Her body shutters, air becoming trapped within her throat as her partner's hands squeezed the softest parts of her body with a familiarity that Sierra had long missed. Too long in fact and she suspected that Beryl might feel the same way to about their close, intimate proximity. Beryl was making her play and it was a damn good one from Sierra's perspective. With this touch and does sultry words, it brought forth temptations for Sierra to make her move. A checkmate of sorts for Beryl.
But perhaps they weren't playing chess, but rather poker. If that was the case, then calling her former (and possibly soon to be) lover's bluff might be in order.
Sierra continued on with the dance as best she could, even if the momentum of what they were doing was slowly evolving into something that a puritan might be hesitant to call a "dance". Sierra's hands followed a similar tactic to that of Beryl's, going from a simple touch to something more of a squeeze. She wasn't aggressive in her change in tactics like Beryl's, but more gentle and probing to test the limits in contrast.
"Well, I feel you might have given yourself up with your actions, Sleep Head." Sierra whispered, pecking Beryl's cheek. "What was it that spurred this idea on?"
Sierra paused, seemingly in thought before chuckling.
"I guess it doesn't matter too much. What matters is what happens next, right?"
Every Vow You Break, Every Smile You Fake
@ some time after coronation
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TheLordOfAwesome
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The song's tempo had pleasantly turned the energy of the room sticky and sweet. Molasses for the masses.
"Yes," Beryl acquiesced, her voice far less carnal than her touch. Her voice existed in a state of always perpetuity for eternity, a constant of the Universe and just as stable. The Sun itself might have burned out before she could allow herself to speak what she felt or feel what she thought.
Her thoughts, meanwhile, raced like arrhythmia against the paper skin of her chest. Sierra's touch had that prophylactic effect. Beryl liked to up that particular dosage to the point of abuse. Indulgence 'til numb. How long had it been, since they'd played?
This was just a game.
Set and match.
... And, she was not so callous. Her cards fell to the table. Inertia was too strong, it pulled her back into orbit. She drifted without escape, much as her hands went slack and the temptation of another celestial body and all it's skin and bone fell out of her grasp.
"What spurred this idea on..."
Her breath vanished from Sierra's comprehension of time and space, as Beryl turned cheek. She nuzzled hard enough, ear almost against Sierra's lips, that she hid her face from view.
"Nick, Tristan and I. We're over." Her tone idled, gears neutral.
"Yes," Beryl acquiesced, her voice far less carnal than her touch. Her voice existed in a state of always perpetuity for eternity, a constant of the Universe and just as stable. The Sun itself might have burned out before she could allow herself to speak what she felt or feel what she thought.
Her thoughts, meanwhile, raced like arrhythmia against the paper skin of her chest. Sierra's touch had that prophylactic effect. Beryl liked to up that particular dosage to the point of abuse. Indulgence 'til numb. How long had it been, since they'd played?
This was just a game.
Set and match.
... And, she was not so callous. Her cards fell to the table. Inertia was too strong, it pulled her back into orbit. She drifted without escape, much as her hands went slack and the temptation of another celestial body and all it's skin and bone fell out of her grasp.
"What spurred this idea on..."
Her breath vanished from Sierra's comprehension of time and space, as Beryl turned cheek. She nuzzled hard enough, ear almost against Sierra's lips, that she hid her face from view.
"Nick, Tristan and I. We're over." Her tone idled, gears neutral.
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TheLordOfAwesome
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Sierra froze in place, her body becoming stiff and rigid as she heard those words. The world seemed to slow down and the music faded until it was just distant white noise in her ears as her brain slowly grinded to process this information that had completely shattered her previously held, and now completely wrong, worldview. It held like a sudden punch to the gut with her previous excitement over something that she now knows won't happen now ripped away.
They broke up? When did happen? Why did it happen? Why was she just learning about this? Obviously this information wasn't spread around the school yet so that is one explanation, but how come Beryl hadn't told her sooner? The fact Beryl had came out with this information now, when she was being all intimate with Sierra and Sierra with her, made Sierra feel more than a little apprehensive about this situation.
Sierra pulled back, moving her hands so they were firmly placed on Beryl's shoulders.
"I'm sorry, but what?" she asked, her tone both confused and maybe a little disappointed.
They broke up? When did happen? Why did it happen? Why was she just learning about this? Obviously this information wasn't spread around the school yet so that is one explanation, but how come Beryl hadn't told her sooner? The fact Beryl had came out with this information now, when she was being all intimate with Sierra and Sierra with her, made Sierra feel more than a little apprehensive about this situation.
