there's a pale imitation burnt in my eyes

[Maraoone]

((Yuki and Yuka Hayashibara continue from Incredible Adventures))
((Yuki's dialogue, thoughts, and actions provided by Ryuki.))

The sisters continued their walk across the woods, flashlights in one hand, each other's hand in the other, words yet to be traded. Silence had been a constant companion of Yuka the past few days, but it felt forbidding, wrong now. They were sisters. They told everything to each other. Her lips, vocal cords were unable to move, however, as if she also forbade it. She needed to speak, she owed Yuki an explanation. After all, she had asked for it. And, part of her had been yearning for release, for someone to confide to, for the past couple of days.

Her sisters- sister knew very well what she was like when she was sad, angry, and she knew them that well, also. But, there was always that chance that perhaps this unmasking, this revelation would prove too much, scare Yuki off, and leave her alone, again. It had scared Sal off, after all. He hadn't even bothered to call after them, once they left, so she had been right. She was a good riddance, to them, worth nothing more than a sigh of relief. If that had been more than enough for him, then would it be that for Yuki?

Leaves rustled in the distance. The sun had set, by now, and the sky was rapidly turning from dark blue to black. Too fast, really. Twilight lasted longer, back in Chattanooga. The leaves rustled, her hairs stood on end, and perhaps outshining the shadows wasn't enough. Perhaps it was more than the wind, or some wild animal. So, she pulled something out, something that had stayed in her bag for a day now. Just to be safe. Better to explain it quickly, however, before it got misconstrued as anything else. So, she turned to Yuki.

"I, uh, I woke up, got this stupid salt gun," Yuka said, brandishing it in front of Yuki.

“I suppose it’s better than a heavy briefcase,” Yuki said to her sister as they continued walking.

"Heh, yeah," Yuka said, a half-smile on her face. That little puff of air, the curl of her lips upwards, they felt odd, after everything. She hadn't used those muscles in her face in a long time.

"I used it to, like, try to scare off any potential threats, but I did it too well," she said, punctuating the statement with a laugh. It wasn't appropriate, but the feeling was both familiar and novel at the same time, like arriving home after a long vacation.

God, how she longed for that.

The smile faded from her face. "That's where I first met Manuel, at the woods. Theater friend, I think you've seen him around. He'd been scared by me, but then he followed me for, like, an hour. Pretty fuckin' freaky if you think about it, right?" Another laugh. It was losing its novelty already.

“I guess he did look familiar,” Yuki said, “I guess I should count my blessings. I haven’t seen anyone threatening yet, except Lizzie, but she calmed down.” Yuki thought back to the others. Lizzie, Arizona, Saffron. They were fine when she left them. She hadn’t heard their names mentioned in the announcements.

“I wonder how the others are doing,” she pondered.

"...haven't had time to think about that," Yuka replied, looking down. There were others, she remembered, she surprisingly, unfortunately, only remembered now. Others aside from the ones on the announcements. Others still on the island, waiting for her, like Sakurako. Others off the island, like Zen. Their names, and the fact that she only remembered them now, after days, almost brought her down, but she didn't have to talk about it just yet, so she didn't.

She didn't have the energy, in short. Next topic.

Yuka continued, "I- you know, the worst thing about that whole thing back at the woods, with the salt gun, it's. Like, it's that I was the threatening one. I just felt really alone at that moment, like, everyone was trying to talk me down as if I was the crazy one, hell, even Quinn was trying to talk me down. And, up to that point, I'd never, ever felt like that in my life. Ever." Her voice wavered on the last word. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"I felt like a monster, really," she murmured.

"Anyways," she said, "I, uh, I found Tanisha, Jeff, one of the Cams, among some houses. Meeting with her was nice, she was a friend, and I would've stayed with her but... you weren't there. And Cammy started freaking out, so, if I stayed with them, I wouldn't be able to move around and find you. So I left. And, like, Sal was there also, and Manuel, theater friends, Manuel had followed me. And, they followed me as we left, so we went to look for you guys."

“It’s okay Yuka,” Yuki said reassuringly, “At least you didn’t hurt anyone. You’re not a monster.”

Yuka stopped walking.

"Yuki? Promise me you won't leave me, right?"

“Of course,” Yuki replied.

She stopped to face her sister.

“I don’t want to lose you too,” she said.

