The Nearness of You (All)

[Endellion]

It's important to have order come from somewhere. If it can't be provided by something else, then it will fall to you to enforce it upon yourself.

It wasn't something that he had made mention of to anyone else, but Julien had actually come up with a list of things he would set out to see done on the way to Washington. There would need to be an addendum to it, clearly.

Fuck.

He was hardly blind. He could see when someone else's hands were shaking, having long since adjusted to his own doing that very thing. It didn't particularly take a genius to guess at what Myles had been thinking either. He had known something like that would happen, yes, but all the same...

The downside of a conscience was that it was all too willing to sting him for the times he went too far over someone who... Well, Julien wasn't wrong simply for caring. But he'd let too many things slide.

Of no help was that Faith's choices of company were just about all poisonous assholes. It seemed that distinction extended to both Carter brothers too, and not just Wyatt; didn't especially surprise him, but still.

Now was no time to dwell on that, however. He had actions to take. The first thing would be to get an idea of where Parker had gone. Being unable to ask anyone who actually knew him if they knew where he was going, since it wouldn't do if word that he was being asked after got back to him, was mildly annoying. It also didn't help that he wouldn't actually know who to ask.

Of course, there were a great many people that he could fall back on either way. So he decided that he would do just that, should he need to.

Julien was willing to guess that he would take an elevator, because using the stairs in a building as tall as this one was just an exercise in masochism unless there was no other choice. Probably the closest one to their room. People liked convenience when they could afford to choose it.

When he got to them, it looked like one was going up, and one down. That made sense. Assuming that Myles was in one, he would want just to get away from them, and going up wouldn't do that. So...

That line of thought was interrupted by the other red-haired disaster in his orbit passing on by, however.

"Hey."

Julien sent a nod his way. "Hi. Any more trouble with Emmett?"

"Nope. Your room being a bitch?"

That came as a pleasant surprise, even only having an idea of what he was like. "Good, good to hear." The elevator had stopped at the floor above, and was now going further up. "And, ah, yeah. If I wake up dead or something, it was Myles." Julien made for the stairs. "I'll see you around, Axel."

"Later."

He pushed the door open and headed on up to the next floor.

It turned out that Julien was in luck, because he saw someone who was fairly clearly not long out of the elevator when he got up there. She looked remarkably unremarkable; perhaps that was the whole point though. "Excuse me, ah... Did there happen to be someone else in there with you? Blonde, few inches taller than you. I need to know where he went."

The girl eyed him for a few moments before answering. It came as little surprise. "Um... I... Maybe? I think so? How come?"

"He took my hat by mistake, and I want to get it back."

That was a passable answer for her, clearly. "...I think eleventh floor?"

"Thank you." Julien walked on past her and didn't look back. She evidently had places of her own that she wanted to be, and that was all he needed to know.

Doubling back wouldn't be out of the question, but Julien doubted it would be the case. Parker couldn't hide it in any of the rooms even if he could get into them for likelihood of someone getting curious or just knowing who it belonged to, and he wouldn't want to hold onto it for too long either. Of course, he could just search every room above the eighth floor in the name of being thorough.

But not right now. Julien didn't want to bump into Parker so soon, specifically going up the floors as he had. So he decided to just take a stroll along to the other set of stairs.

It served as the start of an interesting reminder of just how many people he'd come here with on that fucking bus.

As he walked past the rooms, Julien heard a dispute coming from one of them. The door had been left open. It wasn't all that loud, and he wasn't trying to listen, but from what he could tell it was... the guy who was prom king, Connor if he remembered correctly, and what was presumably his girlfriend inside. It sounded like she was just insisting on being taken somewhere; nothing too serious. A glance as he passed by did reveal that she was standing there with her arms folded, bringing the full power of the resting bitch face to bear.

Julien coughed into his hand in that most particular way, smiling when he heard the door shut a moment later. The rest of the way was uneventful, and from there he headed back down.

---

First thing: take the time to cut loose a little. I'm here to have fun after all, not just do the same things that I would at home.

The next time he actually thought about it, or tried to, was in the hotel gym.

For a precious minute, having set out a suitable pace for himself for a little while by that point, he was able to do so. Julien decided that he would begin his search in earnest tomorrow, just working away at it a couple of hours at a time. He suspected that it was going to take a few days to find the hat no matter what.