Sierra pulled back, moving her hands so they were firmly placed on Beryl's shoulders.
"I'm sorry, but what?" she asked, her tone both confused and maybe a little disappointed.
Beryl, in theory, knew how to lose with grace. Some lifetime's sampling of many moments worth of dice rolls that had never really mattered later and she was good to go. Supposedly, possibly, hypothetically.
She felt the folding. Her skin, dry like paper like her lips like her big eyes that refused to betray a hint of emotion. Or, that was the norm and the usual anyways. Win or lose or tie, the rough-cut jade of her gaze sat inert. Hurtling through empty space at the same speed the rest of her always did. Relative speed, that which was either the impossibly fast or impossibly slow, maybe both at once, where she seemed to still when the moment grew that overwhelming.
In that moment, she froze. She felt Sierra still- hands onto body. She hadn't lost that connection.
Theory.
Beryl spoke small, spoke with a smile, and smiled herself into speaking. Small speaking, small smile.
"I thought I didn't need to mention..."
She was the type who thought a lot of things of all sizes and speeds that never quite seemed to add up if she paid attention long enough to notice.
"It seemed... usual. And, typical." Her hands fell off Sierra, hung to the indeterminate side where they might as well have not been there be they an inch or a mile removed.
She felt the folding. Her skin, dry like paper like her lips like her big eyes that refused to betray a hint of emotion. Or, that was the norm and the usual anyways. Win or lose or tie, the rough-cut jade of her gaze sat inert. Hurtling through empty space at the same speed the rest of her always did. Relative speed, that which was either the impossibly fast or impossibly slow, maybe both at once, where she seemed to still when the moment grew that overwhelming.
In that moment, she froze. She felt Sierra still- hands onto body. She hadn't lost that connection.
Theory.
Beryl spoke small, spoke with a smile, and smiled herself into speaking. Small speaking, small smile.
"I thought I didn't need to mention..."
She was the type who thought a lot of things of all sizes and speeds that never quite seemed to add up if she paid attention long enough to notice.
"It seemed... usual. And, typical." Her hands fell off Sierra, hung to the indeterminate side where they might as well have not been there be they an inch or a mile removed.
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TheLordOfAwesome
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Sierra's eyes focused on Beryl's own, trying to gleam some sort of hidden meaning behind the words she spoke but to no avail. Sierra sighed and let her hands fall from Beryl's shoulders. Of course Beryl would be so casual about this. As close as the two of them were Sierra honestly had some trouble really understanding Beryl's thought process. Case in point, Beryl not seeing the need to tell her best friend who she was hitting on that she was now single.
"It's just..." She paused for a moment, mulling over her words. How was she going to explain her own thought process? Now that her previously held notion of what she thought had in mind was completely shattered, it honestly felt kind of embarrassing to admit it to her. "I mean... I would have liked to have known before hand because... Well... I thought..." She paused again, her face flushing more than a little.
Fuck now this was more than super awkward. Just standing here on the dance floor, the mood between the two of them firmly killed as she struggled to just talk.
How was she suppose to explain this? She couldn't just go "Sorry, Beryl! I thought you were you trying to run a train on me with your boyfriends!" She would never live that shit down. She doubted Beryl would tell anyone but it would seriously sting her own pride.
She sighed. "Look, it doesn't matter what I thought. Forget it." She grimaced a little, folding her armed under her chest as she looked at Beryl a little sadly. At that moment a thought had just occurred to her. Maybe she was reading too much into it and doubted that it was Beryl's intention but she needed to know. No more beating around the bush.
"I'm not, like, a rebound or something, am I?"
"It's just..." She paused for a moment, mulling over her words. How was she going to explain her own thought process? Now that her previously held notion of what she thought had in mind was completely shattered, it honestly felt kind of embarrassing to admit it to her. "I mean... I would have liked to have known before hand because... Well... I thought..." She paused again, her face flushing more than a little.
Fuck now this was more than super awkward. Just standing here on the dance floor, the mood between the two of them firmly killed as she struggled to just talk.
How was she suppose to explain this? She couldn't just go "Sorry, Beryl! I thought you were you trying to run a train on me with your boyfriends!" She would never live that shit down. She doubted Beryl would tell anyone but it would seriously sting her own pride.