Tears welled up in Yuka's face, but she immediately wiped them away. Not now, not now, not now.

"OK."

There was a deep sigh.

"When... the news came, about Yuko, I, uh, I wasn't prepared."

She gulped, another sigh, shaky.

"I honestly don't remember much of that day."

“Me too," Yuki replied.

Yuka put a hand on Yuki's shoulder. Whether to steady herself or provide comfort, give something back for the first time in this conversation, provide some modicum of comfort, be anything other than an emotional burden, she didn't know. "We were stuck in the woods, Sal and Manuel and I, and it felt like we would never get out of this forest. It felt like purgatory."

“I was so focused on finding you, I couldn’t think of anything else,” said Yuki.

Yuka's hand squeezed Yuki's shoulder. Steady, steady. "Same. But, uh, also, like, even thinking of finding you, it hurt, because I was supposed to find you and Yuko, and then... I couldn't. Anymore."

Yuki’s face grew sullen. She wanted all three of them to reunite. But in this reality, that was impossible.

Yuka didn't look, couldn't look. She could only continue. "So, uh, I remember looking through my bag, finding out my makeup was ruined because of this fucking rain," she said, pointing at the sky. She took a deep breath, clenched, unclenched her fists, and continued. "And then we slept. And, well-" her eyes started welling up again, her voice cracked, stopped. A barrier, her body physically preventing words. But, she continued, she had to. "I dreamed of our birthday. I dreamed of our dinner, and us giving each other gifts, and I was about to talk to Yuko, and- and-" tears flowing freely, words spoken between sobs, "then I woke up, and she wasn't there because she would never be there. And, and, Sal saw me, and he saw me like this, and I didn't fucking give him the right to see me like this, because only you guys are supposed to see me like this. So, I hit him, and I hit him, and I hit him, but he wouldn't go away and I just wanted him to leave and I wanted everyone to leave but he wouldn't."

And then finally the breaths came, freely, in, out, in, out. Catharsis. Her eyes fixed past Yuki. "So, I... I held on to him," she said, words coming out slowly. "I must've slept, at some point, because it was morning again. And, they were so scared of me. Did you see how far they were from us? It- uh, it- I felt like a monster again. And they had every right to be scared. Sal must've talked to Manuel, they must've known."

Past the tears, snot, broke a smile.

"And then you came."

Yuki’s eyes began to tear up as Yuka recounted the events that led to their reunion. She did not have much to say, so she quietly let Yuka confide in her, while she let herself be a shoulder for Yuka to cry on.

Yuka held on to Yuki, for a while. She felt better than Sal. Her tears soaked the fabric of her shirt, but it didn't matter because the rain would wash it away, eventually. After a minute, two, she cleared her throat, spoke again. "I'm sorry for being like this. I hate myself for being like this, but it's just... you get how hard it's been, right?" She forced a smile, held Yuki's hand. Finally had something to give back. "Have you been holding up?"

“I’ve been doing my best to stay strong,” Yuki sniffled. “I sure could use a nap right now.”

She swiveled flashlight. Trees, more trees. She had not seen any building on this island since the first day. She was almost starting to forget anything aside from this place existed. "...we'll get out of this forest eventually," Yuka said.

Under her breath, "We have to."

Yuki sighed and nodded her head. She squeezed her sister’s hand as she continued walking.

Yuko, watch over us both.

---

An hour or two later, a light green house, almost chartreuse, emerged from the pitch black. That was a comforting color. The fact that any shelter existed on this island, beyond the endless expanse of nature, was a good sign in and of itself, but the fact that it was that color doubly so. The rest of the chartreuse she knew, on this island, had long washed away from her makeup, from her bag, soaked into the soil. She would take anything she got.

So, they stayed there. Found respite from the rain. Endured the next announcements with Yuki, with company for the first time, hand in hand. Tristan, her ex, was gone, it hurt, God, it hurt, but she could acknowledge it, and all the others, and that felt nice, in a way. Their memories were allowed to come back. And after the grief, they ate, told stories, slept, drank water. Rest.

And then, they scavenged the rest of the houses, together. It was the afternoon, the rain finally stopped, the air hung heavy, when they happened upon one of a few dozen. A brown house. One floor like all the others. Flies buzzed within. A fly escaped a circular hole in the wall. There was a sickly sweet odor that she knew but had never smelled before. Yuka wanted to run away. The last thing she wanted to do was enter the house. But, their supplies were running low already. They had to check every house.