It was about then that someone perched herself on another of the exercise bikes nearby, earbuds in, and promptly began singing along to an artist whose name he didn't know, moving with the music as well.

Now the lyrics were worming his way into his head, however unwanted their presence might be proving irrelevant in the face of something that wanted desperately to catch on and not go away.

"One, don't pick up the phone, you know he's only calling because he's drunk and alone..."

And of course, it was one of those songs. There had been many before, and would doubtless be many more like it in the future.

"Two, don't let him in, you'll have to kick him out again..."

He had heard of the girl singing though. By many accounts, she was really into it. Well, sorry if I ruin your groove, Katrina, but I could use the chance to let a little heart out.

"Three, don't be his friend... You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning, and if you're under him you ain't getting over him."

Julien wasn't the sort who would be booed off a karaoke stage, but he was hardly stellar either. But he didn't care, and he didn't hesitate to get loud either. Loud enough that Katrina heard him even through the earbuds, it seemed.

He saw a smile grace her as he started to move in accordance with what she was doing. He was far more suited to alacrity in movement than in voice, so he could keep up the singing just fine along with it.

"I got new rules I count 'em!"

A glare or two was sent Julien's way for his volume, but they slid right off him. He was too caught up in his own enthusiasm to truly notice, even if he would care either way.

He carried it on until the song Katrina was listening to concluded, winding down to a stop on his bike and stepping off. Julien flashed her a smile as he left the gym.

From there, he made the journey back to his room. And of course, something else of note happened on the way.

From a different room this time, he heard what sounded an awful lot like 8-bit music coming out through an open door. Julien stopped there for a few moments, listening to it. Something about it left him with the impression that it was still in the middle of being composed. But all the same, not bad at all.

The door was open, and Julien couldn't hear anything else coming from there, so there wasn't any risk of carelessness leading to his seeing something untoward. So he looked into the room.

Sure enough, there was just one occupant. She looked busy with her phone, which was where the music had been coming from.

"That's actually quite good, you know," he said, not lingering to see the reaction of the lone girl inside, if there were one. He was in a good mood thanks to Katrina, and would rather let a compliment just be what it seemed than chance it being lost on someone.

Next destination: the pool. Julien wasn't one to turn down a chance to take to the water every once in a while. Easing down only a few feet at most was far less daunting than leaps of faith from a high drop, never quite knowing what would await below to catch his fall. And... yes, perhaps he did particularly enjoy the occasional look when the shirt came off, but that was neither here nor there.

One brief journey to his room to get his board shorts and a towel later, and off he went. It seemed peaceful as things went, all the more fortunate for him. There were several others who were clearly from George Hunter too already in there, but the only ones to actually seize his attention were Caroline, sat a healthy distance away from the pool and sketching something, with Regina close by.

The sketch did bring something fairly important to mind.

Second thing: Sierra.

So he approached them, clearly making his presence known before he actually said anything and with the same kind of smile as always on his face. "Hello, Caroline. Regina." It suited him to address the one whose help he was looking for first, and get straight to the point after that. "The sketch is lovely... Might you happen to be taking requests?" Caroline set down the piece she was working on, turning to look at him.

"I guess I could be!" She seemed enthusiastic about it, which was a relief for him.

"Thank you. It's a rose garden that I would like drawn. If it would help, I can give you a reference for it."

"I could use a reference, but I like to put my own spin on things I'm just drawing for fun, if that's alright with you."

Perfect.

"That would be wonderful, actually." Something a little stand-out was just what he'd been hoping to find, and it seemed that Julien would get exactly that.

So he showed her something to work from. It only took a minute or two, and after that he left Caroline to return to what she'd been doing prior. The pool was all but calling to him, and it was frankly about time that Julien saw to answering.

---

It was a fairly pleasant morning in DC, all things considered. The sun was out, not everyone around the National Mall looked miserable, and the trip hadn't been cancelled owing to the teachers finding one of the students violently killed in the night, which felt about as much as could reasonably be hoped for.

And for the last ten minutes or so, Julien had been locked in a staring contest with an unfeeling, unmoving wall of inanimate objects that, if he didn't know better, he would be convinced were judging him through their silence. A pox upon all these cuddly toys for being so obstinate; if only they could have all looked ugly but for one, or the shelves be emptier, to make his choice easier. But no... No, that just wasn't to be, clearly.