She sighed. "Look, it doesn't matter what I thought. Forget it." She grimaced a little, folding her armed under her chest as she looked at Beryl a little sadly. At that moment a thought had just occurred to her. Maybe she was reading too much into it and doubted that it was Beryl's intention but she needed to know. No more beating around the bush.
"I'm not, like, a rebound or something, am I?"
The song had probably ended, but whatever it was now had long since become irrelevant information that went through two ears and didn't stop anywhere in between.
The myriad possibilities. Quickly, or slowly when a second turned into an eternally slow garrote around her own throat. Beryl tended to forget she needed to breathe until it started to hurt.
Possibilities that teased her brain in a third-person voice: Beryl couldn't possibly have wanted anything less from Sierra than everything all over again, the repeat bar and every measure of the maybe-best years of her life retread
no, the admission of Beryl's own sins and a carnal submission to her due repentance
and the confirmation that Sierra was, indeed, a callously played game piece for a brisk round of Beryl's teenage life
and
all the rest.
And or. Either or, of and or.
Beryl didn't know.
How prototypical.
"I..." She hesitated, and continued to smile somewhere off in the distance in the past and present and future. She stalled, or maybe she assumed she stalled because she felt the flow of time in individual still frames that lingered just a bit longer than they needed to. The expression on Sierra's face burned into Beryl's memory for Beryl to forget.
She wanted to love Sierra, and she wanted to admit she couldn't, and she wanted the damn statements to stop being mutually exclusive for once in her life.
"Don't know," she humorlessly giggled. As if anything that had just happened had ever been funny. "I really.. really, don't know."
The myriad possibilities. Quickly, or slowly when a second turned into an eternally slow garrote around her own throat. Beryl tended to forget she needed to breathe until it started to hurt.
Possibilities that teased her brain in a third-person voice: Beryl couldn't possibly have wanted anything less from Sierra than everything all over again, the repeat bar and every measure of the maybe-best years of her life retread
no, the admission of Beryl's own sins and a carnal submission to her due repentance
and the confirmation that Sierra was, indeed, a callously played game piece for a brisk round of Beryl's teenage life
and
all the rest.
And or. Either or, of and or.
Beryl didn't know.
How prototypical.
"I..." She hesitated, and continued to smile somewhere off in the distance in the past and present and future. She stalled, or maybe she assumed she stalled because she felt the flow of time in individual still frames that lingered just a bit longer than they needed to. The expression on Sierra's face burned into Beryl's memory for Beryl to forget.
She wanted to love Sierra, and she wanted to admit she couldn't, and she wanted the damn statements to stop being mutually exclusive for once in her life.
"Don't know," she humorlessly giggled. As if anything that had just happened had ever been funny. "I really.. really, don't know."
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TheLordOfAwesome
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Sierra's grimace became a proper frown as her heart felt like it had plummeted into her stomach. The smile and the giggle from her friend hurt way more than Beryl probably knew. Sierra knew that Beryl probably did mean anything by it, she just wasn't malicious like that. But whether or not Beryl meant to or not, the words still hurt. Beryl not knowing the intentions of her own actions was unsurprising but honestly made it that much worse the more Sierra thought about it. It felt, in some way, like she had been betrayed even if it wasn't as dramatic as that.
She wanted to be mad, to yell and scream at Beryl, to say somethings that she may regret. But she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to do that.
Not to Beryl.
Never to Beryl.
Even as the mood of this encounter between them quickly deteriorated between them, Sierra still cared for Beryl. Hurt as she was by Beryl's actions, she still cared.
Sierra lowered her head, sadly gazing at the hard floor. She shook her head, stepping back away from Beryl.
"Beryl..."
She couldn't do this.
She sighed, feelings of melancholy and frustration welling up inside her.
"I... I should go." She said, her voice cracking a little.
She backed up a little more, but didn't leave right away. She stood right where she was, but not looking in the direction of her friend, waiting for some sort of response. Some words that could save this situation and she wouldn't have to leave. Something. Anything.
She wanted to be mad, to yell and scream at Beryl, to say somethings that she may regret. But she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to do that.
Not to Beryl.
Never to Beryl.
Even as the mood of this encounter between them quickly deteriorated between them, Sierra still cared for Beryl. Hurt as she was by Beryl's actions, she still cared.
Sierra lowered her head, sadly gazing at the hard floor. She shook her head, stepping back away from Beryl.
"Beryl..."
She couldn't do this.
She sighed, feelings of melancholy and frustration welling up inside her.
"I... I should go." She said, her voice cracking a little.
