before this thread catherine was injected with a deadly dose of insulin this is probably her last thoughts on this plane

[Melusine]

her throat woke her up. it was making gargling noises. the thin and thick layer on top of her wasnt imagined, it was there. it didnt make catherine feel better. if anything, it reminded her of how weak she was.

she decided to walk. she couldnt really walk though.

it was more a stumble. a shuffle. like a zombie. she had lost pieces of her brain so she related to the whole undead thing. there were bandages on her. so she was more like a mummy. yeah. a mummy. it was perfection. nerfetiti wants what she has.

the first house had a dead person. it was strange.

usually dead people make her feel sad, but right now, she just felt tired. the blanket was her cloak as she walked up to the body. it was one of a girl. a woman, rather. adele was her name. catherine didnt remember if she were a friend of adele or if adele was a friend of catherine, but she knew she was there and she knew she was in front of her.

"Hey." she mumbled. "I don't remember how it happened."

she sniffed. catherine had forgotten a lot of things. the date. the month. the color of her eyes. she had forgotten a lot of important things. though, she didnt forget that her password was usually c0ff334dd1ct6969, perhaps with a @ or a * or a % if she needed a symbol on the website. why did that come back to her but the rest of life didnt. she had no clue. she just went with the flow.

"Do you think there's something after this, Adele?"


no answer. she liked that. a monologue.

"I guess you would know." no answer. "Does it hurt?"

catherine nodded. the body was there. unmoving. it was undeniably disgusting. would catherine look like that when she died? probably. actually. probably not. shed look more like she currently looks like rather than how the girl in front of her looked like. she sniffed again. she wasnt crying or anything. but it felt good to sniff something. the oxygen in her lungs eroded her raw lungs and it made her feel Alive.

"Yeah." she bit her piercing. tho, she missed and bit her Lip. "I'm not scared of death, really. I'm more scared of what's afterward."

death then hell then limbo. then heaven. then pain then demons then angels then Suffering. ghost then haunting then Punishments.

thats what really scared catherine. what she really wanted was peace. somewhere to close her eyes and never wake up. eternal slumber, but she knew a little part of her wanted more. she didnt know why she wanted more, she didnt know why she wanted to be more than what she was right now. she had never aspired to great things. a serene life settled with a quiet family.

"I guess that's why I didn't start killing." she cried. she really cried this time.

she just wanted a life where the most trouble she would face was the tautology of her daily life.


the i love you's of her loved ones. the good byes. the hugs. the smiles. the waving before and during and after work. the quiet moment that made you wondered if you really wanted that life. those moments that made you know that you wanted it. she gripped her cloak.


it would be around two am. she decided that. it was after dark. she always gets sappy after dark. it made her feel melancholic, but after calm. the Bullet in her chest and in her Leg reminded that she wasnt really at peace. catherine wouldnt be at peace until these wounds would be gone. and they wouldnt. ever. perhaps one day shed wake up and realized this was all a dream.


though, catherine knew better.


"Adele." she wasnt crying. or was she. her face felt numb. "I'm sorry you had to die."



there was a preponderant need to remind herself that the dead had it worse. she didnt know why she had that little voice inside of her head calling her selfish, but it still ran its mouth across catherines neck. she shivered at the thought of that. she could feel its teeth against her. selfish. yeah. she was selfish. sorry mom.



"I'm going to die." sorrymom. "Soon."



it was not an oath. not a law. not a rule. not a destiny. neither a fate nor a instinct. it wasnt false but it wasnt entirely true. catherine didnt know that as of yet. it would be cheating to see into the future. catherine knew that, though. she was aware that her past and her future were cohabiting within her. but she didnt interact with them. they simply looked at her. how many of hers had died for to die here? she pondered on that for a second. how many had she died for her to live in the future.



so it was simply a statement in the night. from one dead girl to another.




"I just don't want to be stuck here."





there was a word for what she was feeling, but it was on the tip of her tongue. though, she had bit her tongue earlier, so the word had jumped out from her mouth without any sound to help her remember. rude. it was terribly rude.






"Like as a ghost and shit." imsosorrymom. "I want to be able to rest."






adele was great at her job of listening to catherine's plea for mercy. it was great to be able to rely on a friend after all. she knew for a fact that nobody would be listening to her, but adele was the closest thing to an ear. nobody paid attention to catherine. it was like the blanket she wrapped around her. a reminder of her futility and unimportance.









"Like a long ass nap, hah."