Hmm...

Julien made to reach for one, before pausing right as his fingers brushed it, choice made to pluck another off the shelf instead. He contemplated the stuffed lion he now held in his hands, all fabric and fluff, with an impassive eye as he examined it. Rips or tears or flaws wouldn't do, because this had to be as close to perfect as he could manage. His skin felt like it had softened, the toy in his hands not being nearly such a jarring contrast as it would have just a few weeks ago. That was fine by him, though.

It felt right in his hands too. Not small, but hardly big enough to be called a monster either. Not even a minute later, he was setting it on the counter and paying for it, and when that was done it joined some other things in the bag he was toting around. The ensemble wasn't quite complete yet, but the sketch had yet to be finished and he would buy the flowers on the day that Sierra got her gift, so this was as much as he would do for now.

And there were other things he needed to do as well, like look for that hat. His search this morning hadn't exactly been all that fruitful, though he did have a better idea of where it wasn't. Searching through various hiding places, closets and the like had been on the tedious side, but the ninth floor was now well and truly out of the way. That just left... Six more, at most.

He was quickly drawn out of his thoughts by a passing sight of someone who he'd not seen around all that much; still, it was hard not to recognise her right away. She had that unique mix of brightly coloured hair, punk and piercings that really had no fucking reason to be seen on someone from Tennessee of all places, yet managed to seem natural all the same somehow. Catherine, he believed her name was.

By the look of it, she wasn't doing anything more than just roaming free to take in some sights. There was little they had in common that he knew of, and it wouldn't surprise him in the slightest if she wanted to do it in peace, so Julien was very much content to leave her be.

Speaking of leaving people be... Were those fucking Furbies?

A closer look revealed that they were, in fact, Furbies. And that was but the tip of the bizarre iceberg. One of them had what looked like a suit on, and a little podium had been set out for it to perch atop. From where he was, sitting on the other side of the fountain, he watched her take two more out from her bag and set them out before it.

This one in particular, he knew barely anything of. As she took out her phone and begun to take photos, completely ignorant of the looks sent her way, all he could recall was that her name struck him as the unfortunate consequence of someone who didn't think Caitlin was a perfectly serviceable name.

Julien circled around the fountain, starting to just walk on past her when something caused him to pause there. Then he turned, spinning on his heels to look at her.

"I must say this, ah... isn't exactly a standard method of artistic expression. But all the same." She seemed to allow the condescension and staring of others little hold on her. Julien could appreciate that, at least.

There was no response, however, her only action being to shuffle the Furbies around to try and make them fit whatever image she'd conjured in her mind and evidently become lost in. So Julien turned around once again, actually walking away from the fountain this time.

He would be well-served to get back to the hotel and drop this bag off anyway, lest he end up carrying it around all day. It didn't take too long to be back there, fortunately for him.

Once he was one bag lighter, he felt it might be a good idea to go eat something. Perhaps not at the hotel cafeteria, however. The food apparently wasn't something to write home about, the compulsion to be alone did still strike him from time to time, and this was one of those occasions when he felt like indulging it.

So, with a bottle of water soon in hand, Julien departed again to do just that. And promptly saw Faith out in the lobby, heading out with... Abel, Max and Demetri, it looked like. She did look his way, but their eyes didn't meet.

There had been a sneaking suspicion in the back of his mind that he was being avoided ever since she became aware of what had happened with Myles, seeing as how the one attempt he'd made to call her after that had went to voicemail and all of a sudden their paths didn't cross any more. That was affirmation, at least.

He could hazard a guess as to why. For everything, he knew his friend and where she stood far better than the other way around.

And so Julien was content to leave Faith to think as she pleased for now. One thing that he'd learned from Chattanooga, much of a hell-pit as he felt aspects of it were, was that there was only one reliable way to change the opinions of others, and it took a good long time.

That way necessitated not letting what they thought seize command of self, and making the effort of staying true to the person that he wanted to be day in, day out. It was an arduous task, to say the least; goodwill was never truly regained after it had been lost once, some people's opinions would simply never change, and there were good and bad days, some more testing than others. Not as if it was meant to be easy though.