She backed up a little more, but didn't leave right away. She stood right where she was, but not looking in the direction of her friend, waiting for some sort of response. Some words that could save this situation and she wouldn't have to leave. Something. Anything.
The frame reel cascaded by. Sierra's expression, Sierra's hands. The frame reel burned out. Beryl couldn't help but watch, she was right there as an observer to her own mortality. Put all else aside: Sierra was serene nights under the stars, slow passion blossoming over the youthful seasons, she was a simplicity of intent and of character Beryl could have once called her own. Once. Beryl rarely owned her own memories nowadays, let alone the people they were attached to who were busily hiding on the unseen far side of the moon.
Beryl's hands grasped infinitesimally at the space between them. Beryl continued to observe. All seemed so abstract here in the up close and personal. Or maybe Beryl was just pretending and maybe she was hurting and maybe she just wanted to jump at Sierra and beg for forgiveness in tones of television melodrama- drama, what was that, did Beryl know the script when it was unfolding page by page into her existence- or maybe Beryl was less human than she was the possibilities of a life well lived neatly folded up into bands of color around her own fingers. And maybe, just maybe, life was a game with optimal moves, maybe life was a story with a hero and a villain, maybe life was incomprehensible up until the last second where...
Where?
Here and now and there in the distance Beryl folded her long arms to neatly collapse into the midnight silk of her dress. Her voice echoed in her brain, a moment later through her lips, a moment later a million damn miles away. As she inclined her head with her usually soft, usually weak smile, and said:
"Then I'll see you sometime... Sierra. Hopefully soon. I'd love to catch up properly." Who was talking.
Why was this so familiar.
Who was saying the words coming out of her mouth. "Thank you for the dance!" And the exclamation point, where had that come from.
And her body language was so effortlessly graceful as she turned and began to walk away. Someone was speaking to her. In her head, that queer cartoon thought bubble loudly bleating in Comic Sans. Reminding her of what she was missing, and throwing away, and what was all her fault, and she took a moment to presume she was at liberty to agree- that there was that rush of her heart suddenly beating violently fast with a speed she could not follow, trying desperately to assert, to affirm, that she was the sum of so many irreverently gathered parts, that she was wrong and always had been and always would be and it was her fault, her legacy onto this earth was the beautifully broken girl she left in her wake
And. In conclusion. Her weight went slack, and the floor was suddenly a violent lurch closer. Please no not here not now I cannot I will not deal with this but I deserve it do I not
But she played it off as a mere stumble, as she reasserted control with her trademark ease of uncertainty. Her thoughts quieted with a breath so deep she could have vomited out her lungs with the exhale, with a gentle tug at that band painted hazel innocently adorning her right ring finger. To remind herself, that sometimes memories lingered too long and that they sometimes died too young.
She'd come here for a reason. She didn't know why she'd come, and she didn't know why she would go.
((Beryl Mahelona continued in Life Observes Itself))
Beryl's hands grasped infinitesimally at the space between them. Beryl continued to observe. All seemed so abstract here in the up close and personal. Or maybe Beryl was just pretending and maybe she was hurting and maybe she just wanted to jump at Sierra and beg for forgiveness in tones of television melodrama- drama, what was that, did Beryl know the script when it was unfolding page by page into her existence- or maybe Beryl was less human than she was the possibilities of a life well lived neatly folded up into bands of color around her own fingers. And maybe, just maybe, life was a game with optimal moves, maybe life was a story with a hero and a villain, maybe life was incomprehensible up until the last second where...
Where?
Here and now and there in the distance Beryl folded her long arms to neatly collapse into the midnight silk of her dress. Her voice echoed in her brain, a moment later through her lips, a moment later a million damn miles away. As she inclined her head with her usually soft, usually weak smile, and said:
"Then I'll see you sometime... Sierra. Hopefully soon. I'd love to catch up properly." Who was talking.
Why was this so familiar.
Who was saying the words coming out of her mouth. "Thank you for the dance!" And the exclamation point, where had that come from.
And her body language was so effortlessly graceful as she turned and began to walk away. Someone was speaking to her. In her head, that queer cartoon thought bubble loudly bleating in Comic Sans. Reminding her of what she was missing, and throwing away, and what was all her fault, and she took a moment to presume she was at liberty to agree- that there was that rush of her heart suddenly beating violently fast with a speed she could not follow, trying desperately to assert, to affirm, that she was the sum of so many irreverently gathered parts, that she was wrong and always had been and always would be and it was her fault, her legacy onto this earth was the beautifully broken girl she left in her wake
And. In conclusion. Her weight went slack, and the floor was suddenly a violent lurch closer. Please no not here not now I cannot I will not deal with this but I deserve it do I not
But she played it off as a mere stumble, as she reasserted control with her trademark ease of uncertainty. Her thoughts quieted with a breath so deep she could have vomited out her lungs with the exhale, with a gentle tug at that band painted hazel innocently adorning her right ring finger. To remind herself, that sometimes memories lingered too long and that they sometimes died too young.