They would be forgiven, she hoped.

"Should we enter?" she asked Yuki.

[Ryuki]

“Okay, but let’s be careful,” Yuki said softly.

It seemed the sister had found shelter from the rain. Unless, somebody else had gotten there first. The most concerning part about coming across shelter is the factor of also coming across someone who was unstable and armed. Yuki, putting her finger to her lips to signify discretion, approached the door. She put her hand on the doorknob and slowly twisted it, as to not make too much noise.

Door opened, creaking with every inch. The inside looked empty, although it looked like the place had been ransacked. Everything was quiet, aside from the sound of falling rain. There was a rancid odor coming from inside, like spoiled meat. Yuki looked to Yuka, nodding her head. She stepped inside. Almost immediately, she stopped dead in her tracks.

What had caught Yuki’s attention was the remains of a faceless corpse. The ghastly sight was enough for Yuki to cup her hand over her mouth. Her eyes were as wide as they could be to take in the unsavory remains of the former human. That’s right, this was a human once. Now they were a mutilated, lifeless husk. This was the first time Yuki had seen a dead body, not just on the island, but in her whole life. Yuki began to gag, holding back the bile that was trying to exit her mouth.

[Maraoone]

Yuka failed. She turned her head away from Yuki, chunks of food bars and stale crackers and bread splashing onto the ground, splashing onto her heels, followed by a pained, prolonged retching, stomach pumping in and out, trying and failing to find anything more to expel.

After a minute, she wiped the bits from her mouth. Shuddered, but forced herself to look at what lay in front of her.

Its face didn't exist, anymore. It was a red indentation where the face had once been, with bits of bone and teeth and tissue and muscle and brain scattered within and without. She thought she saw a pair of eyes above the mess. And this was a face, once. This was a face. This was a person, once. A guy, she thought, but that was guesswork rather than an answer. And, she stared at it, she couldn't stop staring.

This was a person, once. This was a classmate, once. And,

she didn't want to believe it was here. She wanted to look away, she wanted to purge its existence from her mind, pummel herself, drum the memory of it away like the rain had all those days ago, but the rain was long gone, all they had left was the air, the stench that hung in the air.

There had been a reason why she decided to go in here, despite the smell. Because of it, rather.

There were four ration bars left in her bag when she started this morning, she hadn't been careful with her supplies. She ate the fourth-to-last bar, and now its remnants were on her shoes. A bag of his probably laid around somewhere. The dead didn't take too kindly to being stolen from, but she hoped they could let this pass, right?

Her eyes lifted up, and then she finally, finally noticed another body behind it.

Immediately, she turned again to the side, chartreuse bits of bile, acidic, clawing, burning its way up her throat, onto the floor.

Behind the first body laid the person she'd been looking for this entire time.

The sisters were finally complete.

[Ryuki]

Yuki tried to look away from the corpse, but she was so stunned by the sight, not even the sound of her sister’s vomiting could distract her. This was like something out of a video game or movie, only more horrific. At least in a movie or video game there weren’t any actual dead people. But this was real life. The sight, the stench, it was all right in front of her.

It was when she forced her eyes to look in another direction when she noticed something else. Another body? Whose was it?

Whose...was...it...?

Yuki instantly recognized the other body. The shoes, the haircut, they both looked familiar. She could recognize this body because she had seen them for practically every day of her life. The only thing different about them was the gaping wound in their stomach. Their innards were on display for the world to see.

Yuka had once again vomited at the sight. She must have recognized them too. Off course she would. She’d known them just as long as Yuki had. Yuki muttered this person’s name under her breath, almost soundlessly.

“Yuko...”

[Maraoone]

Yuka heard that whisper, and only then did she step back, turn to Yuki, try to cover her eyes, but it was far too late for any of that. She hadn't protected her.

She hadn't been able to do anything for either of them.

Yuko's eyes were closed. Her mouth was agape, a frothy juice around her lips. Flies and maggots gathered around there too, some going into her. There were flies in and around what remained of the other corpse's face, but most of them were in the vicinity of the wound in Yuko's stomach.

The smell was unavoidable, at this point. Worse than anything she had ever encountered.

