee had seen on anybody, let alone a black girl. How had she never noticed them before?
It took her a second or so to remember that the answer to that question was tucked against her ankle, and Georgia Lee felt a sudden stab of guilt. She bit her lip.
"I don't want anything from this. Not fame, not money, not... not anything. I don't want there to be a single thing in my life that I can point to and say someone gave to me, and especially not these... these creatures. I know... I mean, I'm not naïve, Fiyori. I know things aren't going to be how they were, but..."
She trailed off.
"It doesn't matter. I mean The Secret's a joke, right? No amount of wanting gets you anything. First things first is to survive, and we'll worry about the rest when it happens."
Georgia Lee forced a smile.
It was like the girl had just started speaking Chinese, the word was so foreign and unexpected. There was something somehow vulgar, almost profane, about hearing that word from that girl's mouth. Georgia Lee imagined the experience was comparable hearing a pastor swear, or a nun "talk dirty". The gesture she appreciated, but she couldn't help but feel a pang of revulsion.
It was so... unnatural.
"I don't want to be famous, Fiyori."
The words sounded so petulant, like an ungrateful child. Georgia Lee hated herself as she heard them.
"Not just that, I mean. If people know me, if people recognize me... I mean, I'm not scared of it, but it's not something I'm chasing. If I'm famous I want to be known for what I've done, for how good I am, not for... for murdering my friends."
She met Fiyori's eyes. They were startlingly blue, the bluest eyes Georgia Lee had seen on anybody, let alone a black girl. How had she never noticed them before?
It took her a second or so to remember that the answer to that question was tucked against her ankle, and Georgia Lee felt a sudden stab of guilt. She bit her lip.
"I don't want anything from this. Not fame, not money, not... not anything. I don't want there to be a single thing in my life that I can point to and say someone gave to me, and especially not these... these creatures. I know... I mean, I'm not naïve, Fiyori. I know things aren't going to be how they were, but..."
She trailed off.
"It doesn't matter. I mean The Secret's a joke, right? No amount of wanting gets you anything. First things first is to survive, and we'll worry about the rest when it happens."
Georgia Lee forced a smile.
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