She'd come here for a reason. She didn't know why she'd come, and she didn't know why she would go.
((Beryl Mahelona continued in Life Observes Itself))
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TheLordOfAwesome
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"Then I'll see you sometime... Sierra."
Sierra closed her eyes, in haling deeply and holding her breath. She didn't know what she was expecting, but she felt a profound sense of disappointment that Beryl wasn't even attempting to stop her from leaving. She inched back a little more as Beryl spoke, her words and the music more or less becoming white noise as the Sierra's emotions played havoc on her own thought process.
She managed to catch Beryl thanking her and she opened her eyes to watch as her best friend turned and began moving away from her. She watched as Beryl lurched forward, seemingly stumbling as she moved away. Sierra instinctive reached out her hand towards her former girlfriend only to recoil it as Beryl recovered and continued to put distance between them.
Even though Beryl played it off, Sierra knew that it was more than a mere stumble. The two of them were — or had — been close enough that Sierra could identify the sighs of Beryl's cataplexy acting up. As she watched Beryl disappear into the crowd she wondered if she'll truly be alright? Should she go check? It would be dangerous if she were to tumble to the ground here. Somebody should keep an eye on her. Despite everything that had just happened, Sierra still cared deeply for her.
But she turned around.
She moved in the opposite direction, navigating through the crowd of students as she made her way to the nearest exit.
Her pace increased as she drew closer and closer to the exit. Her eyes burned, her breath hitched in throat as she hastily tried to fish her phone from her pocket. In her rush the smartphone slipped from her fingers and clattered to the ground. She stopped mid-stride and bent down and snatched the phone whilst swearing under her breathe before continuing on. She exited the building, the cool night air washing over he and the loud music of prom replaced by the hush of night. Sierra shifted through her contacts before stopping at the contact she needed. Pressing send, she put her phone to her ear. In a matter of seconds someone answered.
"H-hey dad," She said, her voice a little shaky and tears forming in her eyes. "Can you come get me?"
[[Sierra Cook Prom End]]
((Sierra Cook continued in Room 816: You Need a Bad Girl to Blow Your Mind...))
Sierra closed her eyes, in haling deeply and holding her breath. She didn't know what she was expecting, but she felt a profound sense of disappointment that Beryl wasn't even attempting to stop her from leaving. She inched back a little more as Beryl spoke, her words and the music more or less becoming white noise as the Sierra's emotions played havoc on her own thought process.
She managed to catch Beryl thanking her and she opened her eyes to watch as her best friend turned and began moving away from her. She watched as Beryl lurched forward, seemingly stumbling as she moved away. Sierra instinctive reached out her hand towards her former girlfriend only to recoil it as Beryl recovered and continued to put distance between them.
Even though Beryl played it off, Sierra knew that it was more than a mere stumble. The two of them were — or had — been close enough that Sierra could identify the sighs of Beryl's cataplexy acting up. As she watched Beryl disappear into the crowd she wondered if she'll truly be alright? Should she go check? It would be dangerous if she were to tumble to the ground here. Somebody should keep an eye on her. Despite everything that had just happened, Sierra still cared deeply for her.
But she turned around.
She moved in the opposite direction, navigating through the crowd of students as she made her way to the nearest exit.
Her pace increased as she drew closer and closer to the exit. Her eyes burned, her breath hitched in throat as she hastily tried to fish her phone from her pocket. In her rush the smartphone slipped from her fingers and clattered to the ground. She stopped mid-stride and bent down and snatched the phone whilst swearing under her breathe before continuing on. She exited the building, the cool night air washing over he and the loud music of prom replaced by the hush of night. Sierra shifted through her contacts before stopping at the contact she needed. Pressing send, she put her phone to her ear. In a matter of seconds someone answered.
"H-hey dad," She said, her voice a little shaky and tears forming in her eyes. "Can you come get me?"
[[Sierra Cook Prom End]]
((Sierra Cook continued in Room 816: You Need a Bad Girl to Blow Your Mind...))