Yuka had once asked Yuki before if, when you smell something, part of that thing enters your nose. Yuki hadn't been able to provide an answer, neither had Yuko. None of them were all too skilled in biology, chemistry.

She wondered, now, if the intense, sweet rot that filled her nostrils, the decay that she could taste, the remnants of her sister were entering her.

The house looked familiar. All houses did, in this area, perhaps on the island. They all had the same set-up. Living room combined with kitchen, a separate bedroom. The house Yuki and Yuka had slept in had that set-up, the house Yuka had been near-


On the floor was a rust-brown streak that stretched from around the wound and ended unseen in the bedroom, behind a wall.


Yuka had been near here, she remembered. A few houses over to the right, back on the first day. Back when she met up with Sal and Manuel. She had been here, on the first day, and Yuko had died on the first day.

She had spent so much time looking for Yuko, back then. She had walked so many miles over the island.

She had been so close.







Yuka walked over to her sister's corpse, steps disjointed, staccato. Her shoulders quaked. She kneeled down, next to the corpse, a few flies settled on her own face. And then, she began to open Yuko's bag.

[Ryuki]

Memories began to resurface in Yuki’s mind. She remembered practicing softball pitches with Yuko. Jogging in the early mornings and trying to keep up with her. Looking at the cute animals in the shelter where Yuko worked. All those memories felt like they happened a lifetime ago. But the most recent memories had to have been two, maybe three years at best. She then remembered their birthday dinner and exchanging gifts. That was a week ago. And now...

Yuki stare at her sister’s corpse, decaying and maggot infested. Her world had been shattered upon the news of Yuko’s death, but now she was looking upon the mess of pieces leftover. Yuki wanted to cry, but she couldn’t. All she could feel was the heavy weight of guilt in her heart. If only she had found her sooner. If only she hadn’t wandered about, directionless. She was with friends, but as cruel it sounded, maybe she should have left them sooner to search for her sisters on her own.

With that thought however, how could she have known Yuko would be here? It’s not as if they had some psychic connection with each other. Would it have even been possible to find her in time? Who knows. It didn’t make her feel any less saddened. Just then, she noticed Yuka going through a bag.

“Wh-what are you doing?,” she asked.

[Maraoone]

"Forgive me," Yuka whispered, unheard to everyone else living.

Three ration bars remained in her bag. Half a loaf of bread. Half a tin of crackers.

If no one else got to Yuka, if somehow she managed to fight her way through to the end, what use would it all be if she wasted away?

She had heard Yuki. But she wasn't asking her forgiveness. That would be for later. One thing at a time.

The zipper stopped moving, the bag gaped now.

If any soul on this island could forgive Yuka, it would be Yuko. If anyone could understand what she was doing, it would be her.

"Forgive me Yuko forgive me please," she whispered, shaking.

Her hands plunged into the bag—

"Forgive me forgive me forgive me—"

She smelled rust, rot, she continued to rummage through the bag, Yuko's stomach laid open—

"forgivemeforgivemeforgivemeforgivemeforgivem-"

There was something solid in her hand. Its shape was familiar. She pulled it out.

From the bag, in Yuka's hand was a pair of football earrings.

[Ryuki]

Yuki watched over Yuka rummage through the bag Yuko had left behind. As much as she hated to admit it, she hoped they could find something useful. Looting corpses is something Yuki would never think to, especially if it was her sister’s. It was unfathomable, and yet here they were.

There was little food to be found, some of which had been half eaten. Was this what Yuko’s last meal comprised of, crackers, bread, and protein bars? Perhaps that was what most students’ final meals consisted of. What Yuki would do for some of her mother’s home cooking. Once more at least.

Yuka’s mantra of forgiveness increased, until she pulled something tiny out. It was the pair of football earrings she’d gotten Yuko for their birthday. Yuki cupped her mouth again, not out disgust this time. This time it was out of grief. Yuki kneeled down, reached one hand out, and placed it on Yuka’s shoulder. Yuka had to be taking this as hard as her.

“Yuka...,” Yuki said with concern in her voice.

[Maraoone]

Yuka felt a pulsation in her hands, and she couldn't tell if it came from the veins in her hands or not.