Since she had such a warped view of what people claimed to know he felt about her, then he could begin to work on inducing that change when the time was better for doing so. Trying to force it would only leave him worse off than before, especially on someone so hard-headed.

Hmm.

It seemed that his appetite had left him. Along with the urge to do... anything, really, for most of the day, it turned out.

---

The sun had been setting when Julien found himself on the roof of the hotel, and now night had fallen. At first, he hadn't been the only one up there. Of course, Forrest had been driven away; as per usual for him, it seemed, but even quicker than the norm this time. That was far from the end of it too. Blaise had ghosted him, or at least was making a concerted effort to, his time with Sierra was pleasant but would likely be coming to an amicable end after they were back in Tennessee, and Faith... Faith was out of reach through his own actions. All in all, it seemed rather like he had a knack for smashing glass houses apart. Though... if that was what it took for something new to rise in its place, stronger than the old and faded remnant, then so be it.

Julien stood up and took the time to brush off before he headed down from the roof.

---

Another morning, another uncomfortable night of sleep, another instance of Myles hogging the shower as petty revenge for his stupid fucking hat. It was nearly enough to make him start climbing up the walls.

Julien vacated the room the moment he was presentable and reasonably able to, and fortunately found himself greeted with a pleasant surprise not too long afterwards. He hadn't expected Caroline to be done with the sketch quite so soon, in all honesty, but there would most certainly would be no complaint out of him.

"Hey, Julien! It's done, I think. I went off the sketch you gave me, but I added a few of my own little touches, like the bees. It reminded me of one I saw out in Portland, so I went off of that too. I hope you like it."

Cheerful, as seemed more and more usual for her. The improvement was heartening to see, not least since she was actually rising to it of her own volition. Julien accepted the sketch that was handed to him, cursory look taken over it as he did so. "I love it. Thank you, Caroline." Good quality had been expected, but seeing her exceed made it all the better. Sierra would be quite happy with it, of that he was certain. There'd be a fair few people who wouldn't, but he was betting on the reactions being obvious.

"Right, ah... I won't keep you any longer, so by all means, go about your own day. Thank you again, Caroline." Once she'd said her goodbye and went her own way, only then did Julien make for an elevator. Now there was only one piece left to fall into place, it seemed as good a time as any to go and smell the roses. The carnations and tulips too; there was hardly only a single choice, and it wasn't about to make itself for him.

Wait.

What was he thinking? It most certainly could. That was what friends were for, and he knew just the one to turn to for this particular matter. So as he walked, Julien fished out his phone and sent Camilla a message.

< What flowers would you recommend for declaring affection? >

Short and to the point. The response was fortunately timed too; she came through for him after a minute or so of him browsing a florist's selection and not knowing what to actually go for.

< Well, you couldn't go wrong with roses, but red tulips would also be a good choice. >

Red tulips it was then. Roses, in all their ostentatious beauty that tore into your skin if you didn't handle them just so, didn't seem the best fit for Sierra. In due time they were wrapped up, paid for and in hand as he left the store. The game was nearing its end, and now the only thing left for him to do was flip the fucking table; for the ceremony of it, if nothing else.

It'd be lying to say he didn't look forward to doing so, if but a little.

< Thank you, Cam. >

Julien paid the looks shot his way as he went through reception no mind. The only stop that needed to be made on the way was at the room, so that the sketch could go in its sleeve and then join the stuffed animal in its bag of undisturbed respite from prying eyes or wandering hands. The roses stayed in hand, for a shield of sorts. Of course, last but not least was a message through the aether to the most important part of this.

< Roof, if you would? I have something for you, and I'm sure you'll find it worth your time. >

As he expected, it drew some more attention once he left; likely people would write the roses off as some attempt to set himself back on the road that led into Faith's pants, not understanding that the surest path there was a lack of any emotional attachment or possessive desire that might linger to complicate things. That pre-conception suited him perfectly. Stepping into the elevator once more provided a brief point in space to float free of it, the soft rising motion beneath his feet proving something to focus on.

Once Julien was out beneath the open sky again, the wait was a relatively brief one by his reckoning. He didn't make any effort to keep track of time, letting the breeze blow his mind clear and only looking up when the door swung open.

"Fancy seeing you here," he said, smile coming as easy as always.

[ Julien Leblanc continued in Survival of the Fittest: Version 7. ]