The teppanyaki grill, I hope you like it, They're really nice, How do they look?, They look perfect, a pair of football earrings in her hand, that had all been barely more than a week ago, before they left for the trip they had talked about college about theater about working for animals about writing Yuka and Yuko and Yuki and they had had so many years then and it had all been reduced to a wet shirt in a bag and a pair of football earrings.

She started sobbing as soon as she felt Yuki's touch, crumbled under it.

Tears streamed from her eyes for the millionth time this week and she wanted to claw her eyes out. She had finally been allowed the thought of other people, other classmates, other emotions in her head, and now she was here and Yuko was here and it all came falling down and she was back to square one. She wanted to get better she wanted to be a protector and she wanted to claw her eyes out and drum her head inwards like the corpse next to Yuko.

The thought of getting better meant getting over Yuko's death. It meant to leave behind the earrings, to purge the smell and essence of Yuko that had entered her. To purge the memory of her. And to get over Yuko's death was to allow her sister less space in her head, to further reduce what had been reduced to a wet shirt and a pair of earrings, to confine her sister to some back corner of her mind as if she hadn't been her best friend for 18 years, and she hated herself for it she hated herself she hated herself and she pressed her hands against her mouth pressed hand pressed earrings against lip against teeth and she screamed one singular scream and she regressed and all her progress all the steps she had made towards being better all the catharsis all the words she'd had with Yuki and the time she'd spent with her had been reduced to nothing to a wet shirt and a pair of earrings and so what remained was a sobbing girl and her dead sister, the other living sister far far into the background.

She was supposed to be a protector.

Yuko lay dead, Yuka sat broken, and Yuki was left to watch and wait.

Yuka was unsure of how many minutes had passed when she finally stopped crying. It could have been five, it could have been fifty. It was still daylight outside, the air didn't hang as heavy anymore, she had gotten used to the odor. There was a sense of regret that lingered, she had broken down again, she had dropped her mask again. She hadn't even paid any mind to her sister, she hadn't even attempted to console her sister, she hadn't been her protector. A raspy 'sorry' came from Yuka's mouth, as sincere as she could make it, but it sounded hollow all the same.

She hadn't known Yuko's corpse was here before they entered, she couldn't have known. She had entered to rob the dead, and so she had to finish the job. She gripped the earrings in her right hand, and with her left hand, she transferred half-eaten bars, a tin of crackers, a loaf of bread, a med kit to her own bag. She did not ask Yuki's assistance in this. It had been her decision to go here, it was her burden to bear. She could at least do that for her. She would split the supplies with Yuki given time and necessity.

And then, she let go of the earrings, put it back in the bag where she had found it.

Keep the heart where it belongs.

There was one final thing to do. Some act of respect. She didn't know what Yuko would've wanted done with her corpse. Yuka didn't like talking about such morbid topics back then. She never thought she'd have to think about them so soon. A speech could be done, perhaps, but she had spent more than enough time here. She felt the smell was soaking into her. There weren't enough words to express what Yuko meant to Yuka, and attempting to find the words would completely deplete Yuka.

Yuko's shirt was raised, leaving her hole of a stomach to rot and fester, exposed for the cameras.

That would be enough.

She grabbed hold of the black tank top, her hand brushed against the side of Yuko's torso, away from the wound, it brushed again maggots and marbled skin that slipped, fit too loosely. She dry heaved a little, her body had nothing more to give. In one swift motion, she pulled it down, the flies on top of the wound dispersed, and the wound was no longer exposed.

Finally, she turned to Yuki.

"I don't want to be here anymore. Let's go."

[Ryuki]

Yuka cried for what seemed like a while. She must have been holding it in all this time. Yuka was a strong willed girl, but this release of emotion would benefit her greatly. Yuki began to cry with her, albeit quietly. The two sisters had come to grips with the reality of their situation. With Yuko dead, they had to find a way to survive for her sake. It’s surely what she would have wanted.

“It’s okay,” Yuki gently whispered, “let it all out.”

After Yuka’s crying ceased, Yuko’s gaping fatal wound was covered in the tank top she wore. Yuka turned and expressed her desire to leave. Yuki couldn’t agree more. She nodded and took Yuka’s hand.

“Let’s survive this,” Yuki said as firmly as she could, fighting back against the lingering grief, “For Yuko’s sake.”

The sisters left the cabin, leaving behind the stench of death.

(Yuki and Yuka Hayashibara, continued elsewhere...)